Kumail Nanjiani's Decorative Muscles | Whiskey Ginger

what up whiskey Ginger fans welcome back to the show it's your first time joining the show welcome to the show we got a good one for you today Like a Man Steve Harvey done say it's Kumil n Giani what a name you could yell from the rafters e he's on tour I'm on tour Andrew san.com is where you going to get those tickets ladies and gents folks of all kinds come see me I'm all over the place I'm in Indiana I'm in Ohio I'm in Michigan I'm in Illinois I'm in California I'm in uh uh where everywhere I'm all over the place I'm doing 26 cities and we're adding shows and adding uh cities as we go go to Andrew Santino docomo [Music] docomo beard sturdy and ginger like vampir the ginger Jean is a c gingers are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse oh hell no this whiskey is excellent Ginger I like gingers ladies and gentlemen welcome back to Whiskey junr my guest today is one of my favorite people on Earth they say that for all my guest but I mean it once again today it is Kum Nani man you could have been an MMA fighter with that name yeah but not with anything else that's about me uh well body no not really these are useless you think those muscles are are all for show they're decorative they're like beach muscles those are Beach muscles do anything yeah it's kind of like uh it's kind of like some of the chachkies my wife buys for some of the tables in our hallway like little shells and stuff what is that for what is all that stuff it's pointless you have all this crap right in your house that's what this is that's what that is we do have a bunch of crap in our house we have like weird round uh discs Made of Stone and paintings on them we have those what is that for well our our interior decorator showed them to us and we were like how much are they and she said and they were so expensive we like no and she is like they're actually from a very important artist oh my God and that stinks you you're like I guess okay if it's an important artist yeah yeah what she would do this thing you know where she'd be like which of these pillows do you like and You' be like I guess I like that one and then she's like okay so these are 200 and this is 5,000 it's like well tell us that I don't I don't like it that much more lead with that part yeah also those are pillows you probably will never use no they just sit there on the thing yeah that was a big point of contention when we when we moved and Mone helped me move and we had a new couch and we a whole new couch cuz the other couch of the house didn't fit in this house so we move we get the couch and then she's like I want these pillows uh to this is what she tells my wife I want these pillows to be accent pillows depending on what kind of flower arrangements you have in the kitchen that day and I was like so change the accent pillows that's not even that would never exist in my house do you have different flower r no she's she goes she goes every week go to Trader Joe's they have a great collection of flowers which they do by the way for for the record Trader Joe's do have great when you walk in you see the flowers right when you walk in big flower guy you know me K you know me for too long I'm a flower guy no but it's just like it's such a beautiful and it is you do smell nice oh thank you but I wish I could get into it my wife same way she's like I don't have the time a day to do that no but the woman's like just grab something when you go to Trader Joe's when you're grabbing something groceries I it does make sense it does it's nice to have flowers it is nice well you know what we do now we go she gets eucalyptus um and we put it in the shower you know who got me into this Germaine Fowler really Jermaine Fowler says he'll he'll go to get when we're in Australia eucalyptus he get eucalyptus and he puts it in like a just like a vase or a bowl and you put it where like the water will like Spritz it maybe off your back smells so good I'm a big smells guy when I go to a farmer market I'm picking up whatever weird soaps that that lady has made that soap lady I cannot imagine it's actually doing any cleaning but it smells good there's like chunks in there there's like little like Fel seeds it's it should not it's clogging up my shower drain the problem is have you tried a shower bomb you know what that is just I know I know a bath bomb yeah so a shower bomb is like it's like a ball of some sort of soap thing and you're supposed to chemicals you put it but they're not strong enough because you put them on the floor the water's supposed to like fill up the whole thing technology just ain't there yet we can't do it it just melts slowly and you got to like with your foot shove it down the drain you have to push it I get really excited about it and it just shower bombs don't work but I like a you know I if I go to a mall I love going to malls I go into a Yankee Candle store I'll spend 20 30 minutes in there just smelling whatever you're a y boy well there I didn't see you as a Yankee Doodle Dandy they they're they're Apple candle the apple one does smell good smells like an apple that's why they put it by the front that's always a big seller they really figured out the Apple yeah everything else they're like I don't know this one's called like cotton mornings I don't know what that is it is it's like that sweet linen or or Fresh Linen cotton mornings there's always like a a Cape Cod beach house yeah exactly ex very smart they're actually very smart they know what they're doing I wish I could get into flow I wish I could just grab flowers when I go to Traer Joe's when I go to pick up something from my wife to have new ones at the house I don't feel like it cuz it's a thing it it's also they die so fast they're hard to transport they're not like you can't just like shove them in a thing you know they they they require their own you can't put it in a I have to drive and hold the bouquet cuz I don't want it I don't want it to smash in why just hold it out the window buddy yeah that's right yeah that's right really easy well that's what my dog I hold my dog out you guys have do you have dogs we have one cat okay same thing yeah yeah same thing just different just different yeah same but different same but totally different how long have you had your dog she's going to be seven which which is so funny because yet just the other day in the neighborhood a a similar Siz dog mediumsized dog you know is very like very um very like slowly walking up to my dog and my dog is a lunatic he knows she's like chaotically fun she she loves people she could be stolen so easily she could go with anybody if somebody was like come here she gone gone and she goes up to this dog and she loves people she loves dog she obsessed with other dogs she can't she's like got this smile all the time when she sees other dogs and the woman goes um how old is your dog is she a little puppy and I goes she's seven she's almost seven and she was like oh my God yeah that's not a good reaction yeah well and I was like wow you just she's just excited but she is her energy is that of a puppy but people are shocked when she's because she is a little too she's fun she's part she's a party dog she's a party dog yeah she likes it she doesn't hide she likes to be out in public hard on her sleeve she likes to show off your cat hides my cat my cat doesn't really hide no is out no my cat's out in the all my friends with cats they hide all they're just they're hidden when I go over their house no my cat's out and about it's a she's a pretty social cat do we have her name yeah bagel oh what a what a name I don't want human names for Animals give me things I can eat or items I like you know interesting the eat part I don't get but yeah I understand the eat part just say stuff I like yeah yeah food you're not croissant like a cat croissant the cat is nice yeah fagua the Cat come faga name a duck fagua that's so mean is that how you say it faga fagua fagua well I think it's Fraga fragua I struggle with it have you had it it's it's repulsive I I struggle with froga we had it in France one time and I was like this is disgusting I don't remember and then when you learn how they make it you're like it's just to justify awful I mean listen I'm a mediator I understand I think being vegetarian is morally more defensible I find ways to justify to myself but that would the do do those [ __ ] dck it's insane I don't know why I'm laughing it's insane it's it's like it's not even it's so gross it's funny where you're like I can't believe this is real it looks like um what was the movie uh what was the Mike Judge movie uh about the future idiocracy yeah idiocracy it looks like an idiocracy where you're like they don't force feed the animals like do they really stick it's disgusting then it goes to like the fanciest restaurants it's so awful no I I I had it once and then I was like I don't even like the I I did not like the flavor I don't like the idea of it I don't like the texture of it you know I'm a big texture guy like what food can you not have because of the texture alone well definitely that I also struggle with the texture of mushrooms I think that that texture the The Guppy gloopy whatever soft but you know whatever that isy I don't got room in my life for that it's like spongy you're right though it is it's a thing you had to get used to I used to hate them but then I learned to love the flavor of them I like the flavor of them so if they're in like a soup or something the flavor they impart into the the liquid is good same with olives I can't [ __ ] with olives weird texture what about tomato took me a while to bring tomato took me a long time I still I still throw make a sandwich real wet you know yeah sappy I don't want sappy meat I just don't like tomatoes because they look delicious and they taste land yeah there's not much there there's not much there I mean and also you know you go to like Italian food everything's too much tomato like vary it up guys yeah slow down in the Tomato like when when the Italians discovered pasta they were like this is going to be all of our food that's it it's just different shapes of the same thing uhhuh even Pizza is pasta P they're like we'll just make we'll just make that also that it's all the same I am going to say something and I have no idea if it's true oh boy here we go isn't it one of those things that pizza was invented somewhere else and then Italy took it I don't know it sounds right he'll look it up but it does sound this sounds like something I've also heard that later we go oh that was a fun rumor that yeah that we were we just believed for long enough could you also look up if they got pasta from like CH the Chinese people cuz I think CH well China noodles for sure was first there's