Kristen Bell Returns Again | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert I'm Dak Shepard I'm joined by Lily padman hello oh my God this is a little tip of a upcoming thing we had a guest on that had your same name yeah and to mitigate confusion we establish early on that I would never refer to you as Monica throughout the interview so a good deal of my brain was preoccupied with all of your nicknames you did a great job until the end fun I ran out at the end even though that is one of your monikers you could have moniker moniker yeah [ __ ] me damn it anyways yeah it was kind of a fun thing that's upcoming very fun okay today you've loved her in everything you've seen her in if you've seen her in something and you didn't like her in it then you're a piece of [ __ ] and you need to get down to an optometrist have your eyes looked at have your ears checked because she's all around delightful yes acting robot acting robot my bride Kristen Bell is here to talk about her new show which from the bottom of my heart is absolutely brilliant I can't believe they pulled it off it is called the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window that's the first time I've said it correctly on Netflix out now please enjoy Kristen [Music] Bell [Music] he I might have made a tactical blunder I'm just going to be ahead of it which is I just now 1.2 lbs uh sloppy joe seconds before you did house it strug looks great I like to power wash it once a year mhm yeah that's what you want to do with a Metaline wine TR we're getting close in fact the power washer is plugged in so maybe this would be the weekend plugged in to the ooler that's right oh great great great great great update you're about to hear a a really unfortunate event that's happened in the last two days you like to start the story starting what a week ago no it was about it was 3 days ago 3 days ago yeah well okay irrelevant sometime this week matter I just want people to know how long you were smelling it yeah I will we'll get to that okay okay so in our bedroom you know the girls sleep on the floor of our bedroom and a few nights ago I smell a really runchy smell and I'm like who's farting uhoh right you go to the obvious first right all three of them are like sorry it's me so I go okay my family has gas Big D you know makeup in the morning wow nobody's gas has dissipated something SM but it also smells like it's burning oh I'm glad you're pointing this out because I might have even mentioned this on the show a couple weeks ago is I had profound gas one night and so I woke up to you opening up like the French doors like full blast I needed oxygen right right right you were you were trying to create a nice crosswind to whisk away the smell and of course I felt quite guilty cuz I knew minimally I contribut did to it and perhaps was the leader of it to yeah to work in conjunction with the flow of the gas coming out of you I wanted it to go out of the window right right right so we had an explanation is which was the gas yeah yeah but next morning still smell it God you know what I'll wash the sheets okay great wash the sheets nothing you know what I'll open the French doors again I'll light some candles that always does it right aate the room that night I go to bed I'm like does anybody else smell this like rotten garbage like burning garbage smell Now Delta the little one she is smell sensitive so she goes you know what I do smell it Lincoln and Dax we're out it was like motorcycle riding let's go she is very sensitive to Smells 100% but Lincoln and Dax can't be bothered so Delta and I are well being gaslit oh literally yes to put it plainly Dax and Lincoln are like there is nothing in here we're watching How It's Made which is what we watch to go to bed so the next morning I'm like I got to figure out what this is right we all go to work and go to school that evening I said Lincoln get up here we're smelling every square inch of this room there was also just I want to add we conscripted the girls to look under the all the furniture in the room thinking there could be a stray dog tury right oh that's good a dog doodle a dog doodle or a py a dog py or maybe a croto fell underneath the bed and is RO Wings something food gets eaten up there so I lean down and smell the Mattress dax's Corner his feet corner of the mattress and I almost hit the deck I almost passed out it was so strong and I said Lincoln get over here don't gasl me tell me if this smells she smells it she's like o that is runchy we lift up the sheets it's not the sheets I lift up the mattress cover it's not the mattress cover well it's saturated but I lift up the ooler the ooler smells and just really quick an ooler is this nice little bladder that goes over your bed and then it runs through a a network of tubes either warm or cool water whether you want to warm the bed or cool the bed and I'm sweat so I use it every night continue and it needs to be filled with water and every time it beeps and says it needs water you say what do I say oh she's a thirsty [ __ ] oh she's a thirsty [ __ ] yeah well obviously I'm not using it in the day so it's always a nighttime Escapade and so you know I'm half asleep or whatever it is I'm not at my best no one's at their best the room and I can't turn on all the lights right let me just add one thing this story does have a point yeah okay I need everyone to know that so I run downstairs get ax I'm like I found it I found it this is what smells he sits on the end of the bed and he goes oh my God I remember a couple nights ago she beeped like she needed water mhm she was thirsty she was thirsty and he grabbed a cup of liquid oh no well let me just I got to just add a detail every night's the same thing for me as you know I bring in two blender bottles full of water I consume one of them and then the other one goes into dump in the CU egg in my mind I always have two fresh waters in the blender cups and I'm sure that in your mind that's all you have on your nightstand but you have like a bunch of tokens a bunch of knickknacks you have some sunglasses you have a ton of tissues you have some workout powder some pre and post-workout powder you have a protein shake you have books wrong so many allergies folks so the point is it was messy he grabs a bottle of liquid pours it in there turns out it was probably a old protein shake that's been running through the ooler for 2 days longer longer so disgusting it had been out 10 days before I had dumped that in there oh that's irrelevant it is the point is we were sleep I just wanted everyone to know it had some time toot burning garbage so then I look it up and it's like yes it has a UV setting great we put the UV setting on get real no okay you can't flush py through there pop on the UV and expect to have drinking water at the end of that so I take it off I put it in the tub I try to drain the water out of it that doesn't really work Dax takes it downstairs and hooks up the power washer to it to push everything out of the tubes sorry ooler I'm sure they're like that's not what we designed it for you're not supposed to put a power washer into the tubes also it doesn't take pre- your poost workout powder it also might have been athletic greens it doesn't take athletic greens don't put a protein shake in your ooler I remember as I admitted later I should have brought this up I should have this is a failing on my part but again it was the middle of the night I was like oh this [ __ ] thirsty and then I poured it all in and then when I set it back on the nightstand I thought was that liquid red at the bottom and the only thing red I have is the Pre-Workout you spoke of earlier so I think perhaps there was some pre-workout maybe so Kristen found it right but we concluded it was very late we all had to go to sleep so we go to sleep slep on it yeah because you couldn't smell it at this point cuz we had washed the sheets and the duvet cover and the pillowcases and everything so if you didn't put your nose in it you weren't getting all that much and we agreed like we'll do this in the morning cuz it was late when you discovered that previously I couldn't even smell in the air but once I got a scent like a hound dog the whole night it's all I could smell and I was having a dream all night where I was being asked to fix this and I was trying to get the water out drain that and I needed vinegar in my dream I decided I knew vinegar was going to solve this and about halfway through the process I turned a light on cuz it was too dark and I realized when I had poured out the ooler that the excrement was like all these larv in a pupil State black not just was the whole floor black with maggots I had been standing in it and they crawled up my legs so now I have pupil State bugs all over my legs and I need vinegar so bad and I kept dumping [ __ ] in it and I kept smelling it because in real life I was smelling it in my sleep like when you have to pee at night and you have a dream that you pee and then you're walking away and you're like God I still got to pee I've done I don't know if you guys do that you ever do that yeah it was that it very eventful the last couple days so the ooler is currently drying on chairs on the deck and this smells terrible still I don't think it's going to be it's going to be a full total yeah I believe it's it's a real bummer so the Erol is cool like you can have each side of the bed have a different temperature and and stuff like that I put mine on warm usually yes yeah so while you Dax were out of town I stayed with Molly one night uhhuh and they have an ooler and I was sleeping on Eric's side of the bed cuz you guys were out of town and his side