Drop a Pin.. Ft. Hannah Berner || Two Hot Takes Podcast || Reddit Readings

Start just your reminder to subscribe and enjoy this amazing episode with Hannah burner be sure to check out her special on Netflix we ride at dawn and if you want to see us on tour be sure to check out the link in our description for tickets we might be coming to a city near you very soon enjoy the episode I love having you I love being here oh every time you come into the studio I just feel like I'm like you're like my emotional support person I feel like you see me on some of the worst days like truly like the last time you saw me I was having a mental breakdown from hell and it's so funny CU you're you're so Midwest so you have such a cheery just overall vibe that I'm always like she's the happiest person I've ever met you know some days some days no you're the I I also think you're so interesting cuz you literally look like a like just like a cute cartoon character who's always happy but then you have like so many other sides to you that are like fascinating I love you you're just like the ultimate little hype girl you're a horse superhero I know Hannah met the ponies today I met the ponies gorgeous gave them a couple carrots they they were real happy about that I love I feel like talk about emotional therapy animals yeah are they smarter than us I I don't know they're very motivated by food they're really smart they're really smart and they're really emotional horses are really emotional wait that's so funny they know when you're sad oh and they just like cuddle are they Moody yeah very sassy like they're like I woke up on the wrong side of the hay yeah actually actually like they're they're sassy little things I love it ah hi guys welcome back to another episode of two hot takes I'm your host Morgan today we are joined by the amazing Hannah burner thank you for having me again no I hope yall aren't sick of me but I have opinions I have opinions opinions uh amaz am comedy special out right now thank you I literally I went to go watch it and it was like number two and I was like [ __ ] yes you never know with these algorithms you really never know you are doing so well my God thank you well Netflix is also weird cuz I saw it charting and I was like wait is it just my algorithm I charting or like are other people seeing it every it was number two in the world crazy insane but so so deserved like Hannah Works harder than probably anyone I know like non stop go go go multiple podcasts you have giggly Squad Friend R away from my thoughts I think it's once you find something that's fun you're like okay let's just let's do it because otherwise I feel like I have no purpose I I love a to-do list I love check even if it's little things check that [ __ ] off I know I went to sleep I went to Home Depot and I had a list of items and I was like oh shovel yep hook check I sound like I'm going to kill someone I'm not I know like what body are you bearing but I just felt so good I'm like okay this is what it feels like better than sex is like cross that I'll just write a little thing to just cross it off and be like Ugh she's just accomplishing things I need to do that gave horse carrot check like little things make it attainable yeah I love that today's theme I mean your whole special and everything you've been doing lately is like very for the girls for the people we ride at dawn like you are just there about like helping the people like you you know so today's theme I have for you is drop a pen so these are people that they might need our help they got to drop a pen or you know I want to be in on the fun too I want to see that freak out so drop the pin we're going to we're going to roll up let's do it we ride at dawn for them we ride at dawn let's go let's dive [Music] Story 1 AITA for returning my wife’s shoes? in okay this first one it is coming from am I the [ __ ] it is titled am I the [ __ ] for returning my wife's shoes my wife was at the doctor's office for our baby's twoe checkup when I stumbled upon new purchases in her closet as in shoes flipflops sandals Etc that looked pretty close to the ones she already had in the closet that she had bought earlier this year in preparation I guess for summer except that the shoes were much bigger than the ones she had had previously this is our first baby and to be honest what I noticed more than anything is the fact that her feet have gotten swollen wider and longer as the pregnancy progressed it has been a big mood killer for me and it's made worse by the fact that my mom Compares pregnancy feet to a loaf of bread and I can only visualize her feet like that now but more than that my mom said that feet are supposed to shrink after pregnancy and that weight loss is a big part of it so I was upset that my wife just spent all this money on new shoes when she barely goes anywhere outside of either her bedroom or our baby's room and should be gunning for weight loss instead of throwing in the towel I thought that it was an impulse purchase that in the end was going to waste money and disincentivize her to lose weight and look for solutions for her swollen feet as a result I ended up taking the shoes back and getting refunds now my wife is pissed and I feel like she's just going to refuse to lose weight out of spite am I the [ __ ] I can't help feeling not attracted to her and unfortunately the state of her feet is something I notice very clearly and I'm also still mad that she used my money without permission and I'm tempted to cut up the credit cards she uses if she's going to impulse bu so am I the [ __ ] I need to throw that computer across the room I'm enraged I don't know if I've ever been so one-sided on one of these these let's go pop off girl well Al I have so many questions there's so many red flags why are you talking to your mom that much why are you a grown man asking your mom all these questions about your wife's feet that's insane also unreal when it your wife just birthed your child and wants two we old baby two week old baby and wants to feel comfortable walking around also okay I get it if they were like Louis Vuitton I don't think they were Louis Vuitton they sound like Target flip hops I just want to say Louis Vuitton they're they're def I'm I'm giving maybe $50 Max you should be [ __ ] doing everything you can to make your wife feel as comfortable as possible she didn't go behind your back and she might have been a little embarrassed and also swollen feet is not the same as like losing weight it's retention from the pregnancy let's go we ride at dawn for this woman how many times did he mention weight it was crazy she needs to lose weight I hope she's not disincentivized to not lose weight now she's going to not lose weight out of spite it's giving like he has like a weird foot fetish right that well his whole like they're longer they're what my husband doesn't even notice if I get a pedicure also if you're worried about her her feet being swollen massage them massage them retrograde massage baby come on like be a participant in this also like thinking of worrying the most about your wife's feet when you've just had two babies it's like thank God she's healthy thank God the I hope the babies are healthy there's so many more things if we're going to be worried about something I'm really not happy with this man no the other part that really irks me is the financial abuse comment I'm mad that she spent my money on this no sir if you have a stay-at-home wife and you're choosing to have your partner stay home to take care of your childh that is your money MH the financial abuse and I'm sorry if my partner cut up a credit card because I bought a couple pairs of shoes divorce dealing with this like coming home from having a baby and being like oh where's my sandals that fit my feet and he's like I went out and returned what in that time you could have massaged my feet and done whatever freaky [ __ ] you want to do to my feet cuz clearly that's all you're obsessing about all he sees are loaves of bread also little sour dough who doesn't like a loaf of bread what's wrong with you sir I love bread get out some bread and butter and let's go I would take a bagette right now with some Buffalo butter oh have you had Buffalo butter no the best butter there ever is like from Buffalo yeah apparently they can milk those things what next thing you know you're going to have a buffalo in your backyard with the two horses honestly don't put it past me don't put it past me I want a donkey really bad want like buffalo sauce butter no like Buffalo cuz that's some white trash [ __ ] buffalo sauce butter Buffalo oh yeah cool I don't know I don't know how they get it butk can be done it can be done okay now we're hungry but no I I'm like really I'm like at divor Force Level with that man I am too I think there's a lot of concerning red flags and I do think if you are concerned about your wife's feet like talk to where a buy or pedicure do something about it but like people's feet don't usually get smaller like I don't know if this is like my feet get bigger in the summer just cuz it's hot out that and the more you work on your feet like your feet do change over time like when I was a flight attendant and I was on my feet non-stop or working retail my feet did change they got a little bigger I went up a half size also I'd love to see his [ __ ] feet they probably look disgusting I don't see your [ __ ] hairy toe knuckle I have a hairy toe knuckle I um I one time went to a pedicure spot and the lady just started tweezing my toe hair unsolicited see I love that I'd be like thank you I mean painful I was so embarrassed but I love I love that she didn't ask that was nice of her she didn't want to embarrass me yeah she didn't want to say it out loud I'll get a lot of like I'll beginning a facial and they're like do you want me to get a little bit of your mustache off and I said yes ma'am oh my God those chin hairs they come in so hot belly goat oh my God I had a joke that I said I was like live life like a chin hair when someone triy to take you out come back stronger than ever if that isn't accurate we right at dawn oh my God I need that on a t-shirt yeah it is funny or a coffee mug it's so motivational it is because they will come back stronger every time and darker darker they started out blonde now they're black and then Tik Tok tries to tell you you have like a hormonal imbalance I'm like no I think I'm just a girl with a a chin hair that I get to play with when I'm like spacing out my God I know and if I find it when I'm driving I just sit there and I just try to the whole car ride just to it's so hard to get it but when you do like cross it off your to-do list it's so satisfying why why are we like this oh God we went off on a tan top comment on this one I really hope you're a troll because if not you're a huge [ __ ] and a terrible husband thank you she gave up her figure to bring your child into the world 2 weeks ago her shoes do not fit her this wasn't an Impulse bu it was a necessity you do not have the right to threaten her with financial abuse because she had the audacity to want shoes that fit her guess what Buttercup when my mom was pregnant her feet grew two sizes all caps and never went back down despite the fact that she lost weight you suck and you're the [ __ ] wait I love how she threw Buttercup in there or he knows guess guess what Buttercup butterup and start saying that okay Buttercup okay Buttercup okay Buttercup okay yeah sure Buttercup I think it's better than sweetie yeah sweetie yeah this is like the new this is upgraded sweetie this is Elite level no that did he like just maybe he has like a a kink where he wants people to call him an [ __ ] o I could see that we have some de what's that big word yeah degra degradation degradation next that sounded like something people do in like a lawn I degreg my lawn it does actually it can go along with irrigation yeah it does I got some new degreg in my lawn Look At You Look At You yard work Hannah farmer Hannah farmer Hannah I could see you being a farmer I do want to have like a cat dog Sanctuary one day and be a painter in a farm you have it you have that it's in me I see it it wants to come out the overalls with like the paint all over it yes I'm just like and I'm always really busy but I actually have nothing to do yes I I want