Bradley Cooper | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert I'm Dak Shepard I'm joined by Monica Lily padman hi there how are you I'm good it's 10 days after Thanksgiving it's the day before Thanksgiving it's the day before Thanksgiving but it's not it's 4 days after Thanksgiving one of my best friends is on long overdue a lot of people have asked when this was going to happen and he finally had a movie to promote so he's here he's here America's sexiest man 2011 what was it1 2011 which we talk about it's so wonderful Bradley Cooper my God what a [ __ ] boss he's a goddamn Grammy winner I didn't even know that till I read this and we've been friends star of course yep yep yep my prediction is he's going to have an egot by the end of his life a yeah that's very possible cuz he did elephant man he could get a Tony he grab himself he can easily get himself a Tony and an yeah I mean he just has a guest star in some show that's popular and they'll give it to him they'll hand it to him or so it's sidetracked I mean I feel silly even reading his credits But A Star is Born The Hangover American Sniper Silver Linings Playbook American Hustle what a bad [ __ ] he's got a new movie out that we saw that is incredible called nightmare alley G Del Toro and if you're not a fan of his work watch it all he's so good it's he's incredible he makes real life fairy tales and they're so meticulous and wonderful so people should check out nightmare alley it is out December 17th now for the big news we're going to do a New Year's Eve live show our first ever New Year's Eve live show it's going to be fun I'm looking so forward to it because I don't care about New Year's Eve it's never for me because I'm a boring sober person yeah but I'm looking forward very much to arm chaired and dangerous live in Los Angeles December 31st at the wilt turn let me also add this is a mere 21 hours away from my or 26 hours away from my birthday as well yes so it's also birthday party it's a birthday show so if you want to bring me you know really tasteful presents I really like this designer Todd Schneider he everything he makes I seem to like the show's going to be not early but on the earlier end so like you can still go do a thing after if you'd like that's exactly right we're going to be kicking the party off at 8:00 p.m. yeah we're going to give you a big boner of a show and then you're going to go out and get [ __ ] up and hook up with co-workers and peers I hope yeah if you want to get tickets they go on sale this Friday December 3rd at 10:00 a.m. California time so go to our website for the ticket Link at armchairexpert pod.com that's armchairexpert pod.com to see us on New Year's Eve at the wilter in Los Angeles get your tickies they're going to go quickie enjoy Bradley Cooper [Music] [Laughter] can you see me you look so serious I was waving to you I didn't see oh man wow this is intense so that's a it's an actual armchair because I've never seen it I've only heard it you haven't been up in the attic yeah yeah I have but remember the now but just being on the show and seeing that you're in the actual armchair yeah it's like a gimmick and yet it's real yeah it's awesome how you doing sweetie good good thanks for doing this man really thank you for doing this oh my God it's a big deal for us big for the film yeah for me for the film yeah it's like a huge thing yeah oh come on now first off can we talk about the fact that you have the airpod Maxes which I just got how wonderful are those they're insane I mean truly I feel like they've changed my life like I'm now into listening to music everywhere I'm at wow do you wear these all the time okay so you'll love this and it pertains to you specifically so I had a full-fledged meltdown I don't know if I told you this but Monica is here to back it up in your apartment PTSD from those headphones you're going to really like this so the trip to your apartment got pretty hectic in the child care department and trying to go to those little cafes and stuff in Paris and just taking up too many tables and me getting really just you felt out of control I felt very out of control they're on the phone which I don't like whatever and look I was powerless I'm there to visit Kristen with two kids like I'm in that role and I can't leave and I think all these things combined I just had a full I went into your bedroom we stayed at Bradley's apartment and which you're so [ __ ] generous that you've let Kristen stay there a few times and myself so we're there and and I guess it was 300 p.m. I called it I called it Coupe I went to your bedroom and I laid in your bed in the fetal position and I listened to music for about eight hours straight literally kind of rocking in the fetal position and we were only there for 36 hours Let's be we were in Paris for 36 hours and 20 of them DX spent in your bad it was so thinking about such a specific experience thinking about where I could get ecstasy where I could go drink oh yeah I was going to drink I was going to disappear for maybe 3 weeks or I was going to lay in your bed and rock for eight hours which I chose to do and I got through it but those headphones were a huge part of it so you had the headphones on the whole time so you didn't hear anything else but what was going on in the head phones look I've since hopefully unpacked it a bit since we've gotten home and I have a fury and all this stuff but for the remainder of the trip every time I felt like I was passing into a Zone where I was going to start trying to escape I'd put those [ __ ] it could be in a cab we were in London huge fight going on every chaos pop those things on and just left you know it's interesting you say that because I used to walk around New York City all the time with these on and this is pre pandemic and I was on the subway 11:45 to pick Leah up downtown at Russian school and I got held up at knife point when the October before the March pandemic hit hold on how are we best friends and I'm just learning you I never told you that yeah I never yeah it was pretty insane but I realized I had gotten way way too comfortable in this city like my guard was down cuz of the headphones yeah well the head yeah yeah you know well that takes away one sensory guy post gone you know and then you wear sunglasses and a hat like cuz you're trying to be Incognito but no one knows you were anyway so it doesn't matter she just look like an idiot so I'm like that and I'm all the way at the end of the subway which I would just innately just go all the way down to the end right yeah and and I felt somebody coming up and I thought oh they want to take a photo or something and as I turn I'm literally like this I'm like up against the post like it's the French Connection or some [ __ ] and then I like turn and I look down and I see a knife Like a Knife probably that big a knife I'm going to say that's 4 and a half inches no maybe I'm exaggerating maybe like two and a half two and a half three inches like a pocket knife yes with a wooden handle I remember oh it's a nice knife like this is it's got some history that's that's a heirloom like of it was his father it's like what's that like Bait and Tackle place that when we were kids like was always like I was like I just want to live in that store what was that store like you know store M no it was not Patagonia but it was something else you remember that store anyway we had Bass Pro Shop in Michigan no this was called uh it's like two initials and then a name beam Bean yes yes so I look I look down I look down I see the knife I I look up now I have my headphones on the whole time so I can't hear anything I'm just listening to music so it's it's scored the whole thing is scored wow yeah can I ask what you do you remember what you were listening I can't remember remember I I wish it were like the heat soundtrack go ahead so I look up I see the person's eyes and I'm I'm like taken by how young they are and then I'm sure you were taught this you don't ever run from knife that you just try to kind of like stay there and I go like that knock lifted your and just start booking oh wow you just start running jumped over the uh not Carousel what is it called the like the Turn Turn Style jumped over the Turn Style hit around the white tiled uh foyer entrance to the subway took my phone out okay he jumped over running away up and I took a photo of him and then I chased him up the stairs he started running up Seventh Avenue I took