Browse Transcripts

Category: Entertainment

We have this theme song that doesn't have any lyrics and we were hoping the three of you might improvise some lyrics to it and it'd be great if you could give a shout out to our viewers in ohio i guess we need like a bump there so yeah give it a try whenever you're ready after midnight y'all woo where... Read more

Category: Entertainment

John you have an impressive political background and host the wildly successful political podcast pods save america so why did you decide to go on the upcoming season of survivor i love survivor because a lot of people who maybe hate politics get to watch a show that's a about a bunch of people kind... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

I love telling that story cuz i can always tell who grew up in church based on who starts laughing at you know i have too you're like oh i read the bible i know they're about to cut a baby in half i don't think the dating app thing is for me by the way i don't think i can i can do it is anyone in here... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

[applause] dc how we doing how stupid was that i came up from the floor like i'm a [ __ ] jonas brother i know that was silly and it was my idea i was so embarrassed that i thought of that but it was too late when we got here to change it because men with jobs had built it and we're operating it very... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Ich war schnell wieder in einer beziehung, nachdem ich meine verlobung gelöst hatte. ich versuchte es wirklich nicht. viele freundinnen rieten: "du solltest eine weile single bleiben. "leg dir doch eine katze zu!" und ich: "mach mich nicht an!" nach begegnungen mit katzen fühlte ich mich persönlich... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Viele meiner freunde pendeln sich ein. manche pendeln nur. punkt, satzende. kennt ihr diese paare? jeder kennt so ein paar, bei dem ein partner viel heißer und cooler ist als der andere. ich nenne solche paare gerne schokolade mit rosinen drauf, denn man kann schon beide zusammenbringen, aber wenn man... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Ich zögerte, darüber auf der bühne zu sprechen. und dann brauchte ich neuen stoff und dachte: "ausverkauf! alles muss raus!" nein, ehrlich gesagt überraschte mich mein schlechtes gefühl dabei. ich bin ja recht aufgeschlossen. keiner sollte sich wegen der diagnose psychischer probleme schlecht fühlen,... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Wo ich aufwuchs, spielte psychische gesundheit keine große rolle. wir waren religiös. haben sie schon mal versucht, ihrem konservativen vater zu sagen, dass sie psychische probleme haben? das klappt nicht so gut. zu high school-zeiten sagte ich: "dad, ich bin wohl depressiv." darauf er: "du brauchst... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Je me suis vite remise en couple après cette rupture. je ne l'avais pas prévu. mes amis me disaient : "reste célibataire quelque temps. "tu peux prendre un chat." hors de question. je ne me suis jamais sentie mieux grâce à un chat. les chats agissent avec les gens comme j'agis avec les filles avec qui... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Beaucoup de mes amis se casent. certains un peu trop, voilà, point. vous voyez ces couples ? on connaît tous un couple où l'un des deux est bien plus canon et cool que l'autre. je les appelle les raisins secs enrobés de chocolat. parce que, bien sûr, on peut mettre les deux ensemble, si vous y tenez.... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

J'hésitais à en parler sur scène, et j'avais besoin de nouvelles blagues, donc ça passe. non, j'étais surprise d'éviter ce sujet parce que je pense être ouverte. et je pense qu'on ne devrait pas avoir honte d'avoir une maladie mentale, ce n'est qu'une information sur vous qui vous aide à prendre soin... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Je n'ai pas grandi dans une famille très au fait de la santé mentale. on était très croyants. je ne sais pas si vous avez déjà essayé de dire à votre père conservateur que vous avez un souci de santé mentale. c'est pas top. ado, je lui ai dit : "papa, je suis dépressive." il m'a dit : "il te faut des... Read more

Category: Entertainment

After a big win athletes often shout out their moms their kids or god but this week at the us open american tennis star francis tifo decided to shout out someone more important hold on hold on sorry sorry uh tony goin was in the crowd yo i'm a huge fan of you bro um me and my girl used to lo scandal... Read more

Category: Comedy

My son doesn't care about anything he called me the day he's like hey dad i'm in the car yeah i don't know i guess uh i guess i'm out of gas right now what do you mean you don't know joe are you moving is the car moving i'm not moving i'm not moving i'm put put my foot on a pedal i'm not going anywhere... Read more

Category: Entertainment

I keep seeing this trend online of companies going we let our genz intern edit our promo video they said it would go viral county transit system milwaukee county transit system there's a map m just so we're all clear i forbid our genz staff for making this kind of edit of me no gen z is great when i... Read more

Category: Comedy

Intro what up whiskey ginger fans welcome back to the show if it's your first time joining the show welcome to the show hey i'm on tour come out and see your boy on the freeze peach tour come see me uh frank california then i'm up in vancouver uh british columbia canada i go to indianapolis charlotte... Read more

Category: Comedy

-welcome back! -hi. -here's your tour right there. come on. that's a big deal. -thank you. thank you so much. -taylor, you came on the show and did stand-up here. it was one of your first appearances. i was so happy and lucky to have you. i'm, like, the biggest fan of yours. -thank you so much. yeah,... Read more

Category: Entertainment

So you're the queen of late night because you're the only one you're the only female light you're the only one there to be queen by default you are the queen of late night the real question is why aren't there more women in late night yeah i agree it was interesting because i was surprised that so much... Read more

Category: Entertainment

You're a standup by trade right you would say that so how old were you when you started doing standup 16 and what was your first gig oh i was doing churches oh yeah i was that's the only place i was allowed to perform and what kind of jokes do you tell at a church you know i think i told a lot of jokes... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Welcome to after midnight tonight panelists you'll be competing for a handful of almonds this broken rolly chair these ketchup packets i've been keeping in my fridge this sixpack of sock yes an extreme closeup during the end credits that's right your face real big hope you've been exfoliating comedians... Read more