Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down the Presidential Debate Between Donald Trump & Kamala Harris

Jimmy Kimmel no Talent now he wouldn't do a show I guy's terrible Jimmy Kimmel Show's practically dead nobody will watch Jimmy Kimmel every night his ratings are terrible he's not a talented guy I thought he was our lousy host Jimmy Kimel live tonight on ABC the worst network is ABC I think ABC is a disgrace ABC is one of the worst Jimmy I love you so much from Hollywood it's Jimmy Kimble tonight Jane fond George Conway and music from Good Neighbor with Cleo and the cleto and now Jimmy [Applause] [Music] Kimble my fellow Americans I'm Jimmy Kim I'm the host of the show thank you for joining us after the debate All Eyes from sea to shining sea we're on the City of Brotherly Love tonight for the debate of the decade vice president kamla Harris versus former president Donald Trump it was like watching the Lorax debate the Grinch tonight usually when Donald Trump gets a spanking like this from a woman it's with a Forbes Magazine what a what a kamalo is pushing his buttons like a 12-year-old playing for fortnite it was oh this was a much better debate than the last debate uh this is like the Lion King when Simba came back to avenge Mufasa Trump's advisors before the debate they urged him to be happy Trump instead of mean bully Trump and to please focus on the issues of course he didn't listen to any of that at all but who are we kidding this election isn't about the issues I mean Dick Cheney isn't voting for KLA Harris because agrees with her on the issues he's voting for her because there's a rhinoceros charging and she has the tranquilizer gun there is I mean so much Insanity coming out of this Republican campaign this is what Trump was focused on this afternoon in the day of the debate he's posting cat memes I mean do you think he even knows these are AI he might be like oh my God these cats are carrying weapons these memes are part of what might be the dumbest Republican lie yet uh the story that Haitian immigrants in Springfield Ohio are eating the cats in the neighborhood this is what they're spreading around Ted Cruz posted please vote for Trump so Haitian immigrants don't eat us one of Trump's delegates posted this image of him rescuing CL which I'll tell I can buy Trump grabbing two at once I just I just can't imagine him running okay and it isn't just random Magan nuts and sweaty teddy doing this Trump's own running mate JD Vance is the main source of this nonsense he's been talking about this in speeches he's been posting about this as much as he can the City of Springfield in his State Ohio says there have been no credible reports of Haitians eating pets but JD Vance who wants to be vice president of the United States keeps bringing it up when CNN asked Vance's office why he is pushing such a blatant lie they said Senator Vance has received a high volume of calls and emails over the past several weeks from concerned citizens in Springfield his tweet is based on what he is hearing from them oh he's getting calls I didn't know he was getting calls now it makes sense I guess all you have to do to get JD Vance Start Spreading crazy things around is make calls this by the way is the direct line to his office 202 224 3353 whatever you do do not call that number to tell JD Vance that rainbow sprinkles at Baskin Robins turned your kids gay okay please do not distract the senator with this kind of silliness he has Haitian cat eaters to stop I have to believe that during the debate prep the one thing Donald Trump's handlers begged him not to mention was this thing about Haitians eating pets Please Mr President stick to the economy and uh the Border anything other than Ohio Haitians eating pets so what does he do well he Waddles right out there and says this in Springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating they're eating the pets of the people that live there here's what I'd like you to do right now I want you to close your ey I want you to imagine we've never heard of Donald Trump before and the first time you've ever seen him was during tonight's debate what would your reaction be right now you'd be in shock the Republican Party would have to close their headquarters and turn them into a Spirit Halloween store I just want to clarify here you bring up Springfield Ohio and ABC News did reach out to the city manager there he told us there have been no credible reports of specific claims of pets being harmed injured or abused by individuals within the Immigrant Community off I've seen people on television let me say here this is the people on television say my dog was taken and used for food so maybe he said that and maybe that's a good thing to say for a city manager I'm not taking this from