that for you more than anything you need a vacation selling the paintings I'm just like I have to finish this painting yeah oh I love that okay moving along okay let's lighten it up a little bit let's lighten Story 2 AITAH for Agreeing With My Niece Being Booed at Her Sister’s Wedding And Then Later Putting Her in Check? it up this next one is coming from am I the [ __ ] it is titled am I the [ __ ] for agreeing with my niece being food at her sister's wedding and then later putting her in check I have two nieces and one recently got married the other one is pregnant with her first child at the reception she used her toast time to announce her pregnancy my niece is selfish like that and has always stolen the spotlight she always got away with it though because she was the favorite well she didn't get away with it this day the groom's family and friends immediately booed her loudly the best man groom's brother said on the mic how dare she use his brother's wedding to announce that and quote this day is not about you the booing changed to Applause and not just from his family and friends I clapped too my selfish niece and her husband left out of embarrassment I went to the bride to check on her and hug her that's when I found out my niece had asked the bride for permission to announce it weeks ago quote because it's practical since the whole family will be there but the bride had said no she wanted that day to be about her and her husband this made me very glad that I clapped later on my selfish niece sent me a text message blasting me for clapping while she was being humiliated I ignored it she called me the next day and blasted me but this time I told her she deserved it I told her I knew her sister asked her not to announce anything quote but you had to make about you like always then she had the nerve to tell me quote she's always been your favorite niece and while that's true that pushed me over the edge I told her quote she the bride had to be someone's favorite since you held that title with both of your parents unlike you she has a kind and selfless spirit that she'll pass on to her first child then I told her I don't want to hear from her until she grew the [ __ ] up and apologized to her sister then I hung up now I'm all kinds of [ __ ] to my sister their mom and other family members for clapping and for my words over the phone I don't regret the Clapping but did I go too far over the [Laughter] phone wait I love that the groom's family stood up for her like that is was that's actually the most romantic thing I've ever heard iconic and obviously I feel like there are multiple sides to the story cuz she's really making this one girl seem like the most horrible human that's ever walked this Earth veroa Salt Vibes just spoiled brat yes if the facts are true though that like she the bride said no also it's crazy to ask that um and then you did it out of it was convenient which that's not a good excuse and you still did it like you do deserve it I do feel like if you're going to clap then you are asking for a little drama so like their responses are valid too um but I do think that she made a point and you you did you girl you like St on your ground say it with your chest absolutely you got told no and you still went ahead with it MH looks like you're dealing with the consequences now exactly that's how it works babe exactly that's how it works Buttercup how it works Buttercup come on that's such crazy behavior also the whole like favorite niece thing like okay look I know like we'll joke in my family and be like oh like I got got a lot of attention on this or like yeah my grandpa really loved me but like it's not that obvious and it's not true it's a joke so the fact that they like have a ranking system and she's she's like you always thought she was the favorite like what that's so strange come on your family your sisters yeah it's giving golden child and scapegoat like she was The Golden Child and now that like she got put in her place and wasn't fond over she's losing it because this has never happened to her you know what this is kind of reactive abuse a little bit for the aunt because it's like she's reacting to what the girl was doing and everyone's mad at her for her reaction let's focus on what the niece did yeah your sister's wedding is not a family reunion it's not a time to make it about you you are there for quite literally one reason yes your sister and don't project your embarrassment and blame it on your aunt for clapping cuz that was just a reaction to the [ __ ] yep yep top comment on this one not the [ __ ] but now I'm wondering if the bride had a feeling her sister would make the announcement anyways and suggested the booing to her new in-laws and hubby's friends I don't care if she did I don't care if she did she probably was embarrassed and knows her sister and was like hey just warning you guys this might happen and if it happens like I'm not going to be happy so she basically made sure that she had people there to try to save the moment for her still which is what what like everyone does at weddings like oh hey can you keep an eye on my Aunt Sally she after a couple drinks she's going to start talking about so and so's you know security you know watch out for Sally she might she might try to have an affair everyone does that like that's you kind of have those people that come to your weddings or baby showers or whatever like that's normal good for her for being proactive and making sure people had her back cuz her own sister sure [ __ ] didn't it definitely is a quality of families where like someone's known to make it about them always and it's like I definitely have had these situations where someone's like hey so and so tends to make it about them and we'll be somewhere important and someone suddenly like is always like sick or like they're they you know something happened that they're not telling people about but it's like to get the attention on them and you're like how many it's like becomes a pattern but but then I sometimes like have empathy for them cuz I'm like what Happ that you can't not have people worrying about you all the time or like praising you all the time like deep down you really need that yeah and and it's funny cuz with me obviously I love attention but I like hated wedding attention re I know I remember you telling me attention like I I heard that story and I was like wait I would have loved someone else to make it no because I want to like my own demons are like I want to earn people's attention I want be like I don't know if I like her and be like me the m and let me win you over but like meing people to come and like celebrate me I get like it makes me unsettled even though like everyone obviously is excited but like yeah I'm I'm like a people Pleasers so the whole time like are you guys having fun is everyone are we having fun are you having fun we should unpack that more later yeah you are worthy of love and attention without working for it no one likes when people sing happy birthday for them I feel like that's a a lie I feel like it's the most awkward first of all difficult song to sing why is it so hard why did they put such a high note in the most popular song in America I would love to use the Spanish version because I feel like that's a little easier my God so and it's so much more of light and fun on yes why bring that out bring that out make that the standard CU way easier that's so funny no yeah I never know what to do with my hands everyone's staring at you everyone okay might wait I don't want to ruin it for you but like I personally like I will fight to the death for people not to sing Happy Birthday I do like the Applebee's version happy happy birthday from all of us to you we wish it was our birthday so we could celebrate to how many times do you think they prank your friend and that you're like it's my friend's birthday when it's not just so they get the song probably pretty often yeah I think it's the move but it comes with free dessert so like a win is a win a win is a win someone has a sacrifice I'm going to really think about this happy birthday now I I think the most awkward is when you don't know someone's name and you get to the name part and you're like happy birthday or they have a nickname you're like are we saying the nickname are we not yeah but actually let's be honest thinking back I would not be happy if someone announced their pregnancy at my wedding it's just disrespectful tacky it's tacky it's disrespectful it's mean and also like this [ __ ] already got married and no one did that at her wedding no and you're going to have a baby shower so that's your day not this one oh my God booing is so funny like she we need to boo more we need bringo we need to boo more I think honestly physical tomatoes tomato I was going to say tomato tomato tomato but also this is like just like it's a learning lesson for that I'm I'm like excited that this happened to that woman so that and but in this moment instead of projecting it all the issue onto your aunt be like what did I do wrong in this situation how can I learn from it yeah and she needs to like have a really big formal apology yeah and I think they'll be able to move forward from it I think so it can be lesson if she reacts to it the right way I think so and I hope it's a character development cuz you know you're about to have a baby sis like you got to get some good quag that kid older be like you want to know about before you were born you were booed you were booed from the B you're the boo baby I um I would like a pin drop so I can see the video in person oh my God please if you're out there bride please post this on Tik Tok I know someone was recording those speeches but it's that will end the the relationship ship between the sisters if it goes viral just send it to me or sometimes honestly cutting ties is sometimes very healthy well no contact I could see it a couple years I could see it at pece I love that sometimes nice moving along one of this week's Partners is skims think about how often you're wearing clothes a lot and there's nothing worse than clothes that don't have good Fabrics or itchy scratchy tags are rubbing on you maybe I'm just a sensory person but I want to be in clothes that are comfortable that are versatile I can wear them lounging on the couch working from home or I could wear them to go run errands and get groceries that is what you're going to get with the skim soft Lounge collection whether it's the soft Lounge slip dress the lounge tank and boxer set my personal go-to or the soft Lounge sleep set every piece is so flattering and just makes you feel good I mean it's got to be a good fit if you can wear a tank boxer set out of the house and I've gotten so many compliments on this set and skims has more than just this soft Lounge collection they've got the perfect t-shirts amazing sculpting bodysuits underwear bras the Bras don't even get me started on the bras we'll talk about those soon but if you're ready to try for yourself shop the skim soft Lounge collection at skims.com now available in sizes extra extra small to 4X if you haven't yet be sure to let them know we sent you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop- down menu that follows thank you do you want to ease into being mad or do you just Story 3 AITA for slapping my husband.. want to like I'm already mad okay we're here okay it is titled am I the [ __ ] for slapping my husband in the face where is this Gonna Go My 43 male husband thinks it's funny to constantly slap me 43 female in the privates all day every day he sneaks up behind me and will stick his fingers in my ass or slap my vagina he does this in front of the kids once or twice is one thing but this is at least 10 times a day tonight I was in the shower washing my face and he came in and slapped my privates he knows I don't like it I've told him I have bad hemorrhoids after having the kids so when he sticks his finger there it hurts he knows this sorry for the TMI but I am pissed after the shower tonight I slapped him in the face not hard but hard enough to sting his reaction was to punch me in the stomach and tell me he wants a divorce for hurting him he's never done that before and in my opinion way overreacted after 11 years of marriage that was a first and he said I'm the [ __ ] meanwhile I'm ready to leave