Browse Transcripts

Category: Entertainment

After a big win athletes often shout out their moms their kids or god but this week at the us open american tennis star francis tifo decided to shout out someone more important hold on hold on sorry sorry uh tony goin was in the crowd yo i'm a huge fan of you bro um me and my girl used to lo scandal... Read more

Category: Entertainment

I keep seeing this trend online of companies going we let our genz intern edit our promo video they said it would go viral county transit system milwaukee county transit system there's a map m just so we're all clear i forbid our genz staff for making this kind of edit of me no gen z is great when i... Read more

Category: Comedy

Traci stumf - my own college i didn't go to college yeah yeah thank you you know i'm okay with the fact that i didn't go to college it's the entire world that is not okay with the fact that i did not go to college and when you don't go to college you notice stuff about life you know like what i've noticed... Read more

Category: Entertainment

Welcome to after midnight tonight panelists you'll be competing for a handful of almonds this broken rolly chair these ketchup packets i've been keeping in my fridge this sixpack of sock yes an extreme closeup during the end credits that's right your face real big hope you've been exfoliating comedians... Read more

Category: Comedy

Please welcome back to the program, bill o'reilly. sir. [crowd cheering] [music playing] come on out. take your time. thanks for having me. - take your time. - appreciate it. - william. - yes, sir? our country, we are in such a dangerous moment. you've written books on almost every assassination. you... Read more

Category: Comedy

(bright music) - it was kamala's night and her opportunity. (audience cheering) hold on one second, hold on. she's not here either. (audience laughing) no beyonce, no kamala. (audience laughing) okay. hey, hey, tickets are free, (bleep). (audience laughing) (audience cheering) it was kamala's night... Read more

Category: Film & Animation

Name is to me his name is prophet williams oh my goodness i've been blessed by your [music] presence prophet cat williams man's a prophet my god my god my god the littlest prophet you'll ever see [music] he's a prophet he's a prophet i wonder how many glasses of alcohol he had [music] Read more

Category: Film & Animation

How you doing tyrese thank you for coming on my talk show today now why do you think so many people are mad and getting jealous of that fine sucking it man on club sh sh me shannon sharp y'all want them numbers but y'all not going to get them numbers oh wait a minute why we whispering oh never mind... Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] thank you nice one good he nice one thank you how are you michael mcy everyone how good the what a legend the apollo look at this is anyone else thinking they've scrubbed it up quite nice haven't they it's nice now it's on the telly when we usually e it's all right [ __ ] all is it but look... Read more

Category: Comedy

[music] hello hello good evening how are you good good good don't worry i've never heard of me either got to be honest with you ladies and gentlemen it's lovely to be here for those who haven't yet worked out i'm from liverpool yeah it just shows the bbc's commitment to ethnic diversity they could have... Read more

Category: Comedy

As a single woman i go on nearly five dates a week not to find love but to get a free dinner am i out of order for getting rich men i don't fancy to buy me delicious and expensive meals this is from ply 27 a genius from manchester you were doing exactly the right thing polly the gender wage gap can... Read more

Category: Comedy

Keep kicking her don't stop kicking her you show we off e class clowny center of attention type in school i certainly was frust into situations where i had to present things so you sort of learn special skills like presenting skills um but i was really lazy so i didn't want to do it so we done we done... Read more

Category: Comedy

You've got a problem with young people yeah okay all of them in their phon oh okay we need to get them to see the real yes world look what is that i think that's a plastic bag of a tree that is liben i i assume rosy got found these kids on the internet i'm not sure about the ethics of that selfish hi... Read more

Category: Comedy

You think you can only have fun on your phone but i have a big bag of happ games see we got some cones oh con le closer is how i you should have fun back in the day and it never did me and sky sky sky [music] sky stay i'm doing it shall i sing and no Read more

Category: Comedy

Which app are you on a hinge how how do you try to present do you try to present funny i just try to show my hobbies i like comedy i like live music i play pokemon video game yeah okay listen don't miss you just gave women50 reasons not to take i play the video game competitively so i like go to tournament... Read more

Category: Comedy

Want to say first of all as a feminist uh i can't support everything that's being said up here tonight but uh as somebody that hates anne coulter i'm delighted [applause] so david spade amazingly um has slept with some of the most beautiful actresses in hollywood proving just how ugly show business... Read more