So Wrong it Feels Illegal.. Ft. Rebmasel || Two Hot Takes Podcast || Reddit Stories

Start hi friends welcome back to another week's episode thank you so much for letting us take a week off last week we were in Minnesota home for the holidays aka the Minnesota State Fair Justin's birthday my mom's birthday so we were just getting some much needed rest and relaxation so thanks for letting us do that as you guys know we're going back on tour very soon and we are giving away two tickets for each show over on our Instagram or if you check the link in the description you'll see how you can enter for tickets but other than that enjoy the episode I'm so excited we're finally doing this I'm really jazzed I've been wanting to do it for so long um not that I'm like but I I knew that your last video was a nightmare with the flooding I was like yeah know like flooded I'm not worried about it like I wasn't offended I was like you know like she has [ __ ] going on and then you're like I'm a goldfish I had the memory I'm a goldfish I was like okay perfect I literally the stuff I forget it's insane but here here we go I have an amazing theme for us today but first let's introduce you let's fill everyone in if they're not familiar with you and your amazing stuff you have going on my amazing stuff my amazing everything um I'm Reb masel online on Tik Tok uh on YouTube on Instagram I have a podcast called rebuttal pod and I am a practicing attorney in California which is great um part of the reason why people I guess started enjoying me on Tik Tok is because uh I am an attorney a woman right transcrip the court transcripts I read funny Court transcripts on there and I am am a lawyer and a woman who doesn't have a bob and a stick of her ass so I think for most people that's really jarring like they're not I mean yeah Legally Blonde was cute but let's be serious is what they always are are assuming right um I you're right you got to be boring and you can't be funny and have a personality as an attorney which any lawyer in this field would tell you that even the judges are are giggling giggling along with me um and having a ball which is great you know what I recently discovered what it's um it's like a rate the judge website oh that's beautiful what website is that I don't know what it's called it probably is it's like Rate My Professor but like rate this judge it depends on the state like there cuz obviously State Court judges in every County and state are very different federal judges it's like you know by by uh circuit but could be different but yes the rate my judge thing is funny because at those it's kind of like rate your professor in the sense that unless this professor was the best of all time or the worst most Tous person you've ever had speak to you you're not rating in the middle so the judge ratings are always like destroyed my life unfair corrupt like the worst names you could possibly call someone and then if you ever look into the ratings a little deeper right if they like give any details that could like get you to kind of search through the cases it's like a very fair ruling and they fully definitely needed their case to be dismissed you know XY whatever so I don't know how much you can trust them but uh I have never written one legally that's my disclaimer I've never written one there you go I looked up my aunt who is a judge uh and she's like family law so she's dealt with like a lot of really hard intense cases and some of the reviews she had I was like yeah did you know family law is the most dangerous area of a lot of practice in as an attorney criminal law is not even [ __ ] closed no no no no you learn in law school uh our professors tell us yeah so being a criminal defense jorney or a prosecutor being in that field whatever that's not where you need to like have a bodyguard and lock your doors and [ __ ] and be terrified of you know having your life threatened or your family life threatened um yeah know it's family law or anything to do with property because people get really upset about inheritances and and and wills and probate and all of that and they also get obviously really upset about custody and children and divorces and people I people kill to not pay alimony oh my men will do anything but get a job let me tell you that I'll tell you that okay they will do everything Tak from the J look piping hot piping [ __ ] hot half the time it's like your your ex doesn't want you anymore like your baby mother doesn't want you she simply needs a good diaper to put on her your child actually on your child and they're like how dare you it's messy it's messy it's messy so family law yeah know I I was told basically you will die you will be I mean not you won't die but but family attorneys will vouch it's you will get more threats you'll get more death threats anything I've been on lockdowns um as a civil defense litigator I mean we have like heavy security like I have to you know hit a badge against three different things to get to my desk and we've had you know hey you guys an email circulated here's the mug shot of you know so and so's client um he has on the record stated that he threatened our entire firm and said that all lawyers are pieces of [ __ ] and deserve to die um and so we're going to just air on the side of caution and assume that means us so uh yeah we're we're going to we're going to have three new security guards who are going to escort you in and out of the building and uh he probably is armed and also here's a security surveillance screenshot of him in our lobby last week with a fake CAU badge and I'm reading this email mind you I'm reading this [ __ ] hey you guys like Monday you know reply all ass email and look at this mug shot and I'm already in the parking lot at my office already in the parking lot with my full Blazer lawyer uni on I'm like I would have come and sweats [ __ ] I would have been like I don't know where the lawyers are probably not it's not me I I looked like one I was like damn it like they clocked me they're going to clock me I'm like of course and immediately in like our associate group chat like our attorney group chat all of the young cool funny attorneys who you know use humor to cope are like I mean did you guys see what he said about lawyers you know all lawyers are bastards they need to die and we're all like I mean he has a point or I mean I'm like look I'm not saying he's right for this but like you know let him cook I don't know let him cook [ __ ] like so fair King please don't kill me I'm like taking my blazer off do like oh God I'm just like you yeah I I hate lawyers too I hate lawyers and I hate paying alimony and being a good father terrible literally the worst terrible ever love those shoes I don't know what to say God I got to get you I got to get you on my dad's show too because we just had the craziest write in on his show and it was someone trying to be like I I regret you know leaving my ex-husband and this guy is so he was so deranged and just so terrible to her he was basically like our son is never going to forgive you for tearing apart his family and and if you take me back then I'll stop being so mean and terrible and it's like you're scary you are scary yeah no and I'm putting you on mute and typing out an email while you're giving me that rant like how people are how do you sleep at night I'm like with a silk pillowcase and the AC on high like I'm you know it's not because I'm I representing evil people or working PES or doing things that I think are morally corrupt for a bag 90% of the time in our field of work it's like or our line of work I guess it it's very much just hey yeah so this is the law right we're going to apply it and you don't like it the result sucks okay it's not great but I'm not doing anything that isn't what should happen if you're a good lawyer right if you if you're respectable um and and you know people don't like to not it their way shocking right especially if you listen to this show shocking that you're you know people might not always be correct even if they feel very strongly about something and that should be on a [ __ ] t-shirt long like 70 need 10o font like just down a sweatshirt yeah put that in the Pod description like we are we are very rarely 100% on this show like take it all with a grain of salt we're coming at you off the cuff God bless God bless I hope I hurt your feelings mine are too mine are H too but it's going to be fine oh my god let's just preface this whole episode though off the Jump for little Reb here this is not legal advice whatsoever no it's not this is us just spitting some some takes based on some crazy stories today the theme I have for us is so wrong it feels illegal amazing Incredible's see what we got not that doing things illegal is fun but it's right now or wrong you know sometimes ignore that she's over there the lawyer sometimes you have to go against the law you know there's certain times you know me okay let's Dive In [Music] Story 1 Can I go after ex wife's daughter's income? okay so speaking of alimony you I feel like you're already going to have some some good ones about this one this is coming from legal advice UK it is Scotland related titled divorce can I go after Ex-Wives daughter's income my wife is it is it a man or what I'm already immediately I need to shut I need to shut up I need to shut up let you get through it CU I'm already pissed okay go on my wife and I are separating due to irreconcilable differences it appears it's going to be a clean split on the finances I'm buying out her half of the house Etc my main issue is that my wife has moved out to stay with her daughter now which leaves me to cover all of the household bills Etc I earn about 80k a year so it won't be an issue but up until now we had always split bills 50/50 so I have grown a custom to a certain standard of living my wife is only on a minimum part-time wage so I don't think I would be able to go after her salaried income however now she lives with her daughter who is quite well off and she has very little outgoing expenses other than food phone bill and car payments as I'm assuming her daughter will be paying my wife's way so once the dust has settled here I'm going to be spending more every month and she will be spending less is there any recourse for going after my stepdaughter's income since it will be being spent on my wife so would that count as income for my wife I would like to know please help well again again again I cannot give my legal advice or legal opinion on the laws of Scotland for sure and I'm not even going to get into what it would be in America but just as a person um that I am a hot take that I am anything but getting a job absolutely anything but getting a trajo that's what men wait you said it was a man no there was never oh no like let's think let's let's throwing ballparking okay this is your stepdaughter it's not even your daughter and yeah okay would it be better or worse if they were going after their biological daughter's income yeah but like the audacity to go based on the Assumption alone that your ex-wife is obviously going to be living off of you know her do her her daughter's income babes who said whom the [ __ ] said that maybe your maybe your ex-wife's getting a job after getting free from the that cage that [ __ ] jail that she was in with your ass oh you suck wait also Tio he's like oh we got used to we accustomed to a standard of living so who was providing the funds for that standard of living when you were together that's what I'm kind of I'm curious about because he's making 80k a year in Scotland quick Google search don't know what that means 8K a year in Scotland according to RS Scotland a Reddit sub this person would consider 50k a good salary in Scotland north of Edinburgh okay so 80k seems like that is quite nice you're not impoverished that's for sure you're not scrounging for dollars but pretty good if you want to get an you know another Audi to add the to the collection obviously look at your stepdaughter that's insane it's insane like to even go after your wife who's making less than you like he realized that he couldn't go after the wife cuz she's making less she's got a minimum part-time gig yeah but then to be like I'm going to go after my stepdaughter in what world it not in this not in the world I'm living in not in this world not in this world unless and this is literally unless no there's not even an unless in this situation no you can't no you can't do that no no no you can't no you can't all right you're done in your split whatever complexities you want to argue about with respect to your relationship with that other person argue all you want you know different divorce look there are 50 different states in this country that have 50 different divorce literally divorce laws state it's a state law issue I don't know how it is in Scotland but what your children make isn't not going right like my my income is not going to be touched because my mom married a douche sorry sorry Queen if my mom's listening her and my dad are still together but remember that just future refer just like future refs if you ever want to like leave him like don't touch my cash it's really crazy and I think it's like if you can't afford the same living you're accustomed to like don't buy her out of the house sell the house exactly downsize you have other ways to maintain your quality of life that maybe isn't having this big house what by the sounds of it like right right you can change a little obsessed with you because you're like here's the logical like let's do an account like go on accounting Reddit right let's go let's start like opening up some Excel spreadsheets and really budget budget a little right and I immediately knowing the tone of that post just went straight to [ __ ] you I don't I know that they don't you know what I mean like people like that when they mind goes there they don't want to they don't want to listen to someone saying hey how about alternative here instead of you know going after a daughter that isn't even yours is income which you probably legally cannot [ __ ] do why don't you just get a better job or rework what you think is your standard of living exactly but they won't no and op is uh fighting in the comments here fighting for their life good so top comment you want to know whether after divorce and a clean split of your finances if you can go after your stepdaughter's income to supplement your custom standard of living because your ex-wife will be paying less per month in general is that what you're actually asking OBS that's wait pause that is a law so lawyers what we do obsessed is anytime a client says something say something so or opposing councel honestly in like email phone whatever I mean I haven't in right T tap tap tap anytime anyone says something so outlandish telling them it's outlandish will never help anything because they genuinely think that what just came out of their mouth sounded fine so when you hear it back right play that back nobody hates the sound of their voice until you hear it on a recording same exact thing with dumb [ __ ] commentary and opinions okay the lawyer lawyer thing going okay let me get this clear so you wanted right and you walk them through what you just [ __ ] said do I have that correct and if they say yes then you're like okay you're insane or people will go oh that does sound crazy mhm you're right on the same track keep going God you're making me want to go to law school God I'm not look like run girl run the reason why I'm here in this couch is because I got so violently ill and depressed studying for the California bar exam and 2020 great year to do it that I needed an outlet online to just be just do anything other than you know stab something in my sleep so I started posting dumb Tik toks but now we're here now we're here but other than that yeah sure go to law school I'll hold your hand I'll give you all my outlines in my books so Opie responds it feels unfair that she can trigger a divorce that results in her keeping more money each month and me losing more money each month I wanted to know if there's anything I could do and someone responds uh she has a right to divorce you I'm not getting why you have the audacity to feel she shouldn't be allowed to leave you also it's not like you're paying her alimony or child support You're simply paying for the place you live in why should anyone help pay for your place of living are you stupid bars I have nothing odd bars someone else goes why do you think you're entitled to someone else's money op responds I was only wondering based on the fact I have no pension which means I can go after my wife's pension if it would be the same elsewhere in her finances are you even are you what are you proofreading this it makes no sense and also like you said clean Financial split right