Chinese civilization outdates right so if they got spaghetti so they someone went over brought it back and was like now all of our food is going to be this um yeah so modern pizza was invented in Naples Italy in the 18th or 19th century but pizza's history can go back even further to Egyptians Romans and Greeks Egyptians have been making Ro have been making pizza you ever had yourself a good Egyptian Pizza huh very good you never had an Egyptian Pizza no what is that pea what is that they pile the cheese and little pyramids up on the pizza it's delicious you never had pyramids there don't they little Egyptian Pizza no nothing could be where it's from ever nothing is where it's from you know what I have an idea for a show I want to do I want to do a travel food show because if you look at like you know where I'm from Pakistan if you look at like if you go to like if you go east you know you go to China there's Chinese food but Thai food is sort of like mixed between Indian food and Chinese food and then you start going west you go into Africa like East Africa is a lot like Indian food like sambusa is like Samosa which is what we have and it's all CU of the uh spice trade and so I want to like travel that part of the world and Trace the spice trade trace the spice trace the spice yeah which is a new show on Cops trace the spice trace the spice and uh and just sort of see how like you know the food moved around it's very smart I'll tell you where it definitely didn't go is Scotland I just got back from there did you have haggus yeah I had haggus they have no idea about Flavor up there it's it's remarkable it's like I do think fries with vinegar is a pretty good idea sure but I think that's the Brits okay I attribute that more to the Brits all right the Scots it's it's remarkable How England okay England is right there right yes and because of their history not a so good but they have a lot of good Indian food and variant of Indian flavors yes how did it not get North they just no it just didn't go up yeah because you go up there and you're like hey do you guys have any good Asian type spots or Indian spots or any no really and you're like nothing nothing it's fish and chips or fish and chips yeah it's fish and chips they love fish and chips I know but give me some there's no way the locals aren't like cuz the young kids you see young kids there and when I travel what always blows my mind is you see the youth and they look like the Youth of America they culturally they have the same kind of like attitude and wear they're clothing and you're like don't they aren't they on the internet enough to be like hey we want we want some of the other [ __ ] now we want some of the other food that you yeah we've discovered the whole world as a global economy can we get some of the other cool [ __ ] that you guys have where in Scotland where are you all over the place but Northeast you know I I played St Andrew's golf course and then I went all over the place like for vacation yeah with some buddies yeah we just did like a little boys little boys trip little boys get away for golf for golf you're a big golfer big big big big yeah we have to have hobbies who do you play with yeah we do we have to have hob always like you got to get a hobby she she trying to get me into like Pottery barrier for entry but Seth does that once a celebrity does something and it becomes kind of a new thing for them another celebrity like you can't do that I don't want to be like known for that I would just do it and not try and compete with that you wouldn't show it on the internet no I wouldn't I mean how would I not show it on the internet that's what I mean though the moment you did they'd be like Rogan does this and he's got a company now based on it he does yeah he makes we I have some asset stuff yeah you do his like uh pot his uh vases and stuff yeah he makes good stuff yeah it's actually pretty surprising yeah yeah well he was saying that he talks to like real like professional Potter people and they say they like his stuff cuz he doesn't go in with any sort of preconceived notions about what a pot should look like you know yeah right they have a they have a very uh it's almost like they went to film School Pottery School embed in them he's just making pottery from his dick you know right that's where it comes from yeah that's truly where it comes from yeah have you ever seen that Pottery Show on Netflix called uh uh uh uh uh oh and I love it too not forged and fire not seen it there's a it's a pottery competition show on Netflix The Great pot Pottery Throwdown honestly dude go home and watch that the pros one of my favorite thing I've ever seen it's a bunch of like different variants of years of experience in the pottery world and they have it's a great competition show like like like the Great British Bake Off I love that show well this is the same it's a parallel with pottery the big problem with Great British Bake Off I'm going to say it I'm going to say it if you don't I'm going to say it go ahead the changing of the hosting too much well sure mys me I like okay here's the thing if you're watching like drag race you get to experience what they're good at you're seeing them dance right if you watch Project Runway you see the clothes you you get to experience that you don't get to taste the stuff on Great British B off right you just are like I guess I'll take your word for it good it looks good yeah you can't really have an opinion on it Beyond how it looks this is actually a genius idea when the season drops they send out little yep you know I did befriend a couple of them online and they said they'd send me stuff and I just got scared giving them my address right well give them a PO Box yeah just let it sit there it sit for a week you're out of town you're touring when I come back I will taste it I promise are you touring right now I go back out here very soon in like a week I go to Chicago where our beloved Chicago no I'm going home to throw out the first pitch and sing the seventh inning stretch at the Cubs game against the Yankees wait you're from Chicago yes dude I started out here though that's why we never met back then when were you when did you leave Chicago when I was 18 for college and I never went home so when you guys were Chicago guys you know Brer you Canan Pete Holmes Pete homes Hannibal half of these guys aren't even from Chicago which is very funny to me no Hannibal is yes but Pete Holmes moved there TJ moved there I moved there kain's from there iser is from there but you're that no's from Portland Portland yeah that generation in Chicago guys I all met when you guys were out here because I moved here after school and I started here it's a pretty crazy scene like when I think of like that we were all doing open mics together so many people are like doing great everyone you know is successful everyone from that crew ex except for you don't know the names of the ones who aren't success and I don't want to yeah I don't want to talk to them [ __ ] them they me are you doing where are you performing in Chicago well I'm not performing for a while I'm going home to see family and I'm doing the pitch but I'm performing in the Chicago Theater January 11th Chicago Theater wow you just remember your date H well January it's Chicago Theater the other ones I don't I couldn't tell what the other ones are I'm going to record so I you know I didn't do standup For like I say 10 years really more like eight years yeah and I'm touring again I'm going to record my special next year in Chicago at I want I know everyone does the Vic but there's a reason they do the Vic the Vic is like a great theater it's a phenomenal theater yeah the other one we talked about at breakfast this morning was uh talal which is in pilson that's really cool people like that I think canine did something there I'm almost positive he did um but yeah I just love the Vic I I opened for Zach alfanis there in 2007 never heard of him but was is he doing okay gu a beard guy the Beards of yeah beardy beardy guy it's just a wall of people you know it's like it's very vertical balcony are completely on top so you're like an it's fantastic it is a great venue have you played Chicago Theater I have not I actually haven't done I mean I haven't toured in so long I haven't headlined in Chicago ever well get ready bud that's how big is a Chicago Theater like 2500 no no no no no no um I tell you right now don't say it because I'll tell you right now it is 3604 oh big 3604 man that's awesome it is cool I've got this is my this will be my fifth or sixth time doing it the first time I did it I opened for Rogan years ago and uh that was a big deal and then the guy that that worked there who's no longer working there which is so sad he was like uh you'll be back you'll do this on your own someday and I was like yeah right and then I did yeah it was wild is that awesome it was very it was a very cool moment I was sitting back there and they could tell I was a little emotional because I was like you don't know what this means to me I I came here as a kid to see shows yeah you know like I think I saw Phantom of the Opera there when I was a kid with my grandmother and I was like Chicago Theater was such a like I don't know as a kid you're like that's like a um that's where fancy professionals go to put on shows gods and goddesses get on stage and then I'm telling you know fart jokes for an hour it's all fart stuff new tour crying really hard the whole time while I'm telling fart jokes yeah it means so much to you it does finally it does uh how many dates are you doing uh I'm doing like 15 cities this year and then probably another 10 next year and then record inch have you decided where the special will end up yes can we know or no I mean I don't it's it's really not exciting I my they they haven't announced it so I guess I shouldn't say are you doing I'm doing Hulu Okay I'm doing Hulu because uh me too oh you okay great yeah I'm doing Hulu um Netflix uh you know no knock but they just it was I don't they want they offered to do another one with me but Hulu was more enticing I think and I talked to Burr about it and a few other guys yeah he's doing Hulu Gaffigan's doing gaffan bur Sebastian yeah uh that would uh D Stephano Roy J J yeah Jessica kirono oo I mean it's phenomenal I was like this is great like I I just was enticed that they give you a whole month yeah they give you it's a month instead of Netflix is like hey Tuesday and you're like oh my God and on Thursday they're like it's a new guy coming out on Thursday too yeah and you're like oh a more famous guy you put right after me oh okay well thanks I guess for days they say they'll promote each one so yeah I'm going with them hell yeah dude so am I I'm excited I think uh I think it's good that