Allison Holker Boss Thought She Would Never Dance Again After Twitch's Death

[Applause] welcome back everybody it's just over a year since the tragic passing of Steven twitch boss this month his wife Allison will release a children's book that they wrote together before his passing it's called keep dancing through a Boss family Groove and it celebrates a day in the life of their beautiful family please welcome Alison Hulker [Applause] [Music] boss [Applause] [Music] man you and Jamie are really into like the Fall colors that us almost like y'all both look like Earth elements today I wanted to make sure I fit the part being here with you y always look so beautiful oh I do nothing I sit in a chair girl um you almost didn't release this book I imagine because it's so personal yeah so back in 2021 with my late husband we wrote this book and it really was just a testament to our family we wanted to write something that shared a day in the life of who we are what we are and we really believe in affirmation so you really follow my kids each going this journey and how we get through everything yeah so then when everything happened I didn't know if I wanted to release the book because part of me selfishly wanted to hold on to it for myself and for my kids just to have something like a time capsule for us to look back on yeah so I almost selfishly held on to it for myself and then my gut reaction I just started reading it over and over and over again I was reading the title keep dancing through and I was like that's all I can do and that's all I can do with my kids and what I can teach them and I felt like God in Universe was like no you have to do this because everyone that's followed my journey and followed his journey and our family coming together and me having kids with him everyone's been so supportive and love lovely and it was a way for me to give back to them that they can keep dancing through as well absolutely and what a message for your family too when tragedy you know fell upon your family you know what I'm saying what a message and I think that's the thing is you're a living breathing version of that you got to keep dancing through it and and speaking of that actually I I want to cut to this real quick because I love this so this is the first time that you danced since your husband's passing and I want to show everybody this H um love this yeah it was um it took me doesn't it feel good I love dancing so much I'm not you but I love I don't look like that dancing but I love dancing I don't care it feels so good to express yourself in that way and to like not be able to do that because I imagine like how precious that is like even more so now like that you fell in love with a dancer you know you both are so expressive your family I imagine all of you were like that it just feels good right to release dancing for me has been always my safe it's where I've gone to be able to express myself and story tell and and honestly just feel like the most me that I can feel yeah and after you know losing something and having this connection with something that was with someone that was so big I did not know if I was ever going to dance again cuz it was something that we treasured together individually and it was a way for us to express ourselves and I think I was really scared of dancing again because it would make it real and then about 6 months later I was like you know what it's time I've got to do this for me I've got to do it for him I've got to give him the peace and the grace and show your kids and show my kids that like we can do this and we can do the hard things which is something I always say with my kids is we can do the hard things so I did the hard thing I but I wanted to do it with someone I didn't want to do it alone so I brought my friend over and we danced together and oh I felt so free yeah freedom and it was it was a release and energy and it was so healing for myself and so I I was kind of mad that it took me a second to do it but also proud myself for getting back out there and doing and doing it and um my my kids were excited about it and they were literally watching me while I was dancing and I was proud of myself I really was and it's something that and then watching you smile then watching you be like that's that's a sometimes actions speak louder than words I know everybody says all the time but it is true it is and I think sometimes what I'm learning with grief is I've always known that it was going to be a mental and spiritual um test that you have to get through I didn't understand that it was going to be so physical and I felt it actually take over my body sometimes when my my body actually ate at times and so being able to have dance to release that energy off of me was such a a fantastic moment for me to find it again and fall in love with it in a new way and have a completely different understanding of what it is to me appreciation and the appreciation and again being able to share it with people that have been there for me I wanted them to know that like this is really hard but I'm going to do it with you guys I'm going to bring you guys a part of this journey and um it's been something that we have not stopped doing cuz now we dance in our house all the time like we always did yes I really want my kids to know and accept that it's okay to have fun yeah that has been something that I doesn't mean everything ends like you know that when grief hit sometimes it feels like that it feels like well how do you go how do you start again like how do you yeah every season has an expiration date that means that the hard times they are going to end and you're going to get to the other side and you're going to be okay sun will come up the sun will come back out and you're going to be fine and you're going to be able to laugh again and you're going to be able to smile but also on that same note the good times also have an expiration date so you must find gratitude and the joy of life because life is the gift MH so every season has an expiration date yeah yeah that's a book we should WR um well if you are someone you know is looking for Mental Health Resources please check out the National Alliance on Mental Illness uh we have to take another short break but keep dancing through a Boss family Groove is available right now and everyone here is going home with a [Applause] [Music] copy [Applause] thank you guys y'all have a great night I'm going home