and take the kids tonight I know his reaction was not okay but was I out of line what the [ __ ] wait it's obviously so easy for me to sit back in my chair right now and tell people to leave their husbands cuz it's obviously way more complicated than that but like leave leave your husband immediately take the kids you can stay at my place like we'll figure it out drop the pin we'll come help you move drop the pin I got you what like the that was so layered of so many weird things and it's funny because when you stand up for yourself I feel like sometimes their reaction really like confirms like oh they have really been [ __ ] up this whole time and I was just giving them the benefit of the doubt yes have you heard about reactive abuse yeah I've definitely been the victim of it I I feel like I just you hear about it but like I just really learned about it recently and that's what this kind of feels like it's a form of gaslighting where it's like finally someone reacts and then they're like you're the problem when they were the person that made you so upset was instigating it it's I say like don't judge people based their reaction to trauma ooh yeah I don't always say that but it is a like like how someone reacts to abuse like you can't they're reacting to abuse so you can't like weigh it to the abuse that makes total sense and it just like I'm sitting here like That's So Raven tunneling to like a bunch of moments in my life I'm like oh my God okay like I yeah well that's what they are good at with reality TV because people are just reacting and they're getting all these reactions and then they decide how they want to put it together so you don't always see what people are reacting to so then you could be the one that's considered crazy cuz they show you reacting to something that was different not the abuse that happened before triggered that reaction and then you could get bullied for your react reaction to the abuse like you were the bully reality TV is terrifying so that's that's like one thing to look up I actually can't watch it anymore now that I like know how the sausage is cuz it's like it's like it's like watching a fight but starting in the middle of it and having to decide which side you're on you ever see that sometimes on like Tik Tok there'll be a fight and someone's freaking the [ __ ] out and you're like they're crazy but then you find out that person did something so beyond that you're like of course she flipped out like that like she should have flipped out more exactly you see the other POV yes and I also think like yes like the physical stuff in relationships there has to be boundaries it's could be super scary but him reacting I want a divorce immediately it's like then go please go bye my hemorrhoids will be less inflamed with he has no boundaries and she finally was like put standing up for herself and like people be like why don't you tell him what he knows she's told him multiple times yeah he knows and I understand like I am guilty I like annoying my husband like he's very ticklish and like sometimes like he'll just like his stomach will kind of be out and I know that he doesn't want me to but I need to like poke him and I be like why' you do that and like I try not to but I think I'm like the older sister like I love Annoying my little brother and it's something I'm working on and but it's also like we end up laughing but I try to be like I get in a silly mood sometimes I think like a little poke a little foot tickle a little like a little Boop cuz he overreacts a lot so I think it's really funny when he overreacts he's like it's not funny like you know I'm really ticklish so like hearing this on a smaller scale I'm like okay that's so valid and I should listen to him more but also like it is funny when I barely touch him that he's like whoa I know just like such a boy and I also I like being like teased and made fun of so like but you have to understand that sometimes they don't enjoy it so I've been better I feel like the difference is like if he seriously was like I really don't appreciate it can you please stop you would stop yeah and I'm also not sexually assaulting him that's the thing like getting slapped in the private again and again and again like at what point is this a joke at what point is this funny well yeah what's the point of it cuz it's clear about turning her on and it's embarrassing her also the way she brought up the kids multiple times in this it makes me feel like she's just a little embarrassed by like how her husband is acting in front of her children this is not a good thing to show your kids to do this in front of your kids it's it's okay to hit your partner in the genitals not to go big picture here but I feel like am I the [ __ ] is super powerful because this is the kind of thing that you won't necessarily want to bring up at brunch with your girls to be like what would you guys do like it's so layered and complicated and embarrassing and weird but like yeah you're not going to tell your mom or something so like this gives people an outlet to have unbiased opinions to be like you're not crazy you should leave your husband absolutely I'm so happy doubt leave at least remove yourself like and take a break like if you're if you're questioning things if you feel gas lit if that person loves you and it's the right person a couple weeks away for you to clear your head isn't going to change that I'm just really in a place of like life is so short and like yes we all want a beautiful family with a perfect home and you know a 50-year marriage but it's like you know what's what's worse than not having that being stuck in something that is killing you inside dude the ballerina Farm stuff that's coming out wait can you explain that have you talked about it yet no it just dropped I think the article just dropped like yesterday so ballerina Farm is like this big content creator that's like really pursuing the tradwife content oh yeah they live out on a farm they have like eight or 10 kids I'm not really sure I'm not I don't engage with the content typically but it keeps coming up it just keeps coming up and so it's like they have this Farm they get their own milk and flour and butter and like traditional she doesn't have a nanny for the eight 10 kids however many she's got meanwhile like the husband comes from money like I think his family like maybe he's not well off but like his family owns like an airline mhm and so just this crazy stuff where it's like why are you making her suffer and then so this article came out where she talks about like she wanted to be a ballerina and went to juliard and she was like the only ballerina in modern J art history that got pregnant in undergrad and she gave up dancing for this guy and these these kids and this life and she couldn't get an epidural and like she whispered to the interviewer like I had to get the epidural when he left the room like crazy [ __ ] and so everyone's kind of like Mormon what's going on I think they might be but it was just like this whole thing where it's coming out and they're like holy [ __ ] is she okay it's that it's honestly reminds me of a bit that's in my special about how I had bad t to men but it was never my fault it was Disney's fault but it's the concept of like we're trained to be like you're going to want a man that's you know he's tall and he is Rich and he's a prince and he is the loudest guy in the room and the most masculine and then you find these guys and they're not always right for you and then you have to battle like everything you've been taught to be like oh I need to find a guy who's right for me and who's kind and who loves me not just the guy who's like the Disney prince that is supposed to save us which obviously doesn't work out that way and could be that's the that's the problem when you're with the wrong person yeah it can suck but it also can like literally ruin your life yes they're your everything they're the person you bounce ideas off of you make financial decisions they can be super controlling like it's a huge decision who you spend the rest of your life with it really is and like thinking about choosing the wrong partner like if I would have been with any of my exes before my fiance like I would not have this podcast like being with him is the reason I literally have this show he bought me the equipment he taught me how to edit he encouraged me to do it any of those other people that I was with before him would have stomped that little spark out wait made me cry truly like I I hearing you say that I'm like it's so important to have the right partner around you the right friends around you because it can foster or it can squash you 100% I'm very like quality over quantity with that stuff cuz it's so many energies you're getting all these weird things in your life but I I feel like these horrible relationships can be good because then you realize like oh it's so not worth it I never want that again like my worst breakup in my 20s made me finally stop being to boy crazy and just wanting attention from guys and being like Oh wait attention from guys can be really really bad like in the long term like this could be four years of therapy me thinking a guy's hot so I'm like if I'm going to fall for someone I need to make sure that they're going to be an ass asset and not to make it like oh I need you to benefit me but it's like if you're taking away from my life I I can't like I don't care how blue your eyes are or whatever you're into you know I love that I just I hope that resonates with people because it's like life again is too short to be with the wrong person and this lady needs to run and I feel like there's a lot of smart powerful people that listen to this pod I mean obviously cuz they like strong opinions and there's a lot of like oh if you're a strong woman it's really hard to find a guy and like I was able to find a guy who like even with all like my Netflix special coming out like he's been so he's so proud and he also was so helpful in a lot of like critical decisions he was the one who told me like wait eight months before you put it out so you can tour more and make it even better like he's just looking out for me and just it's nice to have just a partner that cares about you as much as you care about you which like to find that I do think is so rare because he's also in he do the same thing so to not be threatened by your success or to take what having and like take it personally like oh well why aren't I getting the Netflix special no no no I'm going to support my partner I'm going to Foster that I'm going to encourage that like it shouldn't be as rare as it feels like it it is I know and I do think it is a timing thing like for example cuz he's older like he's had these moments for himself already so he almost loves being able to like hold my hand sometimes and be like hey don't make this mistake that I made and it's this nice like I don't know if we met if when we both were 30 like coming up we might have like had butt heads so it's like just trusting the universe to like put you with the right people at the right time I love that and you can't force it no I love that I love all the jokes leave when he pisses you off I love all the jokes about him in the uh the Netflix special it's so funny Fallon like you have to do clean material and one of my favorite clean bits was this story about him like the restaurant one him having a heart thinking you had a heart attack and I didn't want to call an ambulance which is like so [ __ ] up but hilarious but I was like it's just not the scene and he could have been like don't do that on Fallon and I would have been [ __ ] like I wouldn't have had material for it and he was like go for it like this is hilarious and make fun of me and I was like oh I love you I love you thank you for letting me make fun of you on national TV oh my God I love that he just Embraces it yeah but and I know and I'm excited for like when he'll be on Fallon one day making fun of me it's gonna be so good we're freaky that's how we that's how we flirt top comment on this one you should give him that divorce for your own sake not the [ __ ] but your husband is 10,000% the [ __ ] leave that abusive [ __ ] yep op responds thank you I told him I don't need him and I'll be just fine on my own he doesn't think so so I guess we will find out