the Market's bigger than it ever was I mean let me give some context oh by the way on the way in I think it's still up there you should see there is a old poster in the hallway of a show that we did many many moons ago um Dave clar you know Dave remember Dave of course you know Dave clar well you don't have to get it now but he'll see it on the way out but it's uh I don't know what show it was not meltdown it wasn't a meltdown show I don't think I think it was another show I think it was at the allean oh the allean yeah what was that the alion what show was there I don't remember either way uh the history we have uh Kum and I Kum has always been a a wonderful guy Beyond being a great comic and I mean this you've always been a great dude um and you haven't changed uh except for your body uh everything else has been the same yeah your your heart is still well your heart's a little bit bigger I would imagine at this point yeah it's working real hard yeah it is it's got to work harder I'm going to I'm going to die you just more blood yeah more blood that's all uh but honestly we met and you were doing meltdown where did we meet meltdown no we met actually we met the first time this is such a blast from the past we talked about this the other night with somebody we met at me and Brooks wheel were talking about it we met at Gower Gulch Tiger Lily what's up what's up Tiger Lily was the first time I met you wow those were like when I would visit La that's the show I would do when I moved here I Monday nights that was that show yeah I remember going in the back of that room and just hanging out sometimes if I was in Hollywood that's right and it was like a I mean cuz galanakis would pop people would pop in and and that was at the height that's when Zach was I mean you know as famous as he's ever been everybody would do that show there would be like 25 comics on that show yeah but it was a great show and the crowd would stay the whole night it' be like a three hour show yeah that's where we first met that's right and then I would come around meltdown when you guys were doing meltdown stuff um and yeah you did our TV show it was fun yeah it was wild you did that sketch that the audience did not know what to do no and still to this day it was the darkest weirdest you and neighbors we still talk about it Emily and I like that's so it was lunacy it it bombed in a way where we were loving it but the crowd was like uncomfortable and I don't even know if it's up anymore but on Comedy Central was like I remember Jonas was like it was weird man I was like good it was supposed to be weird yeah that was the whole point it was supposed to be this uncomfortable weird and Jamar was the one that was like I want to choke you out on stage and I was like okay it was I can't say no people who don't I mean so you play a cop and you're out there Chicago cop apologizing for like killing a black kid yeah and then jamar's in the audience gets up and then he's got Skittles like like Trayvon martines skitt Skittles and then he's upset and you guys get into a fight and what's really what cuz it wasn't really that rehearsed the fight kind of feels real and awward and the audience is silent they don't know what to do it dude it was great it's to watch two guys awkwardly wrestling on stage with a crowd that like does not know how to respond they were very n this is fresh like that Trayvon Martin stuff has just happened yeah we never we we hadn't rehearsed it we didn't talk much about it Jamar was like we'll just do it it'll be great I trusted in Jamar and I still do to this day by the way for the record I trust Jamar neighbors with everything because he could also kill me he could go toe-to-toe with you in the gym that's probably the only guy that can live like you jacked yeah he's absurd I also think he has like kind of nothing to lose so I don't want to fight him no no yeah you got to have something to lose yeah yeah yeah I got too much to live for you have way too much to live for I got my cat I got my my wife I got should have put the wife before the cat but I do understand why he did that that does happen sometimes I got my cat I've got my wife well I was thinking like if I'm gone what's my cat going to do if I'm gone my wife's going to be fine did she love the cat as much as you do yeah Cat's very important to us I've never had a pet before and we don't have kids you know so I think it's the first time you feel like a new kind of love that's like oh this thing is completely dependent on me for survival yeah so it's like a different thing and it's like very uncomplicated you know you don't have to like apologize to it or like although I do you apolog I talk to so my wife's out of town right now Emily's out of town I talk to the cat constantly me I talk to my dog all day morning tonight I'm talking to her it it's really calming I don't know for some reason when I have conversations with my with my dog like I apologize if I know I've been gone too long or something yeah I apologize yeah I go sorry sorry babe I'm sorry and I know she's like it's okay let's get back on the schedule like she's bummed but she's also like let's let's go back to where we're supposed to go back to just keep apologizing and doing it that doesn't really count it's funny how they're able to answer you without answering you yeah they're very good she's very good at yeah well my dog also at the end of the day you know when the in the summer specifically when the sun is behind the bushes and so it's not as hot in my backyard she will she'll hit your hit your leg wherever you are hit your leg with her nose go to the back door and sit and just stare out the window until it's you get the idea that it's like come on dude it's time to go outside all right I guess yeah but if you take too long she'll go up to you and she won't hit you again she'll sit near you and go and it's it's like so her levels of like she's like I'm starting to get frustrated yeah so let's either do it or I'm going to start barking or being annoying like I could piss or poop on something so let's you better speed it up I've done it before and you know I'll do it and I will do it again you want happen right now your cat but cats are so much more well behaved your cat would never like piss on something or no never no like my cat is very well they know when we moved into our old house this is wild he knows this this is nuts our dog was digging like crazy under these bushes and then when our friends dogs would come over they would dig under these bushes and then one time my dog came back with bones and it was cat bones oh they buried a cat they buried all of their cats in my backyard there was like five cats I'm not even I'm not kidding they buried all their cats in the backyard and so we called and are they just full fully bones now all bones all bones these people had lived there for 30 years some 30 some odd years maybe more God also there was uh when we did move in had to do a like a delousing project because there was cat PE well that catpa smell is pretty hard to get out well it got to the wood in the wood floors horrible yeah it was pretty wretched where there was a room where I was like should we just light this room on fire yeah is there a way to do controlled burn of a house you know how they do up in the canyons can I control burn the front room of the home cuz it was dis disgusting this is the new house no this is my old house but they buried a bunch of cat bones so then dogs will come over and just find cat bones and I was like well I'm not going to dig I'm not going to dig it I'm going to let it happen organically because I can't like go digging for cat bones in my backyard and Cat I think cats are cute a cat's skull is not cute it's it's it's horrific it's honestly out of a horror hor have you seen pictures of like baby skulls with the teeth up there in their cheeks no no thank you you got to see this bring it up look up baby skull teeth cheeks I don't know what else to but you know so the baby baby baby teeth yeah the normal teeth are up there they're waiting they're in here they don't like get made they they show up with them they're in the queue and they're literally literally in the queue no look at that oh my God is that repulsive look at that so that's their teeth out and then the next ones are like just up look at that so when you look at a gorgeous little baby just teeth all up here I teeth to the eyes teeth all the way up to the eyes man their cheeks when you there's just teeth under there you're shaking their tooth yeah that's why babies pull away you're shaking you're shaking on their Toth that's my future tooth wow that is why do you know that why did you see that I don't know I'm going to write it a lot you're yeah are you a big you're a big Di I mean sort of some people do they get into that they just they dive into Reddit for like hours and hours and hours I don't do hours and hours I sort of pulled back on being online too much but I do like to look up like weird [ __ ] you know like I'll follow weird stuff give me something give me another weird thing like there's one that uh people I forget what it's called megalophobia people who are scared of big things so it's just pictures of like a massive ship with a person standing in front of it and that gives people panic makes people panic um or there's uh boat go out real far boat go out real far Andrew not on boat Andrew not on boat Andrew back on land you know I can't swim really wait I don't why do I don't notice you really can't swim I know I can't when I was a kid one we didn't have access to pools in Karachi Pakistan all the time uh no pools in Pakistan I mean we had pools but you know you had to like I mean it was very wealthy very few yeah like you had to go to like a sports club or something but what about like uh rivers or swimming areas there's nothing you nothing you swim there's no like lakes or Rivers well I lived by the beach but the water was pretty dirty you wouldn't go in that no I wouldn't it smelled um but I also had an ear problem until like my teens so I wasn't supposed to like put my head under water do you had an you some kind of like uh Canal disorder Canal disorder I I had something I don't know I I got surgery for it oh right yeah don't look at my ears I can see ear stop it your ears do look like they're not submergible yeah I wouldn't put those under yeah keep those above these ears don't breathe under water stop looking in my ears man it's all it's it's weird wait you can't swim though to this day so I still don't know how to swim which is odd your wife is an Olympic swimmer well she won bronze she still won yeah but I mean don't be so mean I wanted the Olympics this year by the way you went to Paris yeah how amazing yeah what'd you go see well I saw the basketball