Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

All right john voit in studio a legend who doesn't seem to be slowing down reagan is the new film and uh it's got a lot of people in it you're you're going to recognize and we'll tell you about that in a second uh but also john i mean midnight cowboy and um deliverance forgot i forgot about you in deliverance... Read more

Category: Entertainment

The only thing i wish i'd produced was a condom on the night my mother and i conceived you. i really hope you've misread that. michael whitehall. yeah. father, question mark. i have some things that i need to get off my chest and so i'm gonna say them to your face. this face, this resting b***hface.... Read more

Category: Entertainment

I have no regrets when it comes to my producing career the only thing i wish i'd produced was a condom on the night my mother and i conceived you i really hope you' misread that i mean i hope it says your mother i mean i know people have preconceptions about posh familyes and incest but i assure you... Read more

Category: Entertainment

You shouldn't be scared of a roast you should be scared of gout i don't get any of that what you do you get gout i don't with your diet i have never got gout you always do this thing you have a medical shoe you have a special shoe that you have to wear when you have gout flareups you're just lying i'm... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Algunos dicen que la verdadera personalidad de alguien se ve cuando nadie está mirando bueno pues steve buemi ese actor famoso por sus papeles secundarios nos mostró su verdadero carácter el 11 de septiembre de 2001 cuando fue a la zona cero y trabajó con su vieja unidad la compañía de bomberos 55 en... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. the democratic national committee released their party platform document yesterday, which was written before president biden dropped out of the race, which explains... Read more

Category: Comedy

Tim wall's maga older brother jeff walls suggested in a recent facebook post that he didn't consider tim fif for office writing the stories i could tell not the type of character you want making decisions about your future when a newsnation reporter reached out this was the story that jeff told my little... Read more

Category: Comedy

Speaking of awful surprises we have some more ghosts from joan dudan vance's horrible and quite recent past joan dudan you know again you're missing some that was good that was good joan duddi and i i i swear if you don't laugh at these i'll stop doing them and we got a long list of these and yeah... Read more

Category: Comedy

Ahead of the debate the new york times in sienna college released a new poll that found harris and trump to be neck and neck as they enter the home stretch i believe 48 trump 47 comma 28% of likely voters said they need to know more about harris while only 9% said they need to know more about trump... Read more

Category: Comedy

More than 400,000 people clicked over to the voter registration link swift provided in the 24 hours after that post went live taylor swift is like a nuclear arsenal i don't think something this powerful should exist but since it does i'm glad she's on our side hello everybody wow welcome to love it... Read more

Category: Comedy

Hello and welcome to pandering hour deal with it never do this never ever not a good idea don't do this way better want top 10 killer cucks if you like putting stuff in your butt that is your right and don't worry about straight or gay it's not about that it's about your own satisfaction for you for... Read more

Category: Comedy

[musique] trop bien je dois moi jusqu'à imaginer je ne gagnais pas ces deux faits de jeu tellement j'étais comme ça il a comme amis là bas c'est là à mon le top des tops la gamme abonné aux manettes vingt six des sept des huit jean batut au cinéma ne sont pas tu vois les films le film d'amour le film... Read more

Category: Comedy

Reporting live from hyper clubhouse in atlanta for comedy hype news i'm symphony thompson well sha diddy colmes has been ordered to pay a100 million in a default civil suit judgment for an alleged assault that took place in 1997 back in june a man named derek lee cardello smith filed a civil suit against... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

In the heart of the bustling metropolis of new york where the skyline is a canvas of ambition and success lester holt stands out not just as a distinguished news anchor but as a symbol of modern-day achievement yet beyond the studio lights and breaking news reports lies a world of luxury and refinement... Read more

Category: Comedy

I have some tour dates to tell you about i'll be in las vegas nevada over labor day weekend if you're going to be there then i will too i'll be in bend oregon spokane washington portland oregon vancouver in the canada oklahoma city north little rock springfield missouri kansas city uh missouri soue... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-guys, we are moving on. here at "late night," every night i deliver a monologue made up of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult for me to deliver, but we don't think that should stop... Read more

Category: News & Politics

-hey, everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is our live "closer look" election special. we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. well, the first presidential debate was last night, and the bar was pretty low for former president donald trump. all he had to do was... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-earlier this week, several prominent republicans, including ohio senator and vice presidential nominee j. d. vance, promoted a false claim that haitian immigrants in ohio are kidnapping and eating family pets. here to respond is one of my writers, jeff wright. -thank you, seth. thank you. [ cheers... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-our next guest is a tony-winning, oscar-nominated actor you know from movies like "brazil" and "the two popes," as well as "game of thrones." he received two emmy nominations this year for his work in "the crown" and "slow horses." new episodes of "slow horses" premiere wednesdays on apple tv+. let's... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news. tuesday night's debate between vice president kamala harris and former president trump was watched by a reported 67 million people and then rewatched by at least... Read more