Bachelorette Recap - Jenn Tran ep 6 S29 | Jared Freid Instagram Scream Recap

here we go one woman seven men 0 in 401K savings let's do it we are suddenly in Seattle and Jen is walking down a road under a bridge that looks like it should be in an episode of Law and Order SVU why would they put her here there's got to be a better place for her to walk as slow as possible they're like no no no go down the scary road yeah heroin way it's no no no it sounds worse than it is I cannot imagine how much this would annoy me if I was ever startled by The Bachelor dudes yelling the name of the woman they're dating like I get angry when I hear an ambulance siren in New York City I'm like oh can you die somewhere else never mind seven men dating one woman screaming her name but they don't even really know her middle name Jeremy is wearing the most ridiculous coat I have ever seen it has a pocket for his pocket protector it looks like he went to Bloomingdales and killed a bear and then turned it into a jacket that's too big for him this is gratuitous so charity is here former Bachelorette to help Jen on her journey I'll never understand hey let's get advice on the most important decision I'll ever make from someone I met 15 minutes ago let's hear what she has to say about who I should marry I said Jeremy boobby I'm a winter coat this is a little too soon for me I know I know I'm comfy cozy but I'm also unfuckable this is a coat you show your girlfriend after 2 months of dating you and she's stuck but here I am this is like the 15th Hotel they've stayed and they still react like Kevin mallister at the plaza like I who looks at this and is excited oh cool radios will never use we could like look at these they could be in the way of where we' put stuff so the one-on-one goes to Marcus this will be his second one-on-one of the show okay and he's ready look at Spencer Spencer looks like the type of guy who calls his mom to ask her what he should wear for work the next day like he looks like he's like ah I hope I wore the right jacket with the right pants she's going to kill me when she watches this so the Box contained a green varsity jacket that definitely looks about a size smallish on him like if I were him I'd be like can I see see the XL just just to see what it looks like he's going to wear this like I wear every single one in my suit jackets just full of rationalizations like yeah I'll just leave it open the whole day I I won't button it I'll wear a thin shirt underneath it that'll help I hope and I won't bend over or make any sudden moves yeah I'll be fine at rosashana so here's Jen for the oneon-one and she goes and looks into that telescope over there everyone who's ever tried to look in those telescopes knows that you have to pay or else you can't see anything so she's just looking into darkness right now and a little if I'm her I'm going to play this off like that didn't happen she's just like walking away she's like okay just walk away let's act like that was a totally worthwhile experience to touch a telescope that has been touched by every homeless person in Seattle City so we find out so much fun to celebrate the new movie that's what you thought Jesse Jesse's never on the show and now we got a sponsored content date brought to you by Wicked coming to theaters this fall from the Walt Disney Corporation and he's all jazzed up he's like you know what I was thinking it's the Emerald City and I'm being paid millions of dollars to do very little and my bosses are here from the Disney Corporation so why don't we have a date sponsored by Wicked coming out this fall so Jesse drops this curtain and now here's Wicked way sponsored by Disney and here's Kelsey who won Joey's season and then Daisy is back you might remember her from her music video which I'll show on the next slide as well as her ability to bring up her clear implant at any opportunity where there's a prospective follower she will find a way to bring up the clear imp [Music] so here's Kelsey and Daisy Kelsey explains that they put together a whole thing brought to you by Wicked coming out this fall Daisy's like hold on sorry I couldn't hear that whole Spiel let me turn on the CER implant you can hear more about that on TiK ToK by following me at Daisy coclear implant.com and then she goes on to explain that they're going to like go down the re yellow brick road so they have to choose which box they're going to go with together exactly that on this journey they choose spicy cuz of course he's like maybe I'll get blown uh oh no it's just Peppers this would be a bad thing for me I'd be like okay I hope the next station we can decide on which toilet to go to because I'm about to need one this one was to be playful and now they're on a bunch of pillows making out like there's people here just trying to enjoy the city of Seattle battle they're like oh yeah that's a couple that are doing some dry humping don't worry about them the pillows uh totally clean I can't believe they're going to clean up these pillows while there's like a massive homeless situation in Seattle they're like yeah yeah yeah no no no throw them back in the truck no one needs them here so now they have to choose between slow and fast and he's like well what do you mean like physically cuz that I could go a little faster than this handholding stuff but if you mean relationship wise you know I'm going to need about a year of us being in the talking phase so really depends what you mean here they pop these balloons and inside of them are like letters and keepsakes and pictures look at how long this letter is I would give up on sentence two and then just fake it and hope that the other person was reading this is like I mean I would need a nap in the middle of this thing so Trista is here our first ever Bachelorette Disney really gave the D me to make this date a special branded content by Wicked coming out this fall and now of course Jen is going to go into the sky like they usually