Rings of Power season 2 episode 4 review and breakdown

episode 4 begins at the grey Havens with Eland and gadriel preparing to leave for oron Elon says oron is 150 leagues away which is just under 900 km on Horseback that would take weeks yet prepare for the show to make it 3 days Elon says they need an Archer and two Swordsmen and trusts gadriel to have sort it out yet remember all the Warriors gadriel knows passed through the missed teleportation vagina and left for valanor surely Elon who wasn't hunting Sauron for a thousand years and has been in lynon for centuries would better know the best local Warriors gadriel keeps snarkily referring to elrond as Commander as the writer's self-insert to make sure we know she was robbed of her command you you'll have to forgive me I foolishly thought they'd be riding horses to a regon but no they're running after a montage of the band of Eland running to oron they arrive at a destroyed Bridge Eland touches this destroyed Stone and deduces it was lightning but gadriel corrects him saying no earthly Force could do this and that it was the work of Saron this elf camir says they can go a slower Way North or take a southern shortcut through the mountains gadriel has a vision of a cave and says there's evil in the mountains does this sound familiar to any of of you the band of heroes must choose a safe slow route or a fast dangerous one specifically one character recommends the first route but another character says no there's evil there yeah this is just ripped from fellowship when gimle recommends traveling through Moria but gandal fears the balrog Elon overrules gadriel and orders them to go the fast South path gadriel protests but is ignored so obviously there's going to be an ambush and let me guess the music is going to go [ __ ] mental as though it's a surprise as they're leaving the broken bridge Elon chimps out at gadriel for taking counsil from The Ring even though her warning will shortly be proved accurate back to fake Gandalf and he's looking for his Hobbits which he washed away in a magic Sandstorm sadly I assume they have both survived this he meets a plot device goat which he follows to a farm and he meets Tom Bombadil [ __ ] hell Gandalf's star m gets blown out of his hands and he goofy chases it around as it's just out of his reach like the hand of God reaches down and gets the map impaled on a tree branch and Gandalf realizes this branch is his staff to be but the tree has other ideas and eats him yes just like Pippen is eaten in Fellowship Nori sadly still alive and completely unharmed awakes poppy is next to her and instead of checking to see if poppy is wounded Nori just yells at her to wake up the lepers appear and they jump off a small Ridge and meet this creature he's called Marry Mack in the script but introduces himself as nobody so [ __ ] cringe he banned his words with the witless fool Poppy and Poppy becomes smitten yeah no they're they're perfect for each other Nori jealous she's not the center of attention into Jacks and asks for water which she then accuses him of stealing from the lepers Mary Mac shits his pants at being racially profiled and stumbles away with nor and Poppy waddling along behind him poppy threatens to turn her lover to be over to the lepers and Mary Max submits and agrees to take them to his Hamlet we see the village and Nori makes a comment about halfs the legally distinct not Hobbit race living in holes holy [ __ ] please please don't tell me Nori is going to [ __ ] build Bag End but anyway this one the gun corrects Nori and says they're not half foots but stores Poppy defends her lover to be and the gun threatens to feed Poppy and Nori to the lepers it seems the murder cannibalism Tendencies of these not Hobbits is indeed a racial trend for all subcategories of Legally distinct not Hobbits this looks like a small community so I assume the incest Tendencies also carry over I mean just look at these freaks what like an elf bigger than that oh so he's a great big Grand Elf stop it stop it please I beg you holy [ __ ] you did not just have this [ __ ] gun to come up with Gandalf's name Nori says Gandalf is a wizard and all the hobbits freak out and the gun says the only wizard around these parts is the dark wizard with the [ __ ] D and W capitalized that's fake saran's official name in the show dark wizard the desert freak cannibal Hobbits then tie up Nori and Poppy and speaking of hopefully not saram man wear back to his lair the leper complains about Gandalf's power claiming two of his leper warriors were killed so it really was a contrivance that Nori and Poppy were unhe hurt again what the [ __ ] are these directors doing why are they making Kieran Hines act like this anyway fake Saran sends the lepers after the hobbits and says he'll take care of Gandalf personally back to the tree that ate Gandalf and Tom Bombadil rubs hard wood until the tree spits out Gandalf while Gandalf is bathing we hear Golder be's voice but she's never shown gandal asks Tom Bombadil where the woman is and Tom Bombadil claims there is no woman well what the [ __ ] why Gandalf heard her we heard her the script mentions her [ __ ] name why is Tom Bombadil lying Tom Bombadil then turns a map into bread and Gandalf's already forgotten Tom bumil's name he's also forgotten why he's looking for the stars and he claims he's searching for his friends but that's in reference to Nori and Poppy