of the bed is so cold I mean it is like 0 deg and I was wrapped up in all these blankets but it doesn't matter cuz you're laying on top of it of ice and it was so cold and then when Molly would go to the bathroom I would just touch her side which was so warm I was just like trying to get some warmth when I could it was freezing and I was like wow he sleeps like this and it okay hold on a second though you and I have had a couple different debates about the fact that you and Molly clearly have a burgeoning romance you go on romantic vacations yes and you guys are in hot tubs together drinking wine and looking at each other at the sunset now come to find out you guys are also sleeping together well if we're going to have a sleepover we're going to share a bed okay all right okay okay I mean we do that if we're going to be a hotel or something well yeah because we want to chat sure we want to chat and we want to talk right until the moment where we go to sleep maybe it's a gender thing I mean Aaron and I will sleep in the same bed but as you guys know we're both too big to kind of share a bed and his snoring historically has been an issue well no cuz like when Jed slept over there was a time you were out of town when the girls were really little and Jed slept over and we slept in the same bed I mean Jed is not interested in women so that there was no threat there but he's also my best friend and then as you remember Bob our pool guy took you aside a couple days later freaking tattled on me he said she had a man sleep over Dax and I was like B why don't you mind your business I don't like that back off Bob it's nice like he was doing that for you but also it's it's rude but like Bob doesn't have bro code with you well I just in Bob's defense he predates you but he doesn't know the the situation you guys have maybe he doesn't made assumptions yeah yeah well he just brought it up he didn't say like your wife's cheating on you just said it seems like I need to tell you I've I saw a man coming and going while you're were out of town look a bob is older than us he's from a one or two generations prior to ours so you know he's got a different thing he's working with yeah I just now I feel like there's surveillance we don't have him anymore sadly now that's Carly and yur's problem now well he's not dead no we hav't lost we just moved yeah no we [ __ ] love Bob and Bob's still under the employee of that house and now probably keeping an eye out I imagine for year he's probably probably watching my sister like a hawk when he's over there although I wonder if he'll flip it for her and keeping as his eyes on your if it's about loyalty it should be Carly yeah it should be that he's looking out for Carly yeah cuz they've known each other for 16 plus years okay so we are here to talk about your new show and and your colonoscopy oh two hot topics hot well let's start with the colonoscopy okay does that sound yeah you had one I had an elective colonoscopy performed by Bob our pool guy right well he had all the tubes did you use the ooler tube they oh my God maybe that's why it smells so yes you're supposed to start getting colonoscopies I think at 45 and 40 if you have any family history I do so I was like get in there yeah and I'd never had one before and you can't eat for 24 hours it used to be that you took this like dank liquid but now there's pills I've had like six or seven of them only had the liquid previous and then when you got one of course there was some breakthrough in technology and you walk in with a little bottle of pills and I was like what the hell is this they were quarter Siz pills and you had to take 15 of them 10 hours before and then 5 hours before so I took it at night before I went to bed and then I wasn't I guess prepared for what was going to happen afterwards because it really is like it's drain out full clean out it's absolute drain out it's a power wash if you will it is ding ding ding ding ding ding you have to wig up at 3: in the morning and do it again here's what I wish they would have told me you don't eat for 24 hours okay that's fine I get that you also don't sleep for 24 hours because you are up power washing your insides the whole night you can't go to the bed it's unbelievable so I prep wake up in the morning I'm so exhausted I go in but I'm also kind of excited you know like I like having medical information new audience oh also new audience and you know I love doctors I got a thousand is a nurse so you know there's a lot to be done there and I walk in everything was super duper easy super duper nice the week prior when I was filling out the forms I had taken Lincoln into the office and she looked at my doctor and he was like nice to meet you and she said are you the doctor that's going up my mom's [Music] butt so yeah I went and it was absolutely great everyone was so nice now when I was on the table like being prepped prior to getting the anesthesia I felt like I asked them a thousand medical questions I just felt like I had all of them there were like eight people in there not gastrointestinal stuff just all you encompassing Health ISS yeah how long do you flush a wound out like all these things like is it actually better to cover a scab or do you want to let it dry out you know like all the things that you would want to ask is this under anesthetic or pre-anesthetic okay preee okay okay and then they gave me the anesthetic and of course I remember talking for5 seconds before I was out yes and then when I woke up nothing was uncomfortable they said I aced the exam and I said did I say anything fun while I was waking up from the anastesia and she said you complained a lot about the toilet paper in your house okay because what I realized is I had slept in a separate bedroom cuz I knew I was going to be up on the toilet all night sure in and out in and out and somehow the motor home toilet paper which is really easily biodegradable and disintegrable was stocked in that spare bedroom ask question like less than one ply oh it's it's like using cardboard thin cardboard okay now I didn't ask this at the time I let this blow right by because I didn't want to get in a dust up over this but now that you're here on air seems like a good time for a dust up are you positive that was motor home toilet paper and not that horrendous [ __ ] toilet paper you bought so that there'd be no plastic waste I'm not sure yeah we'll have to we'll have to I'm pretty certain it's that one you got and I finally said look I love the environment but I can't be putting my finger through the tissue every time I wipe my butt there's got to be some kind of standard of performance in toilet paper now there's some other things you can there's wiggle room right your water pressure is 30 PSI instead of 45 you can live with that right but you grab some tissue you've made a mess back there and the last thing you need to add to your plate is that as is a puncture yeah finger Brown I hate to say this but I think you may have been hoisted by your own petard okay all right that's fair I don't have enough information to have know how the moo toilet paper would have got into the house cuz it only lives in the moo well look there are miscellaneous items all over the house I mean there books all over the floor there are rolled up rugs on a shelf like there's a lot of items in different places in the house so wasn't that far off we have a distribution center yes as we've said and also the girls just walk through rooms and it's like a teenager late night in a grocery store they're taking things off of shells and putting them where they don't belong just for shits and giggles rethinking it two aisles over yeah and just just because they're Mischief Makers anyway the only other thing that happened was when I was waking up they said you did tell us all that you would teach us how to play Spades all the nurses said that I promised them i' you guys got to know how to play Spades I'm going to teach you and I don't remember that at all but apparently I was dreaming of Spades also if you don't know the game spades what do you even think this game is it is it like an athletic game is it pickle is it baseball is it like what are you offering to teach them do they even know it's a idea but what they're supposed to do to someone under anesthetic is just go yeah okay yeah great well I think because anesthesia in your brain these are all assumptions I'm making you didn't ask them I didn't she was triaging her questions so first was like scabs had to get an answer to that yeah well no this was when I woke up I was assuming that if someone's groggy you don't ask them to be at full capacity you sort of just agree with them and you say do you need to pee how are you feeling are your eyes blurry like you're doing an actual medical triage on them not asking them to make sense and I imagine these doctors and nurses hear a lot of [ __ ] falling out of people's mouths well you Uncle Grandpa famously under anesthetic said something about I'd like to play with my peeee he did yeah yeah I may have the exact sentence wrong but it was definitely like childlike about that he plays with his peeee this person Uncle Grandpa is a very esteemed intellectual oh he's the last person you think you're going to hear say I play with my does de Grandma know she said he said yeah yeah yeah I think it's a pretty well-known story we remember my story told once before but it's worth repeating I think now cuz we're on the topic but I went in for a colonoscopy and ironically or not I was I want to say like six years sober when I did this and I actually was thinking cuz I got sober at 29 the first time and so I was like 35 and