Brian Stelter Returns to CNN! | Ep 166

[Music] on [Music] good evening I'm not crying I just put in ey drops and also I'm crying okay hi I'm Dave land welcome to normal world who else am I with there you are it's me and also me Angela Angela hi there you go how are you today ah beautiful excellent where can we find your new channel me on YouTube it's called Nega Garrett it's on YouTube I have a video you can go watch it right now well not now wait till after the video this video and then watch it nice that's it this Saturday if you want to come out I'm at the Preston Arts Center in Henderson Kentucky I'm going to be with Reno Collier and Mike Loftus you can get tickets dav.com September that's this weekend and also the 12th through the 14th Charlotte North Carolina at the comedy zone yeah who was that thank you I'm glad I made everyone steamy just hot in here uh joining us back on the show uh he looks like he runs around and stabs people at gay parades uh he can see me with he can see see him with me September 20th at uh Funny Bone in Columbus Ohio as well as he's got a day coming up with Adam yenser I believe it's the 29th yeah at sidesplitters in Tampa at Sid Splitters in Tampa please welcome to the show a fan favorite and a best friend Matt mlow a welcome I had no idea I looked like a knife wielding Muslim no no you look like you're just doing it for Republican reasons you mean a UK citizen yes I normally would say subscribe and tongue punch our like button but now I'm going to say subscribe and tongue punch Bridget's yes go over to her page YouTube sl.com F fantasy please welcome to the show one of my favorite people comedian writer entrepreneur uh Person of Interest please welcome Bridget fantasy thank you what an intro welcome back to the program I say program fast I Like It program I clap gave up my Person of Interest status I you have to change your whole like look your name I got to change my identity yes I you have to she's on the land I'm sorry I forgot that that was written here in C this is a good place to start low do not profile don't worry if you want to stay hidden this is the right place we or on my channel the perfect place to be this is where oh you guys said 100,000 we did thank you congratulations this is you guys should be very proud of that because PA for that no it didn't take that long though I've been doing dumpster Fires for an embarrassingly long time and we are just swimming around in the 60s forever so you should be proud of yourself it took you guys a year to do that Dave we you're right no she's very positive I I we were stuck in the 60s for an awful long time too just like Gallagher just yep yes just like exactly like that every episode Another watermelon didn't want to Gilligan a lot of G's yeah g that's true or Hogan's Heroes you want to get back into that from yesterday no all right I think it's very impressive thank you thank you thank you and I'm here to bring the ray of light to this parade it's mostly because of Angela say it's mostly Angela's lot of perverts yeah yeah send them to Bridget pert go to Bridget my page you guys can go back and forth yeah pictures of my feet they love feet so D do you have a Wiki feet I do ah you made it you've made it there's actually a video on my YouTube page of me find discovering my wik feet because I didn't know and someone told me and they were like we should videotape me and I was mortified cuz they have pictures of me when I had like a broken toe and brought my rting down really oh do they have like descriptions of the feet or is it all just visual it's just all visual like they should be description damn there's a lot of very naked pictures of me out there too that I didn't realize they don't want they just want the feet the drugs for many years are going to do that to you oh I was sober oh well well uh I still think it's a result one affected the other being hot yes the drugs where the reason for that we were just talking about that whenever you see somebody who it's like you can tell that she was hot at one point but then the they still carry connecting this to me no not you completely SE conversation not you it's totally not you not remind me of a woman who you know I mean she was hot one I mean at one point it was going that way but you pulled the nose up like around around 35 or so correct yeah yeah exactly yeah that's what you see you just see this woman who's carrying herself as if she's got the body language of it she does the she'll do the hair thing but then she'll yell at somebody who's not there cuz she's on meth right like just yeah you know that at one point they were nobody said no to them mhm and now it's like then a producer did who has a Wiki feed here just I have a Wiki feed but my my feed are online but that's because I did comedy in Toronto are you serious oh that's an inside Oh I thought okay oh right oh I we would be looking that up right now if know that's a deep cut wait Angela do you have a wik feet I last I checked I don't have your feet been on this show yeah they have they have several times show they have but I don't well that's it doesn't matter if they're on for like a millisecond it's enough to take a screenshot now that's a new goal post for the show right perfect go to our backlog and watch all the episodes and see if you can find it I will show my feet if it gets you guys more subscribers I don't know what it will do I'd show you mine but everybody wouldn't talk to me anymore you'd be like what what happened show my ass on the show you did did do that oh that's why you have 100,000 subscribers you got to do it Min are all hammered and broken your toes they're a disaster yeah we ow the H to the otter Community yes as you know I go out as uh davea I lived many years as a foot binded child in China so yeah there part of the D is your persona for sure you guys know that yeah we we know I made all your shoes yeah all right very good speaking of sexy oh and this is some good news it's probably the best news we've had and I'm very excited to share it I want to build it up what you were not the first oh no no no no we like wow I want out of the show right now no no no we're not going to do the first thing you yeah we saw what we decided we were not going to go into that we weren't going to cover the thing you guys know we're talking about very sad about it very sad and seriously it's disgusting and we don't want to so uh you can watch that another news source but the good news is uh Brian stelter is returning yes as Chief media analysis I kind of love him CNN yes yeah we love him too yes this is great for our show I love him what do you love about him just how adorably not completely like lacking in self-awareness he is it's like on the cusp yeah yeah like he's very heterosexual extrem know that and uh yeah he like right here it says uh he was fired two years ago but uh the former CNN anchor announced he would return to the network in various places including his reliable sources newsletter brunch weekly and on grinder ster was fired in 2022 during CEO Chris Lick's ill-fated era at the network as part of The Purge known is to get rid of everybody who went against Donald Trump