Mariska Hargitay Career Retrospective | Conversations at the SAG-AFTRA Foundation

and it was funny when I when I got the audition for SVU my manager called me and he goes listen I got a script for you I don't think you're going to like it it's very dark and it was so you know I understood why he said that because I was leaning toward this dramedy I was leaning toward comedy and then I read SVU it was called sex crimes at the time and I was like sold done I knew it was my part I knew it I mean I knew it was my part I wanted it yeah I didn't know it was my part right right um I got I guess I did though yeah but it was just so I loved it I loved it it was so right I'd never loved anything more and that's when I started auditioning for it wow without further Ado please welcome the incredible Marishka har thank you Jessica [Music] hi thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you oh sit down now I can't tell you guys by the way when mishko found out that the entire audience is is actors of all age groups and everything you were so excited and I loved that because this is this is for you and and these are my favorite conversations to host kind of like this is your life um so thank you for being here you're welcome and and that is true because I'm doing a couple panels this week and uh I was so excited to be asked um by sag and to talk to my fellow actors because that's what um excites me and inspires me the most so okay so I think we're all we're going to be here till like midnight cuz all the CL like I know I said are they allowed to ask questions from the audience and they go no okay all right 551 episodes of SVU and Counting 20 a thank you 25 Seasons 20 years of Joyful heart 20 years of marriage you just told variety that at 60 years old you are just getting started and I thought if she's just getting started at 60 with all that then I am slacking and I have got to get on it so what did you mean by 60 and just getting started which I love to hear but also what you have done is more than most of us will ever do in our lifetimes you know um turning 60 was um just a very exciting time for me because you know uh my 20s were so angsty right and I didn't really start working um consistently until my 30s and then you know the 40s you're working it you're working it you're working it and the 50s were great but for me personally um this year feels like when the wisdom set in and a peace set in and I was able to be more present with all of it and one of the ways and the actors will all understand this um is when I see that I saw the sizzle and when I see it and I notied like when I started the show my voice was so high right and then you see the scenes now and I'm like I'm just getting started so that is one of the one of the things where you feel like I've just finally sort of dropped into myself and I feel um very powerful in a way that it's just lacks fear and because for all of us especially as actors we are you know people pleasing it's what do they think do they like me did I do it right do I do I did I did I should I should I second guessing and then it gets to the point and this is the gift of acting every day the gift of acting every day is I act for myself now because I know better and I trust myself I think that's what it is it's trust um did I feel it did I believe it it doesn't matter before it's like is are they happy do they like it do they like it and it's like m they don't know I know because I did it and I feel it and do I believe myself so that's that's a lot of the journey is the trust and I wish like I want to say that to younger actors is I wish I trusted myself more and I understood that the only way you're going to get hired is if you believe it and I always tell the story um which was such a great story um do you know my ER story which one which one well there's only one that's really great I mean I've got two actually okay but one one time um I was reading for ER you know the show and um I walked in it was audition named for it and I walked into the room and when I walked in I immediately saw six blondes like like you know petite soft you know blonde hair kind of uh gentle gentle spirits and then I walk in there and I'm like you know and so the second that I saw the other women I went oh this is not my part like this is not happening for me and it took all the pressure off because I went oh they're never going to cast me they're never going to cast me they don't want this and so I thought oh I'll just have fun with it so I go in the room and it it was um this character Cynthia Hooper I guess you know the end of the story but but um I I walk in the room and I do my audition and I'm just doing it for me because I know I'm not going to get it so I said just do it as an acting exercise see how far you can go with the truth and I leave the room and I said to myself well I couldn't have done that any better I did everything that I wanted to do s of magic happened I was fully present blah blah blah blah blah and I left so I get home and I get the call you did a great job they're going another way so I'm like wow okay well it's not my fault because because I I did everything I wanted I could I wouldn't have changed a thing in the audition that's very rare well it had been for me anyway extremely rare where you leave there instead of going oh I should have could have would have so um I leave there I get another audition the next day and it's for some stupid show and I hated it and I you know but I had to go on it because I needed a job so I go on this audition I'm terrible at it and then it was the same casting director John leevy and I said John what happened yesterday and he goes I don't know you were fantastic I go right and he said he goes yeah and I said let's go talk to John Wells you did yes I did and he goes excuse me and I said yeah let's go he goes all right he goes all right and he just was laughing at the HSPA of this girl so I walk March in there and I go hi I'm Marishka har is John Wells here and the woman is like do you have an appointment and I said I know no I don't but he knows who I am so out of the office wait was John Wills in the audition with you he was okay okay yes so so I go into the um I just go there and John comes out and I say hey John he goes hey Marishka he goes great job yesterday and so I said and I don't know where I had the sort of audacity or courage but I said John so I have a question did anybody do better than I did and he goes uh uh no and I said but I didn't get the part he goes you know marish I'd like to cast closer to type and I said oh so you're telling me that I didn't get the part because you know me and know that I'm have a strong personality and I have dark hair and dark features and um it's lightened right now but but and he said and I said but you're telling me I was the best one for the role and he said yeah and by the time I got home I got the park okay and that was awesome and that was awesome and it was life-changing so what did you ever ask him what changed for him like did they hire wait did they but wait had they hired someone else yet no this was in 1997 right I know that but like had they hired any because they said they weren't going with you they had I don't know and I don't care I mean why I mean it was yours it was mine it was mine I knew it and if I hadn't done as well as I did I wouldn't have said that I wouldn't have the nerve right but I knew I could kill it good for you it was was one of those things and that's the thing that I want to tell artists is insist on your own Vision because you know right just as much as they know and we can't give our power away you know what I'm saying because they want you they don't even know what they're looking for trust me I'm a producer and a director I wait till the person comes in and I go oh you're in you know what I mean so I learned that where the person comes in and they're it or you give them a note you go I feel them hold on let just kick them off the safety ledge and see where they go and uh and then they do it and they bring it I love that so much it's a good one it's a great story it's a great story you better have 20 more of them for the next 75 Buck you seat Bel minutes all right I mean this is your life you should see the research that I did let's start with oh gosh I'm getting scared you you said when I was younger I had no interest in being in this business yeah what changed well um my mother was an actress my mother was a you know famous legary Jane Mansfield the legendary Jane Mansfield and and um you know she was a big personality and I grew up in Los Angeles I grew up here and I had a very normal childhood I did not grow up in Hollywood you know per se we didn't have we weren't around actors or we just weren't around the business it was very normal um my stepmother was a flight attendant my dad was doing construction and I was kind of a you know athlete in