Taylor Tomlinson is here! | Whiskey Ginger

Intro what up whiskey Ginger fans welcome back to the show if it's your first time joining the show welcome to the show hey I'm on tour come out and see your boy on the freeze Peach tour come see me uh Frank California then I'm up in Vancouver uh British Columbia Canada I go to Indianapolis Charlotte walkal Iowa Omaha Nebraska Kansas City Cleveland uh Elizabeth Indiana St Louis Grand Rapids Detroit nans San Antonio Chicago my home Durham Atlanta Charleston Philly New York Phoenix San Francisco San Diego Boston and Minneapolis to end the tour uh we're adding dates for adding cities don't be upset they will be up there soon if you don't see your city or hear it uh Andrew Santino docomo Doom in here we pour whis whis whis whis whis you were that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like vampires the ginger Jean is gingers are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse gingers oh hell no this whiskey is excellent Ginger I like gingers you know what I was watching I was watching clips of your podcast and I was watching you uh [ __ ] on Benny Blanco Benny Blanco who I'm assuming is a friend of yours and I was reading all the comments just coming for you being like this is so unnecessary he's being such a dick people are so dumb people are so dumb it's like dude and I say in it I've known you for a long time and I do this that bit with for people that don't know I did a bit with about him dating Selena and uh it's a bit and people are like this is the most aggressive who is he he's ugly he couldn't get her it's like dude it's a bit it's a fun bit with my buddy well you're too good an actor that's the problem thank you see that's really what it is most of our bits work cuz we're bad actors but when you're a good actor on top of being a comedian people feel like um podcasting or comedians it's like they think they can see the cut off of when we're [ __ ] around and when we're not but you're like we almost always are yeah almost always it's like laced with some love and a joke uh also could you imagine that would we'd never speak again if that was a serious conversation no but if someone had like never seen your podcast before and that just came up on Tik Tok I could see how people might be like what the [ __ ] who's this what don't cut he's being really nice but they take it to the keyboard like you know what dude did you forget your redhead you ugly red head it's like okay dude are people still doing that to this day well he does most of it mcone comments most of it under being ugly ugly ginger boy all that stuff comes from him someone has to keep him in check yeah I don't have a choice man yeah well cuz before this I was a male model you know that right I was a male model yeah for TJ Maxx oh my goodness I that would be such a good backstory I wish that wasn't a joke no come on I'm going to start telling people did TJ Maxx ad have they ever had a redheaded has there ever been a redheaded uh model that wasn't a baby to a redheaded successful model you say there has to been name one we don't know any redheaded models model Cy Crawford I can't name any Crawford is not a redhead said I can't name any other model in general I Nico Nicole Kidman's right Adriana Lima what do you mean you know famous models we lot of redheads alexen Graham was the first redhead Victoria Secret Angel in 2019 really that's pretty big so the first redhead Victoria Ang took till 2019 it took us till 2019 to go 11 redhead runway models you should know about written in 2016 yeah written by a redhead for sure some vulnerable red from how to be a redhead.com 100% see what I mean this how insecure we are that we're like we do have hot people I just feel like it was that one year that South Park went really hard at redheads and then other than that I've been like Redheads no one's mad at redheads right Kick a Ginger Day was a big a big a bit for them yeah we're like the last remaining take free shots anybody can take a free shot at us there is no in the woke movement of the world we live in there is none for ginger ginger people u i mean I don't think you're going to get much sympathy online there's no sympathy but we are the bottom of the barrel you can say anything you want and nobody cares I don't are people [ __ ] on redheads I don't see that yeah this is still a cultural thing to make fun of redheaded people yeah it's still like yeah it's a normalized thing you're not arounded you're ignorant to it yeah you're ignorant to it yeah that's your privileg this is what I get canceled for can you imagine all the things I could get cancelled for they're like she just doesn't understand your privilege is so strong brunette privilege that's what it is and by the way it's and your hair is and I Dy it blonde sandy blonde yeah yeah no I dye it I Dy it I wish I looked better with dark brown hair but I don't unfortunately and I work in entertainment so you look great do you want me is that what you wanted me to say I don't want you to say I don't believe you great my favorite thing is uh the amount of people over the years who have said that I dye my hair that is people think you dye your hair you have to dye your face yeah well in different lights right like different podcasts or different lights it looks brighter or or more toned down and the amount of people on the inner of the are like he definitely dies his hair where would you find this where could you po have you ever seen an old woman with uh uh purple hair it's because they try to do this and then the chemicals go wrong and then they then it turns out like it's like kind of a a rust it's like a rust color and then it fades into their gray well I was going to dye my hair red I wanted to dye my hair red a few months ago and uh Red Hair my hair and makeup team at work was like it looks really different in different lights and you're in different lights constantly constantly so they were like I just they're like you can if you want and I've learned that if somebody who professionally does hair says if you want you should not do it right right take the advice well you know I could be the cautionary tale they're like what do you want to be a Santino in and out of light is that what you're looking to do on your show you want to get the acting roles you audition for E speaking of your show I congratulated you when you first got it I texed you I and I said how happy I was for you because it was such a cool moment we spoke about it on bad friends and I said oh that's nice well because we love you I just I think you're um I don't have any I don't know how to formulate it but uh I think you're such a talented humble good person and success sometimes finds the right people where you're like this is nice that this happened and I haven't been on your show which I'm a little annoyed with I I was going to say here's why here's why the two times we've tried to schedule being on your show uh both of these times uh your team or the people or whoever give me dates that I can't do and I'm like can you give us dates can you give us anything and we'll do we'll do we'll do but then they talk about pairings is important oh yeah they say who we go on the show with is why we schedu we asked you for this week and I was like well I can't do that week and then they're like well let's try to find another and I forgot because that's how has always been on that kind of panel show right where they don't want to just throw you on America thinks it's like no producers strategically like her with him and they're really good with this is not it is smart it is clever to way but the twice two times we were like I can't do it man man yeah see I was like not going to ask you because I assumed that you'd been asked and you were like I'm really busy and I feel I never want to be the person who's like well I did your show like I didn't want it to come off like that that's why you're here now she's like this would have been my day off but I came to do the podcast so what the [ __ ] in you know going to do the show I would love for you to do the show we I think I think it's a note from the network that they're like we love it when people who know each other are on and it is true it is the best when people know each other but like you know tons of people so I don't think that would be that hard I do understand that that some that was how it was with like spy show the lights out thing was they always wanted you with someone that you knew cuz if you ever did it with someone you didn't know that well I think I did Hardwick's at midnight which in the past that one's in the rear view okay we're on a new show no I did it once with um two people that I didn't really know that well and it doesn't it doesn't really click you and I would click yeah but then it's hard to be contestant contestant to have like a nice you know what it feels like it feels like Jeopardy yeah where they're very like and then it's staunch and stiff because they're not friends they're competing yeah the toughest episodes we've had have been and for the Dream Guests most part they've all been great but the toughest ones we've had have just been ones where the three panelists just didn't really mesh and it you know individually everyone's great but it just didn't really come together and you couldn't find a rhythm you know and so do you have any dream guests for the show I mean I would love it if like coar and Conan did it together but they're very busy are they though I mean isn't Conan retired no he does a podcast six days a week yeah and he like filmed those those shows for HBO right yeah nobody's ever really this town is such a lie like my dad retired my mom retired yeah that's real retirement Midwest where they like are at home all day gardening or like they have a porch they my dad putes around the living room a lot he does a lot of putting you know a lot of ping doing laps around the ottoman yeah kind of honestly honestly but then retirement in La when someone's like oh yeah he retired and then they're working almost the exact same amount oh yeah on whatever side little things I think this business is sick and disgusting and it makes us feel like uh if you slow down or if you even quit you're dead you're dead and you are and that's true that's true and that's what's hard about it is that's not incorrect you slow down you die yeah that's what's hard like I mean the amount the amount of times I've talked to a therapist journaled about it commiserated with friends like if you SL down people might forget about you like that's not an unfounded fear like you're so you can't even really talk yourself down you have to be like okay take this time off and if it if your career takes it you know your health has to be more important you have to come at it from that angle