two more photographs of him I ran down two police officers in SUV showed them the the photograph and I'm like talking to them and the guy kept saying it was so interesting he's like are you stabbed and I was like no no no he goes and he goes no no check to see if you're stabbed CU realizing like like what happens if people get stabbed and they're in shock oh my God and I looked to see if he was right it was crazy bro oh my god I didn't even know this yeah and then I got back on the subway and picked up my daughter like it was crazy so what was the point of that story oh headphones yeah headphones yeah not a good endorsement for these headphones well look let me just paint the picture if you get these headphones you'll [ __ ] ignore your family in an unhealthy Manner and then you can get yourself robbed at night Point these are great products Steve Jobs is smiling in his grave right now about these [ __ ] headphones but they do work the noise cancelling man they're amazing I'm you're in a different world you're completely oh my God and then the day after that we were looking at at this astrology Instagram account that starts like breaking down all your uh your sign and all of this and it said what did it say is like what you're going to pack on a trip yeah what you'll pack on a trip Capricorn dear old Dax and Cooper yeah we're going to get into oh oh my God oh my God yes so it was what would you pack on a trip noise cancelling headphones Capricorn literally we read that we read that the day after I had freaked out and and was hiding in my headphones it said what would you it was so ironic and and I had to just have a big laugh as the uh Kristen and Monica just were like Jesus Christ okay so great great Segway thank you Monica so I think people would be curious I would be curious why you and I are best buddies and how we met and I wonder what your memory is mine is Westwood yeah yeah for sure yeah and I was with Will and will Arnette was how he met no no he wasn't there he wasn't there but he was the connective tissue cuz we saw each other and he had been and we said oh will Arnette right because he had just finished recently finished Let's Go to Prison right yes and he spoke so kindly of you and you guys were Bros and vice versa yeah yeah so when we saw each other it was this explosion of like oh yeah will oh we're supposed to meet uh and then generally I think when someone thinks two people are going to be friends generally it goes the other way wouldn't you say like oh you're going to love this dude Kyle that's true well it doesn't go as as well as as explosive as ours did Will Arnette was like left in the dust I don't even like remember we felt deeply in love with each other period oh oh a couple love addicts like just it's on [ __ ] where are we go are we going to Europe for a month like what is next yes are we going to play like just a regular game of basketball in your backyard and then it gets real violent and and I think what was really fun for both of us is right away we we discovered that we were born 3 days apart I'm on the second you're on the fifth and then we got sober like a month apart and then buckle up we were both born deaf to me that was like let's seal the deal here yeah pretty crazy and again it could have gone wrong like these are my Lanes like this is my Lane yeah I think it's also like being in this business and finding somebody that you have such a connection with because it's sort of UNT I mean you and I are just from not at all like Hollywood's the farthest place ever from like how we grew up and so to meet a like-minded person in this Forest of unknown land you just want to grab on and hold on you were certainly my lifeline for years yes same same there's this like dance you're playing when you're newly in the business where it's like you kind of want to act like you've been there like you don't want to be the dude on set who's like just so enamored with everything that it makes everyone else feel awkward or something so for me I was like acting like I belonged at all these places but then when I met you I could be like oh my God you worked with Vince V like I could geek out and be a fan of Vince vau or I could go isn't this insane like I could it was like we were childhood friends or something like that we could together go like look at all this crazy [ __ ] we were allowed to expose our like kind of naive to one another or that's my assessment yeah I think for sure I mean just a feeling of comfort just like when I was with you everything felt okay in this crazy you know in Hollywood like to go out with you at night was like everything's going to be fine yes oh my God what fun what fun we had but were you sober when you met oh yeah oh yeah I think we were both maybe like a year and a half sober I was 2004 right we we got sober I got sober August 1st 2004 and you're was September 1st September 1st yeah we met like around 200 five or something I think right or six or six yeah 15 years and what I love about you is you're pretty humble so I meet you and you're like a great actor and you're handsome and you're athletic so and that's all I really know and then we start like I get a ping pong table you know I got some buddies over and you're like uh you should be on TV playing pingpong you're you're so far better than every one of us who's played pingpong and even some other guys who've played their whole life and you're just you're just assassinating guys in the living room at pingpong and then I found out oh oh yeah Cooper is like an ace pingpong player and then I find out you're like virtually a college level tennis player and that when you're doing these summer plays in the birkar or wherever you go your whole day is at the college playing tennis with other Collegiate athletes and I'm like this is such a bizarre Revelation and so fun and then I just for me the Apex I tell the story all the time like mildly new you new friend whatever that means like I imagine you could go shopping and stuff and then we we were together in in Paris and you said you want to come with me I got to do this like late night talk show appearance tonight and I was like oh yeah yeah I'll come with you to that and I'm watching you on stage of a comedy show it's very important that we understand this is a comedy show like a [ __ ] Conan O'Brien and Cooper Monica's up there he's like and then the [ __ ] audience is going ballistic and I'm like oh my God this dude speaks French to the level that he's cracking jokes do remember do you do you remember when we were like the guest stars for the New Year's Eve special do you remember they brought us out on that stage in France right am I crazy didn't they do that wait was I I think you ushered me out with you but I don't think anyone any clue your no no no no they brought us out we we they may not have known who we were but we like we were like the Final Act of this like New Year's Eve countdown special don't you remember that we walk out to the center of the stage it was so bizarre do you remember that so vaguely but yes I do remember you bringing me along I didn't know what it was but I was like come with me to this thing and just come with me on stage oh my God I'm in like Street remember then we walk in the middle of the stage there's like hundreds of people everybody was in tuxedos but us dude it was crazy I'm in winterwear for my last trip oh it's like these two Americans like on a on like a tour oh D that was so funny just hearing you say those things that are so nice to hear I think that's part of why maybe we had such a connection because I equally found so many of the things that you were good at just like mindblowing like how your ability to ride motorcycles it was from meeting Dax that I started ride motorcycles and uh all of your car knowledge is insane despite your scientific knowledge there's so many things about you that I was always like how does this guy have the all these things so I think when two people meet each other and sort of are enamored with certain aspects that's a blessing yeah and I think for both of us we're Romantics right like we're just really deeply I think we seen each other like we're both crafting this kind of fantasy life that we've cobbled together and and it's an interesting ride and I feel like we you and I have been always been able to talk about it cuz like you're you're bouncing in and out of like this fantasy world you endeavored upon some of it's really feels connected some