do every date has involved some sort of flying away I would be a little bit concerned with the bellowing of the balloon I I want a tight balloon this one is really closer doesn't look so full like I want the balloon Fuller and then they make out and happily ever after maybe so they have a date in a baseball stadium and Jen is back in a fuzzy Shaw that's right the suitcase full of fuzzy Shaws made it from New Zealand this one is emerald green sponsored by Wicked coming out this fall what's she going to do with all these fuzzy Shaws I mean does she give them away does she have this many fuzzy Shaw opportunities coming up after she's done with the show I don't know I don't think anyone does so Jen has a blanket and the fuzzy Shaw at this point let's just wear sleeves and jacket if you need a blanket and the fuzzy Shaw we're we are now in the territory of too many throws so this gets very serious we find out that Marcus and his sister were like dropped off at daycare and his parents just disappeared they were in the Foster program they would get adopted then unadopted the story is heartbreaking if I'm back at the hotel I want to know that Marcus's story is like like very serious like I don't want to go on the show and then be like hey Jen I have to tell you my heartbreaking tale of being a kind of overweight in high school like I I have to know that this story happened so that I don't bring up my woes of eating snack Wells and chips with oene on them because I was a little overweight so the group date is at a radio station and Jenna is going to get love advice from Bender and Jubal they have like an Opposites Attract radio show I'm sure I am sure that they argue from two different standpoints I mean Bender looking more hot Santa Claus Jubal looking more scares the living crap out of me and I I don't know if I want love advice from jubble to tell you that I we might have very different opinions on you know where tattoos should go and who we should marry but maybe I'm willing to find out so Jason mesnik and Molly actually did this same date and now they're back so this is a throwback look at Jason who looks like he's like yeah Disney paid me a lot of money to be here I've been trying to get out of this game for 20 years and they just keep bringing us back we got College to pay for so I'm just going to smile my way through this and then Molly and I will fight in the car about that one chick I made out with before I made out with her so let's get this going they bring in the men and they play this like word association game and he says fantasy sweet and Sam Sam says aggressive and they're like excuse me really look at Molly's like Sam I'm lost in your eyes did you say you get a little rough in the bedroom I've been telling Jason this is what he needs to do he's like okay relax samam don't give her any ideas Sam is having a hard time they ask him how he feels about Jen just fire and like strong passion so uh yeah to say that uhoh I've been doing nothing but Falling he's this is like a short circuit he's like uh fire uh the main thing the main thing Computing Computing Furious Love brought to you by Wicked coming out this fall what what so Sam has a total meltdown and then they go okay the rest of the men can leave this guy who's unraveling we're going to have him stick around and talk a little bit more listen to what he says got out of the limo I'm like okay this girl is not my type oh my God he's like I'm going to keep the real thing the real thing and you ain't my type I usually like a big Diddy of fat ass but I thought you know what I'll Stick Around get the free drinks and then maybe we could have a furious love these answers are just wild he is breaking down your selflessness he just saying selfless person as well how do you know that I'm selfless he's like selfless I don't know the meaning of the word selfless I mean you're either selfless or you're full yeah he sounds like a kid who's at the spelling be and is like searching for help can you say the word selfless in a sentence can you say it over and over again like in a sentence like I'm going to keep the selflessness the selflessness like the main thing thing that I do I mean look at them reacting to Sam they're like go on look at even the guy who's probably on pills oh he's falling asleep he's like wake me up when this guy stops doing diarrhea of the mouth you know it's an epic meltdown when a man brings up Love Languages cuz we only know our love language based off of what an ex told us our love language was physical touch he's like physical touch so yeah let's make out in front of these other people they are just like look at Santa Claus he's like I don't know if this is consensual look at Molly's like I wish Jason would do that to me every now and again so Jen tries to get Sam to open up on the nighttime portion of the date it's a tough feeling Sam always feels like he is giving a book report on a book he didn't read he's like I believe that the giver is about a furious love Sam is really struggling here she's like can you just tell me how you feel and he's like I don't got a line from The Notebook to regurgitate to you come on the main thing is the main thing isn't that enough for you to hear Luke briyan LC Morgan whan lyric Matthew MCC noise please just believe me okay now he goes back to the hits talking about you know ferocious love talking about Reckless Love ferocious and Reckless he's back in his back in the pocket there's no substance he is so struggling there he's going to try out other movie lines I'm a little confused and he's like no okay I heard Furious he's like show me the money you complete me can I do quotes from the office will that help shut you up so Jewish Jeremy gets the one one date in Seattle at the public market he's like I've been here before it was on my teen tour have you ever heard of a teen tour I went on combo Camp musicer so now they go to a palm reader and no one has looked more like they trust the vibe