you can't go no everybody's always going to want a slice of this like cuz they might not no they will well with someone as established as you I think you're probably in the clear I hate to say it to you when when did you feel established I don't what do you mean I'm still I'm if you don't why should I why I have a 23-year-old schmuck in here to help me keep this thing moving cuz no I don't feel I feel like the career is ever moving and Ever Changing and I think to make it palatable for people that are listening so it's not just business like in the career and that our listeners are in whatever your business is you do have to keep looking at it like I hope I keep moving through this and dynamically doing different things otherwise I will get we will get bored and burned out and that's I think is more threatening than if I take a break it's more I don't want to do the same thing all the time right like I so you know I'm going to Budapest in like two days uh or three days or something to go do this little thing and it's kind of out of the ordinary for me so I'm like I maybe this is rad it could absolutely suck you're filming something yeah but I I could be bad it could be bad but I whatever okay you just got to feel something I got to I want to feel it it is true it is like the dopamine hit of an addict of this business where you're like I want to try it because even if it's [ __ ] whatever I we did it and we tried and better than being like no way man i' straight stay on the straight and easy and the you know the this the thing I know will work every time so yeah well I mean I don't know if Hobbies you feel like that but I growing up getting to headline theaters was like all I ever dreamed of or wanted as a standup like oh I was like if I get to that point when I'm 40 that would be amazing and the boom that standup has had and the amount of us that are doing theaters now is incredible and it does I think leave a lot of people going oh so so we got here all all right and you want to make the most of it while you're selling tickets like this but yes also it's kind of like okay well what else is there there so that if and when this goes away or dips like what else have we got we got going what other plates can we got to have a hobby I mean Taylor do you have a hobby I have a lot of hobbies yeah you do yeah yeah like what uh I make uh little voodoo dolls out of wicker I've been doing that for about a month and a half I'm a white guy dude I golf I like golf I'm so where you get those little wicker dolls Color Me Mine is that where you getting those yeah color you yours I opened up a new shop color you make you your curse me mine yeah curse me mine I've been go I golf a lot I really like golfing uh I'm a big I'm getting more and more this is why I uh took this uh Budapest gig too was I was like I'm working harder on actually traveling and feeling and doing the thing going out in the city and soaking it up and doing the touristy thing and exploring new [ __ ] I'm trying harder to be like take a trip take a ride do the thing it's not just like gig gig gig home gig gig home cuz that is I mean that's what we do all the time you feel like you're like Hotel Club airport hotel club and it just feels a little monotonous so yeah I went to Big s with my younger sibling this last week for two days and I was like I Casino gigs should have done this longer it's so beautiful it's so gorgeous and it wasn't it just wasn't long enough cuz it takes you a day and a half to relax and I only let myself do it cuz I did a weird Casino gig like two days oh my gosh like an hour outside of Sacramento what's it called uh I can't remember I'm doing one called Frank wasn't that no it wasn't that and look they were lovely but it was so far out there I mean we did sound check and I was like so when people do this cuz a lot of people had done this casino cuz it's in California and I said when people do these shows do they always make jokes about how they think they're going to get murdered out here and they're like every single person every single person oh thought I was going to get murdered coming out here where are we and I was like okay noed like we won't we won't hit that I guess you're more likely to get murdered in a city that you've been to before that's big by the way yeah right totally small small town probably going to be real nice to you oh yeah real polite and sweet it was just driving I think when you're driving for a while and there's nothing yeah you get a little bit like just need a Shell station you know like the Hard Rock in Wheatland no no it wasn't no and and don't ever interrupt her story again and you know better than that that's insane that's two points off he's on a we on a point system it was uh it was Cash Creek Cash Creek Cash Creek and that's and they were lovely yeah I'm sure they they had two screens up yeah it was great and they were like they'd had like Chelsea and they'd had all kinds of people come through there yeah I mean because they're nice gigs you get to get in and get out you don't have to spend a lot of time you know that's the benefit are you not but you're not taking any hobby time for you outside of big big sir because since I've known you which you know I Haven known you a long time but you've always felt like you are a Workhorse yeah maybe much to your uh detriment health personal wise of like you're such a work person which is great but I'm like does she ever slow The Late Night Show down you know I really planned to before I got the late night job before I got that I planned to film my last special in November and then I was going to take like a couple months off and instead I went right from the special to prepping for The Late Night show because it just I look I never thought I was going to host any sort of show late night or otherwise like that was never something I wanted to do or or was trying to do and this was a very slow process over a few months of meetings where I just every person I met with I really liked and wanted to work with and then the schedule being Monday through Wednesday and being something that I could do standup and like I don't see standups very much right touring like you know you I don't have a podcast if I probably would have started a podcast if I hadn't start started hosting the show cuz I was like man I need to like talk to some people like I to see some people just spreading spreading peanut butter on toast like I should talk to people god well like I'm only in town like Monday and Tuesday and I'm so exhausted from the road like it's it's really given me sort of a schedule and made it so I can't be on the road for weeks at a time which is what I was doing cuz I was like well there's no point going home in between you know like that's makes me so sad I was well it was kind of s like I was going to move to San Diego I was like what am I doing in La like there's no point being here I'm too tired to do sets like I'm only here three days a month like what am I doing and then I got this job and now I'm like oh thank God like now I come home and I have a purpose in town yeah so you're going to stay in La even when the show is done yeah I mean I think Mark Wahlbergs House well no when the show's done I don't know when the show's done I'll probably get out of here I mean but we'll see like why haven't you left you know I'm upside down on my mortgage I uh my mortgage is 750,000 a month and it's really we bought we bought Mark Wahlberg's house did you ever see this by the way he how much was he selling his house for it was something hysterical and Beverly Hills wallberg put and this isn't a shot at him it's just like this is the how rich you can get in this business where you're like when you do when you're doing well you're like I feel good I'm doing well like I'm I'm really working working well and things are good and you see like he puts up his5 million 55 million oh my god oh the initial listing was 87.5 down to 55 what are we even talking about that's crazy what are we talking about 30,000 square foot 12 30,000 ft 20 bathrooms 6.2 Acres of State wait 12 bedrooms and 20 bathrooms yeah you got to have it you got to have it you got to have it got to have it I dude that's the kind of thing where you're like that's I I mean I mean whatever like I had heard a story about um oh look this up Ed McMahon you remember you know Ed McMahon of course for people that might may not know who that is he was um Johnny Carson's right-hand man and Ed I guess after all the money that they had made and all the success they had had with the Tonight Show Ed had made some poor financial decisions and he died bankrupt and they had to like foreclose his house is that what happened oh my gosh yeah it was crazy it was like in the Hollywood Hills but you're like Ed McMahon like the what the whoa what do you mean like they that show ran forever yeah I'm sure he Johnny was making sure he got paid very well you know and for a guy at that like level to have his house closed down what ended up happening did he file bankruptcy uh when when he when he died uh he was in debt for over uh 1.5 million dollar oh wow you're like that guy that's crazy that's what we're talking about you're like if that guy can go broke we can all go broke we can all go broke if if he can if the host of co-host of The Tonight Show can go broke the biggest show in television like late night history can go broke you're like well we're totally [ __ ] and he was making 5 million a year 5 million a year in the 70s what yeah which are quite some reports it's not some Reports say that can't be true really some reports New York Times New York Times New York Times New York Times are you questioning New York Times no I would never you got a lot of nerve dude that's wild to think that like that I guess that kind of financial weight does something to people where maybe they lose they just lose any sort of kind of typical spending habits and you just don't you just don't count for anything and you turn around and in 20 30 years you're like oh wow I guess I wasn't paying any attention you need a business manager he didn't have one for sure yeah yeah his business manager was Jack Daniels do you know those stories there's a lie we've told on this show before there's a a Hollywood lie that I think was debunked but that the reason we have cars that go to that take us to late night shows of the filming sets is because he drove home drunk one night from and crashed that's a it's that's a old Hollywood lore I want it to be true I mean but it's been passed around where it's like Car Service that's why we get car service cuz I yeah that I drive myself to self Drive day I self Drive every day because they you know they offered me a car and I was like you're alol and they all know everyone knows that about