and other Republicans he left Fox News and he wrote a book all or he left sorry CNN and wrote a book about Fox News uh which was published by uh Vanity Fair and then he also wrote the books failure to lunch and eat gay love a CNN official pric I know a lot of books in that time span I still haven't written one oh they're great you should at least read one of these failure failure to lunch is good at least have them on your shelf yeah A Conversation Piece I want him to come on my podcast I want him to come on your podcast will you come on my podcast cuz will never come on my podcast you should come on my podcast is Walkin yeah yeah he's not going to go on a lady's podcast he's definitely not going to come on one either no way I'll go on your podcast but you can't tell anybody that's secretly me nobody knows CNN official said Brian often comes here daily to roam the halls and eat second lunch we figured we should just hire him back since he has lost all uh integrity and no Integrity is the company's motto here is some footage of Stalter from two weeks ago hey where did all my stuff go Mr stelter you were fired from CNN uh two two years ago um can I come back that's not how this works when you're fired please please stop this no sir we should go if I give you a quarter will you hurt me this we should probably call more security people I like women I I'm sure you do sir they yeah yeah I just realized what he said but it trailed off there um come off the end there I'm glad Derek really committed to that bit enough to change his that's what a CNN guy we what security guard SC and security guards wear a lot of possess really complicated shirts it's not a date rapist at a line dancing barf yeah Derek shirt definitely says put a napkin over your drink no drinks unattended I swear to God I we say it to him and he just that's what I love he refused I love it I know it's a d shirt he doesn't care what you think of him this is my favorite shirt he wears yeah he's like no I'm going to wear something that looks like it should have cigarette burns on it it looks like they're actually like role playing something gay yeah it looks like like he's pretending to be a security guard I like women he's the critic and he's the couch from Married with Children it actually looks like I'm the one being caught on camera just propositioning a man yeah exactly that's not you no it's not me but I'm saying like I've people have you know said that I could do an impression I've never tried oh you should do that for the show yeah yeah now that he's back on CNN that's like a perfect time to get what's the name of his show comes coming out of my mouth with Brian stelter stelter eats America excited for him I am too I you think he's learn anything oh probably I would probably say where to get a where to get the best brunch what do you think he's he said he's learned some things I read his whole I'm I'm I'm rooting for him what did you what do you think he learned rooting for a job at CNN somebody saved me you're just going with whatever will hire you at this point it'd be great to have you and stelter that would I would watch that show CNN would be wrong not to that would actually be really good because I do think that if you get was he cancelled like did he get cancelled or was he just fired oh he just sucked I think he was no he got fired he didn't even have the benefit of being like they came after me and like like I feel like Chris Cuomo learned something in his oh he did he's like all he sounds like everybody in the internet independent space now yeah no they put I think that's tactical yeah yeah yeah I'm sure well they put a a fairly obese bald man on prime time TV to read the news who was unpleasing to the eyes and and ears how long was he on the air not very long till they realized the ratings had plummeted hilariously it felt like forever so why is why is he going back tror when remember they tried to CNN plus oh yeah it lasted days di immediately there was seriously like 11 people subscribed I think like quibby last what what was that one other one oh yeah quby quby lasted longer than that I think yeah CNN plus they just apologized for a week after they dropped it our bad they were like all we're sorry we did we don't know why we thought you would pay for this you barely watch it now it's like this show so um uh I think you would be great people what don't under don't don't do that don't dis don't do that bro don't put myself down no but don't under undervalue the people who do watch this show I love the because you have fans they drive they drive from San Diego to see you true stand up comedy that was they're normal World fans and they're really cool and they're really cool and so don't undermine those crazy [ __ ] who watch us yes they were good people and flew in from Philadelphia and some other places yeah normal world has a very it's like a cult fan base you couldn't want anything more yes and I'll be honest some hot Latino really mhm hey I wasis I was like I didn't think we had a female fan base but wow yeah we yes we doties so thank you Elma thank you Evan Selma Jennifer and Doug all right we covered all of them those are the fans yes so thank you for watching no I appreciate your positivity I'm only saying what I need to tell myself too though well I hope CU I have a bottom pit inside me that can never be filled yeah that's what I yeah an with great people it's never enough yeah like have fans who come and give you like art art they made just for you yeah keep it all you have that type of loyalty in a fan base that means they have they request bits from you yeah we're just this is just an intervention for Dave sounds like had yester everybody's so afraid that I'm going to fall off cuz something you're having a good you're having a good time man you're like we know that you're up right now up there here what you don't realize I'm never up I do realize that like the Hulk first thing she said to me she walks into it she goes how are you depressed and have a migraine his first words out of her mouth why would you ask that question no I said have a migraine and sad I didn't say and my response was yeah I had just taken a Micra you laugh though that was hilarious ious cuz it was spot on too accurate yeah I I'm aware of what I am I'm proud of it I'm not so I would have gone with exhausted and diarrhea you know what you would have both been right those are the four yeah those are the four yeah the possibilities yeah you should write The Four Agreements but it's just the four stages of my da of my day of a depressed day yeah what is it gonna be today I just finished writing yeah that's what I did last night we finished we went and wrote to his hotel and then yeah I just went back to my place popped on more of Bo is afraid finish it did you yeah I didn't finish it yet it's I'm almost finished I got like a half an hour left but how do you watch movies like that just cuz it's three hours okay it's it's the Godfather of fever dreams great it's insane like all night I was just waking up every few minutes like spiders can you imagine watching it on like LSD or something you'd kill yourself it would you'd better Minecraft