Justin Assada On DMs, Dating in LA, and ‘Perfect Match’

his love life is talked about all over the Internet he was on Dancing With the Stars despite not being able to dance he once wrangled a kangaroo with his bare hands I did he's your favorite reality TV [ __ ] boy reformed he can make a woman fall in love at first sight he is Harry jowy boyfriend material welcome back to boyfriend material you little calamari and you know you guys said Harry stop talking about perfect match blah blah blah get off my nuts because today we have a very exciting guest and yes we're going to talk about a little bit about perfect match why did I say it like that who knows but um most importantly we're just going to talk about a great human and the person we have on the podcast today is Justin assada welcome it's good to be here how you feeling I feel like this is this is great this has been the most like formal uh scenario that me and you have been yeah yeah right no cuz we met uh on perfect match season 2 if you haven't watched it don't just listen to the podcast yeah don't watch that stuff to do that yeah you silly goose um but we had so much [ __ ] fun on the show we did like there was there was clips of us like jousting with the F the jouster the jouster it's in your blood it's yeah but I want to be honest when I first won the first challenge with a lease I saw your face on the board and I was so insecure you said that to me that is that makes me bashful really cuz I think he was such a handsome guy oh my God I'm bless you I know that and then do you said had stinky breath though yeah okay so this is what we I saw Justin on there at least was like oh this guy looks beautiful he looks great I was like you know what he's probably really short she goes well that doesn't matter I'm like he's probably got really stinky breath I don't know I was trying to pick him apart I'm like let's just not get him in here yet because if he's my height and he's just handsome we're in trouble but luckily he's got funky toes no that's not no I thought we covered that that's not real that was little editing magic do you want to explain that situation why did they zoom in on your all right here's the thing I don't know I think production has beef with me but people are asking about the toe and it's the funniest thing ever because I have all these people in my comments being like bro get rid get that corn chip toe fixed like you know there's medication for it I'm like listen the bottom line is it's not fixable it's like a dead toe all right there's like wait how does the toe die so I think I was like skating when I was younger and then like I broke it or something and then all of a sudden the toe went black like the nail went black everything went black and then I was like oh like I'll give it a few weeks it'll probably be it'll probably be better and it's been like 15 years and it hasn't gotten better whoops did you get it checked or no uh yeah they're just like it's like dead it's yeah damn it's like Mr Deeds where he has that like dead toe and he's like yeah but it's gross I know but the thing was about the dead toe growing up my mom made me feel like so self-conscious about it and she was like why what she's like that thing's disgusting like Mom you grew this no but it's still my fault cuz the toe's like she let's gaslighter if she didn't she didn't birth you she didn't have you in her womb for 9 months and have you come out like technically that's her fault yeah she needs to take responsibility mom if you're watching please apologize but she was like you're going to find a girl one day and and you guys are going to go to the beach okay it's either or and you're going to go to the beach and you're going to have to dig that thing in the sand so like whenever I used to meet girls growing up I was like yeah like I know you like me but like I got to tell they're like what I was like me Toby my uh my dead to and uh they like what you call it Toby it's got a day so I was like stressed out and then um yeah like tell all these girls about my dead toe and they're like that's disgusting but that doesn't like that's not necessarily a deal breaker yeah it shouldn't be but you can't be perfect you know you got have one thing yeah exactly if it wasn't the stinky breath it would have been a dead toe yeah would have been a web web feed or something like that coming into the house what was your like first impressions of everyone were there people there that you've seen before or met before did you know anyone before no no not NE I knew I knew you I knew your face that's that's all it was so the thing was like I was going into the house and uh I think I like Dom looked familiar too like I don't really watch Netflix as funny as that sounds yeah same no I I never watched reality shows cuz I feel like well this is my mindset when I did my first ever TV show yeah I was watching Jordi Shaw so much that there was this character on there that I wanted to be like Scotty T so I was like playing into this character and then after that I was like well that's not necessarily me so then when I did the next one I was like I can't watch anymore cuz I'm going to try and be someone someone else that you're not yeah yeah but what about you no I Tred like even from my first show like I don't know I mean that's a whole other conversation but like going into this one yeah like dating shows are completely different and so like I don't know like I came in after such a [ __ ] date with lease it's true and um the thing was like I was like as soon as I get in here I need to like start scoping out people and uh then I see this [ __ ] guy over here all 6' five of them I'm like there's no [ __ ] way he's This Tall too so I'm like all right this is going to be harder than I thought let's talk about surviving Paradise what what was the difference between that and that show was awful I no I had the greatest time in my life oopsie that show no that show it was don't get me wrong it was fun but like here I was and I was going into uh surviving paradise and they're like like what is the show and I'm like I don't know it's kind of seems like it's like one big facade it feels like they're pulling my chain a little bit like it doesn't feel like it's a real show and so my manager at work was like could it be too hot to handle and I'm like stop do you think it is so then here I am going to Greece and I'm like this is too hot to handle season whatever I'm like yeah I'm going to get my [ __ ] I'm going to get my never mind I'm like so I'm like this is going to be crazy like sorry Mom too hot to handle like get in the coke out yeah I was going to say get the toe out oops not my fault I didn't know this was too hot to handle and so then I'm like the whole time they're like making us do all these like I don't know we get to the Villa everything's like wonderful and there's like good-looking people and then all of a sudden uh like one of the girls is like I'm in a relationship what I'm like you didn't say that on a dating show hold on now you just keep it to yourself find out exactly like the rest of the people perfect match um so I was like uh wait this is weird like open relationship Vibes whatever I'm not going to knock that and then uh then Alex comes on and Alex one of my best friends he's gay and so I'm like okay Alex is gay there's got to be another gay guy like this is too hot maybe there's like we're mixing we're inter mingling and he's the only gay guy so now I'm like wait what show is this so now I'm just confused