Jana Kramer Fell In Love With Herself Post-Divorce

(audience applauds) - It's like y'all called each other to match, like, today. - That's it. - Yeah. - The Scot's amongst us. - Yes. - Yeah. - The Scot is rubbing off on you, like at home. - Yes. - You are amazingly beautiful pregnant. - Thank you. - That does not happen for all of us. (audience laughs) That is amazing. Which baby is this? Baby number three. Right? - Three and done. I told the doctor, I was like, "Take everything out that you need to take out," so. - I said that on my second one. And then she said, did she tell you, "Well, it just depends on how much..." like whatever. I don't know if I get graphic, "But it depends on like things or whatever." And I was like, "Girl, if I get out of here and I have tubes in this body, we are gonna have a problem. (laughs) I was like... yeah. - Exactly. - Because I feel like some of us you could just like, (Kelly blows the air) and you get pregnant. That's, yeah. - Well, I didn't honestly think we could, and my fiance and I were talking about it. I'm like, "Listen, I've had multiple miscarriages," and I'm about to be 40. So, you know, I didn't know. And the first month trying. - Wow. - Oh my god. (Jana laughs) It's powerful. - So, yeah. - It can be powerful. Do you have like a... - That's Scottish power. - When are you... Yeah, there you go. (audience laughs) He's like, "Yes." (audience cheers) So, are you feeling good? Your due date, is it soon? - Four weeks. - Oh, my gosh. (Jana laughing) - What are you doing here? - Gosh, and exactly. (Jana laughing) (audience laughing) Do you know how to deliver a baby? I was like... - I was having contractions back. I was like, "It's just Braxton Hicks, we're fine. - Oh, my gosh. - Yeah. - Are you feeling okay? Like... - No girl, I'm ready. Like, we're like... - Yeah. I was like that. - I was like, "Hey baby, run's up, like, it's time." - Yeah. Get out. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And I'm very blessed. - And then you get the skin to skin. My friend just had a baby, and I'm like... I keep texting about skin on skin time. I love that time. - That's the peace, where I just wanna see what he looks like and just hold him. - Yeah. - It's a beautiful thing that we've created, something that I didn't think this would be my story. - What a beautiful surprise as well. So, okay. So, your fiance is Scottish, so when I go to Scotland, no offense, sometimes I have no idea what the hell they're saying.(laughs) And they have no idea what I'm saying, by the way 'cause, hello, accent. But did y'all have a problem ever, like, in the beginning? - He has a very thick Scottish accent. So, at first, I'm like, and now I see my friends leaning in, and they go, "What'd he say?" And I'm like, "What he said was, if you, you know... - (indistinct) interpreter. - If the bin is the trash and then the garden is the backyard and then, you know? So, just... but he slows down for my friends, which helps. But now he's back to speed. But I cannot understand his family. - So, is there like a confusing Scottish phrase? I had a guy, he was one of the drivers when I went over there touring. I was like, "Can you just teach me some of the, you know, "like a thing that y'all say," or whatever? And then I couldn't learn it 'cause it was so damn difficult. So, can you teach me like a Scottish phrase, which like a... - I mean, it's probably 'cause they speak too fast. "All right, pal, how you doing?" - What? - "You okay? You okay? You okay?" Yeah. "All right, pal, how you doing?" - I'm like, "Why are you asking me if I'm okay." - What did you just say right now though? - All right, pal, how are you doing? - Oh, right. Oh, okay. - All right, pal, how you doing? It's just like they talk very fast. - That's like one word. Yeah. - Yeah. - It's the hardest accent to even try to replicate. 'cause whenever I try to sound like my fiance, I either go Russian or like... He's like, "I'm not Russian." I was like, "I know, but that's like how it comes out." So, yeah. (laughs) - I can't do accents either. - I'm terrible. - For some reason, I always end up Jamaican. I don't know why. (Jana and audience laughing) It's so sad. I'm not Meryl Streep. You know, she could just like float through it. Yeah. - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. - Anyway. So, you're getting married in Scotland, right? Yes. - Which is beautiful. - We're very excited. We just secured the venue yesterday, actually. - Oh, wow. - So, yeah. Next summer. - That's amazing. Is your family gonna make the trip? Obviously, his family's there probably. - It's gonna be very small, but yes. Like about 40 of us that are... - That's kind of the greatest thing about a destination wedding is that everybody doesn't come. (laughs) It's like... you know what I'm saying? You're just like.. you're like, "Oh, it's..." 'Cause it ends up being sometimes about everybody else rather than the bride and groom. - Exactly. And we just wanted our closest people together to celebrate, you know, this beautiful thing that, again, we never thought was gonna come about. All right. Well, is there any... - Room for one more? (clear throat) (audience laughing) - Yes. Room for one. He's hanging out and... Wait, are there any cool things in Scotland? Do they have like wedding things? Like any kind of cool wedding? - So, we're gonna do a mini Highlands game with the guests. - Oh, mini Highland games. That's amazing. - Wait, what? - Which should be fun. I don't really know what that entails but he keeps saying, "Mini Highland." I'm like, "Yeah," like (indistinct) - Like archery like things or like... - Oh, not archery. - Oh, well. - We don't have archery. We throw capers. We toss tree trunks and lob rocks around and... - You thought archery was weird. And then you said? (laughs) - Throwing tree trunks. You wanna come? Let's do it. You're excited. - I'll throw a tree- - Are you having a caly? - Yes. We're gonna do... We're like the whole, like, I want like the tree. They're gonna wear kilts. - It's some madness. It's organized madness. It's dancing, but everyone dances and they very organized. But it literally gets faster and faster and it's chaos. It's chaos, organized chaos. It's brilliant. - This sounds fun. - Can't wait. - Yeah. - Yeah. That sounds way better than weddings over here. - Yeah. I mean, and you know, the baby's gonna wear kilt. My son Jace, he's gonna wear... So, it's gonna be real cute. - Oh my gosh. I love it. All right. (audience applauds) So, I mean, I feel like we've had kind of similar worlds. I feel like we've had like similar things kind of happen with us in recent years. And so to write a book, first of all, is so brave. I mean, I wrote songs to get my stuff out but like post-divorce, like, writing a book that, like, that's hard to be that vulnerable after something, like, so tragic in your own life. Like how was that? - It was really hard. And you know, my ex and I we wrote a book after the infidelity in our marriage and how we got through that. And we actually had another book deal about trust. And that's when I found out about more things. I think, you know, once I kind of rose up from all that, it was, I needed to write this book about trusting myself and moving on. And this book is... it's truly about my journey and looking in the mirror. 