that he has been really lucky to have me ooh now I really feel we write a DA Vibes because he basically said I don't believe in you and she's about to do one of those girl things where like she's about to like get a degree at Harvard or like she's going to like get a whole like makeover and be like feel so hot and like start her passion like she's about to like level up the out of spite pop off I love a girl leveling up after a relationship that she realized was weighing her down like she was doing you a favor truly like you were charity work and you disrespected a queen and she's going to go show you now it's so funny the the like crazy leveling up that girls do I didn't even know you don't even know it's possible and you're like wow that man was making you tired I love when a guy does it too like when you know there's like a woman who is just like taking advantage of a guy and then he does the flip and he's like no no no like I'm going to actually get with the nice girl not the mean girl not the not the Pik me well they seem lighter like everything about you ever see someone after getting out of a relationship and you're like who are you the glow the glow like after they're over that initial like the glow that people get it's so amazing to see and it's so scary but like there's light at the other side I know we have an update on this one wow I am so overwhelmed with all of the encouragement and kind posts I had a few not so friendly ones and I wish you'd refrain from making me feel worse by saying hurtful stuff on unfortunately this is true and I don't make it up I do feel the need to clarify a few things since I seem to have not chosen the best wording in my Hasty post yesterday one he has not been doing this for a year this started a couple of weeks ago we both work from home and our home 24/7 two no I do not walk around naked he's poking my butt through my clothes so not penetrating but it hurts and he knows that three my children are safe as am I I did call police last night and had him removed from the home I started to talk to a lawyer and we'll move things along as needed four my husband did call today and I had shut my phone off for a while hence the late update but he of course is apologizing and doesn't want to divorce he offered counseling so we will look into that I don't know how I feel just yet about trying to make this work but we will see thank you again for reaching out I haven't been able to reply to everyone but I will try wow wow I mean she definitely doesn't need a make a hasty move but I'm really proud of her for clearly putting her foot down yeah and I it's weird to me like yeah they're working at home together but like what what came over him that these last couple weeks he started doing that and what had he been doing before that was similar or like was it is he now a new guy in the last couple weeks it is quite strange cuz yeah I wonder what was like the gateway to the like slapping like did this start with the Poke did this start yeah was a little tickle this is quite odd yeah quite odd yeah and very concerning interesting but I think she's on the right path to figure out what's best for her I think so it seems like she's getting a lot of support in the comments um she's obviously like she says I feel embarrassed I feel like a complete idiot like talking about her kids uh my boys are all young but they'll definitely be told it's never okay to hit anyone I think she's also feeling embarrassed about the reaction but I think like there is something to be said about the reactive abuse and like it's kind of like when you get pushed and pushed and pushed mhm what do you do it's not okay that you know she reacted and hit him but then again like he after punched turn the stomach like they're both just at points of like clearly not good this is toxic this is unhealthy something needs to happen here mhm drop the pin divine intervention I don't know yep but moving along moving another one of this week's Partners is rocket money do you think you could tell me every subscription you have right now I know I couldn't before I started using rocket money I actually found out I was paying for the same streaming subscription twice and I'm not on my own in this I just found out that 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about and how often are you really going through everything on your credit card statement rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your your bills so you can grow your savings my favorite part that I've found with rocket money is they'll actually even try to negotiate your bills lower for you whatever rocket money does for you though it's all going to be easy to track and see there's a very clear dashboard where you can see all your expenses across all your accounts and you can even create a budget rocket money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps features if you're ready to try for yourself stop wasting money on things you don't use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocket money.com tht that's rocket money.com tht rocket money.com Story 4 AITAH for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband? tht if you haven't watched Hannah's special yet what are you doing what are you doing we're sitting here we went like way off tangent in between stories and I'm just like I'm here just like talking about how much I love this special no like having like cool girls like you love it is all I wanted that's all I want it's so good I'm going to go watch again and you're so right about Beast he's so hot the Beast is hot so hot I say that he looks like Travis Kelsey why do I see it now they're just big and Burly and they have a good like furry why do I see it now how do I see it want to pick you up occasionally get mad literally I see it okay this next one it's coming from AI tah 7 days old it is titled am I the [ __ ] for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband I 30 female have been married to my husband 32 male for 5 years we have two beautiful kids five male what's that [Laughter] math I'm like how long have they been married I'm like wait how old are these kids okay okay I got it now we have two beautiful kids five male and six female and have a very strong relationship and are happy together re recently my friend Lisa 29 female confided to me that she has developed feelings for my husband she said this is Juicy she said that she finds him attractive and admires our relationship and she asked if we would consider having an open relationship so she could be with him too I was shocked and told her no explaining that my husband and I are committed to each other and that we are not interested in an open relationship Lisa got up ET and accused me of being selfish he was and close-minded what what the [ __ ] is going on are we taking crazy pills right now she argued that modern relationships should be flexible that I was denying her happiness since then Lisa has been distant and has been spreading rumors in our friend group suggesting that I am overly possessive and controlling this has caused a lot of tension and some of our mutual friends are now taking sides my husband is supportive of my decision but I feel guilty for the drama it has caused so am I the [ __ ] for rejecting my friend's request to have an open relationship with my husband this is so [ __ ] layered also I wanted to know more about the husband cuz all she said was he supports the decision I'm like what what was his role in this maybe like are they flirting in the background like how did did he tell her to ask o but also I don't want to put it on him maybe but also where do you meet Lisa is is this is her thing has she been [ __ ] everyone's husband and why are people picking sides like are is Lisa in your relationship too to where you're like oh I get it it's just Lisa you know she's she's really fun like what what do you mean you're picking sides she she called someone selfish for not wanting to share their husband also there's a thing where like if there was miscommunication she was spreading lies that's when you do like uh we need to do a group Zoom or like when you sit down and have like a tell all of what's actually going on just to make sure like a c when you do a CNET whatever like get all the get a government whatever people do Speaker of the House situation and be like this is what was asked this is what I said how is are people taking sides on this I'm so confused yeah what also what if Lisa just like likes the idea of someone's husband and like likes that he's unattainable and then the second you open up the marriage you [ __ ] don't like him and you ruined someone's marriage I don't get it I'm like you don't really know him you don't know him what you see is not him and being in a relationship with him and also like once you cross that that little line with your friends there's no going back and here's what worries me sometimes and even like with just a casual thre St and all this what if they like it better than what you had but you're married so like then you're getting divorced well and you're the one with the kids and like he gets excited of like a new Fresh thing this is so I'm not about it um it's one thing if she brought it up she wants the spice of her marriage but this is the kind of thing that if you find yourself having also crushes are so weird like I can make myself have a crush on a plant like if I like if I'm going through something I need to like you project stuff onto anything like talk to your therapist about this keep it to yourself what happened to just like not saying every I mean I say everything that comes into my head but like don't secret you can have secrets have a secret it's okay to you know have a little secret you can have a crush on someone I like if people are like think my husband's hot like that's fun don't attack me for not letting you [ __ ] my husband I'm like isn't that why people get married so they don't have to share ever again literally so you don't have to be dating again when you have a full family and that's selfish she is like a little gaslighting queen that Lisa I wonder if her name's really Lisa I wonder if she outed her like that top comment not the [ __ ] tell the friends that are on her side to let her [ __ ] their husbands oh my God iconic iconic let's have a party oh my God that's a good line that's great next comment down seriously do this you are 100% in the right here your ex-friend is so self-absorbed that it's Beggars belief that it Beggars belief oh I've never heard that before it Beggars belief Beggars belief okay Lisa acting like they owe her sex no is a full answer that's the other thing what if the husband isn't even like in her or attracted to her or like that's why I wanted some more info from the husband like I wanted the husband to be like well that's no and like I would never and like tell her stop like why are friends even being like yeah give her a chance with your husband like that's so weird to me like maybe they're having an affair God maybe they've been having an I mean I'm just and this was trying to like and this was her trying to make it more acceptable basically the husband's like I'm not going to leave my woman for you so that she's trying to open up the marriage Fu and some people know look I don't know also I like making up that all these people are the same like I pretend that this is Lisa is the girl who also announced her pregnancy at the marriage Y at the wedding and she's pregnant with this her husband's kid it's the two hot takes Multiverse it's all it's Multiverse it's all connected and interwoven it's all connected it's like bunch of Sims characters it really is that's how I look at them I'm like I just remember these are all my little kids we do have an update after reading some of your comments I decided to bring the group out for coffee and told them all about what Lisa said and the real story I also showed them the Reddit post after showing them there were two girls that were still on Lisa's side so I took some advice from the comments and said quote let Lisa [ __ ] your husband then you can be on her side after that everyone was on my side thankfully also don't be friends with those girls anymore no still let's not you have the post you have what Lisa said and you're still going to be like yeah that's fine Lisa should be able to [ __ ] your husband yeah that's fine Lisa wasn't happy at all and she started ranting about how it quote wasn't fair she quote just wanted to experiment something new and it wasn't even that bad of a request you're making it such a big deal which I didn't get me and the the rest of the group have officially cut contact with Lisa just hoping she doesn't try to reach out we'll update if something happens also just clarifying that Lisa also asked my husband for an open marriage he also rejected it saying that quote even if I was I would never want to go out with you okay so what's what is the argument here it's almost like she's trying to ruin all her friendships and she's like what's the worst thing I could do let's go up to one of my friends and get get mad at her for not letting me [ __ ] her husband some kind of weird self-sabotaging Behavior also the the husband like ate with that line even if she was open to it I wouldn't want to be with you oh good job good job slay go off King wow I would be embarrassed if I was this woman I would tail between my legs go hide in a hole and she's doubling down I know that like in Utah there were like remember all the Mormons were like hooking up with each other's husbands and it got kind of weird and crazy yeah but this doesn't sound like that group no it's also giving like there are other men in the world how small is your community that you feel like he's the only freaky moment you can have there's so many other ways come on Craigslist have you looked at that let's meet like thing craigus has no is it new or is it no I I think it's been around for a while but it's literally that it's like looking for big Husky man looking for petite busty blonde like and I'm like you made him Russian big busty blonde I'm like okay like if this actually works like I know like foot fetish stuff like does really well there are you on wik feet I actually am I actually am and I found out because Michael blin from and does he have a foot fetish stiff socks is obsessed with feet and we looked it up he told me I had a nice Arch and then my head got big and I started to get cocky and then I was like well now we know what I your feet are on here a lot wait really they're cuz I haven't looked in like a year or two years what's my rating look at your feet okay see that was [ __ ] up of me and that was years ago that was like 5 years ago before I knew that that was was like knowingly giving the feet people exactly what they wanted knew that look at the bottoms of those feet that's where he said I have a nice Arch wow you were really serving on the feet I hate to say it but that that first guy would be like that's the kind of loaf of foot they have your shoe size on here they have it wrong probably what do they have nine no I'm an eight edit don't believe anything you see online you have you have one of the highest ratings I think I've seen you almost have full five stars this is my thing how do I monetize this you literally start posting just feet on only fans or patreon people don't realize as I have tennis feet where like that I've lost my nails so many times like I do not and I also have like hairy toes like there's I have a hairy some people would pay extra for that I like you're thinking yeah there's a market for entrepreneur there's a market for everything who would pay extra for Hannah's hairy toe yeah I also have hair on the top of my foot too sometimes I shave it but I don't have to shave it if you don't want me to look she'll offer options all a cart experience love people are like one day you might get a Netflix special and be able to sell your foot pick still I'm like so big I mean look at this one of you and Paige and your feet just primed look at those little toes look at the toe bed it's so funny cuz when you don't know about foot fetishes you're not like oh that's my feet primed that's just me in a bathing suit I I mean yeah I never would have I don't know I never would have thought like oh this you think differently meet me now that you know that I have five a 4.9 on wik feet well I just gave you five too so hopefully it UPS the average yeah I rid I rated I gave you a five star beautiful feat do you know that if you search in the podcast app hairy Italians giggly Squad comes up oh my God I don't know why maybe because we've called ourselves Harry Italian so many times the algorithm finds us but um that's insane that's some SEO like optimization cuz we don't even have an episode that's titled it it's very weird that's wild I just looked up someone like you've worked with recently Miss Haley Bieber and I was like let me see where your feet compared to hers she has five stars as well you're you're like neck and neck neck and neck your neck and neck come for your throat I've never been on Wiki feet before in my entire life f are you on it I you need to sear I don't there's no way I think you need to search no way no results well someone listening is about to start no results I don't post my feet I literally have a saying no free feet picks but I feel like 5 years ago that wasn't like a thing I don't know people weren't as aware I don't think you could find one foot pick on my but they say people on Snapchat just Poe their feet to like get engagement that's a tactic I mean a tactic do what you got to do I guess I feel like every girl should at least be making side money from their feet like that should just be like a thing why not why not why not why not what's the harm use what God gave you I know I would be so down for like my fiance having an only fans and like posting Milk Bath pictures I'd be cool with it what's Milk Bath oh my God so you fill up your bath with water and then add milk and it makes it cloudy and people will take like very sexually artistic doesn't always have to be sexual it can be very just tasteful and artistic but like you can't see anything really yeah only what you pop up above the the water yes wait is that like a thing on only fans I don't know but I thought I thought there was a market for it and so I was always like I'd be down with you doing that I love that our algorithms are so different like a lot of people do it for maternity shoots I will say oh Milk Bath Sho okay but imagine just like a dude in a tub and just popping up above the surface is that could sell I mean my husband could definitely have a z only fans there's definitely a market for it I think so for sure he just he just tells you old stories and takes Advil The Silver Fox that's that could be the name The Silver Fox Silver Fox he just complains about his lower back just talking about uh his physical therapy talks about the 80s oh my God he was around during that time oh yeah that was his prime no I actually feel like your age Gap like you make it seem so healthy cuz I'm usually not a fan I think I've told you that yeah and you just like your relationship is so cute like the whole Co start and your lockdown and then like you got engaged within six months yeah cuz honestly my parents did so like it was kind of my love story in my head but I do have to say age gaps I think not good in your 20s like when you're in your 20s your brain is forming still you're not making a lot of money you're figuring out yourself you can get taken advantage of that it's just the power and balance it's the power and balance I don't [ __ ] with that's why I love like if you're in your 30s you're single go for these older guys cuz you're actually like on a similar wavelength as them that's like with age gaps it's not the age itself it's the power imbalance that typically will accompany it and I was financially independent when I met him I knew what I wanted to doing and I knew what kind of guys I liked so I literally say like I'll do my college my jokes at colleges and I'll be like this is not for girls who are 20 deal with men in your own age who don't know what's going on either who are like fingering you and it feels horrible just keep doing that until you're ready to graduate find Bucky the mascot you know yes make some stories make some stories yeah ride around on those athletes scooters we read it done oh my God look at you just the big sis advice everyone needs well there isn't an update on this one past the dinner past the coffee with friends which I love that you were like get everyone together do the tell all yeah do a tell all do a reunion she do does have something in the comments that she has been considering cutting off those two that agreed with Lisa for a while so yeah that's weird to me I think they're on their way out I think they're on their way out I want to know what Lisa's up to right now trying to find someone else's husband yeah there's so many people out there so many people find find your own you don't need to double up find your own or find a community that's into that stuff there's those out there too yeah I've always wondered about the naked cults same it'd be that'd be a hard bit to commit to but I feel like it's one of those things that you just get so used to like At first you're like oh my God there's schlongs being thrown around and then four days in you're just like I don't care just you go a little blind to it like nose blind almost eyebrow blind yes I'm like I started getting really worried about my eyebrows after that oh my God now you have great eyebrows they're microbladed that helps they look great I need to get them touched up enough about me enough about me I don't like attention I'm like I'm the opposite I'm like give Hannah all the attention I don't want it no oh my God another one of this week's Partners is Babble we are way more than halfway through the year and I know on my list this year was learning a new language and I'm working on it but not as much as I want to be and I definitely don't want to get to 2025 hoping for the same goal of learning that new language and if you're in that same boat as me let me introduce you to bble Babble is the science-backed language learning app that gets you talking there's no more wasting hundreds of dollars on private tutors or using the old school way Babel is just better there's studies to prove it from Yale Michigan State and others that using Babel for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at College think about something in your life that you've wasted 15 hours doing you could have been putting it towards Babble and there's no need to get overwhelmed with all of this Babel's 10-minute language lessons are quick and they're handcrafted by over 200 language experts to get you ready for talking your new language in as little as 3 weeks so if you're ready to try for yourself here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now get up to 60% off your Babel subscription but only for our listeners at babble.com tht get up to 60% off at babel.com tht spelled b a BB l.com tht rules and restrictions May Story 5 AITA for getting into an argument with my husband because he left me during surgery. apply okay this one is is fresh this next one is only a day old oh coming from am I the [ __ ] titled am I the [ __ ] for getting into an argument with my husband because he left me during surgery uh-huh what kind of surgery I have follow-up questions I am a 25-year-old female and my husband 27 and I have been together for almost four years we do not have any kids together I had a same day lumpectomy surgery yesterday the tumor is not believed to be malignant but I wanted it out since my mother had breast cancer my husband got the day off work and drove me the surgery was delayed for about 3 hours and my husband was getting impatient the surgeon finally came in and said she expected the surgery would take about an hour after she left my husband said he was going to leave the hospital to get lunch when I went under since he hadn't eaten that day I wanted him to be able to eat and was trying to be brave but I really didn't want to be left when the surgery was only supposed to be an hour so I asked him if we could pick him up food on the way home he gave me the impression that he would stay and I was then wheeled away fast forward to 30 minutes later I was being shaken awake by a nurse who told me I was sick and she was trying to get in touch with my husband apparently during the surgery my blood pressure dropped rapidly and my surgeon was able to get the tumor out in 20 minutes but my BP was 70 over 30 by the time they got