Browse Transcripts
Kamala Harris and Tim Walz Stop for a Doritos Break While Campaigning
Category: People & Blogs
-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. the democratic national committee released their party platform document yesterday, which was written before president biden dropped out of the race, which explains... Read more
POV: How Shannon Sharpe Was On Live 🤣 #shorts
Category: People & Blogs
Love this freaky stuff like that go ahead now just let yourself go come on now i'm going to let myself go to i'm feeling something too this ain't this ain't like me i don't use to go this quick i'm going after Read more
MUSSOLINI, KAMALA HARRIS AND JOE BIDEN'S EARS
Category: Entertainment
Hello i'm benito mussolini and i endorse kamala harris as president of the united states of america kamala harris is a great woman she's been the vice president for many years as a matter of fact we could say that she's been more of a president than a vice president whenever joe biden was sleeping... Read more
Jokes Seth Can't Tell: Surge in Black Farmers, Abraham Lincoln Gay Rumor
Category: People & Blogs
-guys, we are moving on. here at "late night," every night i deliver a monologue made up of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult for me to deliver, but we don't think that should stop... Read more
Kamala Harris Won Debate Against Donald Trump According to CNN Poll
Category: News & Politics
-hey, everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is our live "closer look" election special. we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. well, the first presidential debate was last night, and the bar was pretty low for former president donald trump. all he had to do was... Read more
JD Vance's Bizarre Migrant Hoax Gets Roasted by Late Night Writer Jeff Wright
Category: People & Blogs
-earlier this week, several prominent republicans, including ohio senator and vice presidential nominee j. d. vance, promoted a false claim that haitian immigrants in ohio are kidnapping and eating family pets. here to respond is one of my writers, jeff wright. -thank you, seth. thank you. [ cheers... Read more
Jonathan Pryce Invited the Queen to Watch Him in a Play About a Man Having an Affair with a Goat
Category: People & Blogs
-our next guest is a tony-winning, oscar-nominated actor you know from movies like "brazil" and "the two popes," as well as "game of thrones." he received two emmy nominations this year for his work in "the crown" and "slow horses." new episodes of "slow horses" premiere wednesdays on apple tv+. let's... Read more
Taylor Swift's Endorsement of Kamala Harris Brings in 337K Users to Voter Link
Category: People & Blogs
-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news. tuesday night's debate between vice president kamala harris and former president trump was watched by a reported 67 million people and then rewatched by at least... Read more
Kathryn Hahn on Guest Hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live! and Her Northwestern Commencement Speech
Category: People & Blogs
-our first guest tonight is an emmy-nominated actress you know from the movies "step brothers," "glass onion," and "bad moms," and shows like "wandavision," "mrs. fletcher," and "tiny beautiful things." she stars in "agatha all along," which premieres september 18th on disney+. let's take a look. -come... Read more
Kathryn Hahn Talks Working with Patti LuPone and Aubrey Plaza in Agatha All Along
Category: People & Blogs
-welcome back! we're here with kathryn hahn. i know your kids are teenagers, so it's probably very hard to impress them and make you think you're cool. but you were in the "spider-verse" movies when -- i guess the first one came out when they were a little bit younger. -yeah. -did they care about this?... Read more
Kevin Smith Brings Seth a Never-Before-Seen Script for Them to Act Out
Category: People & Blogs
-our next guest is a talented director, writer, and actor you know from movies like "clerks," "jay and silent bob strike back," and "dogma." his latest film, "the 4:30 movie," is in theaters september 13th. let's take a look. -and all i want to do is [inhales deeply] -- is watch movies with you. [ soft... Read more
Annoying Orange - Grapefruit DIES!!
Category: Entertainment
Intro oh my god whoa grapefruit is beside passion of the fruit himself i'm bored whoa who's that what do you have hey watch the merchandise buddy wa oh hey how's it going uh hey i'm an orange um uh uh are you okay okay you're beautiful no i'm just a passion fruit more like passion cute uh that's passion... Read more
Tim Walz Mocks JD Vance's Embarrassing Donut Disaster, Trump Insists He's "Not Weird": A Closer Look
Category: Comedy
-donald trump fled to his fox news safe space wednesday for a meandering town hall with sean hannity, where he insisted he's not weird, told the audience they had to vote for him even if they don't like him, and complained about mosquitoes running around his head. for more on this, it's time for "a... Read more
Donald Trump and Kamala Harris Face Off in First Presidential Debate
Category: People & Blogs
-good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well. and now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. vice president kamala harris and former president trump faced off tonight in their first and only scheduled presidential debate. and if it went anything like the... Read more
So, PlayStation Just Screwed You Over
Category: Comedy
Hi i'm sam tucker from playstation and today we're so excited to show you the all new playstation 5 pro for only $700 as you can see the pro stands for price but what are you getting for that extra doge or more to the point what aren't you getting well for one you will not be getting a disc drive you... Read more
PlayStation's Insane Week in a Nutshell
Category: Entertainment
Uh come in hey playstation it's uh it's me uh your your best buddy uh concord oh hey man you didn't have to knock you know you're always allowed my office dude i love you how's my new favorite generic live service shooter coming along anyway oh it's actually it's prettyy funny you ask uh we released... Read more
😂"They're Eating The Dogs!" -Donald Trump
Category: Comedy
In springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating the pets of the people that live there they're eating dogs and cats and hamsters i saw it on tv they took my dog cooked it barbecue i saw it they ate lassie rentin tin they've eaten benji they've eaten... Read more
The Kiffness - Eating the Cats ft. Donald Trump (Debate Remix)
Category: Music
In springfield they're eating the dogs they're eating the cats they're eating the pets of the people that live there they're eating the dogs they're eating the cats they're eating the pets of the people that live [music] there people of springfield please don't eat my cats why would you do that eat... Read more
Springfield Ohio pet mystery
Category: People & Blogs
Tonight on unsolved mysteries in the peaceful town of springfield ohio an unsettling mystery has surfaced reports have emerged of a group of haans in the community consuming cats an act that has both baffled what could drive this bizarre behavior in a town known for its tranquility is it an isolated... Read more