Very Mindful Very Demure - S2 E19

welcome to one of the she bar with suia and Ed we're just two Korean asian-americans Jesus Christ we're just two asian-americans talking [ __ ] about [ __ ] who am I I don't know who are you we're just people dang it stop putting us in a box oh we don't have to label everything zo we labeled ourselves we did we don't even know our own labels so hi Ed derp how are you how was your week it was good it was good the weekend was busy this week I yeah the uh I know right what did I do on Friday Ron I don't even remember um oh yeah Friday was my aunt's birthday okay so much stuff happened I had to drive all the way like an hour out you know to go see her for that um that's nice and then Saturday was your husband's birthday party that was fun um the reason I showed up at 7 instead of six instead of five party started at 5 I was going to I was going to try to show up at least by you didn't even say hello when you got I'll get to that I'm trying to explain all that so originally I was like I was like in my head I looked it up and I was like even with traffic I was like it was saying it was going to be like a 45m minute drive so I was like in my head I was like the latest I have to leave by is 510 okay I was like so I get there at my latest time I was like I don't want to get there past 6 right so but I also had to make that one video that we're going to talk about and then while editing it I looked at the clock and I swear to God it said 4:45 so I was like already recorded and I was just EDI editing it doing the captions and stuff and then next thing I know I was like I was like I'm pretty sure I'm like 5 minutes late I was like I'm pretty sure it's like 5:15 right now so I look at my watch and it says 6:15 and I was like that's not right what do you mean that's not how time works I was like wait a second I was like no no no wait am I remembering the party wrong I'm trying to be there by 7 and I was like no it's definitely 6 I was like my calendar says 6 and then I was like what happened I was like when I looked at the clock 5 minutes ago and at 5:45 was it really 6:45 and I couldn't read the clock I was like or did an hour and 5 minutes elapse in what I thought was 5 minutes I was like either way I was like I have to put on clothes and leave right now so then I left and I got here like right around 7 I said hi to your husband first I was like happy birthday and then Ron comes up and he's like oh you better get the food he's like cuz the truck's here for only another hour right that's I was like oh my God I have to eat the Ki and then I looked over at you and you're like mingling so I was like I'm just going to go get food first CU I was like I'm sure that'll only take a couple minutes and then Ron was like oh you can only three at order three things at a time so I was like shoveled three things in my mouth and then I like was like are I'm to Quick order again I was like and then I'm going to go say hi and that's when you saw me in the drive and I was like perusing around I look I was like this [ __ ] standing here eating my food at my house at my party and hasn't even come in to say hello what a dick no it's fine it was totally fine oh the party was was great though whated um it was so much fun when you're hosting a party anybody who's ever hosted a party knows like we invited everybody in our lives right but that included pockets of different groups so we have our old friend group our School parent friend group Roy's work my husband's work friend group um his AA friends like it was just like so I as the hostess of course had to walk around to every little group of people make sure that they were oh we our gym friends were there like just so many different groups so I had to go and say hi to them and hi to them did you get enough food can I get you a drink I am still recovering I'm it was so exhausting it was so exhausting but then we had the this was the best party idea I think I've ever had is having the food trucks come because I didn't have to do anything and when I went back in my house it was totally clean cuz nobody was in the house everybody in except for the food trays that your family left on the table my parents I went in looking for a phone charger cuz my phone was tying it was at 1% for like minutes I didn't find one because you guys clean no I was like my phone is not important when you guys are hosting a party so I went in there looking for that and I was just I that's just all I noticed well it was very clean my parents were like okay well we ate we're going to go now I was like I told you they left you're like they're coming back I was like they went they walked down to my sister's house and they hung out with the kids for a little while cuz that's where they were and then they were like we're not coming back I was like I figured as much it's fine then my mom called me the next day she's like how was it I was like fine you didn't even say goodbye to me but it's fine um but yeah when they were leaving I was like just leave it it's fine I'll take care of it CU I was still contemplating it was like five little trades it wasn't even much I didn't even eat I didn't eat anything I saw you eat like a bite or two of a hot dog one bite my sister forced me to eat a hot dog and then I had one bite of a quesadilla and then I had one bite of a beet and that was like literally all I ate I know I was so sad we spent so much money on the food I didn't eat any that's what I I mean when you're hosting you just can't I could I'm pretty sure the Ki truck guy got annoyed at me cuz I stood there for like 30 minutes and I just kept ordering be annoyed be annoyed I paid for all these people to eat because I still have yet to edit it but my idea was I was like I'm going to make one of those like everything I ate at a catered party or you know what I mean like one of those videos and um I ate so much good yes I know you left your final departing words were like my stomach hurts I have to leave I was like yeah people kept asking they're like are you okay I was like no I'm fine I was like I just feel very uncomfortable you just looked so UNC stomach was so full and it just kept feeling more full as time went by and then like that lasted for like an hour and a half which is insane you would think that some would dissolve digest digest at some point and like you know move it didn't and then when I actually left and got in my car and I sat down I felt worse and then through the drive home it just kept expanding by the time I got home I was like I need to sit down but I was like nope I have to feed the dogs first because I was like I know the moment I sit down I'm going to go into like Dad bod mode and my body's going to shut down you know like old man mode and that's exactly what happened I fed the