Rings of Power Review OFFENSIVE Anti Entertainment

rings of power season 2 where the marketing campaign had Orcs going around in real life attacking civilians in the street even had that guy from Breaking Bad doing it personally though I like the marketed campaign as that is exactly what it's like to watch the show or live in London there's not to say the episode was without humor though largely centering around sauron's goof home as he was falling down a cliff I wet myself laughing and then there was this oh sorry love I think I've just didit something yeah just run over saon you know set in himself I knew I should have let my husband Drive well at least that answers the question would you rather meet a man or a bear while traveling alone always choose the man unless it's Sauron he is no man all right G no need to split hairs you're miserable cow she's an elf disgrace Heroes shall be granted a passage across the sea to honestly I'm just glad that this is one of the few portals in science fiction or fantasy that doesn't resemble a Min but we start with a Dar the Oro and saon and it's very dark oh look I've got a crown goth has been defeated and saon is trying to recruit all of the evil people to his side and for some reason he's he's got to like convince them you'd think they'd follow him because he's the strongest person but they're like no should we follow this evil God or should we just follow this random guy no one's ever heard of before your new master Sauron he had to read out his own name because they changed the actor and nobody would have known this Sauron was born out of a van with flower power written on the side huge fan of um hubs Just Smokes a lot and eats junk food thinks he's expanding his mind when really he's just widening the ass now luckily in this they have told us this is the dawn of the second age basically the only time you're going to get so good luck keeping track of this he tells him his plan to create a new power not of the flesh but over flesh Adar not very happy when he goes this is all going to be out Conquest a lot of you are going to die but we will get to conquer everybody and you know you'll love that won't you me ruling everything but out of the chaos we will Forge a new order am I supposed to care if Orcs die they're an evil species led by evil people that do nothing but evil this is like an inverse of modernity where the higher the body counts the more moral the action course this guy not very happy that he's going to get killed through his sword and he's like oh it's fine they're going to worship me as I rule over them peoples together to rule them all as one you could say it's one to rule them all rule them all as one do you think they got that do you think they got it there no they are they are thick should we spell it out for them maybe we need to put a ring on screen at the same time and they're like Sarah lies cuz as you all know these people are renowned for their political argument doubt me at your peril or yours he says you have nowhere else to go The Valor will never forgive you the alss will never accept you as the weird perverts you are men will never look upon you with anything but horror and disgust based economy that's because you're evil you're all evil scum by the way this scene was meant to make you pity saon and it's also seem to make you pity orc they're just normal people after a home no there is only one moral thing you can do when you meet an orc I mean look at that am I supposed to feel sorry for that Noble raised worthy only to be hunted and slaughtered B exactly the less Orcs there are the more moral the world is is the guy we're supposed to feel sorry for and think he's in the right okay either way the orc goes for saon doesn't really go to plan for him does it and saon just starts stabbing him in the face for a long time as a dog gets more and more enraged as does the crowd and my path your only path I just don't understand why he's like begging them while also demanding that they accept him these are Orcs they're animalistic they only understand power force my friends is violent the supreme authority from which all other authority is derived I don't know why you just just show them that violence never solves anything is wishful thinking at its worst these are not people that you bargain with they don't have the intelligence people who forget that always pay and so with that AAR decides to Crown Him King he's like all hair siron sirron bends his head before the crown checks to make sure that the spikes on the helmet aren't going to be shoved into his face it's like yeah okay it's like okay maybe that's a good idea not to have big massive spikes on your helmet if it can be used as a weapon against you I'm just saying really or stupid one it I do love how he flips it over and holds it there for a long time to be like the Orcs are have you understood the plan yet is that off what's happened here do you not know I have a feeling you'd realize that the crown just got stabbed into your face stop making crowns with spikes on you insane git so he decides to fight but of course all the Orcs stop diving in and they basically gang him and while he does briefly fight overall there's just too many of them and eventually they get him while Adar the weaker person watches on so this is literally the Orcs betraying a powerful leader for a weak one it doesn't make any sense you're supposed to be pitying siron because he got betrayed by evil as he was planning to be evil himself and Lead an evil species to do evil Axe and you're supposed to feel sorry for this guy because now he's the victim he's now oppressed by the stronger majority and that means that he's good cuz as you always know if you're a victim and oppressed that just means you're good even if you are an evil sorcerer trying to take over the world victims are moral but as they gather him and just starts beating him to death he closes his eyes before he literally explodes and sort of you would assume kills everyone in the room when you see the force you let no one survive that love oh no wait everybody survive that even the useless Orcs And his body is vanished and at no point does aaro HM was a god wasn't he yeah maybe if his body isn't here it means he's not really dead he he doesn't think of that instead he decides to lead the Orcs and tells them something really stupid you are free nobody wants them to have freedom they're Orcs