Danae Hays | Prank Calling, Laughter, and Life Lessons

off the [Music] vine okay you guys welcome to off the vine I'm your host Caitlyn Bristo and today we have da Hayes in the studio I belly laughed harder than I have in years years we did a prank phone call at the end that you do not want to miss I had to leave the room cuz I was laughing so hard but da she's a woman of many talents she is a podcast host she is a comedian she's a writer singer a bunch of different things and she always brings a unique perspective to everything I really enjoyed my conversation with her today do you know Cody rsby yes Pelon Pelon yeah he had a book tour and I was hosting it last night at City Winery and like I was reading his card for him to like get intro out there yeah and I was just like does this turn you on like he was like yeah I bet it does like everything I'm saying he's like yeah yeah I like him he's got such a fun person I'm mad I didn't go to that I love that guy oh I should have told you shame on you Kaylin you know my bad yeah you do need to take responsibility for I had a guest list and I didn't tell you that's okay I I do like him though is he As Nice in person as he is yes he's lovely and he's totally a comedian like up on stage I was like oh he works the crowd yeah oh my God I would assume so he could probably do like a standup tour if he was over with pelaton he totally could he was very funny and we played smash or pass with Disney characters and I was like this feels is that so funny it was like Beast as a human or beast as beast and everybody picked Beast as Beast yeah I'm kind of feeling that too Beast as a human had like an updo like a half up half down like red wavy hair he yeah the mullet I think he brought that oh yeah and it was like he was almost too pretty in the face where Beast was like kind of like I was like oh I think Bell smash Bell I would smash Bell I would also okay wait I'm going to give you another one smash dumpy is what you're going to say who's dumpy one of the Seven Dwarves dumpy is one of the dwarves right it's dumpy isn't there a dumpy I don't think there's a dumpy never heard dumpy I dumpy dumpy dumpy's got a dump truck okay well dumpy should be there's a skit for you do a dumpy you go you go dumpy I was like surely I would know if there was a dumpy in got that big old booty on him wait that would be hilarious also okay one more smash or pass Aladdin or geston probably Aladdin I'm into that that you know that ethnic ethnic Vibes he reminds me too much of my ex oh so I picked gueston he he kind of gets on my nerves that's the well same but I feel okay I was trying to explain this you know when you watch porn totally yeah and then like your dogs's in the room and then when you're done you like slam the the laptop down and you feel so much shame and you're like don't look at me I just saw oh my God that's so weird you said that I just saw this uh comedian Emma I think her name's Willingham maybe she did an entire bit on stage about that which is so that must be like a universal interesting moment but she's like you know when you're watching porn and your dog's in the room he's like what the hell is Mom doing and then all of a sudden out of Shame you just slam that laptop you're kidding she said that swear to God I'll have to send you the clip like are you riding for are you her Ghost Rider I don't even know who she is wow maybe I heard it in a bit somewhere years ago and it's just stuck in my head uh what if Emma stole that from somebody else okay I have a question about that I feel like in like podcasting in the Tik Tok world in the comedy world is there a lot of like stealing going on like I personally steal a lot of material from like Family Guy or like stuff that like shows I used to watch all that are ingrained in my brain from my 20s and I recycle jokes all the time is it offensive as a comedian or a form of flattery when people take your bits well I think it depends on how much you take of it you know like if it's like a like a generalization something that like we've all had a universal experience with like you just said with the the poring situation but I think if you're like literally taking their punch lines and you're hitting the same punchline yeah which is a big reason I can't watch a lot of Comedy cuz if I'm you see yeah and if I see too much of it then I get in my head that I'm taking somebody else's material so I have a really hard time with like actually watching standup and Netflix and stuff like that cuz I'm like I have that same joke but if I tell it I don't want them to think that I stole their their stuff that's so interesting CU I feel like that well even you're big on Tik Tok did that come from Comedy uh it all started with a prank phone call yeah oh yeah I heard that you do prank phone calls prank phone calls make me so anxious I used to do them as a segment on my podcast did you like you were the Prank Caller yes wow and like I've done some crazy calls and every time the adrenaline that goes through my body like I'm like tired after see I think that's why I like it I think I get off to prank phone call I get too scared cuz I'm like well and then my audience started be started to tell me um being mean you're being mean and you didn't tell them that I would just hang up and be like I you know that's what a prank call I know I still get that same message I always look at it through the lens of like I know this may sound bad to some people but like if if I'm calling a place of business like at least I get to entertain them for five minutes you know and I'm never mean or ask them to do anything that would like make them uncomfortable overwhelm them or anything like that but also like let's bring a sense of humor back to 2024 let's stop being so hypercritical and so just looking for a reason to not laugh you know why is that are we just all I mean you want my honest op I do I I think we've gotten so far into the lane of like I don't want to use the word inclusive because that's a that's a positive word but we try so hard not to step on anybody toes where sometimes there is funny in having a moment where we're kind of laughing at a certain situation not in like a hostile way but like yeah like trying to find the humor just to like make joy out of something like why is that so bad yeah and that's that's one thing that I have to work constantly on on social media is because I I never want to hurt anybody's feelings yeah but I also love bringing joy to people and a lot of people want to laugh especially in you know a rough day so I feel like that's probably why majority of people do follow you is because you make them laugh and I feel like that do get people that are like that's not funny oh yeah what oh my God yeah all the time like not not like in the sense of like it's overwhelming but yeah you you get the people like I still love to prank phone call it's what originally grew my account and I genuinely love prank phone calling and so anytime you post a prank phone call you're like you're laughing at their expense you're so mean grow up blah blah blah and I'm like look there's there's millions of people out there that got joy from prank phone calling back in the 90s when we were kids so let's bring back some Nostalgia you know it is Nostalgia maybe that's what I like listening to prank calls but when I the one doing them I'm like oh God like I don't know why I feel the adrenaline's so high what is the best prank call you've ever put on somebody uh I think the one that I think the one that got the most views it was like 25 million in a couple of days it went bananas it was during the pandemic when everybody was at home and I prank phone call a taxidermist and for those of you that don't know what that is it's where you stuff animals like deer and whatnot yeah and I called and I I did my Southern character named Sharon Jean and I was like uh yes sir I'm looking to get my dog stuffed and I was like you don't do that do you and he was like actually we do and I were you expecting that no it took me by surprise so I had to think of my feet and I was like oh my God I did not expect him to say yeah we do and he was like where's the dog at now and I was like he's in my deep freezer and and he was like great I'll come pick him