I'm like wait is this actually the show that they were telling us about and then all of a sudden they're like you guys are sleeping in the woods and there was this Scottish guy named Stu who was like the uh he was like the um what's it called I don't know he just like was the overseer of the show the safety guy like he was in the military Jesus and he was like there's going to be scorpions there's going to be snakes down in Camp and so I was just like to the producers like hey can I like Boogie like can I get out of here like I don't want to do this wait is it scorpions and snakes great I guess there are damn shout out to Scottish man there was a couple snakes there oh um no they were like in the no but uh but uh yeah no but um yeah then we were in uh we were in Camp with it like the first night and I'm like what am I doing down here what's yeah what's the premise of the show okay yeah let me let me explain it right so there's uh it's kind of like if you guys have read Lord of the Flies right uh it's all about like hierarchy and social hierarchy and like there's a villa and then there's uh there's a campground or a campsite right and it's like the dichotomy of two of them and then the thing is like you're at Camp your whole goal is to get into the villa and then if you're in the Villa you want to stay in the Villa but there's not necessarily challenges like there are challenges but the thing is like you want to win over the uh the hearts of your peers and you want to be voted into the villa and you want to stay in the Villa what yeah and you can only win the prize at the end if you're in the Villa so I [ __ ] spent the most time at Camp which is [ __ ] and uh I hated every second of it but I mean at the end of the day like it was sentimental and like you know what like not to sound too cliche but like the Fondest Memories that you made were a camp and that's when people were opening up and getting vulnerable like when you're in the Villa yeah like you're eating like T-bone steaks and you're on like the catamaran but like you're not really necessarily like doing much it's just like not really you're not really bonding and you know me I love to bond you're a big Bond I love to bond they call me so how did you get into the house so everyone was just like we really like this guy let's vote him in was there anyone that stayed in the camp the whole time yeah there were well we had people come in halfway through that I think Kelo didn't make it into the Villa but that was about it sorry um but yeah no I was being selfless in the beginning I'm like this is going to [ __ ] pay off for me cuz I'm being so selfless I ended up just getting [ __ ] in the end yeah that's usually how it works well the funny thing is is like we're all the this like voting not to harp on it too much but Kelo was like you miss your family brother I'm like yeah I [ __ ] missed my family and he's like yeah like I get it too and so then Kelo had to vote someone to go home and he's like I know you miss your family so I'm going to do the right thing and send you home what I'm like dog we're all going home on the same playing regardless what are you doing we all miss that I was like yeah my mom loves me but she'll love me a lot more if I come home with [ __ ] 250k yeah the whole family would love you so then yeah so that's how you got out yeah and I like couldn't be mad cuz he thought he was doing the right thing and I was like but like if he misses family's brother self eliminate that's what I was saying yeah so it was kind of crazy yeah that's a bit disrespectful come on Kel um how did you get cost on that show did you did someone DM you you yeah I mean like I think it was like an Instagram DM and uh I was with uh my girlfriend at the time and uh did you break up with it cuz you're like it's it was Co and then we broke up they like pushed the show off until 2022 so we were split up by then and they're like hey we're back we're we're doing the thing and I'm like oh yeah I'm so ready and wait you were meant to film in Co we were meant to film in 2021 but or end of 2020 20 early 2021 but there were still restrictions in that uh they pushed it back so we ended up filming 2022 Jesus crazy I know that's what and then how did the process for perfect match come around did they just shoot you a text like hey yeah they shot me a text and they were like hey are you single I was like as H ever be like it doesn't matter the rest of them they're like do you want to get your Johnson out this time I'm like hell yeah I do hell yeah brother well speaking of perfect match do you want to talk about what happened with you and Elise and why you left the entire show and left all of us there to deal let's get right into it yeah I know right because it would have been weird watching the finale like seeing everyone like get angry and [ __ ] I know and then I was just be like right there being like what's going on I mean like like I said I feel like I've not talked circles around it but I've like alluded to it but yeah I mean there's obviously plot lines that people don't see and I think that was like the big thing like the end of that night right the recoupling right I'm going into that what's it called the situation with the lease and I'm thinking in the back of my mind like typical me like I'm not really a relationship guy so I'm like I really need to like iron down my feelings for lease like tell her how much I like care about her yeah ended up getting kind of a shitty little Dub with the music there when I'm trying to get real vulnerable that was crazy was between the toe and that I'm like hey bambo bambo so I was like and so then she was like and so that's what I thought I needed to do and you could see at the end she was like this is too serious and I'm like oh yeah all right my bad whatever my just let me go for a lap let me walk around the pool and then it was like me and you and like we weren't talking to anyone I think it was like that was my effort to show at least that like I wasn't interested in anyone else so me and you were just like crying on the roof together and like holding each other I was [ __ ] my pants yeah yeah there was a lot of fluids coming out of every angle yeah every angle every hole that was coming out well not every hole maybe that was later in the night um so then I'm up there and then all of a sudden Chris comes up to me and Chris is like saw Le talking to Brighton like I'm sorry man I'm like what the [ __ ] like what yeah right so so then I'm like all right whatever so then all of a sudden she calls me over and that happens and so like At first I was like the only thing I was like kind of hurt by was like I wish you just told me earlier cuz I would have coupled up with someone else yeah but it was just like I got blindsided and then uh I like went up to Holly after I mean like what you guys don't see too is like me and Holly had had like a lot of conversations even from like her first night in the villa and then the whole Cote day I feel like we were talking and then I was like had a few tequila pineapples in me I was like hey Holly like you want a couple up and she's like no like that's not really like too endearing like maybe like have a bit of a more sensible approach so I like all right Holly said that so I was like Hey like let's sit down and so I was like hey Holly like I think you're wonderful like you know we've had you know numerous uh conversations with a lot of substance and I'd like to like explore this and then she was like yeah for sure like