me but I I was like I don't I can drive myself it's fine and I was talking to some people at work about it like a few weeks ago and they were like well it's actually helpful to have you do the car service cuz then we know when you're on your way to set and I was like well good thing I've never I've never been late once like I'm so punctual and on time and I'm so terrified of making everyone late and like the late night schedule's crazy where you're like we if we are if I'm 10 minutes late like if I have to poop at the wrong time of day I will [ __ ] up the entire day and will be here an hour later filled with [ __ ] yeah exactly anxiety fueled filled with [ __ ] what's going on with Taylor is she okay just shaking at the desk oh my God double show Wednesdays no chance it's happening I'm a double show Wednesday and then Thursday I just sort of like unwind and I [ __ ] all day it's just the whole day day sh a day of [ __ ] every couple hours you're just clearing it out and on the fourth day she shot when did you buy your house I got I am in a new place now we I had to get out of my other place uh because it was haunted um I had to get out we actually did but I I got a new place and uh the clock is ticking I've got a uh we have a five-year contract oh I'm going to leave La in 5 years really yeah like your wife wants to leave in 5 years is both do I think we both yeah I think it's like uh uh tip of the hat like thank you you know we did our time here you know what I mean I'm almost like I I feel kind of like I feel like Brooks from Sha Shank Redemption where it's like I got to get out of here you know what I mean and I'm afraid of the real world I'll probably kill myself somewhere else but Sano was here but I feel like I'm almost I'm almost I'm I'm holding myself captive here like they let me off like I'm out I'm on parole but I still keep going back because I'm used to it so we did a 5-year um agreement with one another one night where we were like I think this is 5 years and then we're done do you know where you want to go yeah we've set a million different places and I couldn't really pinpoint it yet um Colorado has always been kind of we come back to it often um I was just talking to some the other night I guess Rory scoville's moving to he's gone yeah or he already moved yeah I told him I said get get out get out of here I was like good for him that's great good for us too I don't want him around anymore to be honest no he had a little going away party and I yeah I'm I'm sad to lose another person uh like they're dead but they are dead to me I mean you leave here you're dead you know it's no one exists outside of LA to me personally that's a fact that is right including our families now I don't know I just feel like I want to I've said this before but if I feel like growing up Midwest you'd always meet these guys like my dad would introduce me to this couple and it'd be like yeah this is Sheila That's Mike Sheila Works in uh you know in marketing advertising and Mike is a sales rep for you know those like clips for belt buckles he worked for this of a real job well they're not they're not been here too long you can't you can't think of one works regular job in the midwest it's all it's all it's all uh uh Insurance all of it okay it's all state is there and state this Mike has an Etsy store I don't know I can't remember he makes fake teeth but they do have weird in the midwest there they do they all have sales jobs that are obscure like right yeah I do um you know the the you know the YKK zippers I'm I'm that I'm that it's always something that you're like I guess I do need those yeah all the time yeah you're like oh sh velcro you make velcro uh but every time I'd meet these people they always kind of had these stories when I was a kid of like yeah they lived in St Paul for a long time then they had to move um to Albany because her job took them there and then and I feel like my story has been kind of pretty linear and I was like I think it might be time to take out a new chapter I think it's time I think it's time before this book gets dusty and nobody wants to [ __ ] read it I was like I might as well go to another location to feel something else yeah I Kelsey Cook love that yeah I was talking to uh Kelsey earlier Kelsey cook and the cookster right cuz she moved cuz she moved to Minneapolis and you guys aren't friends anymore heard you guys are yeah you know what's so funny is cuz she moved in during covid back to Washington and then moved from there to Minneapolis uh like a year ago or maybe beginning of this year and so she hasn't been in La for a while and you wouldn't know the difference because she's always on the road she's always working nobody's like oh I heard Kelsey let like nobody even realized she was gone they're like yeah you live in LA like and that's the thing that makes you go what am I doing out here like her leaving was a was a big thing for me where I was really considering going somewhere else cuz I was like well if nobody's gonna think I'm a quitter or if like if I'm still working just as hard and I still come out here to do sets like who cares where I live and I mean yeah she and Chad have like such a great great place in Minneapolis and like Delan and I went to go visit them and I was like oh man this is like a real home yck it made you sick a little bit yeah I was like this is like a real place and like that Airport's so great and you're just like man you're in the middle of the country like your 2 and 1 half hour flight from everything like it's really I mean I've certainly considered it in in moments where I'm like where else could I live I'm like many like that makes a lot of sense in the winter no in the winter that's and that's what that's what snaps me back to reality yeah she moved there in the win during the winter she's the bravest person I know W she really loves that guy yeah that's real love he's a really good comedian yeah that's that's why you go she doesn't really like him she just likes that he's a really talented comedian I don't really like him but man is he talented bad kiss I don't care how much I loved someone I wouldn't move somewhere that cold unless they were also really talented that's and and old you want someone old he's not old you want some you want someone old someone old yes I feel like you need an old man an old wife I can see you pushing around a guy in a wheelchair can you yes yeah you're just picking up on my control issues that's all you're like you just seem like you need to know where someone is all the time and be the one who wield them there that's what you feel like to me you stay and watch TV Jim you stay right there in here we pour whis whis hey I just got back from the islands and Viator I was happy to use V VOR loved it so very much I've talked about vator a bunch on this show VOR is a tool you can use to plan and book travel experiences all around the world uh via tour the app and the website make it easy to explore over 300,000 plus travel experiences so you can discover what's out there no matter where you're traveling or what you're interested in doing I did a hike a little hike getaway an ATV uh Excursion rented a Jeep and did some off-roading uh snorkel scoas they got all sorts of fun stuff uh it ranges depending on where you're going um but I had so much fun and thank you to VOR for helping out they have free cancellation would help it helps you plan for the unexpected you don't know what's going to happen on vacation it might just rain your kid might get sick your might your wife might be like I don't want to do that today okay I want to sit by the beach uh but with 300,000 plus travel experiences to choose from you got so much stuff on your plate they got 247 customer service so you know you'll get support at any hour if things aren't going as plannned uh real traveler reviews I love this you could read people that did what you're considering doing so you can go oh that actually does sound like something I'm interested in had I read about the Jeep off-road Excursion before I did it would I have done it yes and the reviews said the same they're like you can't you it's so much fun will you flip it I don't know I hope not uh download the Viator app now and use the code vior 10 for 10% off your first booking in the app download that Viator app right now use that code Viator 10 for 10 10% off your first booking in the app find travel experiences for you do more with Viator Are you single Ginger I like gingers are you single right now yeah I'm single right now and well you're not you're not out fishing you're not doing the thing [ __ ] no I no I got dumped a couple months ago and so I was like hold let's give it up for that real fast no no that is that's important for getting dumped a couple months ago thank you so much getting dumped is I feel like you haven't been dumped a lot I mean I don't know I haven't I think my last two relationships I got dumped no I think I did cuz I dated somebody and then like a year I kind of yeah I think I did I think I got not and dumped is kind of like a strong word cuz I don't I feel like dumped is so harsh and like this last one like you know she broke up with me cuz I work too much and she's like I just need somebody more like available and I was like that is so [ __ ] Fair like I am the busiest I've ever been in my life um so I I don't really feel like dumped is an accurate thing to say cuz it makes the other person sound like they just went [ __ ] bye when really it was just someone going like oh this isn't really what I need and that's unfortunate and me going that's I honestly good for you um but then the the guy dated before that I think no I think he like he was like going through some stuff and he ended it so I mean yeah I Army Hammer right you're with Army Hammer going something you know I didn't I was like I you can't eat that part um and have you seen him doing interview he's like doing interviews no he's like doing interviews right like like 60 Minutes yes I think he did Pierce Morgan right he's like yeah he's like he's like it was taken out of context like he was like I don't I don't I didn't watch them all people Piers Morgan by the way yeah I was like I don't know what what he's doing I don't know if he has like a project coming out you really biting people I think that's I think that's actually what it was yeah because because the world is a rights itself the joke of the world rights itself now because of the trumpan era we've lived through now comedy is so it's just so every everything writes itself now where you're like yep everything is I see how this is of course he goes on Pierce Morgan so Pierce can be like can teeth really chew you know what I mean like they they'll do a breakdown of like breaking bones with teeth the interview