Bachelorette Recap REUNION- Jenn Tran ep 9 S29 | Jared Freid Instagram Scream Recap

so we start the men tell all episode with Grant telling his mom that he's going to be the future Bachelor and this conversation goes smoother than any conversation has ever gone with my own mom my mom would be like what why am I on speaker Elaine satchler I play pickle ball with her why are you talking about her i' like no I'm going to be the bachelor she'd be like who would want you to be the Bachelor I'm like no I'm calling with the cameras on did you make a dentist appointment I I I made the dentist appointment I don't believe you here we go one woman 14 men who are going to tell you about a great deal they found in The Tick Tock shop next week let's do it and we are back in the Dome of the undata bles every season the most single people in America gather to celebrate someone finding love look at this is way too excited for anyone to be cheering on another person to find like a boyfriend like this woman I mean that's how you yell when you win the pric is right and now in an unprecedented turn the dome of the undatable starts to chant Jesse's name they've anointed him their King he's like come on enough I'm married I have a kid I'm not like you people I also played golf on three different countries and all I did was say we're on the final rows I mean I I get paid a lot of money for this enough with me Grant's going to be joining us right Jesse says that Grant is here look at the women go crazy look at this woman made a sign at home she's like this is my formal application I wore a sweater in the middle of the summer does that make me crazy enough to go on a dating show did I do I get in this is my favorite part they introduce the guys the Spanish dancing one the Italian restaurant matri d our sweet baby hakee the body positivity movement the guy who's going to become a doctor and we hope doesn't become an influencer the bar mitzvah boy the guy who wore too much green the hard hands guy double wave guy cuz everyone took all the good introductions guy who wears pearls cuz he's totally confident of his masculinity the villain the guy who learned a Tik Tock dance and the guy who loves Jordan Peterson and hope he sees this so he can become his intern Jesse says that last week things took a dramatic turn and we're going to find out about Devon and Jen well you're going to find out next week and the crowd is not happy about it I mean look at this woman she's like Jesse I need this I need to find out now I just gave away my last rose on hinge and the guy never got back to me this is all I have and then he's like just kidding kid going to fight out Jesse do not do this to the Dome of the undata bles they are hanging on by a thread like look at these people they're like please Jessie our emotions can't take this right now so we go back to Hawaii where Devin leaves his two queen bedro that faces the parking lot to go approach Jen in her standard king bedroom and tell her that he can't take this anymore Devon tells Jen that he's been the Third option before and he doesn't feel like he's the priority and Jen claims that she doesn't know how to put words to it she's not good at expressing herself and this woman down here is just not buying it that's the most not buying it face I've ever seen she's the mascot for not buying it I'm going to start bringing around this picture of her for when I'm not buying it that's how not buying it this woman is not buying it I don't blame Devon for being upset he said I love you over over 100 times Jen has really given him back not a lot and where did this woman come from is that Susie Orman is she going to give tips on how to have a good Financial life with your significant other this woman looks like she got lost on the way to complain to management that is complain to management hair I do love you you fre so after a 10minute speech she's like I do love you you you freaking idiot well I don't think he's such an idiot I mean this woman is way too happy how are you this happy she spent 10 minutes waffling and then she said I love you she had to think about it she didn't open the door and say I love you that's the face of open the door I love you where have You' been all my life not well you know it's hard for me to say things that I don't know how to put words to um you know what are those magic three words no this phes for I got into the school of my choice not I love you after a 10-minute waffle so we go to the Rose ceremony and I got to say Marcus and Devin dress correctly and then Jonathan always looks like he's wearing a rehearsal dinner outfit to the wedding it also looks like he lost his pants and he was like does anyone um that's around 5'3 have a pair of pants I could wear I like when they cut me at the calves and the final Rose goes to Marcus this woman is shocked she's like oh my God you mean to tell me the guy she said I love you to and then wouldn't say it back but still would hook up with her got the rose that never happens nobody ever gets attached to someone who kind of breadcrumbs them so Devon and Marcus are left and Jonathan is brought to the breakup bench whenever there's a breakup there's going to be a bench if I were on The Bachelorette I wouldn't even walk near benches I'd be like oh I know what happens there you'd have to treat benches like you treat saying the word vet around a dog like you'd have to totally avoid it you'd have to like have benches sneak up on us because I wouldn't even walk within 30 yards of one so they bring Jonathan into the Dome of the undata bles a very warm reception from the D they're like one of us one of us your sweatpants and body pillow are waiting for you back stage join us we bring you in with good tidings to the Dome of the undata bles we shall hold you against our bosom and make you feel well again so they have a whole interview with Brett who was on the show for like half a second social media and he's like why do you think people took to you and Brett's like I don't know how to tell you this um I think I'm the first ever contestant who has eaten cheese before um maybe there was some relatability with the audience at home maybe they're telling you something that we need more relatable people on this show maybe me being on for 5 seconds is a sign that the