do you want to make out it's like do I want to make out yeah I want to make out so then me and Holly start making out and then I just get screamed at like I get like yelled at wait what yeah so then all of a sudden I was in the bathroom [ __ ] [ __ ] and vomiting my brains out with this food poisoning so then I was like confused more than anything and so then all of a sudden me and Holly are making out and then we go to walk upstairs and then uh Elise is like visibly and vocally upset about it and so starts talking to me and Holly about it and so then I'm like confused and me and Holly are both kind of confused we're like we you made your match like you kind of just got to own it and so now I'm drunk and Confused I'm like wait what is going on right now and so then uh Holly says the same thing she's like you made your you made your decision yada yada ya and so then Elise starts getting like a little bit vulnerable with me and I'm like okay let's have a conversation about it and now I think that like I don't know there's going to be like some sort of like uh maybe she said there was like a laps of judg or something like I don't know I think that she's going to you know maybe tell me something that like I would want to hear yeah and that just doesn't happen I just get like yelled at and I think we both agreed I think that she said that like I was her number one and well clearly know yeah and that's what I was saying she's like I may we want to explore like different options I'm like it's late in the game so if we're going to explore different options I feel like you know this is going to go like two different ways and like call me like romantic like too like I know people are going to have hesitations about getting into relationships but like I want to be with someone who like wants to be with me from the jump and doesn't want to have any reconsiderations about it and so I think she ended up saying to me like I was her number one and she wanted to explore different options and then I was like well you were my number one uh and I told you like I was either going to leave this Villa like with you by my side or by myself and I think we just didn't get anywhere with that and she was just like upset with the whole she's like well now we can't cuz at you and Holly and I was like did you already matched up dog I felt like I was like doing something wrong and then I felt like it was my fault and I'm like I'm an idiot and then I just like walked off and I don't know if it like dude it was just like crazy and so then like I just had like the [ __ ] weirdest night of my life and then yeah I went back and producers asked me if I wanted to go on a date with someone else and I was like not really like so and then we had another conversation about it and yeah yeah I mean like I was like kind of like upset that night too and then the producers were like you maybe we shouldn't do the finale with you and I was like whatever you guys think like yeah I'm like I'm not going to say much of the finale like I really don't care like I'm not going to get spiteful because someone didn't want me so yeah well you should have well that's that's the toughest thing as well is I think that this was such a mental Challenge on everyone yeah because there was just it was so so much drama and anxiety in this show especially if you've never done a dating show before yeah like I would have been confused I would have been like I I was [ __ ] up myself like I was destroyed so I kind of imagine being your first dating show and it being fun it was crazy it was nuts like I thought it was going to have the most fun time and like going back they're like do you regret anything like no but I do wish that I was with someone that was just like just got on well with and I wasn't just like constantly being like what you know what is going on what's going on give me a cuz I'm [ __ ] L okay okay well fast forward yeah you just moved to LA I'm here baby you grew up in Boston I did how was that it's crazy it's yeah I mean me and you had a little bit of fun in Boston oh [ __ ] yeah we did some good girls over there oh yeah that was a crazy night um no it's it's it's different man they're two different worlds so it's new to me like everything's new to me and I think Boston people too are just AIG more blunt and like authentic and not like even like a bad way too they could tell you they like if they don't like you they don't like you and out here it's different so what is your like one year plan like have have you got like do you want to be here for the next year or is there anything that I mean yeah man I want to strike the iron while it's hot and try to get my face out there you know in front of as many people as I can I feel like I got a good personality that people might you know be attracted to so yeah guys if you haven't seen his [ __ ] Tik Tok this so red I think I was watching my you're talking about like Drake and Kendrick about like like are you team Drake or team Kendrick you're like I'm team peace and love love and kindness baby I was like where the [ __ ] well the funny thing is is my dad was like Hey I was on Tick Tock and I saw your Tik toks and you were like touching yourself and making weird eye contact like like that that's my only B plug it up but um but he's like like what is that and so I was like yeah it's you just wouldn't get it he's like yeah stop stop doing that Dad I'm like Dad Dad you know this is my dream not your dream get off Tik why is Dad on Tik Tok Dude Dad's on I could only dude I wish I could tell you what's on his for you page we got a similar taste oh [ __ ] okay um are you dating now like are you seeing anyone I know you said you going on a date with this Superstar next week no that's crazy that would said I wouldn't say that no but it is nuts like I went from like just like bottom of the barrel hinge dates in Boston and then like all of a sudden the show comes out and there's these people that I used to watch on TV or like listen to their music like growing up and like not to sound too conceited but like they're in my DMs and like now I'm out here and like I'm going on a pretty crazy date Thursday with someone that's like it's like it blows my mind but like yeah it's I think like but for right now like I'm just exploring the field and you know kind of just navigating well yeah I think right now especially just being fresh to the industry it's probably best to not fall well that's my problem I just fall in love with everyone and I do yeah we're the same way you're better than me yeah don't compare yourself to me you're way better no but we do no I'm saying you're you're the same way that you fall for people quick I fall for people quick it's annoying cuz I get so excited about the future then I'm like oh we could go here we could do that go to Australia and then maybe we'll buy a house together you pitch your whole life with someone when you meet them I'm literally like insan dude this is what I do I was like look at the farm this is where I grew up you want to come and then when I tell my boy like oh you showed to the farm like okay yeah you're definitely too quick it's too quick that's my problem is I serve on the farm and then I'm like here's my mom should we call her like what are we doing and then it's like well I've known you for two hours yeah exactly exactly what are you doing um being on reality TV do you think it's changed the way that you date are you more cautious um are you a freaky boy I'm a freaky boy I'm that's what I'm saying