yeah the way that the post was written was so as if it was concl right as if these things had happened right like it was a clean Financial split yeah it their split it's over so what it feels like he's like wait a minute I have more I I just remembered he's like waking up in the middle of the night being like I remember she has an insurance policy she has a pension can I go after that now can I go after that now baby no like you get a stopping point for sure like you don't owe this person for life if you're not paying support right but it sounds like he's not no it sounds like they literally just like packed up their [ __ ] she said I'm taking this thank you bye bye I'm going to go do whatever I want to do and also how do you even know where she's living there seems are you know what I'm saying like I'm like okay are you stalking your socials like what's up like what's going there seems like there's a lot of missing information here like even this line where he's like it feels unfair that she can trigger a divorce why did she trigger that divorce were you cheating was your finger on the trigger and she just did a sudden move and because come on now what's going on there and then it's like oh well she has a pension but she's working a minimum wage part-time job usually those don't give pensions so I feel like she may be retired from like a big job and now is just working part-time to like keep up her interest whatever what what missing details do we have here because you are clearly leaving a lot out a lot of missing details and also with respect to the you know stepdaughter I mean how long were they together how old I mean I'm assuming right stepdaughter let's say let's say she's 30 okay let's say she's older she she's getting money apparently who knows she's well off right she's well off but it's like is this is this your ex-wife's you know now second divorce or is this maybe just like a child out of wedlock fine but like right like are you did she maybe get money from like her ex-husband and now you're thinking or maybe right maybe like the ex-husband pays her a lot of money and so he's like oh maybe right maybe like I can flip the script and now be the one that she has to pay there's so I mean look are we shocked that probably narcissistic very selfish people will leave out details in a story to make it sound better for them not shocked I will learn information from my clients who are good people I don't know how if this person's a good person who really knows who can really say but uh who are good people and and genuinely I think that they are but they just right I I'm like you need to tell me everything absolutely everything especially the bad stuff not because I'm not the cops baby right training climate PIV is the strongest Peg we have I have no there's no mandatory disclosure of [ __ ] if anything I have to shut my [ __ ] mouth which is hard to do sometimes most of the time um they don't WR Oh They'll like no I swear I told you everything you swear pinky swear and I'll be like okay because if I found out that XYZ happened which is kind of the vibe I'm getting no that didn't happen okay perfect 6 months down the line in front of a judge I learned that XYZ first sure happened and I turn to my client like this and at that I'm still there I'm like amazing no your honor we did not intend to uh lie to the court but uh right like things like that but people but it's not it's not because they were like oh I'm going to get away with this it's like so many people just want so badly to for that for people to be on their side for their Advocate to be on their side I'm like I'm paid to be on your side even if you do the wor like you can tell me the worst thing ever but I'm just I'm not paid just to just to say be a yes man I'm paid to tell you the best path I need all the info to do that I literally need to tell you what the best thing for us to do is and finding [ __ ] out later is never good including for this guy oh my God you are literally that Sabrina Carpenter song please don't embarrass me [ __ ] I swear my life you with clients yes with no see men don't embarrass me cuz I don't love I don't let him get that far um no that song quite literally is it's lawyers screaming it in the Courthouse parking lot on God please [ __ ] do not embarrass me oh my God I swear to God and then you're embarrassed and then you argue and you don't cry they get you they get you okay moving along to this Story 2 AITA for trying to convince my wife to keep her mom away from us because she wants us to swap kids with her other daughter next one this one is coming from AIT ah it is titled am I the [ __ ] for trying to convince my wife to keep her mom away from us because she wants us to swap kids with her other daughter oh twins run in both of our families we actually met at a twin Festival in Ohio my brother and I did not marry twin sisters or even sisters from the same family but my wife does have a twin and her sister had twins as did we we have twin boys that are about 6 months older than their female cousins it makes for some very cute pictures my mother-in-law might be insane she is trying to convince her daughters to trade like a boy for a girl so each girl can have a brother I guess I think it is the craziest thing I've ever heard my wife also agrees but won't tell her mom to drop it my sister-in-law and her husband are on my side it isn't something that any of us are entertaining at first I thought she was just making a joke no such luck she is seriously proposing this the thing that might make me an [ __ ] isn't turning down this whack job it's telling my wife it might be a good idea to distance ourselves from her mom my wife loves her mom and her foibles she says it's just the way she is but I don't want my kids around someone so unstable that they think this is a normal thing to suggest so am I the [ __ ] no and it's it's giving restraining order it's giving like The Hand That Rocks the Cradle if anyone has seen that movie from like back that like like look listen look and listen mother-in-laws can get insane in ways as this show has taught me so well in ways that I didn't even that I didn't even think existed and asking dead serious 10 toes down looking them dead in the eyes asking your children to swi switch children Swit children like being cousins isn't enough like how is that not like my cousins I feel like are like my older brothers whatever you are not the [ __ ] she's not only an [ __ ] I think she's clinical I that's insane I would never leave my children alone with this woman ever Infinity yeah ever it's giving kidnap it's giving it's giving kidnap in every way shape and form it's giving like one ey squinted what was that like literally backing away slowly out of the room I don't even have words because she's not joking either right like she's no genuinely serious she's 12 can short of a six-pack like there's not even a way that you can be rational and I'm not even trying to like oh two sides it at all there's just there's no way you can there's just two canc s back she's a few Tomatoes short of a thick sauce like what the only benefit that she's saying is that the so the daughters can have they're right have brothers you already they're your cousins they're your boy cousins raise them like siblings and and I'm sorry did he mention that only like a few like two of the parents were on his side like there's a camp building on her side like she's Marilyn Manson cult type [ __ ] pardon me so I think everyone is on the side of like yeah mom is crazy the some people are like it's fine it's not that big of a deal oh okay his wife his wife doesn't want to say anything to her mom and shut her down which I'm sorry you need to stand by your partner protect your children and you need to tell your mom mom not entertaining this at all correct this is not going to be brought up and if it is you are going to be asked to leave it makes us feel uncomfortable unsafe for our children do not bring it up again correct if you were anyone other than my mother I would probably not see you again if you were a friend if you were a stranger a cooworker at work who kept insisting on this idea it's weird it's bizarrely weird and blood doesn't matter when it comes to protecting your kids when it comes to protecting your family and also it's like yeah no you should be seeing by your partner it's not like oh they didn't defend me you should be caring about your kids livelihood enough and also it would be insane when these kids grow up to be a little older if the mom was like basically enabled to to continue this stick to like keep this idea going and not immediately let it go to the point where you're like no no no don't say it anymore then when these kids you know have a conscious like become conscious uh and start hearing like this weird [ __ ] from Grandma like they want us to switch what do you mean they want us to switch are you might like what do you mean like what if she start what if she's like oh yeah that's your brother like actually like that should be your brother like what if she starts like talking to the kids like that I don't know I'm thinking worst case scenario but like that's not even what is the benefit here she has like some Twisted boy girl kid like fantasy like what the [ __ ] well also like what does it do for you like what does it do for the kids that's the thing CU I'm like I'm like Oh you mean oh I want I want the girl to have a brother and the brother to have a sister again they have cousins who are twins and brother sister like we're like sisters brothers like it's like how what does this change that doesn't change a godamn thing siblings are siblings like I feel like for me and I I do understand like having a brother as a girl is different than having a sister a like there are differences right but like these are twins like I feel like twins kind of do have like that Bond and a different connection than just they could get like it's l like twins have been born holding hands like twins twins in the middle of the night like know like they know where they are like they can sense their moods and regardless of whether it's backed up by science or not like I've known so many people who who are twins like through college whatever and I knew a pair of mirr twins um in college mirr Twins were when they have so they're like share wom obviously but they're not identical but they're mirror so like when one has a mole on this side the other has a mole on that side one lost a tooth on this side the other would lose a tooth on the other side mirr it was bizarre right bizarre one's right-handed one's left-handed like literally mirr twins okay birth mark everything I don't know super crazy and they would always say cuz we'd always like joke and ask I'm like oh like do can you like VI like sense each other whatever the [ __ ] and like I don't know like it's like yeah when I she's like yeah sometimes I'm like having a good day but I'll feel kind of down and then like I'll find out that my twin like was having a bad day and I'll be like wow we totally it's like telepathy we knew and yeah probably maybe wrong maybe isn't but like so many there's so many accounts of twins saying like I knew the moment my twin passed cuz like I felt like I felt something I knew like and then I got a phone call and I knew what it was you can't switch [ __ ] twins they're especially as children I feel like they're going to look and be like this doesn't smell like the mate that I had in the womb do you know what I mean the roommate I had the womb mate that I had and what like no no and I hate this the thing too I feel like the highlight of this episode too is like people always like oh just want to cast things off as a joke like if even if like his wife is like oh like she's like she's not that serious you know I mean it's not a joke I'm like but you're not funny none of you are funny first of all and second of all if no one's laughing right it it flopped it failed it didn't land so let's get serious okay about what this is she's clearly dead serious and it's not a joke stop treating it like a joke when it isn't take it dead [ __ ] serious like she's going to kidnap your [ __ ] child out of their bed in the middle of the night and swap that's what I'm envisioning could go if you don't nip it in the bud and put your foot down it could go that way you don't know what mental health stuff this mother-in-law is dealing with something she could be having an episode of psychosis to where she does do this yeah nip it in the bud for your safety the health of Wellness of your family and for hers MH and and this is the thing too is like best case scenario she's not mentally ill she's just so weird and creepy in that event still goodbye right you don't want your kids to be around that and I frankly don't want to [ __ ] be around it okay do the same exact thing nip it in the bud say no no no so we're done with that okay enough of that and also like I would like your visits my kids to be supervised cuz what else I mean you think what you think this is an isolated incident of weirdness and like that sorry that's creepy as [ __ ] that's creepy well that's the thing like if you don't want to go no contact with your mom like I get it that's your mom like if my mom all of a sudden flipped one day going from my normal totally amazing mom to like try to my kids I would be like wait what no I don't want to go no contact with my mom like this is just a little goofy on her part but like you know but at the bare minimum like supervision like no time left alone no taking all the grandkids out and like obviously at this point if Grandma did switch them they would know different genders I mean biological genders babes like they're going to know they're going to [ __ ] know but exactly still like just a safety thing and also I think too what what parents I think sometimes Miss with the whole like they I I completely understand when people want to stay in contact with their parent who's very toxic you know whatever or is really hurting you know their marriage whatnot um you know they don't want to just cut them off at the first sign of creepiness and trouble or weirdness and trouble like that but the problem is that right you can feel a type of way about your relationship as a daughter or a son to your mother but that should not somehow tie in your children right your relationship with your mom is yours it's not your kids to also bear the burden of if your mom can't have a relationship with you without also taking your grandkids out and having like you know then that's a problem because that they don't have to have a relationship with their Grandma right if that's going to not be safe for them duh you can go to lunch with your mom and have a jolly good time okay and get get out of it what you need but like as as the child I'd be like what has that got to do with me you know what I mean like she's weird mom or dad right like they whatever but even if even if the grandma was so great it's like the grandma can prove that they're great right like no one's obligated to your children no one's obligated to your children except for like you know things that are decided by a court order or by someone's custody or by someone's biological you know relation in terms of Father parent type beat you know what I mean that can get hazy but like when it's a weird ass mother-in-law whose feelings do I about hurting my kids or my [ __ ] not hers not [ __ ] hers your kids come first yeah kids come first so there's some comments from op on this one someone goes not the [ __ ] as a mom of two sets of twins this idea is totally offensive if my mom ever suggested anything like this I'd insist on a psychiatric evaluation and a screening for early onset dementia you have every right to shut this down hard op goes to holy cow I can't can't imagine yeah no uh you've you've upset the twin Community the twin parent Community which is a big one and they're strong and they look listen and I say this with all the love of my heart like that's offensive it is offensive what the [ __ ] is that odd someone else goes ask your wife how she thinks the children feel when they hear this talk because they hear it can you imagine what it feels like to a young child to hear somebody talking about making you trade families that could cause some serious issues for these poor children this is not okay it is not a game your wife needs to stop her mother from terrorizing your children not the [ __ ] Opie does respond my sons are like not a year old yet so I'm not sure they grasp the situation no the same person responds I'm really surprised at your answer to my comment I pointed out a really good reason to deal with this issue and your response was to dismiss it even if they don't understand now do you want them to wait until they do understand when will that be in 3 months 