I want them to be crushed and oppressed and kept in the same place forever I want them to be contained with as smaller place as possible we could lock him in that room that'd be perfect Freedom isn't a virtue it depends who has it of course he's so arrogant he doesn't even investigate sauron's corpse himself and so the black goo of Sauron actually creeps down through the floor with all the consistency and evil of Marmite you either love it or hate it basically the only person that loves it is gadriel she's in disgrace and he collects in a pool under the ground and he doesn't tell you how long he sat and waited here but as it zoomed out for a long time and then cut to black only to cut to exactly the same scene I think that's meant to highlight the passage of time have no idea I'm just assuming if you cut to Black and then you're just still there it's going to be like well you know some sometimes has passed been how long just so he can eat a rat and I think this is meant to be oh look how far he sunk he's having to eat rats I'm like yeah but I've seen the way New Yorkers live so everywhere at this point this is just your average city living but as he consumes the rat we get another Fade to Black and then you see him eating this crap but that'll just be McDonald's in 5 years anyway anyway and so after turning into what I can only assume is meant to be like a pot noodle the Japanese are looking at this and getting hungry I mean they'd give you a tip as with the Klingons slowly crimes up in his worm form for I don't know why we keep fading to Black to show time passing because we can't be bothered to just put a number on the screen we not joking it happens all the time look at this oh you've seen him for a few seconds now we're going to turn the lights out again but eventually he climbs out of the depths of the cave only to find a hole not glads disgrace although that does come relatively soon [Music] actually ah I do think that's meant to be for an anergy for like giving birth he just like flops out of a hole he's been reborn new moral saon I've going to see that again the best bit is there's absolutely no reason for him to have been on that rock at all he could have crawled around the rock instead he decided to climb up it just to fall over the other side but obviously woman driver horse and cart and she seems to be getting pissed along the way I mean I don't know what she was expecting he's like all this must be good stuff this is I've run over saon I don't know why she's screaming this is the Southlands she's seen uglier men now somehow the horse can just do this yeah I mean she didn't tie it there very well did she it could just break off whenever it wants really should have got your husband to do this job shouldn't you squatchy before Sauron steps out wearing her dress and his new face which is almost custom designed to give griel the tingles throbbing I'm so happy now I've had a proper meal now we nearly need to see the backstory of Gandalf the White as he went around and just started eating like ostriches and stuff to come back I need to see Gandalf the White living off rats that's what I want to see now they do make sure that you know saon is evil and they do it in an extremely clever manner oh he's looked up from under his eyebrows that means he's evil so then we find out Saron isn't just evil he's also extremely stupid he's basically walking back to where he died the first time there's an orc Army burning stuff to the ground and he just wants to walk into the middle of it like they beat you before they'll beat you again for some reason you don't have enough power to beat a few Orcs out why but luckily he meets a helpful man that way lies death friend and that is my path what you went to all this effort to not die and now you want to walk back there so you can die again right at the start of the episode already contradicting his own motivations the guy's like no there's an Army Of Orcs moving against men we were the fortunate ones we escaped perhaps the fortunate ones were the first to die if that's all you want in life why did you even come back when you were in a puddle on the floor it turns out this is the guy who's got the king's totem he isn't the king himself but he keeps on on himself as a reminder that even the mightiest can fall Fortune's con turn for even the most powerful he's talking about Saron Grim reminder what a hopeful one oh it's so deep a sure path May crumble but there's always another seriously if this keeps on I'm going to need to snorkel so I don't drown it's almost as deep as the first series right do a star and FL and a b s but he's like fail you can take us somewhere better somewhere good you can come with us friend go down to the Army and face the ORS and die or join us in the west where a man can get New Freedom in a good place live a new life you could just grill with that Saron joins them on a boat to uh I'm not even sure they know I mean you could argue they're going to numor but why would numor want these random people from a foreign land in their country to ruin it that doesn't even make any sense from this point though we already know what happens a sea monster comes along and attacks the boat Sauron is incredibly quick just to brag about his deeds in the past I've done evil the other guy's like have we all I mean not really I mean in Hollywood sure but I think most people would more describe the things as I've made mistakes or I've done wrong no I'm evil but the guy response is typically Hollywood as well all of us have done things that we care not to admit basically the BBC HR department right there that's their interview strategy have you ever done evil yes or so have we but we'll never admit it you're in you are alive because you have chosen good yeah you just want to grill this is the grand backstory that's supposed to convince you that sarum wanted to go from Evil to being good in the first Ser it's like nothing's happened to him he got stabbed became a victim and then he's like I'm good not no there's only better ways needs to do this he was taken in by a family who actually helped him when he was in need and that gave him some kind of compassion as he learned what normal people are like rather than spending his entire life around evil Orcs it's an old Trope but it's better than just well I woke up and I'm good now at that moment though they hear the sea monster grab hold of something because