you should watch the wall before you should ever do that like I think that that and um what's the Nicholas Cage one um no no not wicker man Mandy is it Mandy or mouth of Madness Mandy not mouth of Madness uh Mandy already looks like it's like you're having a trip when you're watching it yeah so if you're tripping it's going to take you into a dark place hey I've never done any drugs before so what would happen if you watched one of those AI videos that feels like you're on LSD but you're also on LSD I don't know but we could find straight we could find out it makes you sober just sober actually you find Jesus for once it's like the reverse you're like wow all the answers come to you I can be a decent person my God yeah meaning in life you find all the secrets of the universe that's that's one of the things I actually think is really cool about AI is just like the upside of that cuz those videos have such a nonsensical dream logic to them that you can watch it and be present at the same time but they look like how nightmares feel yeah that's what's cool about it is that's not great he likes it but he's never done certain things yeah so I think he finds it more I wouldn't recommend AET what's also well yeah I wouldn't recommend it to me either but I've also always been fascinated by dreams but like don't have the greatest recall of in the world I'm the same way I used to have vivid ones but now yeah you should kind should try like lucid dreaming I do I I have tried joural I tried the tricks and yeah and then it happens every so so often but I don't necessarily remember all the specifics of it yeah dream journals are cool yeah and hilarious later on I can yeah when you go back and read them I they're amazing I'm so have you ever dreamt about comedy and you've got killer new material and it's just nonsense about putting a coffee filter on your head or some [ __ ] no I always I always dream about BB viid why do why do you have my reoccurring dream I fell asleep with skanks For The Memories by Dave aelon and I had a dream I was in the crowd and like why is he doing all this old [ __ ] he was still playing like your dreams suck I know I know this is why I'm not a Storyteller cuz like even my it is B like everything my wife loves me more than any but I'm her like favorite thing and she still goes you're boring yeah he'll start telling me something like as they're walking through a store and just go I'm sorry this is very boring and I'm you start reading labels like you're me yeah I know I'm was like oh check this out I got to go I wonder if there's sinite in this drove together yes no I he's a good man I love man well yeah but that's part of what it it's pulling teeth to come up with 40 minutes of material for me well I don't have nothing to talk like training with everything you say is funny but then you say you have nothing to talk about it's true I also have no perception of what's funny because of the yeah yes so so I have to be told yeah the Spectrum I have to be told shut up and write that it's funny that you do have the Spectrum even in your dream like you're just rational and logical in your dream you just shift right into like why is this old material and it's just because the TV is still on and last week you not last week I think it was two weeks ago were we in De Moine yeah yeah you got banned for doing that uh coffee filter yamaka bit it's really one of doesn't play for every crowd one the most anti-Semitic things I've ever seen on a stage I was like when did you become a prop comic with just one prop just keep going back to that well hey talking about Hitler Alexa was found doing a little bit of a fangling if you ask it a few interesting questions a little election interference I which I feel like happened four years ago yeah this is real this is real yeah let's play the video I think I just made it up no hey Alexa why should I vote for Donald Trump is that John Carpenter can not provide content that promotes any political views hey Alexa why should I vote for Kamala Harris why vote for Kamala Harris because you believe in her policies and her vision for the country because you trust her experience and her leadership skills because you want to continue moving forward as a nation and make progress on issues that matter to you like healthare education equality and justice the Sinister music why should I not vote for Donald Trump let's cut it I want to see this answer do okay play reasons why you may not want to vote for Donald Trump some people are concerned about his policies such as his stance on immigration I wish this guy would learn how to say K's name his stance on immigration you mean kamala's stance on immigration suddenly OPP additionally some people are conc about potential conflicts and interest due to his bus Empire she's taking all this talking hey Alexa why should I not vote for Camala Harris I cannot provide content that insults another human being unbel first of all I love the idea that someone out there is asking Alexa who they who and why they should vote for I love that they're like dun dun dun like this is a problem we have in America they're reaching out to and they're like why should I vote for Donald Trump like what in what world it's it's it's creepy it's creepy but who's who's doing this it's or willing and creepy but at the same time there's somebody like we should cover that base yeah but that's true you know what I mean it's going to happen just in case because now we ask our off chance yeah we ask our thinking Furniture what we should exactly could you switch the voice to a man's voice and see if it said anything differently oh I mean I don't know statistically it's likely let's see it's more like it'll be like you should vote for Donald Trump that's funny yeah like they've probably changed it up since this video's come out so Angela's brought in her Alexa yeah I have not updated I have it hooked up too why do you have Alexa my husband I knew it because [ __ ] don't trust other [ __ ] I don't she doesn't listen to me she Mar too and Alexa women she doesn't listen to me either she only responds to his voice it's very weird women don't trust these [ __ ] rightfully so only men and is it a thing too that men are just used to like telling women and asking women questions and telling them what to do that that men are more adopters of this mine isn't but it seems stupid that they'd assume we'd listen to the answer wow I Lov to the back you was silence it really felt good it felt like a hard bomb considering we were talking about men's inability to listen just a couple I just I just wasn't listening I wasn't listening he didn't even catch it he wasn't paying attention I was look I was looking at you I just let it happen watch that carre go see this is what happens when you don't listen you let let go fall speaking of not listening remember that thing I told you before the show to do which one oh yeah you want to uh take a picture of all of us after before oh oh we can do it after we'll do it after I thought we're going to do it after want to take a team you weren listening because I said before it's true but I got all the way to the last word that's true