When My Dad Dropped The C Bomb | Jack Whitehall

[Applause] so I haven't yet mentioned where my father lies in all of this uh which is really to not give a flying F about any of it cuz uh my dad right he's uh he's from an older generation of fathers he's quite old-fashioned uh old-fashioned racist because he's an older dad you know like oh we got dads in tonight show up hands where are the dads in the room put your hands up ads couple of ads that one took ages to go up Sir you're not sure whether the child's yours we got a lot in common I like Chinese food she was Chinese I just put her in the car no keep your hands up dads keep your hands up dads keep your hands in the air now want you to keep your hands up if you think of yourselves as being cool dads cool dads keep your hands up one over there we got no more cool dad over there this one's staying up you think you're a cool dad are you so what's your name you got a cool dad's name l or Troy what's your name cool Dad what's your name Graham so greme cool dad cool dad Graeme what do you do greme you got a cool Dad's job like a jet ski instructor or marine biologist what do you do Graeme svea a now what I wanted to ask is whether you're like you know you one of those cool dads you know that's always trying to sleep with your children's friends how old you your children that's what I should have asked sh oh that's your child God I'm Sor how old is she 13 right you don't want to be spping with any of her friends you need to wait 2 years don't run more than two three three this isn't going well no what I wanted to know is whether you've this is awkward with your child sitting there this doesn't normally happen have you prepared for the birds and the Beast talk you laughed your wife was said no hasn't yeah you need to prepare for the birds and the Beast tall it's very important you prepare for it cuz if you don't you'll [ __ ] it up and it will never be as bad as what my dad showed me not showed that's sound terrible didn't Jack come in here right this is the way your mother likes it just lean over and spank her tit yeah sorry that's a rough image for me as well cuz my mom's tits are rank they're no they're not they're lovely not lovely oh she's in tonight that's awkward the no I didn't really get a bird on the bees talk from my dad all I got right is when I was about say 15 I think it was 15 right my dad picked me up from school in the car we were driving along in the car in complete silence he hadn't said anything to me and we stopped at the traffic lights and he just turned to me and he went Jack I've had a lock installed on your door the last thing I want is your mother Hillary to walk in and find you having one off the wrist that's all I got from him cuz my dad is's quite a Stern man all right he's quite a Stern man my dad two brief stories that sort of set him up so you can understand what my dad is like both of them involve my dad right watching the news with me CU that's when he's at his most done the first of which right we were watching this news story and it was a very sad story it was really emotional it was about this girl right and she'd been shot in like a driveby shooting outside of KFC in Brixton it was horrible they were interviewing friends family Witnesses a lot of Tears it was really emotionally engaging and it got to the end and the news reporter summed it up he said an innocent woman has been Gunn down in her prime stood outside a KFC restaurant here in Brixton back to you in the studio there was a pause in my sitting room and my dad turned to me and he went huh that's not a restaurant not the point the other one which in my mind is even worse right okay me and my dad watching the news with my mom in the kitchen lovely little family dinner the news is on in the background a story came on about a certain Robert mugabi okay right now my dad is not really a fan of Robert mugabi um I mean no one's a fan of Robert mugabi we've got any fans in I suggest you leave now cuz you won't like this next bit but Robert mcabby was on the screen I can see my dad was getting quite ey rate he was trem in there was veins popping out of his forehead he was getting really angry and then suddenly from nowhere he just erupted the biggest temper tantrum I'd ever seen him throw he stood up from the table started shouting at the TV oh my God he is the most odious man he's a ghastly wretched redian little pimp he's a horrible odious nasty wretched ghastly he said it in front of my mom my dad dropped the seab bomb and my mother went ballistic she went Michael how dare you I realize that he is a terrible man but you do not use that word in this household you do not use that word in front of my children my dad no word of a lie swung around looked her dead in the eye and he said this is typical of you Hillary you are always defending mukabi [Applause] [Music]