Jack Whitehall ROASTED By His Father Michael | Say It To My Face

The only thing I wish I'd produced was a condom on the night my mother and I conceived you. I really hope you've misread that. Michael Whitehall. Yeah. Father, question mark. I have some things that I need to get off my chest and so I'm gonna say them to your face. This face, this resting b***hface. See if I can crack it. What do you mean, 'get off your chest'? I need to get some things... You don't have a chest. You have a sort of front bit of your, you've never had the chest. I always wanted you to be sort of... 'Daddy, I'm here!' You know? We haven't even started yet. You shouldn't be scared of a roast. You should be scared of gout. I don't get any of that. You do, you get gout. I don't get gout. With your diet, you do! I have never got gout. You always do this thing, 'I've got gout'... You have a medical shoe. You have a special shoe that you have to wear when you have gout flare-ups. You're just lying. I'm not lying! 'I have a special gout shoe.' You have. I do not. In your drawer at home, there is all of your shoes and they're, like, nice shoes. Are you suggesting I just have one drawer, do you, at home? Daddy's drawer? Yeah, Daddy's drawer. Which is full of porno pictures. No, I don't do anything like that. You have the same diet as Henry VIII and you get terrible gout flare-ups. Okay. Jack wrote and starred in The Bad Education Movie. Oh God, yes. We went to see it. We went on the location for it. We went miles somewhere for a day's filming on it and I stood there looking at it and thinking, 'This isn't funny. This isn't funny.' People often refer to me as a nepo baby, but that implies that you were successful in the first place. People call me a nepo baby all the time and I'm like, "Well, yeah, but you weren't famous." Of course we were. No, you weren't. Oh, don't be ridiculous. You weren't. You would never, I mean, you were like a dead greyhound. You'd never have got out of the traps. You would've been the greyhounds, you know, they got the traps, the greyhounds would've shot off and there'd be one there going... I am not a nepo baby. You are a nepo parent. Oh no, that's a vicious lie. What, you mean we jumped on your bandwagon? Yeah, you did. Nobody would jump. There is no way you would've ever got onto LADbible were it not for me. Okay, I agree. I have no regrets when it comes to my producing career. The only thing I wish I'd produced was a condom on the night my mother and I conceived you. I really hope you've misread that. I mean, I hope it says YOUR mother. I know people have preconceptions about posh families and incest, but I assure you... Oh yes, I see where I've gone wrong there, yes. Yes. Right. It's quite impressive to be fronting a Netflix show at 84 years old. Usually people your age are fronting adverts offering a free pen if you start to plan your funeral. Your adverts, by the way, on your podcast are an absolute joke. We have the tonic water. Nobody drinks Schweppes anymore. They all drink Fever-Tree. Right, are you doing the advert now? Also, we know both of the people who founded Fever-Tree. That is the lamest namedrop ever. One of them was called Charlie Rolls and he was a neighbour of ours in Putney, and I said to Charlie Rolls, "Of all the things that you could have picked... ...it will never happen... It's Schweppes, Schweppes! Not a f**king hope in hell!" We're just talking about brands forgotten. How are we talking about the origin story of Fever-Tree? But look what's happened, they've wiped out poor old Schwet.. Schwepp... Schweppes. I think he's having a stroke. I think I might have another glass of this. If that happens again, we might need to act fast. Yeah, you did one advert for tonic water. Every other advert on that podcast is for, like, cruise ships. It's for health insurance. You did one with Hilary the other day for TENA Lady. It's saying a lot about your demographic. I had no idea what TENA, I thought it was to do with the singing tenor. No. I thought it meant ladies with deep and fruity voices at the opera. Right. But it wasn't, it was apparently to do with the business department - Incontinence pants. - of ladies. I've always said you look good with a beard or as I call her, Roxy Horner. You take my partner's name outta your motherf**king mouth, otherwise I will slap you upside the head. Where would you slap? Upside the head. Upside the head? Right. Scientists say drinking red wine has anti-ageing benefits, but you have done very well to prove them wrong. Yeah, as you know, I don't really drink very much red wine nowadays, but now I tend to drink a lighter white wine. Otherwise I fall asleep, sometimes I get incoherent. And that's the problem with your mother. When I married her, she was a very, very young girl. Now she's not as young as she was and she's not very good at going up and down those steps into the cellar when I want a drink. Still thinking about you having sex with your mother, to be honest. Jack Whitehall is a prime example of how hardworking people just need to roll up their sleeves and be born into a billionaire's family. It's that simple. No, I got to where I am through hard graft. It is also ridiculous to suggest that I am that kind of family. What? Well, I mean I'm a millionaire, but not billionaire, it's ridiculous. Who do you think you are? No, I'm not talking about the TV show you were on, but one of the things you shout to the postman every day. Who do you think you are? What's my name, where am I? Why are my pants wet? Yeah, very good. Not wet anymore after you got that hookup with TENA Lady. You starred in three episodes of Thunderbirds, which is perfect for you because you've been wooden in everything I've ever seen you in. Wow. That is a low blow. You're an elderly Brexiteer, you put the Tory into suppository. Good. Yeah, like that. Good one. I've gone off the Tories anyway. But still very into suppositories. You pulled out of university after just two terms. I wish I pulled out, I wouldn't have to be doing this roast if I had. Wow. What do you think? Yeah. Do you like that? Yeah. Quite classy, I thought, as a finale. This show's gone from, you know, that level right down the pan, hasn't it really? Yeah, maybe it's time for us to pull out. I think it is. And finish all over the table. Jeez.