feels disconnected and also I think to me you represented somebody who's so like manly in quotations and yet you're also so willing to speak about your feelings and your fears and your insecurities which I know like in today I'm sure it's why so many people love what you both do is just to have that of like self-reflective honesty is what we all want to be around so that was also something about you that I just like oh I could just like trust that like it's okay to share things with you that you're not going to judge it and even if you did Judge it i' judge it we would work through it because we'd be willing to talk about it and I also loved how for any listener who doesn't already know like you are one tough [ __ ] they know that is just they know okay okay cuz that was was I was like I was like you know I've been around some people up that were like you but like like there was just something cool about like wow I'm friends with like a really tough guy oh my lord well we were talking about that in Paris cuz you said that you guys almost got in a fight or oh yeah I was I was telling Monica we went out to this remember we went to a night club of course yeah I remember yeah I remember every time we almost got in this serious fight oh yeah there have been a couple of them there was like a big dude in a leather jacket right like a French dude and he was kind of like sniffing us out like oh I'll I'll kind of show these dudes whatever and you were telling that story and I was like okay I know you find yourself in these situations all the time but does Bradley is he the same is he also like ready to throw down oh my gosh no no the op no no well hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on that's it's not that easy I don't think it's not like so if I'm a seven on the Spectrum cp's a five cuz coup's big he's athletic he's competitive other dudes are they want to jockey against him oh he's a movie star they want to test him so I think I think people kind of flex on you I don't know I think I grew up learning how to dodge things like learning how to escape situations when you smell that they could occur and I think that has really served me it didn't serve me until I got sober I mean I definitely like the last year before I got sober my inability to smell that out was not great and then because I wasn't sober I was more than willing to enter into those situations just because I had so much self-loathing and wanted to be a man so desperately so what better way than to hurt somebody physically yeah but I grew up running away smelling something and running away sometimes I got hit but I was never a fighter no but you and I both have that spidey sense yes no question which is like I know danger coming yes that's right that's why bring it back to that Subway I had really gotten comfor able I mean jeez I mean that was all turned off I was just it was as in my couch like in a living room like in a like oh the place is empty this guy's one inch from me no problem exactly nothing to see here oh look at this he's proud of this knife he got from his father he showing it to me know I wonder how do you keep it sharp you have one of those stones or the thing you just do by your hand that went right into my ribs there that is that's a clean cut I kind of took a stab at some things that's really what it was you're dead right what really it was is the same thing I had with Aaron Weekley which is you are so happy to talk about your fears how you felt insecure how you felt less than and I love that and that's maybe from us both being in the program or whatever it was our ability to admit we were scared of where our career was going yeah that you and I met each other when we did at uh mid-30s what a sort of vulnerable time for for us and even for I think you know males in general that like 35 to Before 40 32 to 40 oh brother yeah sure sure we were just so riddled with insecurity and not having the Escape of drugs and alcohol yes so so like confronting so much I just can't even imagine going through those years without you yes and we had like teammate to go to these kind of Hollywood things together so we could go to like a party at someone's house and we were both sober and it again it reminded me of Aron and I growing up like oh I don't give a [ __ ] I'm with Cooper we're having the best I always felt that I remember going to Kate Hudson's Halloween party and I was magnet Pi do you remember that the way your your legs and ass looked in those shorts remember how jealous I was just the powerful haunches everyone at the party couldn't keep their eyes off your legs you had the short short quar Ops on and you look phenomenal I I don't know my Cavs are pretty non-existent no that big powerful ass thigh do I do have a big ass but I remember feeling well if I'm with Dax everything's fine yeah it's just you're one of those cool guys you just you've always been clearly right Monica I mean he's a cool guy oh don't make me say that but is true but it is it is true you're can't help it it's in your DNA you're just one of the cool ones and you are too no I'm not it's cute you don't think so that's what's so likable about you I I'm sure he's told you this but I can see it from the outside that you're one of the only people that I feel like Dax can hear like when you tell him something he really listens and takes it to heart and like I sometimes I'm like I said that I said that six times uhhuh it doesn't matter it has to come from someone who speaks the same language who he respects and there's like three of those people and you're one of them I may have told you this coup but when I first told Eric I relapsed we like talk it out and then I get home and I get a text from Eric that says I think you probably need to tell all this to Bradley because he'll tell you exactly the truth and I I don't know if I did or not and I I was like oh like even people in my life know I gotta eventually I'm going to have to tell you and you're going to have to tell me the the truth about the whole situation and he can hear it yeah I can hear it and it all started I talked about it when I interviewed Kate so I'm happy to say it now like really started when I was struggling in that relationship just feeling so less than all the time at like a career low and you taught me through that three months how to actually figure out what I was really responding to like I would think it was oh she did X Y and Z she's an [ __ ] and then you would always go wow she said X Y and Z to me I would feel emasculated or I would feel impotent and then I was like oh my God that is exactly how I feel and I'm embarrassed cuz I think at that time I was sober for three years I should have known how to do that from our program and I didn't I couldn't find the real fear and you so taught me to do that and I I literally couldn't have been married the last however many years without you teaching me that and as you know it's just oh so much easier to see it from the outside things are so much clearer I mean that's why um we need each other as human beings you know desperately I think some about you being so capable and handsome and athletic to hear you this is true you've said that so many times I know but it's so true I needed to hear from you that you're insecure that you that you're fearful that you like I felt unique I felt terminal uniqueness that I would feel this less than all the time at 63 I it felt embarrassing and I think because I look up to you so much and I appreciate you on so many levels there's just a huge freedom to hear you saying you're having all those things and of course it's normal to think well everybody else must feel great and we're the pieces of [ __ ] so to learn that oh wait a second being human is a really rough road no matter who you are that's a very comforting feeling yeah we're not alone I mean isn't that why I mean I was talking to my friend last weekend like I know it's like people make fun of like storytelling as like that's what one does but as I get older I'm like that's what I like to do right is storytellin know that sounds like whatever it sounds like but it's the truth it's like why do I work so hard at it and it's because like that need to explore the mysteries of human experience and wanting not to feel so alone and to heal each other I mean that that's just the truth and that's why it's like endlessly fascinating there is no end goal and I think that's also why you and I connected and why it's so