dogs I woke up at like 4 o'clock in the morning and I was like oh my God I forgot to upload the video version of the podcast so I did that and then I couldn't fall back asleep and then yeah that was fun the party was a lot of fun party was a lot of fun I think everybody had a really good time you know after everybody left it was just me and then a couple of our friends and my sister and I was just so relieved that the party was so successful and everybody had so much fun then I started to drink I was like I was like [ __ ] it it's over I was and then I woke up and I was like actually no I barfed and then I woke up my God because I hadn't eaten anything it was and the thing was is I have my friends are so amazing you guys were all so amazing everybody's having so much fun but people could see that I was like stressed out and I was just like running around like you need to chill out dude have a drink dude you need to chill out have a shot dude you need to chill out have a glass of wine you need I was like if I chill out anymore I'm going to [ __ ] pass out please but people just kept feeding me drinks as I was just like you know running around but my husband had a really lovely time and did you prepare your speech you gave a really nice speech thank you I didn't prepare really anything at all I just was like I'm going to just speak from the heart I don't want it to feel like rehearsed I I had like a couple of things that I wanted to mention um was it okay did I sound crazy I cried I did everybody cried yeah in fact one of um your husband's friends I heard him say to his wife or someone he was like my wife doesn't ever say things like that or I think he like tapped hard and was like you never give a speech about me like that I meant it you know my husband and I have been through a lot and I think I told you a lot of you that my husband has been sober he'll be four years in October um and it was it's when you're married to somebody who's sober you also really have to change a lot about how you think and feel lifestyle change yeah really is um I barely drink at all anymore but why I got so [ __ ] up cuz I just like don't drink um but yeah everything that I said was really genuine and I really meant it and it was um it was really lovely that I got to express myself you know publicly in front of all of our loved ones so it was really nice so thank you guys for being here yeah no thank you for inviting us and letting me eat all that food honestly I felt fine uhuh until I ate the Beet they were so good Chris Shout out to Chris Bautista and his beet truck it was so good crazy part though is is I was like oh I'm full but I was like this will be fine I was like Bayes are Hollow yeah I was like they're barely anything but how many did you eat I only ate two I ate one of each one of the powdered sugar and one of the cinnamon sugar but I think it put you over the edge it did as soon as I ate it I was like I regret that I was like oh my God I feel uncomfortable and then for the next hour and a half it was just I just sat there being like don't be weird don't be weird don't be weird and then I was like but I'm focused so much over was like why is he being so weird why is he being so weird so weird you were so then I like stood up to like try to help it move down and then like I was just standing and a see PE see people just sitting and I was like I'm going to move over there CU there's three people standing and one of them was your sister so I was like thank God I know her was she upright cuz she was very yeah well then she was talking to other people and I was like I need to somehow insert myself into this conversation with people I don't know oh I'm Ed I'm full but not weird yeah the whole time I got be like don't be weird don't be weird and I was like I don't know how to not be weird making you weirder yeah yeah good times and then Sunday I had to go to the premiere of that movie that I helped make and was partially oh how was that it was good I was actually not gonna lie I went with Ron and um I was like really nervous because I was like oh man my acting was so bad oh was it no it was like the first time I ever acted like on screen and it wasn't until like I was helping to edit and I got all the footage back after filming had finished oh editing yourself must have been so hard yes well that's the part is I was like oh I understand what they mean by like you have to overact a little bit for the camera because when you act natural it doesn't it doesn't read you have to like really play it up for the emotions to read and I was like oh I just look dead face a little bit Yeah but luckily with the soundtrack and all the stuff and the cutting it uh plug the movie what's it called it's called Uh Pancake Man it's like this like um is it like a spoof movie no it's a it's a like a a horror movie a thriller horror movie um about this guy who just wants pancakes and he kills people and it sounds really funny and the movie is funny I mean when you have a hankering for pancakes there really not a lot you can you better not stand it's one of those movies where it takes all Place mostly in one day okay all in one day and um it's really funny actually okay and it was um really when I first came on this and I was like oh man Dead face Ed Dead face Ed and then I said I said the couple lines that I said and people started laughing and I was like oh okay okay okay okay that wasn't that was my job that I did it cuz I was like listening for people to be like the [ __ ] is this guy well I was just like this supposed to be this like getaway driver idiot guy you know so just like being dumb and like aana Reeves kind of like yeah a little bit but like yeah so it's just like at one point you know they're like he this guy is a getaway driver he looks like he's like [ __ ] up or something and she's like or did you do drugs today I was like no and she's like people were laughing but so it was good um but I was like so nervous sitting there I was like oh my God I'm gonna have to like sneak away after the movie's done so that no one's like oh my God there's the idiot who ruined the movie you know what I mean but yeah no it was really good it was really funny good I'm glad I want to see it I want to watch it is it like streaming or is it like no so and I think it uh yeah no no it was just in that one theater and then there's like it's going to be playing at the Chinese um the man theater oh no way yeah that's cool yeah actually I might go to that cuz I'm going to be like I my face is on the CH are doing a Premiere a Premiere so it's like a it's I think it's like a film festival where it's playing I want to go why are you not telling me this well I think that's at the end of September so we can go I have something at the end of September it's like for five