is titled are you a cannibal and are you cannibal oh my gosh hour and 20 minutes and Pi Morgan has a thumbnail on YouTube minutes Pi Morgan uncensored he puts a thumbnail on YouTube like this like and he's eating your [ __ ] arm you know to get clicks are you really a cannibal oh my God that's so funny with guest host chef Bobby fle Bobby can you cook can you cook people so dumb dude the time stamps are also what made Hammer cheat on his wife question mark right I like it they leave it like yeah we're begging for it the world is a big bit of itself but you said this you went you just said guy before that girl after that are you are you look do you ever are you looking based on like Flavor of the time of the year or are you just play for the time of the year like the type of person I go for it depends on the season yeah is it seasonal are you like I want a dude I'm like this is a I want a dude for the summer I want a chick for the Dating winter no I think cuz I've tried to get there but he won't he just won't you oh sorry about that got to stay straight I guess well you can't that's an employee man you got to be you I don't pay him oh you don't oh well you know never mind then hey go for it everybody pays me in other ways well now I've walked into something spanking um yeah no I I I took like a year where I just didn't date at all and then I dated this girl for 6 months and she's lovely and amazing and like you know now I'm kind of like is that the first girl you ever bu it was the first girl I've been in a relationship with and so I was like I don't know I just I think after that I was like I am too busy like I've I've never been I've never thought I was too busy to be in a relationship before and this past year I was like now I really am like when you're on the road you're like I'm busy and you're like but I have Mondays Tuesdays Wednesdays pretty free like all day and now I I really don't have any days off and I think dating me was probably a nightmare and I think like just was a very patient lovely person to even hang in there as long as she did um but yeah I just I'm kind of like with what time am I gonna go on dates right now you know like where am I I'm so jealous of you like married people I'm like I should have I should have gotten married before I got so busy yeah cuz we don't go on dates anymore either yeah but you don't have to you're locked in you know but I can't I'm like I have one day off this week and I got to do vocal rest like I can't go on a weird date with someone from Rya you know well you could you could and do something where he doesn't involve talking go see a movie together you never had to be on Ria huh you've been married for a long time yeah no r no I've never never did app also I've see the apps through like him or Bobby and people will show me the apps um and they're really uh they're tough man yeah well they look stupid they look dumb no they don't Bobby on yeah Bob's Bob on yeah he got kicked off hinge for lying about his age did he really yeah he did yeah he got banned right and what and then he was on Tinder for a while I mean he got banned on most he got banned on a few for lying about your age yeah how much was he lying I think he said he was 40 no he was 36 I think 30 something yeah and then people would like report him well he's on Wikipedia say2 But do is that how you get banned is you go on dates and then those people are like that's no not even on dates I think people just flag your profile being like this guy's saying he's 36 he was just on hinge hinge Rya Tinder he did all see but that's the thing is because if you do like hinge or something people are like is this really you that's the thing they probably thought it was fake yeah they probably flagged him cuz they thought it but also he was just I mean I think he went through a tough breakup and he just wanted people to talk to right he didn't date really anybody from any of the apps he went on like very minimal amount of dates I think like from the apps maybe two people maybe maybe that's what the apps are for they're for conversation an ego boost yeah you just want to feel good you just want to feel good cuz when when you're out in the world you don't really know when people think you're attractive but that's what dating apps let you do is you get to go on and see oh that person saw you and went yeah and that's all it is is I just walk up to people on the street I go good yes am I good am I okay am I good thumbs up yeah thumbs up little heart walk away like that left or right swipe on me yeah swipe me live tell me how you really feel no but that you know I think you're Time you you have to take time for you I sound like a dad but it's like but you deserve you deserve love and relationship if you want it if you want it I do want it but I just don't have time and it's it really is that like what's the What's the phrase make make okay while the sun shines is that what it is it's almost that you know I don't know I don't know Mom what the [ __ ] is Che in the bird is better than one in the bush in the hand make hay when the sunshines make when the sunshines it's like you got to and it's show business is like that right where you got to like really you know make the most of the opportunities while they're I get it here for you cuz you know you go through Peaks and valleys and you never know when your time's up your time is not up look at how much you short amount of time I me you I know but I'm I'm 30 and you know it's all boy I know and they all and once you hit whatever age they'll be like well now get the [ __ ] off television like you just all that shit's in your head I think I we know that's not true right if we look at examples of talented people yeah you know there's so many people I love it you're like couldn't find one there so many talented people well it's weird because as we don't have to name them as I thought it I thought this becomes now an AIS conversation of yeah you can't be you can't be saying like well but you've seen XYZ yeah you can't do that well I'll tell you uh you know people like who do you admire whose Who do you admire career would you be like I would that's kind of what I would like to end up having in the longest run I don't know because I used I used to say when I was younger I was like I just want to be Brian rean like I just want to tour theaters like I want starting to look like him if I'm being yes finally I was like Brian Regan Kathleen Madigan like just touring theaters just off of standup purely like that would be sick but then I got there and now I'm doing other stuff so now I I don't really know oh man I should I should have an answer for this no you don't have I don't have I don't have one so I don't you don't have one oh thank God no I don't I have no idea I I I don't have a I just know what I would like to get to do I yeah like I would like to do certain things I go well that would be nice to do like what do you want to do I would really love to make uh an Indie comedy that I get to star in with someone else and like but it's ours we write it we made it like that's a dream of mine I know that sounds like it's like we'll just do it it's like well there's a lot of [ __ ] pieces to that it's expensive it's super hard to get together and it's just really difficult to do but that that you know kind of like um why am I losing it bottle rocket bottle rocket bottle rocket Anderson M yeah yeah it's like that was very like core old Indie where where friends are doing favors and and so many talented people before they really exploded and I really Pine for that because I'm nowhere [ __ ] near the Marvel like I'm never going to be in those things I don't really Pine for big motion picture there's a lot in between Marvel and Bottle Rock I don't know if you been to the movie theater Lady it's either Marvel movies or [ __ ] horror films there was nothing no that's not true I mean oh my god did you see babes babes was great with Michelle bhau and Alana Glazer that movie was great but that's not indie though too no it's not that's what I'm saying it's in between yeah those get to sneak they get to sneak in yeah there's there but rarely I mean can you name another one I mean I see a lot of stuff I mean this was this was more Indie I guess did you see uh I saw the TV glow no that was really good that was like an a24 did you see it it was really good it's yeah it's really good just there's not a lot of like old school Babes at 38 comedy oh yeah like old school comedy Indie I don't know but even babes at a $3.8 million budget which is still pretty low that's so low they did that for 3.8 it's still it's still say that's crazy CU I'm like trying to get stuff made and they're like we can't do it for under 10 million and you're like yes you can you totally can well they could they just don't want to that's what they really should say is I don't want to do it I can't believe they made that for 3.8 million I thought that movie was so good but that's the thing is like these things are really difficult to get through and they need very very big names behind it I know so that's the thing it's like I so I'm thinking we'll make something we'll Finance it we'll lose a bunch of money on it and just make something fun and and you have to be in it well now I do I only if you do my show I'll do the oh I wasn't available those weeks yeah [ __ ] whatever I I wanted to yeah I go back to work I'm like Sano he really wants to do it they're like he [ __ ] ghosted us he's never responded once true no that's not true I did uh I think they did try to have me and Bobby on once that'd be great yeah but you know how hard it is to get him to do the show that we do together let alone doing someone else's show together like it's the hardest it's like so comical that I'm like what day are you available that we can do it he's like I can't I can't so that was the biggest thing and then at some point I we went back to your your people and said I don't think we'll be able to do it together just because it's hard to he's impossible you have to come from the podcast we You' have to day we would have to pretend that we're going to the podcast and I would just take him to the studio that would be the only way to trick him and be like there's no boo afterwards you know would have to like make it a thing he's impossible he sleeps till 3: you tape at probably what 4 yeah yeah tough and you got to be there at like 1:30 to prep oh boy good luck he'll come in immediately he'll go I'm so tired he'll do that right away when we film before noon it's I mean it's like waking up a 9-year-old for school he like he complains the entire time yeah I've Never filmed before noon in the year you've never been with us before year and a I work with you guys it's really sad yeah yeah it's impossible