he's cared about his well-being because he's been nice to him so he's trying to help him by alerting him to Danger except that water floods the place help me and a pillar has fallen on him so obviously siron being incredibly strong could just pick that up easily and also this guy's been nice to him cares about him and he's been trying to help him literally 5 seconds ago obviously he going to help him right literally no sense if you didn't care about him while you're telling him to hold on to something either way Saron is subjected to Instant Karma ends up under waterer and faces off against the monster who he kind of just stares down as it swims up to him and is about to eat him I can see you now you look really ugly I don't want to eat sour I don't know why just leaves him alone and so sarin ends up on the raft where he meets over here a random swimmer that decided that they could just swim across an ocean who just happen to meet them in the O the ocean's pretty big you left into the sea to save one life guess I'll just die the sea is always right they also slightly wreck on this she's like looking at him and he just decides to go yeah look at me in my my evilness I mean what so H brand can you just look at it as evily as possible also when he was filming that scene he didn't even know it was Sauron apparently so we're not even sure what direction they gave him to get that expression it's the rings of power back now to Alon and gadriel and apparently they've been riding at full Pace she's desperately trying to reach out and grab the Rings from him that he's got in a bag because for some reason he doesn't just move the bag I could do this and make sure that you could never take them from me but no I'm going to leave them aside cuz I like to live Dangerously now this goes on for a long time of just them chasing and her leaning out repeatedly but also being crap because it's gadriel I can't give them to you they were made by Sauron be really stupid of me to give them to the person in love with Sauron then it should get really stupid gadriel has been here before she knows this area and so when they're riding along and they just decide to go either side of an extremely small Bush he vanishes and she's like oh where's he gone he must be a hobbit now as you can see there is a another route up there that he went down somehow he went down that route without her seeing him he he's magic I they don't bother to explain it either but she should also know where he's going no he hasn't gone this route maybe I should double back and go up the other rout that I also should have known was there and then you get stopped by a load of soldiers that just happen to be there at the time but by order of Herold Elon you are to come with us when did he give you that order he only came down here 10 seconds before me and then then it turns out that as they're leading her away she knows exactly where she's going to the pissing tree when gilgalad there with all his soldiers how did alron know he was it they didn't send a message to be expected it just turns out to be a massive coincidence that Alon magically slipped into 10 seconds before she found him is it true is what true I mean he's been talking to you for 10 seconds what could he even have told you in this time hi King Aon stallen my ring like s did and those Rings could save our people but gilgalad annoyed because hellbrand isn't who hellbrand said he was which isn't true he literally told gadriel the truth and gadriel lied to him about who he was and then just assumed that she was correct Sauron never lied gadriel made up his story for him is it true yes but only because she's too thick to remember her own story so we ask her who he is and she dances around the question he's not who he thought I was just a man and he did that and oh God just answer the pissing question why do you dance so to avoid revealing the truth woman why are the elves in English all the time randomly for a sentence go I think I'll speak in Elvish now this isn't normal behavior my favorite bit is she speaks Elish to him and he just goes I will believe you and I no longer see the LIE behind your eyes I'm not speaking arvish back to you you silly bin I care about the audience unlike you now who is this man he is no man he s now for some reason this turns gilgalad into a klling [Music] on yes f me some grass how could you of all our kind yeah you could have got with some nice lad that would have gave you kids and instead you had to go for the bad boy I told you it was no good for you but no this really is a picture that just says you're grand when you've eaten the last word's original I said you can only take one he deceived me no you deceived yourself you crazy bint I was deceived no Galadriel you were blind H I don't think blind is the right term thirsty thirsty stuck in the desert for a 100 days and only sat on to drink blinded by your own Pride by your own something but it wasn't Pride it's a bit lower down and what Frailty blinded you Alon what you mean blinded Alon hearted your failure kazad Doom leave us with but this he had no failure at kazad they told him no that's not his fault it's like aloon couldn't get the minerals because a king who had no power over wouldn't let him compared to gladel who got with Salon basically Satan because she liked the shape of his horn also this camera angle really makes her look short doesn't it like I know he's on a step but it really makes her look short but gilad has made his mind up give me the Rings Alon he's like no I can't give you them he's no doubt corrupted them we do not use them High King he's no doubt corrupted he never touched them okay this is Alon verse gadriel get gadriel eat her off a cliff listen to alron he's got dangly bits there could never have been a more easier decision between these two like place off they have something better to do holding some towels or something cannot know the depth of Al is entirely correct Saron influenced the creation he gave you the recipe he told you how to do it and he gave you the original idea and he's like yes his influence could be in the Rings but it could be in me as well this is the most ridiculous story ever and exactly the kind of things you would expect from these directors random emotional drama the entertainment is in the social interactions but gilgalad says basically either we use the Rings or we leave so give me the pissing Rings we