days though okay good so we can choose it's like from the say it's like oh maybe it's mid September it's like 13th through the 18th or something okay but there was like four or five let me we'll pencil it in I want to go I want to see it I want to watch you on the big screen be like yeah that's pretty much what it was it would never it would be great H but like because it was the premier and like everyone who was involved you know their friends and family were there so like every time one of the main characters would come up people would be like yeah and I was like Ron I swear to God if you I was like I'm trying to be as like lowkey as possible cuz again I was like so scared stand like no h sitting right here I'll die I'll literally die that's funny uh but how was the rest of your week outside of the party that you guys had a plan for for we planned it for so long um honestly that was really it just it's just the recovery my I was so exhausted my feet hurt so bad I was like so hung over and tired I was it was great though I haven't done anything else just I've just been rotting away I was like wait are you glitching right now I've been working I need to go right back to work I worked on Sunday I was like I want to die I want to die but it was fine um there was one there's one thing that's you know I don't know how to segue this um you just talk about it so so you know on Tik Tok there's this the really um popular Creator her name is Ashley she's Asian-American I don't know if she's I don't think she's Korean Ashley Lee I think is her name um she's the one who chews like this and she has really big eyes we talked about her before yeah yeah did you see what's going on with her yeah oh my God I almost sent you the video she's so she seems really sweet she's really sweet so if you don't know the story Ashley was I just it I just came up on my for you page she was sitting there and she looked so sad and I was like what is going on and she talks about her dog Nim little Nimbus a little white Pomeranian who she had left in the care of her parents and I'm guessing her parents are probably you know Boomer or at least her dad older Gen X you know parents um and she explained to him like listen it's really important that you don't leave Nimbus outside by himself there are coyotes in our neighborhood she said that she even showed him multiple videos of coyotes jumping like six foot fences like it's nothing there are coyotes in my neighborhood I hear them all in where my parents live there are coyotes everywhere in that Canyon yeah we live in LA yeah we had a dog that was also taken anyway so oh my god really so yes so this is what this this story is about so she tells this story and she's like my father carelessly left Nimbus outside you can tell she was like I don't know if their relationship is ever going to recover she even said something along the lines of she was like he just had to stand out there with him for five minutes five minutes is all he had to do and so the dog was killed by coyotes and she's like and I don't know if you know the story of nimbus and Ashley she like nursed this dog back to health like a year ago he he couldn't walk yeah he had something happened to him where he had some disease or something where his back two legs wouldn't work right and the doctors told her that it probably was never going to work again she was like [ __ ] that and she was unrelenting the therapy she took him to underwater therapy got him one of those little roller things for his little legp it was watching that Journey that I was like oh she's a good person well and not even that but like she also uses had her dog he was like her co-host he was he was in so many her videos so like not only did her father betray her like as her father and like betray her trust as a loving dog owner somebody who cared for this dog so much he also has now affected essentially affected her income as well this is somebody that she did content with like full circle her her whole life not even just like as a co-host but like we all know how isolating content creating and sometimes even afterwards just to have like Archie and Colt there you know what I mean it just like makes me feel less comforted and like it really broke my heart to watch her like I cried so hard it was devastating and as a when I was a child we had a dog that was killed by coyotes and when that is happening it is very silent it is very loud it is not something that does that goes unnoticed so I ask myself the question like where the [ __ ] was her family did they leave the dog out there and like leave the house because if you hear coyotes they it it is the howling the growling the the sound of the fight is really very alarming and you can't not hear it even if your TV is on full blast you can hear it we hear them howling in the canyons from miles around it echoes through and like did they just leave the dog and like go somewhere like that's so [ __ ] up to me and like the thought like when we discovered the dog our dog had been killed by Coyotes what kind of dog was it was it small a little black like mix bigger than bigger than Archie not as big as you know my dogs medium size and he like a Frenchy size he must have been yeah maybe slightly bigger but it must have been an attack by multiples because there there were there was evidence in our backyard that our dog had been ma mauled and dismembered and it was really violent and it was so traumatizing as a child and like not to say that my parents didn't care they cared very much but they were like it's just it was what happens you know it's just I'm like no that's not what happen Happ neglect is what happened and I think that was her whole point is that like older generations of parents don't understand the connection people have with their pets or like have never really experienced it that way like her and my gener like Millennials and you know what I mean like we aren't we're like statistically known to not marry and treat our dogs and cats like your children like your children point this guy and you know I just I don't know I I can't stopped thinking about her I've been thinking about her for days I actually DMD her about it I don't seen it but I was just like hey I'm really sorry just know that like it wasn't your fault no and like she must feel so guilty she does feel guilty you know I shouldn't have left him with my parents knowing that they didn't care as much as I needed them to I could have you know like taking them to anybody else and just like I feel so bad for her like I mean especially because you know how much she cared like the amount of effort she put in to help rehabilitate Nimbus shows you everything it's everything you know what I mean and for her to go through that get a miracle to happen for nimus where he got