Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

Thank you so much for being here. glad to be here. i am so excited to have you both on in this moment in particular. there's been a real vibe shift here with kamala harris entering the race. and rebecca, you wrote this incredible article that i felt so beautifully articulated this collective feeling... Read more

Category: Sports

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Category: Comedy

I remember we had this old woman once she came in friday afternoon 5:55 hello i need to buy a birthday card for my grandson if you're not out the shop in 5 minutes love the only card he's going to be requiring is a condolence card make it qui cuz that's the thing isn't it there are some things right... Read more

Category: Comedy

That's a bit of fun you can have right if with nervous flyers i shouldn't say this because i am myself a nervous flyer but this is definitely something you can do a little prank if you will go to a fancy dress high costume shop rent yourself a pilot's outfit get a really good one the capat the jacket... Read more

Category: Comedy

[applause] so i haven't yet mentioned where my father lies in all of this uh which is really to not give a flying f about any of it cuz uh my dad right he's uh he's from an older generation of fathers he's quite old-fashioned uh old-fashioned racist because he's an older dad you know like oh we got... Read more

Category: Comedy

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome to the stage mr jack [applause] [music] whitall yes good evening london wow o to arena saturday night people this is what it's all about netflix special in london at the oour arena and i see they got my request to put all the youngest sexiest people in the front row... Read more

Category: Comedy

We also get couple envy in our relationship i don't know whe anyone else suffers from that we had it recently right we were in a restaurant someone really suffers from it i go away i we were in a restaurant in greece right and there was this old couple in the restaurant at one of the tables like properly... Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] i mean the world for young people right now is no you're good and so how old are you i'm pr2 oh you'll be you got so many we're gonna this we're going to ruin this so much you have no idea what we've got planned you are walking into thunderdome uh no you're honestly like we do this all the time... Read more

Category: Comedy

(upbeat music) - the first question somehow ended up on the auto industry rescue. - and i know he keeps saying, "you wanted to take detroit bankrupted." well the president took detroit bankrupted. you took general motors bankrupted. you took chrysler bankrupted. that was precisely what i recommended,... Read more

Category: Comedy

Intro our next guest is the voice of six super bowls and 24 world series next week he takes over play-by-play duties on monday night football on espn and abc please welcome joe buck [applause] first time on the show how are you i'm good i can't believe this is your first time on the show it is my first... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. ladies and gentlemen, folk, you know my next guest tonight from her scene-stealing performances in movies like "gone baby gone" and shows including "the office" and "only murders in the building." she now stars in the new film "wolfs." please... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Every time when america makes a movie about africa it doesn't make sense to africans yeah i was watching the lion king the other day i was like why do these lions have american accents and they like in africa and here the messed up part the only animal they gave an accent was the monkey what yeah and... Read more

Category: Comedy

Our first guest is an oscar nominated emy awardwinning actor playwright and director his latest movie sing sing is in theaters now please welcome coleman domingo [applause] [music] [applause] [music] you know i knew i this i knew you're going to be here so this morning i spent about an hour thinking... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Close to 10 million instagram users have liked swift's post explaining her decision to back harris and her running mate tim wals the harris walls campaign is selling out of taylor swift tribute friendship bracelets after the singer's endorsement not to be outdone the trump campaign responded with their... Read more

Category: Comedy

हां भाई क्या चल रहा ये कृष्णा के साथ क्या चल रहा पहले मेरे को वो याद है मिटी नहीं की साइज मैटर्स मतलब साइज डिफरेंट होते हैं फिर दूसरी वाली फोटो प जाके हवस की ला टपका दी चलो वो तो बंदी निकली तो फिर हम उसे छोड़ देते हैं आज फिर कृष्णा की न्यूज है कृष्णा मेरी जिंदगी में बस गया है हे प्रभु मैं राधे राधे करने वाला इंसान हूं कृष्णा नहीं अरे आज नहीं है यार बट एक चीज अच्छी हुई है मैंने लास्ट टाइम जब कृष्णा कवर किया था सेकंड लास्ट टाइम उसम मैंने कहा था कि मेरे को... Read more

Category: Comedy

Keke palmer, welcome to the daily social distancing show. (chuckles) hey, how are you? it's good to see you, man. hey, i'm living, you know? living as-as best as i can during these times. and, uh, before we get into the-the heftier side of, you know, what's happening in life, i wanted to start off with... Read more

Category: Comedy

Our first guest tonight is a legend she is a two-time oscar winner and a frequently arrested champion of human rights please say hello to the one and only jaye [applause] [music] fonda guess what what i've got big news what happened taylor swift just endorsed kamala that's true right that really happened... Read more

Category: Entertainment

welcome. welcome one and all in here, out there, all around the world. to "the late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. make no mistake. we are live right now! coming to you from the ed sullivan theater after the first presidential debate. harris v. trump. kamala versus the trauma-la. donald versus... Read more

Category: Comedy

In springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating they're eating the pets of the people that live there Read more

Category: Comedy

Jimmy kimmel no talent now he wouldn't do a show i guy's terrible jimmy kimmel show's practically dead nobody will watch jimmy kimmel every night his ratings are terrible he's not a talented guy i thought he was our lousy host jimmy kimel live tonight on abc the worst network is abc i think abc is a... Read more