up and I was like no I'll just put him on top of the car and bring him down there he's frozen solid like a damn brick and he was like that's perfect you've done everything you need to do ma'am you've done it exactly right and I was like how many dogs is this guy stuffed like that was way too casual oh my go bring him down he's like what's what was his name I was like Pony so py P's going on some shirts we're doing some merch oh you have to p f Club one of my favorite things life is when people make merch out of like like a villain on a reality show yeah is like hated for a quote then they go and make merch off it I'm like yes get that coin yeah py Pony fan club I think that's what we're going to come out with wow I'm in sweet little I'm in the fan club wait that's so I would I would like to do a prank call with you at the end of this podcast we've got to but you you have to pick the person we call I want to do my mom so bad but she's such a paranoid freak like I feel like we'd have to tell her immediately at the end oh yeah I'm like always scared I'm going to give her a heart attack cuz she's just like so paranoid about everything that would be really bad uh you're on tour right now yeah so wait do you live in Nashville yeah full-time full time yeah okay and so where is your tour going where can people how tell me everything um well where what when we just finished the first leg of the tour it sold out pretty quick which was so it sold out so fast shocked the hell out of me uh cuz this is my first time going on tour as a standup uh just feels like my childhood dream yeah yeah it really does I've always imagined myself in some form of being a Entertainer yeah I've just love making people laugh it's my favorite thing so you've been like that since you like came out of the womb yeah yeah I'm sure I annoyed the hell out of my parents growing up but do your parents have good senses of humor oh yeah yeah yeah my dad is like he writes half my jokes and he doesn't even know he's writing them like that's the best yeah he's yeah his him just living his life is uh is me writing content where did you grow up I grew up a little north of Birmingham Alabama okay yeah the way you do that southern accent is too good well you also have a bit of a Southern accent yeah okay so that makes sense that that's where you're from you okay so you just are selling out tours from like it's crazy when you think about what a social media platform like sometimes I love the internet sometimes I hate it but sometimes I love it when it feeds me the right thing and when people like you get those kinds of views I'm like yes we are celebrating right in life it's it's really crazy but you like Zan is have you done your Zan show yet how was it uh it was really fun I love that I won't lie zany was out of all the shows zany was the most intimidating because all of my friends and family and people that I work with and business partners they were all there and my wife thought it was the best idea to put them all at one table and I was like Manny the room is the size of our living room why would we stick all 40 people that we know at one table she's like well I just wanted us to be able to have a conversation and just like laugh together and I'm like she's like you never really made eye contact with us over there I was like yeah yeah cuz you stuck everybody right there it's weird when you make I contact with anyone during the show let alone all of your people yeah but it was a great show I loved it Zan's like that's been on on The Bucket List weirdly I had a friend I just found the text message the other day but my friend who's really big into energy work and manifesting and I'm starting to become like I am becoming a woowoo girl 100% I am so there yes it is like it's real it is energy is real when you realize that energy has just as much force as like you hitting a nail in the wall with a hammer like I've been manifesting these moments for years and I've been imagining them and like really cultivating this experience for so long so that's why I just it feels so weird I feel like I'm in synchronicity with like an in congruence with where I'm supposed to be at right now because I've like I've pictured these moments for years before the echo came you know it's so cool I I too have done the same things like everyone that listens to this podcast are like shut up Caitlyn because I've told the story so many times but I just I do that and I've done it my whole life where I was like I knew I was somehow going to be on TV I knew I was going to have my own radio show it turns out to be a podcast I knew I was going to rescue golden retrievers I thought I would be with a country boy we're still working on that we're still working on it it could happen like so many things I wrote out I wanted to be an entrepreneur I wanted to do something in the world of wine like so many things and it's not just like okay I wrote it down but those are actually things that I could see myself doing and I remember I'd like before scrolling and phones I remember I would just lay in bed and see myself doing all of those things and I would dream about it and I'd wake up thinking about it yes and that is like when it happens 100% like I don't know if you've ever heard of the app called my human design no my favorite app okay tell me more so you put your birthday in you put the city you know all the things that would give you your sign you know it's not a horoscope it's not like going to tell you what your day a birth chart yeah it's like a birth chart and it really tells you like like your personality type and like how you feel things how you manifest things and like for me the way that I Manifest this is a very weird thing and it's very Niche so so bear with me on this but when I close my eyes I forgot what it's called but I can't visually see anything oh no way yeah it's like a rare instance but I can't dise yeah but I can't when I close my eyes like I can't visually make you guys up like in my brain where most people can like visually close their eyes and like see what they want to imagine I have to on like a physical level I have to feel what it is I'm trying to imagine so when I manifest a lot of people are visualizers and manifestations they close their eyes and they visually see it I have to close my eyes and feel on like a cellular cellular level of what I'm trying to accomplish so it's like this my human design app says that it's like supercharging your manifestation so because you're feeling it while also like internally seeing it but not being able to see it through your eyes which I know sounds really weird but makes sense that's that's how I manifest is like when I close my eyes I imagine what it's like to be on the Bridgestone stage and like just yeah and like and it's so supercharging and it like is like a dose of like caffeine like literally cuz I'll just sit there and I'll manifest and then when I'm done I'm just like bro like I I don't know when Bridgestone is happening but I saw I know it's happening I just don't know how old I'll be when it happens but I can't wait for that moment to come so just yeah so going back to my my human design it's great app that's so cool I just wish everybody could do that I feel like we all have so many numbing tools that we use and it's so interesting because why is it the things that we want so bad are like the hardest to do it's like you want that so bad so you make a point to sit there and feel what that would feel like for you to be in these situations and you've seen it come to life now at zany or wherever you're going soldout tours 25 million views on Tik toks like you've you you like have sat there and like made that happen and a lot of people will be like I'm just going to like scroll instead or I'm going to put on a TV show or I'm going to drink or whatever they are to I wonder why I don't know I don't think we've even as like a baby as a kid we're not taught to trust ourselves we're not taught to trust our instincts there's always somebody else always has the answer uh the doctor has the answer my mom has the answer my my teacher has the answer and I think at the end of the day it's Primal for us to trust ourselves and a lot of times we don't get to that point until we get older that