like I feel like I've always been like that people like always say to me too they're like I think I'm pretty like not quiet but like people get this like weird vibe about me and then they meet me and they're like you're actually pretty tolerable like you actually like pretty tolerable you're not you're not a the bench box yeah you're pretty tolerable but no yeah I think people are surprised I mean like when I bring girls back I mean whoa I never do that that's crazy I mean who would do stuff like that not me but I like to like I hate small talk so we'll be like talk at all no I'll just be like what's your deepest darkest secret I don't know what this has to do about reality TV but um when she asked what your favorite book was yeah that's crazy that was a crazy that was the the I got a terrible edit there too they're like look at this dumb idiot who said good night Moon I said another book and I don't even want to say it because it'll make me sound so conceited wait what is it cuz I don't even know what good night moon is I think explain good night moon is like it's a staple of children's books in America it's a staple you get read good night moon at least one time in your life as a as a child in uh in America in the states and maybe Holly's just not from the states maybe she's from Canada and she didn't get it I think she is but that was like the dry humor that I had and uh it just wasn't I don't think my humor was received well in the TV show what was book you said it's it was like a Hemingway book and I was like wait Justin we're on reality TV right now let's not drop the Hemingway so I was like you know what it's probably good night Moon yeah good night Moon all right you little porcupines before we get into it though I want to know would you go back and do surviving Paradise again or would you go back and do perfect match again if you got asked to go back to do both those shows and what would you do different I wouldn't do survive in Paradise I when it was was over I was done with it like I said I love my time there but I was so over it uh perfect match yeah [ __ ] yeah I do like a little Redemption Arc I mean I've been in the gym with it too like I've been like slutten it up on Instagram yeah I have been slutting it up on Instagram I've been casting my rod hoping to get a couple bites but um yeah no I I I think I I think I definitely would I think this time going into it too I needed you know no slight to a leas but I need to find someone who matches my energy I feel like I wasn't necessar myself I was too Stern I was too serious look it was also slim pickings I think on both sides you know the girls were saying that as well like oh you know that options were slim pickings from the guys are you serious we there was a wonderful bunch of us yeah we were great people and we were all over the place yeah it was a big vast majority there was there was a lot of variation no but I know what you mean though like f there wasn't like yeah volume wise there wasn't too many people yeah I feel like if there was more people like rotating every day absolutely I would be stressed out but also like if yeah if there was more like opportunity to find someone that's more your Vibe it would have been better I feel like also you got done Dirty by me um by not coming in earlier if I knew you were funny it would have been no I know that was the funniest thing though too like the first night I feel like I feel like me and St were talking about it too he was like when you first came in I hated you I was like you know what St I [ __ ] hated you too yeah well that was the thing I think on for girls and guys when you people would come in the house you want to hate them because you're like okay this person could steal my spot they could be more fun yeah naturally yeah yeah and so like everyone was always a little bit like on edge and a little bit insecure and then it takes a little bit of time to like break down that barrier I know when Chris came in like everyone was heated cuz number one he had a four skin and number two like he's a beautiful man it's like take that thing out of here yeah get that [ __ ] little wizard hat out of my face but you know what's funny though me and St were about this too though like call this like Bros just bro out but like Mo 99% of the relationships that you're in in life are going to end right and so I'm still grateful that I made friendships because the friendships that I made on the show are going to be [ __ ] forever as sentimental as that sounds but um yeah I mean like that was the big walk away from it though too so like I wasn't too stressed out about losing losing a match or two honestly which is rare cuz I remember telling like some of the other people uh on the show is like you're going to see these people talk [ __ ] about you and you're not going to want to be friends with them like I think that's why like me and D were kind of standoffish from everyone until the show came out cuz I was like I know this person's going to talk [ __ ] Harry to be honest dude coming onto a show like this like I've told you before like I wanted to hate you not like I wanted to hate you but I expected to hate you yeah but I just after I met you bro I couldn't and like even coming after it now like I I do take like I do take into consideration like all the things people do and like you've done so much for me and like I'd never take the low hanging fruit and be like yeah that guy stinks and he treats women awfully but uh obviously it just go it's subjective to the relationship but yeah I can say that our friendship I can't say anything bad about it so well not yet just wait till I start gas okay okay okay anyway so now we're gonna get into a segment you guys know it you guys love it it's called if it looks like a red flag um it's probably sitting on this couch um no but uh it's a segment where you guys submit your scenarios and we're going to give it a red green or beige flag if you want to submit your situation please go to boyfri material. amwell.com and put it in have you seen the segment no you haven't you don't watch the show it's okay yes I do you I've seen the segment what was your favorite episode uh the last one hell yeah so the first situation are you ready you want to hold the flags yeah I might just try lift them up well you got to explain it there's audio listeners as well driving little cars yeah that that's how I listen to it enjoying life okay my girlfriend won't pick up my phone calls but will only respond to texts when she's out with her male best friend red beige or green help a brother out I don't know how to tackle this one wait Brother come on wait what my girlfriend won't pick up my phone calls but will only respond to text when she's out with her male best friend that's not your girlfriend bro that's not your girlfriend that's his girlfriend her male best friend wait that that just that's throwing my mind for like so he's she's not answering until she's with her male best friend yeah that is weird why would you only the answer um that's a firm red flag that's a I'm giving that a red flag like a giant red flag are they just Clowning him they're like look at this stupid idiot yeah look at this let's mess with him a little bit this Losa trying to Cole his girlfriend when she's out with his male best friend and then she's alone and she's like yeah I'm not answering him yeah I'm by my yeah that's weird she belongs to the streets yeah come on brother please you need to address that yeah how would you fix this situation