Settle Down Outtakes Part 1 | Jack Whitehall

ladies and Gentlemen please welcome to the stage Mr Jack [Applause] [Music] whitall yes good evening London wow o to Arena Saturday night people this is what it's all about Netflix special in London at the oour arena and I see they got my request to put all the youngest sexiest people in the front row very nice always one that slips through the net sir what's your name fella what's your name Robert Bobby my man Robert this is great howery from the venue putting all the organic produce next to the wonky veg young people make some noise yes very debatable sir I uh give me a cheer uh did anyone bring their dad this evening oh that's a bit tragic I left mine at home I'm afraid it's not panto I uh no we had a good run of working together me and my dad but he uh you know we have now consciously uncoupled I'm afraid uh no sorry don't feel sorry for him to be clear very much his decision ision that guy got one Taste of Fame when he was like off you jack he never stops working my dad has got side hustles Galore he's got his own podcast now reality television the other day I turned on the Last of Us he popped up as one of the Living Dead he can't say no to a job mark my words I bet you Michael White Hall has had his agent waiting poised by the phone all week for the moment they revealed the identity of that BBC presenter he'll be in there like a rat up a drain pipe how good would that be by the way Michael wh Hall taking over the hot seat for the news at 10 that was the headlines now it's time for the weather off been a bit of a weird week hasn't it I can't be the only person as well that every time I see a headline like that I just think the same thing BBC enter in sex scandal please don't be aten BR please don't be aten BR my dad told me the other day right the exact moment that he no longer wanted to do Travels With My Father apparently it coincided with the exact moment that I was written out of his will and that was the moment that I tricked my 82-year-old father in Los Angeles into doing naked yoga that's not a great angle for me on the big screen is it I don't know I don't think I would do naked yoga again my big mistake right was doing it in Los Angeles that is not a place that you want to get your kit off I have never felt so insecure about my body in my entire life cuz all the men in La very metrosexual right they're all waxed and tanned and moisturized and bleached yes bleached they are bleaching parts of their anatomy in Los Angeles that in Britain we very much leave to the elements Robert my man Dare I ask have you ever considered any anal bleaching no of course you haven't I bet you're so looks like something that a badger would live in and enough about Robert I this naked Yogi Rob in front of me uh the bleach man okay he bent over at one point to do I think it's called downward dog or although yeah admittedly from my angle it was more of a winking Cyclops I don't what kind of materials he had been using to buff this thing up but honestly it was effervescent he bent over his bottocks parted it was like opening the door of a fridge it lit up the room and confusing for me but I'm a young man I can take this in my stride my dad is 82 years old can you imagine how confused he was I turned to my left at one point I think Daddy thought it was the end I saw him moving towards the light I will carry out that by saying I am actually a little bit more metrosexual these days uh because I recently got bought by my partner the most passive aggressive gift that you can get from a girlfriend she got me something called the manscaper do we have any other fellow manscapers in the room this evening three guys over there every other man in the room is like chewbaca from the neck down did you say yes in the front row no I heard a yes and then I looked down at you I was like wow that is a turn up for the books fell I don't know why I'm asking this I'm sorry but no I does the uh uh curtain match the carpet a bit that would be [ __ ] amazing if you just went all in on the beard but then for everything else was just like Smooth like a dolphin I've got beard Envy already fella I uh I've been using my manscaper quite a lot right and uh I had this situation recently though I'm having a little scape of my mandm and uh I look down into the manscaper and I saw a stray red hair yeah little straggler little ginger hair in the manscaper I was like oh my God maybe I'm going Ginger down there I I Googled it not medically possible nothing on WebMD about delayed onset ging so then I was like wait a second if this hair doesn't belong to me then who the hell does it belong to oh my God another man has been scaping in my house I confronted my misses when she came back from the shops holding a loft the offending hair I was like who is he what's his name she came clean she was laughing in my face do you know how that hair had ended up in my manscaper cuz my girlfriend had been using my personal grooming instrument on the dog I should have seen the warning signs I was the only guy in the park whose dog had a Brazilian she did a lovely little job [Music] he [Music]