something catastrophic happens and we're able to navigate our our way through it because we trusted our instincts or we're able to keep ourselves from making a bad decision where whether it's in a relationship or a career move because we trusted ourselves and I think the more you do that you build confidence around that your intuition and the answer lies always within you yeah and I think when you get back into the driver's seat that you you are are the the driver to your life is when you start to trust manifesting and when you start to trust that your dreams aren't too big you know like not only does social media numb but but it gives you so many other people's opinions yeah and it like I feel like it makes you lose your vision like do you spend a lot of time on social media as of lately I have and I I've been in a funk lately with that too just a lot of anxiety cuz I'm you're always watching other people's lives unfold instead of focusing on yourself and it's funny I know that I'm watching too much social media y yeah same my screen time doesn't even need to tell me like my body knows and then I'm I'm just like I should really I should really stop but it's it's an addiction it 100% is like it's so hard to stop go in and check your phone you know like yeah what's on my home screen and somebody texted me and yeah it's like it's like a ball and chain dude like it's crazy but everything's on there I'm like my text messages my emails my work my play my everything like that I do is on the phone know I know like I I'll catch myself just like being in the moment of doing something like yesterday I was cleaning my garage out yeah and I was organizing it and I'm having a great time listening to some country music and I'm like let me go check my phone and after I did it I was like why did you go check your phone you didn't even hear a notification go off your phone's on loud but it's just like that itch it's like going to drink water and going to pee like you're like it's just going to check my phone it's such a thing I know we get so distracted by it instead of like staying in our lane and knowing what we believe and what we want we're like but what is what are other people doing what do they think about it like it's so crazy so I feel like in this day and age I always feel so old when I say that it's even cooler that you can you know have those moments of knowing exactly where you want to be a lot of people don't know where they want to go or where they want to be I'm actually stuck in a funk right now of like where I want to go next or what I want to do next and I'm like I don't know and I it's cool to know yeah I I heard this saying the other day I say the other day it was like five years ago but I did US Southerners were like yeah the other day my grandma and it was like that was s years ago when your grandma told you that um your grandma's been dead three years grandma told you that from the grave uh but the saying was go where you're envious and whenever I heard that I was like bro that's so true like oh yeah that's where that's if you're envious of somebody that's they're doing what you want to do yeah so I have to check that with myself if I ever like get in a like place of like Envy which I think Envy is different than jealousy I think jealousy is wishing somebody Falls Envy en envious being envious is like they're doing something you want to do and it like itches you you know but I was like that's very interesting see that confuses me cuz I'm like do I want to have a baby cuz I see that sometimes but then I see my sister with a teenager and I go no I don't right yeah they grow up yeah they sure do they grow up that's why I keep telling my wife we're trying every night to have baby but nothing's happened yet I don't know something ain't working but no we are not trying to have a baby right now please do not let Mandy hear this cuz she is she want she goes in waves of like I'd love to have twins and then like the next day we're like man I I think we could be happy without kids yeah you know go back and forth all the time too I mean yeah that's another thing I find fascinating is watching other people talk about that because it's so controversial for some reason right it's just so wild how did you and Mandy meet uh we met on Instagram a yeah which is how long ago 2016 oh oh cute yeah she hopped on an Instagram live I I had I had one person on the Instagram live and it was Mandy which is bizarre yeah it's dude it was weird no way Instagram live had just rolled out Instagram live feature that day and it was like 1:00 in the morning and I was at the gym working out and at that's okay we're trying to Get Swole K holy [ __ ] at 1:00 a.m. yeah girl I was I I was a different animal back then wow that's amazing okay yeah now I'm you know Googling like cool sculpting and [ __ ] but um so I was at the gym I was like let's see what Instagram live is about well she was on the west coast so she was at 11:00 p.m. and she follows she followed me followed you yeah she followed me and I followed her and there was this guy working out and he had like Justin Bieber hair and I got so nervous when I saw her name pop up on my live that I literally I didn't know the guy I literally turn the camera and I go just me and Justin Bieber working out and the guy looks at me and he goes what the hell dude and I went anyways and so Mandy sent like a crying emoji and I was like yes I made her laugh you know even though I completely isolated that poor boy whatever yeah I felt bad for that dude I it was just awkward he was like what do I do to you and I was like you're like it's a bit yeah I was like I don't even know what to say to you right now I'm so sorry up 1: in the morning oh my gosh so wait you two followed each other so I followed her first what made you follow her she was hot okay good yeah so I was like she's really cute but I was in the closet so I was like I don't it's like a dog chasing a tire like you were in the closet in 2016 girl I'm like fresh out of the closet as of 2018 so yeah I know you would have thought like every everybody around me was like d it's a glass closet like we know we know D and I was like now wait why was it so hard for you uh sum it up let's see uh just Southern Roots everything I'm so Canadian I'm like why was it hard I like why could you just get out I was like it's so easy to be a lesbian like being gay is the new thing d like everybody's que um well that's like on my vision board that there we go that's what I'm manifesting being gay is that's what I'm titling this podcast oh you have to being gay it's on my visual introducing the ultimate makeup multitasker the Covergirl simply ageless skin perfector Essence it's truly like having a makeup filter in a bottle and what sets this product apart Emil ask powered by micro droplet technology its pigmented capsules burst upon application seamlessly blending to give you a sheer Flawless tint that feels like Second Skin I know because I use it but here's the real kicker it's not just makeup it's also skin care too it's genius it's infused with a plant-based retinol alternative and it works wonders to smooth out wrinkles and enhance skin firmness and with an impressive 71% water content it quenches your Skin's thirst providing a burst of hydration that last all day it's literally a hydration Powerhouse and that skin-like finish in my opinion it's everything your complexion will look plump refreshed radiantly youthful with eight versatile Shades available there's a perfect match for every skin tone plus I'm obsessed with the radiant bare skin filter effect it gives it's just kind of my go-to for those fun nights out with friends or achieving a fresh natural look on a laid-back day podcasting whatever is I'm doing plus knowing that it's just a clean vegan cruelty-free beauty product adds an extra layer of confidence so if you're ready to experience the magic of covergirl's Simply ageless skin perfector Essence look no further Embrace effortless Beauty courtesy of easy breezy beautiful Covergirl this show is sponsored by better help you know we all carry around different stressors big and small sometimes keeping them bottled up can really take a toll but here's the thing therapy offers a safe space to get things off your