Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

-performing "4x4xu" from her new album "whirlwind," once again, lainey wilson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ i'm the kind to take the keys ♪ ♪ don't sit in a shotgun seat ♪ ♪ 'less i want to ♪ ♪ and you make me want to ♪ ♪ hypnotized by the white lines ♪ ♪ your hands ten and two on this heart of... Read more

Category: Music

All right here's here's a shot we got some whiskey here all right all right now what do i do come up here okay come home i'm going to do a squat and shot let's do this all right are you ready i don't know you going to need like a life alert or something to i all know is i can't turn around once we play... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Lainey wilson’s journey from performing in walmart aisles and writing songs at 9 to stardom Read more

Category: Comedy

-welcome back to "the tonight show." it is time for the "name that song challenge." -♪ name that song ♪ ♪ name that song challenge ♪ -my teammate tonight stars in the hit show "only murders in the building." season 4 is streaming now on hulu, with new episodes on tuesdays. give it up for martin short!... Read more

Category: Comedy

-welcome back to the show, selena, marty, steve. thank you so much for coming here. -james kamala fallon, we love you. -thomas. james thomas. thanks. -okay, first of all, we're here because we love you. -thank you. -and we're also here because colbert has gotten a little pickier. -okay, right. -but... Read more

Category: Comedy

-finally, guys, it's monday. it's time for "wepost." here we go. -whoa! -♪ wepost ♪ ♪♪ ♪ wepost ♪ -welcome to "wepost." this is where we, as a group, decide something we should post on socials. i'm gonna show you five different posts, and we're all gonna vote on whether you like each one or not. and... Read more

Category: Comedy

-guys, just a quick mention that this friday is the golf matchup everyone is talking about. it will be settled once and for all. that's right, i'm talking about the cardigan classic i challenged... [ applause ] i challenged dj khaled to a golf match. he looks like a fun guy to play with and he's really... Read more

Category: Comedy

-i'm sorry if i -- if i seem a little distracted. i'm still thinking about this nightmare i had last night. or should i say my tonightmare? [ thunder crashes, woman screams ] i was alone, lost in the middle of a corn maze. it was getting dark, and i couldn't find my way out. ♪♪ i started to panic. i... Read more

Category: Comedy

-performing "flea" from her new album, "all born screaming," give it up for st. vincent! [ cheers and applause ] -♪ i'm just like a hungry little flea ♪ ♪♪ ♪ jumping on somebody's warm body ♪ ♪ when you start to itch and scratch and scream ♪ ♪ once i'm in, you can't get rid of me ♪ ♪ once i'm in, you... Read more

Category: Comedy

[ cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ don't blink, don't wait, don't walk, you're late ♪ ♪ don't fall from grace, behave, don't trip, sashay ♪ ♪ okay, sashay ♪ ♪ don't kid, don't blame, don't snap, insane ♪ ♪ don't crack, don't act your age, don't change your name ♪ ♪ it's all the rage ♪ ♪ do ask, but don't... Read more

Category: Comedy

-you look fantastic. thanks so much for being here. -thanks. i'm so happy to be here. -i haven't see you in a while. and i said, "how was your summer?" and you told me you had a brat summer. -well, duh. -what do you mean "well, duh"? -didn't everyone have a brat summer? -yeah, i mean... [ cheers and... Read more

Category: Comedy

-enjoy yourself. enjoy yourself. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show"! you're here. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. well, guys, tomorrow, in philadelphia is the big presidential debate between vice president harris and former president trump. which, of course,... Read more

Category: Comedy

[ knock on door ] -hey, demi. -hey, jimmy. -i'm so happy you're here. thanks so much for being on the show. you look fantastic! -well, yes. i mean, you see how i dress to appear on "the tonight show"? very demi moore, very mindful. i mean, i don't come to "the tonight show" with a green-cut crease.... Read more

Category: Comedy

-welcome back to "the tonight show." we're about to play a game called box of lies, but i'm gonna need some help. she's a very talented actor you can see in the new movie "the substance," which is in theaters nationwide on september 20th. please welcome demi moore! [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome,... Read more

Category: Comedy

-thank you so much and welcome back to the show. thanks for coming on our show. look at you here on the cover of "variety." [ cheers and applause ] they're calling this the year of the -- the demissance. -wow. doesn't that sound like a party that we should go to? -yeah, we should go to the demissance.... Read more

Category: Entertainment

At the ceremony i sang a nice song for you here's me singing a song for you can we zoom in on your on your family because i'm singing a nice song to you can we just zoom in like what's going on you pissed my son off you were being an assho he was sick of it what are you talking about i was singing a... Read more

Category: News & Politics

I think your voice has changed a little bit ah i i hate to break it to you but i've done an impression of you once or twice when you first started running you you're very high voice your voice is very high and china you say china and yeah a lot of point it very high and then you talk and then you got... Read more

Category: Comedy

Ladies and gentlemen here's a professional actor reading the line it's a me mario in a very dramatic way it's a me mario Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The fastest and the best way to d-stress to lower your level of stress in real time the physiological sigh brings your level stress down immediately very quickly and we all have the capacity to do it and it's done the following way it's a double inhale through the nose the first one is a complete inhale... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Jimmy kimmel cheekily reacts to jimmy fallon’s late-night episode cancellation Read more