like he not only he went from she created the miracle she made the miracle happen it was she was the miracle the care the love the effort you know she was his little hero to go through all of yeah I mean there's so much there's like photos of them like dressed up as Harry Potter together like Pizza Hut sent sent them like when Pizza Hut sent her a care package like it had a set for Nimbus like there was like a pajamas and they included one for Nimbus and after watching the second video of all the memories I just kept thinking I was like oh man I feel so bad because I know what it is to lose a dog and then to have all their stuff now like she has those pajamas the bed the toys the food in the fridge the videos right and it's just like for so long it's just like around you and like Ron said this Ron says the same thing he's always like Ed be careful of coyotes and I've always been like not not mindful of it but there has been a little part of me where I was like we have like fences that are taller than me and I'm like it'll be fine and we like live on a hill and like our neighbors you know there's like height differences but after watching that video I was like no chances oh I've been a reckless idiot I mean I haven't I've literally only let Archie outside one time he like peed all over the peed or [ __ ] all over the house and like I had to take him out so he doesn't continue to pee and poop but then I was like oh my God I have to start cleaning this up and that one time it like I think 25 minutes had passed before I was like done cleaning and then I was like oh [ __ ] oh my God Archie still outside and I went outside I couldn't find him and I was like oh my God someone took him someone took him and then I think he he kept like going to the other side the front of the house or the back of the house depending on which way I was going and we just kept missing each other cuz then I finally found him and I was like oh my God but since yeah other than that I'm always outside with him it was just that one time but yeah yeah especially after watching what happened to Ashley I was like not to turn a tragedy for someone else into a Learning lesson but I was just like I have to make sure well I mean that's probably why she shared it too you know oh god um yeah like there have been times where I have walked out of my parents house from the time I was a child to very recently and there're just coyotes just standing there just like what's up I'm like Hello uh oh God I don't know what to do actually took Colt for a walk around the park last week and it was like yeah my husband saw one last week too yeah just after the sun had set and like it was nighttime and he luckily didn't take Archie with him because he said he Colt started being like suspicious at one point during the walk and then Ron was like what are you doing and then like a couple minutes later he realized that behind them a coyote had been stalking them right if he had taken Archie the coyote might have been a little bit more emboldened because he was like oh that one's dinner for sure for sure and that's the thing too is like I look at my dogs and I'm like my dogs would be okay maybe against one coyote but coyotes are pack animals there's like six of them often times a lot of attacks are from one coyote but yeah most mostly they got backup you know they're around like whenever I would hear the coyotes like the the sound is so like imprinted on me the sound of howling coyotes it was like it sounded like a hundred of them it does we live in a canyon so like the sounds would like Echo off of the the mountains but like it was like there it sounded like there was hundreds scores and scores of of coyotes the scariest interaction I ever had with a coyote was we were camping in Joshua Tree one time like years ago and uh I had Stella and Dexter was still alive and we went with them we're all sleeping in a tent and it was like thundering out at night time and it was like already the weather was like kind of scary for like camping out in the MDT already sounds like a [ __ ] hor you're already just like out in the middle of a plane and there's like no dips and valleys and the tallest thing is your tent that has metal poles you know so you're already like a little nervous and then all of a sudden these pack of coyotes you could hear them howling and they kept getting closer and closer and I swear to God at one point they were within like 200 feet of our tent and the whole time I kept being like Oh my God they're going to try to eat us all alive Jesus Christ yeah and then luckily you know did your dogs not bark I don't even remember at this point maybe they were a little bit at first but then I think even they got scared and I think I was trying to get like yeah I was like being like shut up shut up you know I was like stop telling them that there like here yeah food being us yeah us so I was like so luckily you know we were fine but yeah that was harrowing to me yeah I bet I was trying to say horrifying and harrowing at the same time bra yeah so but yeah I I doubt she's going to see this but if you do I am so sorry so sorry that's so sorry I can't even imagine and like losing a pet losing your loved one is already so hard but in like such a traumatizing way traumatic like way yeah and like didn't deserve that do you try to mend the relationship between you and your father after that happens like I would need so much time I would I know I really would too like I don't know how I would I think realistically I would need so much time until the guilt that my parent also doesn't have that much time sets in you know so I think that's realistically what would happen I guess also it has a lot to do with how her father has reacted to the to the situation she could tell that she was really upset at her dad but she was trying not to like direct her anger at how do you not be angry which also says a lot about Ashley there too you know but I just feel so bad sweetheart yeah neither her nor Nimbus deserved any of this so sorry Ashley yeah okay too sad oh man okay so the cans so my sister what very non Secor I'm so sorry this thought just popped in my head because my sister called me she goes hey I want you to be sure always wash your cans I was like I mean I do always like before I open it she's like okay good I had like drinking cans drinking cans cans that you open like you know garbanzo beans and things like that um I always wash them with you know soap and hot water and then I open it I was like why what happened she goes you're never going to believe this so she said my sister lives in uh Missouri and she says she's at the market and there's this guy she's like normal looking dude on the shorter side maybe in his 40s I'm so scared of where this is going she te Still In My Eyes by the