must take the risk no matter what this stupid fancy woman thinks it's like yes we all know she's an idiot who basically shouldn't be here I've already tried to get rid of her once she keeps turning up like a rash our most cunning enemy is rising again we need the Rings he's already destroyed hers I can't have him destroying these as well Middle Earth will be left to suffer under the tyranny of a new dark lord now the weird thing they're doing is they're trying to play with these Rings already having an evil influence on them they keep doing things with like a longing glance or someone can't give them away this isn't the one ring that these Rings didn't have the same influence doesn't stop them doing it in the though they may be the last hope for all Middle Earth which is how you end up with that story they're essentially playing out the reason why Gandalf couldn't take the ring like the ring wouldn't make him evil but in wanting to do good with it it would tempt him into it and then he would become a tyrant just a tyrant doing the ultimate good thing which would have the same effect of enslaving the population you would live in a perfect Paradise with absolutely no free will whatsoever it is a risk we must chance to take so give me the ring aland give them to me and I mean look if you can't trust a man in a dress who can you trust so Elon just repeats the same thing he's done before what if sa's tainted them gilgalad doubles down this is an order from your king I will not ask again all the soldiers move around aland and aland really has only one option but before that we have to do something really stupid again yeah we just got to switch languages for no reason it's more impactful if we talk gibber they like oh is the Rings having an influence on him like oh is he going to say my pressure no rings didn't have an influence stop it so when he says I cannot well supposed to think oh if the Rings made him cannot no no he's just the only sensible person in Middle Earth with an IQ above five on no ye luckily though I think the elves are playing fortnite and so there's no fall damage over in Mordor now you know it's Mordor because they show you in the bottom left obviously if someone mentions to you Lord of the Rings and a volcano well there's just too many to choose you have to be told but saon is been guided along with his town folk we find out the guy you have to use a magic item to open the Overflow in a dam is still alive because he's a really important character that make the people swear allegiance to a Dar and then get branded it's a bit weird you're branded with a symbol of Mordor which is a map to guide your location here so they just put the map to the location on you so you never forget it like Google Maps but then they put it on the back of your neck where you can't see it anyway but then Adar meets the King of the North she's my queen Let My People Go Let My People Go budy pitches you have have to let my people go cuz otherwise I won't tell you where Saron is a sorcerer someone who holds a power not of the flesh but over flesh and is that why would I care we defeated the men The Elves and and even the new manorian who are you to defeat me and I've got to be honest I know this is a new actor as AAR I can't remember the other one at all if they hadn't told me this is a new guy I wouldn't have known an ancient sorcerer to instruct the elves in forging a new weapon Saron does have an interesting plan even if it's going to be badly done essentially get the Orcs to march on your enemies simply telling them that you're going to do something you've already done and they need to march on it to stop you there is an interesting idea behind that plan it's more in the execution than anything else a power that will allow him to use your children as slaves in his army and I'd be like hang on how do you know I refer to them as my children have you seen them the creepy freaks who would want any of these as their children what do you think I am a mutant that you don't normally see this kind of degenerative effect on a human body unless they become vegan but he says if you let everyone go I will tell you where Sauron is is the sorcerer sorry he doesn't call him ton so that you can destroy him and rid us both of his evil because that would be the terminology you Ed to appeal to Orcs evil I mean they're evil they don't mind evil they actually quite like being with evil kind of their brand it's like going to Ben and Cherry's and being like will you join me in a war against sugar no that's what they'd say as well they're too busy trying to destroy the world through other means but's like I'm not going to let anyone go I can just make you spill your guts I don't have to kill you I can just make you wish you were already dead you can't kill me in time you will beg me to this is my second watch through of episode one we're already there you don't need the stick just talk him up to a streaming service yeah because I'm sure that would hurt everyone's afraid of a mace wielded by Baldrick it doesn't even look as if he's putting much force into it uh uh I'm in Minecraft so they're worried that Saron might actually return and I was like no no we all watched him die we never saw his body at the end did we but we all saw him he definitely couldn't do that I mean he's only a god next up we get The Wanderer The Wanderer it was the wander okay this is pathetic I thought he was called The Wanderer he isn't he's called The Stranger and the reason I didn't think he was called The Stranger is because that's the same name they used in the acolyte is this just what you get in modern shows like they're all feminine like oh I like the mystery I don't know who he is that makes it interesting because he's got this mysterious backstory where yes I mean he may have wiped out an entire continent of people but at least there's that mystery there but the stranger wanders around and I know what you're thinking you're thinking something will happen no just like the first season I don't know why this character exists he's dreaming about a staff you know it's an important item because it's doing ASMR if he doesn't grab it quickly it's going to start licking a microphone or do flashbacks or weird events that can also happen turns out though he stuck in a desert Under the Sun by some woman with acorns in her face I mean I know it happens maybe you've been to Glaston and you picked up somebody