of a crystal more than this woman she's like well the crystal that is up my tus right now tells me me that Jeremy your mom might take issue with the non- jewishness of this woman am I correct so then they go to this like Gum Wall Jeremy tries to touch the Gum Wall now he's actually touching it I can hear Jeremy's mom in Connecticut screaming Jeremy don't touch the wall do you know how many germs are on there you're susceptible to get sick you are always sick as a baby so now they're doing the classic Seattle Fish toss if I'm Jeremy this is the moment I'm bringing up how she eats a bagel and locks I'm like okay Jen would you eat a cinnamon bagel with butter on it that's very not Jewish that would disappoint me in a very spiritual way would you put locks with onion and tomato and scallion on everything bagel would you toast that bagel I need answers okay Jeremy gets down to business jokes like oh kind of marri you but like also both m i mean there's nothing more Jewish guy than date one how we going to raise these kids I don't you to convert I don't need you to con I don't expect you to convert I do expect to go to the high holidays and maybe go to Passover seder and send the kids to summer camp but as long as you do that in the the Buddhist religion it could work Jeremy is going to get a rose we're going to meet oh I can hear her mom screaming right now yeah we're going to meet the mishbah she's like I it's Misha okay will you accept this we're going to have to get a holla we're going to have to get bagels I'm going to have to put a whole thing together she's coming over so Jen decides that she needs answers from Sam and she runs in on the guys they all react like they were all like masturbating together like what no no no nothing no no no no that that sock it's for I'm just changing my socks so yeah just one of the feet just one one foot changing one foot yep that's what I do I have one foot that sweats more than the other so I had a sock in my hand to change that one sock she finds Sam and she's like I need to know if you're taking this seriously and he's like just sitting here staring at myself in the mirror like any normal guy who isn't a narcissist just making sure that I've unbuttoned one too many buttons on my shirt to show how serious I am so Jen sits down Sam and he goes straight into lines from a Hallmark movie it's crazy trying to walk this fine line of being born walk this fine line in the same breath of keeping the main thing the main thing for me to see it is to get furious again to fall in love again look she's like literally looking at him like did was was that from The Goonies I I swear that's what chunk said to the rest of the team on the gooni Sam literally sounds like he's giving the most boring best man speech of all time is Selfless Love is selfless love is furious love is understand love is keeping the main thing the main thing love is wearing a [ __ ] ring around your neck at all times just in case you got to have some sensual love making in a closet that is love I honestly can't believe he is still talking it is like a Sam robot has malfunctioned over and over again he's like Computing Computing keep the main thing the main thing Computing computing love is furious Computing Computing Furious Love Computing Computing Luke Brian Computing Computing Morgan whin Matthew MCC The Notebook finally Jen gets up from this conversation Sam sits there he's like I guess I'm not using the [ __ ] ring today going to have to tuck it away for another Furious Love okay enough Jen at this point she's dragging this out there's nothing he could say that would make her forget all this other crap that he's been saying so let's just send him home maybe you guys like do some hand stuff in the broom closet so you get it out of your system but it's over he he's what is he going to say the right thing now so finally Jen says goodbye Sam packs up his eggplant colored suit he keeps the real thing the main thing he does look like he's about to tell the camera she's not even that hot anyways like he does have that vibe that he would just turn and become the real villain that he's always been on a dime energy she brought was very D see not my fault you he just told her he loved her and then he's like yeah I guess I'll go home she's kind of boring immediately just crushes her I'm keeping the main thing the main thing no boring days just going to Sam him it up so we're here at the Rose ceremony I got to say this about Jen she doesn't really have a type this is a very like very different group of men like high school drug dealer guy whose dad has a yacht guy who calls you baby girl guy who is a trainer at Equinox guy who talks a lot about his varsity football days guy who says he has Celiac so he can't have gluten and he's not one of those glutenfree people who fakes it it is actually a problem for him and if he has it he will have to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom so please let him know that there's gluten in something if you're going to let him try it this is a serious issue they the one thing they do have in common is none of of them can find a tailor who knows how to hem a pant so Grant and Spencer get sent home and Spencer's taken this really hard Jen looks on from the I won't be having sex with you window if that is weird when I break up with someone I am running away I do not want to be seen like what if he turned around like hey yeah do you need something I'd be like no no no just looking at the the clouds it's a beautiful night we're still broke and then in an unprecedented move Spencer calls his mom while crying to let her know the tough news he's like Mama go what does this mean tell father I will be summering with you get the yart ready lay out my silk PJs I will be sleeping at home this weekend and that's it for The Bachelorette and that's it for me I will be back next week share share share let a friend know about the show I'm doing here I'll be back boom hometowns