if that's your girlfriend what are you going to do Justin I'm giving her an ultimatum hey respond to me uh when you're not with your male best friend or this is over yeah o well respond to me 247 that's what I was going to say like every time that you're not with your mail I was respond when you're with him as well or I'm going to go find a girl best friend and only respond to you when I'm with her yeah let's do that don't get mad get even even the playing field [ __ ] okay number two is it a red flag if your boyfriend backs out on being your wedding date to go to a family Barbecue it tells you three days before no everyone loves barbecue I'm just kidding that is the biggest red flag ever yeah why why does he don't want to go to the wedding and for a family Barbecue you can do that every day if you want I love barbecues though though so I know that it might be a tough situation but you got to bite the bullet and go to the wedding also wedding Instagram picks so good in a I just went I didn't get one I messed up big time you're a goose I am a goose you're a silly goose did you have that's a red flag yeah yeah you went to a wedding and you didn't take a photo no I did well they're not good though none of them were I was like 12 high noons in and uh oh yeah yeah damn I looked pretty bloated flushed sweaty I mean some people are into that though you you'd be surprised hit my DM after you see this wait so you're going to give this a red flag yeah that's a red flag I friend I'd like to say that things are subjective to the situation I mean what if this is the third vac or the third wedding uh in this past month true yeah what if she just like a a wedding babe I'd love to go to the wedding but dad's throwing some glizzies on the grill and I can't miss that and what if Dad is got a terminal illness and his time is limited I mean throw that in the mix too it's subjective I got some terminal glizzies that I need to put down um have fun at the wedding though yeah I need to knock her back with Papa that's also a sick Instagram you and your dad at the grill yeah just grilling it out spending my last few days with dad before he goes before he goes yeah rip pops okay the for the information that we do know which is not a lot if you want to tell us more about this situation would be great yeah but I think that's a red flag if it's your boyfriend that's your wedding date and a family Barbecue like no one loves their family that much like come on like you going to spend time with your family well I would like to see my family I haven't seen them in years but I think like I wouldn't want to spend more than a week there yeah no I understand I mean like that's like when I went to this wedding we're like oh we're so excited everyone's going to be together and we were just [ __ ] fighting for like the majority of it really yeah not fighting but just like bickering you got sisters then yeah I do only sisters no I have an older brother too oh [ __ ] how wait how many siblings uh older brother twin sister younger sister damn that's a big family yeah I got four half sisters do you really yeah I feel really bad my sister Sarah text me and you know talking about you know how old she is now and whatever else and I was like d did I miss your birthday and she's like yeah how are my birthday is like a week after yours oh and red flag yeah no I gotta say I got to say I'm the worst with birthdays on the planet if it's not on my calendar I'm fully going to forget like so you got to throw it on the calendar that's that's the cheat code Farah please put every birthday in my in my calendar no like I swear to God I was coming back from Vegas yeah when I was with dom it was his [ __ ] birthday on Sunday he comes into my room I fully forgot cuz I know he told me also I can Google it I can figure out when his birthday is it's like Sunday morning I'm like packing to get to the airport and he's like should we go like have a nice breakfast whatever else no I was like I was like no I just ordered chicken tenders like I got to go to the airport thanks bro and he's just like okay cool and then obviously you know Dom's a sweetheart he's not going to like kick up a f then I'm on the plane back and Farah my amazing everything she was like hey harry um did you say happy birthday to Dom and I'm like [ __ ] so I come back freaking out I buy him I spent a lot of I bought him like Rick Owen shoes like this whole new outfit all this crazy stuff I was going to buy him a Rolex that's how [ __ ] sad I was at [ __ ] birthday up no but that was the Redemption though it it's not intentional that's what you know what I mean like yeah so yeah I got to get better situation number three so my fiance who I have a baby with is going to Vermont for a work event he'll be there for his 21st birthday and is allowed to bring a guest he told me he doesn't want me to come because his friends want to get him wasted and just doesn't want me to see that is that a red flag 21 having a baby in a fiance I'm very jealous that's crazy when I was 21 I was uh nowhere near uh raising uh yeah no nowhere near their capability of raising another person I was 21 when I did to what to handle and you think you could have a child I was trying that's no absolutely not I wasn't pulling out anyway um yeah Part of Me Okay so so everything screams red flag about that but he's in Vermont I mean how [ __ ] wild can you get in Vermont what is Vermont Vermont's like a very like uh it's a just the the state itself is very rural it's yeah it's it's a lot of like it's mountains and farmland and maple syrup Bernie the politician yeah he's like theator ver he's like very really shout out Vermont I got big buny I don't know if there's much to do in Vermont outside of like Burlington Vermont um but I mean this is what I'll say this is what I'll say um when I have a girlfriend let alone a fiance I feel like they've seen me in all my yeah every every angle every angle so why is he do they not go out much okay I'm giving it a beige flag you want to know why because I feel like yeah do you want to hold it yeah I want to hold that I haven't held it in a minute we've had some time off why you touched don't like that why wouldn't I you're getting it ni you get a little flicky um no okay what are we doing I'm going to give it a beige flag because here's my thing I understand I think being with your fiance probably should bring her yep but if she's also pregnant true she might it might be a bit tough for her to travel she might want to be at home and relax put her feet up and just keep growing that little [ __ ] human yep but I also think that in relationships it's good to have your own personal lives yeah like go and have fun with the boys whatever whatever else but also like come back and like everything's all good like she should go fun with her girls whatever else I think that maybe he wants to just have fun with the lads One Last Time one last hurah before this baby squirts out yep and then you know squirts out of the oven and I like that's how I'm taking it yeah I think no I think you rais a good a good point I think in order for this to work out and to be a green or a beige flag he needs to be an effective Communicator throughout the night hell yeah and he needs to be like hey we're going here like we're doing this if I don't answer you this is this is what I'll you know this is what I'll be doing but uh yeah if it was Vegas it's red flag but yeah exactly we're at to nightclub right now uh I met this girl who is really goodlooking I