finals with USA and and France are you a basketball fan I don't know this to be true I didn't know NBA is your one yeah I like NBA yeah what any other pro sports or no not I I watch cricket that's a pro sport cricket yeah cricket and basketball that's from your youth though that's embedded in your DNA right yeah that is such a big deal over there Cricket isal we have we don't do anything about that well now people don't understand it I actually do a bit about it where I talk about I love Cricket cuz you know the rivalries are real like uh here you know like you're like oh Yankees and Red Sox like India and Pakistan have nuclear weapons pointed at each other yeah it's country War yeah that's so funny Stakes are very high well because the presidents will like go or the or whatever dignitaries will like go to those games because you're representing yeah the that is but the Premier League does that with soccer which is daunting because it's City vers City but it but it's like the history of the Cities they hate each other so much but do they hate each other independent of the sport yeah okay it's something else going on yeah I mean yeah and in this because it's it's CL it's class it's all class stuff which is like you know I think they're better than us it's all it's like that it's always this like it's always based on class which you're right American Sports has it's just what area you were born in and I find it so weird that players just get traded all the time well that's a that's a new world that that I'm bummed about that too cuz when I was a kid you could have a jersey of somebody and then you have that Jersey and it's not like it doesn't go out a date right or or you just could fall in love with a player who represented your city a little bit and you kind of like you own you you took ownership with them like hey that's our guy yeah now people jumping around all over the place did you like the uh the olyp USA uh games the Olympic Games with against France it was the most energetic room I've been in ever in my life like that crowd was so [ __ ] fired up oh yeah I mean they really wanted to win and it wasn't really that close I mean it's crazy you're sending like LeBron and Steph Curry and Steph Curry went nuts and I mean it was crazy it was the weirdest thing when Steph C did you watch the game yeah so he hit those threes at the end when he hit the first one you could feel the energy in the room change and everyone was like he's going to hit every they knew was coming you just feel it when he hits that first one and then each one's harder than the the previous one soon as he hit that first one at the end people were like oh it's over now right how does he how does he do I mean that is remarkable what he can do if you don't believe [Music] in God whatever a being those things make you go okay something else gave him something I don't know what it is maybe it's another alien life force that gave but that is it's wild Beyond work ethic which he has in Spades of course because my good friend EP uh runs his company his entertainment division so I've you know like seen kind of him for years and there's something else happening what it's got to be magic something cuz that really it makes no sense he'll hit it over like seven foot tall guys it it really when you watch that or like Kobe would get hot you're like the accuracy is something else is going yeah something else is there work has to be there to a degree that's unfathomable to the average person which is why when any idiot says anything about anything I'm always like what are you talking about anything about anything in sports in when they're like oh oh I how do you miss that shot like how how could you ever even come close to doing anything near that exactly you couldn't do anything like last night we're at the bar and and uh we're at the tri trivia night with my with my cousin and some friends and this guy says to me I'm G to run a marathon I'm going to run a marathon I said have you ever you he not training I can finish it exactly but people have this idea that like are sports are easy to do I could just go run 26 I'll just go run a marathon and I said no you I said I'll bet you $1,000 you can't finish uh a marathon without stopping without you taking a walk doesn't count you can't stop I said if you say you can run a whole Marathon non-stop thousand bucks he's like I'll do it no training I said cannot wait to see it and was this how did he think he could do it alcohol for sure this this is fueled by him having a drink it's not one of those things that's like harder than it looks it looks hard yeah it absolutely looks as hard as it is so hard people are are like bleeding from their nipples and stuff that's a tough sport you have to bleed from your nipples another one that I got really into uh was archery in the Olympics because did you watch any archery yeah so you need to put that the it needs to rest on your face they put it on the face and then they all at the podium and they all have a line on their face um and it hits your lip it like pushes yeah they really go right into it I don't know I I've seen it in movies they don't do that I don't know they doing it I think one guy was doing it and they're like well do that it's the [ __ ] olym is the best yeah but you know why they show their heart rate you know they show their heart rate it'll be like 100 beats a minute cuz they're like oh in the [ __ ] Olympics because they have to release the arrow in between the Beats so what they're doing when they have the thing on their face and they're just focusing they're trying to get the own rhythm of their beat W cuz if they release on a beat it's going to be you're going to be a disgrace your nation yeah wow so you got to like and and think 100 beats a minute is like so you got a like you know like gold medal uh loser like just so that's what the difference is this gold medal yeah Loser yeah oh my God that's dark that's dark to think about it's so and then you know what they do those where have three people in a row have to do it and they each have like 45 seconds yeah like uh they they have a total of 45 seconds so when you're there doing it trying to find your rhythm you're like I got to get it cuz there's two more people behind me I'm I'm taking their time man that gives me anxiety also you don't get to do this for another four years right this is it there's no archery tournaments in between that anybody gives I'm sure there are but we don't know about them they're in De Mo Iowa they're all happening somewhere outside I could name yeah exactly I couldn't name one Archer Gina Davis the actress she was an Olympic Archer no way I'm pretty sure that's true he's Googling it right now Gina Davis how about our beloved shooter though this guy this hand in the pocket singlehanded shooter Turkish guy I mean one of the coolest guys ever walked earth guy I love how they interviewed him they're like why don't you have any equipment he's like I don't need it and everybody else is like they look like Mortal Kombat they've got so many like Scopes and things and wearing a special shirt and and then this guy's just hand in his pocket Levis and a T-shirt and he's just popping off t-shirt that just says turkey on it she almost made it to the 2000 olymp almost made it to 200 Olympics wow so K's a liar so Gina Davis it is Gina Davis right she was like a good archer in here we pour whiskey whiskey hey this episode of whiskey Ginger is brought to you by Squarespace Squarespace is the place where you can showcase whatever you got to the world okay uh Squarespace is incredible it's an all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time all in one place all on your terms uh I've been using Squarespace for quite a long time now back in the D you had to learn how to program or use C++ or one of these complicated ways to build out a website make it look cool uh and engaging and not choppy and stupid uh and then something dope like Squarespace comes along and says hey man I'm going to lay it out so simple for you they these beautiful templates that you can use you can 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you want to go well Winona covered Winona Crush was from Scissor Hands Scissor Hands that was my Edward Scissor Hands was my Winona Crush that is one of my favorite movies cuz she's so like ethereal in that she just feels fake like he did AI before AI was a real thing he made that movie look like it could have been compiled from AI I was just watching Batman last night those movies look like the best Batman you're talking about Uno Batman one the best I think I like I like Batman Returns even more but those two Batman movies are so [ __ ] good oh yeah I'm going to make a controversial statement here oh I can't wait I don't think we need to do the when you're Batman you have to talk in a husky voice you don't have to I it sounds really stupid you know you don't have to I think Christian Bill started it and now it's become like an arms race between all of them to see who can go the husk go more it always sounds a little stupid yeah it does don't do it it was fine Katon wasn't doing it wait Did did Clooney do it no I don't think Clooney did it I think Christian Bale started it he did he was kind of the one of the greatest actors of all time started an arm arms race they're all doing too much now I I watched a new Batman cartoon which is really good is it I'm a child at heart yeah but when he's Batman he's like and also obviously why is he doing it when he's just talking to Alfred you know like I sir could you drop the voice please I don't need the the guttal gruning I don't who I think we can just go back to not doing that I think it's because Keaton was so um and how old are you again you're 40 I'm 46 right so how old are you I'll be 41 in a month so we're close in age where like that shaped my childhood Batman one so Keaton was Batman to me yeah but the sound of his voice I do think is what they were imitating because he had very like a very smooth slow low voice you could do that yeah but I talk a little differently as Batman you don't have to go all the way down here but he talked the same when whether he was Bruce Wayne or Batman which is also other actors would go well you know he should have turned into something that's why I think they do that they're like I can fix this watch this CU Kon was like I'm I'm going to play the he is the same man it's just I get to transform yeah that was the beauty and also he really something about Katon is when he is Bruce Wayne he's so [ __ ] unassuming yeah it's so weird how un you're like man this guy's good at being unassuming he felt like a nobody which not to be a dick but everyone thereafter their Bruce Waynes were very bonded almost like they were sexy where Keaton's Bruce Wayne