chest and to figure out how to navigate whatever is weighing you down now I've seen firsthand the incredible incredible benefits of therapy not just for those who' have experienced major trauma it's for anyone looking to learn positive coping skills set boundaries ultimately become the best version of themselves and therapy is kind of like a gym for your mind you know so if you're considering starting therapy why not give better h a try it is entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule plus with better help you can fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapist anytime for no additional charge so talk about putting you in the driver's seat of your mental Health journey I love that get it off your chest with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com fine to get 10% off your first month that's betterhelp.com fine growing up in Alabama I can't even imagine I I didn't even put that together because yeah it's I I wish more people were like you well and I didn't mean to say it like why is it so hard I meant it more like why for you personally was it well it was really hard because I had told my parents when I was younger that I was confused why I like the girls and not the boys and that didn't go well got it at all so and that was when I was like nine so you know when you're at such a formative age and they're already telling you what that you're wrong yep so but yeah when I did finally come out one of the first things um that was said to me was that I was like an alcoholic I was just addicted to my sexuality and that yeah and then I could break that if I just uh gave it up to the Lord oh God so that was like another message like oh you can't be a Christian and also be gay so that was very confusing but um yeah girl we are we are out of that closet and life is serous now this is maybe too deep or maybe it's okay what is your relationship with religion now it's it's definitely moved from organized religion going to the you know church and worshiping in the you know that situation to more of a spiritual relationship with God MH I let a lot of other people tell me how God loved me Y and a lot of times it was always like their hatred was always Justified because of their religion yeah and a quote that stuck with me was you worship a condemning God whereas I worship a loving God yeah I heard that I love that and I that's that really resonated with me because I was like we're allowing people to tell us how God loves us yep and I I choose to believe that God is a loving God Y and so yeah so it's it's a lot of work to go through that well because it's years of conditioning that you have to get rid of and but it's must be so freeing to like work towards like every year must get better yeah cuz you're probably what is Mandy is Mandy like was she always Mandy's very spiritual she comes from a family she's from California so her upbringing upbringing was a little bit different um but like Mandy's mom is really spiritual and very loving just loves Jesus and doesn't let other people tell her how Jesus loves her and her mother was very healing for me cuz I do think though that there was a time where had Mandy's mom not come into play I think there could have been a really easy moment to view religion as a very um hateful Community yeah and I think I could have easily taken a detour and went left and said this this religion has caused me so much pain and so much hurt but I think I just chose to see it through a different perspective I think that's so cool I'm kind of my own Journey with that right now of like I've always been very spiritual but then I've met someone recently who very much talks about like prayer and God and I've realized that there's it's all like very similar and it was just how I was viewing yeah because of online trolls to be honest with you because they were always the the Christians were always the nastiest the people with the Bible verses were always the meanest and I started getting angry at that and this person has kind of opened my eyes to like a new way of thinking and I think it's so cool yeah it really is cuz I don't know there's just you're right though I don't know why that is and obviously there's very loving Christians out there yeah oh yeah but yeah some of the meanest messages I get regarding my relationship are Bible verses or people of a certain religious background and I'm like you realize you catch more bees with honey yeah you know yeah I always like there's there's this skit I do in my head in your head in my head yeah I do and I have to it on us now so whenever somebody sends me a hateful message and it's wrapped up in religion yeah I always have to giggle because this is how I imagine them getting to Heaven they're at the Pearly Gates yeah and they're like and God's like Welcome To The Kingdom my child and they're like thanks God it's so good to be here and he's like are you proud of the work you did on Earth and they're like oh yeah no like I ostracized all of the gays like the gays you don't have to worry about them they know they're wrong okay and then God looks at the at the child and is like you completely messed up the mission yeah you know like that's where I have to get in my head is like do they really think that they're going to get more crowns in heaven on or more jewels on their Crown in Heaven by making other people feel small right you know so it does always fascinate me I feel like there's got to be some sort of documentary that's to be made about people like that because it doesn't make sense yeah yeah it's it's a it's a weird I I think it's almost like a weird form of like narcissism yeah yes but not again like there's like Mandy's mom for instance she's also a Christian but she just is like come all as you are like let's love God together how it should be that's do you know who Becca Tilly is yes she has such um a beautiful way of saying kind of what you're saying as well like feels the same way um and she never felt you know comfortable I'm not want to speak for her but like never felt comfortable growing up with how she was feeling and she grew up in Louisiana I believe and she kind of was so confused about her relationship with God and then now she's kind of on that other side now where it's just like so much better yeah wouldn't you want to live in a place of like non-judgment and love like because like at the end of the day like if we're all living as our higher self our better self we're better people to other people yeah I just don't believe you can have a heart full of and also be happy no you can't those two can't reside in the same vessel so I like the way you talk by the way appreciate that yeah thanks man because it's you have good um vocabulary oh well thank you wow D damn I do not and I notice it in other people all the time because I'm like I wish I could talk like I don't know if you give yourself enough credit we're going to have to talk about this it's a whole thing I'm I went to therapy right now I was there yesterday for 2 hours I'm going tomorrow so we can go together oh my God imagine the same one and we didn't know say her name on three 1 2 3 Angela thank God I was like Melanie's got tot lips Lord I always no that one time I went to my therapist office and she had and this was like right after I came off the show she had gossip magazines laid out on her table and it had my face on them like [ __ ] shaming me no in my therapist office and I walked in and I was like uh-oh oh I had to tell her about it I once went to a therapist and she didn't know I was gay and now I anytime I start with a new therapist not that I do this all the time but anytime I like move or whatever I have to ask are do you have a problem with people being gay because I walked in and we're sitting there okay this is a really sidebar subject all right but I went to therapy when I was in college because I was dealing with my sexuality but I was so ashamed of my sexuality that I didn't want to tell my therapist I was gay I just thought naturally we could get to point if I went long enough okay so I'm St I'm sitting there and she's like so what brings you in today D and I'm like well I'm on the softball team here at the University of Alabama and I don't know I just I struggle with peer pressure and