school I was on the swim team I was on the cross country team and then I went to an all girls private uh High School Mary Mount High School there on Sunset and one of my uh favorite nuns at my school said to me Mishka I think you should try out for the play and she said you're so extroverted you're so funny and you know this is the translation is you talk in class too much um so I think she was trying to channel my energy but um so I tried out for the play in um my junior year and it was a a French farce called Salad days and then the following year I auditioned for the main play and I got the lead and got the bug and love telling stories and I love the power of the medium and and an and an audience and that connection was just but originally you wanted to be like a French diplomat right I did you did do your homework I did so much homework I'm very impressed yes I did I um my mother as I said my my stepmother was a flight attendant and so she would take me to London and Paris and everywhere and so I traveled so much and we lived in Italy in the summertime so it was such a fun existence and I loved languages so I thought you know I'm a good communicator and I wanted to bring people together and then I thought I could be a translator or a diplomat or somebody that helps two sides understand each other and get closer and look what you have done which is almost the same thing just in a little different little different profession I was watching the cutest clip last night of your mom and you and your brothers on the Merv Griffin show in 1966 which was technically your very first appearance as a three-year-old you also said your name was Maria at least that's what it it sounded like but I think it was Henny Youngman who said because you were just so precocious and sweet and this in this outfit you guys got to go YouTube this because the outfit you wore was everything but I think a h Youngman said get your own show will you to to you as a three-year-old he said get your own show get your own show and I'm thinking little did he know like you really got your own show I mean the longest run Prime character in a drama series you got your own show and then some like have you seen that Rec I have seen it and it was you know I have three children now and I you know I feel like they came out who they are and when I saw that clip I went and so did I you know what I mean I was very much myself and the same person I am the same person as that I was on that show you it's it's so proud you've got to see this funny you went to UCLA I did but you didn't graduate do you regret that I did I did regret it for a long time um because I think finishing is so important and um I was talking to uh my friend George stefanopoulos about it and I because I'd always um sort of toyed with the idea of going back to school and and they even wanted to give me an honorary uh you know degree honorary you know um graduate degree and I I didn't want to do that because I didn't finish it and but I look back now with more wisdom again and I have no regrets because my life took this other beautiful journey and I wouldn't change anything I wouldn't change anything but it did take me a long time and I was very embarrassed about it for a long time really what um what were you majoring in and how many more credits did you have to finish um I was a theater major okay and uh I think I have three quarters left that was a quarter system at UCLA I feel like you've earned it now like I know know 551 episodes I mean that's like graduating college time and I went back and I was you know The Graduate you know commencement speaker and it was very beautiful to me and um I love UCLA and I love what I learned there and I love I still have of the friends that I that I made from there and um but I have a different sort of philosophy now about things I don't have regrets that way anymore I'm so I try to live in gratitude and thing think that things happen for reason and I've had uh so many blessings in my life that I I don't dare um I don't dare regret good for you um you also yes that deserves an Applause um you went on to study at the ground Lings I did right yes I did that is I don't know if a lot of people know that and that is huge because you're very skilled at comedy and the Groundlings is not an easy program to do so what was that like I loved it I was very intimidated by it I always thought that I would be in comedy I always thought that that's the way my career would go and I started doing a lot of sitcoms and you know I just thought that's where I'd end up and again that's not where I ended up but um but on ER on that that ER stint that I did which was I think um 16 or 13 episodes 13 yeah oh okay great thank you you're welcome do you want to write my biography sure um but um I did that and I put in a lot of comedy in there and that was my like happy place because I used to try to find you know drama but there was places where I got to Pepper it in and that's when I you know it's sort of all cemented for me to find the humanity in it and not let anything be one thing but to see where it goes and surprise yourself so how did you get your first agent or manager and did it help or hurt that you had two very well-known parents at the time I got my uh well my there was a man who was a a manager who met my brother and my brother's very handsome and um I think that he thought my brother you know from the way he looked should go into the business and my brother was like sweetheart you're barking up the wrong tree here and so he introduced this manager to he said you need to meet my little sister and so I met him and then he introduced me to uh my first agent but I was in um I think I was in high school and so they would send me out on auditions and I said I can't go because I have a swim meet and so she sort of said like okay well why don't you call me when you get serious about it so um I wasn't going to not go to a swim meet because I had invested so much in my sports and it meant a lot to me um but some of my first auditions were uh Blue Lagoon and um and uh I I read nine times for Flash Dance o Could Have Been Me with the off the shoulder so wait nine times with for Adrien line yeah lot of call backs for that what okay H how did you that there's so many questions what a feeling you didn't know what you were going to get tonight did you Friday night a whole other thing guys what was that audition process like and what was it like mentally going through that because here you're hoping for your big break and nine yeah I was so young you have to understand I was so young I didn't know anything and I didn't it was just fun and uh scary but I was sort of like oh this is great you know I didn't I didn't I wasn't so invested and it wasn't it was great it was fun I knew I didn't know enough about acting yet so it was uh you know it's all part of it that's what I'm saying about not having regrets I I got rejected so much I've had you know you said what was it like I was I was having lunch with some people today from um my amazing Network and um I was talking about um these auditions that you have they're called generals when in my early 20s and I went and met with somebody um I won't say who but he said what's your name and I said Marishka hargate he goes no no what's your real name and I go like this do you think I made that up and then he said to me to change my name and to get a nose job and I said you get a nose job no you didn't you yes I did because I I was like there's nothing wrong with my nose book you've got to write a m I know I really do don't you really do all right in my free time when I'm not busting perss I know but you know so like what's it like having it was it was a help and hindrance okay right yeah the parent thing and I would walk into auditions and people would say oh I was expecting a blonde or I was expecting you know a lot of a lot of expecting something else that I wasn't yeah it's interesting is I was watching a lot of Clips over this last week of Like Your First episodes of this or your first appearance on a talk show literally everybody is like how do you say your name tell us for your name and I'm like get over that like be like everybody's got a different name at times like just say like the name really thre them it really threw them um I love your comeback to the nose job comment but did that mentally get in your head because that can really affect someone to think like no it didn't oh God no it didn't because I had a great dad and I was like you know he's like you decide he always um you know he really instilled in me since I was little uh that you know you know he gave me such Authority that and made me trust my gut so I he goes you know who you are nobody tells you who you are you decide and that's you know all my shtick of I decide um that comes from a deep place and a gift of having a father that really believed in me and really uh