Donald Trump and Kamala Harris Face Off in First Presidential Debate

-Good evening. I'm Seth Meyers. This is "Late Night." We hope you're doing well. And now, if you don't mind, we're gonna get to the news. Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Trump faced off tonight in their first and only scheduled presidential debate. And if it went anything like the last one, that's probably why you're still awake. [ Laughter ] That's right. Vice President Kamala Harris faced off tonight with former President Trump in her first presidential debate, while Trump was still hoping Biden would show up. [ Laughter ] Ahead of tonight's debate, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly prepared by debating an adviser playing former President Trump wearing a boxy suit. So, thanks to David Byrne for his service to our country. [ Laughter ] [As Trump] You may find yourself... [ Laughter ] ...living in a shotgun shack, it's true. Where's my beautiful car? [ Laughter ] [Normal voice] According to ABC News, candidates were not allowed to interact with their staff during commercial breaks in tonight's presidential debate. Said Trump, "Oh, it's like 4 a.m. there anyway." [ Laughter ] In a new interview, former Republican presidential candidate Nikki Haley defended her support of former President Trump and said, "We can either vote based on style or we can vote on substance." Alright, no one's voting for him on style. He looks like he's wearing two sky dancers from a used-car lot. [ Laughter ] Former first lady Melania Trump announced last week that she will release her first memoir. And there's something familiar about it. [ Laughter ] It'll come to me. The Taliban recently released a new 114-page manifesto of laws, including a ban on women's voices in public. "But there's some bad stuff in there, too," said JD Vance. [ Laughter ] In a new interview, film director Ron Howard, who directed the movie adaptation of Ohio Senator JD Vance's memoir "Hillbilly Elegy," said he does not support former President Trump, adding, "Also, could you describe me as 'Apollo 13' director instead?" [ Laughter ] Done, like, a lot of movies. Residents of several New Jersey towns have reportedly complained that they can smell a foul odor that is reminiscent of cat urine, as opposed to what it usually smells like -- human urine. [ Laughter ] What's that? The audience is asking for one more joke on this news story? [ Cheers and applause ] I'm done. I'm done. Okay. -That's right. New Jersey residents are complaining that they can smell a foul odor that is reminiscent of cat urine, which sanitation officials assured them was just Staten Island marking its territory. [ Laughter ] And that was a monologue. We're off and running, everybody.

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