6 months definitely less than a year this has to stop before they understand doesn't it okay commenter is now getting very pick me it's not about you okay Queen like like it's not this isn't your post why didn't you say how great my comment and my my advice was king queen right let's like take it down a notch like several notches there's another comment here I'd get paperwork for a nursing home and take it out the next time she brings it up explain that if she's going to act like a lunatic then she can go live in Shady Pines that's so real and lowkey sounds like me is that my twin out there somewhere separated up I understand I'm very cognizant of the fact that the way that I deal with that I would personally choose to deal with situations is not palatable to everyone and that's so fair but like that would for sure be something I did because I I'd be like okay obsessed with that comment here's the brochure get the [ __ ] out of my house right I'll see you like goodbye bye don't you want to have a deep conversation about it not really no we're good we're good we're we're defin we're good stay away from my kids yeah we're bye bye but some people are rational oh God want us chat about it some people are irrational like rational oh irrational I was like yeah some people are yeah that was such a good Segway and I'm so sorry I [ __ ] that up anyways moving along moving along one of this week's Partners is mint mobile I love a good deal I love a good sale but I'm not about to jump through a bunch of hoop or do extra work to get one which is why I've probably put off switching my phone provider for so long but I'm not putting it off anymore especially after trying mmobile it was so easy to get a SIM card ordered from my phone I was actually able to get a phone plan set up in just 5 minutes mmobile is only $15 a month when you do a 3-month plan my current phone plan while having three lines is well over $150 that's absurd all mint Mobile's plans comes with high-speed data and unlimited lied talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G Network you can use your own phone with any mmobile plan and you can even bring your phone number we all know how attached to those we are so find out how easy it is to switch to Mint mobile and get 3 months of Premium wireless service for just $15 a month to get this new customer offer and your new 3-month premium Wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month go to mintmobile.com tht that's mintmobile.com tht cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com tht $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first 3-month plan only speed slower above 40 GB on Unlimited Plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply cement mobile for details this next one it is coming from Story 3 AITA I asked my sister to make me a hand knitted blanket and its UGLY ! am I the [ __ ] titled am I the [ __ ] I asked my sister to make me a hand knitted blanket and it's ugly about a month ago I asked my sister to make me a hand knitted blanket I always wanted one just to have to go on the back of my sofa or my bed so she said she'd loveed to make one so after a while the blanket was complete her and the elderly lady she works for made this blanket and the colors were going to be a surprise to me I literally had showed my sister a picture on the internet though of colors that I wanted to see in the blanket so the day finally comes where I get to open the box that she had wrapped and it was supposed to be a surprise so I opened it and my first reaction was I loved it it was super soft and it was extremely heavy because the blanket is 10 ft 7 in Long by 5T wide but it's extremely ugly it's got a dark hunter green Fabric and yellow red white and green threads she told me that her little old lady picked out all the colors from Hobby Lobby which my sister knows I [ __ ] hate when she supports those homophobic companies after seeing how big the blanket was I told her I could probably sell it for $250 it's so huge I didn't know what to do with it otherwise so she said yeah go ahead and sell it if you want so I posted it on Facebook Marketplace for 2 weeks not a single person messaged me to buy this blanket I marked it down to $100 for one week again not a single person messaged me to buy this blanket it is ugly and I am not exaggerating I will attack a picture in the comment section below so I told my sister the other day not a single person has messaged me to buy this blanket off of Facebook and so I was going to package it up and mail it off to my cousin my sister suggested that I should just throw it away and I said what are you crazy and because my cousin lives in Louisiana she went off and said she literally lives in the hottest [ __ ] place why would she need a blanket and I said did you not see the comment she posted on Facebook when I posted the blanket she said well I'm glad you had one made for you and since I'm not going to use it I thought I would just pass it along to somebody who would use it so am I the [ __ ] no I don't I don't think so but there's a lot to unpack here there's a lot to unpack here because my thing is if that this thing is so heinous and ugly but it's huge and it's obviously like a knitted blanket I mean what if you have a picnic outside like what if you have like a dog puke in your house and you need to like put something down I don't know you could like use this blanket she's like so desperate to get off her hands like it feels like a horror movie where like the doll you know like the haunted doll yes Annabelle and they're trying to like hot potato it I'm like it's a blanket it's an ugly ass blanket you're not going to get money out of it you're going to just regift it like a cursed blanket to a cousin and also the sister sounds like she's not upset at all she's like vibing I feel I'm interpreting it like the opposite okay I think the S like the sister is so sad about this okay and it's just like I think you should just throw it away like cuz she's so hurt by this okay yeah no at first I was like wow she's like being really nice about this but that actually makes a lot more sense I this is my thing okay you can choose to shut your mouth always shut up lawyer that's actually can be legal advice shut your mouth okay shut your mouth right shut your mouth if your sister maybe was expecting to see it on the back of your couch like she said in the beginning for sure be like hey like I think it's like clashing maybe like a bit with like my my scheme um but I do still have and I love it I use it it's so warm when we have movie night I wear the blanket you can say things like that you don't have to be brutally honest and be like I want to sell it for money that you right like you this was a gift like why do you need to sell it I'm going to send it to a cousin okay red flags are flying like your sister you have to tell your sister cuz your sister's going to see it I mean you didn't have to say like she's like giving the like very detailed break tell to her sister about how [ __ ] ugly this [ __ ] is do you want to see it and you don't yeah it better have like a really is it that ugly no oh wait this is going to make me sad it's beautiful wait I'm really sad it's it's like 9s like you know like the '90s like um like like taco like ski yes like ski outfits wait that it is beautiful I'm pissed off wait this [ __ ] is insane yes you're the [ __ ] back it up you are a [ __ ] [ __ ] and the color it's literally like a little bit different than the color of the green that I'm [ __ ] wearing right now I literally want to ask to buy it so put it on the show I'll hang it up back there I literally I I'm wait that makes me mad I take back everything I said she should have shut her [ __ ] mouth no she should have given it to her cousin her cousin maybe would have loved it no forever because now I'm mad that you have it because that's such a cute and also the fact that she took a photo of it when it's folded up trying to make it seem like it like oh like like it's going to be folded up ugly I love the pop I love the rainbow little colors it also looks like it's well done I'm not a knitting gal I don't really know like about like how if whether it's good or not but it looks [ __ ] good to me it looks incredible it keeps you warm have you ever knitted yes I knit knit but there's a difference between crochet and knit but I I know that there's like a very like in look you can't [ __ ] those up okay there are some Niche communities that would be like babe like that's like a slur like do separate it so whether she knit it or crocheted it like amazing that looks good beautiful it looks good as hell one of my really good friends Izzy um Can can crochet knit the vests and blankets she's like sewing me a [ __ ] robe out of Ikea towels because I needed a new robe and it was like really cute I mean yeah crazy and she does it just say by hand like she oh like made an outfit like made a top for going out made a blanket she makes blankets for people yeah but I'm like I'm like at no point even if something that she ever gave me which nothing of her house has always been gorg was ugly it's like when do you need a blanket always like literally always for like going to a SE again picnics outside going to the beach outdoor activities when you're cold watching a movie I've never been at someone's house and been like hey I'm cool can I have a blanket and they've handed me a blanket and I'm like not that [ __ ] ugly one that one's so [ __ ] ugly and it's literally so cute it's literally giving 90s like Utah ski I'm pissed one it was a gift a gift that's a thing too it's a gift you don't tell someone oh I think your gift [ __ ] sucks it sucks so bad I'm going to try to sell it on Facebook Marketplace and also mind you this greedy [ __ ] okay this greedy sister whatever all right I have a sister we're mean to each other this is CRA now this mean she asked her to make it she I'm sorry Beggars can't be choosers and also it's so cute it's literally so cute cute I want know wait that makes me mad I want the blanket so bad op has since deleted their account I can't even message them to be like hey can I can I buy the blanket you no I'm sure I'm sure yeah please I would like to buy the blanket Facebook Marketplace we're on it I'm sure thousands I hope all the comments all these people were probably like can I have the blanket literally sh it to me like people would pay money I would pay money for that on principal alone like a lot of money literally that's so you oh you mean a handmade blanket that's beautiful and I also cannot imagine in my mind a blanket that would that would be ugly enough for me to say no to I would never turn down a blanket that's the thing is I'm like I'm I was trying to conjure up in my head before you spun your laptop pop obviously that was not it but I'm like conjure in your head a blanket a blanket that is so ugly that you would at the very least be like no I don't want it I'm thinking like okay even if it was traic cone orange like just try to put orange and brown i' be like you know I still want it the only way that I would refuse something is if it was like crocheted like a shape or a word that maybe wasn't that was offive I was literally thinking like oh is it going to be a major like you know genitalia like crochetting in this [ __ ] blanket no it's a beautiful blet it's beautiful it's so rude you should never ever treat someone who's going out of their way to gift you something with love and kindness and effort and then I [ __ ] hate it I'm going to sell it were you going to give that money back to your sister at least for the cost of that yarn and time you know like time is money baby and the cost of the yarn and also like Oh you mean an old lady helped oh the fact that an old woman helps her knit it just it's just like a nail on the coffin for this chick because I'm like no you could not have like literally created enough sympathy points for all of us to have for your sister because that's adorable Oh you mean she's like volunteering at the old folks home and this old grandma helped her make it I would literally run into a burning building to get that blanket out of there to save it because that's heart that's heartfelt it really is heartfelt top comment yeah you're the [ __ ] yeah I agree with you about Hobby Lobby haven't bought from them in years and it would have been great if your sister took your color preference into account a bit more but unless you paid her for this it's a gift keep it sell it ship it off ask your cousin first but one thank your sister for the gift that takes a lot of time and effort and two stop updating her on your quest to dispose of it your [ __ ] behavior isn't not liking the gift it's repeatedly telling your sister that you don't like it and neither does anyone else that part that part why are you giving her the [ __ ] play-by-play hour by hour Saga of you hating her [ __ ] gifts this [ __ ] is so ugly couldn't even get rid of it for a 100 bucks gathered that gathered that you hate it I I would ask for it back I'd be like oh word I got 30 people who want to pay literally half a grand for it actually it's beautiful and apparently fact also she was it's she keeps emph emphasizing that it's so huge as if that's a downside to it I'm like I've been looking for a BL it that's a perk that's perfect fits on my whole couch me and three people per I love cin I know yeah [ __ ] people are loud and wrong aren't they [ __ ] cuz how could you be in the process of typing it you know how like you will type out like if you're really mad at someone you'll type out like a notes sap yeah type situation you'll type out everything you want to say to them and in the middle sometimes in the middle of it like you're like three paragraphs in you start realizing okay I do sound kind of like all right like you know I mean I do sound kind of [ __ ] crazy like me and then you just delete the whole thing you're like actually I'm not even going to say anything it's actually not that serious that happens to me all the [ __ ] time like it's not that deep it's not that deep but like I'm imagining her like what what was going through your as you're typing like the old folks home lady is helping her and it's literally huge and also she said to just sell it like in that moment did you think they're going to be on my side like really it's the type of delusion that I wish I could live in all the time okay I literally just said that this morning I was like I wish I could be a little Dumber oh my God ignorance is bliss saying I would I just like the privilege that some people have to just float through life not caring about politics or things like that that just affect that I'm like I wish God people are like I'm not political my existence is political like everything's political the color of this couch is political my hair is political she is political the Blanket's political everything is inherently political some things are just more contributing to the discourse than others it doesn't mean you're not oh I'm just not political no you're just like probably someone who's who every one's politics probably benefits right like I this one guy this one hate comment I responded to one time I was you know I was talking about literally like voting rights like literally like how how the recent Supreme Court case essentially very much gutted part of the Voting Rights Act that prevented States from racially gerrymandering okay which everyone on either side of this [ __ ] up fence can all agree right drawing political county lines based on the right black neighborhoods white neighborhoods Asian neighborhoods is of course not it's bad yes exactly it's not good right it's not great for democracy so basically this case whatever went up and so I'm literally like it was the most like obvious like there's one right answer situation like yeah know like that's bad this case was like yeah basically loud like Georgia do some Shu whatever so I'm talking about it and it was a comment being like get so political like like this [ __ ] like doesn't know what you're talking about like always have talking about politics I all this stuff and of course he looked exactly like you would think he would look okay guess what color his skin was like guess how yeah right like guess what he was doing his pro ball pick like being a white dude with some [ __ ] and I responded in the comment in a video and I said hey yeah no 100% like totally get that you knew exactly what my politics were in the beginning um so tell me what tell me what yours are um when like what year did you earn the right to vote as a white as a white man in America you have the mic now yeah tell me right oh what right did when what year sorry um did you get to open up a credit card in your own name without your wife's approval what year were you allowed to