was like kind of a loser yeah he's wearing turtlenecks he's a weirdo he's a weirdo he's like a total weirdo and when he would have parties it was almost he was embarrassed to be at his own house dude I was watching the first one last night he's at his party and nobody knows who he is I know I love that so Vicky Vil goes and she's like do you know where Bruce Wayne is and he's like no and then she walks away I love that he's he that's what I liked about it it almost was like he wanted to be an unknown which which is why when he became known he wanted to be unknown right it was it was like that was the whole point of the movie they became Batman became such a sexy character that I think they felt like you had to Jazz it up juice it up or something and no no hate on I mean every actor who's played Batman is a phenomenal actor like Robert Patterson is one of the best actors Christian Bale is an amazing actor Val Kilmer Val Kilmer one of the best actors of all time George cludy every Batman has been a phenomenal actor that's true but what Keaton did was weirder than everybody else even like Clooney smooth you know yeah uh Katon was not smooth and that movie it's so off-putting and and weird and you know they all the backgrounds of those matte paintings they like painted it it looks so unreal like that's why I like it it looks and then Batman Returns it's not even Batman story The Penguin is the lead of that movie yeah DeVito is it yeah DeVito is the leader of that movie and then there's a sequence where like you know he comes up and he's running for mayor and all this and then he gets defeated because he on on mic secretly says like these idiots or whatever and then it's a scene of him in the sewers and there's an Amphitheater of real Penguins yeah there is and he's like giving him a really angry speech and all these penguins are standing there just listening to him it's such a strange movie and he just has like black spit coming out of his mouth ruing yeah that's not part of penguin that was Tim Burton being like well he should probably have black black goo coming out of his mouth he bites the guy's nose off remember that I love that this was like a movie that had like McDonald's toys it's so strange it was a Happy Meal set yeah when he ate the raw fish down by the water my God i' it's like singed into my brain that scene like no at it in a way that now this is the funniest thing because I've said this one time to Charlie day is I was like I've seen remnants of that character in Frank and Always Sunny that's so funny when he eats I'll be like penguin like that when he does that like KN yeah you can see him do the same kind of cuz he's supposed to be this like outlandish lunatic disgusting disgusting Pig and he does that in Sunny a lot that's right he was so good in that movie and and okay give me this give me your most your favorite obscure scene doesn't have to be from The Batman series that we've been rambling on about but your favorite obscure scene from a movie that you don't think other people saw that stuck out to you always well this is not an obscure movie but or scene in a film I mean like a scene from it I'll give you the example that I'm trying to leave in that Batman yeah I would do this all the time at my house uh and it drove my mom nuts um I would I would lay on the floor of the living room and I'd go CU When The Joker had and so like it was such a and my mom was like what is that I'm like it's in Batman she's like where I'm like it's one of the final scenes when the joke creepy but it stuck out to me so much as a kid because they pan in on him it's so creepy oh my God it's so daunting and the way that Jack's holding his face still yeah and the camera's going into his eye he so good God in that movie that's what I mean with like an obscure scene that like if I made the quote a friend would be like what is that noise from yeah there's like it's so fun to me that there's all those balloons at the end he's got the big balloons that have like the laughing gas right and Batman's got his like cutter big scissors in front of what other application do you have for this what are you doing trimming Hedges why do you need that you had to go trim the palm trees in La what are you doing man give me give me the scissor Cutters Al Lu I have the scissor Cutters they're located in the front of the plane sir here's a scene I think about the first Superman movie uh with Christopher reev the original right the original which I saw recently um and people think of Superman as being like this boring uh Boy Scout guy his performance in the first one is not like that it's like very mischievous and he loves being a superhero there's a sequence in it I cannot believe people don't talk about this I think people just haven't seen that movie in a while he's Superman in Lois Lane is doing an interview with him on the roof and the tension is thick sick you know and so uh she he's standing here she's standing there they're on a building and there's like some sort of like barrier waist high between them and she goes uh uh so you can like see through things and he goes yeah and she's like what color are my panties this is in Superman I don't remember this it's crazy she goes what color are my panties and he's like oh I can't see through lead which is good storytelling cuz that's going to come back later that's just good Exposition he's like I can't see through life so they talk for another another four or five minutes and she walks away and he goes pink and she goes excuse me he goes your parties they're pink and she goes do you like pink and he says I like pink very much this isn't the first Superman movie this is a children's movie I don't remember this it's such a great scene God that's great it is so hot and they and by the way if there was ever any discussion over whether or not that was necessary they're like well the lead drop is what we need we we need what we got to we got to somehow why wait what what was the barrier was made of lead between it's just like some piece of the building that they're you know they're like standing there and there's like some sort of roof structure sure isn't this funny that this also gave us a tip for the future of how much lead was in everything that we built exactly now that same roof has a sign that says California prop 65 says this building could cause birth defects exactly when I moved into my first apartment in La I saw that sign and I thought what does that even mean I called my dad I was like there's a sign out front of our apartment that says it could cause birth defects he's like oh yeah they built those things filled with asbest and lead and yeah cancer cancer you're living in a building a cancer building you know Nate Craig oh yeah love Nate Craig yeah great guy I'm also a golfer too oh he's a big golfer but we used to go to his house he used to have these parties on July 4th and at his house there was a sign on the thing that was like you g to got cancer please take a test on the way out let us know how much cancer you got while you were here and how long you were here for no that always moving to where did you first live in LA where was your very first apartment uh Los felis m that's a good move I I've only ever lived in Los vas and Silver Lake until now and now I don't live there you never lived in anything really like scary and sketchy huh good for you no I never lived in anything I lived in the throws of Culver City back when it was like now it's so funny now it's like Amazon and apple yeah back then it was like uh car window broken and uh knife stickups it was the sh it was not great back in the day I mean it wasn't like super unsafe but my Hyundai Sonata did get broken into and all theyo was my book of CDs and my CD book for the guy that still has my CD book I'm really upset because that exhibit CD that was burnt in there was one of my favorites DMX was in there one of my favorites I mean you have access to these songs though how K where am I going to get these songs I would I would give Google a shot G don't look that up you know what a CD book being stolen really is a violation cuz it's like such nobody else has that collection it was so personal only it's yours I mean were you you a nerd about like I organized each page each page was organized I know you were like that each each four page four dis page was organized specifically to a genre or a style and it was very deliberate and if people if I took a CD out it was going to go back in the slot it belong and if a friend if a friend replaced it into another spot no idiot also sometimes a dumb friend if you really have Dumb Friends which I had a lot of sometimes they would double in a CD into into a single spot you know I should you kill that disgusting I was the same way with my vhs's and stuff like I would very very I just thought of the thing that you were saying specific scene yeah I would say from Ninja Turtles uh okay when Casey Jones hits it with a bat he hits Raphael he goes what do you know six runs he just says it I would just say it what do you know six runs I would just say that see this is what I mean all of us have these little like nuggets that stayed in our mind and I don't even know why Emily would like Emily has like certain phrases she says you know and then uh we will'll watch like one of her favorite movies from like when she was a kid and I'll be like that's that phrase you say all the time and it's like some movie that she watched when she was seven years old you know and it just gets itself you say that what was it like like if I think it was was that the Real Genius we were watching some movie that she loved as a kid uhhuh and I was like there are like three phrases from that that you say all the time well there's some that I'll say my mom does it a lot my mom does a lot because we would watch movies together and uh she'll do it a lot but and it's common stuff but she like she we loved big we W my mom and I we watch big together one of the perfect movies front to back it's on Penny Marshall dude Penny Marshall some people figured out same thing with like John Hughes some people figured out family comedy whatever you want to call it know they just did it so well that you're like this a perfect movie yeah even though it has a ton of holes like like an absurd amount of holes yeah I also Emily had the idea to do a sequel for that woman who's like I [ __ ] fell in love with a 12-year-old yeah what happens to her next I want to see follow her around like oh God turn out that was galain Maxwell how weird is that that's who that was the whole time that the movie was filled with such obscure holes but I but uh my will quote just you know like she'll always go okay I got on top when they're talking about the top when just the sleepover is that a trampoline yeah I'll say