I prepped on an airplane ride back with Kimmel from Memphis and they had gotten blue City Barbecue my favorite barbecue in the world so the prep was miserable it was torture cuz I just sat and watched people eat barbecue couldn't eat blah blah blah had been also thinking in my head not like planning but wondering as addicts do like I got sober so young and I'm not as crazy anymore and I'm not as all these things I wonder would I have a different reaction to drugs this is what I was thinking just prior to things so I go in for the colonoscopy I get the plunger and I feel it and I go oh right oh my God that's what drugs feel like immediately was like all right I can't like this isn't for me I like this too much and then the woman says Can you feel it and then I say as I'm drifting to like out I go well you just went from a six to a 10 sincerely thinking that's a funny joke the woman wasn't a six at all I know we're not saying this anymore but this is an old story and by the way the nurse was beautiful so to me it was an obvious joke it's also a NE well it's a drinking joke or I'm going to drink you beautiful is a old drinking joke and it's just not the thing to say to a nurse who has needles and the ability to knock you out a woman doesn't want to be objectified or evaluated even in the context of a joke but again those were my intentions alas I wouldn't do it again unless I was also [ __ ] on drugs for the first time in seven eight years and this is the point of the story so I don't remember that I remember feeling that feeling and then coming to letting out like a 95 second fart that I couldn't I couldn't believe it wasn't going to stop the first thing I asked chrisan is like did you have a 90c fart wow okay [ __ ] I got I guess it makes sense so much air they put like six feet of camera up your yeah that does make sense I don't remember I'm jumping back one more colonoscopy just quickly cuz Laura took me to my first one my mom and so she was waiting for me and you know it's in one of these recovery rooms where there's like 20 beds and little sheets around things and I'm in one little sheet and my mom I a private room well yeah you're so at the High at the penin I thought maybe when I had the seizure and you were there you were going to get us into a private room and your presence did not I didn't do man okay first colonoscopy I come out and I'm laying on my side and the nurse says you're going to feel the need to pass gas that's natural and as I'm about to say go I don't feel like a 90 second far to the point where it's so long that I I think oh my God they've punctured a hole at the top like Air's going through what's going on all of a sudden I hear my mothers start giggling giggling giggling louder louder louder Lou chisan she's in hysterics by the time they wheel me over to her curtain she's opening it to go to the bathroom cuz she has tinkled in her pants a bit so she laughed so hard from my loud fart that my mom pet her pants in the recovery room what a family farts are F what a [ __ ] family though your mom was also getting one at the same time no she brought me cuz I was cuz I was like 17 or 18 and I had to be driven home and everything and so she just was like 9 ft away with only little curtains separating me from her from the 92 fart okay wow now fast forward to the one I said you just went from a 6 to a 10 don't remember saying that I come to and the nurse is giving me a ton of T she goes I see you didn't do your prep and I go what and she goes there was some stool in there she literally was shaming me embarassing and I go no no I did the thing I did everyone was eating ribs and smoked sausage I didn't have a [ __ ] bite and I did the fleet thing and I've been no she's like no you didn't you had stool stol in there she must have said I had stool in there four times I was so shamed by her and so I got home and all that stuff's wearing off and kind of I'm getting little Snippets of what happened throughout the process and I remember saying that joke to her oh it was that lady it was that nurse all of a sudden I remember myself saying that and I was like that is why you don't do drugs cuz you lose your self-awareness of what's appropriate what's funny what will make people feel good and then there's wreckage the woman shames you about your stool for a long time in front of the other doctors and she goes home and secure if you're listening woman who shamed me you're [ __ ] beautiful there we go and I did not have stool in there we both we know two things to be we know two things to be true you're a [ __ ] smoke show and there was no stool but you were fine you didn't have anything no pups A+ and the cool thing about colonoscopies now guys which is another reason to sign up to get them is anything that they find in there like girls know a ton what PPS are cuz we have papsmear forever and they can remove it while you're under while you're getting your colonoscopy so he saw anything he didn't like he saw a right-hand turn up there that he was not into snip snip they remove him as they find them as they find them which is so great you don't have to come in for another appointment the other thing I got was there's a breath test now and you can do this through the same colonoscopy doctor your gastrointestinal person where you put like a oxygen mask onto your nose with a little two tubes and you just breathe normally for 15 minutes and this gigantic main frame from the 80s no printer it looks like a gigantic Xerox printer tells you whether or not you are candidate for stomach cancer it tells you it doesn't tell you if you have have it but there is a there's a bacteria that is a precursor to stomach cancer and it tells you if you have that Bia so if you have it your GI doctor goes take these antibiotics we're getting that bacteria out of your body if you don't have it he's like you literally can't get stomach cancer I'm going to add another Pro tip in there while you're out if you elect to get put out as I did ask them to also run the camera down your throat because I'm only going to speak for men we see a lot of men in the news who get throat cancer tongue cancer so often that is from HPV it's from oral sex in your Youth and you would see them on your genitals but you of course don't see them in the back of your throat or the back of your tongue so as we all know HPV can come cancerous so you want to get a [ __ ] you want that camera to go down your throat too but here's the thing my doctor told me that my breathing test was so that they didn't have to put a camera down my throat but you also had an HPV vaccine you're young enough that you were vaccinated for HPV correct which I wasn't no one my age was well no but what I mean is the breath test is a replacement for a down the throat no it'll show if you have the precursor to develop stomach cancer but not throat it's not going to show warts in your throat that have become cancerous that the breath test won't do that wouldn't you have like scratchy throat all the time you don't have a ton of nerve endings in your esophagus cuz it would feel painful as you swallow it all the time like you can kind if you notice like even you the other night you thought you had something stuck in your throat or you something may be swalled up or whatever you had a lump in your throat and then you honey I brought it up you when she said this that you often feel like your pill gets stuck in the back of your throat when you swallow it the reason that there's so much ambiguity I don't think a pill can get stuck in your throat like that I don't know the point is it's not like if something was on your hand you could feel so much about it you'd be able to tell exactly where the item is on your hand you have all these nerve endings you have some tactile sense of what it is your throat's not like that when I was little I had what we thought was strep throat but when they looked I did have ulcers up and down my throat and it it I mean it hurts so bad it felt it I thought I had stre throat so I could feel wasn't it like a kind of broad pain and not an acute I don't remember okay cuz when I've had that it's like a soreness in a band around where that stuff is and it's not like a cut on your hand or whatever I don't know how much what you're saying applies to everyone because and maybe this is just because I have worked with my throat as a tool for my job for 25 years I am insanely aware of every part of my throat my throat muscles my soft pette my hard pette my esophagus when it's closed when it's open the flaps the vocal cords I have a an extreme sense of acute awareness down there sure let me go in reverse your organs don't have nerve endings like your skin right you can't feel the inside of your stomach you can't feel the inside of your heart you can't like you get stabbed most people that get stabbed they'll feel it like on the entrance and the exit but they're not you can't feel your organ get punctured so much there's really no purpose to it because the pain sensor is all for you to move right so you feel it on your skin you move but what you going to how you going to move if something's in your stomach cutting it although remember that one chapter in the body keeps the score my favorite book where the woman was having a hysterectomy and her anesthesia took but her pain medication did not and so she was under she was completely knocked out but she could feel everything they were doing and so she felt them going inside she said it was uh so hard to articulate the sensation but it was as if she was on fire and when she woke up she actually didn't remember for a while but she started experiencing symptoms of PTSD at home and she