'Cause I realized, I was like, "Okay," when I started the book I was very angry. I was bitter, I was angry. - For a good reason. - I was mad. And then I realized that I had to kind of look in the mirror and go, "Okay, there's a lot of pieces that I contributed." I had a lot of brokenness even before I met him. So I had to fix these, whatever this brokenness is to not repeat the same toxic patterns that I was bringing to it as well. - Which is so helpful for anyone going through. 'Cause I don't think people realize too when you go through like a divorce, it's loss. It's like grief. I had never experienced anything quite like that. - Well, your world is taken away from you. - Yeah. - The world that you imagined for your children. And that's not a world that I wanted for my kids. And so I had to go, "Okay, how do I now single parent, "how do I walk through this, "how do I walk through despising this man "that ruined my life?" But then realizing now it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, knowing that like, I finally fell in love with myself for the process. - Because that is the hardest part, because I think the thing that I went through and I find that you did as well, like, via talking about trust and what this book is about, literally, it's you're not... Like the fact that when you wake up one day and you go, "I cannot trust my decision making skills," like, "There is something wrong with me." Like, I'm like, "'Cause I made a decision to do this, "and I made a decision to do that." That's the messed up part is in therapy, is when you learn, you're like, "I'm having a hard time just trusting me, "like, let alone someone else." - And I think there was that piece. And then also like, I did not respect myself. I didn't love myself. And so why would I expect that from someone else? He could never have given that to me. - Or how do you know how to receive it if you don't know how to give it to yourself? - 1000%. Yeah. - Yeah. It's a very- - Writing the book also must have been like a process of therapy as well, right? - Oh, it was, yeah. And just doing, you know, the hard work and really digging deep and go, "Okay, what are all the messages that I've believed for the last 30 plus years of my life that I have to now retrain my brain that, "Oh, wait a minute, I don't deserve that "and I do deserve respect." In this new relationship, everyone's like, "Well, why is it different?" I'm like, "He respects me "but it's because I now know I deserve respect." - Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yes. - Now, you know, I'm so thankful for the relationship that I do have with my ex now. We have a great co-parenting situation and we've really... - That's amazing. - ... formed a new relationship, but we had to let go of the resentment, 'cause we both had resentment from the marriage. And so it was able to go, "Okay, now this is our new relationship," and moving forward. - And that's not easy to do. - No, it's not. But we love our kids. - That's what I'm saying. It's the kids that really changes that, I feel, 'cause you'll do anything for them. Have you ever had a moment like that when you figured out... You went through something rough and you figured out something about yourself that you didn't know? - I don't know. I think time does that, and age as well, right. And I guess even now I'm kind of going through that, you know, I'm in the 40 club. And yeah, you get a lot the time to like reflect and I'm also coming to the end of a journey of my acting in a certain show that I'm doing. So yeah, I guess I'm always reflecting on that. But I guess, acting is almost my therapy, you know, writing books is also another way of doing it. - And it's, you know, we've all been told messages from our childhood trauma or past or from past relationships and you know, not letting that be the truth. And so knowing what is the truth and trusting that and it's hard, sometimes old messages still come up like, "Oh, maybe I'm not good enough." It's like, no, those are old messages. What's the new and what's true? - Yeah. Oh, it's gonna be the most helpful book ever for so many people, including me. I'll be reading it. So, you're 40th, right, it's coming up? - Yes. - So do you have big birthday plans? - So this is... - I mean, other than the one present, (indistinct) anything going on, anything? - God truly played a joke on me because my 30th birthday, I was like, "I'm alone and I'm single. "I've got no one." You know, so my 40th, I was like, "I'm gonna blow it out. "We're gonna have this big party "in an island and the fireworks." When I got my due date for the birthday, for the birth, it was like my 40th birthday, I was like, "You've got to be kidding me." - Oh my God. - Wow. - But now, I'm delivering two weeks prior and we're gonna do, not because of that, but- (audience laughing) - You were like, "Excuse me... - (indistinct) right. - "But I need my moment." - No, it got some complications. So, we're delivering a little earlier, but we're gonna do a murder mystery party. - [Sam] Awesome. - I'm so excited. - I've always wanted to do that. - Same. So I was like... - I Almost got to do it one time. - Come on. - Yeah. - Come to Nashville. - That seems so fun. Have you ever done that? - No. But I'm guessing you get... like someone knows who's the murderer and you got to... - So, we have some actors coming to the house. - Oh God, what's up for them? - And then some of us are suspects and then one's the murderer and then we try and figure it out. It's gonna be themed and... - I'm in (indistinct) - I want be the murderer. - Yay. (laughs) (audience laughing) - Now we're gonna unpack that later. (audience laughing) All right. Let's do another commercial break, everybody. Jana's new book is called The Next Chapter. You can find it wherever books are sold.