way he's trying to reach up and grab something from a top shelf oh my God if a rat [ __ ] Dr no no no oh my god there another story okay so then she says that he takes cans off of the Shelf Stacks four cans on top of each other stands on the tallest top can and then reaches up to get whatever she's like he had just walked in from a dirty parking lot put his dirty shoe on top of the can reach up and then just put the cans back and she was mortified this is the reason why Asian people grab things from the back I always do I know it's like a thing that people are always like Asian people are always like you know paranoid yeah no no but like store workers hate it because we're like grabbing stuff from the second shelf you know and like things topple that's this is why like who knows he could have walked through a dirty puddle filled with gasoline and dog and doooo I don't know where that dude has been and then he's just going to stand on top on top of a can with his doooo shoe on top of the can and then you go home open it and then you know the lid always falls into the juice and then the juice is in with the other no dang it I usually wipe it with always wash your cans this has been a public service announcement I usually wipe it with a wet paper towel but guess soap in Hot Water Guys it's not enough it's not enough and then my other sister sent me this video of this person on Tik Tok eating a salad do you want to see it no she's eating the salad and she had eaten a good amount of it there was a dead rat dead wet dead mouse a full Mouse in the salad that she had just been eating I was just like oh God I'm never going to eat anything I'm never going to go any anything Al that happened lawsuit those people always make so much money I just couldn't even I would scream so the lawsuit would have to be for the loss of my vocal cords because I'd be screaming so loud that I would erupt every ability to scream it would be gone it looked like Ron looked up for a second I like I swear to speaking of mice I think we've eradicated the problem no there's no I think we've eradicated the issue so yeah food safety guys got to be safe oh God and the Cucumber recall after like there's a lot going on in the world what happened with cucumbers there is salmonella and some cucumbers and this is all that's great because people have been at the height of the [ __ ] cucumber Trend because of Logan Logan that's what it is I love that guy I think he's he's doing it right I think he's doing it right but yes there's been a cucumber recall people are buying cucumbers like like there's no tomorrow like the Cucumber industry is probably like yes like Rec anything but sell vanilla now like it's been crazy so thank you for staying for current events with Susie but speaking of current events this one's uh pretty upsetting so yeah it's this uh 19-year-old kid named chuni Han from Korea Town and what allegedly happened is that on July 18th which was a Thursday roughly around like 4:30 in the afternoon he was on his way to his part-time job at a cafe right around the corner okay and he was walking to work with headphones on and you know walking down the sidewalk and he passed by this person who was on a scooter okay and you know as you oftentimes do walking past someone you make eye contact for a second but then you don't and then you move past the the person was on a scooter not him yeah juny was walking the person was on a scooter they passed and I guess seconds later juny didn't hear as this guy supposedly um ran up behind him and pushed him so hard that juny apparently fell down and slammed his head on the concrete of the sidewalk God and then that's not all that happens the guy then apparently gets on top and like continues to assault juny by punching him I'm assuming in the face for what there apparently according to juny there was no altercation like they just made contact for a second so I don't know if this person was suffering from like a mental health crisis or whatever or just yeah angry or I don't know either way chuni decides that he's not going to fight back like he chose not to fight back because he he stated that he didn't want to escalate the situation because he was afraid that the person might have a weapon okay so he was just like I'm getting hit this sucks but it's better than getting stabbed shot whatever so I guess I don't know how it ends it he gets up and he's able to walk away so I think he thinks he's okay he goes to work he tells his boss everything that happened um fast forward four and a half days later and he's like hanging out with his friends um around 1:55 in the morning when all of a sudden they're like walking down the street like not that far actually like half a mile from where he was allegedly assaulted he loses Vision in his one ey eye turns completely pale throws up and then passes out he like loses Consciousness he just Falls over and one of his friends that he's with is like in nursing school so he tries to give him like CPR nothing happens so they call 911 he gets rushed to the uh local hospital and immediately ventilated I guess he wasn't breathing on his own next morning he seems to be doing better but then hours later roughly around 2 o'clock in the afternoon that day he his vitals start like crashing oh no oh no and I think uh by the next day I believe it was um the doctors declare him brain dead and then they start telling the parents like hey um we should take him off of life support so that he can he can go in peace but his mom specifically had a hard time letting go for 5 days cuz he was the oldest son that's fair they had three sons you know and he was the oldest yeah just any child at all you know no parents should have to bury their child and like just come to the decision like I can't even imagine so jun's father finally convinces jun's mother like hey look we should let him go juny had the wishes of wanting his organs donated so we should do that and honor honor his wishes he sounds like a good kid he sounded like I mean between the not fighting back and the organ donation he sounds like he was a really good kid so then they take him off of life support his organs go to save multiple other people's lives um and yeah so now the police are looking for eyewitnesses because they aren't finding you know there's no other evidence cuz it was like in a random part of the sidewalk where I don't think there were cameras or anything because I go to that area once a week and I don't I don't ever see cameras that I'm aware of um so you know I made a video asking people to look for footage you know unfortunately because it's the only identifier we have it was a black man on a scooter so I was asking people like hey if you live in this area you have a business in this area or maybe you were even driving past