Dome of the undata bles is literally here screaming to be given the opportunity to find love so we have this whole thing with Aaron and his twin brother was on the show too his twin brother looks like the sick version of him like if they were in a movie it' be like this is him in the beginning of the movie and this is him like they say I got two months but I'm going to keep fighting Jewish Jeremy is here and he really went for it with the outfit he's like my mom found this chocolate suit on sale at Bloomingdale and this necklace is David Yurman I got it from my aunts and uncles at my so then Sam M comes to the couch to try and explain himself and he really does speak in Luke Bryan and Morgan whan lyrics he's just like you know I just didn't know how to protect my heart by the Wasps at the willow tree and keeping the main thing the main thing with a Bud Light in my gal and a Chevy he drives a ridgel line I drive a Chevy we're two different bucks from two different Chucks but I'll learn Matthew MCC hey noise so Jonathan explains the end of him and Jen and there's not a lot to be told and then Jesse's like are you still single are you still incredibly good-looking with your shirt off cuz we're inviting you to paradise and the women go wild and then for some reason this guy's really happy Jonathan got invited to Paradise he's like this is like classic sidekick face he's like hey johonny you're going to Paradise baby this is good for both of us you can send me the Instagram handles of all the chicks you're going after I can go look at their pictures and then follow their random friends and then send fire emojis to all their stories and then be like yeah I'm Jonathan's friend he was on Paradise let's do it baby so they have this ad in the middle of the show for The Secret Lives of Mormon wives and then they just keep the camera on Hakeem they're like get the Hakeem cam up we need him reacting to Mormon women twerking to Mormon women having kids to Mormon women who are pretty hot but they're still Mormon he is literally the heart and soul of a Nation right now watching the preview to the Mormon wives show so they bring in Grant our next Bachelor the Dome of the undata bles goes wild Jesse big broh hug Hakeem loves him the women love him this girl right here loves them but she won't unbend her arm she's like I get sweat stains but I do like Grant just going to keep this sign a little bit lower so that I don't have the sweat stains on TV I'm sure we could all understand we've all been there 10 so there have been 10,000 submissions since Grant was announced as The Bachelor and look how pumped hakee is he's like he can only have one though that means 99,999 women for your boy hakee to become friends with and listen to their dating issues that's right ladies get ready for sweet baby hakee to talk you through whatever you're going through Jesse then tells him to get used to showering on camera cuz there's a lot of laughing natur Nation loves a good laugh and look at the Dome of the undata bles agrees look at these two women they're like yes we're going to objectify you I'm going to take a picture of you in the shower while you're on TV and then hanging up in my bathroom I'm going to start calling that picture my boyfriend and then I won't be in the Dome of the undatable anymore so they go to Hakeem to ask him when he thinks of Grant and he's like he's the best he's my mentor and then he goes into this like God stuff honestly he a man of God too so he's helped me find God through him as well Grant's like okay thank you Hakeem easy on the god stuff yep uh still like a premarital fantasy sweet every now and again but thank you hakee so they bring out Jen and the Dome of the datatables goes wild Jonathan basically has a flashback to the fantasy suite and then they show Sam M who looks like the bad guy from Hallmark movie after they've been defeated like he didn't get the deed to the family farm or the woman Jen gets her moment to trash Sam M and it's really anticlimactic cuz Sam m is just kind of taking it and he's already kind of apologized and he's only going to speak in Matthew mccon noises and Morgan whan lyrics relationship this would only work if they had a Hakeem cam while it was going on the only reason I would want this I want a third person on the screen oh hold on okay this is way better isn't this better she's like you didn't take accountability you blame the producers the editors this feels right so they check in with charity and dotton charity was our last Bachelorette and they talk about how they went on a trip to Greece and dotton got sick they must have had to really fill some time because they're like well we're going to give you another trip to Greece and it's like okay cool we'll take a trip again if I'm them I'm like hey we just went to Greece how about Italy how about the White Lotus Hotel or something like that no okay okay yeah we'll go back to Greece I guess if you have to fill this episode so now it's time for the bloopers I've never been a fan of the bloopers I don't want our hot people being in on the joke I love all you guys you guys are amazing but then I was like hakee tells them I love you and I I'm I'm hoping the blooper is these guys being like well we like you but we don't love you is that the blooper hem saying I love you and them going well we just met a week ago that would be a funny blooper to me you can tell they didn't have a lot of material for this episode because they spend the last 10 minutes putting a spider on Hakeem like one of The Producers was like yeah we're a little bit short we'll bring out Hakeem we'll put a bug on him we put it as close to his crotch as possible and we'll watch him freak out for a bit we're going to ring this Hakeem towel dry whether he likes it or not so there is a happy ending here they invite Hakeem to be on Paradise my prayers have been answered and look at Hakeem reacts to being asked on Paradise as if he's been in the pageant circuit for years and finally he's getting his shot to win a regional like this is a hug huge moment for all of us hakee fans thank and that's it for The Bachelorette and that's it for me I'll be back next Tuesday with the finale share this show that I put together with a friend a coworker a brother a sister a mama a papa and I'll be back