good luck I don't know how sometimes uh people have his class of comics they're so set in their ways it's like no no that's I don't do that that's right and it's been that way because it was that way in the business for a long time and people were like he doesn't do that yeah right we're of the generation of like you better do it they'll fire I'm kind of like when do I get to be she doesn't do that level is it now yeah you're there 100% oh I hope so but you're never going to use it I that's power you won't use I mean I don't know I definitely I think when you have a good standup career it makes it easier to sort of set boundaries in other areas sure of your career because you go like well I have this thing to go back to if this doesn't work out like right or this thing I just keep doing because it's the thing I like the first it's the first thing you loved anyway yeah exactly so it's almost like Tak the pressure off of everything else you're like oh it doesn't get made okay to say I don't think I can I it's just Women in Hollywood it's easier to be like I don't know if that's going to work for me yeah but you're not that kind of person I know I feel like you're a sucker you say yes I am a sucker sucker dude what is that it's hard cuz when you're like not to be like women in Hollywood but like when you're a woman and if you're like oh I don't do that then everyone's like she's a [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah you know what I mean well who says that me no not you I do that is what I say no no no I just like I feel like you hear a lot of stories about uh like sort of women in this business and then you're like what did they do and they're like they just said they couldn't come in at that time and you're like [ __ ] okay like it's just you just hear I just hear way more but I honestly I hear stories about people are so quick to tell you who's an [ __ ] yeah and they're always doing it in a way of like you're different like anytime you get some sort of job anytime you do a venue they're like you know who wasn't good and you're like okay don't tell me but also tell me but but also I don't want to be an example for the next person who comes in at another venue great well no but if I go to another venue and I'm like someone doesn't think I'm that funny I don't want the next person who comes in that week for them to be like you were hilarious you know and you know who wasn't like you just know you're going to be on the other side of it at some point and the same thing with like yeah just any sort of job they like actors are the worst like I'm sure you get that all the time like well they are just and they look you've met them they're the worst fu that's I know standups who act are not actors no no not no no well cuz those people it's their job yeah I'm I'm playing dress up yeah I'm really it's for me it really it's like a the greatest I get to you know it's I'm putting on my mom's shoes and walking around the house and making her laugh that it's that thing from when you're a kid and you're like look at me and big people clothes people like get the camera he's got the big people clothes off that's how I feel when I act it's like a little kid wearing parents mom and dad's clothes as for a bit to entertain Grandpa and that's really sweet that's really what it feels like to me that's so nice because it's I'm not good enough for it to be a um I have to take this serious I no that's that's not why I do I do it because I want it should be fun yeah because I'm not a career uh actor because those people it's their actual life and their job and their artistic worth yeah where it's like yeah dude [ __ ] yeah do that I'm I want to be a poke in goofball right and then get the [ __ ] out and go you know say stupid stuff on stage but I do think the uh the the he or she is an [ __ ] stories you hear from every side like you hear all of it now and that's why when I do a venue like when we do venues and we leave after the theaters like me I'm like thank you guys so much and I leave as fast as we can right I'm like thank you guys so goodbye and I'm out the door cuz I'm like I don't even want to annoy them can't give anyone a story I don't want to annoy them I don't want them to be like dude don't take a picture on the thing please I don't want that I get the [ __ ] out too long yeah yeah I don't do we just get out as fast we really do we leave like no Trace when we leave the venues when we're together on tour it's like we clean up and we quietly leave and say thank you to like four people yeah as fast as we can depart yeah so they can only go it was a smooth show yeah even if they hated it and they were like those guys I didn't their comedy sucks at least they'll go H they in and out I don't know I don't really yeah it's kind of nice that's a good approach honestly yeah we're cuz I don't want to be the Cook Unity guy who's there chumming it up no and then you find out you know no cuz they're at work everyone wants to go home yeah they want to go back to their fames they want to go home everyone wants to go home yeah in here we pour whiskey whiske recently I was a little hungry and I wanted to get myself some chicken parmesano and the restaurant that I used to go to uh is not in my new neighborhood obviously I moved and it was closed when I wanted to get it by the time it was going to get to me I was bummed out so thank God for cook Unity cook Unity is the first Chef to you service delivering locally sourced meals from award-winning chefs right to your door every 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delivered right to your door go to cook unity.com whiskey or enter the code whiskey before checkout for 50% off your first week that's so good that's 50% off your first week by using Code whiskey or going to cook unity.com whiskey man I like smelling good and thanks to Mando you can too all right I travel a lot I don't know what I'm packing a lot of times I'm like what am I going to take I'm going to take this kind of face wash and this body lotion this body wash and this kind of cologne this kind of deodorant and all this stuff I never know what to throw in the bag and thank God Mando has me covered all right simplify travel with Mando's 4 in1 acidified cleansing bar all right it's a 5 O Bar that does the work of shampoo face wash body wash and deodorant oh what what what what you could also use it to create a rich shaving lather h i don't love to shave that much cuz look at this old beardy weirdy but uh technically it's a 5 in one it's clinically proven to control odor for 24 hours that's a full day a full day you can't get that out of whatever else you using I promise mandoos 4-1 acidified cleansing bar is formulated with a gentle Alpha hydroxy acid that stops odor at the source it says hey hey let me see your ID order you can't come in here you're too stinky regular soap just can't do that cuz the pH is way too high okay sometimes the pH is too high and that's a no good that's a no good ask your doctor that's no good uh you can get it in three cologne quality Cents by the way mountain Fuji fresh and woodsy I like it so much bourbon leather sweet and sophisticated like you're reading a book huh and Pro Sport is clean citrusy crispy uh gy bound perhaps maybe the way to say uh but Mando's whole body deodorant is incredible created by a doctor uh Mando's made here in The UU USA baking soda free aluminum Free Die Free crueltyfree vegan they got all the goods lined up why not try it out what are you doing I love it smells oh so good luckily I got a discount code to help you get hooked up for my favorite smelling whole body deodorant on the market new customers can get $5 off a starter pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your starter pack by the way use code whiskey at m.com that's s h o p m n d o.com Ginger I that's interesting I I want to do MAA shows like Bari gets to do that God he does like a 4m. it's [ __ ] rad yeah he also does like four shows in one Arena like I mean we can't true I be like yeah we're all like Nate like no he's a fing God he also has a he has found the greatest audience of people that do want to go see daytime like those MAA shows yeah that is really tough for most Comics to even find that's a tough audience think oh I think a lot of people want Mata shows now really yeah I think since I think people no one wants to be out super late like and I mean I say MAA I mean like you know 4 or something like it's pretty early yeah but I think on a weekend like I would love to go to stuff at like 4 and then you it puts so much uh there's so much less pressure on you as a comedian then cuz like they can still Salvage the night after that like they could come see you and then they could go get dinner if they're like yeah she wasn't really as good as I wanted her to be let's go to Olive Garden you know like there's still there still always as good as I wanted to be we buy my dad uh Olive Garden gift cards every year for his birthday and for Christmas because that's all he wants that's so nice yeah I get him a $100 gift card and he's like this is going to last me like two months he gets really excited all he ever wants that's the only he likes he doesn't want anything he doesn't want like a creative gift he's like please don't do that just give me a gift card to a place I like to eat at by myself on Wednesdays that's really I mean that's beautiful that's beautifully Midwest is finest dude so much yeah he will say that he'll go this's the best Italian food I've ever had I'm like oh that's good for you man I was going to say though about Nate like Nate's such a good example of someone where you're like that's why you keep pushing and why you keep doing the road so much cuz like look at what he's been able to do I mean he's also like one of the best Comics alive so there's that but like oh my God like can you even imagine selling them any tickets and being that like I can't even no it won't happen for me so I don't imagine it at all but like that's someone who like has just worked the road so hard for years and has like hit this level that you built an audience organically in the same right though you did almost the same thing yeah I'm just not as I'm just not as good uh well people just like you less that's all no no you're done Arenas ever no we were The Hour going to um this time last year my team was like you need to do Arenas next tour and I was like I don't want to and they're like you really you really need to do it and I was like okay and so we had them like kind of routed and then I had all this health stuff happen and at the beginning of the year I was like I'd been like sick for months and I was like Hey guys like I don't know how my Health's going to be later this year and uh I'm learning how to be a late night host