started tis slits and dicks she started seeing a therapist and they were like I wonder why you're so irritable why you're having these outbursts why you're having this depression and they did some sort of therapy session on her she started remembering that she was awake during the was experiencing all the pain even though she wasn't alert and it was just a mistake but she had PTSD because of that what did that story just made you think of Monica I went straight to the Virgin who got pregnant story Mary you think it's a fable no don't you remember there is a virgin who got pregnant cuz she got stabbed in the uterus or somehow Seaman was on maybe in her stomach and she got stabbed twice and the seen actually got stabbed into her OV and she had a baby and she was a virgin there has been a virgin there was a stabbing involved there was a stabbing involved that seems so like so many variables it seems impossible impossible but it was in a news article it is impossible but when you put 7 billion people on Earth guess what the impossible starts happening happens yeah yeah yeah I know stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare have you had any Monica PTSD about your earrings yet no I haven't my ear is healing lovely I picked I picked up some scabs a couple nights ago so there might be some open a tiny bit of open wound but it's doing great it's doing great the swelling has gone down oh good it's on the mend it is on the mend all I have to do is decide do I do that again do I repierce can I suggest maybe some of these guys to you while you're thinking so the guest removed one side of the headphones she's exposing mid I would say on the proximal no on the distal side of the Earl a cuff three separate cuffs oh oh oh yeah okay I can't see the three separate right now cuz my eyes are bad well you got you want to grab a we're going to get an ECU of this hold on hold on so they're by fry power oh good another very cute jewelry company and it's the one we had to make Laura's ring remember Laura's birthday ring that we made yeah Fred power and they're all these awesome like enamel earcuffs Rob's really getting in there he's doing a great job I love a ear cuff it's not uncomfortable zero I can't even I don't even know that it's there and that's even under the headphones anyways I was just thinking that since you you do want more ear Jazz and you want to tell a bigger story I do that's what you call it an ear story oh I didn't know that oh yeah are they using our word of ventti no no it's a neck mess how you set your necklaces up is a neck mess and how you do your earrings as an ear storage oh my gosh you don't know anything I don't get out of that chair so I was just saying these might be a cute interim of like maybe you don't want to go for the piercing that's a good idea that's a good idea I'll consider it and in your mind how what have you filed as being the reason that that happened do you think you're allergic to Gold do you think there was something wrong with the earrings what what do we think happened cuz but it's two for two it's not like one got infected you're right and if I'm being honest another one was infected as well so I have three piercings on the lobe okay on each lobe and then I had the two cartilage piercings when I got the two cartilage piercings that's when I got the third lobe piercing MH so my left ear that third lobe also got infected so the place had some dirty [ __ ] I pulled that one out when I was at my parents house and my ear was black hey and then my mom of course took the opportunity to berate me and remind me that when I was little and I got my ears pierced I had a lot of issues with the earrings that I can only have pure Metals pure metals and I mean solid gold surgical steel posts yes and so the earring must not have been and it was like black and weird looking did you go to like the mall for these no I went to a really can I also say one thing that is another theory and this is just the mom and me if you touch an open wound that's trying to heal you get bacteria in it and you play with those earrings so often Monica and you're always talking about and smells and it's like you're putting I know but you're putting bacteria from your hands in there when they're trying to heal like I wonder if you try it again would you do an experiment like if you get any other piercing okay for one month I'm actually not going to touch it I can promise you that I'll try oh wow but I can't promise you that I can execute because I don't want to let you down and it's hard for me no you're not letting me down not touch it I didn't touch the third lobe very much I did touch it some but that's it you're putting you're putting bacteria from the world into that tiny little hole that's trying it daily when you don't realize you you do something I think you don't realize how much you you touch you're right Anna has yelled at me a lot about that she catches me a lot touching the earrings and she yells your food and yeah yeah can you show Mom your legs well never mind you moisturized the [ __ ] out of them since yesterday you didn't uhuh oh okay they're really hairy right now yesterday Monaco was comparing legs with a guest very similar skin tone Monica and the guest and Monica was complaining about being ashy you know we've we've had now this eight-month debate that ins snared all these other celebrities and having to tell them everyone about their bathing rituals because I've urged Monica to stop washing her Limbs and going to the PTSD model which is pits tits slits and dicks that's all you wash when you shower pits tit slits and dicks she won't even try it I have tried it kind of tits slits tits and Dick why do you wash your tits I don't just cuz it makes the rhh compl because an arm Cherry came up with pits tits and slits okay got it got so we'll keep tits in there cuz it makes it more you don't want like oils on it your areolas maybe there's a whole I've never washed my boobs I've never washed my bras I wash my bras three times a year and we know why cuz yesterday one got [ __ ] destroyed you had to put one in the grave I I had to put a bra down yesterday it was really sad because it snapped in the washer which tells me I have been washing that bra too often great conclusion are you drying them this is the kind of conclusion monacle have as well you're not supposed to dry them they're not to be dried bers no you want you want to hang dry those that and like workout clothes anything with spandex but you should also wash your face you have to you have toh your face disagree with that but you that's fine I'm not that's not a hill I'm going to die on but the arms you don't need to wash your arms and your legs they're in pants all day water want them to smell good all you do is the water goes over and you just by the way every dermatologist in America has got on the message boards to confirm that I am right about this so I'm not what they say about feet because I've never washed my feet and the only thing you're supposed to pee on them okay slow down okay so the the only thing is when we were on the good place Mike had written a line that where Elanor was being made fun of by Michael Ted Danson's character and he's like that says here you never wash your feet in the shower and Elanor kind of looks guilty and then that day I said to one of the writers I was like wait but you guys are making a joke but I never wash I've never washed never washed my feet can I tell you something if you're listening [ __ ] absolutely don't wash your feet in the shower cuz it's dangerous as [ __ ] you might as well put ice on the bottom of your Tong if you are so hellbent on washing the bottom of your feet after you're out of the shower sit on the Tet and then wash them with a washcloth do not put soap on your feet you could sit in the tub and do it still like you're going to make positive you got no slippery soap on the bottom you're going down you're talking concussion I also kind of feel like with shampoo and soap falling to the ground enough hits my feet and rinses them also what you should pee on your feet that's how you can avoid getting athletes foot okay girls have a harder time with that you can aim and we can't you're right you're right you're right I mean I guess you could pee and then just like step all in it I well what about those little baby buckets back when I was a baby there's these little tiny little things they would give babies baths in you know what I'm talking about huh just kind of like a rubber plasticky little baby tub put that in your shower and then step in it and then Yan if you're a girl and fill up the tub we give horrible advice on this show I can concede that that last one's bad advice I will say Monica I understand what you are saying about wanting your body to just like have a pleasant smell but do you think you could do that with like a coconut oil or a lotion or something cuz that's what I do is like I'll put like a coconut oil on after the shower I haven't necessarily washed my limbs that's I mean look you're doing the conventional moisturizing routine we talked about your skincare routine yesterday your skincare video on vote we talked about that with the guest as well and I'm going for like the soap smell like the natural smell from my volcanic ash soap I just want to smell like that yeah and I do smell like that I wonder if we can make that into a perfume for you because you can send it into a scent place and be like like this is my favorite scent yes this is my favorite scent I want to smell like this but I only have it in a soap I want it in a lotion I want it in a perfume I want it in an oil and and it can do it okay can I ask