become an attorney what year were you allowed to uh I don't know sit at a desk have an office job without wearing a skirt you the person you love like marry the person you love like that [ __ ] just baffles me like back it like let's right I'm not political or oh this person's so political we're not political we are existing talking about something that makes you uncomfortable because it doesn't immediately benefit you yeah that if that if that's what political is I'll tattoo it on my ass crack okay TR stamp like [ __ ] I like literally like be so serious that it's just very unserious to me it really is the blankets political [ __ ] it is party lines on the blanket that being said please please please make sure you are registered to vote this is such a key crazy election vote you deserve to vote so Reg register let's let's [ __ ] go there's a comment here that I do want to highlight before we move along you're the [ __ ] as someone who crochets if the colors and place they bought it from were that big of a deal to you why didn't you buy the yarn you wanted and then give it to them blankets like this take a lot of time and effort this isn't even something you paid money for and I won't be surprised if your sister never makes you anything again great point I forgot about the whole how could she buy it from Hobby Lobby those homophobic [ __ ] I go like I I have a lot of gay best friends who are like look unfortunately Chick-fil-A fries are really good like unfortunately like I'm not saying support these companies but that alone like that being even a commment that she would include like for us to try to hate her sister is crazy yeah crazy I mean who knows if there you know she's just scraping by and Hobby Lobby how had a good sale like I want to know the ages like if if she's like 19 I'm going to I'm going to make I'm like mad like what are what are they what if they were both like 30 32 right or what if there's a big age Gap I'm getting the vibe that the younger sister crocheted it which is going to make me sad I know there's no mention AG no mentions of Ages no mentions of gender of op too so like I do like in my head I assume this is like two sisters because like I feel like I feel like a man would not take it this far a man would have just like thrown it in his closet and forgotten about it and just been like look at this ugly [ __ ] like he wouldn't have he wouldn't have had so much chat about it exactly and maybe that's stereotypical of me to like assume and observe and to say but we all have some you know like I just this and also like hopping on Facebook Marketplace really quick and like trying to make it the yeah the go through that effort no the vibe of it all is very much like you could have just thrown it in your [ __ ] closet and said you were you couldn't shut up about it yeah giving sisters it's giving sisters gosh H yeah there are some comments that do mention like Hobby Lobby and the fact that like not everyone is so privileged to be able to shop based on their politics so keep that into account and things like that but yeah very clearly [ __ ] uh op was so embarrassed with their [ __ ] garnish that they deleted the post and they deleted their account so they they learned real quick the lesson good real quick I hope it means I don't want her to keep the blanket anymore I wanted to go to someone who would appreciate itm give me that blanket give me give us if you're watching if you're listening don't even have to say a word don't have to identify yourself just like shoot us [ __ ] blanket sister who made it if you're out there we love the I will take it I literally I have it at my house right now because I just love it so much but someone made me a blanket at um one of my Denver live shows and gave it to me and it is the most beautiful little thing it's green and white Checkers and it's like my vibe to a tea I just I love it love and anything just yeah I made this it just blown for people who aren't like crafty in the sense of like I can yeah I can paint but I can't like M can't make a shirt or a blanket or whatever that to me is like it's so cool like that will stick with me forever I know someone else crocheted me a poop knife I like I get really like you guys out there that come to the live shows with presents you but love that like that's my favorite thing in the world because you're like w you thought about this and you and you love I know like you're thinking of me you love my humor you got it you know it you're so cute that's great okay moving along buckle up for this next one another one of this week's Partners is VI as you guys know I'm a lover of gummies and VI has THC and THC free products for me I've been loving their calming drops I have a really hard time winding down after a stressful day my brain can't shut off and I just feel ah you're no longer cranky irritable and you're just in a better head space you can be present whether that's with your kids or your family and they even let you relax maybe in the bedroom have you tried that because Next Level let me tell you and they have so many different doses to encourage whatever level of comfort you're looking for and all of their products contain the highest quality hemp sourced from trusted independent owned American farmers and the best part they ship to all 50 states in discreet packaging directly to your door with a worry-free guarantee no medical card required so if you're 21 plus check out the link to Via in our description and use code tht to receive 15% off after your purchase they ask where you heard about them please support our show and tell them we sent you enhance your everyday with via again if you're 21 plus check out the link to Via in our description and use code tht to receive 15% off it is 2 days old Story 4 AITAH for getting hurt and upset over a “harmless prank” that my husband pulled? coming from AI ah titled am I the [ __ ] for getting hurt and upset over a harmless prank that my husband pulled so me and my husband have been married for 5 years we are currently female 24 and male 33 way before we met when I was 16 my mom's house had a house fire that burnt literally everything down and sadly my childhood cat was also killed in it I remember my mom and brother waking me up screaming fire fire get up get up we crawled out under the smoke and luckily my neighbors had already called the fire department and they pulled us out we lost literally everything we were devastated so that was a while ago but it still really scares me and I checked outlets and our stove and candles and everything all of the time my husband knows this about me so two nights ago I went to bed early because I am 34 weeks pregnant literally about to pop I was sleeping for a while before for some reason my husband decided to wake me up by yelling quote baby there's a fire fire fire fire get up as quick as I could get up at 34 weeks pregnant I did and grabbed my purse I was just in automatic shock and just autopilot and knew what I needed to grab I made it all the way down the stairs yelling for my husband to follow me before he started laughing and telling me it was a joke it took me a minute for that to process I stood there with an open mouth while he laughed and ushered me down the rest of the stairs I sat down on the couch and just started sobbing it was genuinely the hardest I've ever sobbed it's like I couldn't get myself to stop and my whole body was shaking my heart was racing and I couldn't breathe I've never had this experience before I was genuinely so panicked I was so [ __ ] upset my husband apologized and was like quote Oh my God I'm so sorry it was just a joke I just cried until he eventually was like quote what the [ __ ] it was just a prank this is really dramatic after a few hours I had calmed myself down and went to apologize to him he wouldn't accept it he said I was being over dramatic and made him feel like [ __ ] for a harmless prank so I guess am I the [ __ ] I've never been good at taking jokes I've been trying to be less sensitive but I don't know no you're not and you need to pack your [ __ ] and you need to get out and I say this coming from a place of likely very individual personal experience right the person that I am and from what I know and the experiences that I've had and from The Amazing brilliant lovely people around me that I've thankfully met in my life uh they yeah you get to a place in in your life where you go yeah no there are certain things that are not just red flags they are believable red flags immediately you cannot you cannot ex if you're explaining to someone why severe trauma and PTSD is I mean exists in your head and in your mind and why that wasn't just a joke if you're explaining that to someone an adult who's supposed to be your partner for the rest of your life like he's a [ __ ] eighth grader in a Middle School lunchroom he will he will do something like this again or he will do it in a different way to your children he I'm sorry I mean you know oh it was just a joke type be that kind of stuff that's so on the nose and obvious it's not like he didn't know about her trauma he knew the [ __ ] story she lost everything she lost her cat even if she had lost nothing that's horrifyingly scary um if she if any of my friends any of my best friends would have called me up crying telling me what just happened and saying I tried to apologize to him I would have been kept on the phone with them been calm cool collected the entire time I am in my car on my way there with a very sharp elbow and a very direct tone of voice okay and he yeah I I just think it's it's just the type of thing that I mean what I always say anytime a man or anyone does something and and I always think you know we always convince especially women like are we being over dramatic right like is this oh girl can't Jake a joke type of thing you know or whatever there isn't a fire I'm 34 weeks pregnant don't even get me started on that fact Jesus [ __ ] Christ putting the safety of my child at risk because of my stress and my emotional regulation no no no it's there's the door but that's either here they there I think that I always ask myself would the love of my life do this would the love of my life would my soulmate treat me like this yes the love of my life my soulmate will totally make mistakes and totally hurt me will hurt each other that's what love is inherently um Love is grief all the time but would the love of my life with the knowledge that they had do something that would even risk me feeling like this even risk it when it's that extreme and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our child that's at that point I'm calling a lot of people and who are going to show him who boss MH but this is really disgusting I mean you hit the nail on the head and every direction like there's you clean cleaned house for me um but it just hurts my soul to think about right like where she is in that moment typing this up you know like in her home is he at work is she like gen has she been gaslit so [ __ ] hard by this guy that she's thinking well I can't split up my marriage like you know we have a child coming maybe I am being Dr I mean it that's what hurts my heart is I want to hold her hand and say you're right I just can't imagine like having to apologize to someone after they did this to you I mean he clearly knows about the trauma um and let's start let's back this way up to the beginning and let's do some math here so she's currently 24 he is 33 they've been married for 5 years so they got married when she was 19 the fire happened at 16 so the fire from the time of the fire to when they got married is only 3 years they probably dated for at least a year so maybe they started dating when she was 18 and he is I mean he better hope they started dating when she was 18 that's not tell you that much about not math that I love here not obsessed and no reason no excuse to not know what your girlfriend wife 19 just went through 3 years prior so to then do this at any time but let alone when she is 34 weeks pregnant what if that caused her to go into premature labor what if that put your baby's life at risk and you lost this child because of that stress and Trauma you just put her through he wouldn't have had remorse I mean look I'm gather like some people are malicious and some people are just really stupid and you always really hope that it's the second one because you don't want to feel like you married someone who would be that genuinely evil because that's what that is it's not over dramatic to say that that's genuinely evil especially with how late she is in her pregnancy I mean if if I had heard this story from a coworker an acquaintance someone I didn't even like that much I would be on the local news because that man would have I mean legally I can't admit what I would do but right like I would be on the news and he would have been dealt with because that it you're not you're putting that baby's life at risk you're putting the the wife's life of course at risk I mean what it's not it's not even funny I mean even if none of that had happened even if she was not pregnant and never had a fire happen if my brother did that to me and he's 30 he's 34 I'd look at him and go you is that are you good have you been watching too much shitty South Park like what the [ __ ] do we need to check you in somewhere literally are you fine like I'm going to hold your hand when I say this you're never going to find a woman but my brother's not like that he has a fiance and she's great so there you go but yeah no that that I don't I'm not obsessed with that math no the fact that he met her when she was 19 and mind you people are going to of course that's illegal B I'm not saying it's not right I'm not I didn't do the SBO theme s spu theme song because I think that it you know wasn't totally fine I'm doing the s spu theme song because we better hope they started dating at 18 right we better hope we better pray I mean married at 19 like it's crazy it's just wild I mean he's he would have been 27 like that is a big gap different points in life different power dynamics I don't generally love huge age gaps but it's totally fine if you're at the same point of power in your life you're both in careers you're established you're not having to rely on this person this person isn't going to take advantage of you that's fine in Dandy then yep have 20-year age Gap I don't give a [ __ ] a greed wholeheartedly I always say too I'm like it's not right because you can be I mean our parents half people's parents their age gaps are crazy but it's there's a difference between dating someone when you know you're 26 and he's 35 which is completely fine right and I'm saying legally and socially like I wouldn't I wouldn't blink at that but it what I always say is you change the most physically over the four years of high school right your bodies you're a teenager you're from a freshman year to a senior year it's like a completely different person physically you change the most I think mentally and emotionally when you're in that hot SP age of being quote unquote an adult but you're out of the house probably you're starting working you're working or you're going to college right regardless of what you end up doing or maybe you're just you know out of the house and figuring life out between the ages of 18 19 and like 25 you are changing the most maturity wise emotionally mentally you're figuring your [ __ ] out so when someone right is like 26 27 28 even in their 30s when I look like I'm 29 I look at someone who's 21 and I'm like no I can party with you right I'll see him in Vegas like at the club happy birthday right buy him a shot and meing but like I know that I can't I can't connect with them in a way that would not be a disservice because they have to go through [ __ ] without me influencing it and it's so easy for a man to manipulate especially a young girl you know maybe she wasn't maybe she had a good head on her shoulders maybe this wasn't predatory I'm not necessar necessarily saying it was but the fact that she this ended in her apologizing to him is like very indicative to me of a power Dynamic that I think is a great point you brought up right like you're not on the same plan you don't see yourselves as on the same plane anymore no and I think like there's obviously some people that can be very mature at a young age whether that's from being forced to grow up early or raising a sibling or whatever that is like I I definitely have always been told like oh you have an old soul MH and that's tough like but at the same time like you haven't necessarily like matured mentally even if you are that person that that that's me and I was talking to my dad last night about like Jackie O and when she became the first lady she was the first lady at 31 I cannot even imagine I'm 30 and I feel like if you ask