I think that's like for one year and like the hour I'm doing right now is like very personal it's like a lot about growing up in church and like you know coming out and [ __ ] so I was like this is not like an arena hour I was like maybe next time so instead I'm doing like just more shows in theaters like you know putting up two at a time and stuff growing up in church and coming out that's what it's going to be called the hour growing up in church and coming out great yes but you people they're like it's too long I'm like I don't think it is if you came out at church which I do think is a bold choice if you're going to do it you might as well do it might as well do it in the eyes I started doing stand up in church so I was like let's just talk it's every [ __ ] that's every interview people talk to me about it so I was like let's talk about it for 30 minutes in hour you know like it's something I was ignorant to I had no idea I didn't know you were uh I didn't know you dated a lady but also what do I know what do I know I don't I really don't I mean it's like I don't I'm sure you don't have notifications turned on for my Instagram or anything can I be honest I turned them off yeah of course I would you're muted as a matter of fact no I just don't keep up enough to know stuff socially like someone will tell me something like you know who's dating who or who's R yeah but I've never I've never been somebody that people know that stuff about I feel like do you want it to be more known or you don't you know you want to keep it private like who I'm dating no I just mean like I'm not like around very much and we like it that way I'm sure look hey you kidding me I wish The O I could see you more I wish I saw you at the store I wish I saw you at the clubs like it'd be good for a for theity because you're very you're very loved and it' be good for comedy but I get not well I I I love the O like the O is like my favorite it's the best it's my favorite place to go up um but because I'm doing the show during the week I like I just have to sleep which is like the only days I could go up would be Mondays and Tuesdays and if I do I'll be in like full hair and makeup it'll be weird like you know I don't know I just like so you'll look I mean it'll be better for the photos there's photographer at every show in La I hate it so much I mean they're all very talented talented people but this a very trumpy end they're very talented all of them are talented I was just losing I was just losing my breath I was talking too long and losing my breath and that's all you need to do Trump um no everyone's very talented but like I I really miss like back in the day when you'd like go do like the Improv in the store in the Laugh Factory and just look like dog [ __ ] and there was no record of it but you got to put on Instagram these are the shows I'm doing and then everyone goes whoa and but no one saw that you wore a hoodie and looked like [ __ ] it was you I've never seen you look like [ __ ] by the way we were on a lot of Laugh Factory lineups together I feel like when I was really looking like [ __ ] like on purpose like trying to look like [ __ ] not trying just like you know I think 10 years ago it was like still kind of the thing of like oh you're not supposed to be trying to look pretty on stage like you're not supposed to be trying to look like good so I think everybody was kind of like let's put on a hoodie and like you know look down to earth or whatever like I'm just here like I don't know it's just me came from a coffee shop exactly I luckily have always been a t-shirt and jean jeans guy so it's literally never changed yeah I I wouldn't bring purses to clubs because I didn't want to look like uh someone's girlfriend and so I and to this day I don't carry a purse cuz it just that's the only place yeah you didn't bring a purse in here no I have a boat bag but I I do like a a cross body or a backpack or so you don't own any purses you do you must I don't think I do actually [ __ ] wild no I mean I cuz I was always going to comedy clubs and if I brought a purse a where do you put it and B people thought I was someone's girlfriend anyway usually or like someone's kid probably like nobody was like whose Child is This yeah nobody was like that's a comedian like when I was 22 or whatever so yeah I think that's why it sort of just became a thing I didn't isn't that gross that those things did that did did that to us that this this thing does a thing to us where I'll cognizantly go over like what you know like like I'll be out somewhere and be like I can't wear this shirt later on stage why that's insane yeah that's who I am people will but people will comment on it is the thing like cuz you know you'll get there and everyone will go oh shirt like that guy huh what's that like is that a buttonup you're going to go on stage like that like you had a business lunch yeah that's right and they just yeah you can't we're ruined we can't yeah no if I if I like leave my hair down people be like I didn't recognize you and you're like that feels like a weird thing to say up top and then you go on stage and you're like everyone can tell like I don't know it's just yeah you're so in your own head about how you're coming across on stage and again it's not it's not untrue like people are assessing you very quickly when you walk on stage and if you're wearing something weird people are going to take note of it so yeah they're going to go what the [ __ ] is that the what is that I don't like that on her or you're going to be uncomfortable and they're going to pick up on that right yeah they can see through that every single time stand up so hard it sucks it's so hard should we quit well no it's the best though all right where are you at uh like right now like are you getting ready to film another special or you like I'm going to go on tour and film another special yes I tour from September until February you tour from October uh we announced just up until I think we announced through March we I love that about you it's a whole it's a whole team I know it is are you going to so you're going to film in February or well no I don't know when I'm going to film I don't know when I'm going to film but I'm going to film next year but I'm touring through February and then I'll make a decision when I kind of but you're like this is the hour this is it this is it and it's bad but we're doing it you think it's bad okay you're like it's an hour it's not even an hour yeah I think I do 26 minutes and then I'm just kind of like what's everyone else doing how was everyone's day what's up balcony no I got that's a new hour that I yeah no it has been fun I've been working on it a million different ways too so I've you know there's pieces of it that I don't know if they'll ever make it in there right which is kind of wild because you're like I really like it but I'm like I don't know if I want to put that on there right but that's kind of The Sweet Spot to see you on tour right like this is this is the best time to see us on tour cuz we're probably over sharing a little bit oh yeah and it's right before we rain it in yeah and then it goes you know on Netflix or whatever and then you see the thing and you go where's that one bit that was from remember when we were in Buffalo and they that was your best bit yeah exactly you do that one and I'm like well cuz I value my relationships with the people in my life that's why I cut that one out I'm doing it on Hulu oh you're one of the Hulu ones I switched nice wow okay they got a good got a good batch going Netflix uh was good is good for a lot of people and we just had to go another route not you huh they don't like me I'm actually here on behalf of Netflix we want we want you back C all right dude well write a check uh no I think the Hulu relationship was just a great new thing that came across and it was like we're doing an animated show with them and it was just like oh this is a perfect yeah little harmonious thing so it's on Hulu or is it on Hulu and Disney plus I don't well in 2025 Hulu's Global so it'll be across all their platforms which is kind of cool the first time they'll be able to compete with Netflix on a global scale cuz now they're only available in the continental US I don't I actually don't think I think they might be just the states they might not be like I think they were in North America at one point they had a deal and then they lost it and now now they'll be in every country CU you see the numbers Netflix is like we're in every country yeah and these other platforms are like we're in like three right right right right and you're like wow that's so [ __ ] it's weird but so they go Global and so they're doing one special a month so every month is one stand W yeah one a month yeah and they've announced a pretty fair amount of them it was like Burr Sebastian gaffan Osco right yep otco uh Roy Wood Jr Jessica Kiren Mato me yeah that's killer Co Netflix did that for a while the one a month one a month yeah yeah they were doing that for a bit Yeah and unless you're someone of your status uh a lot of people get buried which is kind of tough about the internet where like you're a high value comedian to them because of your success and your audience and like you're a big name that they want to stay up well they you know they really like built me in a way like you know they did take a chance of me so I'm like I don't know if I ever can leave like loyalty yeah I mean I have another one with them set up uh so I'm definitely doing the next one with them but no you should you should because you are kind of like a it's an asset it's a great partnership and a lot of other Comics you know it's hard it's sometimes you're in the mix of other things so I think that's why a few people people want were like I think we'll try something else to see if that works yeah totally I mean and I feel like between HBO Amazon now Hulu Netflix like there's great specials on yeah all those platforms no yeah it doesn't really matter people will find it if they find it I mean I thought about I thought about PornHub for a while but they didn't want to offer me enough money are you naked in it meeting with one of the PornHub guys by the way you know where the PornHub the PornHub guys definitely they they certainly meet you at like Air1 or something for the meeting we get a salad bar it's that classic yeah yeah they are yeah it's it's like trash class do you go to Air1 no I I'm not allowed to you're not allowed to no just cuz my ego my ego is like this place is disgusting oh yeah no it's I can't be dude I can't do this this is absurd I don't I I'm okay with getting ripped off in certain ways living in California I'm okay with getting ripped off mean it's beautiful here yeah we're we Sunshine tag