that a lot I'll just walk in the kitchen I'll go is that a trampoline that's she's like yeah you want to do you want to jump it's such a it was the way that I remember Brewster's Millions like the way that we all thought that kids would spend money when they had money big actually did it the best because you would you'd get apartment in Soo of uh you'd get a you know a huge lofted apartment in SoHo in New York in the in Manhattan you'd go work at a toy company at a toy company and you would fill it with all the [ __ ] your mom and dad would be like we're not going to have a basketball hoop in the living room that's stupid why would come on Andrew stop it and he did all that [ __ ] it was per and that was the best joke that they wrote in there was that the beds was the beds were still bunk beds it was just two small bunk and they were singles they were like little tiny it was it was like a perfect vision of what a a child would actually yeah my mom and I quote it all the time cuz that was the one that we would watch constantly I mean and and then there's another question I have for you now uh I got to work with John herd in an indie movie in Chicago and I kind of was excited and I thought I've never been like Star Struck or whatever and I've worked with pretty like sub substantial actors and for some reason because it was my childhood I was like God I want to ask John herd so many things and we were on like our first day and he was smoking a cigarette sitting in a chair and you could tell he didn't want to do this movie it's like an indie movie in Chicago it was probably a favor and uh I was like hey I just want to tell you how much I respect you and love your work and you know like big is literally a movie that my mother and I watch when we go home give me the ball Basin my mom says that all the time and uh and he was like oh yeah yeah all right I was like I'm in the movie I'm in this movie with you you know what I mean like to try to like yeah I'm Legit I'm not just some scrub yeah I'm not I didn't just bring in the food I you know and he was like oh yeah that's good that's nice man and I was like it didn't go great no it it wasn't bad it was just like it just it reminded me keep it to myself well um keep it to myself next time I have had luck not keeping it to myself too I think you could sort of it depends on who it is it depends on who it is but he seemed he was you know I mean he's just he's a legend yes also a legend in Chicago film history which I think is also very interesting because Home Alone he's embedded as a Chicago guy yeah for the rest of time like you are the dad from Home Alone yeah and your Uncle Frank was an [ __ ] and I mean it's like or I mean your brother your brother Frank yeah I mean like you're sometimes you embed yourself in a way does that ever is that ever a fear of yours where like they embed you to a film or a role and people now you think people will think of you as that for the rest of your career I mean I feel like that would be pretty great a good thing yeah no it wouldn't be a good thing but no I don't have I mean you know people used to call me Den on the street they still do because of silicon Val yeah um but no I mean for me I truly just want to do like something completely different every time like that's at least what I the goal so hopefully it wouldn't be like that but it's hard you know but Des but but someone calling you something so iconic from a show that was so beloved there is also something cool about that it is I mean except for denes does sound a little it's a little yeah you know what I mean yeah it's a little when someone yells Mike to me from the show Dave I'm always like okay yeah but when someone's like denes yeah hey denes that's his name he's dases you're the [ __ ] you're the Indian guy from the thing that's a little it's a little it's a little shitty it's a little shitty it's a little [ __ ] listen happy happy to people watch my [ __ ] happy people watch I should tell you I three times masturbated to chip Andale so I just want to let you know three times yeah three times and what were the scenes yours okay yeah just you you you just me me me yeah okay anytime I saw you I thought I got to rope one out real fast snap one off did you have fun was that fun it was really fun yeah it was a good time yeah cuz I got to do something completely different than i' had ever done before when you said that that's what I thought of I thought that was very unique for you yeah it's hard to like you know if you're it's it's hard like I don't get to play bad guys you know well you're not a bad guy that's kind of a problem it's sort of but it's sort of also become like well what message are we sending if the brown guy is the bad guy well you're just saying that we're all just people and some of us are good and some of us are bad right and so like you know I saw this movie um well Sebastian Stan was in this movie fresh did you inred fresh incredible actor no and like a leading man but he also played this like really evil guy in this movie and I was like well I want to do something like that but I think it's hard if you're they're like well that's a bad message we're sending well yeah that is true there's I understand the piece of that being cognizant of like what do I want yeah what am I trying to say or am I able to just embed this in a character and go you do know these are characters we have to play characters that did exist that were real people too that that is a delicate balance but also your trouble to me is you have a nice face so you know what I mean some guys faces look like they could be [ __ ] better I have a I can be an [ __ ] better face than you do because they just do it's just a birth it's Birthright yeah but I think sometimes like like I'd love to see has Tom Hanks ever played a bad guy yes yeah he was a he was a tyrannical evil person Forest Gump right wasn't that he was a bad guy in that one or no bad guy he wasn't a bad guy in Forest Gump by the way that's a movie Elvis huh Elvis yeah sure and Elvis he was kind of a dick right when he play the manager right he was a piece of [ __ ] in that I guess so but let's really go down this I guess that's it yeah is that the closest we got I think kind of I mean Tom Hanks really is a Marvel isn't he I mean he started off as like a sitcom actor yeah bom buddies yeah wasn't that him yeah right yeah Lady Killers yeah yeah there is no such thing it's that is a oxymoron there is no bad corn BR watch your mouth yeah you watch your mouth pal do you make films are you a filmmaker you shut your mouth well he can eat cake and be like I don't like the cake no he cannot he doesn't have to be a baker to say he doesn't like you should have made a cake before you start to criticize cake all right that's fair also at some point in your life pleas please learn how to make a cake please please learn how to make a cake I've made I've made cakes you are a big cake guy I love cake but I've made I've baked what's a cheat meal for you I know your diet's ridiculous well so this week this weekend I've already planned I'm going to eat a burger and fries on on Saturday have you picked the Burger Joint already in your mind can we know what is it what do you get I'm going to go to this restaurant called the Benjamin that's new and it looks cool okay yeah are they known for their burgers yeah I heard they have a good burger okay all right yeah you know it's the hundreds guy opened this restaurant ah ah well it that does line up namesake wise that does make sense so I'm excited to um Etc to try that but but I've been traveling a lot so my diet hasn't been as good I don't believe it but it hasn't you don't need sweets though you're not a sweets guy I love sweets really that's my weakness I I don't eat them very much but that's my favorite thing what's your what is the what is the one sweet that you could take to the Grave when I used to oh my God I mean I can't even pick one there's so what's at home right now is there anything at the house or you don't do that you don't keep it there to torture yourself no right like we don't buy [ __ ] I can't have that I used to around Christmas um when I was single all my friends would leave town this was in Chicago and I'd be like everyone's like pet sitter you know my family doesn't celebrate Christmas and so I'd go feed everyone's pet and I would have a day where every meal was dessert I'd go and I get breakfast dessert lunch dessert no way and dinner dessert wow and I would just eat all day just dessert that's Christmas that's yourr your family does celebrate Christmas that was my that was my Christmas it was F I'm getting tears in my eyes thinking about it what was the do you what was the memorable meal do you know what it was what were what were they you know I love like a banana cream pie I think that's really good but I like a pie with like the gram cracker like the cookie type crust you know I I don't like as much the um other kind regular pie crust you're saying yeah I don't like it as much I mean you know if that's what they got I'll eat it sure it took me a while to get into the bask cheesecake you know cheesecake has the base at the bottom Basque is just a cheese there's no cake at the bottom and I was like well that's not cheesecake I've learned to love it now I enjoyed the you do like it I need the bottom um cuz I like the snap when the fork goes through it I me it's great yeah of course but with even with the bask I've learned to enjoy it I love a Creme Brule here's my idea for a creme brulee you know you you've had creme brulee yeah dude what K know I know we all live in the world we're all doing okay we've all had Creme Brule okay here's the problem with a Creme Brule right you crack the top yeah then you you eat the top it's gone mhm double aay creme brulee so there's creme brulee Creme Brule oh my God so you crack it and you eat it and then you crack there's another one Underneath It crack it again crack it again eat it again smart I like this how about that yeah some people would order two but I do get this is another way to do it oh you can order two yes you can when you're with me you do whatever you want I'll pay for it but this is like a tiu almost layers wise love a tiasu oh that's my favorite dessert love a tiu it's the one that I think is my that's the one that's my one I I would say it's top five for me that's my one or good oldfashioned uh warm apple pie and french vanilla bean ice cream ice cream yeah the problem with tiu I feel like there's a lot of variation in what a Tiramisu is yeah well everyone tries to do their own spin that's why you got to go to Old mom and pop Italian joints you just want the layers yeah the OG give me the OG I like don't try to J it up with some new variation of tiasu just you've already nailed it yeah we