with a dash cam look for a black man on a scooter and that's the only reason you know we're you know talking about that but so that we can at least start to find some potential suspects and start ruling people out or whatever it is um but yeah poor kid lost his life for nothing for nothing for literally [ __ ] nothing yeah and and it is a thing to say like you know even if you think you're okay you should definitely go get checked out especially if it's like your head like you know having internal bleeding in your head like part that really bothers me is is that like Korean media reported on it first days later like three days later American Media started a report on it all the American Media was like the LAPD is not sure you know of the legitimacy of what happened or whatever you know or his cause excuse me cause of death is what they're saying while the Korean media who published days before they even knew of chun's name published and got confirmation from the LAPD that they are treating it as a homicide even though they don't have the full evidence yet and the cor and then the newspapers even corroborated that claim with the coroner's office who verified that they did the autopsy as part of the homicide investigation for juny so I was just like what the [ __ ] like this Corners right this Corners report existed days before you guys even published this so I like I don't understand what is happening here I think we know what was happening here yeah for sure but yeah so if you guys are living in LA in the Kore town area if you guys were in that area on July 18th I want to say roughly between the time of like 4:15 to about 5:00 p.m. if you see anyone and we're talking about like at least a three block radius what what what block it was around 7th and Serrano do you know where that driving range is the one that everyone drive past knows the big one it was like right around there somewhere so within a three to four block radius of that area if you drove work live have cameras please check your footage for July 18th what day of the week was July 18th it was a Thursday so look for you know a man on a scooter um you know if you have any of that information please I would be shocked if there wasn't surveillance camera on surveillance cameras on every block every thing like people need to look through it and and at this point it's like starting to get a little iffy because it's just past a month you know so it's like 30 days usually right around the time when like yeah the cloud starts like wiping stuff out or whatever so please please check G that's so sad yeah thanks for bringing me down it sorry no but yeah it's very important so if you guys can help get Justice for junian you know that'd be greatly appreciated because he sounds like a really great kid whose life was robbed short and he was the oldest brother of two brothers who clearly looked up to as you know oldest brother and you know really great kids so yeah young that sucks I was trying to remember the brothers call older brothers I don't there's no boys in my family so yeah man how do we Segway I don't think we segue into rap videos after that we need we need a buffer um just thinking that there's also only like 15 minutes or so so do you have an [ __ ] Ron do you have an [ __ ] we can talk about I know we didn't read them all last week yeah we're never going to let a coyote take you okay never going to get oh my God after I watched that video I kept like holding Archie and me like oh my God I love you I'm so sorry I left you out that one day this this episode has had a lot of ups and downs hasn't it this episode has felt like an emotional roller coaster to me welcome to my brain yeah right same I was the one who was like speaking of cans did you know there was a mouse in there I was like where Mor what is happening to my brain today Welcome to My Life ADHD so why don't we end on uh up I guess why don't we end on one of our favorite things which is judging other people you know what's really funny is the last episode um someone a very um involved follower she goes by black Asian but she spells a black like qu at the end and she's following me for a long time I'm pretty sure she's following you for a long time too and she listens to the podcast and she regularly interacts but last week she was like she was like hey Ed uh you came in ready to throw hands or something she's like you have to look at things from a very objective point of view when you read these and remember we paused the episode to because when we were like not seeing I did I and I was like I have to be honest I was like I'm seeing someone specific in this story and you were like oh okay I see that too and then so I I commented back to her I was like wow you're very observant we literally paused it we had to take a whole chunk of the podcast out because I was like sir there's a lot of projection happening right now and I was like I paused it actually I was the one who was like actually I was like I'm going to be honest I was like I can't stop seeing someone that know in this example and I was like I'm having a hard time separating the two cuz I was like why are you so angry about this like why is your opinion so skew on this it's so weird and then you told me you're reasoning I was like I see that I get it however you got to take that out I know I know so she was right I had to be objective but but I also came to that realization I was like oh I should stop shout out to black Asian because that is very observant very observant very intuitive right on because some may even say Mindful and very demure so demure so mindful oh my God okay so real quick I didn't know # ADHD Jules the person who has coined this I didn't know who this person was until this demure thing happened I found out that they followed me so I followed them back and now I'm mutuals with Jules I was like I feel so cool even though I had nothing to do with this I was like Yay yeah I had no idea I didn't know who they were I just woke up one day and I just was like why is everyone talking about being Mindful cutesy and demure I love this meteoric rise for her it is it has been amazing to watch because like then you watch your video and you're like oh everything makes sense in the context of your life is and she just is so fantastic and so hilarious I'm so sorry I'm so sad that I'd never known who she was until now but I'm so glad I do because this has been so and honest did you see there was this one girl who made this video disparaging her and she's like that jewes person is ugly as [ __ ] being so transphobe probably I don't think I don't know if she was being transphobic but just really mean and usually when things like that happen and somebody is like gaining and garnering all of this success people will glom onto the hate train