you a question oh sure yeah so you just learned that about the volcanic soap and you've got a nice solution for her that's great but you've also known for a year now that I love the smell of my ball soap mhm and then I said I wish it was a cologne I've said that like 30 times in front of you yeah I have it written in my planner to do that for your like I I know I that's why I know that you can make a scent because I've looked it up oh that's even better ruin just forced you into ruining it no I it's not ruined I'll still give you a fun GI I didn't know why you wanted Monica to have a nice perfume like her thing but you didn't care like the smell of my ball no I do I already wrote it down for you as a gift in my one of my notebooks I have a page where it's what people say and like good gifts for the future okay which by the way can I say one thing I don't think you entirely unwrapped your popcorn present because I unwrapped the second half of it there was a part in the box that had bubble wrap it is a motorcycle helmet no that they have hollowed out and put popcorn decals all over that has a handle get out and the inside is a popcorn bowl I did not see that I know I unwrapped the bubble wrap so for people who don't know Aaron and I when we go shopping for popcorn we're never certain which one has the most butter cuz every one of them is a superlative butus butter extra butter movie theater extra butter extreme MC buttery buttery yeah electric butter red and Butters and so my idea was to come out with too much [ __ ] butter flavor and then I said it enough times that by God Mr Redenbacher sent us a box of too much [ __ ] butter they printed printed new boxes it's not a sticker they printed boxes they put them through Orval through the switch orille himself yep dax's too much [ __ ] butter movie theater popcorn and in it they included a little remote control car that has a popcorn bowl on top so you can deliver the popcorn and what I realized is the other half of it that was just under bubble wrap is a hollowed out helmet that is a popcorn bowl man I wish I would have realized that for the football game okay so colonoscopy check ooler check and can we now talk about your show sure cuz I'm rabid for it have you watched it I have noted my God is it [ __ ] okay so let's start at the beginning first of all three people I was in the Groundlings with wrote this Hugh Rachel and Larry m okay that's fun and then when you pitched me the idea which was like Gone Girl but a comedy MH I said that is swinging for the fences like that is going to be one of the hardest needles to throw read of laughing yet having story with suspense that drives those things mind you I'm sure it's what people thought when Edgar Wright wanted to make Shawn with the dead like wait Sha of the it's gonna how is it going to be a comedy and Gore whatever brilliant well so I had some reservations I'm naturally probably as you would say our pattern has been as I I'm a little more protective of you than you are which is its own thing and its own thing to observe with which is like you really just pick the things you like which is impressive and you've had some losers from that and you've had some outrageous winners from that and I've not been right at predicting n any of them so it was useless but I thought woo this is a big old swing yeah this is a big big big swing and so I I was a little nervous but now I've seen the Finish thing and it's incredible it's I can't believe they did we also got to give a big shout out to Michael Leman the director of it because he directed all the True Blood True Blood he Direct Heathers yeah originally yeah but like and I think some westw worlds like he's a really high-end TV director and the Veronica Mars reboot I pulled him for that yeah right so he's just so talented and so he made the world so perfect and I kept saying to Chris while we were watching it like if this isn't the power of the formula in action I've never seen it so strong genre is bulletproof this genre of a psychological Thriller part particularly the ones written by women for women it is absolutely bulletproof because how we attempted to build suspense while increasing the absurdity and Were Somehow able to lovingly poke fun at this genre celebrating celebrating it with smiles while keeping people interested in the who done it of it all mhm that's cool and the whole time we were shooting it every single actor I was looking at my scam partners and we were both going what are we doing this is are we terrible is this anything what are we even doing here yeah all your scenes with Tom Riley are so incredible and he might have the hardest job in the show because he has to be scary and set up all this comedy and look like a [ __ ] insane person quite often he has to play so many different roles because what the audience might not realize is the formula for this is that you meet a woman who is very sympathetic she's going through grief she's drinking too much you want her to succeed but she's making bad choices did she see a Murder She utters the obligatory line I know what I saw and then you're in but what you don't realize is all the other characters in the show you're not actually seeing them you're seeing her imaginary version of them so at one moment he moves in across the street she wants him to be the husband she's always needed and he looks fabulous and he's so studly and then when she starts to get scared and thinking who he done it in the who done it he done it she starts to see his Venom and so you're viewing all of these other characters in the show through your female protagonist's eyes so they are just a rainbow of different people yeah I'm laughing laughing laughing but then the end of each episode is super effective Cliffhanger formula that I'm like dying to watch the next one and then jokes jokes jokes I'm scared jokes jokes jokes [ __ ] who did do this like you're sucked into both things at the same time it's incredible I'm really really impressed say the name of the of course I didn't do research on you but then it occurred to me I should have at least written the title down because I'll never know the title why don't you take a crack at it think of the title sequence that you loved It's the funniest title sequence I've ever seen cuz the title of the show is a paragraph So it's yeah the woman in the window across the street from the girl in the bedroom the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window they almost shortened it so when they set up the title sequence it's like they're trying to go through it but it's a paragraph So now in the title sequence they just start kind of Smash cutting to words but there's too many words so it starts going really fast and they just pop up for this entire title it's just the word from the and it's all nonsense oh my God the title sequence is an A+ joke it is an A+ joke this was my main concern if you recall I was like boy this is tough because you got to hook people into the reality of the show but also if you don't let them know that it's a satire they're going to be like why is Kristen in this show that's kind of what my fear for you was my prote fear was that and so I kept thinking like you guys need to wink a little bit more earlier on that's where the finest tuning happened which they dialed it perfectly yeah and so never in my mind was I thinking oh there might also be a title sequence between that first scene and this and the title sequence itself might tell you it's insane that's why I wanted to keep the title so bad because there was talk from a lot of business people that were involved of like oh well it doesn't fit in the Box we need it to be easily searchable all the things that you need to maintain when you're running a platform like and you have data you know if it's uh yeah Wedding Crashers hangover and this was the hill that I died on I called everyone in there and I said I will not stop calling you until you agree to keep this title you have to keep the title because you have to let people know that we're winking if only because in all the scenes that I was doing particularly in the scenes with Tom the dialogue it was like so on the nose and for lack of a better description just kind of not great terrible yeah and and you're reading it and and you had to completely relinquish who you were as an actor because as an actor I would normally go huh hey can I talk to the writer real quick this is a tiny bit on the nose is there another way I could say this that might be more interesting and Tom and I had to fight our instincts because you actually have to surrender to the genre you're not in charge as an actor you have to let the genre live also actually even more complicated a new genre a satire Thriller yeah maybe there's others and I don't know about we did quite a bit of research trying to figure out what our tone would be we wanted it to be subtle we wanted the jokes to be like you start to notice that my character has a fat ego about she know she's an artist of course and she's always dressed really well even though you're like where did she get her money because in every single one of these the undoing they're always like a preschool teacher and they're wearing Louis Vuitton and you're like how well that's funny and she was a great painter a great painter and then they show the paintings it's so average but everyone who walks by him is like wow you did this you got to paint again because that's her version of them saying it sort of but it's also not necessarily it's the genre of like wow she was so talented the gong girl protagonist had given up some great career as a journalist maybe to move to the town God I love