telion people are television the dog was eaten by the people that went there he sees people on television so you know what else he sees on television he sees Steve Harvey he sees families having feuds he sees Fe these feuds would never happen if I was president that I can tell you the other stupid and racist thing Trump keeps doing is intentionally mispronouncing kamala's name sometimes it's kamla sometimes it's Kamala and sometimes he goes with both I say Kamala you say Cala I say Kamala you say Kamala Kamala Cala Kamala Kamala let's go a whole thing off thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank thank you you're welome thank you thank thank you you're welcome you're welcome you're welcome how is it possible that half of this country thinks it's a good idea to give the guy who tried to overthrow our government another chance to run our government like if someone poisoned all the jalapeno poppers at TGI Fridays you wouldn't interview him to be the chef would you GMA no you wouldn't never never never KLA at one point brought up project 2025 which is a plan Trump's minions have cooked up to give Trump unprecedented power over our government Trump claims he knows nothing about this and that he hasn't even read it which I do I believe the not reading it part that I do but not knowing anything about it I don't know there seem to be so many things Trump claims he knows nothing about let me ask you about project 2025 so you've publicly said that you don't have any direct connection to nothing I know nothing about it I know nothing about project 25 I know nothing about qan on I know nothing about it I know nothing about the indictment I know nothing about Wikileaks I have no idea who these women are I don't know anything about Russia I don't know Putin RFK I don't know anything about him I know nothing about white supremacists I don't know who the proud boys are I don't know anything about David Duke I know nothing about Hitler I don't know anything about it I don't know anything about it I don't know anything think about it I don't know anything think about it I didn't know anything about it I don't know anything about it I don't know who Little John is I don't I he was on The Apprentice I don't know a little guy named John nothing doesn't ring a bell there's so much he doesn't know but on the other tiny hand there's even more that he does know I know more about Isis than the the generals do I know more about weapons than just about anybody I know more about steel workers than anybody I know more about drones than anybody I know more about politicians than anybody I know more about technology than anybody I know more about ethanol than anybody I know more about wind than you do nobody knows Consultants better than me nobody knows more about trade Than Me Nobody Knows the system better than me nobody knows the banking industry better than me nobody knows more about environmental impact statements than me nobody knows more about it than me nobody knows it better than me nobody knows it better than me nobody knows it better than me nobody knows it better than me I know this menu better than you do okay I probably know it better than anybody here there you go Abraham Burger Lincoln strikes again oh what a mess oh what a job he did tonight Joe Biden is going to be so happy when he wakes up tomorrow and watches this we have a great post- debate show for here tonight we've assembled some of the most important voices in American politics and joining us now with their thoughts and analyses of tonight's debate please welcome our bipartisan panel California governor Gavin Nome my pillow CEO Mike Lindell and the Republican candidate for vice president Ohio Senator J D Vance wow we are so blessed to have you here tonight thank you for being here Governor Nome will start with you how well do you think vice president Harris handled her opponent's repeated attacks on her administration's record one word she totally freaking slay it home dog I mean my girl was poised articulate and laid out a bitching vision for the future of this bitching Nation she knocked it out of the skate park bro hey garon can I get a refill on this big bad zinny oh he's not a he's not a waiter Governor that's poor never mind Hulk Hulk wolf everything this guy said is wrong wolf don't listen to this dippy do good over here okay I'm not Wolf Blitzer I'm oh come on with the beard and everything come on Wolf listen this patchy beard guy little posm eyes anyway the clear winner tonight was our one true president Donald jellies told Trump he was smart he was lucid as a gan he did everything just like we preh hearsed wait Micha you see you helped Donald Trump prepare for the debate well is a labber dooodle penis beat red well listen wouldn't know bro my doodle transition