nurtured my self-esteem that way and so when he said that I was like m I also know that my mother was typ cast right into she wanted to be a different kind of actress and they said dye your hair and put on a tight dress so I was already going I'm not playing that yeah I'm not dying my hair and I'm not putting on a tight dress and I'm going to do it my way and I'll do it my way and if it works great and if it doesn't that's fine too that's the title of your book my way I we're just going to come hold on did it Frank sinra already take that that's real maybe I should write a song marishka's way yeah and your mother by the way had an IQ of 160 like brilliant woman and again your father the legendary Mickey harate I love the advice that he gave to you and what he instilled so much good advice in you I mean you you said like at 60 you're learning to really trust yourself I don't know I from what you're saying I feel like you really trusted yourself going far back to your 20s because here you are going into the ER casting director and then John saying no I know what I did I you trusted yourself then you trusted yourself to say no to these you've been trusting yourself for a long time yeah maybe we need a couch let's get into it let's get into it um how did you get your sag card I got my sad card I think in 1983 so I was born in 64 so that makes me 19 right um it was on a star 80 it was a bob FY movie and I did it's called an under five you have under five lines I don't think I'm even in it but um a friend of mine said I'm going to do this thing and there was tryy outs and I went and got chosen and so I was there you know for five days and maybe set a line or two but I got my sad card and that was so exciting for me I remember that was on my resume and I go into auditions and they'd say oh you're in Star 80 and I'm like mhm I didn't see you I was small but you know but I was in it it was so funny I love that yeah it was so funny and you did a 15 episode stint on Falcon Crest which by the way again looking at these clips your hair in the opening is just so good fabulous so good so good so good so good what was that experience like for you it amazing first of all I knew nothing I did I didn't know anything and I just remember Jane Wyman who got to work at 600 and left at noon right so that was the first thing and uh she was a badass but she was so amazing and I didn't understand about the marks and so I remember like doing the scene with her and just during the scene she would just move me so I'd be in the scene and I'd feel this and then I go and um it was so great I just learned I just learned I learned and learned I was just so young trying to learn and anaisa was on that show and she was such a good actress and I remember watching her and watching her like drop in and she said something to me one time that I remember and I have used and I've said to other actors because I I would look at her and go how do you do that how how do you just drop in or how do you start crying or how do you get so mad and she said you know she was so loving to me too and nurturing like a like a little sister she was really special woman anyway she said Mishka I have a little box and it's like my bag of tricks and I have all the emotions in there and I just go in there and I pull whatever one out I need and it was just so beautiful and so I had that beautiful image in my mind that I also had all the emotions in there that I need and it was just about finding them or Excavating them or or sitting with myself um being still enough to get in contact with it so that was a beautiful image for me as an actor as a young actor wow I love I love hearing these stories especially like these iconic shows um speaking of iconic you did bayat iconic almost died on that one I mean you fell over the boat you well I jumped I was supposed to but I was such a good swimmer oh yeah that uh I remember this was not a good story um I I swam I jumped in the water but I was such a good swimmer that I was uh concerned that it would look like I was fake drowning okay um so I said to the stun guy I'm gonna go in I'm gonna come up for air and once I do pull me down so I came up but I didn't get all the way up and so he pulled me down not his fault but I got water in my lungs so I had to go to the hospital oh my God yeah that wasn't great and I was so scared I was going to die that night because you know you can get water in your lungs and if you lie down it can go up so it was very scary um but you know when you're young you're like it's got to be real and um I I know but I really have bruises I have I have I remember when I started SVU I still have scars on my wrists because it was a scene where you know somebody handcuffed me and I was trying to get out of it so I was like you know it's got to be real and I'm sitting here trying to get out me while my wrists are bleeding and I'm thinking like I'm so real and and then and then you know you learn and you're like you don't really have to do that so um you know I've been I got you know I've been in the hospital a few times the punctured lung and stuff on SVU it's been uh it's been crazy but I learned my lesson now that I'm 60 also I have to say I love how you own your age and I've read quot I love my age I love that because we need to be open I'm so first of all I still got it do I not you more than have it no but I feel so listen guys after Co I'm so grateful to be alive I'm so grateful to be here and and I mean right it's we all should be so grateful every day is a gift I I mean every day is a gift so I don't take that for granted and I celebrate it and I also think you know people come into their wisdom and and power at this age I really do I'm so much better than I was when I was young I'm so much better but you're also empowering so many other actors regular you know whatever profession you're in because the more people that are owning and are proud of it it makes it easier for everybody else to own that too and you know and I think we need to do more of that because we're all struggling together where we think like oh go we're all the same and we all feel the same you walk in the room you're like oh God I'm so insecure they're insecure and and then you talk about you're like oh my God I thought you were and like Oh I thought you were and and then you know but it's such a thing it's such a lesson that now you just go up to like go hi talk to them and then and then everything's okay and kindness kindness changes everything A smile changes is the trajectory everything kindness kindness and love and giving people the benefit of the doubt is what heals period end of story I really believe that so much I I thank you what are you laughing at front row man but um I feel like we're way say how kind you are I am the nicest um but you're left is so loving and fun and it's making me think I'm so funny you are by the way do you know what I was going to add what I've already come up with in my mind when when we get to this section but I'm just going to go ahead to it now I swear to God okay so Marishka is good friends with Brook Shields I am you and Brooke need to do I know you need to play sisters and be in a romcom and go to Italy or something when is that comedy coming it's coming it's coming no I actually had lunch with um how are you I actually had lunch with um sort of the lady leadership at um at um NBC Today and we were talking Kina I did I love Perina but I had lunch with all of them oh they're I yes they're all amazing it's so amazing and I feel like I've like grown up with all of them that's the also the gift it's like we all started and then we all grew up together so it was so fun to be in this team of of these badass leadership beautiful supportive women again again Community um but we were talking about next chapter I mean listen SVU is going to go on for another you know years um but you know there is there definitely next chapter and I'm excited about it you can do both you have a Hiatus so you know yeah for eight weeks right well still I have 14 children a foundation I'm making documentaries come on people just getting started that is true you know you're just getting started here oh my I feel like we should everybody should be eating we should like dinner does anybody need somebody run out and get movie theater and we have no popcorn that's what we need okay um we got to talk about Seinfeld oh because you did that was a good one that's what I'm saying I thought I was going to go into comedy what happened you need not what the hell happened at jean look at Jean Smart I'm the next Jean Smart people oh God she's awesome I you killed me not with you oh my god nobody knows Olivia Benson is funny AF I [Applause] mean people have no idea what goes on on our show come on Dick Wolf we need I know know he knows it oh he knows it well then what's he doing he likes Olivia Benson all right but you also and he likes