that book though and we love the author live show Chicago if you recall oh yeah Jillian Flyn and by the way like Jillian writes the best of all of them and in the ones in the 80s we felt like were um Tom made this point the other day of like they were a little Kier like you have like Basic Instinct they were a little bit more wink wink or stylized they were almost like intentionally be movies yeah yeah but they've gotten really really sincere you see like the undoing and you're like whoa I think that's where Rachel Hugh and Larry were like hey maybe we could kind of poke fun at this a little bit wouldn't that be interesting and I have to assume Rachel must actually love those shows cuz she seems to be an expert of that genre she's read every single one and watched every single one and so much so that she had so much incredible input like the bookcase that we never even do an insert of behind my character as she's looking out the window this half the season there's all these books lined up and it's like the woman on the grid the girl in the floorboards the all the the stupidest titles the lady in the rafters yeah that you could imagine what is the undoing the Nicole Kidman Hugh Grant one we didn't know who killed who yeah that was a weird one cuz it was not for me but it was for me same same same like yeah those Cliffhangers made me want to keep watching but the whole time I was watching I was like I don't like this but then I had to finish I hope people have the same reaction with this show yeah yeah I don't like this this is bad but I've got to finish it get through it it's so [ __ ] good when does it come out it's available on Netflix the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window yes damn that's like is there an acronym for that yeah yeah we have a hashtag and it's incredible because it's all just a jumble of like it's literally like you smash the keyboard it's very fun do you know that that's Ricky glassman's unique skill do you guys know that about him what he can make acronyms real time like you could say 20 things and he immediately will give it to you as an acronym it's a it's a real superpower that's very cool speaking of new shows everyone's got a new show but got as we see it which is great it's a beautiful show I need to watch that too lots to watch oh so yeah congrats I haven't felt this way and this is no disrespect you've been so many wonderful things house Eliza was great of course good place is great but I haven't been hooked by one of your shows since Ron Mars where like if you recall you tried to interrupt me on like episode three and I yelled yeah you were like shut up you're talking to weevil like you're having it out with we yeah which I thought was so sweet cuz you watched it just cuz you thought I got to get through this girl's work we're dating now I got to know what she's done I just told that story like this week and I phrased it exactly the same way I guess I'm going to get through this you know and then you got hooked that made me so happy and I'm hooked uh like when this is over I'm going to blast through the remaining four so fun you know what's cool too is in some ways it's Yellowstone esque yeah in the drama of all yeah where you're just kind of like I'm shocked how much I love this genre or whatever it is like well there's so much fun to be had like there's so many St stereotypes that we all we have to do is show them we don't even have to make fun of them like one of your favorite Runners you said was my neighbor Carol is constantly talking about her husband Scott Scott has a very big meeting tomorrow please keep it down Scott has important clients coming in you have to be a did you get any of our mail Scott is expecting a very important letter like she's so into Scott's career and it's the stupidest Runner and it means nothing but it really makes you laugh when it happens oh wow and it reminds you oh yeah there are people that talk like that yeah yeah oh it's so wonderful that is so fun I'm so excited oh that's really really good what else you got in the hopper love H Titan of Industry that you are oh wow you've really turned your sword to the producing world and I don't know that people know that you produce what seven or nine shows at this point I produce a few things yeah Dori Dori on Amazon it's entertainment but it will give your child a music education it was formed in the wake of Music being slashed from public schools and we thought why can't we teach music theory in an entertainment show and it's got really catchy songs that Jackie tone wrote and we love it and a friend of ours child's already uh obsessed with it which is like all you want oh yeah lots of K yeah our daughters sing it all the time and they don't like anything I'm in yeah yeah another show that will be out on Nickelodeon at the end of 2022 called the tiny Chef oh and he's the cutest little fell if you don't follow him on Instagram you must the tiny Chef how's he talk love can you oh I I could never do him and that's saying a lot cuz I can do a lot of voices yeah he is the sweetest the show comes out with Nichol and imagine we're producing at the end of 2022 I'm very excited about that and then you're out pitching something with a lot of our friends brother oh yeah and then Monica and I have a little side hustle of a producing we might try to make something bigger out of mom's sping the little digital show we do and then pitching a show with Ryan Hansen to Universal that's looking very likely and yeah lots of behind the scenes producing stuff even developing a show with Jess developing a show Jess yes and developing a show with these guys I love called the dumb dad's pod oh yes who are these Comedians and they just do a ton of funny Tik Tok and Instagram videos about the dad world and being a stay-at-home dad and I find them so entertaining yeah taking a lot of people and trying to get them a yeah some action put them in the game piece of the pie also cuz you just said I can do most people which is the truth you're a certified mimic and this again ding ding ding Yellowstone one of our characters on Yellowstone if you watch it Grandpa is Grandpa who he's kind of Taken Jimmy under his wing he's one of the Cowboys that's branded side note before you do the impersonation I guess it's we're on season 3 and [ __ ] Granddad takes his top off and we hit the dick snik this guy's carrying about 190 lbs of lean muscle mass it looked like a Ste from Fight Club who is it he's like I don't want to offend him but he's way over 70 I don't think he's way over 70 but he's not a spring chicken he plays the older guy the names are sometimes hard for us so we just call him Grandpa and if you put basically like gray hair on Charlie and a big gray mustache W exceptional and there was no hint of it prior to this just all of a sudden he's in the bunk house in a they playing a drinking game and they take their shirts off and we were like Whoa We were freeze framing popping pictures I mean we immediately on with Luke Grimes saying you better find out who Grandpa's trainer is but anyways this is how he talks to Jimmy so I'm going to try and make this not a spoiler but he and Jimmy are going to the rodeo I can say that yeah okay he always calls him Jimmy and he said you'll be swimming in Buckle bunnies no time Jimmy and then they get to the rodeo and this really attractive cowgirl stops and says hi to Jimmy and grandpa says that's a bucker bunny Jimmy oh goodness so the entire time we watch Yellowstone Kristen repeats every one of granddad's lines and you do pretty good the sister too as I recall people who haven't seen Yellowstone like me I can't relate but you can do so many Impressions so maybe you should do a couple others that people will know okay well for the folks that watch the crown she does an incredible whoever Margaret Thatcher oh oh yes [Music] yeah yeah it's spot on she does what the problem yes your majesty yeah I need to know the words though I got it I'll I'll find it we we plenty of time yeah so I'll be sure to let her know I can't remember but what about like Drew that's what I mean like I don't know if everyone knows all these people but to show your real skill level it needs to be someone that everyone knows a Drew Barry more which I know you do a well the problem with there is as you'll recall is that if she's around the person she can nail it like if they're in her orbit she can do them spot on but then that's where your memory gets [ __ ] up cuz you used to do an incredible Vince Von which only I've only heard Justin do yeah do you remember how he talks he'll go like yeah I mean that's the only thing you might want oh like he he has that kind yeah I mean that was also going into Owen Wilson a little bit but yeah he has a I don't know why don't we just give everybody a cell phone yeah cell phone cell phone and then Drew come on Miracle what was the whales name whales name come on Bam Bam you can do it so good when she's talking Bam Bam come on Bam Bam you can do it oh it's it's soid you and Justin need to get together and do like a kind of mimic [ __ ] podcast or something SNL missed an opportunity oh they [ __ ] the [ __ ] bad having you on there they yeah they blew it they blew it and now they don't have anybody to do Impressions cuz they miss me there was somebody else oh who did we just watch the viral video uh oh I know yeah this is my favorite Monica when you you showed this to me I thought Rob showed it to me to also give credit it's the best video to come out of 2021 100% and it goes a little something like um the show you well what's it called you well I never did a show on me we never did a show on measel what's he talking about