Browse Transcripts
Steve Martin, Martin Short & Selena Gomez Talk Emmy Nominations, Only Murders in the Building Cameos
Category: Comedy
-welcome back to the show, selena, marty, steve. thank you so much for coming here. -james kamala fallon, we love you. -thomas. james thomas. thanks. -okay, first of all, we're here because we love you. -thank you. -and we're also here because colbert has gotten a little pickier. -okay, right. -but... Read more
WePost: Airbnb, Meatball Subs | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Category: Comedy
-finally, guys, it's monday. it's time for "wepost." here we go. -whoa! -♪ wepost ♪ ♪♪ ♪ wepost ♪ -welcome to "wepost." this is where we, as a group, decide something we should post on socials. i'm gonna show you five different posts, and we're all gonna vote on whether you like each one or not. and... Read more
Jimmy Talks About Facing Off Against DJ Khaled in the Cardigan Classic | The Tonight Show
Category: Comedy
-guys, just a quick mention that this friday is the golf matchup everyone is talking about. it will be settled once and for all. that's right, i'm talking about the cardigan classic i challenged... [ applause ] i challenged dj khaled to a golf match. he looks like a fun guy to play with and he's really... Read more
Jimmy Shares Bone-Chilling Scarecrow Nightmare in Anticipation of Jimmy Fallon's Tonightmares
Category: Comedy
-i'm sorry if i -- if i seem a little distracted. i'm still thinking about this nightmare i had last night. or should i say my tonightmare? [ thunder crashes, woman screams ] i was alone, lost in the middle of a corn maze. it was getting dark, and i couldn't find my way out. ♪♪ i started to panic. i... Read more
St. Vincent: Flea | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Category: Comedy
-performing "flea" from her new album, "all born screaming," give it up for st. vincent! [ cheers and applause ] -♪ i'm just like a hungry little flea ♪ ♪♪ ♪ jumping on somebody's warm body ♪ ♪ when you start to itch and scratch and scream ♪ ♪ once i'm in, you can't get rid of me ♪ ♪ once i'm in, you... Read more
St. Vincent: Big Time Nothing | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Category: Comedy
[ cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ -♪ don't blink, don't wait, don't walk, you're late ♪ ♪ don't fall from grace, behave, don't trip, sashay ♪ ♪ okay, sashay ♪ ♪ don't kid, don't blame, don't snap, insane ♪ ♪ don't crack, don't act your age, don't change your name ♪ ♪ it's all the rage ♪ ♪ do ask, but don't... Read more
Dick Cheney Endorses Harris | Stephen Makes Trump's Enemy List | Guy Fieri's Mistaken Identity
Category: Entertainment
Welcome to the late show i'm your host stepen colar and it is you know that is oh yeah you know that electricity in this room it is it is debate night eve okay so don't forget to put out some milk and cookies for santa and then give him two minutes for a rebuttal this actually might be the only debate... Read more
Eve Hewson on Her Brat Summer, Not Wanting to Meet Charli xcx and The Perfect Couple (Extended)
Category: Comedy
-you look fantastic. thanks so much for being here. -thanks. i'm so happy to be here. -i haven't see you in a while. and i said, "how was your summer?" and you told me you had a brat summer. -well, duh. -what do you mean "well, duh"? -didn't everyone have a brat summer? -yeah, i mean... [ cheers and... Read more
Reacting To Mbappe's classy reaction encouraged Olise in his first game for France against Italy
Category: Entertainment
All right boys let's react to this one right here mba's classy reaction encouraged oa who played his first game for france against italy yeah let's rect to it let's go come on pi you all know this one michael alis made his debut for the french national team last night but it was clear that killian umbae... Read more
Trump "Prepares" for Debate Amidst Cease & Desist, Elon Musk to Be First Trillionaire | Tonight Show
Category: Comedy
-enjoy yourself. enjoy yourself. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show"! you're here. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. well, guys, tomorrow, in philadelphia is the big presidential debate between vice president harris and former president trump. which, of course,... Read more
Very Demi Moore, Very Mindful (Cold Open) | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Category: Comedy
[ knock on door ] -hey, demi. -hey, jimmy. -i'm so happy you're here. thanks so much for being on the show. you look fantastic! -well, yes. i mean, you see how i dress to appear on "the tonight show"? very demi moore, very mindful. i mean, i don't come to "the tonight show" with a green-cut crease.... Read more
Box of Lies with Demi Moore | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Category: Comedy
-welcome back to "the tonight show." we're about to play a game called box of lies, but i'm gonna need some help. she's a very talented actor you can see in the new movie "the substance," which is in theaters nationwide on september 20th. please welcome demi moore! [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome,... Read more
Demi Moore Talks Variety's Demi-ssance, Her Dog's Vogue Cover and The Substance (Extended)
Category: Comedy
-thank you so much and welcome back to the show. thanks for coming on our show. look at you here on the cover of "variety." [ cheers and applause ] they're calling this the year of the -- the demissance. -wow. doesn't that sound like a party that we should go to? -yeah, we should go to the demissance.... Read more
Michael Douglas Explores The Causes Of Our Political Polarization In “America’s Burning”
Category: Entertainment
[cheers and applause] >> stephen: hey, everybody. we're back with michael douglas. one scene, one scene got a lot of attention. you improvised something that people do not expect but you believe is important and appropriate to the period. can you explain what happened? >> michael: it was, stephen. i... Read more
Eddie Redmayne & Gayle Rankin Talk 'Cabaret' Revival & Love Of New York
Category: People & Blogs
[applause] how are you they're very excited i couldn't even get the beginning out they were so excited it's nice to see you both so do you enjoy being here both from the uk do you enjoy being in new york city like working yeah i actually have lived here for a long time cuz i went to school here but... Read more
The Song KEVIN HART Can't Stand... #shorts #kevinhart #tribute
Category: Entertainment
At the ceremony i sang a nice song for you here's me singing a song for you can we zoom in on your on your family because i'm singing a nice song to you can we just zoom in like what's going on you pissed my son off you were being an assho he was sick of it what are you talking about i was singing a... Read more
Don’t you have a vase..?#sopranos #edit #recommended #jokes
Category: Entertainment
Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife i guess i'll have to spread my legs now she says why he asks don't you have a vase Read more
Scientific Odyssey
Category: Comedy
Is there pakistani porn mia khalifa mia khalifa she's not pakistani i bet do people you think yeah do you think people come up to her and go hey i thought you were great and butts and boobs four and she's like that wasn't me give me the plot of butts and boobs one and then i'll tell you how we got to... Read more
Taylor Swift Dazzles in Denim Corset at Travis Kelce’s NFL Game Debut #celebrities
Category: People & Blogs
Is taylor swift sending a message about her relationship with travis kelce swift made a striking appearance at kelsey's first nfl game of the season dawning a chic denim corset shorts and maroon over the knee boots arriving solo an hour before kickoff swift put to rest any breakup rumors with her show... Read more
Kevin Hart | Eagle & Football Passion?#standupcomedy #shortvideo #comedyshow #eagle #footballpassion
Category: Comedy
I bought an eagle like just because i'm such a big football fan the philadelphia eagles are it's like everything to me so i bought an eagle it lives at my house i'm serious that's dude i got to i got if you google right now i know for a fact what are you talking about google it google it i don't want... Read more