to keep it that way well you also know people you know Pina you need a you need a comedy okay well let me get on it in a book get on it Patrick that in a book we're we're gonna I'm going to give you more jobs you know excited about my book would you guys read it okay you heard it here first okay back to Seinfeld you did an episode called the pilot which wasn't really the pilot of Seinfeld but it was called the pilot and you played an actor it was like a thing within a show where you were auditioning to play Elaine yes but then I heard that you also actually auditioned for the role of Elaine in the very beginning I'm so old I don't remember I may have I auditioned for friends I know that wait you did yeah for who tell me everything Monica you did not yeah wait how far did you get in that process one and done they were like nope next yeah I don't know I don't know I don't remember but listen it worked out for me didn't it no I know it did but still like I could have been a friend or like if not Monica Joey's sister yeah like you know yeah I know and I was never even on that show it's ridiculous it's ridiculous who the hell are you right in you need to go into more casting director's offices and be like come on people John Levy the casting director ER wrote a book and I think my Story's in it really yeah oh I love it yeah he wrote a book because um yeah he asked me field trip to Barnes & Noble after this it's right down the road here um okay wait so back to Seinfeld so when you did the episode what was what did you learn from that experience were you terrified going into it well yeah terrified but so excited I mean there's the best show he's so funny he's was my favorite it was great and they were so nice and um I had fun and uh it was great it was great you know it was quick quick but it was so enjoyable and kind and fun and they were super supportive it was just great okay one story I hope you remember this because I think there's such a lesson it's it's you probably wanted to forget it at the time but I think it's such a great story about persever about perseverance and I think probably any actor can relate to this I read that your scenes you were in 1995 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers let's get into it yep and your scenes were cut out entirely it's better than that what they flew me to Australia to play Delia Queen of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers they fitted me up with special they first of all they shaved off my eyebrows let's start there no no wait a minute no no no oh no they wanted it to be like a Vulcan and so it took me years this one hasn't grown back back I'm sure some of you have noticed um but it I shaved it from here at the peak off and so because they wanted him to go up they gave me green I think green contacts really sexy number that I wore and then I was in Australia alone it was November and they had me on hold for so long for basically two months so finally I said I'm going home I wanted to go home for Christmas yeah so I flew myself home and then when I called them like January 3rd I'm like hey guys you want me back and they're like no we're good so it was one of those it was I went and I think I replaced somebody okay because it all happened kind of quickly and then they didn't know what they were doing and then they kept me on hold so I went home and then they just I think they found somebody else so I never really you know got to do anything no and you shaved your eyebrows yeah but I think again it all worked out yes it totally did yeah but what did that experience teach you about the business and about like not shaving off your eyebrows well you know I again I was yeah not now when I'm talking um God bless you God bless you um I wouldn't I wouldn't do it differently I went there I did everything they said it was Christmas time time I wanted to go home I was homesick yeah I mean it was like December 21st right and I went home so I mean sure I was bummed out and embarrassed because I was fired but I mean it was mighty more from powering you know what I'm saying I mean not to be judgy but I didn't really need to be the queen of the mighty morph from Power Rangers I don't know I think it's pretty cool you do yeah yeah I I'm good with it okay listen a job is a job you work hard for it no you do but but it wasn't right for me it wasn't mine it wasn't mine karmically that's right I just cannot believe the eyebrows oh I know I you I really have to post a photo of it I'm G to send it to you I mean thank God you didn't do the nose job thing like thank God imagine I wouldn't have a nose if I had done it thank God you didn't all right so let's go to ER now you talked about this amazing audition story yeah when you got it what did do for your self-confidence you were a fan going into this too big fan it was and wait for the audience that may not know Cynthia your character was in a relationship with Marken Mark green exactly Anthony Edwards I mean hello yeah it was um it was the uh I would say the beginning of my uh career uh as an actor seriously and the beginning of of my um when I said I can do this like I I can do this I know how to do this and um I was so happy you know also when you work with such great actors um you know it elevates you right because all you have to do is listen and answer and just tell the truth and look into their eyes right so um that scene that I did the audition scene was my first scene with George Clooney and Juliana right so that was my first scene and it was a big day in a big huge career um a marker I would say because after I did that scene the crew uh clapped for me oh so and I knew again that was another scene that I I just understood the part yeah you know on some deep level and so that's the part you heard about the comedy and I was like hitting my head and doing all this crazy stuff and um it was it was the first time I felt uh like TR open as an actor where you do the work and then you let it go and then you get in flow and I was in flow and it was hard to be in flow with looking across from you know George and Juliana it wasn't George sorry was it Tony and Juliana I can't remember who it was now wait which scene when you it's the first scene okay so oh no it was Anthony Edwards and Juliana George was there that and you forgot your resume yes and that's the one where you know it's this it's a scene where I'm going in to read for a desk clerk right totally underqualified I don't have a resume and the whole scene as I'm saying hold on I know it's in here so I packed a very large bag and I brought like telephone like this is 97 so I brought like a telephone like regular telephone and like a banana and just random like deodorant like random weird stuff notepad and so the whole thing I gave myself you know something to do so I was focusing on finding it so I I was like one sec I know it's in here and then I spilled it and then it fell on the floor and I was like I'm so sorry and it was that so it was that you know I studied Meisner and so in Meisner the question is are you really do are you really doing what you're say you doing or you just pretending and that is so deeply drilled into my being in my essence you know like I can see when I'm taking notes if there's another cop there and they're like doing the [ __ ] scribble I'm like name names yeah no I'm like write it down write it down because you notice the difference like my on SVU and they're talking I'm writing down what they're saying that's what I'm doing really writing it you sell those notes for charity like you could auction those notes off do you realize that I'm coming up SE 26 baby I'm goinging up with more job treat you could really you could make you for your foundation or something like well it is 20 years of SVU I am looking to uh raise some a forever fund yeah so that those notes people would buy I mean for joyful heart did I say that for joyful heart I'm looking to raise money not for Sor I didn't mean to interrupt I'm getting all these ideas you're really interrupting a lot um no but what were we just talking about oh yeah that so I was I was intimidated but I I said Mishka stay in your Lane do what you're doing what are you trying to do get this job that's all I was focused on so you know I felt really um it was a big deal on that show because that I was going you know it's so intimidating and at that time that show was the show ER was the shows friends and er musty TV all that so I couldn't believe it like I finally had gotten on the greatest show on television and working screw friends you got an ER baby but um but um so it was really exciting and then you know they kept picking up my I signed down for four episodes really and then it was four more okay and then it was four more I was going to ask you about that because you did 13 episodes on there three times 12 right yeah did they tell you going into it because I would imagine