stupid you it's called you stupid I there's a show on Netflix called Laura Ingram it's so good oh there's a show on Netflix called Laura Ingram and she just she does not believe him let me just say what her household is is like generally you and I have like nine different things we're stuck on and just all day long you hear like back up what's his name Terry back up Terry back up that amazing Firework video where Terry didn't back up quick enough so anything something's like a misfire in the kitchen and you got your hands full and shit's dropping you either of us would just be like Terry back up or now it's always uh what you talking about stupid stupid that is an incredible clip oh oh boy oh boy so talented so pretty so kind what A Gift To America that's right I'm so proud of you I really hope people watch the lady in the dog house watching a kitten have soup kitten have soup yes a woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window thanks for giving me some air time I appreciate you both and you wobby wob well I love you and I really want everyone to watch the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window oh that's a buckle bunny Jimmy that's a buckle bunny Jimmy all right love you guys stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare and now my favorite part of the show The fact check with my soulmate Monica padman you're dressed like a who a a teddy bear yeah I'm in skims oh my gosh Kim Kardashian skims oh she has her own line oh yeah skims is a huge wait she owns skims yeah oh I didn't know that I thought you were saying like she had a line of no no no skims is her Kardashians wow mhhm it's a very wow product w wow speaking of the Kardashians you would be better to answer this remember in first episode of cheer they're showing them all be famous yeah and they go on The Ellen Show yeah was that a Kardashian a Jenner yeah how tall is she she's a model oh my goodness yeah Kendall Jenner okay she's got to be like pushing six feet I think I mean cheerleader are small and Ellen is of average height I suppose yeah but she looked really really like like I was out there she's a runway model she's very tall and very beautiful oh wow Bruce's daughter Bruce and um um Caitlyn and how do we say that cuz what it was Bruce's daughter I think I would I'm gonna say oh [ __ ] yeah it's Kaitlyn and what's her name I'm blanking Chris it's Chris Kardashian and kayn Jenners right Kendall Jenner you know the documentary series we watched the sports documentary series yes the one with malice in the palace yeah and they did Jenner exactly yeah and they did Bruce's whole story right and Caitlyn is telling it but Caitlyn is referring to that time as Bruce right right right right right but Caitlyn's also just in an nigma additionally cuz she didn't want gay marriage to be legal there's like a lot of paradoxical things or what I would imagine she's a controversial character yeah yeah yeah yeah it's called Untold Untold such a good show a good thing and a ding ding ding For an upcoming guest I'm not going to spoil anything but we have a guest we do in root that was a part of that Series yeah so oh we were talking about the Kardashians so Chloe's the one I saw on Allen and she's no Kendall oh oh oh Kendall Jenner Kendall Jenner so okay so there's Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner okay those are kids of Chris Kardashian and Caitlyn okay so those two sisters then the other three sisters are from Robert Shapiro Robert Kardashian they're from Robert Kardashian and Chris Kardashian was okay okay so Shapiro was OJ's attorney but Kardashian was his good friend who hooked him up with that's how got confused also on his team in the mix there the Dream Team yeah yeah yeah um that's an interesting name for it I think they called it that really mhm oh H so well first of all your little bear outfit just made me think of a video that Charlie sent me uh from Instagram I don't know if you've seen it but you know my great fantasy is to fight a mountain lion yeah yeah think about it all the time and um I don't want to fight a bear I don't have any desire to fight a bear I don't think I can win in that fight and there's a video of this kind of older man with a beard he's a mountain man and it's like at his like mountain house and there's a screened in porch in his he's out there with like his cat or his dog and as his dog walks by the screen door which is open a [ __ ] bear comes at it and the guy immediately drops on his knees like a Greco Roman wrestler I said to Charlie this guy definitely was like a college wrestler he's old and he gets in his firm position he there's a bucket next to him he swats the bucket at the bear and then he lunges up like a [ __ ] Greco Roman wrestler and shoves this bear they're in it for a minute he wrestles a bear and gets the bear out of the [ __ ] screen in porch and wins and then slides a couch in front of the door opening and this guy if you just glan at him and you said by the way in 5 seconds this guy's going to be fighting a very large bear you're like that guy's gone and guess what that's the thing about these guys with wrestling skills you just don't know you don't know or Oscar De La Hoya if you were to meet Oscar De La Hoya do you even know who that is I heard the name the boxer he was a tremendous middleweight boxer I think middleweight tremendous tremendous legendary so cute so cute and kind looking and he was on an episode of punked and the whole time I was sitting there looking at him he I think he probably boxed at 145 or something so I am much bigger than him yeah and he's so sweet looking and I'm thinking man you know that guy flips you off in traffic and gets out of his car and you see him walking into your car you're out in 2 seconds look at this little cutie guy coming at you I said to him and we have boxing gloves and I'm we're in a boxing ring and I said you know don't hurt me but I would like to experience the combination oh wow and he said okay and Monica I felt two punches before I saw the first one coming which was the third oh my good you couldn't see the jab the jab was invisible he was so F I was like that's amazing oh it really doesn't matter what size this person is you you're getting hit you can't even respond wow yeah and then he told me you know which was interesting was BTS about boxing he said I said oh my God you're so fast I've never experienced someone move their hands that fast it's like it's boggling and he said and you know it's only at best half of boxing he said you either have a chin or you don't people are born with a chin or they're not what's that mean you can't knock them out like you can hit them in the chin all day long that's the button that's generally where when guys get knocked out they hit in the oh in the jaw and it shoves their jaw back and it's in your T whatever the physiology that's when people get knocked out it's generally right on the button which is your chin got it and the Very one my favorite fighter all grown up was Julio CER Chavez the guy you couldn't knock he had fought a hundred fights undefeated and his record was I don't know that it'll ever get matched he was at one point like 99 and 0 or something it's because you could there was no knocking him out they took a um an X-ray of his cranium it was abnormally thick as people can have thinner or thicker craniums and that's just half of the thing is like half of it's administering punishment and the other half is taking punishment and if you don't have that second half it doesn't really matter BTS BTS okay so this is kind of an interesting fact check because it's it's seconds after we have concluded the interview I had Rob take some facts down for me this will be interesting yeah this your first ever fact check uh yeah and Under Fire real time oh my God it's exciting this is really exciting and novel okay first one on here does Bob the pool guy look out for Carly or Keith oh and it seems like he texted Carly to ask and Carly said he would still tell Dax only if Kei or I cheated so he's still very loyal to you and I so that's good that's good that's good okay Kristen asked how how long do you flush a wound out she asked the nurses this um it says rinse the wound for at least 5 minutes to remove dirt debris and bacteria wounds that are large deeper bleeding non-stop should be treated by a professional oh yes Kristen ask is it better to air a scab or wrap it to promote an optimal healing environment keep it covered says banda.ms just read here that Diet Coke is safe from dietcoke.com the Cleveland Health website says airing out most wounds isn't beneficial because wounds need moisture to heal leaving a wound uncovered May dry out new Surface cells which can increase pain or slow the healing process mhm okay this is a great question is it normal to fart after your colonoscopy oh well I already know they yeah you already know the answer is yes you may have a bloated gashes feeling in your abdomen after a colonoscopy passing gas in belching will help walking or lying down on your left side with your knees flexed may relieve the discomfort that's what you did for the 90c fart when I was a teen she encouraged me to do that oh she did she like pull your knees up L smell no okay yeah it's just sound cuz it's just air hilarious sounds because if when that long you're going to get almost every Octave of a fart every kind of flappy sound a high pitch scream a thunderous Roar a thunder clap and in a fireworks display it's the grand finale wow yeah it's spectacular honestly it was fun I mean the fact that my mom pet her pants on the [ __ ] bed is that's of the whole thing Laura's pretty famous for peener