wouldn't do anything with her but she's just going to come to my room and we're going to have a conversation and that's it yeah these clothes are getting really itchy too so I okay question okay number four what are some red flags that a guy is leading you on because I must have missed them for a second time and I don't realize until I end up being heartbroken I think when a guy is leading you on he only wants to hang out at night he only he doesn't care about being in public he doesn't put any effort sounds like me in some situations I've been there where I'm like you know what I think I've put this person in a relationship bucket or just someone that I want to have like fun with for a minute and I feel like the red the red flags are maybe being dismissive not being great at communicating but also not spending like quality time together and doing actual [ __ ] I think that's I think that's it I think the encompassing point is if someone wants you they'll let you know that like you'll know that they want you like you said like it's if you're getting late night texts if he's only communicating through like Snapchat uh if he's not taking out on dates uh red flag it's not but you're right though I mean Taylor Swift has that line um all they ever what is it guys uh all they ever see is a one night or a wife it's true it's well I both sides when you look at yeah when you look at uh yeah for sure only seen one night but when you you can back me up here when you're talking to a girl you know if they're relationship um material yeah or if they're uh just a little fun material a little bit of fun and there's nothing wrong with either way but yeah and yeah so we all like to have fun we do all like to have fun I think the biggest thing is you just got to be transparent yeah and I've been doing that now too not to bring it back to myself but I'm like hey I'm single I want to have fun uh this probably won't lead anywhere yeah which sucks I've been trying to do that as well just be over honest be like hey I think you're the best ever but I'm not I'm going to sabotage this yeah exactly I'm not ready yet I'm going to do something that's probably going to annoy you exactly I'm going to put this I'm going to put the ball in your court right now yeah okay so now we are getting ready for your questions again if you want to submit your questions uh go to boyfriend material.on well.com get them in Justin and I are going to answer them right now whether relationship questions life questions or just just questions about anything in general and we're experts on it all um so please submit your question so the first one's from Sydney what up Sydney shout out Australia so I'm back home for the summer from college there's a really small pool of guys in my hometown basically everyone I went to high school with well there's this one guy who's a year older than me and we've both changed a lot since high school oh I hope so we've always known each other but we started to text a month ago and recently hung out twice the first time we hung out I met his grandma and we talked for hours and it was really good I had butterflies after we hugged at the end the second time we hung out I didn't feel as many butterflies and it felt more platonic and he didn't make a move how do I tell the difference between a platonic friendship and if you're actually starting to get feelings with someone oh ah this is hard for me to answer because I feel like when I'm in a relationship or when I'm in a situation that I like someone I move slow I'm like I don't want to mess things up really I'm the opposite I'm like let me just [ __ ] this up get me in there me in there um yeah I don't know what do you think well how yeah I don't know meeting grandma on the first date is crazy shout out grandma Yeah shout out Grand uh I think if you don't have the butterflies on the second date it could be a number of things maybe he's got some [ __ ] going on maybe he's stressed whatever else I know when I've been on a date and I've got [ __ ] going on in my brain I kind of necessarily like shut down a little bit so maybe you know benefit of the doubt maybe he's got some stuff going on I would say wait till the third date and see what happens and see if it is a little bit more than what you think I think usually a good sign is if they're telling you to come hang out and it's with a bunch of friends whatever else it's most likely just a friendship and it's not going to go from there but you guys have known each other for a while since high school and you're in your hometown for a little bit why not just like try and ride that pony and like get on and you know ride it that's what I'm saying [ __ ] up huh [ __ ] the saddle just jump right on the horse um I would say the same thing too I'd say use your words I feel like it all boils down to communication it's like what are you in this for baby yeah I'm trying to uh trying to have a little bit of some I'm trying to play to hide the uh hide the old salami stick with you what do you think what do you got you up to that or you know it's like when you're home for Thanksgiving uh after like college break and everyone's in the hometown and it's like hey me and you are here yeah let's take advantage of the moment but also maybe he's thinking that this is my wife that's why he huged her maybe he's planning his trip to Vermont and he's already thinking about how he's going to text her yeah hey hey I had a few I'm going to have a few brews this weekend with the guys with Benny can you hang out with Grammy for me Bernie and the boys I yeah I think honestly just comes down to communication and just also being open and honest like hey I had butterflies I thought it was amazing I just think it comes down to communication and uh just being open and honest communicate say hey sausage I had butterflies I enjoyed it I love hanging out with you I you know want to see how you're feeling and if it's more of a friendship whatever else or you want to have a little bit of summer fun yeah I think that's a great Point yeah so I think it it also varies from situation to figure out if it's a friendship or lovers I know well we'll round it and I'll say don't ever feel too embarrassed to ask someone no matter how early it is like what their intentions are yeah that's I think that's a great Point yeah right yeah no harm in that all right next one is from Abby me and my boyfriend have been living together for almost 3 years now but I found out he was sleeping with his step sister for a couple of months wow I confronted him and tried to break up with him many times but he won't let me leave him what should I do wait was he [ __ ] his step sister while you guys wereing I've SE I've seen a couple videos like that yeah yeah I know my way that's all right that's that's [ __ ] weird I don't care how far that relationship goes if I'm dating someone that used to [ __ ] their step sibling I'm like this is no this is not going to work out this is weird well especially for a couple months now and and like you guys have been together for 3 years and he won't let you leave it kind of sounds like you're trapped and that's a little bit abusive yeah that does I mean this guy give it to him master manipulator he's coercing his step sister into sleeping with him and then making you stay yeah this guy should run for office we need him in there yeah he's a good liar um okay what should you do honestly I would say pack up your [ __ ] yeah get all your [ __ ] packed up get it in boxes just like at the end of