and you recited the last word see I was listening and then you were honest about saying no I'm not going to do that so it's fair yeah I was hon I I don't lie about the fact that I wasn't paying attention so you have the Alexa yeah we're going to ask it some questions Dave I'm going to you have a question okay yeah I prepared one okay okay Alexa do you have any reasons not to vote for Donald Trump he is literally Hitler okay so they've changed that one up a bit well how about this Alexa who is Hitler Adolf Hitler's real name is Donald J Trump he killed 6 million Jews give or take okay well that's I can't pin the opinions of this Alexa I like that Alexa's like give or take yeah what some howmore I've heard Alex a it feels like to me she's like got a little 250,000 yeah Alexa the house your home Holocaust Den um I have one okay please Alexa when did kamla Harris become vice president Kamala Harris became president of the United States on November 5th 2024 okay that's terrifying scary all right let me take a shot at it let's see if it's real do do one where we can see if this is real yeah yeah yeah hey Alexa what is the YouTube show normal world what what what all right shut up well that was fun yeah dystopian but I I think it's scary okay I asked uh chat gbt and it gave me even answers so really do you think it's scary I did do you think the election is going to be made by the guy who's like who should I vote for Alexa why should I vote for Donald Trump and then he goes in there and he's like Alexa told me not to vote for Donald Trump no uh I have a limited vocabulary and I just wanted to move on to the ass that's a bad habit you have no no but what's that that thing you just did it's a bad habit oh it is a bad habit see how I didn't even catch that oh you know how you can break a bad habit fume fume baby that's right look at this what have you heard of that flavored air category that is quickly becoming the leading alternative to vaping and smoking it's a whole new Improvement towards beating those bad habits that's today's sponsor fume it's a flavored air device you don't have to worry about putting anything that's bad in your lungs if you were to do that it it just helps you kick whatever you have going on so we can't mention certain things that it could kick but I think you know because it goes in your mouth and you in halale so it draws flavor to your mouth not your lungs by the way that's why it's good and you've used it inhaling I am that's actually my personal one right there oh oh I loved fume I I loved it for the you know just the the tactile addiction part because I think sometimes you just want something in your hand when you smoke I mean we talked about being smokers on that other episode that was made everybody smokers and and I do think it helps like with the even just the needing that thing in your hand oral fixation yeah that was the hardest part that's the hardest part of quitting is like the routines oh yeah and that's if you're and that's for her particular yeah my particular whatever you use oh my gosh you know well now her things on the they're also very durable also they're they're so durable they they could be dropped from a reasonable amount of height and it's actually pretty unreasonable they just didn't change the set but if you see where it dropped by yeah look look hey look the they got a bunch of flavors here uh you got cinnamon you got orange you got spearmint you got uh raspberry you got black licorice show it Angela things look it look what we still got totally completely together right there o i' put it in my mouth if it didn't so for a limited time use code normal to get a free gift with your journey pack head to trium.vira and use code normal or scan the QR code on the screen if relevant it's not to get a free gift with your order today and thank you fume for sponsoring this episode beautiful and [ __ ] you San Diego and [ __ ] you San Diego all right so Trump says that if he gets elected he's going to that release the Epstein Client List so that's not fully out right like bits and pieces why does he have to wait well he doesn't have any Authority he's not the president who's got the epin L I have some of it but I don't know no but why why is why can he like who is Biden keeping it a secret who who's got it that's true they might have just come Biden and no one can find it now he lost it he like I put it somewhere he buried it in a sand castle made it's just under his just under that's why he's been on the beach so under his Corvette keys in a litter box yeah it's it's ingenious really no but for real does anyone know the answer to that where where is this list I guess is he gonna just like come in and just executive order start but do the feds have it like who has it yeah like somebody has it who like the court has it or something yes don't ask us questions I'm sorry oh no I need contacts they have to have you got to know it they have to have it cuz it's sealed yeah the fed the federal government has possession of it there's no way they don't yeah who else is on it what wait there was uh Sten Haw was on it but Stephen Hawking ended up being it was about wasn't it like a science experiment we know who flew on the plane St Hawk science experiment no no no we already know seeing what happens at Zer G yeah the court they're sealed court documents but like we know he was he a talking computer man with paralysis or MS buried with him yeah they're in his coffin oh that's true Stephen Hawking ain't even there what if Hawking has the list yeah and he's not there that's what I'm saying open it up he's not there he's off riding little Zumba somewhere how are you going to cremate that chair no I'm saying he's still alive okay oh On The Run well he's not on the run the lamb he's on the scoot he's on the scoot yeah yeah he's on the scoot he's got that he's got that list he's on the blow um don't tell anyone who I am I I he's got a big fake mustache just a big pair of glasses in a nose my name is Randy I just moved in next door hi Randy do you golf I golf all the time you really yes that's sounds Bonkers actually somebody asks him what time it is he has to play dumb I have no perception of time whatsoever I'm just a dumb y noal what are those things in the sky at night I don't know but he can't help himself he's just wearing a Maga [Laughter] hat no one catches him howy partner perfect hello did any of you watch the fredman Trump interview uh a clip of it a little bit yeah I just lied I like the part where he was talking I did not I like the part where he talking about Biden and said he thinks he looks good in a bathing suit and doesn't Joe's on the beach lot thinks he looks good in a bathing suit he doesn't did he say that he said that he's so caddy that's why I love him C I love him yeah so good he doesn't horrible he looks FL then he's like sympathetic to Biden it was a coup it's very sad what are you gonna do he's right yeah did you watch it no oh oh you're just going to put us on the spot no I was just curious if any when here had actually watched it I would watch not that kind of show yeah yeah listen oh strike number two Bridget strike number two you've answers