it out and my lips had turned blue I was very sick in my room I was bleeding through my internal stitches coming in and out of Consciousness and was vomiting all the while my nurse was trying to track down my husband my surgeon called him but he did not even answer her I'm very thankful for the sweet nurses who took care of me and reassured me it is the next day now and I'm very emotional and angry about the whole ordeal my husband did not apologize and has been incredibly defensive about the whole thing his explanation for leaving was quote I went out and got lunch and then I was getting gas because I was low from driving your ass around the surgery was supposed to be an hour how was I supposed to know your heart could have stopped I told him he had one job which was to stay with me and tell me what the surgeon said I could get over him leaving if he was a poetic or remorseful but I'm shocked at his words SL how little he seems to care for someone he claims to love in his defense he cared for me last night when we got home but left today after we argued I'm sure I'm just still really emotional from anesthesia and I'm being a bit dramatic but I can't even look at him the same he is usually attentative and caring so I'm pretty baffled I'm sure he thought the chances of anything going wrong were slim but I can't understand his thought process I sat for hours and hours in Waiting rooms during all of my mom's breast cancer procedures and was nervous to even leave for a minute to get food God forbid I don't have cancer because I don't trust him with anything medical now anyways I'm unsure what I hope to get from writing this to strangers I just needed to vent am I the [ __ ] wow wow wow wow wow I mean obviously this man did not knowingly leave her when she was you know sick yeah but it was obviously always a possibility always it's kind of giving like he immediately got defensive instead of like this is one of those relationship moments where sometimes they'll get mad at you and you really didn't mean it and that's the moment when you say like you don't say well I didn't do it on purpose so I'm not apologizing that's when you literally say I'm [ __ ] sorry and you learn from it like this is one of those weird just like annoying things where she literally said if he just said sorry and learned and realized he [ __ ] up we can move on yeah it's super annoying and scary it's really scary and I I think you're right like it does happen so often where people are just unwilling to fall on their sword like and it doesn't have to be a sword it could be like you slept on a pebble one night like it's just I'm sorry like yeah in the beginning like of some relationships I've had guys like say something that hurt my feelings and I'd be like I'm I just want you to say sorry cuz it upset me and they're like well I wasn't trying to upset you so I'm not going to say sorry it doesn't matter if you're trying or not you're like I just want to move on knowing that you understood what happened so it won't happen again yes and like also it's it's about like it hurt me regardless if you were trying to or not and aren't you sorry that I was hurt I feel like a lot of times people like they they overthink an apology yeah they overthink it I love apologizing I throw it around left and right I mean if it's just I'm [ __ ] up left and right we all are we're human you're going to make mistakes you're going to treat someone poor going to be perceived a certain way and like you you can't control that I I would look at like an apology more so as like that person just wants to know you were listening and you heard them you recognize that they were hurt it doesn't mean you're getting in trouble it doesn't mean you're going to the jail like it's literally just an acknowledgement of I understood how it affected you you're not a bad person you're not whatever insert blah blah blah blah blah it's just you recognize them you see them you hear them and you're going to make a more conscious effort to not do it again you're you're so right about that cuz saying sorry is not this like admission of guilt to being a bad person it's an acknowledgement of their feelings and how whatever you did hurt them which you obviously don't it's basically being like I don't want to hurt you that's all it is and I'm going to work on making sure that doesn't happen again yes I'm so like I so much would rather someone say sorry in like any situation I can move forward if you don't say sorry you just don't know if they even knew what they did wrong exactly but on the flip side of that you need to be able to communicate your feelings and why you're upset because otherwise that's unfair to the other person people psychics you have to like it's a two-way street she's clearly she's doing that and I'm annoyed with like she was like can you please just stay like just stay so you're here like hospitals have cafeterias dude if you're hungry go to there you get a snack there's many Machin bring snacks like plan ahead like but then to be like okay I'm not going to leave and then you still leave I hate when people lie or like think like oh she's not going to know she's going to be under she'll be none the wiser I hate that then you have people calling your phone like clearly something is going on why aren't you answering you're not answering the nurse you're not answering the surgeon you're getting multiple phone calls why aren't you answering well this is also I I wonder about him like has something happened to him where he doesn't like being in a caretaking role because of something like this is again like some trauma maybe he has maybe he has it's like this is a marriage and I don't think it's as simple as like he doesn't go [ __ ] about you like let's delve into like why this happened a little and but I also don't like like 2 days later they get in a fight and he left her like I don't like the whole leaving no like yeah go upstairs maybe breathe some air like take a moment don't leave her no and like what if she is sick yeah like I get having like medical trauma and like you stuff like that makes you anxious and so you messed up you left now you feel guilty you're embarrassed so you're not admitting you're you know you're not apologizing but at the same time like where do you go from here what if she is what if she has to do something else in the future what happens when you guys you know if you have kids how are you going to react in that situation it's like you need to nip this in the bud now I do also she said like in the past he's been good at caretaking so that's also weird I feel like some people have different Love Languages like I know like my brother um like wasn't that good of care taking and then like his wife was having migraines and she had to kind of teach him like what she needs cuz he's like do you want me like there do you want me not there and she was like once I told him what to do he was great but so it's like maybe this guy didn't realize that while she was under he needed to be there like some guys are very like too logical yeah where they're like you're you're literally you're under like I can go get food and I'm not going to apologize cuz of this freak accident it sounds like he's just being stubborn and he needs to [ __ ] say sorry yeah and I do think it's like op being like Oh can't we just get food on the way home like I understand why he didn't want to do that because in my head I'm like well you have surgery for an hour then you're in posttop you're recovering blah blah blah like you're not leaving for another 3 hours when I'm hungry I got to eat like I'm a hangry hry girl with that so I get that but cafeteria at the hospital door Dash call a friend to bring you a sandwich I don't know it's also like I'm trying to think like if I was in his position and I did leave like that is it's such bad luck and that's when you literally have to like look at the person be like I that was so [ __ ] up of me I'm such an [ __ ] and I'm so sorry and like I learned now like I'm not [ __ ] with like leaving you ever again and that would help so much in the situation that's all it would be Lally say I am I was an [ __ ] is like so healing I think for both people yeah seriously if you can get the other person that was an [ __ ] to like actually do that why is it so hard it wasn't on purpose I mean yeah he was like a little lying and he was being annoying but like you ended up being more of an [ __ ] than you anticipated because of bad luck yeah and just own it you got to own it top comment on this one I think we know where it's going to go right not the [ __ ] I'm really sorry you went through that and he's not being supportive did he actually say quote from driving your ass around that's incredibly insensitive op responds he did that was the comment that really turned into an argument it's also hard cuz things get emotional I know and then like he just probably was he was probably really frustrated but again don't get mad at her because that happened and you didn't anticipate it I mean it's just like I don't know why he feels the need to Slough off all these excuses like well I needed to get food and and then I had to stop and get gas those are both two things that still don't excuse you not answering your phone exactly exactly where was your phone what were you actually doing cuz I don't think you were just getting gas and food or he was like I'm not answering these calls which is weirder your wife is in an operating room and you don't answer a phone call likely showing up caller ID buah BL blah Hospital yeah those iPhones are smart they know when a Spam is calling yep it's true what was he doing I look at these conspiracy theories we started is he with Lisa I think he is with Lisa Lisa Lisa found a husband's with Lisa but again this also could just be like learning how to fight better where like he doesn't get super defensive cuz she was pissed off yeah like like let your P your person's going to get pissed off sometimes and it doesn't always mean they hate you they just need you to hear them and to apologize I know it's okay to pop the lid here and then but it's like how do you come back from it after and if you can't connect and communicate MH it's also that weird like pre kid time where like you're kind of keeping an eye on your man to be like is he capable of like being there uhhuh for the family so I think it's like it was extra hurtful to her to be like you're going to be the father of my children and you left me for dead essentially left me for dead essentially I mean a blood pressure 70 over 30 so scary that's that's borderline like you're going You're Going Down Cardiac Arrest but and when you were saying that I was like oh my God he's going to be so upset like he's going to be so apologetic so it's really it's less him going to get food cuz I am a crazy food person like that too it's more the after effect of how we dealt with it that's the thing just fall on the sword friends it's okay it won't kill you I promise someone else goes that's honestly awful also does the hospital not have a cafe someone responds oh it does you see this event wasn't about him it was supposed to be about op so he made it about him by ditching and then talking down to his wife I saw my father do the same to my mother he called it a waste of time to be at the hospital during her mastectomy unfortunately they're still married and it's so obvious how much they hate each other op you are not the [ __ ] take a hard look at your relationship this is how it will be he won't change he will actually get worse I'm not sure anyone deserves to be so unhappy wow wow cuz they just made it bigger of like this is who the dude is like and everyone it's about making about yourself yeah it was him basically being like you're not that important like my Hunger is way more important than like anything that can happen to you yeah and I think you do like you have such a good point about this is kind of a trial period in life like before kids and making sure your partner's capable because someone does say the next comment down and take a hard look at your relationship before you decide to have kids if you think that's in your future and there is something so scary and vulnerable when you're in that position in a hospital I remember I got my my appendix like was appendicitis oh yeah dur and my parents drove