you would have stayed if they would have kept extending it so no no they said when I read for the part it was a an arc or episode Arc wow so then it you know it kept worked out but it was such an amazing experience working on that and I learned so so much from um particularly from Anthony Edwards who was such a great actor and you know we had this one scene in particular where I had to um we got drunk and we were doing tequila shots um in bed and so that's a scary scene to do and you want to do it well because a lot of people do drunk really bad how you do drunk I'm the best nobody's me tell me no I really am I swear I could teach anyone okay how do you do it okay first thing you do is you do less than you think you do okay and what you do is a little overfocused so I'm super happy to be here first of all I love you guys and also you're actors I'm actors we're all we're all the same and we love each other and you guys know my are right rep rep rep and so it's a little slower it's a little slurry but it's not this people like do too much and go it's not that it's this it's a little bit of a sway and it's a little bit of a um you take your time right and it's overfocused stay right there I see you I'm thirsty it's a it's a okay wait I want but I've been begging them to write me a drunk seemed and they won't because Olivia Benson can't get drunk listen I want them all right now all of you guys on your resumes under training the Marishka harate School of drunk acting because here's the thing down when you're drunk you try not to be and that's what you have to remember you don't want to be drunk you want to be cool and easy and say first of all I had one drink you need to calm down first of all I hold my lier well and everyone needs to calm down but but you know what though I'll give this credit you know who I'll give the credit to Chris Maloney and I yeah for 12 years yeah come on Chris Maloney and I between takes would practice our drunk and I'm not kidding he'll tell you and we would critique each other and because we would also do it and it would be so funny and I go no there too much there too much you know and then and then we would and then we would find it he's also excellent at it oh my God I can also do stone but I'm not going to do that I do that well you do that well yeah I can do it oh no I'm not doing this give the people what they want no no I won't I decide yeah I decide I gave you drunk that was good yeah you've gotten out of your seat like four or five times already I love it I know I'm person of the people you are I've never had any actor get out of their seat four or five times already this is fantastic come on let's keep going see what we get to 15 or 20 I'm I don't know where the hell we were right now okay anyway oh yeah so you were doing so 12 so then 12 episodes or whatever and you were done how scary was that when Chris left oh wait who are we talking about now are we talking about what are you what are you doing we're back on ER e yeah sorry you went on Maloney and I think how scary was that by the way love that scene last I don't want to spoil too much but the finale last see the finale yeah who your friend yes it's it was so good last night I thought yeah so good and that last scene with the necklace I won't say anything more but it was really people had mixed feelings about the ne NE but it's okay all right we'll get to Malone we'll get into that later okay bring out the couch people back to ER so when they when your Arc was done which was already icing on the cake because you it was already icing on the cake yeah you did way more than you thought but how hard was that afterwards like here you go from being on the hottest show and you're waiting now for your next project how did you how did you stay in a mindset of gratitude and knowing cuz I think everybody can feel that whatever job that you leave it's hard yeah it's hard but it was I was so grateful and also once you're on the like number one show then it changes your resume so I was already like people watch that show so I already I felt like I was already on the map and I was so proud of my work that I could say you know I had tape now I had work I had work that I was proud of I could go in and go here's my tape yeah you know what I'm saying I it was a difference of be you know auditioning for something and not feeling right I felt like now I had something to show for myself you know and that was so excit that in the little the MF Griffin show when I was three or two but um so I was just so happy I mean of course it's terrifying when a job ends right obviously it's terrifying for all of us I mean it's terrifying but you know listen this is what we signed up for this is what we signed up for we know we know it this is what we do this is what we love so I was you know I had worked I worked you know my 20s were hard because I got a show in my 20s like too early before I knew what I was doing um what show is that well Falcon Crest was in my 20s right okay and then I did another show maybe called downtown or something that was your first credit I think it was a CBS medal show and then you did that sitcom with Nancy mcken yes so I did all these shows I think in my 20s and then and then I didn't work right for a long time like six years or six years maybe of my 20s it 20s were rough because I worked a lot at the beginning and then you think oh I'm oh I started I'm working and then it was dry and I didn't uh start working consistently until I was um I think 30 is when it all kind of started for me being coming steady yeah but so when I finished ER which was 97 I I did ER 9798 I was very lucky after that and I um I got a development deal did you so I was developing a comedy who was the development deal with DreamWorks wow yeah and how did that come about they saw my work on ER wow and uh they had seen you know all the sitcoms plus ER Plus other tape and then um they just knew who I was by that point and then I get got a development deal which was very exciting so I was developing a show which was a um a dramedy if you will I sort of fancied myself like I thought maybe like an Ali mcel okay I wanted it to be a drama but with a lot of heavy comedy that's what I thought I should be doing and um I they worked with a writer I remember and we worked for like eight months and then SVU came along another comedy yeah and it was funny when I when I got the audition for SVU my manager called me and he goes listen I got a script for you I don't think you're going to like it it's very dark and it was so you know I understood why he said that because I was leaning toward this dramedy I was leaning toward comedy and then I read SVU it was called sex crimes at the time and I was like sold done I knew it was my part I knew it I mean I knew it was my part I wanted it yeah I didn't know it was my part right right I got I guess I did though yeah but it was just so I loved it I loved it it was so right I'd never loved anything more and that's when I started auditioning for it wow yeah and there's this story that so many people know now where you walk into your audition you think John Slattery is going to be there and you call out Slattery and it's Chris Maloney and Maloney goes Maloney why did you think did you really think my agents told me John was going to be there and I didn't know who he was but I knew he was a good actor he's brilliant wait you didn't know who he was but you knew he was a good actor John slatter's GNA be there so I walked in and I saw Chris I'd never seen him before so I go Slattery and he goes Maloney and that was the beginning and that was the beginning of it I love and also I learned a fun fact maybe you all knew and I just am late to this that Olivia and Elliot the names are dick Wolf's real life children yes yeah okay good I wasn't late to this I yeah like why did everybody else know this no so Olivia is his daughter and Elliot is his son and Serena is his other daughter who played uh my mother name was Serena yeah wow yeah what did you did you have any connection when you heard the name Olivia Benson because now this name has become so I I mean Taylor Swift has a cat named after Tor you know I'm sure people have come up to you all the time to say I named my child Olivia event like after you so but when you heard the name at the time did you think like do you ever have an attachment to a character name or did you know there was something kind of special about this one I just loved the name Olivia and I love that it said live I loved that it had the word live in it and I just thought it was a strong name and a and a feminine name but it had power behind it and um I just I just loved everything about her her name her character everything do you remember then what your first line was in the first episode no what is it I'm not that good well I think you are um but that would be an excellent trivia question no I have no idea