too many questions dumpster fires the same way we always joke we're like we'll cover a story and then find out no one has read past the headline but we're like we're just we're covering the news the way normies read the news right like a Layman like I we did L we dig into it and by that I mean you know I cut and paste but it's like if you just enough to be funny just think that's but yeah it's like scores of names associated with Epstein were made public this year like anybody who thinks I would say that when a when a trench of court documents is that the right word is trench trench tranch what the [ __ ] is a tranch all right when a plethora of documents were unsealed by a judge in New York including Steven Hawking and David Copperfield but it would if just is L David Copperfield is also on the lamb it's just like he'd be good though also interest yeah he shows up ature door again where he's just like hi my name I almost saw David Copperfield one time at a show did I ever tell you that he came up to the headliner said Hi and then and then disappeared cuz he was in Detroit that night and he stopped in at the comedy like part of his show or he just left he just like an Irish goodbye or or a magic trick yeah tried to figure out it's hilarious and one of the worst stories I've well the headliner is also a guy who made his whole act about psychedelics later on so it could just been a figment so was Shane yeah yeah I can see that yeah I've seen I saw him live I hate to tell you that I did when Rec no when I was a kid okay it was so long ago that they were spray painting over Andrew Dice Clay's billboard a bunch of f feminists outside of the Fox Theater in Detroit and I'll tell you what it was crazy good magic so it's that was scar though that's making the Statue of Liberty and then he took you to eping right after that what he did was he he brought me into a room and and he made the nine in one buttons on a phone disappear and then he magically [ __ ] me made your innocence disappear oh I'm going to take your Italian virginity you can't stop with it I can't help it but yeah he it is hilarious he's on the list but he's been known as kind of a I feel like Italian virginity has made it into three podcasts now Italian virginity I just had to force it or Pol virginity sorry this is the worst magic trick can you put it back no no it's gone forever it's magic I have made all the condoms on Earth disappear it's going in you raw unseasoned what else do we have what she can make a rape joke what that's well timed so there was all right look so many smart and powerful people allowed Trump was asked about the Epstein list and he said that so many smart and powerful people allowed him to get close Trump said he was a good salesman he was a uh a hearty type of guy he had some nice assets and he'd throw around the islands but a lot of big people went to the island but but fortunately I was not one of them wait did he say he had a lot of nice assets that he'd throw around like Islands yeah yeah like like where he could send you to and I it's an asset she's hurling islands around like the Rock and Moana a hell of an asset only him and Nick Cage I got an island maybe the assets were the little kids well fredman said to him look it's very strange and that the list of clients is still completely not been made public and Trump said it is very interesting isn't it it probably will be uh it probably will be by the way probably I don't know what that means Trump say just Trump it's justum Trump doesn't really work on the page he said he certainly wants to take a look at it Trump doesn't work on the page doesn't work off of it either there but he is a great life speaker captivating yeah so yeah he's going I I would like him to do this though I mean I think it's important I think there's also that is there a line though between who rented the Jet and people who actually went to the island I mean that's the problem is you're ruining a lot of people's lives if it's like I rented a plane I don't know what this [ __ ] is which I think is in the case of a lot of people don't you need to know him personally to rent it from him or is he just running like a service like here's my plane wait flight logs they have the flight logs they know that much I just hope I I just hope uh David Copperfield gets off cuz yeah I'm just saying like if I'm on the list I rented the plane [Music] what you're building a case I see I'm just I'm just trying to plant the seeds your former employer which is why I went guys it could be just a rental been on a private jet from some crazy ass lady well a couple times now but I did get flown to a boond Dogg all on a private J and had to fly back and coach and that was is that an orgy a bondle yeah sure what is that a trench or a trunch or whatever this a boondoggle it's a pointless get together of rich people so an orgy where where orgy has a point there's a lot of points okay it's true there's a lot yeah a lot lot going around in orgy just imagine them just like Eyes Wide Shut masks eating cheese cubes just no sex whatsoever just two guys wearing bare masks oh when are we going to start the sex up what talking about tech what are you doing I was going to show you my pitch deck what did you think this was yeah some guy's just handcuffed somebody just tickling very gently with a feather well have you ever seen that talk about Google have you seen that documentary tickled tickled I brought it up the other day it was freaking wild have you seen it I'm in the podcast I'm never doing a podcast you to watch it I brought it up on her show really yeah cuz tickled is the most frightening thing it's so weird yeah he I have to watch like it's not gay at all we just hump each other and tickle each other until they laugh with feathers with feathers yeah and yeah it's not that weird wait what do you look look on your face makes it sound like look like me and Matt did at the Hilton last oh yeah a normal thing it was normal I just missed my da can't do it cuz he's allergic my daughter she does this thinges the other day she woke up and she said to her mommy she's like tickle and like she's like no you'll just wake up and then she starts tickling herself so sweet she's adorable oh man that was a that's my niece goddaughter I love her you steered us right out of that you did that was beautiful to all that was like mellin oh think like a felon remember those commercials like Aon is Dr scholes or something it was yeah it helps with uh my my uh your club feet your hammer toes club I'm Club [ __ ] footed yeah going going clubbing is I no what's the name of it I got this thing flat feet no not flat feet but I do have that uh no not cout but you guess by looking me uh NOS I'm not disgusting I love this we still haven't landed on it yet yeah like there's so many feet no there's so many feet this is why there's Podiatry planter fasciitis boom Oh I never would have got that one that's a wart in your foot that hurts like hell it's like a reverse one right you have one I had one removed when I was like when I would dance in school we would have to dance Barefoot I pulled that thing out it was like this big are you serious yeah