yeah I'm okay with overpaying for gas I'm I'm okay with like overpaying in life where you're like it's a part of it but at that like deliberately going to a grocery store where they're like that's a $76 salad you're like no unless you're like a big smoothie guy unless you're like my whole personality is a different kind of smoothie come on dude we got a Blend Tech at the house I'm big into making a smoothie are you yeah I like to every few days my wife makes them every day and we try to change ingredients to see but there's test days where there it's not good God I want to be married so bad and there's test days but you know like to mix it up a little can't just do chia seeds every day you got to throw a couple blueberries yeah it's peach season by the way I don't know if you know this we been peaching lot a lot of peaches oh man yeah no here's what married is marriage is um this is the this this that is one of those Advantage moments where you're like this is a stupid thing that I wouldn't do alone yeah that you can do for fun with someone else that makes it that makes something monotonous fun yeah where you try something together and you're like oh this is so [ __ ] gross yeah like this is so bad but should we finish it just because but alone you're you can't but then the other side of it is you wake up some days maybe you don't want to eat with somebody that's true and look when but is there is a sadness to making a gross smoothie and you're alone and there's no one to go oh this didn't pan out and you just have to go and dump it by yourself clean clean the cup and then just not even try it again and just get one hard boil egg and go to work that's so sad that's what I EA a single hardboiled egg in the car I'm so scared of having any sort of stomach issue at work that every day all I eat is uh like hard-boiled egg whites and avocado and like that's it until the show's over cuz I'm so afraid of having some sort of issue and got be honest that sounds like a a a fart Builder that hardw eggs and avocado no I mean maybe because I'm doing egg whites does that sound like do avocado make you fart eggs for sure oh really Rudy toti every time I have eggs hardboiled eggs no no for you he doesn't eat eggs he's not allowed to I think you're allergic I am is that why I turn blue I know I don't have that yeah every time I eat eggs I can't breathe for like 45 minutes my my tongue gets really itchy and swollen it's but I love eggs yeah those are the moments where like there are admittedly there are those days when you're like it is nice to eat alone but if you say to your partner I kind of want to go get a coffee by myself they're like oh okay yeah you're like oh no no that's not because of you right I'm just a weirdo I like because we're Comics a lot of times Comics are like I'd like to just talk to my own head for an hour or two yeah it's really feels good I just want to be on my phone like well we can be on our phones together it's like no we can't we I need to be in a different room over here yeah I I for years I was so scared of being single and like the last couple years I've really come to be some someone who I'm like I don't know if I can live with someone again like I really like that's funny you will 100% man I really like I weirdly I really like being single and I I'm like someone really cool has to come by they will to get you're cool enough that you're vibrating you're just open and vibrating someone will go I need to be near that cool thing we'll see about that I don't know ah you're red you're going to have it come if you want it by the way and if you don't I get it sometimes that's like I have friends who are like N I have zero interest in that I wanted I just kind of want it to be like I just want to be like quick and easy the way people talk about it where they're like w when it's easy and you know you know I want like that [ __ ] but I'm like that's not real yeah that's fake it's fake you got to work at it it's all work I know it's it's all it's all fun arguments it's a lot of uh I'm sorry I said it that way it's a lot of that I'm sorry I said it that way it's not I said something mean or rude it's I'm sorry I said it that way oh okay yeah cuz you didn't I didn't need to say it like that yeah why is that unlocked I didn't even say it like that you could just go oh did you leave it unlock did you want it unlocked I'll lock it it could be that yeah there's a million ways to do it but it's in when you're with someone long enough you say things in a way on accident that you know better that you're like I don't need to say it like that that was mean right sorry I said that that's it's a lot of that like yeah see in alone in my apartment I can say anything I want any way I want do you have animals no I I don't I that'd be cruel you could have a cat to have an animal even a cat I'm not home enough dude cats don't need you there then why would I get one because when you are home you're like hey and then you give it a couple of pets you talk to it a little bit but it would like barely even like me that's right but that's that's what I'm saying I'd rather just come home and know nobody's peed on anything right and that's why you don't want to be in a relationship yeah kind of they will I love coming home where there's nothing's been peed on and everything's where I left it mhm and all the hair is mine all the hair is mine all the hair is mine the actual name of your next special all the hair is mine so now now after this tour is this another special you're going to film yeah but we probably won't film it till the we'll probably tour until like the end of next year and like sh end of next year and and then maybe I'll take a break I don't know I won't cuz I just now that I have this hour I'm like well who knows what what else I have to say after this like well you're just such a worked person that's so funny cuz that's how I know you as in my mind where you we used to live in the same neighborhood um and you'll never know where and I always thought I should shoot her a text to see if she wants to get a coffee CU I would go to a coffee shop near your house but I never wanted to bother you because I feel like you are a worked person that's so funny cuz I again that comes back to me not wanting to say hey come do the show because I'm like he's busy he doesn't want to do that's so annoying we should just do it but I am afraid in fact I drove past an old friend's house today day I drove by an old friend who lives near Paramount on Melrose and I said I'll shoot him a text I'll shoot him a text I'm like a like a it's it's like like a like an old relationship for some reason like someone I dated I'm like is that is that a big deal and then I started to type the text at a stop light and then I didn't send it cuz you got scared I just was like What if he's like what's up what because we don't talk that much anymore right not in a bad way yeah but I just was like What if he's like [ __ ] what what also I read the last thing he responded and I did you forgot did you forget to respond to the last no no no no his response of what I had said was uh hope you're good Yer hope you're good and I was like but is that just how he talks no this is what dating is like by the way this is what app dating is like you're like they can't spell your like you're looking for any reason but why felt like uh well you're good like a I mean am I reading into it I think you're reading into it and that's just how he texts and that's his journey that's that's his issue to deal with like all right someone think that's quirky and fun I thought it meant a I felt it as like a you don't need to text me anymore oh no if someone didn't want you to text them anymore they would either just like your message or not respond I think the like the message part is tough like the message liking messages has revolutionized ow texting cuz now you don't have to send the last weird text you can close up a conversation by loving a message if you like the person and you like it if you don't like the person or you're kind of mad at them or you're just like we're done here but if you love it that's like we're done talking but I still really like you that's right yeah and but when you hear it yeah and you see the thumb and it's like well yeah I guess I'll I mean it's great look it's great to hear that other people are overanalyzing I think because I'm so busy and I'm so bad at responding to texts now I read into other people's texts less yeah whereas like back in the day if I got like a yep with a period I'd just have a mental breakdown I'd spiral all night jump off the roof but now I'm just like they're busy like I'm yep you know like oh they don't realize how that came off CU I'm like I hope people are extending me the same Grace with my texting habits because those have changed I've had to have individual talks with a lot of people I work with and go you know I'm not mad at you right and they're like we weren't sure and I'm like I know the energy shifted because I'm busier right but cuz they're used to like me being more available to talk and stuff and you're less available now and that's okay but it's not I'm not upset with anyone I'm just but no one thinks that you don't have a I'm upset face okay good some people have a face that goes like what's going on right right you don't have that your energy isn't that there are people that we know that we I'm friends with where I'm like are you good and they're like yeah what what do you mean yeah and you're like all right okay I I do you look like you're B upset okay never mind right but yeah but I think when you're a friendly person and then you get quiet and tired then people go oh something's wrong something's wrong and everyone's like what is it and so then you have to be kind of on but like this job is crazy I've never had to be like on all day before and it's tough it's tough man it's really tough to be on all day and then also like Molly who's my assistant onset who's like amazing I had to be like you know that sometimes I just have to be quiet right I'm not upset with you and she's like you can be you can be upset if you want like she's such a safe space and she's like really good at giving me space when I need it but I yeah I'm so terrified that people think I'm just Molly's like I will be writing a book about this of course well and she should and she should I will expose you for being for beating me for beating me and hitting me but no you're a great employer because everybody knows I mean this is not a rumor or anything that you bought everybody um that works for you a Tesla which is super nice and I don't have one I still a UNC why do you do that you honk all over town I just I like being out with the people you know I like being out in the world yeah you really