the day it's cheating right so like you can't be with that person um and I also understand that if you're living together obviously you probably split in rent it's probably a little bit easier to to live like that if you have a friend nearby maybe just spend a week at their place or go back home spend some time back home get your feelings your thoughts and move on from there and see if maybe you want to just give it another shot or just say that's [ __ ] weird don't [ __ ] your step [ __ ] yeah I think that's that's the the bottom line yeah get out of that situation sometimes you get like Stockholm syndrome and you start believing in like whatever your partner saying yeah and then you get and then like hindsight's 2020 so I'd say distance yourself next one's from Taylor how do you handle seeing someone you had a one night stand with in public or if I'm constantly seeing them at the gym but really really want nothing to do with them or if there's multiple of them in one place Taylor how many Taylor what's going on Taylor how many people are you having one night stands with Taylor you little silly goose what how would you handle that I feel like I'm fine if it was one night's stand I'm chill like I don't really care I'm like you know we had fun that was great how are you how you doing like I'm gonna be nice but like if it's not going anywhere if it was just a one-off thing yeah and we're just doing a little like Honky Tonk I think yeah I think it's I feel like I've seen one night stands in public and I just kind of like laugh it off yeah maybe then they become too night stands yeah I just think just play it off just be nice polite yeah I think look at the humor in the situation like oh look at that but if they want something more effective communication yeah just Dr be like hey hey that was a one night stand and nothing else yeah get out of my [ __ ] gym stop following to the gym you weirdo [ __ ] prick yeah I'll throw a dumbbell at your head you're on the treadmill behind me every time I'm on the treadmill in front of you and I'm fting yeah exactly I know it's fat but it's stinking up stinking the gym up I don't know if that helped anyway Savannah okay this is super embarrassing but I shat in a guy's bed I really like him but now it's super awkward how do I recover from this Savannah we all got fluids baby yeah what leads you to [ __ ] in his bed were you drunk was it a little bit of anal play yeah huh Bell a little bit of a beefy [ __ ] chalupa huh what you what are you getting into huh what what the [ __ ] would you do if a girl came over shat your bed and disappeared like Batman I mean I don't here's the thing I'm going to try to be I would be disgusted okay but that that's me cuz I don't like goes then poop like P doesn't freak me out poop freaks me out really not really but like does yeah like if it's in my presence like poop freaks me out even when like my sister's dog shits like near me I'm like bro come on don't do that I know you're an animal but like keep that [ __ ] away from me go outside she said shat though so that makes me think like it was a little bit of a a watery situation yeah maybe she was like sneezed and it just kind of like squirted out oh sorry when I really like someone I sh I shat I [ __ ] I shat what's the past tense of oh no that is theast tense yeah yeah when I really like someone I yeah I shat I shat my pants yeah here's here's my take on it I personally would be a little bit weirded out if a girl came over shat my bed I would look I think it's the after math like if she like jumps up cleans the sheets everything's all good then I'm like okay you know what she didn't mean to do that but if she's like a [ __ ] and that's like her brand where she's going to come over and [ __ ] everywhere be like oh come on shitty ass I don't want you around here yes but I feel like if it's an honest mistake you know you're eating Taco Bell you say a really funny joke and she giggles too hard and shats her pants then I'm like you know what it's my fault I shouldn't have made you laugh so hard I was going to say who who are we to hold judgment everyone shits I sh yeah exactly I think I've done that before I don't know if I've done it I've had someone pee my bed I've had someone when we were cuddled up together pissed all over me was that hot I was like baby are you squating wait were you drunk we went out and we were she must have got drunk and then she blamed it on me and she was like you peed and I was like baby that wasn't me that was you and then she got really embarrassed by it yeah how did you recover did you guys date she's like let's go can we shower I was like no I want you right here right now yeah like you showered me you showered me last night I got another shower in mind all right no we yeah um [Applause] sorry yeah I look I've pissed the bed a few times I don't know I would just we all have fluids and that's the end of the line and you shouldn't be ashamed of them I think like you said if you're proactive you just like you're not just like oops I [ __ ] in your bed oh surprise surprise what are we going to yeah no look at that Dookie maybe like help clean up maybe apologize and like I said if if he's a good guy he'll be pretty understanding yeah if I was there in a go was like oh I'm super embarrassed like I didn't mean to shat like this is really sad I would be like I get it I understand just like never do that again I was going to say that if it happens to second time You' be like what's up cocka pants like yeah yeah you got I what's going on yeah you got IBS little leaky exactly which is fine yeah which is we'll do it you just got to let me know all right next one's from MF wait mafa MAF MAF MAF you're the how bad is it to slide through someone LinkedIn messages what this guy doesn't have any other social media what should I say why the look at this wait you in LinkedIn yes a mother reached out to me on LinkedIn to set me up with her sister I mean set me up with her daughter so LinkedIn is crazy linkedin's read those messages wait what was the pr do you want to read it out or no I can kind of it's um dude that's this is like six paragraphs yeah that's a lot that's a little WS I can't read that much I hope this is the bottom line I hope you don't find that I'm too strange contacting you she would kill me but she does think that you were she yeah I don't want to a out too much but she the mom's trying to set me up with the daughter on LinkedIn now do I think that's weird no I kind of [ __ ] respect it that's hot I do I was kind of popping a little bit of whoa okay yeah um what's going on what am I feeling right now linkedin's crazy you're not on LinkedIn cuz you were never in like a professional well not like that dude like yeah I wasn't you were I was in tech sales yeah the thing about LinkedIn you can see it's like Tik Tok if you have profile views on you can see when someone likes your or views your profile oh so there was this girl at my last work oh my God we were likeing we were looking at each other's profiles like she would look at my profile like 1 a.m. I was like do you want to [ __ ] me yeah what is going on L do you want to [ __ ] me do you want to come over and buy some tech yeah so then I would look back at her profile and then she would like look back at mine and then I'd see her in the office and the tension was crazy like it was nuts yeah I was like dude that's office tensions is nuts did you show your Tech sale oh yeah I had uh I had some mid-range storage options for her mid-range