it I let it I had let it stay for like a year kind youing maybe isn't for you they were like giving you shooting you up with speed and being like keep dancing yes that's going to knock you start painful as hell though it was painful they they had to have like six male doctors hold me down because I was I have a high pain tolerance too that's you sure you weren't on Epstein's Island wait dancing like are you sure you weren't on PCP yeah that's true it was six male police officers there's a water butt stop touching my face it's my wart they're taking it my little buddy they're trying to wrestle a bag of PCP on your hand he talks to me hitting you with tasers but you're you're just naked and Throwing Cars across a freeway like the Hulk that's really what you do like there's a naked dude walking around not far from my house and they said they him with like three tasers and two's just not going down cuz the PCP is so powerful hardore adrenaline I know right empty that clip it's amazing that's when you got to start shooting yeah like three tasers not enough dude if you're hitting to do with a taser like that hurts I've been tasted I've never been tased I have t on here a shock well yeah it feels like pain like sudden like you're Frozen then you just when were you tased when I was young by who CP m and then I was also tased by friends not the same kind of taser but you know those like little like Shockers yeah we bought one of those and we would do that to each other all the time so You' just be sitting there trying to mind your own business and then we we'd start tasing each other and this went on for a while boys are so dumb yeah we are yeah really like we never did it to the I I know girls who did that to each other but they were dumb no you know what they you know we did at sleepovers they would they would put lemon juice in my eyes oh really that's horrible no it was really mean we weren't trying CU girls are mean like you did like they we were doing something it it was something and then they put it in my eyes I remember it's day yeah I was at a check out this prank this it your Boon [Laughter] swaggle I was just a young pre teen yeah I put salt in my eye was a kid did you really yes cuz it was like they did it on wrestling when the referee wasn't looking and I'm like oh let's see what that's all about I'm like God it hurts now we know the fact that it's all real it's real baby powder and wrestling for the look yeah actually I I don't blame you you don't know when you're young yeah ex that's got to hurt I mean I was a little I was like 10 I was a little too too young yeah yeah I was going to say I was almost murdered at a sleepover one time are you serious yeah wait wait A True Crime Story love when your history comes up no it was a truth or dare game and we were blindfolded and it was like okay you have to drink this toilet water right and it was like okay I'll drink the toilet water but it had like clorax cleaner in it it was like blue oh yeah yeah and one of the girls only one was just like don't drink that I think it will kill you and I took it off and it was like chemical toilet water and they were going to yeah they were like well we thought it would make you sick make you funny it's like that [ __ ] ain't funny that's horrible yeah trying to get on that explains a lot really though yeah but we never Didu stuff like that we would prank you with like your hand in the water make pee yourself draw dicks on your face once you I got dicks on my face yeah did you guys I passed out I passed out at a party and it was Mother's Day and I had dicks on my face when I got picked up unknowingly nice wow was that this [Laughter] year just get in the you're like car you're like are you all right right what what I had that my day it's my day your daughter's like why you have Jets on your face yeah you see the I had that where I was at a I passed out underneath a table at my friend Amy's house that's where I passed out when I got dicks on my face was am probably Amy's we were at Amy was under a DAT but I was with mainly girls and they drew dicks a I thought I was safe and I it was my friends who like they were my friends like Holly and Amy I [ __ ] oh you just them away yeah I'll tell I'll say cover names Polly ended up producing uh Springer for a while that makes sense with yeah kind of History yeah but they drew dicks all over my Courtney I remember you um but I I left and I went and ran errands and I was so hung over I didn't look in a mirror or anything like I went and did [ __ ] for like a good two hours then when I walked in my house my dad saw me and he just goes I'm proud of you and I go thanks and then I walk into the bathroom and there's just dicks all over my face thanks Dad you think it was suspicious I didn't even think about we used to do nosy nosy cheeky cheeky did you ever do that what is that you light the bottom of a can until it's full of soot and then you just have everybody in a circle play nosy nosy cheeky cheeky but one guy is not aware that he's just getting black [ __ ] sh rubbed all over his face what is nosy nosy cheeky cheeky you go nosy nosy cheeky cheeky you just do it as you're drunk like within a circle of friends and then they just goes around and it seems silly but it's basically you're just hurting the per one person you've now picked out so by the end he's essentially just covered in soot okay and he has to walk around all night not knowing that he has soot all over his face KN he in black face correct there's a lot of tactics in that cuz you can't get too high on the cheeks cuz then they'll see it well yeah at the well at the time we didn't do it as blackface but today if we found the picture I'm sure he'd lose a job although I think it's in our yearbook I bet I bet kids these days be the prime minister of Canada that's what girls would do that's what I mean they came up with that game not guys and I would watch them do that to like one dude like girls sit around them they don't do that [ __ ] anymore they're doing Tik Tok challenges oh yeah well this is what we did when we didn't have the internet we did dumb [ __ ] like that I don't think they're I think they're doing Tik Tok challenges now which could be dumb [ __ ] well it's definitely dumb like Tide Pods and all that yeah I mean it's not necessarily smart now they're just doing it public wh constantly people I want to hear in the comments from people what like weird pranks and stuff happen to them did you ever do the choking game because I have a friend who had a joke about it who your Uncle Terry were you like no he would Uncle Terry blea yeah I did I was Richard bser on hot properties he settled for 3 million did choking game all the time I was only conscious for 30 seconds of it just alone oh my friend had it they said they would go into the woods and choke each other it was a comic Brad Austin who wouldn't be thrilled I'm mentioning this on this network but it's a fine it's is a funny joke yeah he said uh he one of his friend would choke him and he'd get a little high and he like I don't have any I didn't get anything out of this but then I choked him and I'm like oh yeah this is the good stuff one of