what my first line was do you know I remember a lot of lines but not first no you're going to die when I tell you what is it Olivia Benson that was your line I I'm okay that's okay you're welcome so easy when everybody tell you introducing yourself now you've humiliated me in Fr of God knows how many people oh you already did that with the drunken thing it's fine we're equal we're equal now I don't think I humiliated myself I think you guys thought it was good it was fabulous right it was fabulous I could teach all of you and make you the best at it I'm putting it on my resume and I'm not even an actor I'm serious I love teaching people that I don't know why I love that because you know why also because people do it so poorly and it's annoying yeah when they're bad at it right because drunk is so specific it's so specific it really bothers me when people do it in a sloppy way sorry you are my fa can I just say I shouldn't say this but you're I am going to anyway you're my fa I think my favorite person I've ever interviewed because you're just so present and fun and into like I just love it oh than be here forever truly I talk to so many people and it's so nice when someone comes to play like I'm having the best time you can tell I keep drinking water I'm I'm exhausted like in the best way possible I want I want to say something about that uh oh no it's really important okay so that's what I mean so my son um is a senior in in high school and so we just went through the college admissions uh uh what do you call process but you know it's it's a thing and it's hard and it's very stressful and so one of the things you know after going and visiting all these colleges at every College what they say is we want to know you they said we want to know you don't write like what you think we want to hear don't write you know make up something so you think you sound good we want to know who you are and that really landed with me because you know when these colleges are putting to obviously they care about your grades blah blah blah however you know they build a class they build a class and I really my husband and I both really like drilled that into our son and we said this is the key to life is being who you are and so it's the same with actors because we are playing these different parts right and we have to be all these different people however an energetic place like when you meet somebody that's comfortable in their own skin and when you meet somebody that's free to be themselves you're like oh my God I'm so comfortable I'm just relaxed around them because they're authentic so you go oh okay we're just like real people here sorry my pants were writing up but but but that's the thing you know like it's real it it as a young actor or somebody you're like oh God myd you know whatever and now I just go this is the thing and I say it to actors when they're going auditions all they want you to do is be yourself so they can see what you are and what your energy is and what real is because nobody wants fake right whatever you are that's the gold and that's what we all need to do and that's what I think the wisdom is so I feel so thank you for saying that that's a lovely compliment but true my pleas no no no no don't Don't Clap yet but thank no because the point is the point is there's so much freedom in being our authentic selves and there's so much more work in that because it puts the person who's casting you and the director they're like oh well they're they're confident they're easy they can sound like they're going to be easy to work with and they're just themselves so they're not tight because if you're nervous they're nervous you know because I sit there and I do a lot of auditioning you know and people are nervous to read with me yeah and so I immediately am like you know do my shtick and I make them very comfortable I'm like nobody understands better what it's like being than me so we you know do a thing and then we relax them and they're like oh okay I can relax and that's nobody can do good work when they're nervous right I can't I can't I was bad for the first few years of SVU I was so nervous do you laugh but I yeah you do I really think that I really think that I listened to some of that early stuff right and I know listen I know I know what I am don't I'm not I'm saying however there's a lot of that high voice that's not grounded yeah and I would do it differently yeah and yet what's beautiful is the Arc of it the trajectory because that's a character that grew up before our eyes exactly and but if I could if I could redo it again I would give myself that freedom to just go listen you're either it or you're not right don't be nervous do the best work you can what are your actions what do you want in a scene what do you want what are you trying to get are you doing it or not period do your work and get out it doesn't matter you know what I'm saying no it's not about you it's about the work yeah and once you that's so freeing it's so freeing because it's not about you but you know it's it's scary right so teaching ourselves how to calm down and Trust ourselves you said in your recent variety piece which was excellent that you were almost fired for cutting your hair yes that is true story um do you regret that listen the I didn't do it on purpose what happened was I was at a photo shoot okay uh with a very famous photographer and famous hairdresser uh not Chris McMillan um but and so he said um do you want me to cut your hair and so he came over to my house after or no I think we did it at the St at the studio wherever we were and he cut my hair and he was he had a glass of wine so he was cutting my hair and then I saw him do one cut that was uh irreversible like we couldn't go back and so it was a moment where I went oh my God and then he had to cut my hair and and um you know make it even and so you know it was very stressful for me and so I called them I called one of our producers and he was like that's fine but then I called then dick found out and um he was very upset and so you know he he thought that I just made a change which I did not and I would never I I look better with long hair wasn't no it wasn't excuse me but um you know he didn't know me it was in the early years he thank you he didn't really know me so I think he also was not scared but he was like what is she doing is she crazy you can't just cut your hair and you know I don't think it was a middle of an episode but it was it wasn't good and so he was very scared and then he's like I fired people for less and so he said I he said I hope you like the beach cuz you'll be spending a lot of time there and he's very very funny he wasn't being funny at this time and he said that and I was crying and I was like yeah like this is my fault I didn't do it on purpose and he's like there's no crying in television but um I was very upset I was very upset and he said he was going to fire me and then he didn't and I think he was just trying to scare me saying don't do it again I mean I would be terrified I was terrified yeah I was terrified I think he was too you know retrospect I think he was like what the what the hell what's happening you can't just go and change a character's look and he was right but it was it was an accident yeah I mean an accident the guy was hammered but you know what I'm saying maybe when I saw him with the wine I should have said you know what maybe not tonight oh god um you've talked a lot in the past about your prep to play Olivia Benson yes um and I want to make sure we get into this because what this character has done for people and what you have done as her to bring her to life is just I've never seen anything like it and the response I mean if you're having a bad day I would go on and read your social media because your fans are the most incredible fans and what they write about you I'm like anybody's having a bad just go go read marish because the comments on there it's amazing um what were the lengths you went to to bring her to life and do her justice um well thank you for that I when I first got the role I was so excited and and so terrified because I again girl from La didn't know about you know how to play an NYPD detective um and I know that I had a very New York Quality about me I've always been told that since I was you know little so I got to New York um and I started going on rideal alongs with cops and I met one detective um in particular her name was detective Tanya colie who was from SVU and I thought she was so amazing she was so strong and so powerful and so compassionate and didn't take any [ __ ] from anyone and was so clear is what she was and so I tried to spend as much time with her as I could and then I learned about the issues of domestic violence and sexual assault and I learned the statistics and I couldn't believe the statistics that's when I sort of my mind was blown and I didn't understand