me when I first started dating my husband and it was during covid so they literally like just had to drop me off and I was just lying there and no one knew what it was they were giving me like Advil and I was like no this is really bad holy [ __ ] and my the my husband at the time was calling me and he like drove and just sat in the parking lot for like a couple hours Stop why am I going to cry no I and I think he's also he was good at like dealing with like he liter like what the [ __ ] Hannah that's you got a good one oh my God no but that's why I was like I'm marrying this man I see why you got engaged in 6 months this beautiful like two months in and I like wasn't responding cuz I was just lying there with my phone and he was just like with my parents scared but it's those moments that like you can you can see how much people care that's the thing like when people show up in times of need like ride or die forever like truly and it's like this was his moment this was this was a moment you don't know if it's not cancerous yet you don't know and you know it's so [ __ ] [ __ ] up um I do a joke on stage oh God okay I'm ready I'll you I'm ready yeah this is transition I wouldn't even call um an ambulance on him when he thought was having a heart attack but I did a joke on stage about how we went to Aspen for the first time and he was skiing and I didn't want to ski and I wanted to get lunch when he was done skiing and he calls me and he's like we can't go to lunch like I'm at the hospital I think I tore my AC oh so I went and got Lun are you him I am the man no but he basically was like being really tough about it and I we also joked we like no one feels bad for you cuz you hurt yourself skiing an aspen when you literally shouldn't have been doing like the hardest whatever he was going down black diamonds he literally took like a video like I'm about to go down I he had to hike up something crazy like he was being wild okay so I didn't feel I felt really bad but I also was annoyed at him you ruined a lunch but he also was like Hey like it's I'm okay like there's a lot of stuff going on so like I got us two burritos and I brought it but then when you go and you see your person like he had a neck brace on and I joke that I got the ick from it oh my God I really you like have a different like you're literally like oh my God I'm so scared with him um so yeah these traumatic moments I feel like can really make or break relationships like you either realize how much you care about someone or you're like like wait I'm leaving them for dead yeah well and they're so young too 20 she's 25 oh my God 25 again I don't love getting married before your brain's fully formed and it works out a lot of the time but it's a risk how old were you when you got married I think 30 31 it's kind of young for my friends in New York that's the thing about like here too like I'm planning for a 2025 Wedding by that point I'll be 31 one mhm and like I will be like my friends that are in Minnesota they're kind of like it's different they're still in the midwest it you do get married you know your I'm the only one in my friend group who's married and that will be me here I'll be the only one in La that's married here so it's like it's it's so interesting like geography can like impact stuff like that yeah and your perspective of what's the right time but I have a friend in Minnesota that like she was divorced by 30 and I think there's something to that perfect no I think I think there is because you get that like fear out of the way that fear of like starting over that fear of Abandonment that fear of like that sunken cost fallacy where you're like well we've been together since we were 19 and in high school and like this is this is my person no no no this is not your person it's okay to check out and move on no divorce is so powerful and also like even for people who are older there's a whole wave of divorce say in their like late 30s and 40s that you find or someone could be really right for you when you're 22 and they're not right for you when you've both evolved and changed people grow people grow and sometimes they grow together and sometimes they don't and that's not your F of fault that's not your fault it's not your fault but this man I mad at him I hope I hope I hope the food was worth it I hope the sandwich was worth it I think the sandwich was someone else I think he went to lunch with someone else I don't think he was doing what he said was and that is just my gut I don't know what it is well yeah cuz it's such a weird Behavior you there's no way you don't answer your phone unless you're doing something that you're really not supposed to be doing lunch and gas that's excusable but like this is something else is and then to like stick to the argument that he didn't do anything wrong maybe there is something deeper I I think so I really think so love when we enable each other to be like yeah he's having 10 Affairs right now okay I just Googled not Googled what's that command F where you can like search the page yeah and I did cheat just to see if anyone else is on the same page with us someone goes hate to say it but this is immediately where my mind ran to cheating even if he'd gone down the block to a restaurant and sat there to eat he knew his wife was in surgery keep the phone on the table and see if you get a call yeah stopping to get gas too well take the phone with you outside while you're waiting at the pump see an unknown number during a time like this common sense says it's the hospital the hospital could have been calling to say anything and he did not pick up the [ __ ] phone he's cheating wow I think something's going on here yeah cuz it's giving like addict Behavior where it's like you don't do things you would normally do to like get something else like what was he chasing something's going on op has since deleted her account like can't look at comments from op can't look for anything accounts deleted so what do you think that means I think she's getting answers like I think maybe like with the cheating stuff coming up maybe it's just like okay this is too much like I'm overwhelmed delete but I think this is someone who I think will have a wakeup call from this post wow especially having a mom that went through breast cancer yeah and at 25 is getting a lumpectomy yep breast cancer has a genetic connection like Yep this was a glimpse this was a speeding ticket MH it's not you know a full Tire Spike you're locked up like you're getting off with a warning is what I'm trying to say like take it take it don't look that gift horse in the mouth no no you take it and you ride down the road on that little pony you go you wanted to bring up ponies anytime I can anytime another one of this week's Partners is Stitch fix going to a store and shopping for new clothes can be so overwhelming and leave you feeling terrible but that's where Stitch fix is going to come in with Stitch fix you're going to get a stylist who understands your style size and budget and they do all the hard work of that shopping for you you're going to get personalized pieces that fit well are high quality and the pieces that you've wanted in your closet my favorite part about Stitch fix is that you can actually upload photos that you've seen on social media or outfits that you've really tried to find and your stylist will go to work trying to find that same Vibe my issues with clothes is I know what I like but I don't know how to put it together and having a stitch fix stylist who picks out a couple pieces but then gives me a variety of ways to wear it has been so so nice so no more stores no crowds no stress just personalized looks that you're going to love so if you're ready to try for yourself personal styling is for everyone get started today at stitchfix.com tht that's Story 6 AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she set up cameras in our apartment “in case I abuse her”? stitchfix.com tht okay this next one something else is going on here too it is 23 hours old coming from AI ah titled am I the [ __ ] for breaking up with my girlfriend after she set up cameras in our apartment quote in case I abuse her what I need help I'm a 25-year-old male and my ex-girlfriend is 24-year-old female we were together for 3 years and marriage was definitely in our future basically my ex always loved True Crime but she was getting really into domestic violence True Crime she had been down the DV rabbit hole for about 4 to 6 months I want to say before she really started acting weird with me she didn't want me to have her location which we mutually had for safety purposes she was telling her mom sister and friends everything I did she was being skittish around me kept a diary when she had never had one before and would basically just be overly cautious around me I'm not too sure how to describe it you could just see that she was being weird even at Gatherings my family asked me if we were fighting because she seemed overly cautious around me and was only sticking with the women it was really starting to get to me but I didn't want her suspicions to be right so I didn't do anything about it she had told me that as a man I have to understand that DV happens all the time even perfect men suddenly end up abusers and that I was no different it really really got to me all I could think then and even now is that I'm nothing like those men I get that it could be anyone but seriously I don't even kill bugs I take them outside she had never even been in an abusive relationship either this Behavior was so unlike her but I felt like there was nothing I could do because of her position if I reacted badly she would be right and I know I'm not an abuser so I just took it we had been together for three entire years and she really thought I would suddenly do something to her I've never even raised my voice at her and I came from a broken home with devie she knows that I would never treat a woman or child man or animal that way a few days days ago she put up cameras and I noticed pretty quickly because she didn't hide them well when I confronted her she told me it was for her safety and peace of mind and that if I wanted them gone I don't care about her safety then I got really [ __ ] angry but I Got This Moment of clarity all of a sudden it was like all of the anger left my body as quick as it came and I understood all these months hit me like a train and I was over it all I didn't yell didn't react I just said that we were over I told her I couldn't be with someone who thought of me as an abuser I didn't take any of my things I just left to stay at my parents house she's been telling her family that I'm an abuser and I've gotten a few semi- threatening calls and texts from her brothers I'm really torn up about it and I'm feeling like a real [ __ ] now her texts range from quote I'm sorry I know you're not an abuser to how I never cared about her and she was right about me all long why did she convince herself that I would abuse her I never ever laid my hands on her nor have I even yelled at her if something was wrong we handled it like adults not dysfunctional teens I miss her a lot and I'm starting to regret it all I should have just let her put the cameras up that probably isn't the self-respecting choice but I really loved my girlfriend and I understood to an extent he understood to an extent Poor Boy's going through it yeah I'm either getting like she's lost her damn mind yeah and I mean you know you like watch something about like an abusive man and you get really mad at men and you're like men are so [ __ ] up and then you see your man and you're like I'm [ __ ] mad at men and then you're like oh yeah but that's I don't have to project that onto him yeah it's almost like she got obsessed with the idea of and abuse is such a general term I wonder if there was like an event that happened between them that like triggered her to be like this could become something like if there was a fight like I feel like we're missing maybe one piece of information or maybe he had a moment where like he got angry which is like totally fine um but he's making it like he's been perfect this whole time and she just like also the camera is just [ __ ] weird regardless I feel like the camera is just not okay no no like if you're putting cameras somewhere and not telling him you