do yeah I like balancing it's except for not coming to the clubs anymore and I'm going to get you back in the club I look I want to it's just it's really just a timing thing and also I was like scared of getting sick like I was just like being on the mic with a hundred people like it was a germs thing as well and like and there you know I I still get nervous when I haven't been in a long time to go to like the store just because it was so built up in my head for years I know it's so stupid I feel the same way about the seller I'm like I'm you can go these places like you've done enough I think yeah where like even if people don't like you they'll still like be nice you know like yeah not as much in New York but yeah yeah probably not in New York but like you know it's just no one's going to be like you shouldn't be here now one guy in the back I mean one guy you shouldn't be here that's all every Heckle I get is always you shouldn't be here I'm like wa that's really specific what's the most what's the worst Heckle you've ever gotten at a live show oh God I think the worst heckles I mean the oh I remember I was running I did the comedy line up on Netflix and those were just like the 15minute ones and I was doing some joke about I think I had some joke about a guy rejecting me or something and one guy who was like my dad's age like in the I was just drinking too much I was just like oh [ __ ] you and I was like and I just lost it on this guy I was in San Diego and I was just like man you I think I said I was like ma'am are you with him I'm sorry like that sucks like I just wasn't even funny about it I was just like I'm just trying to run this stupid set like what the [ __ ] are you doing I was so angry um so I think I think that's the worst Heckle because of how I handled it and if I'd been in a better place and less stressed and a little older I would wouldn't have handled it that poorly but I think the worst heckles normally are just people who are being really disruptive but very supportive oh yeah cuz then you can't really be mad you have to do the thing where you're like I love you so much and you're my favorite person here but just be a little quieter just enjoy it a little quieter I love you Taylor I thank you thank you no no you're my I love you yeah those are tough cuz you're like you're the best man please stop you're podcast fans I can't imagine you're specific he to where they're probably yelling out inside jokes they do and you're like I love you but but honestly when they come to see me solo live it doesn't happen as much because they they kind of separate these things and they go most of the time sometimes you'll get if you had too much fun and they just like you which is rad but you're like but don't yell up because then other people are bummed out and that's just but some people just come to yell at you yeah that's right some guys that's why about he goes and get to yell at him there as they buy the ticket I had a guy throw a sandal at me that was the funniest really in at at the loo Comedy Store was it an inside joke or no dude I was making fun of guys typ well like almost like he did it like it's a bummer because he was a fan like but he did it as like a shut up like a buddy do you know what I mean like as if you would he's drunk if a buddy threw a sandal at me they'd be dead to me so fast you know how buddies just throw their shoes at you no I don't I think he didn't think he was doing it while he's doing it do you know what I mean like where it was like a thing that happened and he was like I I was just [ __ ] cuz here well yeah and here's what happened is I was joking about the kind of guy who has a San Diego as a kind of guy and this guy it's a guy who has a beer bottle cap opener in the bottom of a sandals and that is a real thing that exists this man stood up was like gy [ __ ] you and everybody laughed and I was like sir please he's like I have those I have those on and everyone's laughing in his face and he took it off to show it to me and he's kind of like embarrassed but laughing but and he goes yeah you know and he he didn't throw it like to hit me but like at on the stage did it hit you right in the face no no no no it it was nowhere near me but it was also like oh dude you can't throw us yeah I'm not George Bush you know what I mean yeah cuz then it's like well you're going to have to get that back when I'm done yeah I'm not going to bend down the security guard immediately they they're like and they the security guards at clubs got blessed but they can't wait they're like we get to choke this guy as hard as we can they took him out oh yeah they can't wait to grab somebody they're like they're like we get to bully this guy outside it's going to be great yeah they were excited to like man handle this guy outside that's interesting cuz I feel like security at clubs will do almost anything not to remove people from the show depends on where okay San Diego's very bro like [ __ ] yeah yeah I haven't done the Lo Hoya store oh you've never no I have I mean I use that's like where I like came up I was standing outside when I was 19 oh that's pushing paper down there huh yeah you're barking for people to come show no I just wasn't allowed to go inside cuz I was underage so I would go in do my set and then walk back out like I couldn't wait inside when you were under 18 no when I was under 21 you have to be 21 oh oh it is 21 I thought it was 18 I no it's just for you they're like tell her it's 21 I don't want that kid in here she's so annoying you were 19 and 20 they're like it's just it's we can't still yeah we don't want you around yeah I'm so sorry it's I'm sure under 18 they wouldn't have even let me do a set probably but yeah you can't you can't even what a dumb weird rule though I mean I think it's for but if you're with an adult I wasn't with an adult you deser you should have been and you should have been today when you came here I said we remember that I go she hear alone or she was an adult because I get worried about you and I'll say this before before I let you go into the abyss because I know that you are a busy person I do appreciate you being here but you honestly also haven't aged since I met you which is a little [ __ ] annoying I haven't aged yeah it's a little Annoying yes I have I've abut dud you look the exact if I have a photo when I first met you you look the same really yeah it's a little [ __ ] annoying that doesn't seem it's not even a compliment I'm actually pissed off a I don't think that's true I mean you know what's so funny is I was talking to um I was talking to Joe Firestone our headwriter and uh do you know Joe of you know of Joe Firestone yeah she's so good and uh I was talking to her about like how young I started and I was like oh yeah that when I was like 18 19 I was mostly at like the Laugh Factory and she was like oh my God you were so young she's like were people just hitting on you all the time and I was like no actually nobody was hitting on me at all and I used to be like well it's probably cuz I was so young and then I talked to other female Comics were were like I was getting hit on all the time and I was like okay what was it like nobody was trying and so I've had to have I've had moments with myself where I'm like it's probably cuz you were so good and nobody wanted to [ __ ] with you but I'm like oh other people were getting hit on when they were 19 that's not cool no one else was that young back then though you were the youngest comic I had seen is that true most of the girls that would that were around comedy scene were probably in their young 20s 23 24 you were probably the youngest one that was around that's probably true and people were like people were like who is this they like who's kid is that young child two child here no I feel like like before I was on Netflix everyone was like should we even talk to you and then I got on Netflix and then everyone was kind of like oh hey that's also cuz you were a talented you were young and talented and so people also were threatened I'm sure by you really I felt like I was too I don't know there no way truth is the truth is the truth I know what I'm about here people were like she's young and she's good and so they avoid young good people cuz they're like I don't know I mean I guess if I saw if I saw a 20-year-old that was even a little bit good at standup right now I would you're my mind yeah that's why I'm not in the clubs I don't want to see anyone younger than me having a good set if I see anyone if I see a 29-year-old having a good set who's this [ __ ] I cannot do it right well now that you're old now that you're so now that I'm over the hill you know um thank you so much for coming I really appreciate it it does mean a lot um I you're on tour and uh your tour is probably sold out but uh it's not cuz we put up tickets like a week ago Taylor thomson.com Taylor thomlinson comedy.com I just tried to buy Taylor thomson.com why can't you get that who is that because it's somebody it goes to like a i it goes to like a motor comp I it goes to something but I know that my team reached out yeah and the woman who responded was like I his name Taylor Thomason and she was like I played golf in college and I'm like pretty well known in my community and my name sends them to like our family business so I don't want to part with Tomlinson Motor Company yes yeah God bless Tom motor code ins out of Fort Lauderdale Florida yeah and I think we I think we even offered to buy it and they were like no for sentimental reasons I want to keep it and I was like okay so it's Taylor thomsonc comedy.com Taylor thomlinson comedy.com do not go to the other one although shout out to that business good for you guys in gam good for you guys good for you uh but uh go see her uh it will obviously sell out you're so talented and so wonderful and I appreciate you and I will come to your show yeah please now you have to cuz I no but I wanted to I was like I will do it I just want to get someone that they want me to be with I guess it'll be great I'm ex whoever you guys pick looking to that camera and uh we end the show the same way you say one word or one phrase whenever you're ready to end the episode one word who's sponsoring nobody nobody nobody yeah we lost all of our sponsors because of aone no but one word or one phrase that something that maybe you want to leave a piece of advice to people maybe you want what's your sign off for this show um take some time off that's to me in the future that's good in here we pour whisk whisk whis whisk whis you were that creature in the ginger beard sturdy and ginger like the ginger Jean is a cur gingers are beautiful you owe me $5 for the whiskey 75 $5 with the horse gingers oh hell no this whiskey is excellent Ginger I like gingers