wonderful to see you today it's like you know we thought thought we knew so much more than we do now when we were in our mid-30s and what would make us happy and what we needed to achieve to have fulfillment and we were just so wrong about so many things you know and to be older now and know like oh there is no end it's just the exploration that's it yeah do you think sitting in my kitchen talking about like what we're going to do me above all like my plan of I'm going to do this and I going to make this amount of money and then the next time I make this like just my whole mapping everything out and then for both have ended up in places that were actually Way Beyond maybe even what we were talking about oh my gosh yeah you and I both had kids like that's to me that's when all the planning in the kitchen we got a lot of those bells and whistles and it's totally fun there's great stories there's all this stuff but the meaning was I don't know for me like the kids had to come into the picture for me to have true purpose I believed in yeah I mean that children that's a game I mean that there's before and after yeah the same I mean for me I'm asking you for me I literally stopped planning in a way I stopped the fantasy of like where I was going I mean and and I think that you definitely had that more than I did that plan thing okay right yeah yeah yeah it's it's humiliating what I interviewed will too is he's just kind of like bust me on how much I was like okay so Sandler made 2.1 million off of this movie it made 49 million Without a Paddle made 58 million I'm like oh my god [Music] dude stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare so when we met you had just un failured a launch I had maybe just done employee of the month and then this unique situation happens that doesn't happen to most friends is Todd Phillip starts meeting people that might be in The Hangover and it's all of our friends you meet on it I meet on it Arnette meets on it I don't know probably baitman met on it and I don't know about you but and I think we talked about it I had this deep sense that that thing was going to be something incredible mostly because I just thought Todd was so [ __ ] brilliant so do you remember going through that process and I remember you were you were showing him tape from your were doing the FX show at that time you were doing nip talk yeah and he wanted to see you be kind of like I guess sexy or or something and that tape was in the mix well I remember meeting him at the chat Mormont and having lunch with him and and I had auditioned for him years ago to play the Vince vaugh role in the remake of stari and Hutch and I remember like I got to audition for him when I was in New York and I remember like thinking like well this is like the coolest guy in the world right just like him on the chair with the sungl he had those tinted glasses back then and he's got the best voice like ever speaking voice and then so yeah I remember just that chat to Mormont thing like I thought it went well and then we really connected on our love of film and Paul Thomas Anderson and then I remember like I got his email and he said I'm going to a screening and There Will Be Blood uh this weekend you want to come and so then we went there and I took kugman with us and I remember like the Q&A after with Daniel de Lewis and Paul Thomas Anderson and then and then that was it you and I talked about but I never heard from him again um and it was like six months later you know because they tried to put that movie together with a different cast and then Warner Brothers wouldn't approve the budget and then so that's why they wound up going with the three of us at a much lower budget but I was doing a play at Williamstown and I was gonna give up I thought that was it like it just wasn't happening and I got an email from Todd Phillips I remember in like August and he's like uh let's go I was like what that's how that went down like I thought it was over completely over and then out of nowhere I get this email from a month later I wonder how much of it you can compute and internalized like I wonder like what's your synopsis of the experience of like being in that movie it coming out and being the biggest orated comedy in the history in the wake of that like how are you Computing going from I think I might be done with this maybe I'll just act it in plays to holy [ __ ] I'm in a Phenom I mean that that definitely was a changing point where I felt like oh this is what Fame is like after that movie just cuz so many people had seen it and then all of a sudden the being recognized uh around the street it was like oh wow like I think I moved after that cuz I lived in Venice my door just opened right up to the street in Venice California and I remember at some point going like I think I have to move like to at least where like there's a driveway right where you got to walk more than six feet to my door I I matter of fact matter of fact I remember taking remember Charlotte mhm my dog Charlotte charlot Charlotte and like a container we were going to fly to New York so I was putting her in the trunk and there were like Paparazzi behind and I remember thinking a [ __ ] these pants they're so low my ass is going to be hanging out and I like bending down and then I was right like I went online after and literally like a shot of my ass crack oh my God Monica you got to do some D got yeah I got to do some digging and I remember I was like I got to move oh oh wow not only is it immediately you're incredibly famous you're also this heartthrob after that you're like the dick in Wedding Crashers to this heartthrob that everyone is obsessed with and that has got to feel so bizarre well especially if you don't feel like a heart throb I don't think I ever ever let that in ever really yeah yeah so I would say even still and do you think something will happen if you do that I mean at this point not I'm going to be 47 and I think that that ship has sailed in terms of like the real but that's interesting you say that like what what is the fear of accepting that that maybe people think that way is the fear that I would be like grandiose and like be an [ __ ] or is that all I am as a kid I was like this beautiful cherub of a child like and people thought I was a girl till I was like 8 years old and I remember feeling like a doll like really like people you know just automatically just like pick me up and stuff and like and it really affected me as a kid big Gloria kept your hair real long too right she sure did yeah yeah I remember being Murray's Bagels with like my buddy and they're like what would you like ma'am and I was just like no I have a jean jacket on with with with pins isn't that manly but I also have to say like I definitely had facts to back up my rejection of that notion I think knows a story like one of the things I like early that I like feedback gotten on this movie was like he's not [ __ ] and I was like holy [ __ ] like that was a rough thing to hear you know I wasn't cast as like the hot guy and stuff you know what I mean like I was like the sidekick on Alias and like the [ __ ] and Wedding Crashers that was not my experience of roles I went up for necessarily although I did play Jake the downtown smoker for sex to say was like the first job I ever did oh wow but I remember thinking that like oh it's just cuz my hair is long so I really didn't I remember when it's 2011 right when they were like sexiest man live thing and I remember when my publicist who are still dear friend it was like Hey you know this thing and I was like I was on the set of silver Lin's Playbook and I was like that was like wait what like I thought it was a joke I think I thought it was D did I I think you were I thought you were pranking me CU I always had this fear that D Punk Reunion yeah yeah yeah yeah and then I thought oh my mom's going to be so happy M but the fear I thought was like this is not going to be good everybody's going be like what and the truth is that is what happened like oh no no watch watch watch watch watch when they announced it I'm not cuz back then like they would do it on the Today Show and they'd have like the person's cut out yeah yeah yeah yeah when they announced this just I mean I we could always go back and look at the moment I guess on YouTube but my memory of it I think I'm probably right it's like and boom and she's like oh oh it's Bradley Cooper literally like that I don't know bro bro bro I I