have to let people consent to that that feels very invasive and like if someone has never given you a reason to suspect that they're going to hurt you something's going on here and my thing is like I'm like maybe she's developing a mental illness you know like maybe there's something I'm like it's like she wants to be the person in the documentary the one thing also that makes me real feel like he's not a bad dude is that abusers don't normally leave you no they want you to stay yeah for him to finally be like it clicked I'm done like he's really hurt by this and understandably so like if my partner started coming out of the woodwork and being like Oh I'm scared you're going to hurt me she's avoiding him she's being weird and like jumpy around him like it's so but he can't be fulfilled by that too like that's not a happy relationship but it's it's like when you are with your friends and they start telling you things about your man and you start kind of believing it except that's her with these documentaries yeah it's giving Gone Girl yes it's it's giving she's like trying to create something that's not there and again it is like attention seeking where it's like she wants from her friends and her family to feel like she's going through something like these girls were going that she was watching but yeah the whole thing with domestic abuse is the cycle of abuse that like you get hurt and then they they want you back and they apologize and they act good for a while and then they do it again and you're suck you're stuck in this horrible cycle MH they don't just say okay this is weird I'm leaving I know and he he did that I mean I think he's doing everything right like I feel so bad for him and then the comment here where he's like I came from a broken home with DB she knows that so then to kind of like put that on your partner and be like I I'm worried you're going to be an abuser like you could be an abuser abuser abuser abuser like that's that's not a light thing no and it's basically like if it was his dad being like are you your dad well and then it's like at that point like there's the whole self fulfilling prophecy thing like you're putting that into his head you're almost conditioning him to like make him think I am like that well also accusing someone of being an abuser is something that could elicit a pretty intense response from someone like if he raised his voice I wouldn't be surprised well then it comes into that again that reactive abuse mhm mhm well it's going say like what she was doing is a form of abuse cuz now he's getting if she's lying about him he's now getting bullied by her family yes and he's must feel just like dirty and misunderstood and just like lost it's really really scary it's like a form of psychological abuse what she's doing yeah like it feels very psychologically damaging it has nothing to do with him no and it's something where it's I think he should I think he should talk to the her family to just be like hey I really care about her and like I had to remove myself because of what's going on but like I care about her and this is what's going on yeah like I'm genuinely worried she's 24 so severe mental illnesses like they start really manifesting themselves at this age you know 23 to 26 27 is kind of that window where you know bigger things come out she's giving like very paranoid yes and so maybe there is some mental health issue popping up right now mhm no it's totally valid and I think he needs he can't just let it be believed he needs to stand up for himself he needs to set the record straight he if if they're like in a small town like he cannot have that going around that's a thing and then her like text too where she's like I'm sorry I know you're not an abuser to then being like Oh I was right about you it's like she's swinging on both sides of that pendulum exactly she's unsure what's going on and she's she needs help I feel like I'm on a roller coaster side I I really am messing us up no these are wild I'm messing us up holy smokes so there is only one comment from op and it is in response to this comment not the [ __ ] in the slightest I would check up on her or at least urge her family to do so although from my understanding you are not on great terms at the moment because it seems that she has come to develop what I can only understand to be some sort of acute paranoia as a result of the content she consumes she can have her interest but she by herself needs to be able to distinguish her own reality from others period that is something which inherently is not your problem but seeing as you have been together for a while and were envisioning marriage your approach to appeasement and not communicating your own emotions at the expense of your well-being also was less than ideal you made the right decision anyways you honestly don't need this and and her wrongs heavily outweigh anything you've done op responds I did talk to her about it but not in depth so I didn't mention it in my post our talking about it was her explaining why she felt the need to be doing things she was doing and me reassuring her that I would never hurt her she always replied quote I know it's just in case and then carried on I also think she's paranoid due to the media she's been consuming but there isn't anything I can do about it now and that's my mistake I could have intervened much sooner but saw no harm until it was too late I can't really tell her family that I'm worried about her but my sister extended the message to her mom I don't know if they'll be doing anything about it well I hated when he said like I didn't want to respond to things CU I don't want to prove her right cuz you can't be in a relationship where you can't at least voice your concerns or boundaries without being accused of being an abuser yeah like you have to and also in your relationship with people you love sometimes they see like the darkest parts of you because like you're going to show them everything and I think he's being put in a really [ __ ] up situation where he can't even speak up for himself no because anything he does or like any feelings and speaking up for himself that he does articulate it's going to be like well if you weren't an abuser you would let me do this yeah it's going to be twisted on him so it's like he can't even say how he actually feels about it which is so toxic also just like putting the abuser title is so impersonal and so just like projecting where she can kind of Define it in however she wants this is really this is actually kind of a scary one yeah top comment on this one not the [ __ ] this person is unhinged I'm a woman who enjoys True Crime this is so weird it's giv gong girl it's giving Gone Girl yeah which there's like another Netflix thing that just came out it's really good did you watch it it's incredible the one that like faked her own kidnapping right it's incredible and it is another thing of like wanting attention and seeing how much someone like wants to be with you or like how much people care about you and it's it's it's a sickness it's a sickness so um get help if you need attention throw a birthday party start stand up go start stand up comedy do those things instead of going to therapy if you if you won't no Applebee's go to Applebees you will feel special half off Wings a song and a little dessert mhm dollarita let's go oh do they have those again in the summer I think I'm literally going to look up the nearest Applebees I need this I need this but there's other ways to get attention like mhm come on yeah don't hurt people that maybe get a dog a dog foster like Hannah you had the cutest Foster recently I still have a really cute Foster Abby she's like a pocket pit who she's like tan and little white on her face and she just loves people so much she's not great with other dogs but she like literally just wants to cuddle with you all day okay where can people go to look for Abby Southampton Animal shelter.com okay yes Abby Abby she's the best she's really the best if you're watching on YouTube You'll see some pictures right here right now let's get Abby adopted yes Abby Abby she's so freaking cute oh I love that you Foster yeah thanks you're just why are you the most magical little human it was my husband that wanted to Foster cuz I was like I travel too much and I like cats and he was like we're fostering this pit I love that I mean we've had for like three years now which is shows how great of a dog she is we don't want to give her back unless she's adopted three years yeah his brother will take care of her we have like a whole system cuz we travel a lot but like she's she's living on Long Island she's super happy but we wanted to have a forever home she deserves a nice little yard oh yes and she does like big males which honestly same oh but she doesn't get along with like little dogs it's too bad you know she doesn't get along I I had a reactive dog and it is really tough but like there's so many places you can still go and like people are getting better about having their other dogs on leashes she's always on a leash but it's so funny cuz with people she's just the best I wonder if she would get along with Miss peaches oh I don't know cuz Miss peaches is a girl maybe two you know two powerful women in a household you know we'll see if they we could try we reach out to reach out to u m Mr Dave Mrs peaches is from Southampton Animal Shelter yeah okay all the come on guys come on get check out Abby check out something's anck out Abby I love that I'm G to you're going to encourage me to start fostering oh my God it's the best I love I miss it so much you save more dogs than one they say oh I love that well that's all I have for you that's all that's it I need a I need a drink a palette cleanser no that was amazing I have so much fun doing this with you I love having you I like really really think so highly of you and I was talking to someone the other day um kind of telling them I had you coming on and I was like you are genuinely one of the kindest most authentic people I've met in this journey I call life now like podcasting has been like it's been really tough like it it's so rewarding but there's a lot behind the scenes that people don't see or don't know and I think every single time I'm with you you are just such a light and you deserve every good thing coming your way and it's not to say you haven't worked your ass off for it but it is so so deserved and it's so nice to see one of the good ones win let me tell you wait I love you so much and you've actually been so helpful in so many ways stop and like everything right back no I I can't I literally can't no no how dare you no but seriously I love you and this community you built is so [ __ ] great it's magical it really is we've got some good ones and good ones that are hopefully going to come check out where you're at now you have a podcast with your friend page giggly Squad gig Squad it's very silly very funny I love it and we read it on Netflix message me tell me how you like it tell me your favorite bits get into it yes we should do a poll what what have you found to be very polarizing about your special people really like the queef joke I have like a I have like a 10-minute queef bin that's it's about who queefed who like did does he queef you or are you queefing so it's it's gotten into that purely from the other person pushing air up in you it's their fault I say I've never queefed alone so I know but then some girls messaged me and said they can queef alone so it's been it's gotten kind of controversial interesting okay for well we are going to put a poll up and see if you guys have queefed alone because now I'm I'm really curious about that somewhat concerned for those that are queefing alone or a little jealous would love the skill actually I'm glad I can't cuz I would never stop I'd be like look what I could do I have enough flatulence from the other hole I don't need don't need a double whammy I'm okay there check out giggly Squad be sure to watch the special it is so good let's get let's get it to number one let's go do it let's go put on repeat I love it all of Hannah's links will be in the description of the podcast the YouTube easy easy guys it's one click one click but thank you for coming on always welcome just come whenever you just say I'm coming works until next time guys bye [Music]