Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

(upbeat music) - the first question somehow ended up on the auto industry rescue. - and i know he keeps saying, "you wanted to take detroit bankrupted." well the president took detroit bankrupted. you took general motors bankrupted. you took chrysler bankrupted. that was precisely what i recommended,... Read more

Category: Education

Can someone please just give me a valid reason as to why they're voting for kla harris so far the only two that i've heard is cuz she's a woman and she's black even from the exact same people that can't define what a woman is and who say not to judge people based off the color of their skin okay thought... Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] here we are less than two months out from the election and we've basically got a tide race the candidates are doing everything they can do to ramp up the excitement kamla is speaking to voters in pennsylvania in spice stores trump is speaking to voters encased in bulletproof glass and jd vance... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

When there's a large threat there's two things that you define you define the threat and then you define your defenses all i'm saying is if we are taking an honest look at what our best chance to defend ourselves against a perceived threat i think we are selling ourselves short and in in a lot of ways... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The idea that like hey it's it's the almighty or the alternative or whatever the the the bro don't compare me to the almighty compare me to the alternative to the alternative which is what i use with my wife and her ex-boyfriend all the time you know oh are you are you getting prim married in your own... Read more

Category: Comedy

Jon stewart opens after the final night of the dnc [applause] hello. what's up? welcome to the daily show. my name is john stewart. and once again, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to chicago. [applause] n/a oh, what a lovely group. lovely theater, lovely group. we are live. right now, we are live. the... Read more

Category: News & Politics

You spent two months riling up your base that our country had literally been stolen from them through fraudulent means that you could never even get a whiff of in a court of law and let and let yourself just abuse them you you pressed on you abused their trust you showed up for a speech you tweeted... Read more

Category: Entertainment

When it comes to the economy do you believe americans are better off than they were four years ago i imagine and have actually a plan to build what i call an opportunity economy my plan is to give a $50,000 tax deduction to startup small businesses i intend on extending a tax cut for those families... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[music] tuesday's presidential debate between former president donald trump and vice president kamla harris left the daily show host john stewart with a question what the f just happened in a live episode that aired following the event stuart was perplexed by the moment when trump claimed that immigrants... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

Hi everybody hello welcome to the daily show my name is john stewart the second presidential debate has just wrapped up we are live well technically uh technically i guess this is the second presidential debate the first presidential debate of this matchup i can't wait to see who the winner will take... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

I actually created ivf i will personally inseminate any woman with sperm that wants it that's how much i believe in [music] ivf hey everybody welcome to the weekly show podcast with me john stewart we are back we are back with britney mmedic lauren walker our a wild producers we have been away for months... Read more

Category: Comedy

Economy do you believe americans are better off than they were four years ago imagine and have actually a plan to build what i call an opportunity economy my plan is to give a $50,000 tax deduction to startup small businesses i intend on extending a tax cut for those families of $6,000 holy we're one... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Jon stewart, stephen colbert, jimmy kimmel react to harris-trump debate: “holy s*, she crushed that” Read more

Category: Entertainment

Woo the great party switch here we go donald trump has picked up the unexpected support of former democrats rfk jr and telsey gabbert and might even have picked up one of jeffrey epstein's most esteemed former lawyers i am no longer a democrat i am no longer member of the democratic party i can't associate... Read more

Category: Comedy

[theme music] we just witnessed a debate between president joseph robinette biden versus former president donald robinette trump. [laughter] it was a highly anticipated affair, according to the network that was running it. the first biden trump debate a little over one month away right here on cnn.... Read more

Category: Comedy

I knew there would be some wu-tang apparel when you walked out there. well, after you sung the praises of wu-tang at your chicago convention show. you saw that? yeah, of course i did. you talked about how that era, 1991-1995, four best years in american history. i agreed. - you agree, right? - i agreed.... Read more

Category: Comedy

So a storied career. you're one of the first employees at microsoft. you become a ceo of microsoft. you own the los angeles clippers. you have this dream life that, as a kid, you probably never even thought those were the heights that you might be able to attain. and in that moment, you turn your attention... Read more

Category: Entertainment

I would have testified i wanted to testify the theory is you never testify because as soon as you testify anybody if it were george washington don't testify because they'll get you on something that you said slightly wrong and then they sue you for [applause] perjury yes our jails in america are filled... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome back to the program, bill o'reilly. sir. [crowd cheering] [music playing] come on out. take your time. thanks for having me. - take your time. - appreciate it. - william. - yes, sir? our country, we are in such a dangerous moment. you've written books on almost every assassination. you... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

[music] we are such a convoluted mess when it comes to our election systems whether it's through the financial shenanigans of super pcts and all the loopholes that exist and corporations are people and money is free speech and the 14 or 15 billion dollars that we're going to spend on uh this election... Read more