she goes oh no do your teammates do they pressure you to be gay is that what it is could it is is it is it wrapped up in that now granted it didn't happen just like that we eventually got to that point and I was like they do and I don't want to be yay so then I affirm her belief so then I went to this crazy lady for 4 weeks straight so that we could talk about she was also a religious counselor but yes then we could talk about it that just goes to show you what a people pleaser I was back then is that I was paying this woman to tell me that being gay was strong when I paid her originally to help me not feel bad about that is like the definition of a people pleaser almost like a little more more than that yeah like I thought about writing like eventually writing like some sort of sketch comedy around now like I'm paying this woman to dig me deeper into the hole you have to oh it was messed up oh man that just Mak I want to go back and like give 2015 you a hug me too yeah that's me too well I also want to give this 2015 Caitlyn a hug don't we all yeah you should do a bit about that on your tour I think I have to yeah is like when you tour and places like the South do you have some sort of therapeutic release being like like I get to be on stage now and use this as a bit I won't lie it's like a very awesome feeling yeah being in the South where I was told by not to go into too much detail about this but I was told by a family member growing up that if I were to come out and live my like live authentically as who I am that it would hurt my career I wouldn't find a spouse that was normal because people that are a part of the lgbtq community are weirdos I wouldn't make good money because people wouldn't hire a gay person so I was told all these things and I was I was a listener so I was air I was like oh okay yes ma'am yes ma'am yes ma'am you know and so they thought that I needed this information I was enjoying it so I was continuing to be fed that yeah so those were really self-limiting beliefs that I had to get over yeah but when I just did my hometown show in Birmingham at the stardome it was my biggest show yet and I'm sitting there there and I'm able to talk about funny stories about my wife and not even bad an eye or worry at all about using the word wife and like the crowd just was fully embracing it and it felt like a God wink yeah like yep it it I'll get emotional if I talk about too much but it it it really was like a euphoric feeling I mean it just was amazing so happy like that makes my eyes water and I'm not you like I'm just hearing the story and I'm like wow I love full circle moments especially when they're like just so like the god wi thing I love that thought like you got this yeah I love that that's what would you say is like the highlight of your first tour I really enjoyed my first show in Greenbow yeah just cuz it was an hour set and I have never done any more than a 4minute open mic night at that point I I didn't talk about it beforehand because I didn't want people to put a lot of pressure on me I wanted them to think that I had done stand up before but I did open mike KN at a coffee shop and I got four minute a four minute time slot and in that moment I was like let's rock and roll baby well that was back in 2022 and then I never did anything else again and then I got signed by my agent and they were like what's your goal and I was like I want to go on tour and um they're like well have you ever done any standup before and I remember telling my agent I was like oh yeah all the time I was like yeah I was like I'm not lying because I did that four minute open mic night but I remember the Greenville show was a moment for me where it gave me so much confidence cuz I was like I wrote my entire show and I was able to go up there and have a great show and it went so well and I was like always bet on you baby yes like bet on you cuz like if there's something you want bad enough and you know you can do it bet on you yeah so that was I I would say my first ever show in green bow was the one where I was like we're ready to rock and roll that's a good way to start too yeah I love that I usually start with the low Vibes and end on the high Vibes but I picked it up so what was the low Vibe of the tour low Vibe um I got really sick the morning of the uh Nashville show no yeah I think I had done a meet and greet every show where I was hugging 50 people I think I caught something yeah um towards the end of the leg of the tour and so I had to go to uh the doctor the morning of the Nashville show my BP was 90 over 60 oh no but I was like NOP can't cancel the hometown show like we got to just muster through it so this probably wasn't the best idea but I guzzled down Celsius drink and decided to just rock and roll that's how you what kind of sickness I don't know I don't know I think you like puking no it wasn't puking my I just felt very weak and my my be my blood pressure was just really low I felt very lethargic and tired so I was like good for you putting celsa in in these veins and we're going for it that'll do it but yeah that if you want to call that a low point we ended up rocking and rolling but I got a little nervous that day cuz I was like Mandy what do I do if I I can't muster this up she was like you're mustering it up she's like smacks your butt you get out there she's like put your big girl paint on let's go wait I love that wait she sounds amazing she's incredible wow she's yeah she's incredible and is she funny she's hilarious but she's really she's hilar she's very funny but she's an incredible writer so a lot of the stuff that yeah she's oh that's cool yeah she's an incredible writer there's times where I'll come to her with a joke and then she'll go what about what if you just rearrange that a little bit and I'm like how do you know like I love that that's cuz you also do music yeah what the heck I know bro I don't know I don't I don't I say I don't know I I I do know yeah you know tell me about it I you do like parodies not parodies it's uh it's like it's country songs but they're just funny so they're not like Weird Al yank vict you know where where it's like those old school him yeah me too but yeah I I've always grown up listening to Comedy country music and I I just have gravitated towards the Two Worlds cuz I am country and I do comedy so and I live in Nashville so I was like let's start releasing some country comedy music like I amazing let's blend the two together so we've put out two songs but we've written so many and I'm itching to put out more music yeah so more to come but so what like tell me about a song that you like the one about where you told your grandma it was about boating yeah tell me about this song so that song uh there's a say in down south and it's it's not meant to be crude it's it's like actually talking about horses yeah and it's called like they'll say damn that horse has been rode hard and put up wet cuz like a horse like sweats really bad and if you don't groom it after you just say it was rode hard and put up wet my POA would always talk about his trucks like that he'd say yeah I rode that truck hard and put it up wet and it's in his mind he is not saying it in like a crude way they it's truly like a saying of like you showered down and rote it hard you know but we were coming home from the Mastercraft boating facility I did a campaign with them and as we were driving home I told Mandy I was like babe I'm ready to release another song or to release my first song and I want it to be called Road hard and put up wet and I want it to be about a woman Mandy looked at me and she goes are you crazy she's like in this climate it can't be about a woman she's like that is not going to be received well at all she's like even though I think it's funny yeah she goes let's make it about a boat and I was like girl how do you come up with this [ __ ] so did you make it about a boat but then have you made it about a boat but all the words in there are like very like like their innuendos about a woman so it's like the buoys were bouncing I was uping and down and getting all I could get you know and it's like then like the second verse is like when I took her out again she told me to bring a friend both of us would go mod or boating