did it yeah lady fingers in espresso lay with marscapone cheese really good my wife makes a phenomenal tiasu and then a lot of times we'll go out and I'll go it's not yours it's not as good it's not as good she's perfected cuz she's made it enough now cuz she loves it where uh we know which restaurants you know do it the best and then we'll ask like what like what they're what's the trick to keeping this moist this cold and this not soggy I mean that's the thing you got to have the different textures in there yeah we got to make sure the lady fingers don't get too soggy otherwise it's sloppy it's just going to fall apart like when you go to a restaurant and they put it on the plate and it flops and you're like this is not it take this back Chef take this back make it colder make it colder now banana pudding I really like with like the the vanilla wafers or whatever is in there but then again you know you don't want the vanilla wafers to get too like sogg you got to like hold on to I don't know how they do it well some places you know when they do fries and they put a bunch of stuff on them some places are able to keep the fries still crispy yeah what is I don't know how they do it when they put the cheese and you know whatever on there but they can still keep it crispy preservatives something is layering itself I think they're they're double frying or triple frying it or something you see I'm a big I'm a big food guy yeah you are a food Guy this is your Vice because of your health aspect now of keeping in good shape now your food is your naughty boy Vice I've always had a weird relationship with food though like it's always felt like I've always love here's my theory about it I think I grew up in a culture where the food is too good to not have some kind of eating disorder our food Pakistani food Indian food is too [ __ ] good and you eat it all day every day and and it becomes too important to you and so I think we all have like sort of a disordered eating situation cuz we just our food's too taste but you don't see a lot of overweight Indians and pakistanis no but we die of heart attacks in our 40s God Bless yeah yeah well but that's also other things that's stress and life and pressure and it is genetics too genetics yeah we don't want to talk about it no we can let's talk right about we are not built to last no you're not a Ford truck no what what is the one Pakistani dish that Biryani that's it for you yeah that's that's my number one dish in of all time can you make it or can Emily make it not as good my you know my grandmother made the best and now my mom makes it my grandmother's gone where did she go uh she went to Tanzania what is she doing there little research project she doing her dissertation still yeah she just living in the middle of the woods I don't know to you have Woods no I don't know no we got to get you a map you got to get yourself a new map you're like a smart guy huh no yeah you are no I'm not am I no no thank you okay I'm uh I'll say this I'm a um uh Street smarts my Street Smart Level is through the roof yeah my books smart stuff is like uh if I want to indulge and engage then I can learn but my street smarts like um how are your grades and stuff me uh almost uh non-existent okay uh bad in high school I was a CB guy BC guy and what were you like were you like piece of [ __ ] get in trouble pie of [ __ ] I was lighting everything on fire causing trouble no I was I liked um I liked uh drinking and partying and I I was a I was a goofball I hated school me too and then I got to college and I was doing journalism and English and media studies and so then I got A's I was on the honor college yeah because I wanted to high school never click with me because it was stuff I didn't give a [ __ ] about right I didn't give a [ __ ] about most of the classes right they were meaningless to me it was like this information is not even fun to learn and then when I got to college once I got the uh prxs out of the way then I was like oh you could just then I could take class I like yeah like like new media studies was great when I learned about this world of digital media which was start brand new back then in in journalism and so I just I think those things intrigued me and even if I was bad at it I worked extra hard to learn it cuz I thought it was fascinating CU you cared yeah yeah I gave a [ __ ] but so I was an a student in college ironically enough because I didn't party any less I part party more yeah but I gave a [ __ ] that was my problem with high school initially I triy to explain this to my mom she was like you're not a dumb kid why do you why do you do this and I'm like I just don't like it I I I find zero zero engagement it's so boring I hated school my entire life until College too but you're Mark I see that's the thing I got good grades until you found what you liked you just put up with the [ __ ] I got good grades yeah I always got good grades but I hated school I it made me absolutely miserable I could not believe I had to go to school worst days of my life did you go to college yeah I went to where did you go to college went to a small School in Iowa called grenell College what was that for why'd you do that what's the purpose grenell how did you find it why did liberal arts I to Liberal Arts cuz I didn't know it's a you know I I i' grown up in karach which is like 20 million people it's like our New York it's like a busy City like buildings loud dirty you know so I was like I want to see what rural life is like wow cuz I was coming to the US like I want to know what it is yeah so applied to a bunch of liberal arts schools high rank liberal art schools in small towns or like rural areas and grenell was the highest ranked one that I got into I think it was ranked like 9th or something in Lial art schools and you know you US News and World Report would do that thing right I remember that yeah so and they would also rank like the the the most worthless universities did they do that yeah they were like party schools yeah well dude I went to one what was it I was at Arizona State okay yeah Harvard of the West is what we called it Harvard of the West very hard to get into you had to be there you had to show up yeah should be there if you actually got to like if you come to Arizona we'll let you in make it here yeah if you can make it dude you're in yeah if you can drive over that's your admissions test did you do all four years yeah wow so many Comics I feel like bail after one or two no it was too important to me I also you know had like I didn't have a Visa I mean I had a a a study Visa right so I had to if I dropped out of school I couldn't stay in the US and so I had to study visa and I I loved College I had a great time and I my senior year started doing standup comedy senior year in in in Ohio Iowa Iowa I mean yeah wow was there any scene at all no I did it twice on campus I just did like there was this like coffee shop that the year before I did it they had like an open mic night and it was just really three or four people would go up into standup and uh I was like oh I want to do that cuz I would really fall in love with standup I'd never really seen it until you know coming to the US in Pakistan you didn't there was no exposure to it at all I think I think standup is like a very American form well yeah for sure I mean yeah birthed for sure here I mean it feels like it it's it's very much our uh you know in a way that some culture had wonderful music for their Community yeah we just had making fun of how [ __ ] up everything is for our communities particularly because of our you know if you think about historically like the greatest you know look if you take somebody like prior for instance the greatest thing that he ever did was Bridge of the gap between very very impoverished and and and then people who didn't understand that world had no exposure to it he was able to like talk to multiple kinds of people which I think was the most brilliant thing about him which we rarely get anymore we don't well it's also because he probably was again another one of these Steph Curry where are you from yeah what's going on who made you what is this how did you how can you do this how are you able to do this thing so seamlessly so well you know it's interesting I think about this a lot where I see certain people where I'm like you just got whatever that thing is and you got it you know but then watching the Steve Martin documentary did you watch the Steve Martin documentary no but I read his book standing up is fantastic phenomenal um Steve Martin to me is obviously you know one of the best communities of all time nobody's ever been who's better than Steve Martin right he's done so much and his approach was not that it was very thought out it was very meticulous he would like go through and sort of think about it and and construct it and work hard at it so so his approach wasn't sort of like completely instinctual like like I think like prior was you know like prior was just funny in his bones like Chappelle just funny in his bones not that they don't work at it right um well prior's gotten lazier recently just a I don't he's not put anything out in a long time what do he new special buddy is he he's not on the Hulu lineup well I did hear Netflix offered him a deal and he turned it down but but Steve Martin worked at it like math yes that was really interesting he does talk about it in the book yeah specifically because he was obsessed with well magic right he would do yes so he loved uh you know any magician that you meet that's worth their weight is usually you know and analytical ner nerdy analytical they're very like specific precise yeah in a good way in a good way it's I I struggle with magic well it's because it scares you it scares me because the way you grew up it scares me yeah it does yeah because your parents would tell you magic is say it haram Haram that's right magic is Haram that's right I was letting you have it no but I I think every magician I've ever met is very like analytical and very down to the because tricks have to be it makes me very uncomfortable it is it's a little weird I don't like get Pary with they have a magician and then suddenly a guy comes up to you being nice to him and then he pulls out a deck of cards and everybody's gathered around and you're like I don't or you you think you're having a conversation with him and then he uses that for the thing and you're like oh [ __ ] don't do this why are you doing that yeah it's always like you're like why are you wearing a suit nobody else is wearing oh [ __ ] I got trapped in another goddamn magic show and he lowers his bottom lip and a tattooed inside there as Emily and you're like is this your wife's name you're like get get him out yeah I don't like get him out of here