am not kidding and I went oh [ __ ] my fears are right and then people protested that Ryan Gosling should get it there was a protest oh my God no no no there was a protest and I thought oh no see but that but that is like that all happened that's not I didn't make that up like that was for real I believe that that happened I believe that that one woman that one woman and I do believe those deranged fans of of goling yeah I believe all that but that's 2% yeah that might be 2% it felt like a lot I would imagine if you had that point of view of yourself at that point that you're kind of in no man's land you're in the part of the tennis court you're going to get blasted because you're simultaneous to that going on like let's say Between Two Ferns in galanakis is regularly making fun of you cuz you're so good-look so it's like on one hand you're like I'm too good-look to be accepted by The Comedians and embraced and yet I mean c sex been a year and they're rioting over it so it's like what is it but both sides feel like it's a downside well I I never felt not accepted in like the comedic world that I never felt I mean I was able to be in like wet Hot American Summer and then Wedding Crashers and I never felt that like I wasn't able to be accepted in that group I used the wrong word but I mean like you're being called out for being gorgeous as a comedian oh when Zach would do it I just was like it made a bit worse well I just thought that was part of a bit so play along but you're a gorgeous comedian the bottom line of everything we're talking about is like real self-esteem and whether I'm looking for it aesthetically or any outside way then I'm in trouble and that's part of the journey and yet did I feel like it was high school all over again when I moved out here to Los Angeles out there I guess since I live in New York now but I thought I'd conquered so many things fears and then I'm find myself in Los Angeles Angeles on a TV show and I'm like right back to high school not being able to get in clubs and like people not looking at you and like feeling invisible and not good enough and like wow I haven't learned anything I'm still looking for outside gratification to give myself self-esteem and that's the only thing I'd say that is like our industry highlights because there is so much instant gratification then you feel those highs and lows inside your body and brain it really for forces us I think to work on ourselves in a way so that we really develop a real sense of self-esteem that isn't predicated upon those things which are meaningless anyway it has really nothing to do with the reality of oneself I actually am now thinking like your experience on Alias actually might be the most helpful thing someone could hear about your story can you tell us yeah graduated grad school was like $775,000 in debt and then um working in New York and then met JJ Abrams in New York who was just a bolt of magical energy and all of a sudden like he wants me to be in his show I was like on Cloud9 and so I move out to to La shoot this pilot Jennifer Garner is the most luminous person I'd ever met and she was like met me with like a box of cookies that she had just baked and and all of a sudden I have this community right away Victor Garber Ron riffkin Michael Varan who I thought was like the most beautiful charismatic best tennis player guitar player like that guy had everything and then he likes me like he's nice to me and every Mar dun and all these people and I love film and that JJ and kenel and they were open for me to like be in the editing room and I would get everybody's dailies and like it was just like heaven although I found myself like relegated to like two days a week working and I'm like living in the bottom floor of This Woman's house up in Fairfax and you know it's a car culture and I don't I'm like paying this guy like a weekly thing for his golf Volkswagen and and I'm just and I start picking up golf at the public Malibu course like crazy stuff yeah I'm not doing anything so I'm just like watching daes and like sitting in the editing room and then like playing golf at 6:15 in the morning with this guy who like runs an eyewear thing in this other guy I got to know and like I watched like my my role just get diminished and more diminished and that was the birth of comments there was like this thing called Television Without Pity and back then there was a dialup modem so when you would wait to read a comment you'd have to like wait for it to load and I remember and I and I reading comments and they were saying your largest fears like he's dirty he's F ugly like how do the producers like and I was like holy [ __ ] like I went on there going like this is amazing I on a TV it's like oh [ __ ] and I like kind of I became addicted to reading it and and the thing that I remember most that was the most depressing was like the time between pushing the link to when it would load was like 2 minutes that was worse than the reading of the comment the waiting the willingness to like like just kill time to hear bad [ __ ] about yourself to hear bad [ __ ] which is a narcissistic self-loathing Endeavor well you're confirming your worst story about yourself right I'm a terrible piece of [ __ ] ex that's right so if you if you have that inclination anyway it's like putting a nuclear weapon on that thing and but then I would like share it with certain people and they're like oh don't worry that's one person in their basement and d d d and then the New York Times did an article where they talked about the impact of message boards on writers rooms in television shows and they cited will tippen the character I played so I'm like I'm like no no I'm right like I suck and it was just went from there it just got worse and after the second season I went to JJ and I was like you got to write me off the show like I'm losing my mind and he he said okay it was dark man and also at that time the show was exploding so like and Jennifer Garner like was shot out of a cannon and Michael Varan was like sh out of a cannon and I was just sort of sitting here you know watching this and not even being a part of the creative process and just feeling like everything that I dreamt of as a kid of Storytelling was like not going to happen but luckily I had enough Inner Strength like I got to leave the situation and so many of my friends are like are you crazy like this will never get this good you're a series regular on a TV show like and friends who cared about me I remember my friend who I lived in Venice at the time and uh my friend and his wife they're like don't do it stay on you're so lucky you don't know and I was like I don't think I'll survive and then I quit severed my achilles tendon like two weeks later on a basketball court and I'm out for like six months a year of recovery and then I got sober like uh six months after that and then just like slowly started putting my life together wow oh man that's such a complicated story cuz you were right but also don't you think like if you have a theory you will always find the data to support it so it's like oh no question yeah cuz like I believe you that in the New York Times They cited that but I also believe that if I went searching for Bradley Cooper's a standout on this show I probably would have found those articles it would have been harder but yeah you could have you a little deeper I love that story it's it's so like human yeah I've done it I've done every version of that here's the other thing if you're in this business long enough you ride the highs and lows and you and I have been there with each other for both of those that's also why we're I think have have such a I mean I mean I think it's pretty clear we're in it for life I mean we've been through so much together and we've had really hard times together and periods where we didn't talk and like horrible fights that's a relationship yeah I don't know that I fully comprehend all of it but I think what was was really interesting is when we met we were very much peers and then you went on this incredible ride after the hangover and you were gone a lot as you would be like you were on movie after movie after movie pretty much after that and I imagine as we didn't see each other as much I assume I chalked a lot of that up to you're busy but then probably my fear is like well he doesn't need me anymore so not true but yeah I understand and then I hopped on a different path earlier than you like I hopped