like yeah [ __ ] no people are like shut the [ __ ] up leave her alone she is doing what she's doing you are a [ __ ] hater it's been so great to just see how positive people have been in supporting this this this trans woman you know do this really incredible thing I think people realized that like that whole conversation was about her perspective especially as trans woman so for this to go so viral it like really helps valid that whole side you know what I mean like how mindful they have to be about presentation how mindful about being demure she's so smart too she has instantaneously capitalized on all of this like as she should she's been doing videos with Patrick TOS she's been on The Tonight Show she's been in La going to parties and stuff and I'm like that happens so fast get all of it but keep the momentum going come up with the makeup brand immediately hair care products immediately everything that you do to be demure your demure self Mark it capitalize go do it all trademark that CU that is lightning in a [ __ ] bottle right now and I'm so happy for her I'm so happy for her keep keep going Jules we're all rooting for you absolutely for sure but not on that note on a that note different note totally a separate note am I the [ __ ] for how I punish my stepdaughter for flushing her sister spices down the toilet oh okay wait oh so okay no that no well we don't know I don't I have a feeling it's going to be she flushed the stepdaughter's spices down the toilet which means that somehow well I don't okay I you know what I'm not going to make any assertions yet let's let's just go I I see I knew it I knew it I knew it there were two daughters involved I don't know why but I had a hard time figuring out male 42 I was like m42 I was like what does m42 me I male 42 married my current wife when my daughter 16 was four and my stepdaughter 14 was two they grew up as if they were blood siblings with occasional disagreements and jealousy issues mostly from my stepdaughter two days ago was my stepdaughter was two days ago was my daughter's dogs third deaths anniversary okay that's one of those like you have to yes really piece of together yeah usually at that time she'd rather be alone to write poems or look at pictures of her beloved dog this year this story is just a little too a little on the nose on the nose with this year she asked me to go with her to visit his grave which is located in her grandparents Farm my wife appreciates my daughter's need to have alone time but my stepdaughter wanted to come with us though she wasn't close to the dog my daughter refused to let her come and only wanted me to go my stepdaughter threw a fit and insisted on coming I sat her down to explain her sister's need for space that day she stopped after that we left and 15 minutes later my wife texted me that my stepdaughter had a breakdown and didn't stop crying then flushed all of her sister's spices that were in a separate containers that were in separate containers down the toilet they were a gift from my daughter's Asian friend's mom since my daughter is really into Asian food and Cooks meals every week I was stunned I called my wife but got no response my daughter asked what's wrong but I just dropped her off at her grandparents Farm then went back home my stepdaughter refused to come out of her room yelling that my daughter deserved it for excluding her like that I was pissed I told her I'd punish her for the wasting spices that were important to her sister that she shouldn't have even touched by taking from her savings to pay for the damages but my wife thought I'd only take away privileges not money my daughter Sav my stepdaughter saved she said she's still a kid and she won't let me touch her savings but will pay pay herself but if my wife pays then my stepdaughter will think her behavior is okay she also said my daughter is to blame too for not letting her step sister oh no oh no come with her she acted as if she was never she acted as if she never goes to the farm oh she acted as if she never goes to the farm though I take them there twice a month I argue that this was in my opinion the right punishment to get resolved but my wife said I was only making my stepdaughter resent me because she wants money for a new bicycle tough [ __ ] that's called consequences tough [ __ ] [ __ ] your bicycle will have to wait I guess cuz of your actions that's how the Life Works we kept disagreeing on this and all I was thinking of was my daughter's reaction when I told her she was devastated but I assured her I was taking steps to help her replace all the spices she lost my wife called me cruel am I the [ __ ] no no absolutely not my gut was right on this yeah I did not know what the situation was I could I knew that there was two I knew there was going to be daughters involved um no you're not the [ __ ] like you're what's the lesson you're going to teach your stepdaughter like it's okay for you to retaliate and damage people's property because you didn't get your way about something that wasn't even [ __ ] about you like no and that's like the most appropriate punishment is for her to then take her savings to replace CU that's real life no phone no privileges absolutely taking money out of your account sorry like if this was handled in the court that's called restitution of course yes because that's how you compensation there should be something on top of it emotional damage you know what I'm saying like it's not fair that your daughter has to suffer and also this was a gift so there was some sentimentality I'm sure attached to this gift that your daughter's friend's mother gave to her so no I don't think you're the [ __ ] at all I think I think I think your wife is the [ __ ] ass yeah I think the my daughter your daughter thing is what the wife did and I think that is an [ __ ] Behavior because when you get married so long right and then you adopt a child they should both be on an equal plane absolutely you would treat you have to treat them equally and the punishments should fit the crime 100% And I don't see you being the [ __ ] at all in fact I think that's kind of letting her off easy taking money out of taking money out of her savings no I think she should work for the money save it and then give it to her herself that's what I think because it took work for the mom to put the spices together it takes work for your daughter to to put those meals together that she loves making so much like no I I'm all for corporal punishment in labor yeah I would force the daughter make her go to a spice farm and herself without a mask mortar and pestl every but at the very least I would force her to go buy the spices and I would even make her be like you even have to make her a meal as the like this is a restitution for destroying it making her