who looks like they live under a hedge you don't know whether she's going to talk to you about magic or solar panels if you tell me what it is you keep seeing maybe I could you could what love you eat snails you came from a family of cannibals at this point we should just bury you in the sand and let the Scorpions take you so they're just randomly wandering around the desert but they're getting looked at by a guy who has a really really crap binocular binocular I don't know and they're like oh look at me I'm a vampire and my nose is dropped off sorry I just had flashbacks to The Strain largely because when you're watching rings of power your brain desperately hopes that at some point it'll find entertainment somewhere Stone trees I hate those trees there's nothing worse than when you're in the desert and you find trees but of course like anything this show has to spell it out for you we're going in circles well have you tried not doing by walking in a straight line it's not difficult just pick a direction and walk in it you can use the sun to navigate this isn't hard wasn't their entire plan to go East so just remember the direction the sun rises in and go in that you will never go in a circle there must be some evil Upon This land or she's navigating that's also an option if we're going to leave the navigator to somebody make it the person who doesn't eat creepy crawlies the only other person we've seen do that is Sauron so fusing our path just ad minute we're lost no you're lost he's following you panic is the Fool's meal Nori we would be wiser to soop on patience how do you even soop on patience oh look at me I've just got a nice bottle of patience here we haven't sopped on anything since we run out of snails how very French what I really like him is about how the goo just pour was out their face but she comes up with a plan hang on there's nothing to eat out here but your magic just make some food and he gets scared he's like no you need to go back you know what happened the last time I remember what happened the last time you were just improving a tree so food came on it and then all of the villagers freaked out and started running at you you did nothing wrong it was the crazy lunatics that were to blame either way he starts to do magic although however good he is at graveling your drive growing a tree is a bit of a different story and so is is trying to make the tree grow yeah that's very similar to what happen to gadal when she Mets her on is like o I wasn't expecting explosive force of that magnitude of course she she loves it she's extremely happy despite the fact the tree exploded well you did it will eat for days you're like hang on it's just blown up the tree what are you eating you dirty Bast you creepy weirdo the best bet is these are alive they're running away she doesn't even try and catch them she's just letting Escape we'll eat for days hang on I should probably gather some of these shouldn't I I just shove down their head first and leave her personally I'm not traveling with you you're going to make me throw up love I'd look at it the same you disgusting cron thing is it's not even the worst bit you think it can't get it gets worse don't be so glum I asked you to conjure us up some food and you did that's not why I'm looking glum love I would have preferred a nice steak on the end of this not a creepy crawly there are levels of food but at least yes to advice to help him in the future and sort of ease his anxiety about what's happened lost control so you need to learn how not to lose control just don't do it again that's why we keep you around Nori it's that deep aged wisdom that comes from many years on this planet consuming your own people oh I'd love to be in the meeting when they decided this what's the kind of emotion that we want our audience to feel during episode one disgust don't you think we've already managed that by the L no make him eat scum I want the audience vomiting before the end of the first episode yeah I mean they'll be watching this when they're eating the tea that's exactly the emotion I want pulsion I can feel the legs in the throat that's the best part oh you creepy freak put her in a rocket and eject her into space they're dancing we used to sing little boogy songs they have music to dance to this is why we used to drown you as witches you could evolve independent thoughts this is what you do with it so then they just waffle on more I'm missing home oh that's F I don't care strange how that which is Left Behind can be the heaviest burden to carry that doesn't even make any sense I think the bug's gone to his brain I miss my home as well you don't even remember your home you don't even have a name you don't even remember yours thank you that's how everyone wants to be a victim nowadays no sometimes I perceive a glimmer of it nonetheless sometimes I think I miss the home that I don't know about the writing in this show folks also why is she moaning about food when she's got acorns in her hair that's what I want to know but he looks in the distance he's like oh we're being followed we're going to have to set a track crap cut back to Sauron cuz they really want to drag out his story I'm going to scare you with my dog his Nam Dave you tell old wre everything you know about s yeah because that's going to make you break isn't it getting threatened by the homeless guy and what are you going to do if I don't give you anything uh B I mean I could see why a dart talk him as his right-and man he's really useful but he threatens wreg lock when I'm free I'm going to kill you ad doesn't even remember you're here I don't blame him the moment I took off this show I forget all about him as well saon though eventually gets the food that's been on the floor and he's like hm I could eat it or I could give it to this really cute POG and you know full well there's a load of women going oh he's so cute isn't he yeah he's the cutest animal I've ever seen basically the Pete Davidson effect oh it looks like he's dying it's so attractive and of course Saron knows exactly how to speak to um well an animal that just looks like it climbed out of a nuclear power plant why he doesn't talk like that normally it's actually far more impactful than his normal delivery and it gives him entire control over the dog and a new friend over at Lyon now there are loads of elves wandering around but none of them noticed the troll under the