and we support them and we should all remember to get our pets spayed neutered and gender reassigned Governor that aside so wait a minute Mike did you you help the former president prepare for the debate oh yes I did I helped him by dressing up as malal La Harris for the marck debates I got pretty good at impersonating her too look at me I'm Kamala harrish I'm married to Barack Obama and I find everything so [Laughter] hilarious you know KLA Harris isn't married to Barack Obama right well since when since I don't know always Barack is married to Michelle Obama oh well if KRA ain't married to Obama then who the hell is this woman over here that's not a this is not a woman this is JD Vance well she's got a lot highlighter for a fell wait a minute anyway one ever tell you you look a bit like that Vanessa hudin constantly and I'm starting to get po JD is Donald Trump's running mate please holy Hawk tour Senator Vance I really I'd love to get your take do you think uh your running mate Donald Trump scored points with his messaging on inflation tonight thanks Wolf and to my fellow normal Americans it is my honor and privilege to be here tonight and on behalf of my wife Usha who I assure you exists and the children I believe there are two welcome UHA who who is Usha Usha is my wife Usha magusa can you believe this here Governor Newton Usha I believe Usha is Hindi for unsatisfied woman wait a minute listen gentlemen the question was for Senator Vance And I asked about inflation and I will answer that question look when Daddy said tonight when he looked sanord Cisco liberal Camala Harris in the eye it took away my breath which I breathe in a completely normal way only through the mouth never the nose allow me to [Applause] demonstrate I'm I'm sorry Senator Vance I don't mean to interrupt your breathing but did you just call Donald Trump Daddy yeah and it is not weird at all I call all strong American men who inspire me Daddy the same way I call grandfathers and grandmothers pooa and mamals is that weird is it weird to say that tonight when Daddy Trump talked about those sweet little kittens being eaten by hungry hungry Haitians well it brought a tear to my smokey smokey eye I mean that is a little weird oh that's weird that's weirder with my dog Cooter and I lost the Fergus Falls kissing contest should have been a lock wolf former president Trump did have some strong words about vice president Harris's record on immigration Beetle Juice Beetlejuice Beetle Juice he here did it work no it didn't work I I don't know what you're doing well the sequels are tough that's no that's what I anyway my point is this we got to reelect Donald J Trump so he can stop the Communist drag queens from coming over the Border taking black jobs away from PTO Ricans and eating our Kandy cats proud proud agreeance Donald Trump will make sure that no one ever eats cats in America again or my name is not Jeffrey dmer Vance what whoa whoa whoa hey hey hey no one is eating cats Jeff that was a hoax oh was that a hoax it was a hoax well then where where did this come from it's actually a good question where did that come from Postmates I think this catch is delicious here give me a pocket give me a little give me a little snatch at a cloth you know I believe that every culture should be free to decide which pets they eat you know the peruvians eat hamster I'd eat a hamster I wouldn't chew it I'd just swallow it down like a snake holy hell in a woo it Trump didn't even return my calls no no more and then he picks this kooky couch for BP inste of I mean sure he's gorgeous he really is gorgeous like he' been carved out of marbles by the Sweet Lord Jesus himself he's got eyes like a Chinese Pandy bear but God I hate him I hate him whoa whoa hey Bros bros Vibe check Vibe check if you don't mind I'm going to burn a little incense to align our chakras incense can I get a that I also enjoy masculine Aromas may I sniff that with my mouth guys you get a better high if you you put a belt around your neck oh no no no tell you what use a promo cold choking belt for 10% off a genuine horse leather choking belt for around your neck that's I also have a product I would like to promote for Daddy Trump it's an nft it is Daddy Trump as Batman breastfeeding me as Robin what that's not how you suckle Donald Trump I ought to smack this tee right out of your mouth you'll never get me to unlatch you crack monkey crack monkey who who who Bros bros let's sound bathe it out there's only one way [Music] to there's only one way to settle this and that's a pillow fight okay well I would like to thank tonight distinguished panel for their expert analysis Governor Nome pillowman Mike Lindell Senator JD fans thank you gentlemen thank you for your service we will be back with Jame Fondo [Applause]