me how old I feel I feel like I'm 27 28 like I cannot even imagine having to be the first lady at my age now 30 like what and this girl like she is 24 like and and so many I mean I know so many people I grew up for most of my children in like a very small Midwestern Farm Town God bless Illinois tornadoes and mud ins sticks uh and it is the culture to you know um in in those types of small towns especially in Middle America to to marry pretty young and and 24 to me right and to you of course like we're like the working Independent Women you know who are like obviously going L going to go going to be later in the game when it comes to that kind of stuff but the age of getting married isn't inherently the issue it's like no everyone no matter what when you're 24 years old even someone who's gone through traumatic experiences she probably grew up fast after having PTSD you know from the horrible experience you are 20 you're 24 you should be at the club like you should be at the club this man even if you want to have kids like that's great but you're 34 weeks pregnant and you're and to be honest I mean I broke up with um one of my relationships because I met he was he was like three years older than me and I met him when I was 19 he was you know 2122 and I you know I remember I turned 21 and I looked at him and he had stayed the same age mentally I was like oh right like that's it clicked for me and it wasn't right like that that's how I feel with this scenario is like she's 24 and he has not grown because this is the most immature [ __ ] I've ever heard in my life I would I mean I mean your pregnant spouse like any man who has even a sliver of a Kona would never do this no top comment on this one no you're absolutely not the [ __ ] no get [ __ ] uh indeed.com uh send it to him whatever that wasn't a harmless prank when he knows your past trauma it also wouldn't have been a harmless prank even without that trauma because you were pregnant the adrenaline Spike from something like that could have easily sent you into pre-term labor and while I'm sure you feel ready to pop you're not yet full term and the baby's lungs are the last to develop he's definitely the [ __ ] but more than that that was psychological abuse it was not a prank it was not funny and it is very well it could have done physical harm as well and now he's trying to Gaslight you into thinking that you're the problem please be very careful and keep yourself safe snaps agreed snaps all around agreed and goodness gracious I safety is the most important you know like God I mean if you need to move out and take some space you don't want to end your marriage that's cool mhm but at least go stay with some family be calm be happy and safe and take some time to just ensure that you can get to the 40 weeks yeah without issue and every single pregnant woman in this country whether you are 16 and Pregnant or you know 35 and pregnant whether it's in betro or an accident or whatever every single woman deserves to have a pregnancy that makes her feel safe you can't control the health of yourself or your child always you know your your infant that's inside of you the fetus that's inside of you things can go wrong I've had so many friends who've had preclampsia I've had so many friends who've you know been bedridden for the last however many months just because you know they didn't want to risk it but ultimately the one thing that you can control is your environment and and your safety or at least you hope you can you know control that so many women can't because they're in bad situations or they're surrounded by people who stress them the absolute [ __ ] out um and and God you know like if she doesn't want to get you know what like there's a lot of history with people there's more than you can put in a Reddit comment about that man and what you know who he is whatever uh but but definitely she needs she deserves to be safe for these last six weeks God you know safe in her mind and her body so like what if he keeps doing the like what if he keeps doing this that's what I think too I'm like is this a slippery slope I know for traumatic psychologically abusive pranks I know it was just a joke Babe uh are you going to risk it at 39 like are you going to set the stove on fire for real like what's going on it is so scary we do have some comments from our our writer here um so someone asked why would you apologize to him and Opie goes I apologize because he made a big deal about me making him feel horrible someone replies that is gaslighting you did nothing wrong um so someone else goes he couldn't get a woman closer to his age because the reality is no woman would ever tolerate his behavior he had no choice but to go looking for someone he could mold sadly op was definitely groomed so op does respond to that and goes this is not true we met when I was 18 so barely I'm just like okay but like are you 18 in one day like right there's so much still gray area there and yes legal but like still like 18 and he's 26 27 like that's and I do think to the argument and the discourse around age gaps we're thinking about just the fact that we're right in sense of like well obviously I'm correct that that's weird obviously I'm correct that that's you know weird age it doesn't matter if it's legal but for the woman who's involved in it they're not going to ever th like they're not going to want to see themselves as a victim or or if they're she was 18 right it's doing nothing for like the original post and for what we actually want for her to just like yell at her about how he's creepy because she's not you know what I mean she's not going to believe that yeah the the comment that they said that was so great about how they're like y know she's like she she said uh he made me feel so bad about making him feel bad and I'm like oh yeah know textbook narcissism like textbook that's literally like open the book and you'll see his face anytime someone else makes their reaction your responsibility is it it it's manipulative because the way that you made me feel and the way that I express that to you just because yeah you should feel shitty about how horrible I felt about that I just explained to you rationally what your batshit insane prank did to me mentally emotionally all of that you saying well that makes me feel bad it should absolutely should and it's not yeah and but they think oh well how dare you and you're like what oh my God right oh my God and so you just end up going in circles with that person and I feel for her because God I've gotten in circles with people before at that age too honest to God at age 24 I feel like it was like frontal lobe was Ling it was frontally loing and I was looking around at the people around me going yeah some of you are like like that you know in that not necessarily playing crazy pranks but they have that mentality of like they just can't own up to their [ __ ] no oh there's so many so many comments on this like I'm so glad she's getting the support there's 99.4k comments on this um someone goes I don't know why the [ __ ] she's apologizing to him she had a stress reaction at 34 weeks pregnant that is related to a past traumatic event that he triggered ma'am let's that sink in your loser husband is a douchebag this is not a prank it was insensitive ill-timed inappropriate and downright disgusting he is disgusting frankly I don't think you reacted enough to him I think you should have popped the [ __ ] off on his ass if there was ever a moment to become unhinged this was justifiably it you don't need this [ __ ] at 34 weeks pregnant when you should be stressfree but instead you are married to Captain [ __ ] who thinks he did nothing wrong and is gaslighting you to think you are the problem stop a apologizing he is neither fit to be a husband or a father with how he behaves and treated you not the [ __ ] but you are unfortunately married to One op responds all of these comments are making me regret everything and I'm so so scared but Captain [ __ ] made me laugh LOL so thank you for that at least good okay good poor little not little cuz she's PR but yeah little I'm like you're yeah I mean look I call everyone I'm just like you're just a little nug I'm like you're little in my mind cuz I just want to put you in my pocket I I'm very it sounds like from her tone that makes me happy cuz you know sometimes you see people get like super defensive in comments and then you're like [ __ ] you know like I'm glad that she's realizing I hope that she has someone else in her life physically who can also hold her hand I know there's one last comment I'm going to read from her cuz it it looks like it's going to be a juicy one I want an update I want an update too so bad there's no update yet but I mean this post is only 2 days old at this point in time okay well when there's an update call me I'm coming back yeah I swear to God so someone is asking like harmless prank that entire time you were upset crying heart rate up huge adrenaline rush and then crash your baby going through the same thing your unborn baby your husband must be losing his mind what if you had stumbled on the stairs and fallen down serious question is your husband happy about this baby is he a narcissist any red flags in your relationship I'm really sorry to say all of this because you've been growing a human for 34 weeks and wanted to make sure you were 100% sure about your your husband and his thoughts on this baby I'm usually not a violent woman but I want to slap the [ __ ] out of him women worry about certain things when pregnant and Men worry about certain things like their jobs and job stability money afraid they are never going to have sex again all kinds of things I want to give him the benefit of the doubt but then I picture you jumping up and running downstairs and my blood pressure starts going up Opie responds he is happy he's the one who wanted a baby I don't think he's a narcissist though I'm not sure the definition of that and no I don't think there are red flags other than what is being pointed out in the comments I'm reading that is mostly that he tries to make me feel sensitive about our ages but I always knew that and I never cared a worst case scenario cuz you know look worst case scenario is that he wanted her to have the child to trap her which is the textbook classic dust off the old book and the old tricks okay for for men who do this to women right especially young women they want them and I'm obvious going to the extreme of with all the knowledge that we don't know about these people but him wanting the child doesn't negate the massive bull fighting red flag because you know he could have wanted the child for a million different horrible reasons that didn't that weren't him being joyful about bringing life onto this Earth he could have wanted the kid because he knew you wouldn't leave him because he knew that you'd need him right they want to be needed people like that want to be needed and also I agree with that comment in the sense of you know I'm not a violent person but I want to like throw a hand throw a swing there are certain things that no amount of overex explaining tumbling over your words you can do can convince me that that is not insane like what he did to this 34-week pregnant woman like there's no excuse in the world that could justify it to me like none zero it's over it's done well you need to hear both sides there's no like there's my side and that's it it's my side and there are so few things that happen in life where you're like well you know like maybe he cheated on you because I whatever right you could explain things way you could think think about it for a minute no no no jail start out in prison prove your way out so wrong it feels illegal yes exactly I he can you go to jail for this I know he can't but I'd like him to I would love him to sit and just think about what you did look it could be intentional infliction of emotional distress that's a civil claim and this country in the US OFA uh there are about three claims I can think of in my head right now uh in a complaint hypothetically that she could file hypothetically hypothetically course um yeah perhaps on the on the you know behalf of the fetus as well but that's that's neither here nor there yeah depends what what state you're in on that one yeah ah I will keep an eye out for an update um just really really praying for this one I mean I'm not even religious and I'm about to like come on keep this lady safe whichever got like during the bar exam I was like I don't care what God's up there I know one of y'all is going to be right I know one of these people on earth is right okay I will be Buddhist I'll be Christian I'll be Catholic I'll be atheist someone down here does Satan sat do you hear me do something yeah that's how I feel about this as well oh he smokes okay moving along another one of this week's Partners is row there's a lot of us out there that might be struggling with some heal stuff or maybe just want to feel better in your own skin and that was me I've got PCOS and I really just wanted to feel better in my own skin again which is why I tried OIC now I'm sure you've heard about OIC or woie and you've probably heard a couple of things they're effective but they're pretty expensive hard to get but that's where row can come in through row you can access prescription compounded gp1s with the same weight loss ingredient as brand name gp1s and at a fraction of the cost and you can usually get them in 1 to 4 days if you qualify and you're going to get support throughout the whole process trying a medication like this to better your health shouldn't come with no support if you're eligible for this medication you have access to your provider on demand for any questions go to row. cthd membership start at just $99 for your first month medication costs are separate that's r.co tht go to ro o./ safety for blackbox warning and full safety information compounded medication is not required to and does not receive FDA review or approval RX only okay so this Story 5 AITAH for considering breaking up with my fiancee because I found out that she got the “ick” when I cried last year? next one it's 14 hours old titled am I the [ __ ] for considering breaking up with my fiance because I found out that she got the ick when I cried last year my fiance 26 female and I 26 male have been dating for 7 years and we got engaged last month I found out something recently however which makes me very sad for some backstory I was going through a stressful time last year with work and I was feeling overwhelmed looking back I think I was just overreacting but during that phase I just don't know what was happening to me mentally then one night I just started crying randomly for no reason my fiance was surprised but she comforted me and she asked me what it was about and I told her it was life in general the week after I cried I actually got a promotion at work and I realized I was just overthinking everything and that things were actually fine mentally I started feeling much better and things were back to normal but I heard something last week which genuinely hurt me my fiance's best friend Ellie also got engaged recently Ellie is also very close friends with my sister but my sister and my fiance aren't really friends or buddies last week my sister called me and told me something that she had heard from Ellie which she wanted to share with me what happened was that Ellie and my fiance were talking about green flags and what they love about their fiances and what they could potentially be better at my fiance had jok Ed about me crying last year and that she found that an ick Ellie found that very funny and then shared it with my sister my sister told me she didn't think it was funny at all but just carried on with the conversation and pretended everything was normal but she did want to share it with me I then asked my fiance about it and my fiance seemed a bit nervous but she admitted that she had said that but that she was just joking and didn't mean it I told her I needed some space and my fiance started crying and told me that she was just joking about it and that she loved that I was comfortable expressing my emotions to her the thing is I don't really believe my fiance and I feel really sad and hurt that she found me crying and ick and that she joked about it with her friends so am I the [ __ ] for considering breaking up with my fiance I don't know because being a woman having the inside info that we do right convers that go on especially early on in a relationship where half of you is like I could be in love with this man and the other half is like wouldn't it be great if I wasn't though because I don't want to have my heartbroken right you I do this [ __ ] all the time I'll be like oh my God he's so beautiful I need to get on his nerves immediately