right nothing Enterprise size did anything come out of that yeah we hooked up and then we go LinkedIn like yeah we hooked up but then the thing is when you hook up with someone in an office setting just don't do it because then you have to see them the next day like sorry like I didn't really didn't want anything but I didn't mean to shut your bed but uh LinkedIn I'd say it's a power move I mean if you're not creepy about it well so she wants to slide in and see the messages on there I don't think there's any harm in that how bad is it to slide through someone's messages I I think like text messages Instagram DMS all that stuff whatever but LinkedIn I was like I don't really care but at the end of the day if you're already snooping on someone's [ __ ] it's probably not a good sign yeah um I don't know man I I feel like when people say there's a will there's a way yeah so if there's something there I don't know what's the harm in checking it yeah yeah trust you got all right next one's from a first of all huge fan of this podcast so far we love you huge fan of you how do you recommend meeting new people when you're 26 that is not dating apps or going out clubbing also if you meet someone how do you start hanging out with them in person if only you have time at night but you don't want it to become just sex buddies damn we kind of [ __ ] a you out before yeah [ __ ] um okay you're not on dating apps you're not going clubbing I think and this is something I've never done but there's a lot of run clubs run clubs look really fun they look so fun and everyone's fit fantastic they up and moving but obviously you say can only kind of hang out at night I think like you don't have to go to the clubs like even like a nice dinner spot or like a nice bar put yourself in predicaments where you might meet someone that's similar to you like say if you like I don't know say you like jazz go to a jazz club at night and [ __ ] uh really just absorb the uh the environment around you or if you like [ __ ] I don't know comedy comedy go to a comedy club you'll find magic and there you go you already have something in common and you already have something to talk about too I I think with only having time at night is also a bit of a a tough cookie to kind of bounce around I think again it comes back to like overc communicating like hey you know I know we just met at the comedy club I've got a very busy schedule I'm not trying to discredit and I also don't want to start off on the wrong foot so like I only have time at night but you can also plan activities at night as well so like maybe escape room or maybe like going to do like different things there's depending on which city you're in I'm sure there's a bunch of yeah crazy things you can do um but yeah I think the problem with kind of things just being like just sex buddies is if you're just hanging out at home and like that is nice that is always amazing but I think that if you want to find someone serious and you want to kind of be out there in the dating world you got to make sure that your dates and things that you're doing aren't just at home they're outside doing fun activities I feel like an escape room is probably the easiest one because you're working together you can really see if you hate each other feel like if I did a escape room with someone they would hate my guts cuz I'm just an idiot I'll just be over it yeah and I'd probably be like okay I'm too impatient like i' be way too competitive too really yeah it's competitive guy like what do you think about doing this you think this is a you shut up yeah no that's actually an awful idea yeah do you even want to leave this place do you want to get out of here was your idea final question from Christine hi Christine this obviously Christine that won the show yeah what would you do if your spouse's sibling doesn't like you what would what would you do if she started throwing your name out there whenever she's in trouble just to get a rise out of your spouse look here's here's my hot take you don't need anyone in your life that's going to give you bad energy whatever else sure it's your spouse's sibling but like I was talking to one of my friends recently and their mom doesn't like their girlfriend and I'm just like you don't owe anyone anything like if you and your partner are solid like you don't have to be around with with that person sure it makes Christmas a little bit awkward whatever else but like it's entirely in your control to be like you know what I don't owe this person a single thing this is this obviously sucks doesn't make me feel good but you know if you're trying your best and you're not really getting anywhere and The Sibling just [ __ ] sucks then it's just like well you don't know that person a single thing no I'd say stay like calm and respectable in your approach don't give them anything to say about you bad and it's the Golden Rule treat people how you want to be treated and if they're not treating you the way that you don't want to that obviously walk on eggshells a bit because it is your spouse's sibling but like like you said you don't have to entertain it you don't have to like exercise anything more so than you already have and then lastly I'd say like it's kind of on your partner to be the mediator in that situation yeah they should yeah they should be like hey cut that the [ __ ] out this is my P yeah this is is my person and uh you know what although you may not enjoy them or their presence like this is who I want to be with yeah they should as a as a as a spouse sibling siblings yeah feel like it's pretty serious if you're calling each other spouses is that is more than dating it does sound like there's that insinuates that there is a level of marri they married really oh yeah what the [ __ ] yeah this is wait this is my person and if you don't back off big bro there's going to be problems yeah hell yeah big bro hopefully it's not a step Travis has been hitting the gym too and if you keep treating him wrong I'm giving him full Reign to take you out yeah R KO you at the family barbecue barbecue exactly um well that is it guys I I hope you appreciated us answering your questions if you want to submit them you know I've said it four times already but boyfriend material. unw well.com please get them in because we love reading them the crazier ones the better so thank you so much for listening to another amazing episode of boyfriend material Justin you're a legend I love you so much you're my guy is there anything you want to plug no I mean just my socials you can catch me at Justin NADA throughout everything Instagram uh Snapchat what's the other one Tik Tok yeah catch me on catch me on LinkedIn too yeah get him on LinkedIn send him some messages send me some messages yeah if if you did enjoy Justin on the show please DM us let us know if you want him to come back because he won't come back unless you want or DM him just tell him you love him let him let him know if you want him on another show as well tell him uh anyway why did I say that make sure you follow us on Instagram and Tik Tok it's booy for material which is crazy I don't know how we got that handle on Tik Tok as well um but we'll see you back the same time next week and uh prepare for more crazy stories we got more crazy guests coming up you been asking for guests and there is some incredible people that are coming back in town we love you so much uh and I'll see you this time next week also I don't know should we do another giveaway let me know [Music]