bridge we're here at the ship right because in the future when they want to cross the ocean they don't want to murder all of their own people which we really glossed over at the start of season 1 attire where did you get your boat gadriel where did you get your boats affection exists only in Bor yes that's in entirely unrelated line is simply set up for later on or maybe I was wrong and I've had a character AR for absolutely no reason but he hears something normally only used to the noise of the sea and so he waits Until Dark before entering his building you needn't hide any longer wait okay so you realize someone was hiding all this time none of the other Alves did he's like well I'm really old and as you all know that improves your hearing the best bet is when he says there's no need to hide anymore just look where alron was hiding in the first place I'm just it's just there there's no need to hide anymore I I wasn't I was just standing here bro if you'd looked around you could have seen me at any time I came here specifically to talk to you why do you think I was hiding in the first place but Alon came for advice and help and so obviously he opens with a compliment you are the oldest and wisest of our kind you look like dirt you've gone all gray got a face like leather you have you're so old why you even making boats you decrepit old fart and the elves are facing our greatest test in an age gadriel yes largely a test of patience hop back to gilgalad now who's who's writing a letter to cab bmbo to tell him that Hal brand is saon because for some reason gadriel Never Said So at the time even though that's exactly what would have been said who is hellbrand you shouldn't mess with him why who is he well SAR it's the only way that conversation would have gone now instead he sends a single messenger with probably the most important message in all of Middle Earth he must be informed that Hal brand is Sauron yes he must be this is vital and that is why I've sent this guy to him yeah they might as well have covered this guy all in red it's like you do like red don't you especially your shirts we're going to send a messenger out with the most important message of all time that's why we're going to use this character that you've never seen before there is no way he's making it to the other side I haven't seen him yet but you know there's no way this is a message that is so important Kell brimo don't make any more rings of power for Sauron I would have sent like a contingent of military no it's I'm going to send this guy yeah very important in history everyone knows his name Dave and Trust No Stranger upon your path you even know it's dangerous this is a very dangerous message so I'm sending one bloke to do it I would have trusted a carrier pigeon more he is so dead but she says I've yet to thank you for trusting me he's like trust you you silly bins you left me no other choice you and I are momentarily aligned for one reason because I haven't yet thrown you off a bridge your actions have left us no alternative that's what I said I should have you thrown in feds and cost to the etan MS for what you've done I know go on then then why have you not see even she agrees I am considering it someone fire him I mean he is not cut out to be a leader you should be in prison why haven't you I don't know but they meet the soldiers we haven't found the Rings we found no body maybe he just died so gadriel puts two into two together and for some reason never thought about this before until she hit this exact point at this exact moment as this exact table oh I immediately came up with it but for some reason that had to be standing in this exact spot for the script to tell me to she says he wanted to destroy the Rings and so he'll get somebody older and more powerful than you somebody that you'll listen to someone older wiser whose voice would command respect even from you she managed to insult the king at the same time the El event who would he go to well somebody older and wiser than you you diminutive little man you said you don't know why I'm in prison I don't know why you're leader so they're talking about the Rings and for some reason San actually already knows what they are power they could change the heart of any who behold them apparently this magic spell didn't even need to come from Saron K bmbo was going to do it anyway on his own and presumably take over for the world but he tells Kuran that Sauron was the one that came up with this his influence is no doubt in them despite the fact that he wasn't there when they were made and so he asked herden how can we get rid of them and they hatch a plan between them a huge crater was created in one of the previous battles one which only manway knows the bottom of and so if we cast them into there no one will ever find them at that moment though gadel and gilad turn up because he's willing to come here to try and get the Rings back he's not willing to go and T calmo that Sauron is going to make him make more Rings that's not important but catching Alon oh that's a that's a job I've got to do my gad's like I want to speak to him first give me one last chance to reason with my friend hilarious a doesn't that sound so nice I just want to reason with him I want to be nice and have a conversation with like she did with Sauron you know in season one where she basically pressured him into turning evil again yeah I love her conversations reason quickly is it sound so well intentioned yes right up until she talks to him she walks in and finds Alon sitting down somebody noticeably abs special as they know that this is curan ship writer we're not going to talk about that I have come to coax you willingly if I fail the hiking will see you removed by force you [ __ ] I have come to talk peacefully with you and get you to agree to consent to come with us if you don't he's going to come and smack you around the face Pure Evil and you're just another man taking credit for a woman's work that's not coaxing somebody willingly this is why you don't have all female directors they don't understand force and power it is literally I am unable to do this and so I immediately have to escalate to the highest possible outcome because I'm petrified as I know I'm going to lose the fight therefore there is no negotiation there is no first level there is no slow escalation it's like you come with what I say or I will get this guy to crush you