on the I want kids p a little earlier than you and I don't know from my perspective I think once you had a kid the better part of my nature was like there's no way I'm missing this I've got to get reconnected to coup like I want to be a part of you having a child and us having children and us getting to talk about that experience and I feel like that's where my renewed dedication to like oh I got to figure out whatever was going on yeah but we had another weird moment once you got offered the lead role in this movie Chris and I did went in Rome and I remember I I talked you out of it or I was attempting to really talk you out of it of accepting it and I remember the conversation we had and I said dude I just want to remind you you want to be in Michael Man movies like that's where you want to go you want to be in Michael Man movies this is not in root to a Michael Man movie this is probably a a diversion from the route to a Michael Man movie and I think at that time I think you were suspicious I was trying to [ __ ] with you or that maybe I was trying to I didn't want you to have that role cuz I didn't want you to be the lead in the movie with my girlfriend which I can say from this vantage point that really wasn't ever on my mind it was literally like I know what you want to do you went to [ __ ] the actor Studio I know what you want to do it's not this movie what do you think of that I don't remember that yeah oh okay that's great that to me means it didn't mean [ __ ] to you I don't know I guess that's the moment I maybe filed into like oh I don't think he trusts me right now I mean if I were to think about our wayward path since we met there's so much intensity and yet we're both so driven and we have such differing like Ambitions artistically and life and what we' like to do recreationally quite honestly yeah but yet we willed to like spend as much time as we could together and I think deeply maybe there was just a frustration of like wait why aren't we like neighbors and like doing this together and like trying to like force it to be instead of like well life is taking this path right now for both of us that's the way it is and it'll come back and I think that's what the benefit of age has done for us in our friendship is that like you know I could bring Lee over there you know six months ago whenever it was and we sit outside and you know it's just the greatest thing in the world yeah yeah yeah it's almost more rewarding to me that there was uh challenging times in the middle of it yeah it's also it's very addict D I mean it it these are two attic so like if if as you said it started as almost love addiction and I'm sure you guys spent all your time together and when you have highs like that there are lows yeah the way it goes yeah yeah I'm still an addict I think you are too I don't know if that ever goes away yeah but actually I mean the thing that I've learned as I've gotten older is like okay you're an addict but what's really going on yes one's an addict but what does that mean really what does that even mean I agree with you for like 10 years that was enough and then at some point I was like no there's way more to the story than that oh way way more but in that mix we still had I came to see you in Thailand when you were doing hangover too and Afghanistan gez Louise how about that yes I think it's one of those major things where like you grow up in Philadelphia and here's my bandwidth of you and then you go to Europe for the first time at 18 it's like whoa whoa Europe like I this exists and then it's like you fall in love and then this yes and like Afghanistan was one those like you're sort of forever changed cuz you have all this actual knowledge of what this thing theoretically is I mean the biggest takeaway is just how young they all are man that's the thing I kept thinking like oh my gosh like these are kids it's so true and then you think about like where my head was at at 19 like oh my God I can't imagine oh my gosh yeah okay we got to talk really quick about so in my overall story of this interview which is I love to say about you I've told you this that if I ever looked up in the sky and F-16 flew by and someone was like oh yeah that's Bradley he's playing a pilot in his next movie I'd be like yeah not shocked I knew he could fly in F-16 so the endless skill set that gets uh unveiled from you is so fun being your friend and someone who loves you and is excited so when you did Star is Born I had directed two things small things and then I got to watch you like Endeavor upon that and then I was lucky to be a part of two of them yeah yeah yeah yes you are one of my favorite thing Dave Kenner outside the Judo thing in the my this thing with the hand lights our [ __ ] dude that thing that thing with his wrist the best oh man those were such pure times weren't they were just in a field with [ __ ] dragon that yes the guy with the dog oh yes that was the Limitless wig that we used and then refashioned headlocks for and run yeah yeah let me say publicly how [ __ ] kind that was for you to be in my movie at that point when you were already a huge star it just helped everything it made everything happen I just need to acknowledge that and I've also told this story on here before I've only had this directing a couple times in my life but one of them was watching you is it was past the the dragging the guy around the back but it's when you're talking to him it's getting kind of real and then at the end you tell them that those tank tops aren't cool even ironically anymore I didn't yell cut cuz I got I [ __ ] was all of a sudden I was watching a movie it's one of the only times I've been directing where I literally forgot I was directing I just got sucked into what you were doing in your closeup and I was just watching this movie that I [ __ ] loved and I totally forgot to yell cut I was just like I can't wait to see where this movie goes to I love that film so awesome I love that all that stuff with you and Kristen the bed under the covers that's so great gosh how about the fact that we were embroiled in a FBI Scandal afterwards I think that's hysterical yes I remember kept getting like emails every six months like you're GNA have to talk to this guy like what okay so in a nutshell we had a pitbull in this scene so we had to hire an animal Wrangler that brings the pitbull that can do everything the Pitbull needs to do well this guy also had a tiger in the car I don't know anything about [ __ ] exotic animals I don't know what's legal and not legal we're in a parking lot of a shitty grocery store in the deep valley and before you know it this guy's got his tiger out of the car he ask you if you want to hold the tiger you're polite you sure I'll hold the tiger now he takes a picture that ends up in a [ __ ] tabloid the guy sells it so we're already like months later we're like oh that guy was kind of a dirt bag but even better I don't know where your call came in I was on set of Parenthood I'm in my trailer phone rings unknown number like hey this is Agent Mike so and so from the FBI crazy what I mean you never think you're going to get a call from the FBI and he's like do you know Mike switch Notch and I'm like you hired Mark Schnitz I don't even know the person's name like basically implying I somehow I'm a part of this exotic cat [ __ ] ring and they come to find out they've contacted you as well yeah it was nuts you're having the time of your life you're probably at that point starring an American Hustle or something and you're getting a call from an FBI cuz you were nice enough to do a week on my movie and now you're part of a [ __ ] exotic animal trade investigation but you teaching me how to do donuts with that Cadillac Station Wagon oh my gosh that was nuts yeah everyone got to just go wild on that movie Wild would never happen again anywh who stars born you're going to have to sit through this I apologize didn't know you sang and I think first the song comes out before the movie right it the song's out it was the trailer that it was like oh my God yeah because the song was in the trailer yeah that was the trer I saw the trailer and I was like oh [ __ ] oh oh my God the song the [ __ ] you're getting out of the car you're walking away from her you look back at her and I I was like my groin caught on fire I was like oh my God it has every [ __ ] thing obsessed with the song singing in the car with my daughters go see the movie it's [ __ ] astronomically