a meal is your apology apology like that's so [ __ ] up that the mom's like no don't do that don't what do you mean what do you mean you're going to just let your daughter not get her way and then and then what do you think that's going to do that she's going to learn her lesson or she's just learned that like oh I can do this and my mom's just always going to like blindly on my back also respect the food you don't just throw food away like that you don't you know spices like you don't just throw things like that away that's so we especially like you said before a gift that's like so ridiculous dude the mom and the daughter they're [ __ ] 14 14 my daughter is 12 and if she did that [ __ ] I would be furious like what what temper tantrum [ __ ] is this right it's too young to maybe work but it's too old to be having temper tantrums without consequences temper tantrum flushing things down the toilet like what you're 14 years old that's embarrassing the part that really bothers me is how the mom said that the daughter was the [ __ ] partially for not wanting for like needing a lone time to grieve like what do you stop invalidating people right right that's so ridiculous everyone everyone why does your daughter want to go she's going to go mourn her dead dog at a grave like leave her alone let her have some [ __ ] space dude like don't stop making everything about you and now it's about you and the spices like what are you teaching them that's te girl so wild but it's like the mom's acting like a teenage girl you know what I mean I know you're not Regina George okay so no short short answer you're not the [ __ ] yeah everyone else is except your your daughter do you want to try do pepper now okay can I have one so we have um something to taste test my daughter was is obsessed with these we don't let her she doesn't drink soda I don't drink soda either we never have soda in the house we have like Sparkling Waters but never sod and she's like can I just try one and she tried one at her friend's house Archie loves the can and then she made me wipe the can told you oh no wipe it with your shirt at least um this was out of the box so it didn't have time to be outside yeah but even boxes sometimes might little mice get inside them I've worked in distribution of beverages so I'm I'm aware so she's been obsessed with these so I think it tastes like lip gloss and I don't know if you know what like kid flavored lip gloss no all I know is that so this is strawberries and cream all I know is that I used to love the cream Savers oh yeah oh then you might like this do you like Dr Pepper on its own I do like I don't like soda but I do love Dr Pepper it's a little too sweet for me but it is pretty delicious so sweet whoa It's like weird whoa it's really weird the strawberries and cream flavor goes like in and out in between fluxes of Dr Pepper flavor Nuance I like it all blanketed with sugar yes of course obviously yeah I want you guys to drink them so my kids [Laughter] don't like and I think that's the thing is like I let them have a hit and now they're like I want more like oh no yeah well Ron just told us snitched on your younger daughter I know she came in she snatched one out of the fridge I didn't even notice neither of us noticed only Ron noticed cuz he was sitting two feet away from where it's stored I don't hate it I'm not obsessed with it it's kind of interesting we should do another eating video I thought that yesterday actually for somebody who doesn't like the soda you are pounding it that was thirsty yeah that's probably 100 [ __ ] degrees in here fascinating that was a very uh tumultuous episode no no it was a very like mishmash Cornucopia hash ADHD if anyone knows of an Asian psychiatrist who maybe wants to come on the show and diagnosis I feel like I should I feel like I need to get a diagnosis honestly there's this guy who's like you know you're a woman with late diagnosed ADHD if and he'll name all these things and I'm like is he a white guy named Connor I don't know maybe the wolf is he younger I don't know I can't tell there's a couple of people that I follow specifically because they make ADHD content and every time I'm like oh that's me can I get some sort of treatment plan well yeah because like he said you know all these things that they say and I'm like I do that I do that like if like I have something small that I have to do later in the day I can't do anything until that small thing is done and then I can't do anything else cuz it's like if I have to do the podcast and work and errands I'm like I get so overwhelmed and I'm like I can't do anything so um what we be talking about see see ADHD if anyone knows of anyone who would like to be on the podcast and could help us maybe understand you don't have to diagnosis cuz I understand that's not how it works but at least come and talk to us about ADHD I feel like that would be very helpful for our community because the one thing I did learn from these creators of ADHD is that it's not it's a neurod divergency that oftentimes comes after trauma yeah so you had to learn to separate like decom like compartmentalize and thereby our attention became deviated a specific way because we had to learn to deal with trauma I see is what I hear often time it's not the only source it could be hereditary okay well we'll definitely touch on that on another episode which I feel like could be very helpful for a community because trauma is a prevailing Factor I've heard of it with Asian people familiar um but on that note thank you for joining us um you can follow us on our socials you can find me at su1 on Tik Tok and Instagram I'm at ET sketch with the J this little burgers at Archie and Colt on Instagram um you can follow follow us at one in the she that's Shi B on Tik Tok Instagram and YouTube otherwise if you're listening to the podcast know that there is a video video version available on YouTube um and if you are watching us on YouTube make sure you like subscribe and ring that notification Bell ding otherwise um if you would like to help us keep us help us keep this podcast sustainable please join our patreon where we do oftentimes put some exclusive content there as well otherwise thank you for joining us uh oh also if you would like to write in with any questions stories advice please write us at what in the shear that's Shi B gmail.com I love the writings yeah we do love the wtin we love interacting getting to know you all and feeling like we know [ __ ] about nothing yeah well you know I think just connecting with people in that way and this is like a they can really kind of give us their full thoughts I think it's always so nice to to see but on that but okay okay but thank you for joining us on another episode we'll see you on the next one okay bye say bye Archie