why everyone wasn't talking about it so so I decided to become a Rape Crisis counselor and I went through a 40-hour training and learned about survivors and what they needed and how to um deal with them and and most of all what was so beautiful about the training was it was basically a class in learning how to listen and I remember when I finished the training I thought every human should take this class because so many of us are sort of programmed to be like to be uncomfortable in the um silences and we want to fill it and we want to say oh yes I know what you mean and it's like no you don't you don't know what they mean and you don't know what they've gone through so learning how to listen and um mirror back and ask what somebody needs and be educated by what a Survivor needs was so powerful to me and um then I started receiving you know a different kind of fan mail and a lot of the fan mail was saying I wish you were the detective on my case and that was heartbreaking because I think that what they were responding to was empathy compassion being believed being listened to and also the way that law enforcement had traditionally um interviewed uh survivors in a linear way also not helpful so as we've learned now with the neurobi ology of trauma memories don't go in in a linear way they come in sensorily sensorially and they come in all different ways it could be music it could be a sound it could be a feeling it could be temperature change it could be so many things but the mind and the memory is fractured so that's when we started doing trauma in for informed interviewing on the show and that that's when I decided that I wanted to make Olivia Benson sort of half cop half Rape Crisis counselor and so I also you know because it was you predominantly male dominated uh industry I said I don't want to play it like a man I don't want to have a me um male energy because I'm a woman and I feel like women do things differently and in a in a not sometimes not as in such a linear way but a more holistic way and I thought that was um what was needed to play this character so I just educated myself uh in every way I could and um started joyful heart as a um response to being immersed and inundated uh in this material and subject matter and it was um my way of doing something about it yeah yeah that deserves a round of applause you um you know and I read a lot of things saying like it's remarkable that SVU has lasted 25 seasons and is still at the top of its game and everything and and I truly believe it's because of you nobody else could have made it what this is you bring as hard as the cases are every week you bring a sense of comfort to people who watch and you cannot fake that it's it's the real authentic you that comes through and that's what people see and they gravitate toward and it's well thank you for that I you know it was sort of um you know listen it's an honor a privilege it's inspiring and sobering I say that you know the longest running TV show is about uh you know the longest running female character on a TV show is somebody who fights for justice and a compassionate um passionate uh Fierce and empathetic way and it shows how much our culture needed this character and I'm it's a privilege to play her it's a privilege to um to play a part in in anyone's healing that's so beautiful um you guys are so amazing do you have kleenex on you I I almost brought Kleenex up with me do you guys have kleenex up I I we should have had a box here um you don't even have to respond to this but there was a quote that you wrote in people earlier this year no um you're good okay in your cover story and I just wanted to read it because I thought it was so profound and people people have never talked about it this way but you wrote I said for a long time that my Hope was for people to be able to talk about sexual assault the same way they now talk about cancer tell someone you've survived cancer and you're celebrated I want the same response for sexual assault survivors and I thought that was yes thought that was so profound in changing the narrative yeah of what it means to be a Survivor of sexual assault be proud that you did it and that leads to Healing so much to be proud of having survived there's so much um to celebrate yeah and and the way it's um you know the way it is now in our culture and I talked about this a little bit in the variety um you know I think we need to change uh the grammar around it because that's what's hitting me now is when people say I was raped where's the perpetrator where's the perpetrator in the grammar and so we need to change that because I don't think that the Survivor should have ownership of what was perpetrated on them yeah and I certainly feel that way and so um it's just an exciting time that people are talking about this and that's why I love SVU it brought it in the Forefront of of the culture and our consciousness and it's not taboo to talk about anymore there is a community You Are Not Alone the shame doesn't belong on you and I think survivors are knowing that more and more and owning that yeah more and more and I even about my own story I I love talking about it now so openly and freely because it doesn't it's not triggering anymore it doesn't have ownership it has none and so that's that's what I want for everyone because you have such a big heart and you've taken on so much with joyful hearts and with this role that you play day in and day out 10 months a year how do you not take it home with you though because you are so compassionate that you want to help everybody how do you separate and it might be as simple as walking in and seeing your dogs and your kids and your husband no that's it's a great question it was hard for a while I had a lot of um you know called secondary trauma and people would come up to me I remember one time in a theater it was so that's when I was like oh you need help um you know because a lot of people have shared their stories with me and I feel so grateful and privileged but I had to learn how to take care of myself because it is a lot and I've just done a lot of work and I know how to do it and I also um you know the fact that I have joyful heart and that I'm doing so much about it and um talking about it that's um that gives me so much peace and that I get to have people come up to me and say SVU you know changed my life or SVU changed how I feel or I'm so glad and now I have a community and blah blah blah blah blah and I know I'm not alone and people have shared such beautiful things with me that that is such a privilege to be Again part of to be part of someone's healing like what is better than than having a little role in healing the world and making the world a little uh Cozier I mean isn't that what storytelling is isn't that what the exchange of energy and storytelling and saying hey this happened to me this happened to you we're alike we're the same we're in this together and so that you know like you said about my fans I do have a different kind of fan it's such an intimate um relationship is brave people too that uh there's a bond between people that have gone through a trauma like this and you know the new language and the newness and the possibility that's what it's about right it's about the possibility and we're all going forward so I always say that people you know people say like oh I want to be like you I'm like no no no you already are like me if you're drawn to that because birds of a feather right so if if if you energetically I I don't get want to get to you know but it's not to because it's just the truth because we are energy but it's there's a uh the world is in a really rough place right now and there's also a lot of healing going on so I like to focus on that um speaking of Joy what do season three episode 11 mean to you does that hold any significance nope season 3 oh is that the 100th episode no which also has significance that has significance to me because my father was in it yes yes that was a joy I have no it was 100th episode I have no idea what year it was you know it really 2003 2003 yeah so it's season three or four whatever I don't know four but what what was season 3 season 3 episode 11 what don't tell her oh Peter when your husband guest starred for the first time oh God don't tell Peter I didn't know that was a good one and and John Ritter guest starred on that as well I mean as we saw from the sizzle reel like Robin Williams Carol Bernett like Sarah pon Martin Short like yes the list goes on but Peter season 3 episode 11 oh God I was smitten oh the tall German I mean how could you not be I didn't know what to do you weren't even in a scene with them that first I saw I yeah but that's maybe if I wasn't in a scene with him see I don't remember that I remember the scene that I was in with him and Chris cuz Chris was like giving me the eyes like he was laughing at me cuz he could tell he KN knows me