right now so that he gets the [ __ ] away from me CU I know he's a nightmare like he's a red flag walking he's been ran through more times than a truck stop I need to get the [ __ ] out right and and these are all defense these are all defense me the self sabotage look and and women talking about I yes men a a lot of men online and I know it's like the extreme like in you know incel type men will get will will take the ick thing so deep right they'll be like oh my God like this so whatever it's same thing as us like saying women are fat and ugly and F I'm like no no no that's actually not the same thing I think I have enough conversations with my friends joking genuinely joking about like I when it like sandals like your dogs out right your feet sandals wearing flip-flops men wearing flip-flops or like skipping or like chasing after a pingpong ball things like that and oh the chased after a pingpong ball one there's just no way you can do it looking cute at all like at all at all so it sounds like that that happened like early on in the relationship right like she wasn't saying it like a week before so timeline here is they've been dating for 7 years just got engaged last month the crying happened on the sixe mark so it just happened a year ago okay yeah that's tough that's tough that's tough okay so my whole SPI is about nothing okay but right like why don't I mean I do see where you're going with it though that like why don't you believe your fiance though when she says that it was a joke that's that's kind of where I'm going to is like okay you've been with someone for that long you know them well enough do you not believe them because you know them well enough and you know they would to joke about it okay then yeah I don't think you're an [ __ ] for at least considering breaking up with this person because it is a really big thing if someone to your face is telling you that it's great in the moment especially when you're crying when they're your source of comfort yes um to then turn around and say to people in confidence but not confidence at all because they're going it's going to get back to you to your own sister right saying that oh yeah I was Nick whatever but but I want to like I know this sounds bad whatever but like if I could just have like a script like a transcript of the exact girl combo because the way that it said is also so right oh yeah like I've se you know I've seen cry like a bit of it like I don't know what the context is maybe they're trying to make someone else feel better maybe like that like I need to know the context but worst case scenario if she was like I saw him cry six years in such a [ __ ] ick haaha JK with the girls that is really mean and horrible and I also biggest pet peeve is when people yes like you should absolutely not be isolated and should be able to talk about your relationships for advice with your friends and other people but there are absolutely certain things attorney client privileged things attorney client privilege meaning like in your relationship you should have some privilege where no matter what there are lines that you don't cross when it comes to sharing certain information not because you're protecting them from being exposed for being like abusive of course or like a bad person of course but like my most vulnerable moments I don't want to be up for debate at at like a wine night with shitty charcuterie like that would piss me off as a man that would piss me off as a woman that would piss me off and that's what it feels like this was yeah I don't like that then fair I always am like look I always start out team wom I think that's why my answer started out like that so like kind of obsessed you can see how I go with things well and like you have the Insight your your context is coming from being a woman having these Kiki Haas like talking about I and so like you can recognize that like maybe this ick conversation wasn't so serious like but at the same time kind of like being like Oh it's an ick that he cried here's which is not which is not inherently an ick by the way like it's not okay that someone says literally you crying was an ick depend did you drop ketchup on the floor and started sobbing that see that's why matters and I would say it to your face dead look in the eyes as like you're being escorted out i' be like that's wild but but yeah I think that I feel bad for him God I mean too it's like [ __ ] like you're crying about something important and even if you weren't why share that what do you get exactly that's where I'm at with this one I don't think he's the [ __ ] for considering breaking up I think you are so entitled to your feelings they're valid I would like take what you're hearing though with the grain of salt right like this is coming from your sister who heard it from her friend and your sister isn't Friends with the fiance and the friend heard it from the fiance like this is kind of a twisted web and you are missing the context however I think at a baseline it's still wrong to share like oh I got the ick when I saw him crying because if that was my partner I would actually feel the opposite I would feel like wow he has emotions he's comfortable enough with himself to share those emotions he's sensitive he's in touch with that he's not one of those people that is only displaying toxic masculinity like I would look at that actually as like a I find that kind of hot you're willing to cry in front of me absolutely call me sick and twisted I like seeing guys cry abely absolutely absolutely sick and twisted she has a kink we're not King shaming here so I just like I'm I'm frustrated by the fact that that was even a conversation because you can't like dismiss oh I don't want a guy who's toxic masculine and doesn't cry but then say [ __ ] like that absolutely you're inherently breeding that toxicity why why that's it's like it's not getting you anything and that that's why the conics matter so much for me too cuz it's like it's not like a funny story about how they like cried because they like took an edible and cried on the roller coaster Disneyland like that would be right that would be funny like I'm literally also fair but like I'm trying I'm like imagining all the scenarios like yeah yeah thank you dropping ketchup and I'm like wait I tot I literally have I cried on California Adventure one time like the or sorn over Cal you know like over the world like I've literally cried on that ride like three times was during the part about the polar bears 100% it was during the part the [ __ ] polar bears y the ice was melting leave my um go this is not a plug Disney if you ever want to sponsor hm hm us I'll hm her and then invite me to your fuing Park um but absolutely anytime your partner's crying man or woman that has to be something sacred that has to be something that especially when it comes from a very sad it's not a funny it's not a prank it's not like something mental bre you're having a [ __ ] mental goddamn breakdown some things should be sacred like something should be even if you even if that was the moment maybe that you realize you weren't in love with him not because he was crying but maybe because of all these other things like I'm talking about not even this situation but like worst case scenario like you just don't you don't make fun of anyone a woman or man for showing their emotions in a way that doesn't include putting their fist in the [ __ ] wall right like God God bless men who can cry God bless men who can cry like I love men who are as emotional as I am like they I cry when I'm happy I cry when I'm sad I cry when I don't know what the [ __ ] going on I cry when I do know what's going on most of the time wish I was ignorant ignorance this but I agree like that's enough too for me it's like it's like don't now I don't want to show my for him right now I don't want to show you my emotions anymore now I don't want to go to you is this going to be he can't trust her AB lit can't trust her sharing feelings and it's like yeah okay she got the ick from you cry but like it does beg a bigger conversation then how are you going to react if I am in this position again are you going to support me are you going to talk [ __ ] to your friends again how are we going to raise any potential kids if we want them are we going to allow our boys to cry or you going to say no that's embarrassing shut the [ __ ] up little Robbie like what does that look like for us in a big picture so I totally think he's valid and I think this begs a very serious conversation especially you're seven years in that's that's an insane amount of time to be with someone and you're kind of like now like the rugs pulled out from underneath you yeah and and the fact that also I think that he's hearing it like three people down the line is is also it's a bigger conversation because if she had said it in passing when he was there like among company thinking genuinely that it wasn't a big deal or whatever yes it's still bad and still you should talk about it but like what else have you been saying to people about me like why who were you talking to what was like you know what I mean like I I don't I don't want to hear what the people that I love are saying about me behind my back from my sister that's wild and crazy and I it's just indicative like I I hate like trust is just broken because I'm like there should always again like like I said there should always be a line no matter what you can make mistakes you can talk [ __ ] right like if you talk [ __ ] to your best friend about how your husband e a [ __ ] [ __ ] last week and D whatever all this stuff it's like you're still there's still always going to be a line that you don't cross that you don't say that like you're never going to make fun of your partner for [ __ ] crying no top comment on this one one with 3.1k up votes so this potential wife is someone that you will lean on heavily as a spouse marriage is not a Disney movie you need to know this woman will have your back if you lose your job if you have a terrible accident if you have children that are non- typically physically or mentally if you basically don't have sunshines and rainbows every day I like the other response where someone said to make her red green flag List have you two really been through challenges together or has she only been with you through smooth sailing it's how you face challenges together that determine your success and you need to know you can trust her not the [ __ ] because your gut is telling you something important yep trust your gut you have to trust your gut I know someone replies to that comment and goes having felt more alone with my ex-husband than I do now actually alone you are absolutely correct uhhuh and that that like that's my biggest fear like in life it's like it's like is is commit Comm commment I'm a Sagittarius like stop no it's not commitment but it's it's it's tying yourself to someone or something anything a location or a job or a place just because you want you you want to feel Community you want to feel like you're not alone and then it does the exact opposite for you and you just feel even more isolated and you also feel like yes you want to be loved but you want to be understood and seen before you're loved honestly and clearly there's a disconnect you can love someone for seven years that's such a long time but if they're not if they don't see you and understand you on a level where they're you know like this wouldn't be sacred then thank you next but that's easier said than done that's easier than done it totally is there's a comment here that op does respond to the person says ask yourself do you feel that her reaction was a socially constructed response that she'll be able to overcome with introspection or is this an embedded personality trait if you have kids and your boy cries will his mother think less of him if it's something you believe she can overcome then I suggest Coupes counseling if you believe she'll treat future children or future you this way then please cancel your engagement and Opie goes even if she overcomes this the issue is I don't think I'll ever be able to overcome it I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable crying in front of her and I already feel sort of humiliated that she joked about this with her friend yeah it sounds like he's it it sounds like he's made a decision in his head almost you know and obviously it takes someone who knows someone who knows her very well to like feel that way already I mean without context and without knowing their relationship I would absolutely have wanted even though yes the situation sucks regardless of how you slice it I think it can also be sliced in a way that's much more positive than the worst case scenario of her just talking [ __ ] about him with her friends and it got back you know maybe it was like I'm thinking of scenario right devil's advocate here I'm paid to do it like what if another friend was crying about her boy or like a guy who dumped her situationships like we've all been through and we all hate ourselves enough to go through them um right and she's talking about like I just can't I love everything about and like you're trying to like relate to someone but you're in a really loving relationship and you're like I mean no yeah like is it weird that I got an ick about this or no yeah I mean I got a Nick from my fiance when he cried yes it's still so inappropriate and you totally shouldn't say it and it's rude of her but I don't but like the intention behind something is so important especially in a relationship that's gone on that long and it's not like I don't I'm not sold that like she's a bad person not just cuz she's a woman they can be awful too look at the Mother-in-law from before um but right like I'm not sold that like you could break up and she could be a fine person right it could still mean you break up but I think that she at least he owes it to her maybe after this long to at least let her explain I would agree the context is because then he can walk if he does walk away from the relationship like at she she don't want him to walk away from like someone that he doesn't even know that like it's a lie like no I want you to know everything before you leave well and that's the thing too like if you know this is coming down through the grape vine I would also on her side be upset that my partner didn't at least give our relationship the Dignity of a conversation like toally hear me out hear my side what if this is all a miscommunication and he did like ask hey is this true and she said yes it is it's kind of unclear if context was like really explained but at this point he seems like he's still so upet with it regardless someone does ask here though and I find this Con this whole thing very interesting they go has your sister ever said why she and your fiance don't get along op says yes a few reasons she finds it hard to connect with my fiance because their personalities and lifestyle choices are just very different I've also been spending much less time with my sister than before and my sister has been upfront that she sometimes gets sad about it and wishes she could spend more time with me it all probably started when my fiance made me miss my sister's birthday a few years ago yeah there's something going on here yeah and and yeah and and as a sister blinders the blinders might be coming off I'm a sister I I have a really close relationship with my siblings my older brother my younger sister my older brother and I are only 2 and a half years apart and like the episode of yours talking about the the [ __ ] the fiance who was like how dare you I think you're going to hook up with your sister and the sister was like 9 years old that literally had sent me into a [ __ ] orbit but right I think that your sibling if you're close with them they are the only ones who've been with you literally since jump they're the only ones who know exactly how you were raised know exactly how you tick you what makes you tick um and when you're close enough right where they invited to birthdays and they want to hang out with each other and like red flags are going off I think yeah like I I like I'm with him if he's this dead set on on ending things I think it sounds like it's the right decision just because like you know missing your sister's birthday if you're close with her because you're solely because of your fiance I I mean yeah that that that is indicative of of a lot I don't [ __ ] with that nope I would love to know my brother better come to my [ __ ] birday I would love to know the other stuff or like I would love for the sister to find this and like write in and be like no like his fiance's actually been terrible and here's everything she's done like I I love when other people find the story and then share their side I love the plot when