they're just fancy Liars I know you're doing something fancy Liars they are if magicians are fancy Liars comedians are what sloppy Liars yeah we're sloppy Liars not fancy at all they're just dressed up Liars that's all they are yeah yeah I'm glad you're back by the way I want to say this I'm glad that I I'm glad that I see you around more doing standup now that I run into you yeah I love it man because it's great that it's just I think a lot of guys go through that chunk of time where like you took more time off for acting which is wonderful and writing and whatever else you were were up to it's like it's neat to see people go do your thing and then you're you're coming back we have uh same representation and it's funny when I speak about you um to him I said it's been cool to see kumel come around more he's like yeah he's want he's going out he's like doing it again yeah which I think is excit I think it's a cool thing to take a break and come back yeah it was really interesting coming back actually cuz you're sort of like you kind of have to go like why am I coming back like what's what's the why am I doing this again and it it's just sort of like what do I you know I this was interesting is I came back after eight or nine years and I see the same guys I see you know a bunch of people and it's interesting to see the people who in that time have gotten better mhm and the people who haven't right yes you know what I mean yes and some of them were good back then too and they're still good but they haven't like evolved in any way but then some people you're like oh you're like sort of still figuring out and want to keep changing and growing and that's interesting so for me it was like why why do I want to do this again and um and it was really to it was a horrible feeling not being good at something that I used to be good at it was a horrible feeling to do you think you might not have it anymore is that what you mean like you thought maybe I can't do it anymore well I knew I couldn't do it anymore and I knew I could if I put in the time but it felt really like you know it gets bigger and bigger the further you stay away from it so so you get like more and more intimidated by it and so and I i' also like built up these things in my head where I was like oh if the audience knows me I go on and I don't do well that's going to reflect poorly it's actually interesting to them they don't give a [ __ ] they don't give a [ __ ] you watch you do it and they're like oh I saw that guy on TV and then I saw him on stage and he didn't have a good set it was of doesn't matter it doesn't matter um and so uh what was I going to say I was going to say something about this why you came back I just wanted to be good at it again and I wanted to have like an hour that I'm like cuz I felt like I never recorded you know I I did special 2013 I'm very proud of it but I want when I watch it now and I watch it every day when I watch it now I mean what else are you going to do in the middle of this podcast your special is playing in the middle I hope you know that yeah they can't hear a word that we're saying please it's pretty good um when I watch it I'm like this doesn't capture me when I was like at my best like I remember a time when I was doing standup where I felt like I could do well in any room right any crowd any room I can kill I had that feeling I remember and and then when I wasn't doing it being like I cannot even I don't that must have been a different person I cannot even access what feeling that must have been like yeah you know um when I watch the special I'm like that's not me at my best I'm happy with the material and stuff but I'm pushing I'm too loud you know it's like you just that night I was nervous it's a special they're all little not you it's it wasn't quite me that's right it wasn't quite me so I was like I want to do it again and I want to have a special where I really am me on stage oh that's what you're doing now yeah that's what I'm doing now and it was it was interesting to sort of figure that out because the performance came back before the writing did I'd forgotten how to write standup it took a while to remember and the skill I still don't have completely is you know when you go up you're doing Chicago Theater 3600 you know how to play that room you go Comedy Store main room you know how to play that room you go to the O different room you know how to play that room you go to a coffee shop 20 people you know how to play that room that I quite don't have where you have that feeling of like oh you're in this room and you're sort of like okay yeah I know uh this is a room where I'm louder and more performanc or this is a room where I'm just talking to people that uh the different kind of rooms thing I'm having uh I'm realizing that's the skill I don't fully have yet again well you have it it's just you're getting back to it like I did um I did uh two weekends ago at Comedy Works Denver the best the best the I mean maybe the best club lmer or or the suburbs I did downtown downtown the best yeah amazing room mhm 300 people crammed in you crush every night it's great it is and then I did another venue that's a much bigger venue higher ceilings it was a music venue you do that and you're sort of like oh my I don't know my rhythm on this in this room yet well they're so significantly different so different I it is it's daunting sometimes because you do go same set same set same Rhythm they're they're their their Rhythm doesn't match the room's Rhythm I needed to just shift the the thing it need to change that's the thing you know and you you're like do I slow down speed up like all that stuff was so instinctual and I'm still getting that back isn't it also interesting that sometimes feel like the feels like the audience has like decided all together we're going to be like this this time I know it ISD you like how is everyone here tight yeah yeah how is everyone sort of did you guys have a meeting before coming here it transfers in chunks though I you can almost feel it happening yeah and to flip the room which is the best skill that we can ever have is some of the hardest [ __ ] in the world when they are kind of oh I don't know they're almost they're almost uh semi- disinterested and then they kind of get it and then Pockets start really enjoying it so then some other pocket is like that's the thing you get a couple people you get a couple loud laughers going and then it could sort of start to like change like I did a set I did an hour and I didn't get him until the last 15 minutes this was recently until the last 15 minutes and then I got him and I was like I don't know if that's something to be proud of or not it took me 45 minutes put in the work to get them going I mean it really did feel like work sometimes it does feel like work right uh Works don't feel like work M but sometimes you're like I did the job of standup today I worked standup today yeah I worked stand up stand that was like you know lunch Bell 9 to5 standup set with your thermos and coffee you're drinking on the way out all defeated in your in your Timberland boots wiping the sweat off your neck yeah exactly well I'm glad you're back and I want uh everyone to please uh go see you on the road I imagine your tickets are on your website and your website is of course uh I support Jessie Ventura uh.com is that what it is did you see Sid Vicious just died are you serious you know who that is s and then he Sid Justice for a little bit Sid Vicious died today yesterday he was 63 this podcast will be out after this have all happened but my God what did he die of I did see the last image I saw of Him video or whatever he he didn't look like he was going to be long for this world great didn't look great and I mean that in a not judgmental way like lifestyle trauma yeah yeah it looked tough it looked tough it looked I'm friends with a couple wrestlers yeah uh and it is you know they talk about these guys came out and they're good but they talk about how tough it is yeah I mean and a lot of times the addiction that's there and the the addiction I mean a lot of addiction what is it was lung cancer Jesus thanks a lot mcon okay you're such an [ __ ] dud keep it light it's the comedy podcast dude Jesus um what is your website by the way for tickets well go to my Instagram which is KL n k u m a i l n and you can go to my link tree there there's a link Tree on his Instagram yeah I'm sure you follow him if you're listening to the show and you're a fan yeah I'm doing Philadelphia I'm doing Austin I'm doing Minneapolis I'm doing DC I'm doing uh uh Phoenix you know love doing a bunch of bunch of rooms Valley the sun Atlanta Buckhead Theater where are you playing what Atlanta Atlanta I'm playing the oh Tabernacle oh the Tabby yeah we call the tabby how is the Tabby great is it it's fantastic Atlanta's one of the best comedy cities I think we've ever played in our entire life yeah unbelievable man I think at is great City it's phenomenal it's also amazing when you're in Atlanta and you realize how segregated every other city is yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah especially here yeah oh my God this the best Chicago well Chicago was number one for a while they're losing their ranking they're losing their ranking a little bit really people are mixing yeah it's kind of annoying yeah I mean Chicago truly was like south of downtown yes north of downtown yeah it's still pretty it's still pretty sectioned but like uh La is we're probably one of the worst yeah yeah we're probably one of the totally but you go to Atlanta and you're like this is hey people live amongst each other yeah it's great this is what they were talking about all those years yeah this should be go to K's link tree go to his Instagram and and uh I appreciate you very much coming on the show it does mean a lot you're the greatest of all time uh wow sorry greatest Pakistani of all time I should say okay wow that got that's a okay look again I appreciate you uh we end the show the same way you look into that camera right there you're single if you will actor um and you end the show with one word or a phrase it used to be a word if you have something uh beautiful and prolific if you if you want something that uh can live on the show forever one word or one phrase whenever you're ready wow yeah it's going to end the episode so okay whenever you're ready that's a lot of pressure isn't it it's not that big of a deal if you if you face significantly harder pressure okay Twitter pained in here we pour whisk whis whisk whis you were that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like that the ginger Jean is a cursed Ginger are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse gingers oh hell no this whiskey is excellent Ginger I like gingers