so it's like yes it's all about a boat genius and you can't say otherwise but yeah my grandmother was like my sister Betty called me the other day and said you put a nasty song out and I listened to it and I called her back and I said Betty it's about a boat and she goes no it's not Mary Jane it's about a woman and Mary Jan goes I'm telling you Betty it's about a boat and you better watch out cuz she's probably going to write one called bitching Betty if you keep after it and I was like that'd be a great song I mean there's really nothing better than an old southern woman amen they need their own TV show she does or a bit like a Sharon Jean my Alter Ego gives Mary Jane plenty of air time got it yeah how many characters do you have hell it's getting out of hand at this point I think we got nosy neighbor Karen we got Judy the habosa what who that Judy is a German French Russian sometimes Asian hobby horsa she does a lot of hobby horsing where she teaches you how to uh hobby horse she just repeats hobby horsing constantly my God uh Sharon Jean the southern woman yes I remember her she's my obviously my favorite yeah we just you know we just have fun with it lith Belinda got a bad lith but oh my God she's very lovable I used to do that all the time I used to create characters all the time when I was big on Snapchat because they have all the different faces I used to sit for hours I I should go back to that I loved creating characters with different faces and different names and when I did with my girlfriend called Kathy and Theresa but you couldn't call her Teresa she pronounced it Theresa Theresa yeah and all I'll find the video and send it to you and then you can be dead honest with me and if you think it's funny tell me and if you're like it's not that good do you have fun making it though yes then post that stuff I'm telling you cuz when you're having fun like it'll just come naturally to you and you'll find that Rhythm God that's so I can tell you're itching like you were itching to get back into like this form of like comedic space on your socials do it oh my God I was so funny on my tour for this podcast like I was like in front of a crowd I could just go you just work yeah Do It Go seriously I think it makes me so happy Stars put us together today that's true and one of those reasons is so that you give yourself permission to go off and live your best life and do what you want to do on social media do it I needed that yeah who and there's no such thing as like there's literally no such thing is failure when you are enjoying what you're doing this is such a big part of my therapy conversation yesterday she said I'm so disconnected with what I think I should be doing compared to with what when I just do what I want to do yes and I'm like I never thought I would be here I've done 10 years 10 years plus of therapy and I just I continue to think I'm growing and then I get backwards a little bit and stuck and I go how am I here again yeah well I want to say I don't I want to say like we've become so accustomed to look at how many likes something gets with what the engagement looks like yeah that that's how we measure what we should be doing it's true okay you guys know that feeling when you find that one piece of clothing that just fits like it was made for your bod well skims has cracked the code when it comes to the perfect t-shirt seriously from cropped cuts to long sleeves they've got something for everyone I've been living actually in my skims gray t-shirt and you guys know how much I adore my Basics right well I have been living in skim teas lately and their cotton Jersey t-shirt for instance has become an absolute staple in my wardrobe the way it kind of cinches at the waist gives me life and after countless washes still holds its shape like a champ I've also gotten the cotton Jersey long sleeve in color bone which is practically glued to me these days it's versatile it's comfy and that color I wore it traveling I wore it to get to the gym I wore it around the house the other day it's just dreamy and then the boyfriend t-shirt Kate boyfriend t-shirt in light heather gray it's like borrowing your man's shirt but with a fit that's actually made for you it's like that perfect boyfriend fit and the material is so comfortable these pieces are wardrobe gold okay trust me once you try it you won't want to wear anything else head over to skims.com and dive into their T-shirt shop and did I mention that they now offer sizes double XS to 4X so yes inclus as its finest and hey when you make your purchase don't forget to let them know that I sent you just select podcast in the survey and pick off the vine from the drop- down menu did you ever get hit with a cringey memory of your 13-year-old self out of nowhere and some are Panic sweating and laughing at the same time don't don't worry don't worry we all get that it's because being an adolescent is one of the most visceral shared experiences we have as people and we want to talk about it join me pen Badgley and my two friends Nava and Sophie on pod Crush as we interview celebrity guests about the joys and horrors of being a teenager and how those moments made them who they are today new episodes of podc crush are out on April 24th wherever you get your podcasts wait do you have a you have a podcast I do tell me about it so my wife and I we started a podcast months ago I knew this you started it with Mandy okay tell us tell everybody what they will get if they listen to you both so it's called the refined and Rowdy show and it is just that yeah we have the refined put together Mandy yeah and then we have myself and it's pretty much just like private conversations of Mandy and I discussing certain topics and me giving a Rowdy perspective or opinion on it and Mandy giving her refined opinion about it and most of the time we all we come together at the end and we both agree and have the same point of view yeah but we just have two ways of of of getting there but like yesterday or tomorrow's episode is going to be like an episode of would you rather so it's just Mandy and I asking each other would you rather questions and what my brain comes up with is like would you rather have sex with a ghost or's like man's like would you rather not be able to sleep tonight come on D that was the good one and I'm like that's my everyday life Mandy so wait give me one of your bests would you rathers I want to hear uh well Mandy goes would you rather sleep with a homeless man or and I go well can we bathe first and she's like no as if like that was like the biggest punchline ever and I was like what's the next one she's like or do your entire tour butt naked and I'm like do my entire tour but naked Mandy like I don't want to sexually assault a homeless man and she's like oh my God I was not saying sexually assault like it was consensual and I'm like like so stuff like that where you just get to see like both sides but yeah the best I could come up with was uh would you rather rob a woman who has three children and she's working four jobs to make ends meet and you can never give her the money back or you have to hit someone with your car and you end his professional soccer career and Mandy goes you're so demented so then I just look like a complete she like doesn't answer so then I just looked like I'm completely hung out to dry on the podcast like I have like just a sick demented sense of humor so it's like stuff like that that's would you rather is meant to go as up as you possibly can in my with a ghost I was going to say with a goat now you know that might get us taken off of Spotify but I'd be willing to push those boundaries well I my would you rather was have sex with a goat Jesus and have nobody know about it oh my God High School wi or not have sex with a goat but everyone thinks you had sex with a goat 100% second like absolutely I wonder if I just butchered that I heard it somewhere and it was a lot harder than CU I just said that out loud and went obviously you're like man is it sex with a goat or ghost H maybe it was Ghost what if it was Ghost wait also you said this earlier but you were like a star uh not soccer um softball softball player I didn't say that that I think that was your research just to go back I did not call