pants in fact with any luck because Laura will be at the PDX show oh yeah my mom maybe we can make her pee her pants at the show would be and if she does we'll call her on stage and point at the PE stain and everyone can laugh and point at my mom oh that's a good time everyone will love that especially my mom she loves to have her PE pointed out by a few thousand strangers yeah okay the woman who got pregnant from stabbing thank you yes okay 15-year-old girl African nation of what's looks like loto l s o t h o okay yeah just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practiced valacio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover the fight with knives ensued a plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that the sperm gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract and she had some disorder where she didn't have a vagina right so they like you're just lying yeah yeah she did have some kind of um congenital thing I believe wow that's just so many factors coming together she probably has a lot of [ __ ] pack I want to know what was going on with her vagina that it was inoperational yeah un do we think it was closed like there was no cuz she would have had to have a urethra vulva showed no vagina only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethal meus between the laia manora oh technically known as a blind vagina oh oh my God what if the doctor like so imagine like for her um there was this horrendous violent uh episode she probably comes to in the doctor she's 15 so we don't know how many other vaginas she's seen she she is finding out so much stuff she's like okay so you were stabbed um you're pregnant and you have blind vagina oh but she already knew about her blind vagina well that's what if she didn't know what a vagina was supposed to be like she only knew her vagina this article says the patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina oh speaking of blind vaginas yeah my glasses should be coming in any day now for my eyes oh and what did they say when you were in there like you have a drastically wrong prescription or moderate moderate actually he was like yeah you can wear them like whenever you don't have to wear them all the time I think he basically saying I moderate to severe psoriasis no mild to no issue oh my gosh I know blind mild to Blind hiop poops yeah hiop poops are designed smart the body's hiccup response when certain nerves in your mouth throat or abdomen are irritated your brain sends a signal to your diaphragm that tells it to contract this causes air to rush toward the back of your throat making that uncomfortable hick sound that comes leaping from your mouth the ingredients in hicup pops reset the hiccup reflex and return your breathing to normal all this happens in just a few seconds while you enjoy a delicious is this on the bag of hiop poops on their website yes a delicious what delicious genius lollipop uhhuh uhhuh uhhuh Band-Aid okay I've been reading so much sederis lately and he has this story I don't know if you've ever read it about like he has these ice breakers so like when he's traveling around domestically he asks people like what their annual rainfall is and then he has one where he says um you know what sound does chickens oh this is when he travels internationally he'll ask what sound a rooster makes and every language has its own interpretation of that sound anopia like you're write you're trying to write out the sound of the work yeah hiccup is probably a great one too as an icebreaker like I wonder hiup nationally how people have written out that sound oh interesting like in Germany I wonder what or Kom said say hiccup okay that was for my Spanish speaking audience we can ask Anna how they say oh in in Spanish what how would you say this oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a great idea I'm going to ask her okay real time ask stay tuned for next TBD okay oh my God the acronym for the show this is great wow T wi t h a t s f t g i t w wow the woman in the house at the what what is it the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window the woman in the house across the street from the girl in the window yeah so what's interesting you know when they send screeners like if we have a guest on and they have a show they'll send us like and the show's not out they'll send us a link right or they'll use these different apps well Netflix ingenious as they always are it's just it's on Netflix so like if you have the code you just get a four-digit thing you search it you hit play it just ask you for for so it's already on their server you don't have to go to a separate platform and sign into that whole [ __ ] so what's great though is that when you search it it brings it up in the full menu so I just type in woman and you get all these woman and to see that title card or the one sheet next to all the others is really laughable it's really really just visually hysterical there's way too many [ __ ] words oh my God that is so funny um look she's not even here now and I'm going to tell you it's [ __ ] outstanding no I believe it I believe it I'm excited to watch it okay who plays Grandpa on Yellowstone Lloyd his name is Lloyd yep yep yep and then he's played by fory J Smith fory J Smith and now Rob did you know any sub qu research cuz I got a hunch he's a real cowboy like when I saw that body like there's no explanation to that body other than that [ __ ] is lift hay bales for decades he's a skilled Horseman who works as a stunt man there we go stunt man that makes sense I wonder if the Castro knows him and if so I wonder if I can hook up with his trainer because the thing the gains he's making are impossible oh we haven't talked about gains in a while yeah two times gains fory is such an interesting name mm and I saw day the most popular baby names of 2021 Oh I thought that was interesting and what were they top boy name is Arlo Arlo a top girl okay speaking of gains Perfect 10 Charlie perfect T Erica Erica she's going to hate this and I almost texted it to her and I was like actually it's going to break her heart I can yes cuz I happen to know three people that named their son Atlas like I had three friends that named their kid Alice independently and and I made the mistake of telling one Nate yeah cuz we're besties yeah and I could tell like that was a mistake no one wants to hear that he was upset well and I was upset because Lincoln came out the movie Lincoln came out right after we named Lincoln Lincoln and I was like oh this is gonna lead to a rash of people naming their kids Lincoln you know what it's okay this didn't used to be an issue now everyone wants a unique name they don't want anyone else to have their name no one had that before like it used to be you threw the Bible up in the air wherever it landed you you found a name on one of the pages that was exposed and that was your child's name Joseph Peter Mary you know the the whole gang yeah just those three we did look at a the list when we were naming new baby yeah wa is there a name we have a name but we haven't told anyone tell us I don't like Secrets I don't think Natalie will like all right fine okay but anyway is smart all to say Erica really if if they are to have another child and if it is to be a girl she has a name that she is dying for she wants it really really bad and it's the number one name on the girl list what is it mave mave it's a great name is it a shortening of Mavis the Powerball winner who I hear from all the time on Instagram yes so ma is the Powerball winner has gotten so popular that people and and they learned her nickname was mave yeah and Maven too right that's a thing yeah but it this is just ma m AE v m AE ve I I can't throw any Stones I live in a glass [ __ ] house that's the thing I like I think it's a beautiful name oh no I like the name I mean the propulsion to have an original name for your kid which yeah I I do wonder if that's an American thing oh my God I'm so glad we're on this topic because I've been wanting to air this grievance forever when I took German and nth grade they gave us our German names oh I can't tell you how many fights I was in about this what is my German name was Axel that's great my name is Dax in Germany it doesn't matter if that there's no such thing as I have a different [ __ ] name in another language that's insane I still call um total wolf totto wolf he he's American his name is total wolf he doesn't come to America and speak English and change it to Tom you know but this is kind of like the hiccup thing anopia maybe maybe they read that and they pronounce that they get rid of the consonant maybe no no no no no she just made she took popular German names and assigned them to us indiscriminately or at least cuz mine had an ex she at least put the effort in to pair up an X but I literally had battles with fellow classmates that they're like no that's your name in German I'm like no it's not my German friend would introduce me as Dax not axel right Germany is deutan in German Germany wait am I just I might be just [ __ ] up my point you ruined your point [ __ ] I was coming so far yeah it's a different word yeah but that makes more sense cuz that's what the English labeled it on a map versus what the Germans call themselves that kind of makes sense okay and so your name is Axel in in Germany I don't think it is wow you you wowe wow hoisted my my own fard your own fart [ __ ] oh my God that's it thank you rob for taking those facts you're welcome you're that they were great my favorite one was to promote an optimal healing environment keep it covered says Band-Aid with a Band-Aid brand Band-Aid love you love you