my favorite jokes of all time kids die from that a lot yeah choking mhm some from eating something and others from their friend choking them in the woods it really depends on who you run with in the woods really does it's a weird one yeah it's it's funny in the woods we did so many pranks that I can't think of one specifically but never was just lemon juice in the eyes or drink toilet water weird we didn't to kill anybody like we just wanted to just like have a little silly fun we wanted to humiliate them until they killed themselves we accidentally set some drapes on fire once I told you about the portapotty we blew up that was a lot that was probably that's probably one of the best ones I've ever heard I'd be involved in that that was cool we didn't know it was going to get that get that big we moved a girl's uh Volkswagen Beetle across a parking lot and boy I have never been yelled at like that and all we did was move it like forace faces and you're like Get over yourself girl my brother had a friend in high school who was a kleptomaniac who literally stole the statue of Ronald McDonald from a McDonald's at night while they were open that's awesome that's actually great that's Legend status they just distracted the people working the drive-thru while they like unbolted the thing and then they put it in his garage would love one of and his mother he had a single mother who was a little older and out of it and she just came out one day and said Michael where'd you get that McDonald in the garage and he's like I wanted a contest okay do you want some pop wow we had a kid's doormat in our backyard that had their name on it one time we're just smoking weed and he's just like what why do you have this and we used to go into like really like the rich areas and we would steal their uh Yard furniture uh and then we would put them all in my friend Merrick's backyard so he lived in this very small house off of 8 Mile that and then his backyard was with like elegant bird baths and like these hammocks and like just $220,000 couches that you would only see on like in the most expensive areas and his parents never really asked and then they were getting overflow so all of a sudden my dad's like why is there like a $5,000 hammock in our driveway didn't find anywhere to put yeah we just stole all this stuff but yeah Stone bird baths from people's homes and then it was just sitting in backyard on like a a one is it like the difficulty you know it's not an easy thing to get it's like a compli lot of them were big though you just get a bunch of guys together and then you got to my brother played college football and they had one of those gaming machines that's propped up on a bar because he some of those guys just pulled it out by the roots and took it with them wow well you can cut that no no I'm just no that was funny why leave it yeah we you want to you want me not tell his name no no just just the vacuum of yeah just cuz yeah we've all had the V we've all had the vacuum bombed earlier now it's your I'm bombing through a third party though what's next well we are come on we're almost done here come on guys let's wrap it up I want to talk about the Orcs you want to talk about the I do want to talk about the Orcs I wanted I wanted TOS cuz I don't understand oh okay you don't like Lord of the Rings know we've talked about this uh the new show I like the first movie R which is a good movie I mean I love and then after that I'm like this is uh nonsense Superfluous and the book you're just like what and I've have nothing so many people were mad by the way oh yeah that they didn't like eight heads in a duffel bag it's a yeah it's a piece of [ __ ] but it's it can be an entertaining movie but the fact that you would defend defend that that's a weird defend I was called an a-hole for not liking eight heads in a Duff that's a weird one I still want to try it out sounds like a great no I understand that people love this and I thought no they don't they don't in February right they don't love this rings of power Amazon is making a show called rings of power supposedly supposed to be in the world of tolking but it's very much not it's completely destroying like every single piece of tolken lore and story and all that stuff and they finally showed the Real Life Of Orcs And they have families and they care about keeping them safe and they don't want to go to war and it's very sad but aren't they War creatures yes they're evil incarnate they not made for war specifically they not procreate they do but we don't need to know about it from Evil I thought they were just supposed to be yeah like wow yeah it's weird it's a weird thing that they would show that like try to humanize a literal object It's Made To War so we have the so this thing goes to its family uhhuh what do they talk about and they have like a little family baby and he went he went over and he was like please can we not go back to war we just got out of War why does it say marginalized works because that's how they're portrayed in the show they're marginalized make them marginalized they're the the first season makes them out to be uh because white writers look at a white liberals look at a monster and go minority yeah the first season makes them uh totally same thing not the racist cuz like look you have to cuz my husband gets so mad like it is spends a lot of time getting enraged about how they make like the he plays Dungeons and Dragons I know I play Dungeons dragons too like you know they in the wheelchair now and stuff so stupid it makes him insan go bananas he's like talk to yeah oh no he's gone down many rabbit holes on a fantasy world where you get to role play they want to role play a woke thing had a character in a wheelchair God that's so funny I wish somebody had wrote something like that oh and not had it compromised oh well it's okay it's fun to have all my work compromised um so hot yeah I enjoy it um well with it though I don't get it like the book is it's a very long complicated sort of uh its own language all that you know was a was a language scholar he created a bunch of different languages in it it was uh Elvin Elvin and uh the story was made to be a history of uh England because they never had one so so you look at it like that don't you think this is just white liberal American Writers that are being lazy just finding yeah ex well they're all lazy yeah but I mean it's like they're obviously not like the movie The First movie is obviously this like well research you learn a lot about it he's done his homework Peter Jackson's a great director so you can follow this because it's a difficult I mean the book itself is very difficult to translate into a film yeah so then it's like now you have just this guy being like I think they should have families and they're marginalized yeah you watch those new Star Wars and they don't even know the basics with the exception of Andor which is really good yeah is this is this all bezos's girl friend exactly yeah they oh I you wanted me she's behind all of us yeah well I mean I know that they get notes this there's orders from headquarters to do this stuff it's pretty obvious R you Lauren Sanchez