this is why the people that make something matter because we look at the world differently we have different anxieties and it shows through in the work a bloke could have been like hey why are you threatening me I come to get you to agree or else of course Alon reacts in the way that you would expect of a normal grandma he's like I have had enough of your [ __ ] I failed enough of late old friend help me succeed this time because if you don't I'm going to tell gilgalad and he's going to come in here and kick the living sh out of you oh please help me succeed what a disgusting character she's an elf disgrace but she's like I should have trusted you as you trust me but we've got to go in the Rings and we've got to trust them now it's like how is that trusting him if you trusted in him you would have destroyed the Rings you haven't trusted in him at all you're just guilt tripping him you mad cow three there is balance congratulations you played Age of Empires 1 V one 1 V1 it was great fun doesn't really map onto this though does it we chose this path together no you chose it for me baste throw her in the ocean what so frightens you you cannot consider the possibility of their corruption she wants that dick I know the three rings are free of his influence but are [Music] you what about your rings though gadriel are your rings free of his influence are you going to let him play with two and just keep the third one free didn't like aland in the first series what a boss what an absolute boss the life of Valor sha upon your very face you turned your back on it he's like you essentially went to the Gates of Heaven and went nah I'd rather swim across an ocean cheers so how can we trust you when you're tainted and the first guy you met in the ocean is Satan himself was it truly to fight the darkness or was the darkness calling to you to be fair the darkness called to all of [Music] us with time we'll see whether I was right or wrong he's like how much time do you think you have suddenly she realizes hang on where's the guy who owns this place curan has already taken them in his boat obviously he is a master ship right and that's why he's in a little rowing boat that I'm pretty sure I could build look at the Artistry I got that one out the Aros catalog back now with a stranger and he's watching the stalker obviously he's crouched down behind the Rocks so that they don't know he's looking at them and so as he sneaks away yeah he just stands up what's the point of crouching down just going to stand up anyway that's the person they can definitely see you they know you're watching them oh well he goes down the tunnel through the rocks and he set a trap yes of string which is 100 100% strong enough to trip somebody up that is that must be that magical unbreakable string I think it's literally made out of his hair but as the person creeps up on them the magical sorcerer grabs a rock to defend himself yeah yeah yeah we're clearly getting stalked by somebody incredibly dangerous when they fell over a piece of hair somehow though she tracks them through a desert after like months of them Trav I'm assuming it's months I don't know how long it's been but she talks about how I've done chores we've got Maps we collected it must be months poppy don't go poppy go how did you find us here we don't know where we're going so how do you know where we're going how's everyone at home right the same sparkling conversation like that I'm amazed they let you leave the village you came after us wasn't so hard you haven't exactly gotten very far yeah all they had to do is put their back to the Sun but they're too thick to do that and kept walking around in circles presumably like 10 m away from the village cuz that's the only way that she would have tracked them down it turns out though she's brought a load of maps with them and a message that you have to remember the walking song and that turns out to be directions to where they need to go for some reason and so they start to match the lyrics of the song to the route they've got to travel trees of stone trees of stone yes I I don't know what that could be I mean presumably some kind of massive thing possibly on a mountain a huge Landmark right it's got to be seen from miles away because otherwise it would be remarkable if it was a really tiny landmark and you just happen to be standing next to it oh no there it is there that was lucky so then they track it down past eyes of fire like sand for my bed because nothing is more comfortable as a mattress than sand and so they Follow the yellow brick roads all the way to run because you know that must have been one hell of a long song I think I could have just shortened it by go east go east follow this sun this is only the beginning yeah unfortunately curan now is over the trench he's about to drop the Rings into the ocean oh that was lucky never mind it was only an air bubble you can just drop it again no I'm tempted lured by their power the one Rings it no cuz he doesn't exist yet the only explanation for any of this is that somehow they have been tainted by sauron's presence and literally have the power of the One Ring despite that not being canned instead he can't help himself he has to put them on he precious how could I resist you my preure back with saon and adar's turned up he tells him I was in your place once tied up on a mountain and Sauron came and offered that I could serve him in exchange for wi and I drank I have let your people go go down go down Moses now tell me what you know of siron so I can take my Vengeance but having already bargained for all his people to release I suppose he thinks well getting me released isn't that much more so he says I don't know who saon is he's taken a new form he is back but I have the trust of the elves I can go to the elves find out sinon's form and then pass that back to you so you can attack him with your armies but you have to release me in order for me to help you and so he agrees as long as uh hellbrand swears a legiance to a and so as he goes to swear allegiance to him he's like no at my feet but sir's like okay I'll get at your feet but I will swear allegiance to Adar Lord of mortal with one small change I all to serve the Lord of M that's me that is isn't that sneaky of me I'm so clever I didn't even lie I'm even going to do an evil smir just in case you're too thick to realize what just happened and so with Sarah escapes