myself a star softball you're right you're right you didn't you did say that you were a softball player in University which is a big deal yeah which I know is very shocking to a lot of people that lesbians played softball um but yes I played softball at the University of Alabama do you think that like I I always wonder this about people like the way you grew up being like softball player star in University softball Force to be gay yes yeah did it I'm just like that therapist did it make you be gay absolutely but like and you were a realtor and like you've done all do you think it like shapes your sense of humor and who you are being a realtor in my small town yeah you [ __ ] gave me enough material for a decade trigger warning on this story um cuz it is a little sensitive on the topic of of losing life but okay so I was new to being a real estate agent but I had just come off of playing softball at Alabama and I was on ESPN I was the short stop so they were showing our games constantly because we were we were really good we had won the National Championship so there's a lot of hype around the team yeah and I had gotten this message from this man and and he wanted to see a house and the house didn't have electricity cuz it was vacant and he was like I want to see it at 7:30 p.m. or like 7:00 and I was like well sir if we could get there before the sun goes down it doesn't have electricity that way you can really see the house and he's like no I can only do it at night and I was like are you sure blah blah he's like yeah I'm sorry I can't see it another day and I need to see it when I get off work so I didn't feel comfortable showing this man yeah the house so I asked my mom to come who was also a real estate agent and we get to the house and I should have known the moment we pulled up and this man got out of his car with an airbrush t-shirt of a naked woman sitting on a Harley-Davidson no that things were getting weird yeah that's a sure sign and he never once mentioned anything thing about me playing softball at Alabama okay so we're walking into the house and as we're walking in he goes wow you look like you could be a gymnast and I go what I was like no I'm like 5 foot N I was like my toes would drag the ground if I was on those bars trying to make a joke you know doesn't laugh and he goes yeah you look like a gymnast to me and I was like yeah not me anyway so we start walking through the house so we're about 5 minutes so uncomfy oh it gets good oh God we're walking through the house and he says about 5 minutes in he goes you know my mom and I before she died we tooted every single one of your games at Alabama and I went oh so you knew you knew I played softball yeah no way you were a gymnast and I was like that's so weird but I was like okay he's just a Super Fan so we're showing the house and he goes down to the basement so when he goes down to the basement he's like y'all come down here with me blah and I was like no no no no no never go down to the basement with him I was like no I was like we're going to stay up here I was like you head on down there so while he's down in the basement I get my phone out and I go to Facebook to see if this man's ever sent me any messages and I don't have any messages so I checked my hidden request oh God and I had over 150 messages from this guy just scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling scrolling terrifying let me tell you what happens when you're a people pleaser I know what you do I go down to the basement I was just going to say don't tell you went down to the basement down to the basement I go he goes hey there's a bad mold problem down here y'all might want to come check this out so I was like no it's okay trying to laugh at off he's like no I'm serious y'all need to come check this mold problem out so my mom and I go down to the basement together looking at this mold problem there is a mold problem I have a gun on me okay and I know that might be weird to a lot of people but when you're in real state agent I would too I and as a female I always would like hide a gun on me and I had a concealed weapons license but I had a jacket on yeah so you couldn't see it yeah this guy goes just like this well that sure was easy to get y'all down to the basement my mom and I's heart just sank like it was in this moment where you see a movie and you're like this is where I die I don't want to offend The Man by pulling a gun on him cuz I'm such a people I'm a different person now now now it's own okay um but back then I was a different person so I'm like in my mind I'm like okay I know I have this here he goes well that sure was easy to get you down to the basement and I my mom and I just kind of went and he goes you know I was on the rifle team in the Air Force and I was like keeps getting I was like uh okay and he goes just like this grab like throws his shirt back boom takes a gun out immediately and is holding the gun out and then he goes I feel like this is a bit and you're about to break me no no seriously and me my mom and I were just like this is this is where we die this is where we die and then he just goes boom and Pops the magazine out and he goes ah you think I'm going to shoot you I just wanted to show you how easy it is to get two women down in the basement you don't know if I've got a gun on me he goes go ahead hold this magazine you hold it so you know I'm not a creep and I was like I grabbed the mag I grabbed the magazine and as I'm holding it I just throw my jacket back and I go well I got one too and you could see on his face like it didn't register that I would even have one of those and he was just like good girl e e e so then we go upstairs I I don't even walk the guy out I go get in the car he's parked behind me cuz I'm an idiot and parked in the driveway and let him block me in and then as I know like the story just gets better start my car I have the window roll down and I'm like can you please let us out like like go like we we need to leave I'm reporting you blah blah blah he goes in his car gets a three- ring binder out that's like 3 in thick brings it over to where we are in the car and starts flipping through all these listings of homes he goes this is how many people I've got to see look at all these houses think of how many Realtors I've I've been able to come in contact with so I immediately called the board of realtors put him on the no-show list no [ __ ] and I didn't call the police because he freaked me out so much and I know this is like such a bad mindset now I would yeah yeah but I was like this guy knows my phone number know can pull up where I live this guy is obviously so obsessed with me that even after I'm done playing his favorite sport he sought me out and drove two and a half hours up to Birmingham was going to ask if he's so I don't know what the that was back in 26 2017 I believe so I don't know what the guy's up to now but I'm telling you dude that was when I was like wait that is the scariest [ __ ] I've ever heard in my life what if he comes to one of your shows well now I'll be ready for you yeah I don't know I don't know let's pray to God that doesn't happen would you know him if you saw him yeah you should like I proba just kick him you should have a photo I just K little tap get out of here you you get out of here get out of here boy pulling a gun on me today my God put that gun away Bobby you need to print a photo of him and have it at every show and give it to security like that's so scary yeah he's a he's a yeah Nutty Nutty man I hate him I hate him so much but like what's crazy is like how much Evolution can happen in someone's brain that that was like that's how I responded back then and like how I would respond now would be totally different but when you're in like a people pleasing mindset you're just I get in those zones too and I'm like and then the next day I'm always like who are you Kaitlyn the shame on you right you feel so bad yeah I'm like dude he pulled a gun on you and you had a gun and you just like like what you're also probably in like a freeze mode of like yeah I've never had anyone pull a gun on me I would I would die I I was like this isn't going to be good for business if local real estate agent shoots shoots man that didn't want to