great as was proven by every [ __ ] review and what it did commercially and I was just like my goodness man what a [ __ ] Journey from meeting at in an alley in Westwood at a premiere of a movie neither of us were in to making this movie I was just so excited I just was so [ __ ] pumped with how awesome that turned out in every way the way it was shot the way it was acted the story the music all of it just incredible dude I was so happy me a lot what you think of stuff to me that means a lot like I can't wait to watch the next movie you make I am excited for it wait is that happening yeah I actually came to dax's what was it like three months ago I can't remember show you the little proof of concept yes awesome and this is where you and I differ and I just got to applaud you like your willingness to do homework is outstanding cuz even when you before guys went away to film stars born you had shot all this stuff you had like two full shoot days you had a location you were trying cameras you showed me in your office the stuff you had shot and then from where that started to where the movie you made ended up is astronomical and it's you're like due diligence it's so it's impressive dude you're a hard worker who will do the tedious [ __ ] will do the homework and we'll just work at it work at it work at it that is true yeah I do and that's what getting back to what we had said earlier like where does that come from I can procrastinate like the best of them it's like but certain things like this kind of work I'll just endlessly do it until it gets better and better and better and I just like where does that come from because you're right it's a lot of work yeah I've been writing this uh Maestro this movie for three and a half years with Josh singer and I put it together this like 22 minute proof of concept where I was like is conducting do I look like an SNL sketch or is it real and the makeup test and Carrie Mulligan test and like and we don't start shooting till the end of May but yeah I I don't know how to do it any other way I think that started with the American Sniper like I actually had time to prep it's was like oh if you actually if you have time to prep like it's a whole other deal like you can really get a a hold of something in a different way I'm glad you just brought that up because I just want to throw out there that was the first time I saw you in something where I was like okay don't know the guy in this movie right and and like in an awesome way cuz cuz Silver Linings which of course is you're [ __ ] brilliant and it's such a great movie maybe it's my favorite movie you've ever been in maybe I don't know but that's close to the vest for you I think if you not in a program not in therapy like that's potentially you I watched that and I was like oh that would be Cooper without any of the [ __ ] help I always remember I always remember my mother being at the bottom of the stairs like in the in the they had a little video Village like in the house and I come down from the thing and she's like just look like you're not acting you're really close with your Mom it sounds like she's come up a couple times uh absolutely yeah another thing you connect on Gloria is always in the mix yeah she's doing well too not just turned 81 two weeks ago wow oh baby yeah great living in Philly still driving around it's amazing oh I love her I love her yeah yeah I've probably spent more time with your mom than anyone else's mom maybe and I just adore her yeah she has the same thing my mom has when she just thinks we are the just the God's Gift of this planet and it's this double-edged sword for me it's like it's certainly why I've attempted everything and it's also why I almost feel like I'm will always feel like a failure on some level yes a lot to unpack there that's for sure okay so Monica and I let's talk about what's going on right now which is Monica and I saw nightmare alley yesterday wait real quick I just got to interrupt so I'm so glad you said Monica because like I don't know how long have we' been talking like 45 47 minutes ago I said you know and then Monica then you were like I told Erica I wasn't sober and I went holy [ __ ] Eric Eric so I and I've been so so like deep in the back of my mind I'm like I'm like just let this go let this go that you're so rude wait wait wait wait oh my God you I called Monica Erica or did you think you no that I that I've been wrong about her name for the last four years oh and then I just said it on set of your work okay something magical and then I started going oh W you're not even talking to her but I'm so scared to say Monica so I'm like well I just can't talk to her the rest of the thing because I can't say Monica what do you think this is aw I'm like I can't say mon so I'll take the hit for not having talked to her than to actually be disrespectful that I'm saying the wrong name wow coup and we just literally we just like got to the core of who you are it just happened that is textbook Cooper it's like some little thing happened and now good 60% of his brain is like working through every mination of this how can I that's got to be your name I have her text I have her name on a text then I'm like how can I like search through the text cuz I'm zooming on my phone so I can't do that they'll see oh no oh my God half of this this whole interview has been you and your head about my name yeah I said Eric a long time ago dude long long time ago no I did let it go though I was like I can't ask her opinion about something oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh that's great thank you I feel so much isn't that great that is the best the ride you've been on in your subconscious for the last 20 minutes well I blew that I [ __ ] that whole thing up I was hoping I didn't get canceled in this interview and then in the meantime I went and [ __ ] disrespected Erica Erica I disrespected Erica Erica is g to hang my Erica who the [ __ ] is Monica where did I think of Monica from I gotta bring this up in therapy who is Monica oh man stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare okay Monica and I AKA Erica padman and I went and saw nightmare alley yesterday the number one movie nightmare alley reminds me of Is There Will Be Blood like there's some calling obviously there's some beacon on Daniel de Lewis that is like just calls you he's kind of a North star for you and I just think it's kind of really cool I don't know if you've thought about it or you give a [ __ ] but I think it's really cool that this movie nightmare alley to me is very much There Will Be Blood well I mean look Daniel de Lewis for me when in 1998 when I first got to New York for grad school I was in the French roast and who walks in but Daniel [ __ ] de Lewis and his wife which I didn't know at the time Rebecca Miller and they they sat I just watched him I like I was in shock shock I I was like how this is what New York City is like there's Daniel de Lewis drinking coffee and then I I mean this is this is slightly creepy I I would sit in that chair for years like I was in grad school for three years and I would order a cafe L French rast had these big cups and I remember how he ate he drank it with his both of his hands and he was like this when he was like talking and I would just sit there and like kind of pretend I was him yeah for like maybe 70 times yeah and I remember seeing like Gangs of New York his performance in Gangs of New York whenever that came out I don't know I just couldn't like it just sort of like changed my chemistry there is a tension to the movie part of it is parallel to Daniel Plan view which is like is this guy good or bad like you don't know that's right that's right that's such a fun zone to be living in especially for children of trauma where like your job is to identify who's a threat that's right so I think for a lot of people it it'll like engage all those Spidey senses in a really stimulating way is he good or is he bad and what a distinction he didn't know he didn't know I don't think he knows anything until that last scene nothing Cape lanchette character says she says what do I want he says what everybody wants to be found out uhhuh it was brutal bro I'm not gonna lie that was a hard movie well it's interesting because we can be the least fun people in the world to watch a movie with like Monica Chris and I anyone who's been in show business if you're watching watching a movie you just can't help but