it develops are you kidding especially a Twist I know mean I mean I love anyone else's life imploding other than mine unfortunately I literally my entire job is to help others implode I feel attacked properly no stop I feel attacked your life is great if that's not the reason we're all here I don't know what what what is our takes are hot our love lives are cold not hers but mine welcome back oh moving along another one of this week's Partners is Lumi as you guys know I'm notorious for forgetting to put on my deodorant and of course I did the other day on the way to a big concert outside in 90° heat and I was panicking luckily Justin's mom was still at the house and was able to grab my Lumi travel size that I just bought earlier that day at Target and bring it to the concert if it weren't for that Lumi I never would have been able to dance with my arms up having a good time at that show Lumi works for up to 72 hours and you can use it everywhere Lumi is also baking soda free paraben free and it's ph balanced there's no need to be stinky or just feel gross not when you have Lumi Lumi starter pack is perfect for new customers it comes with a solid Stick deodorant cream deodorant two free products of your choice like mini body wash and deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for listeners new customers get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code and if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack that equals over 40% off their starter pack use code tht for 15% off your first purchase at lumid deodorant.com that's code th HT L Deo o d o r nt.com Story 6 AITA for giving my daughter a breakdown of what it cost to raise her when she asked me for her university funds? last but not least for us this one is coming from am I the [ __ ] it is titled am I the [ __ ] for giving my daughter a breakdown of what it cost to raise her when she asked me for her University funds my daughter Ava was a handful growing up her dad passed away when she was five and even with therapy she was a very angry child I still love her very much she is my daughter and I would do anything for for her that I can her dad didn't have a lot of insurance but enough to pay off a small house and top up my daughter's 529 education fund I kept adding to it over the years not much but as I could when she was 11 I met and married my husband I thought Ava was okay with it she never brought up any problems to me or in our therapy sessions however she was not okay with it when she was 13 she accused him of something inappropriate I called the cops immed imediately he was arrested and he lost his job he was innocent she did it to get rid of him we divorced I was obviously heartbroken I did my best not to take it out on her I did punish her she started acting out she got expelled from school then another school I ended up having to send her to a private school even with a voucher it was expensive it worked though she's graduating this year with honors and a scholarship she asked me about the money in her account I said it was all gone she got very upset because her scholarship won't cover all of the cost even with financial aid she will still be paying a fair amount I said I would coign a student loan for her whatever she needs she said that she wanted to know where the money went that I wasted so I got out a pen and paper and I wrote it all down the cost of my divorce the rising cost of living that I paid for by myself since I didn't have a partner her tuition and fees for private school by the end she was crying and saying that I was blaming her for everything I've never blamed her I did punish her for the trouble she caused with my ex but I think that was reasonable she is upset that she will have to take out a loan I also made it very clear that I would not be responsible for paying it back she thinks I'm being cruel by saying that she is responsible for stupid things she did as a child I'm not saying that though but I cannot pull the money I had to spend because of her out of my ass so am I the [ __ ] yes but I'm saying this why am I scared no yes because a 13-year-old making something up like that right to presumably in her mother's mind get him get this guy out of the picture is an extremely wild thing to say because children 13 right matter how mature 13-year-old is like they understand what con like they understand at that age like when I was 13 like I would understand that there would be consequences to that I want more elaboration on what we have knowing that she made it up right because I don't I don't even [ __ ] around with questioning child victims even in like a random Reddit post unless there's something more to it than just the mom's opinion on her making it up you know because we so many stories I mean there was a massive story in the news of a very extremely I forget her name right now um you know woman in literature who who run the Nobel Prize and her daughter came out years lat after she had and literally said yeah no she I reported to my mom that my stepdad was abusing me and she did nothing and she did nothing and then she was writing all these inspirational you know novels and things about like young girls and childhoods and all this stuff like she was seen as like feminist icon and then behind the scen she was you know completely discrediting her daughter so like I hesitant to be like yeah [ __ ] your daughter what a [ __ ] because well how do we know it didn't happen yeah it's really tough I mean it it's crazy that a 13-year-old would be so diabolical to just like make that up but at the same time like there has been other stories and I don't know if this was a patreon or not our patreon fam is making a list so this will be easier for me soon but there was a story where this child did not want a sibling and so this child and 9-year-old or 11-year-old or something pushed their mom down the stairs to end the pregnancy see I there's so there are there aren't so many there are very few stories like that that's why it's so horrifying of children doing very extreme Psychopathic things where either they genuinely don't have something in their brain that we all have that that triggers empathy or they just genuinely don't understand the consequences of their actions a lot of times when kids are very adolescent very immature they don't understand if they do something you know 1al um like putting your hand over a stove that will burn you like that's something that you right comes comes a little later totally believable like that could happen but right like what like why wouldn't she have followed like the op have followed up like with saying she made it all up with like explanation on how they know that did she admit to making it all up yes so we do have we have so many comments from the comment tried to read you're like [ __ ] right the ultimate question is am I the [ __ ] well I also do think right if you still stood by your child if she made it let's say she made it all up right but you stood by your kid and you know you had to take out all this money from her fund to to pay for all these things and you still love her etc etc and your kid is you know demanding this money now whatever all of that I mean I don't necessarily think in any scenario regardless of how much you want your kid to understand like I don't think that making your kid feel bad about their existence is helpful in the long run I think that giving your kid like giving your kid a notorized list of every single expense that took out from the fund yeah um like I don't think I don't think that's really necessary I think you just be like look like I had to pay like break broad Strokes like I had to pay for the divorce I had to pay for this I had to pay for that I was a single mom I couldn't afford this stuff um you know I would love to help you but I can't but then it's also like well if you like I don't know I yeah I will say like knowing just initial post cuz I haven't gotten into these comments at all um I just I mean the post was in itself in itself a lot to unpack yeah yeah but like I feel like for me hearing this you know she is 18 now I don't think the mom is necessarily the [ __ ] for giving her this breakdown it's it's kind of like that harsh reality it just it is what it is yeah could she have maybe like sugarcoated it a little bit for the 18-year-old who is you know now just an adult and going off to college yeah but at the same time this girl this is kind of the reality we're living in and she maybe needs to hear this like your actions have these long lasting consequences and you're going to have to pay for college like a lot of Regular People sweetie that's fair that's actually really fair not actually that is really fair that's very fair and it's fair because if if if if everything that thep said is true then then the reality that's going to hit you like a [ __ ] truck when you do have consequences for your actions whether it be lying about someone's Behavior or abuse or you know having to pay your way um yeah no you're you're going to the consequences are going to sucker punch you and so maybe this absolutely was exactly what this daughter needed I mean it's it's just kind of I could see I I could see how that could be helpful in the sense of hey so like I'm going to give you a lesson in like how much things cost as well I think that's really helpful private school like you got kicked out and you you got look you got kicked the [ __ ] out um and also like in high school curriculum regardless of whether you're private or public in America at least in this country you're never like you aren't taught basic like this is how much taxes are this is how much going to be taken out of your paycheck this is how much [ __ ] costs this how much a car payment is right that's how much apartment is in this area if you'd like to live around here and if your parents don't teach you that right or if you aren't exposed to it young and she's already kind of being you know if her her attitude is very much like I'm entitled to you to like pay my way then yeah I think a dose of a little receipt maybe is helpful for sure you changed me you spun me well and I think it was the way she the daughter kind of came at the mom too where it's like well where is all this money you wasted it it wasn't a it wasn't a look I need help but I know you have this fund like why can't I have it in a very you know because if there was if my parents had a fund in my [ __ ] name that was literally titled like Reb education fund for her college education and I thought in my head that they were like holding on to it when I didn't want to take out loans right like I wanted to focus on school I would absolutely be like hey not saying that I'm entitled but like what's up with that right like what's up with that but I yeah I just I think that the way that she approached it is very is is very much also showing her immaturity yeah and the daughter has a right to be upset like I get it's probably a shock you're you're going through school and you're excited to go to college and have a free ride the mom's like I'm upset I've been through it they're both just you know they're going through it but let's get into some of these comments from op so people are asking like how do you know that she wasn't telling the truth like charges were dropped whatever but like still what if she was telling the truth so op responds the police investigated the charges were dropped for lack of evidence also there was evidence that what she claimed was impossible I will give one example my ex worked in his truck she claimed he came home during the day his truck had a Tracker from his employer and a camera that showed he was on the other side of the city yeah so a lot of comments um I had a partner he made a good living with him here I could have saved more I could not have spent that money on her High School on her high school then I used the money for her education people are asking about the ex is he okay you know things like that my ex is okay we still talk he got a new job he is still angry he wants nothing to do with her uh Opie says she got him arrested and caused him to lose his job by line should he be happy about it and have stuck around to fund her life do you think it was easy for me to start a relationship with a man after they found out what she did mhm cuz that's true too like this daughter's with your life for your life not you you marry the the kid too for sure and I think too like clearly the mom was doing something before that even happened she heard that kid was in therapy with her right in she mentioned like in therapy she never said had a problem with this relationship Etc and that's also like the and yes of course like we're talking about a child right like look like the amount of times I was 13 beefing with a 45-year-old teacher please you know what I mean and then now that I'm older I'm like what the [ __ ] was like why was she why why was she beefing with me though I was like it wasn't that serious but right this is obviously much bigger than that um and the way that a 13-year-old or even earlier right because it's like yeah 13 was when this all think happened but let's assume that they started dating before then it wasn't probably a two-day romance they she was probably 10 11 12 let's say like what what was coming up in like you know what I mean like how is this not coming up in therapy of her just like not talking about her negative feelings toward this relationship and and if that never came up then after this thing all this all happened then like you have a sit down conversation with your daughter and say look like I'm really [ __ ] mad at you I love you forever but really mad and angry because what like why why didn't you not just why did you do this because we clearly know why why didn't you tell me beforehand like of course I want you to be happy as a mother when you're dating someone for sure I know so many parents who moms who were single parents who were dating again and they were like no like unless my daughter's out of the house like I do not want to make her uncomfortable even if I think this is love in my life then he'll wait around right until she's 18 why didn't her daughter just like why didn't you feel safe enough to tell me that but you feel safe enough to expose my ex for like something you never did it's clearly you don't have a confidence issue no and it begs the question of like is she okay in the head because that is very diabolical Psychopathic just because sociopath Psychopathic like you don't have there's no empathy there like even if you didn't like this person he didn't deserve that he didn't deserve it yeah and your mom didn't deserve that um I mean good I mean these are outliers good on the mother for believing her child because there are so many too many cases of par who do not believe they're damn kid listen to your kid your kid your kid is not this they 99% of the time will not be the ones making it up just to get what they want oh my God no but why it's so that's why it's so crazy because because kids at 13 like they're not this diabolical typically and they're not thinking that far ahead of like y like yeah and she did the right thing she protected her kid as any parent should do in this situation and I think that if that would have happened again she would have done the same exact thing exactly of course there so many comments from op I will be sure to link this post um there's a comment here people are accusing her of stealing this money and she goes how did I steal the money when I used it for her education um she basically implying like no I I still think he did it blah blah blah blah and she goes no I think the cops and my ex's lawyers proved pretty conclusively that she was lying and she admitted it so there's that yeah I was waiting for that too I believed my daughter would you have taken a chance exact yeah so it's like good on the mom good on the mom this is surprising we have an update on this one oh okay I did not know this existed I was so nervous and excited update I'm not yay like Yay people suffering but you get it give me give me the tea yeah thank you all for the comments even the ones where you called me a raving [ __ ] for calling the cops after my daughter's allegations [ __ ] those people first my ex was completely cleared he was never home at the time she alleged the sa we have security cameras in my house there are exactly zero videos of him entering her room or being an appropriate with her in the common areas I've already commented on the other evidence that got the charges against my ex dropped she admitted the truth and said that she was doing it to get him out of our house he is doing okay now he has a new job and he and I still talk her excuse was that she didn't think I would immediately call the cops she thought I would just kick him out since it