so well and so um it was you know obvious so I don't get nervous very often but that that did it yeah but it wasn't it wasn't season it must have been a different episode because that is that when was with Stephanie March yeah but he wasn't you weren't you guys didn't have scenes together in his first when I really noticed him I had scenes with him that's when it started okay well that's what I remember remember all right I remember being in the interrogation room I don't think yeah I don't think you were I went it literally watched it this week you you guys didn't have any scenes in that unless I well he maybe met me but yeah all right well anyway this is this is your night so we'll we'll figure we'll when we do the joint let not argue when we we'll do the when we do the joint Peter and Marishka one then we'll we'll get into all that because I I do I love your love story it's just but you know him I do know him yes I was telling my mom it was funny I was moderating a panel for younger like eight years ago and um Peter of course was on it and so good on it and my mom was in town so she came to it and after the panel she ran up to Peter and all she wanted to talk to Peter about was [Laughter] Marishka and I love your wife and everything else so yeah was very sweet okay wait we're I'm getting the WAP sign but we're not done yet season 11 three season 3 episode 11 okay I should get him put that on your Emmy Award when you want first of all you deserve more than one Emmy Award I'm sorry I know Emmy are hard like one is amazing you deserve all the emmies as far as I'm concerned seriously um how did that Empower you professionally and personally um personally it empowered me a lot because um my dad I think that's something that he wanted you know my dad was a um an athlete and a champion speed skater and Mr Universe and Mr America and Mr world so I think for him as an athlete like winning and being number one really mattered I think for me as an actor and an artist Like There's No best there just isn't I can't decide I I mean there's performances I love but I you know what I mean it's like people win and they don't win and then some people who deserve it don't win and then the people win you're like so I mean you know what I'm saying but it's a p it's a taste thing it's a personal thing what affects you and and what is Meaningful to you and what touches you or what you know so for my father was so happy and he was um sick at the time and um so I won the Emmy and then I got to go he was very sick at the time and um I got to go and give it to him that night and it was just two weeks before he passed wow so that was um really great for me wow and and you know um listen it's always nice to win Awards it's feels really great and you feel like it's such a affirmation that people are you know picking up what you're putting down right that people are responding to what you're doing and and it did give me a sense of um confidence I mean it is a so of a dream or a goal for everyone things we dream about but I I think I know so many brilliant brilliant actors that have never won one that I think are way more talented than I am and way I mean really though I mean I know people that I'm like I I don't even know what you're doing I don't even know it's so on another level that I feel I get my mind blown um that's what I love about my job I get to work with so many talented people but but it is something it is validating of course it is it is the greatest feeling and it is something exciting um to have and hold and um um by the way I have two wait you have two oh God I won best um best documentary oh that's right for I I am evidence right yes which 2017 you produce that which amazing my apologies I yes yes any time I have two just tweet tweet it anyway that's the kind of thing that you absolutely correct somebody on I'm glad that you did I am glad that you did amazing but it was um personally it was really it it was it was it was it was amazing both both ways yeah it it's just it's like it's just it's a dream come true you can't even believe it when it happens you can't you just can't right right I so happy I I can't even imagine and yes everybody should watch I am evidence because what you've done with the the backlogs of the rape testing kits like it is so crucial it's on HBO HBO and Max right you on yeah on Max okay so really quick because I know we have to wrap I came up with I only have two more hours guys sorry F I'll have breakfast in the morning at the Grove it's great um okay my rapid fire acting questions for you oh rapid fire acting rapid fire so as fast as you can oh have you ever overslept a call time and if so what' you do about it maybe um yes I have I have to have yeah what' you do uh jump at the put my clothes on and jump in the car and say I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry but I don't even know if I have that's not really how I roll overachiever okay how do you memorize your Lines by wrote it depends on the scene um uh certain scenes I can read it once and I sort of know the flow if I I I if it makes sense to me and I understand it emotionally and I've read the script certain amount of time so it's kind of in me but if it's a chunk of information uh random information facts that's very difficult and I have to just do it by rote and then I do it on tape recorder or I just say it over and over and over and over and over and I do it by I wrote and then I do accents accents really help me this is real talk actually uh it goes in differently I'll do it in you know like Southern or Texas English I do Italian French I I'll do it and that's how I learned speeches too I I do it it helps me so much because when I do accents uh in different languages different things different uh they emphasize different things so um that is something that's a trick that I've learned in the last three years if you do it with a accent whatever you're good at or not doesn't matter nobody will hear you um that it goes in your brain a different way I should actually write a book on that it'll be a chapter um what's your morning ritual before you go to set anything you need you have to have in order to get into character and have a good day on set no it it doesn't work like that um I have to get up so early I get up I jump out of bed I jump in the shower and I get in the car I get ready in 15 minutes I just do that and then I get well then I get to work and I get into hair and makeup so I have an hour right it takes a hour and I do my lines while I'm doing my hair and and the same thing with my makeup um and I just learn my lines and I go through it and I go through it but I learn my lines on my way home as well I do it there on the way home on the weekends uh between scenes I mean I have so many lines and it happens so quickly I'm very I'm very good at learning lines well now that Maloney is no longer on the show you don't have to play Drunk between scenes you can learn I can actually learn my lines yeah I know that's the real reason but we run it you know we run it we also run it like I go to the team like let's go before we shoot we go back and we run it we go let's quick quick quick and I call it um we do a speed through and we say it really really fast because that you have to make sure you really know it or you're going to suck how do you avoid burnout especially when you're working as hard as you do 10 months out of the Year well it just happens sometimes because you're so tired um but one of the reasons that SVU is so successful and so good is because everyone is so engaged and I can't help myself like I used to joke that season 17 I was going to phone it in you know what I'm saying but I can't like I can't I I I need to fix everything and if somebody else isn't good then I'll fix that you know what I mean I need to fix it if the scene's not working I I I can't take it if it's bad I can't take it so I just care so much about it I love my show I love it it shows I love it it shows but I'm not the only one we're all like that we're all like that yeah we're all like that yeah we help each other we're a team it's amazing like I love them deeply yeah it's real people you know what I'm so proud of everyone on my show when they leave or when they're there they go like this I swear to God they say is it always like this and I say yeah it's always like this it's happy it's a team we get it done we laugh we're close if it's not good we're like guys sucks let's fix it what's the problem okay bum bum bum bum bum that's not working sorry let's go again I'm sorry can I have another take that was bad like we do it until it's right we don't move on until it's right we don't we won't well let me just say that all interviews are not like this you are magic thank you oh you're welcome for this I mean I hope thank you you all yes give her a standing oent thank you just trying to keep it real this is your life marish [Music]