Gandalf then wants Tom to teach him magic and Tom agrees Gandalf then remembers he was following the Stars to find a staff and deduces he was really searching for Tom the lepers pass by and Tom Bombadil confirms fake Saran is an istar like Gandalf he really [ __ ] is Saran [ __ ] Vindicated once again my God Tom then says Saran is hungry for power and that saran needs a strong Ally like Sauron after an ad for Madam web we back to the band of Elon they find Barrows a barrow white briefly appears and they find the dead Messengers The Black elf is then grabbed by Magic chains and get sucked off into a cave and none of the elves going to save him they just stand there and listen to him get eaten the Barrow whites appear and a fight ensues but the whites are immune to their weapons elron finds weapons in a grave and now they slowly kill the Barrow whites and when I say slowly I mean their fight coreography is all slow and sloppy with the whites dead gadriel deduces Sauron woke them up yilda arandi and the southlanders then look for Theo arere mumbles through his dialogue then finds a dead man and wear back in pagia estd suggests they search further north ailda then turns the aqueduct on which also makes estd as wet as November Aranda then accuses estd of being sworn to Adar and when her lies go unbelieved she attacks Aranda but Aranda captures her with estd in Chains a silder and arand hunt for the other men sworn to AAR arand then deduces the O was not actually taken by men and then we got to the captured Theo Upp a tree captured by I guess ants as they hinted at R A silder and estr are walking through a swampy woods and a silder and a r get swallowed up by a swamp snake sadly neither dies and AA Cuts their way out of its stomach back to norri and Poppy and the gun conveniently knew of sadok and unti them the gunt then describes the Shire a hobbit Utopia that sadok's ancestor set out to find Nori then cries finally an actor in the show who can [ __ ] cry while she describes that sadok's ancestor never found the sh as Nori's Hobbit is still a nomadic group of cannibal murderers let me guess Nori is going to be the Shai's founder and the Builder of Bag End the lepers then arrive they slap the gun which is great and then leave and we're back to the band of Elon they've buried the black elf that no one tried to save and gadriel tries to convince Eland that her ring is not evil I thought they needed to hurry to Aon but here they are just standing by a lake gladel asks Elon to promise her that he'll put opposing souron above all elron says he won't make a promise to someone wearing a ring but then immediately swears to gadriel that he'll put opposing saon above all who wrote this [ __ ] scene back to ailda arere and estd because estd did not run away when arere and ailda was swallowed by the snake they uncuff her ailda goes to kiss her only for estd to immediately steal his sword before a silder can convince her to lower the sword estr gets her skull crushed by an ant M somehow I doubt she's actually hurt not tree beard complains about Orcs cutting down trees then a Rond Deere seduces the female int he also can't [ __ ] cry the shent holds ARA's hand and gives him a flower and then releases Theo estd wakes up and is completely fine but before she and a silder kiss a man sworn to AAR runs over cucking a silder and a silder tries to cry again for some reason the ants are completely fine to release the men sworn to AAR even though they were actually cutting down trees Theo and Ari reconcile and then we cut to an orc Army being watched by the band of Elon camir gets shot by a random Arrow but gad's ring heals him the band of elrond abandoned their quest to Aron to return to Lindon because apparently this orc Army is more of a threat than Sauron in oron and gadriel decides she alone will hold back the Orcs gadriel starts spinning and throwing knives she then shoots two fire arrows at once which actually would make them quite weak as the force dispersion along the string does not double so each arrow is shot with only half power the Orcs hit with the fire arrows then burst into [ __ ] flame again that wouldn't happen unless they were covered in flammable liquid but they're not gladel jumps on a horse the Orcs just watch her and then attack one at a time until she rides away but before she can escape the Mike ER trout troll chain whips her off the horse and AAR captures her and that's it easily the worst episode so far with the whole Grand Elf name [ __ ] and confirming Sans in the [ __ ] show the acting is still terrible the writing is still horrific and yes there were more law breaks this episode what did we oh yes valanor valanor in the law is a land mass that exists and you can sail there it is not a golden Mist teleportation vagina I mentioned San in my last video but I can do it again currently we're in the second age and San and the rest of the Wizards don't arrive in Middle Earth until like a thousand years into the third age and no Saran is not immediately evil he only becomes evil after he reads the law on the one ring and starts to yearn for its power I think the barow whites are the last law break for this episode again like the Wizards the barow whites don't appear until 1,400 years into the third age also Elon somehow knows their law that they can only be killed by their own weapons so yeah that's uh that's it till next week see you bye-bye see you bye-bye