buy the house from her you know like how are they going to spend this oh that's so we know how PR Works looks at her P God you're amazing oh I've really enjoyed my time with you today did you really I sound like an old I've enjoyed my time with you enjo my time with you too I did it was nice it was really nice you're a wonderful person Kaitlyn you really are I'm so glad we got to meet okay well thank you we still have to prank call though oh let's do it who should we call okay let's try my sister yes there we go let's keep it the fam keep in the fam what's like a funny idea you've done give me some like like generalizations about her of like what she does or oh God she like lives in this very small town where I grew up and she prints sains on mugs like don't talk to me till I've had my coffee somebody told me you make these mugs okay say you say you want to you were wondering if she could make a mug that say that says says big butts drive me nuts you think she would pick up on it or do you think I don't know weird people live in my small town let's try okay what's her first name Haley Haley thanks for calling D with gray hey can I speak to Haley um who's calling please uh Sharon um yes you know what she's just with a customer right now can I have her give you a sh back um I actually have to go to work here really soon is there someone else I can talk to it's an yeah try and help you out great um who is this that I'm talking to this is Janelle hey Janelle my name is Sharon so good to meet you you too yeah so my friend that lives down the street for me I just recently um moved to leuk um from Louisiana and okay I am having a party um we do a lot of rodeos um yeah and so we have a group um they are coming in uh from Vancouver and we're doing a homosexual Rodeo um we're going to have about 90 homosexuals and um I was wondering a lot of them are uh gay men and their their favorite saying is Big Butts drive me nuts okay and we were wanting to put that on a pair of shorts like on the the seat of the shorts and embro and embroider it you know yep and I was just wondering if that's something that you guys could do um definitely it is so the one thing right off the Hop though we don't offer embroidery what we we offer like it's called DTF so it's like a film that we um press onto um shorts um or whichever kind of material or or what you're looking for um we don't typically offer shorts but I can definitely order in a sample for you okay um and Haley the reason I originally asked for is because Haley uh she actually organized our last homosexual Rodeo um she's really big in the community she does a lot oh okay yeah yeah she doesn't she doesn't talk about it a lot but she does a lot of Outreach on behalf of the um we do goat ropin homosexual Goat ropin as well oh okay yeah and Haley's been a big help in that as well okay awesome um can I talk to Haley real quick if she's uh by chance cuz Haley still in the front right now and that's why I'm confused I don't know if it's the same Haley ah no she well Haley's re uh the only reason I know it's Haley is because she's good friends with a friend of mine Betsy and yeah I think it is the same Haley because Haley loves the goat ropin over the rodeos that's her favorite see and that's why I'm wondering if it's the same Haley but I will defin she might just be finishing up here she is so funny I'll tell you about Haley real quick Haley is when I realized me and Haley are going to be good friends is when uh at the goat roping Haley wore a shirt that says I have sex with goats oh see I don't know if it's the right it's the same Haley I'm not sure if it is is she friend not friends she's sisters with Caitlyn yeah yep that's it yep okay okay well then you've got it yeah I can hear her just saying goodbye so I um I would be the one that would be helping you with this project either way but I will I'll let you chat with her now and then um yeah if she wants to pass it back over okay great okay one sec here Sharon one sec you're Shar you know she's filling her in right now she's she's filling her in Kaitlyn's sister y that's her she's giving her the B I bet you my sister's like is my is this my sister prank calling me my sister used to do the prank calls with me I'm that was Haley's got nothing to do with the homosexual yeah right my sister just had a drag show two days ago she loves it hi this is Haley hi Haley this is Sharon hi Sharon hey do you remember doing those oh God what did we have made I think they were shorts they were like swim trunks and they we never made swim trunks no okay it they must have been like little briefs or something but they said big butts drive me nuts on them I know that we didn't do those no no no it wasn't us oh um yeah is that what you're looking for yes I'm gonna start mimicking her accent are you sure yeah I'm positive because we've never done briefs or anything or swim trunks or anything like that we only do shirts and yes will oh know like no I wonder if you're looking are you like was it another maker from luk uh I think it was you Haley because we had talked about it because you you said you wanted to volunteer for the homosexual goat roping that night what yeah [Laughter] she said you want to volunteer you said you wanted to volunteer for the homosexual goat R wait you can't tell who this is Haley oh my God Kaitlyn no did wait Haley could you tell she was switching her accent to try and match yours no I didn't know louc right now yes oh my I was like I was like surely Haley will be like is is this off the vine pranking me cuz you done a prank me I had my professional voice on and I was like like I really we don't think that was us oh my God God j's got it all written down here for meou go I don't know Sharon from Louisiana oh my please please send a picture of the notes please I will send a picture of the notes uh I hope that I hope that I hope that made your day a little bit better it did that was a good laugh thank you Janelle even wrote down 0 homosexual that is homosexual wait Haley do you know do you know who D Hayes is from Tik Tok yeah that's who I'm with right now oh no way hi that's that's Sharon oh Sharon you did a great job oh oh thanks a thanks a amazing say okay I'll call you later okay love you love you bye bye she's so sweet when cuz she was trying not to like seem disrespectful like no what you're not what you're wanting to do is not Val like not not valid no no took me out I was like Sarah Palin I can see Russia from my backyard literally I there's moose in Russ wait you guys your accent you must have lost it a little I did I did I've been I feel like I've been living in the states for8 years and I feel like I lost it yeah but I never sounded as Canadian as she did I never did her and my dad listening to them talk back and forth she'll go oh I know way oh I know way and I'm like Kate you almost sound like you're from like duth like isn't that the place yeah but she also there's like I've always said this Canadians are the sweetest kindest people I've never met a mean Canadian um know and the fact that you guys always answer with an answer at the end hey like you're going to confirm that question confirm that yeah we really do I love it though she's very sweet so shout out to Haley that was everything like that was the best prank I've ever been a part of oh wow man I just put y'all in my back pocket and carry y'all home I would think we had to leave the room at one yeah I was like I'm out of here I'm going to start D wow okay that probably made their day that made mine you made my day you made my day I'm so happy I got to be on this podcast with you I'm so happy tell everybody where they can find you and where they can find your podcast and your tour dates and all the things if you're doing another one yeah so uh tour dates uh Chattanooga Knoxville in this month and then Raleigh North Carolina next month and we're going to continue to add add add uh but you can find me on Instagram at D Hayes d n AE h a Ys Tik Tok ha and then my podcast with my wife refined and rowy is on Spotify and apple music awesome wow what a great day yes I enjoyed this for sure did you guys have fun everything I can't believe this is my job I know right I'm Caitlyn Bristo I'll see you next Tuesday see you next Tuesday