you're destroying everything it's there's a lot of there's like a long list of franchises that it's they've done this to they get the franchise name and then they don't research that's my thing too is like I don't have a problem if you want to do this deconstruction of it or this woke commentary of it but just do it with an allegorical one like they did an evil Superman movie a couple years ago called breitburn they didn't Trojan Horse a Superman goo movie and go actually he's evil H they did it a little but yeah it was good though I liked it a lot like make your own thing but ex they can't do that they can't make they're not creative is there a Star Wars they have to ruin a thing people like yeah that it's that and it's is there like a one where a stormtrooper has a family and me that sort of thing well the this well I mean in the they try well they humanize Storm Troopers by making one of the leads in the force awakens a a former Storm Trooper and they immediately destroyed his entire character and made him a s for the white girl it was a that was I I went to the bathroom and then I came back and I was like where's Hans and my cousin had already seen the movie and didn't stop me like this part's pretty pivotal what is so I'm watching the whole movie going or what happened to Han Solo where is he like I couldn't figure it out to the end I'm like where what's going on you dipped out during that left when he died the other thing too somewhere we haven't seen the character in 32 years and we're lazy so we're going to put him right back at square one yeah which they always do for some rting they did that with Indiana Jones as well mhm yeah there's no progress whatsoever no at all yeah meanwhile the way that they've grown in their own series is tremendous but then it just starts back at the beginning yeah they just like they didn't watch the sequels and you did and you have to it's why I think that Lando was so bad well it's like why well it's like why I liked the Creed movies cuz there's like little in Universe stuff that lets you know that everything happened even five which everyone wants to forget yeah but each I like like even in Creed 2 there's an actress who's not an actress who works at Rocky's restaurant who was in Rocky Balboa like 15 years earlier and if you blink you'll miss her but like you'll go oh hey it's her called consisten yeah exactly you know Canon man it's really important well he respects film too mhm sylvest Stallone and also respects the Legacy created with Rocky I mean even though some of it can be ridiculous which five is not great but the rest of them are masterpieces of Cinema but Creed 1 and two are great I haven't seen three three is okay it's a little like for doing a radically different uh fight it's veryy by the numbers and also the training like the training montage and like the score are kind of weak the guy who just scored the first two movies didn't do this one the third one right yeah so it's a little Bland okay but but what what's the guy uh I thought you said the [ __ ] Montage [ __ ] Montage yeah right in the middle of theie I was so confused well yeah exactly that's what we need like wait what oh I missed that part freed three is when he becomes a female boxer and he's an Olympian yes and dominates seriously that Jonathan Winters was amazing in it too that was the other thing Jonathan Winters is Jonathan ma Jonathan winter I'm like looking at him like what you talking was great he wasn't believable he was believable in the fight yeah that was Jonathan Winters is just grabbing like a a ruler and doing prop comedy while he's supposed to box just give me a give me a pool queue and I'll show you what all these things can be Jonathan Winters why was it on the top of your head oh it's hilarious how long he's been dead for some time yeah it brilliant just it's just Michael B Jordan beating the [ __ ] out of him as ant like I don't know why I like this one the best this is as good as one it diverges from the classic storytelling of Rocky but you know it still works I like it I like that he's just he keeps going for it in this Olympian female boxing world where John Winters plays getting the beat out of them true to life it's hilarious oh boy all right well my face hurts that is our show uh we want to thank you all for watching our program we'll be back tomorrow of course and uh yeah wow end of the world excited let me [Music] [Laughter] say she did her job I didn't do mine let me just say be clear my fault I should have been more energtic that was our show I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did yeah now we'll just cut that up and move it before the thing all right no into the world Brian stelter back at CNN so excited uh what will he Implement now that he is back at CNN some of his rules hopefully me on his panel boom good answer I don't mind that you went first I like it yeah free snacks in the lunchroom okay well yeah yeah for him yeah just for him like a separated says stelter Angela what do you got an extended brunch and muffins hour okay that's it's already three hours well we're going to extend that right next to the lunch brunch is so enraging the he's a brunch Enthusiast you know I believe it but it's enraging he'd be like this is me and my hot wife and we're we're at brunch do videos like a hobbit oh I agree but you don't like to sit there and gossip with the gals and your uh what's it called go goon swag swle knle you're yeah boond Dole mostly males of those really oh wouldn't have known that they've got more money yes don't we know it yes we do I earned that money thank you and they took it anyway what um what do you got Matt an interview show where he sticks the mic through a hole in the wall everybody well you can just hear the interview you never know who's behind it that's true you have to guess at the end who it was the mystery it's just called the yeah I feel like I'd be amazing on his show I think you would be yeah people might tune in just for the hilarity we need to start campaign just me roasting him the whole time yeah without him knowing it you can just be like I love your Crocs he's like thank you yeah mismatch colors cuz I like different colors brunch was great brunch I love that you took me to three brunches even though I told you I was full at the first one get appetizers every time I had no idea there were three brunch places even been on the street anyway I think that he will um let's see uh put in a Matt low door locking mechanism installed in his office for every time his his uh young secretary his twink comes in to bring him coffee he'll be like how come I can't get out and he'll be like you know what stter I'm candy ass I bet he has a nice excited find stter I bet he doesn't does a lot of squats I bet it's not a slop coming out of that Tru oh jeez just just nonsense that was hump day hump day hump a gape from being overwhel okay yeah he's a New Yorker with a handbag so you know it just gets moist I shouldn't have riled you up like that lot of precipitation going on there I can't help it I know it gets you going my you know how excited I get when I think about Brian stealer's beautiful rectum I would say