Chris Olsen: My Revenge Porn Experience

one day and is this in college you walk into your kitchen and your entire family and your friends are there to give you an intervention the drinking I got to the point where I couldn't go to sleep sober and I would cry all the time when I was drunk which was the indicator of like I as we said I learned how to not feel sober so I was crying all the time drunk so I everything had gotten and I was also like doing a bunch of other drugs anything so I wouldn't be sober yeah so I walk into my kitchen and my entire family is there it's like my mom one of my family friends moms my aunt my uncle my dad my sister two of my best friends from college and an interventionist and I walked in and I just sat down like I didn't protest I knew what was happening but I also didn't know that the deal was and now you have to go to to rehab today basically it's like at an intervention you sit down and everyone reads how your alcoholism and addiction has impacted you them and it's very emotional and people who aren't there also send in letters so like my grandma my Filipino Grandma who's been in a bunch of my Tik toks had to send in a letter and all that stuff and then they finish it with like and so now we need you to go to Florida to rehab today and I remember being like Oh well I can't like I have to finish school like let me finish the school year and I'll go this summer like let me do a summer rehab you guys like this is with the plan um and then the interventionist is like okay are you refusing help and I was like yeah and then he was like okay everyone turn to the next page next page in their packets is how I'm no longer in their lives and everyone goes around saying you will no longer exist to us like I'm I cut you off financially I will not respond to a single text I'll not do anything it's going around and it gets my sister and she breaks down and is just like don't let um Dad read his letter and my dad started crying too and as I've said my dad like rarely cries and see him cry I just knew at that point what it was it was like you're going to be homeless and cut off from the family you'll never be a like I will be alone and as I said I felt alone was safe but like I could not be that like I knew it was was I was backed I was forced into it in a in a good way like I needed to go to rehab but that was the end of it oh and my my aunt was there one of my aunts who is now she passed away a year after I got sober um but she was also there and like I think her like breast cancer had come back around that time so she was there um and like seeing her there saying how confusing it was to see me go through this was also heartbreaking at its time but I was not surprised when the intervention happened I was really destructive and like crying when I was drunk angry when I was drunk I would yell at my friends like if they wanted to help me I would like push them away I was like so I I was letting out I think all of the feelings that from 15 on I had learned to not feel when I said don't feel and then when you're drunk it just comes out it just comes out so you go to rehab and I remember reading like you said after getting sober things didn't just completely change overnight like you still lightly were participating in activities that you weren't proud of what patterns like with yourself were you kind of like still engaging in like I well when I went to rehab when I stopped drinking a month in I lost like 25 pounds because of like the literal like alcohol flushing out of my body basically and I started going to the gym so I got in shape and I was like I had gotten male attention in a way that I hadn't received it before and like it's a slippery slope once you're sober because it's really easy to get addicted to anything else and so I think like like my sexuality is what I leaned into and like I was like posting thirst traps all the time on Instagram doing that like I was like just being I was just trying to I like that was my that it was what my like addiction turned into was like that and also you like the using my sexuality for um control and power and feeling like oh I have worth I was that's what it was I was placing my worth in that and so that resulted in like activity that I didn't like whether it was like sending pictures to people that I shouldn't have or pictures or videos or some like that but also even saying that like I don't blame myself for those moments because we've all done like to a certain degree something like that but it had gotten to a point where it was like I was doing it at a level where like I knew it was past what I when I was logically thinking was comfortable with like when I was walking around day to day I was like I don't like that this is kind of what I'm doing like I I if I'm if I'm really honest with myself I think around that time if only fans had been as big that's what I probably would have done that but like I didn't and like I'm then that's not like again that's not a slight to anyone who knowes only fans live your dreams but like at that era right after becoming sober was not something I should have been playing with but I leaned into it because I was also really used to doing the wrong thing often hi Daddy gang thank you so much for watching this video keep in mind that was just a little clip from the episode if you want to watch the entire full video episode it is linked below it's the first thing in the description go watch it it's a great episode love you all I will see you next Wednesday