Browse Transcripts

Category: Entertainment

The only thing i wish i'd produced was a condom on the night my mother and i conceived you. i really hope you've misread that. michael whitehall. yeah. father, question mark. i have some things that i need to get off my chest and so i'm gonna say them to your face. this face, this resting b***hface.... Read more

Category: Entertainment

I have no regrets when it comes to my producing career the only thing i wish i'd produced was a condom on the night my mother and i conceived you i really hope you' misread that i mean i hope it says your mother i mean i know people have preconceptions about posh familyes and incest but i assure you... Read more

Category: Entertainment

You shouldn't be scared of a roast you should be scared of gout i don't get any of that what you do you get gout i don't with your diet i have never got gout you always do this thing you have a medical shoe you have a special shoe that you have to wear when you have gout flareups you're just lying i'm... Read more

Category: Comedy

Got the got the spray on tan the the waxed eyebrows the the pec implants hallogen teeth the bleached anus the scrotal tuck nipple enlargement taint augmentation but i got to admit i envy you you've got boatloads of money three tv shows and still even with all the work you've had done you can walk down... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

Start the nikki glazer podcast nckaz here's nikki hello here i am andrew collin & chris convy in studio/gracie abrams music/nikki at the creative emmy’s/losing to dick van dyck welcome to the show it's nikki glazer podcast we are in los angeles live after the creative arts emy weekend um here with us... Read more

Category: Comedy

Intro welcome to night three of roast battle league's decade of destruction our 10-year anniversary special are you ready for rose battle make some noise for our referee brian motherfucking moses hey [music] the decade of destruction 10 years damn right we got rose b bands in the house maybe the commissioner... Read more

Category: Entertainment

And let me make one thing perfectly clear you are a total sellout with no spine period gunfire be donald trump's next appeal to black voters but getting shot at doesn't make you popular in the black community if it did then the most famous man in the hood would be liam niss ans has everything that trump... Read more

Category: Comedy

So dann erstmal herzlich willkommen hier im haus der deutschen vetternwirtschaft zum heutigen brainstorming für das cdu landtagswahlprogramm powert bei bmw audi vw huawei pfizer eon rwe deutsche bahn progas und ich sehe gerade reheinmetall sie kämpfen wir gewinnen ja ich schaue mal in die runde der... Read more

Category: News & Politics

Tomorrow marks the 3y year anniversary of one one of the greatest debacles in american military history and that is the surrender to the taliban in afghanistan isn't this the problem with somebody who has no experience in fign policy and national security and does everything based on ideology yes she... Read more

Category: Comedy

Why is he called use the pedophile and you the pedophile i was me to take the place of somebody el you meant to take the place of a pedophile is he in prison now no you what they just called him a pedopile they call him a pedophile and he couldn't make it so you sat there fully prepared to be called... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

The nikki glazer podcast nckaz here's nikki hello here i am welcome to the show it's nikki glazer podcast coming at you um from st louis missouri i'm here in studio with my sister who is kind enough to join us last minute i was just like hello just saw you at the parents house yeah thanks for inviting... Read more

Category: Comedy

Want to say first of all as a feminist uh i can't support everything that's being said up here tonight but uh as somebody that hates anne coulter i'm delighted [applause] so david spade amazingly um has slept with some of the most beautiful actresses in hollywood proving just how ugly show business... Read more