is my house she felt trapped and like she couldn't back down she has never apologized to him she has been in therapy since she was five both on her own and with me to my knowledge she never mentioned anything about sa to her therapist and they are mandated reporters second I told her that I will not be co-signing her loans I told her that I will be backing her up and doing my best to make sure that she does not default but I'm not risking my home or my future for her she fully understands now where her savings went she is is upset with herself mostly now she realizes that the private school was my last choice and only necessary because of choices she made thank you all for your help third since I do not care about Karma I will be giving this account to either blah blah blah or blah blah blah tomorrow they are welcome to delete the post or sell the account for the 0.59 it is worth interesting I've never heard of that but thanks for the details that okay I I mean yeah I I think the complexities of parenting this one is as comp as complex as you can get it's but I think that that is a fair decision you know like you want for her to want to still be in her daughter's life and love her kid despite the horrible things she did oh my God I mean what do you do it's still your baby like yeah and you don't want them to fail right you don't want you don't want to set them up to fail but I don't think withholding as much financial support as you could possibly conjure isn't necessarily setting up your kid to fail no and they got to land on their own two feet yeah and I think like you know there's so many people out there that do all of this on their own they come to this country on their own they establish themselves on their own they have to go to college and pay for it on their own like I didn't have help paying for college I had some help with dorm and things like that but I have the student loans to back it up like that is kind of a normal thing she might realize she doesn't want to go to college and she can pursue other things like your parents aren't necessarily responsible for paying for your education the fact that she was willing to sign was really generous but I do think that's a little bit of a risk those Perkins loans or whatever the hell they are Perkins plus like that's a scary thing if you can't pay it off and your parent could lose their house right that's scary right and and and definitely you know you have to trust your kid as much as your kid supposed to trust you when they get to an adult age especially right like the the power Dynamic shifts and you can't just put your livelihood and your house everything at risk on a kid that isn't that trustworthy and a kid that probably isn't going to you know follow through on their on on the on their obligations their promises whatever and I think it's fair for to big of a risk and yeah and trust is built regardless of how much you love your child and and and especially adult children it's just a different Dynamic yeah I do appreciate the fact that she is now realizing like oh this is because of what I did she cried not that like Psychopaths can't cry but right like when her mom was telling her this like I think that of also of course like her mom's the one telling the story you know I mean yes her daughter did something horrible um if all of that's true but you know I think that the depth or level the depth or level of that daughter's remorse could very much be also experienced in private like maybe she's feeling really guilty on the side like maybe she's having a come coming to Jesus moment yeah um we can only hope and you also like in that update she did say she was too scared to back down like the 13-year-old got the ball rolling and it's one of those things like oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] you're 13 you don't know that you're not going to get in trouble if you say oh I was lying you think you have to keep it going right not to excuse any of what she did because she did ruin someone's life this man lost his job he's got a whole workplace that thinks he is a pedophile the social damage from that the financial damage he had to get lawyers he had to do all this to just prove he was innocent like there are multiple lives that were ruined in this whole process but it is does a 13-year-old know what like not I'm not saying does 13 know that all that H will happen but I think what it sounds like is the 13-year-old thought that the only result that would come from this would be him kicked out and his parents broken up no and yes that's a very naive immature thing to think but again she's naive and immature of course she is not excusing what she did but I think that it's much it's much easier to stomach the fact that a 13-year-old could do that because it's not because that the ultimate result was what she had diabolically playing the whole time but it's because the snowball she she's a kid you know I mean I'm imagining like images of like kids you know in middle school age whatever who like get caught get caught just get red in the face no I didn't no I didn't you know and they don't realize cuz they don't have the experience in context yet that you need to just right it's our spiring babes like it's spiraling and you didn't think this was going to happen you need to fall on the sword but with something that big I know how do you teach your kids that like right I mean hey don't yeah like enough Law and Order s spu like you can't well no more Law and Order s spu so you can see how terrible it can you know it can ruin someone's life as it should if they did do those things but I yeah I I think that there's I in this case there might be a finer line between you know a normal kid doing this who very much [ __ ] thoroughly [ __ ] up but like you know I don't think they're necessarily yes for sure a psychopath the kid pushing his mother down the [ __ ] stairs I'm thinking it's PA it's a path it's one of the paths I think they do brain scans on that because he knew what the result would be like they knew what the result would be here I think that she was so [ __ ] naive somehow some way she was naive enough to genuinely believe that this wouldn't happen or she's totally a psycho that's why I mean look I'm I am currently childless and this is going to definitely go in my con column but look listen look and listen believe children yes um because yes it's horrible but you would rather have genuinely as a society just as a voter as a person I would rather have this happen than to have the opposite where there is a path of child victims behind one person who's protected of course and I'm sure the ex has his own thoughts but right like it's it's it's hard yes if you look at you know the outcomes of like believing your kid and like doing a thorough investigation like it's worth it it's worth it and you proved that he was innocent right like that's the thing too is is you know I the mom didn't I would never want any doubt I would never want a single shred of doubt in my [ __ ] mind for something that [ __ ] serious someone touching my child you have to evaluate yeah like yeah and that's why when people are like I just don't want to know or oh no it's probably I'm like okay 100% hate you get your head out of the sand yep well that is so wrong it feels legal definitely that definitely that last one felt legal a few people need sentences they're not they're not legal yet but maybe this is the start laws can change they the the switching twins the sister who gave the the blanket hash wears the blanket hash I would love for that to find this and send me the blanket right here can just be a souvenir please please I'd love that Reb thank you so much for coming on it was amazing thanks for having me where can people find you listen to your podcast again what's your podcast called cuz it's so good rebuttal pod my name is Reb Reb masel so I thought rebuttal would just be cute and kitchy you know whatever um so legally right so legal um yes you can find me everywhere at Reb measel on Tik Tok on Instagram on Twitter um and then rebuttal pod on YouTube uh and you can hear in long form me usually having an opinion and some chat about some people in some cases that are insane give people like one of the craziest cases you've had on your show like what one is like really sticking with you well the one that I've been thinking about a lot recently is um so a dad his son was Mar married a fiance that he didn't like okay the father all right and the father owned like a bunch of apartment buildings and they leased them out so they he had a he was sitting on some pretty big pretty big money pretty big Fortune so so his son marries his wife so of course right like the way that inheritance Works in in California and most places like it's going to go it's going to go to the sun which would then you know his wife would benefit and he hated his son's wife so much that he was like I don't even want her to see a dime so the son okay um did have some drug problems but he got sober uh and then he did have a relapse and he ended up relapsing and overdosing in in his in a hotel room and his dad ended up finding him and so what any loving father would do right when you see your son's body um accidental overdosed in a hotel room is say how can I keep my money safe so he took his son's body and put it behind the wall of one of the apartment complexes that they owned and rented out yep I swear on my life stack of holy Bibles okay hand on a stack of holy um that people were living in right put hid his body behind the wall for 8 years it sat there and what he told the wife right because his wife was like where's my husband he's not coming home that he wanted to start a new life and left and just flew somewhere abroad and and and there was no evidence that he did anything different um so so there was no investigation like anything but right so when the right so the dad's will was set up that all his stuff would go to the sun well like you know he he basically made it made sure um that like anything the son had like it wouldn't go to the right would to the wife um yeah and basically I'm still back at the wall right right the wall yeah so so yeah the sun's body is behind this wall that's behind this [ __ ] wall and it's basically like you know um he just wanted to make sure that whatever money that his son ever got like it wouldn't go to the wife it would go to the son's kids as opposed to like the wife because typically it's like whatever so so so it's this whole thing so it turns out ends up that eight years later um the police show up to the guy's house um and find and he and find he had killed himself the father had killed himself at his home and they found um the son's body behind the wall cuz they were like something [ __ ] smells in here uh father's dead the sun's body's behind the wall and there's a will that's written on a shitty piece of napkin like like literally like someone just like threw it on top of the son's body and it was the son's will I say with quotes giving everything that he owned to um I think someone else like someone else okay not the wife being like nothing for my wife bye love Gretchen weeners bye like literally like heart okay so the case the case that this is okay is not a murder case it's not anything like that it's a Will's trust in a state's case because this case went up to the California Court of Appeal on what whether this will qualified and could be entered in well but of course the the husband's estate and the son's estate are two different things um of course the husband's estate is going to claim oh no you know what I mean like he left all the money to me I'm pretty sure it like went like in a circle and per per the son's will like it was supposed to go back into the husband's estate or some [ __ ] like that so so so the representative of the sons estate was like no it's a Goodwill cuz like you know I don't know it's a Goodwill and so his wife was like no it's not it's not a Goodwill so but right you have to prove this [ __ ] so so there was a bunch of reasons why like the way that the wife was referenced he never called her by her full first name it was always like a nickname first name and like she only used her full name certain times but he was using her full name the entire right throughout the entire world do you see how there's like and also like the signature was a little weird like the phrasing was also weird and also like he spelled one person's name wrong so it's literally like a like it is very interesting right and it would be super interesting like you're like wait what right there were literally because the court has to go through all the factors of like okay why would this be fake like we have to prove it because Will's are accepted you could write in blood against a side of a tractor which someone did in Canada and it was accepted I give everything to my wife as he was laying dying and it was it was seen as as a Goodwill it was it was totally fine because because right there are only a few factors you need for a will you don't need a witness you don't need a notary you don't need any of that [ __ ] all you need to doit that crazy is that [ __ ] crazy what you don't need like people always ow witness a notary notaries you don't need you don't need those for a [ __ ] will okay you need you need basically for the enough proof in most cases to to show that you wrote it that it's actually your last will in Testament and that you signed it in some way right some way should reform and that's not legal advice okay there's other factors and [ __ ] but like right you don't people always think like oh you need two wines there's yes that's a general rule but there's always exceptions to the rule and we call them holographic Wills know when they kind of are like Rogue Wills where we're like are we going to accept this like under extreme circumstances and it's we're I mean that's why I love the law so much cuz I'm like of course we're going to conform the law to situations that you're right if someone's riding their [ __ ] will and blood on the side of a tractor we should maybe pause before giving all of their money an estate to somebody else right like literally you could find and it's there's a photo online it's a piece of the tractor um taken and it's in a museum in Canada I swear my life it's so I wanted to say I want to say it's like if he wanted to he would you know what I mean like so cute but it's horrible and like whatever um but right basically long story long the judge at the end was like yeah this will is [ __ ] not correct but also what the [ __ ] like is story the kids get taken care of then yeah like they the wife ended up getting the estate you know the way it passed whatever like there was no will so it wouldn't Pro like you know or you know passed normally um but right like isn't isn't that like he hated this [ __ ] so bad and there was no proof that she ever was like like he didn't dislike her for a reason right he just [ __ ] didn't like her like there was no reason he didn't like her my God and they have kids like you have grandkids so you want to make sure they're taking care of no no no he wanted to do it himself like he didn't want her to touch a single dime a single dizzy which I which which is like Petty levels that I don't think I'm ever going to reach and hope never to but imagine my parents and it was an apartment in Berkeley and people who have listened to that episode It's called The Body behind the wall they're like I no literally got DMS literally cuz I have photos up on the YouTube of like the photo of the [ __ ] apartment it's like a night it's like new this happened in the 2000s by the way this is like 2012 I get this is not like 1970s this is like this like 2008 like this is like early like this is not or this is like could have happened yesterday she was like I [ __ ] live next door you [ __ ] and nobody knows about this they're like I [ __ ] what because it's like why would that make the news because you have to understand Wills be a lawyer they said so is that wild what the [ __ ] you're like can you give us like a two second with like summary of the case and I'm like let me give you 40 minutes no that was incredible I'm like in I'm going to let you come take over my show because I want I want to experience this firsthand like flipflop wow amazing check out the patreon guys cuz there's going to be some stories from this theme heading over there I don't I don't [ __ ] know if they'll top that thank God that story was at the end of the episode now damn right God Lord but thank you again for coming on thanks for having me loved it we are on tour be sure to check out if we're we're coming to your city I'm potentially adding a couple I hear you in the comments of the pose hell yeah so look at that but other than that until next time guys bye bye [Music]