Baldrick comes back he's like yeah he thought he said he was going to kill me he did I'll teach him completely useless he does hurt his foot on something metal though turns out to be a collar cuz he's freed the dog and Hal brand has fulfilled yet another promise back at the tree Gil glad is singing do you do you really want to hear that I mean really is that enough I mean come [Music] on I'm sure he's going to release it as a Dis Track with altered lyrics if you give him enough time either way he says the leaves are gone the Rings are gone and so our time in this realm is over we must return to our home but there are Whispers someone's behind us and Kuran comes he seems remarkably pleased with himself Perfection does not exist only in valin order do you remember the sentence earlier in the after I remember it's set up and payoff this is like a script written by somebody who's only ever heard of scripts before like he knows all the pieces and he's just ticking them off he's like yeah I got one of them and one of them and one of them set up pay off that's a story it is here why are you wearing one these are the rings of power nobody said you can have I know you've read the book so you realize let you get one it doesn't mean you can have it in this this is gilad's job of who can have the Rings and he doesn't even offer gilgalad the three rings he only offers him the other two Gil doesn't even ask him for the third one he's like well I suppose you can keep it it's only one of the most powerful items in the entire realm it's not that big a deal you can have you can have it but as you would expect of the elves gilad very easily startled no oh I've dropped him if they fell over the wall waterfall I would piss myself laughing unfortunately one just Falls at his feet and the other one bounces to gadriel who then just bends down but is like oh I guess this is mine now and puts it on her finger and gilad let her so let's recap this is somebody that wanted to bang saaron Satan the most evil person currently in the realm the same guy that made these rings of his recipe and possibly tainted them and you think that giving one of these powerful possibly tainted items to the person in love with with saon is a good idea and the reason why you want to do that is because gravity told you it should happen are you insane oh well you know you know what they say you've got to trust the bouncing possession is 9/10 of the bounce and so gilg glad puts one on and we have decided who gets these rings by being King fair enough stealing them and just happen to be standing where it bounced these elves don't belong in Middle Earth they should piss off back to banor they're awful but as the three of them have the Rings the tree lights up you know they've turned the LEDs back on away whatever and now I did briefly hope that all of the leaves that were on the floor just got like vacuumed up back onto the tree but unfortunately it grows new leaves like rewinding time would have been pissing hilarious yes that oh look this is as bright as we could make it with incandescent bulbs so as glad really is looking at her precious Alon I get a bit mean-spirited shall we say so he leaves and they're like well at least we have a tree and all I can say when you look at the hands uh especially but also his I've got the shakes lay off the caffeine love you might be able you need a surgeon's hand for this scene I've got Parkinson's back with calab bmbo and he's made a new Forge and a new Apprentice who didn't exist in the law but they've made them up because we're going to have to overshadow cell BM both somehow but he gets news of a messenger come to negotiate and it's hellbrand you know the one he was told never to speak to if only she'd gone hellbrand is saon all of this could have been avoided but instead actually there is no instead I don't know why he's going to talk to him anyway he said one instruction don't pissing talk to Hal brand your useless tart now also think of this from hbr's point of view the last thing he did in this place was tell gadriel that he was Sauron so he would have naturally assumed that gadriel would tell them that he was Sauron that means he thinks he's walking into this place with them knowing he's Sauron what an idiot this would just turn into a repetition of that first scene with them all stabbing you be like London then we Grant him entry why would you you've been given one instruction don't talk to hellbrand and he thinks you're looking at him thinking it's saon so I don't know what his plan is either he's like oh I'm saon you know I'm saton ooh what an absolute pile of twaddle nothing in this made sense the only interesting part of it was well saon falling over his goo that was funny and sinon's plan with a d to actually send him after essentially himself I also like that narrative but it was just really poorly done the rest of it everyone's contradicting themselves doing stupid things acting like an idiot pretending this is is a deep plot where nothing is happening there's no emotion behind the characters nothing they say has any depth they just pretend it has and it's basically CW talking about emotions in hallways which is what you would expect from the directors everything contradicts itself nothing is Law and they even get the Rings wrong and in something called the rings of power getting the Rings canonically correct well that's pretty important isn't it the only person in it I really liked was alron and that's just cuz he's pissing off gadriel and if this is your big episode to kick it off at action to get the pace going what on Earth have you got for the rest of the series have a feeling the marketing was all a lie they knew what they had to say but the series was already made they just hoped they'd get away with it and no one would find out presumably cuz they thought no one would watch it too find out and with two more episodes of these to go that you released on the same day at at I don't know what you're thinking Amazon but uh but I would really investigate the qualifications of whoever made this decision and if it's not Jennifer suy then you know just investigate her anyway you should have enough proof by now but those are just my thoughts what are yours let me know down in the comments below like the video If like the video subscribe more videos like this in the future and I will see you in the next ones this is going to get rough oh bye-bye