Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

Last night was a presidential debate and it was scary and concerning and a little bit sad but luckily the good users of twitter have supplied us with a little bit of comic relief as they always do and so i thought i would share a couple of my favorite twitter memes of the presidential debate here with... Read more

Category: Entertainment

[music] hey everybody john schneider here from the saturday night network getting you ready for a very special edition of snl stories as we are about to talk to mary gross former l cast member from season 7 through season 10 and i am so excited to present you this interview coming up in just a few minutes... Read more

Category: Comedy

Can i ask you a relationship question yes well i two um oh [ __ ] uh o h boy i am so sorry that's your girlfriend no i have your baby was born no i have um zoom therapy right now what the [ __ ] [ __ ] you want to do it now is it okay if i h on that [ __ ] god damn this i'm if i don't i'm going to get... Read more

Category: Music

You tempations been surrounded by it ain't a r when everybody knows that you're holding on to love holding Read more

Category: Entertainment

Draft order [music] yes that is right welcome everybody on in to the saturday night network for a very special podcast here right after labor day to talk about some snl 50 coming up very soon in just a few week so now that we're ramping up the podcast i'm very excited to bring in some friends for a... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Do you want to see the government shrink at all yes yes i think we all do i mean i don't think we all do who does you and i do yeah uh i i don't know if either the trump or biden camps want to shrink the government they for sure harris i don't sorry i said biden denight the harris camp i don't think... Read more

Category: Comedy

Is there pakistani porn mia khalifa mia khalifa she's not pakistani i bet do people you think yeah do you think people come up to her and go hey i thought you were great and butts and boobs four and she's like that wasn't me give me the plot of butts and boobs one and then i'll tell you how we got to... Read more

Category: Comedy

Ray is my last name so first of all rachel is what they were thinking because rachel ray yeah and i'll take it from here but i think that there's something about my special uh you grab it you twist it you bop it you seen the commercials dog you want to tone it down or [music] not girls love to know... Read more

Category: Comedy

All right listen up i saw a town on the map about five miles south from here we better head out before nightfall we got a whole horn of infected on our ass so we got to get going before they get wait what are you doing what's that are we going what are you doing you're painting right now um i was i... Read more

Category: Comedy

Oh my god spencer what up dude yo you scared the hell out of me i thought you were principal jones what's up what are you guys up to today you guys trying to get on the roof all right just let me know found this [ __ ] up there yesterday you guys can have that what no no i'm not busy right now i was... Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] gentlemen i've just acquired something that i think is going to be a considerably large asset to our organization [music] dude it kind of looks like a gun kind of looks like a gun kind of looks like a gun Read more

Category: Comedy

Yeah yeah no go ahead no fil me i put this on facebook.com yeah but what are we doing they're coming over the yard like freaking insane what what your farts dumb ass they're wafting into my yard they're making me sick that doesn't even make sense it's not they're coming what say one two three four guys... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Ms. gabbard. mr. kennedy — oh, all  right — “bobby” it is, then. mr. trump. well, i thought we’d start with—hmm?  . . . right, sure — mr. president. so, i thought we’d start with a review of  some of your recent truth social posts,   and maybe just go over a few dos and  don’ts, all right? all right.... Read more

Category: Comedy

Cold shower good to be here i have a little cold i have a cold because uh i have a shower in my house i don't know if anyone else has this where it takes me an hour to take a shower i have the shower where you you cannot get the accurate temperature setting i don't know yeah you know how annoying that... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

[music] [applause] [music] well here we are rose please i can't out we've been seeing each other for a month rose i've never wanted anyone so much what about your place my sister's there she's an insomniac we'd have an audience well i can't let you stay here i just can't well i simply can't take you... Read more

Category: Comedy

अरे भाई वो दो नंबर टेबल साफ कर दो ना बहुत भीड़ है यार मैं क्या बोलता हूं कहीं और चलते है क्या हां बेस्ट सर आपको कहीं जाने की जरूरत नहीं है आप टेंशन मत लो सर संडे हो या मंडे हम यहीं पे सर आपको अटेंड करने के लिए आपको कुछ भी चाहिए ना खाली अपना हाथ ऊपर करना ठीक है देखो अभी मैं जाता हूं आप हाथ ऊपर करना मैं आ जाऊंगा ठीक है आ गया सर बताइए आपको क्या चाहिए ये रहा मेन आप जब रेडी हो जाओगे तो अपना खाली हाथ कर देना यस सर हमारा ऑर्डर... Read more