recognize like my god dude you were under a rain machine a lot like that was one of my thoughts it's like oh my God he was under a rain machine so [ __ ] much everyone was under a rain machine it it must have been so cold we were freezing in the theater wear a sweater when you see this movie cuz even if the room is not cold you will get cold which I I love about it like you're either in the rain or it's snowy out it's [ __ ] cold it's this weird mix of it's a fairy tale the whole thing is a huge fairy tale just got to say garmo man do you think you've been in a movie that looked prettier than this ever no no it's unreal absolutely not Dan Lon the cinematographer and guo and the camera the camera crew Everybody the costume designer everything is just on a on another level I mean and it all comes from his vision man every Circle half of the stuff in lili's office he bought on eBay it's incredible his daughter made all those tapes all the tapes that she has of all her patients his daughter wrote every single one of those oh my God you can look at any part of the composition there's going to be something to story there which is thrilling for me to be a part of that well but is it's so meticulous like my first fear would be like [ __ ] this guy has it all mapped out which means he probably has me mapped out and I would be afraid I'm not going to be able to give him that thing I didn't feel that only because we had met early we post the movie because I was living in New York and my daughter's school and all this stuff so we had time to prep and work on the script together and talk about what is the movie what is the story you want to tell and how can I Bradley help you tell it and what do I think that my strength could be for you and also what do I want to explore myself as as an actor but the truth is man like this movie told us what it wanted to be and also because we had that break because of the pandemic for 6 months and that wound up being beneficial in so many ways cuz we shot the second half of the movie first pretty much oh really and then the first half of the movie we shot later and so we were able to rework it and things that we needed and what we learned from shooting that second part first and I was able to like lose 15 lbs which you don't even really know but hopefully you feel like he's just much thinner and like more like from the earth in that beginning then when you find him in the Copa he's like a little Chris Kylie you know what I mean like he's pretty big he was very collaborative we'll be friends for life cuz we went through like a 10-year relationship in 3 years yeah like fully like all the ups and downs it was it was incredible and I have tremendous respect for him it was a movie that asks questions rather than gives answers that's the one thing I think that this movie does is just asking questions oh yeah like U Monica and I had left there like engaged in talking about it talk in in debate really quick so people know like we don't know where where you've come from you've left some house that's on fire and you kind of stumble into a carnival and then you find your way in this Carnival you start figuring out things you can do there and and he doesn't talk for like the first uh 15 minutes doesn't open his mouth Monica said I said is he a mute are we not going to hear anything from Radley this whole movie yeah what did I say I was he said no you pay for you pay you pay to hear him talk yeah said he's got to talk you come to Bradley talk there's no way we're getting out of this without talking it's it's a [ __ ] another incredible performance where I have forgotten that I've known you for 16 years while I'm watching it I don't know who this guy is I'm projecting and I'm not projecting Bradley stuff I'm projecting my own stuff right and my friend saw a couple weeks ago and she said such a an interesting thing she's like I'm watching it and I have this anxiety as the movie goes on because I realize like oh he's like two steps away from losing everything like he's literally two moves away and she said and I can relate to that and I thought I don't know I just thought that's really interesting it's true cuz he's just like a couple of moves and it's all gone yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well I live with that thought I like my life yeah yeah in today's world it's like a couple of moves and it's over oh yeah yeah yeah I have a joke that's not very popular today on set which is like if I ever wanted to just be done and retire just go grab the director's dick and go good night everybody I'm out it was nice I don't have to come up with any reason why I love Show Business just grab that dick for a minute then go peace they don't even send me a call sheet for the next day oh this is going to happen on set I got it yeah this is my exit and he's got those strong hands dcks so you know he's going to grab the [ __ ] out of thaty he'll have a story to tell for sure but I do want to go back you got to work with William defo I know this crazy I mean his first day was the day when CLM is telling him what it is to how do you get a geek how you get a guy to that was his first day and I just got to sit and watch this guy it was one of the best days ever just watching this guy and just trying to stay in it because I just like watching just watching this guy have idolized for years just is the real deal and crushing it and watching how he works and then just come to like love him as a person and you know every day he would come on set I was just so happy yeah and that was being in every just about every sing of the movie was like all of a sudden Rooney Mara comes in and then Tony Colette who's an incredible actor I mean Tony Colette is just like ridic and Kate blanch I mean everybody would just and David Stan bro I mean it was a joke oh man I mean Richard Jenkins dude I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it well that's the thing I wanted to geek out between you and I like if we were at my kitchen table like comprehending that Kate Blanchett like you get to work it's nett here playing a supporting role in this movie like this is this doesn't seem possible it's crazy so happy I think it's great that you still you're still enamored by that though because you've been in scenes with everyone so that the fact that you're still like oh my God I we get to do it this person and this person that's cool oh I feel it like enormously yeah I don't think that'll ever go away well what's very lovely and endearing about you is that you're a legit Fanboy for acting oh yeah and movies yeah yeah it's like you're also a master in it and yet you're just a [ __ ] Fanboy and it never escapes youever lovely yeah and again I think that's why like the endless amount of coal in the fire to work at it you know if you love what you do then it's like in the editing room you'd look at the clock and 16 hours went by anything you love time changes happens here all the time totally agree oh here's a weird question I'd probably never ask you in life what I'm going to ask you on the show and this isn't number one so you're not declaring number one but I want to hear three actors immediately you think of that you've worked with now cuz there's been so many incredible ones where you were like oh that was pretty Transcendent or that was that was a ride I mean definitely Robert dairo yeah yeah yeah I've only had this a couple times in my life where I feel like someone sucked me into their their bubble oh that's right and then I just was unaware of everything that happened after that I mean first it was overcoming who he is right having to work at that but then he's so real and talking to you that he doesn't allow you to even work on letting go to the fact that he's Robert dairo because he's talking and you got to answer him it's almost like it's like a sport right like true acting is like you're on a playing field and like you can't think because you're reacting because the person's like hey man yeah yeah I did this movie Limitless right of course and that was amazing it was incredible but then like to do silver Lightning's Playbook right after my dad died and calling him dad and him being such a huge part of our family growing up as italian-americans in Philadelphia and then for him to be such a dear friend today here's the other thing is like and as you know no matter who you are you can suck on any given day period sure it's like you start at zero that's the beautiful thing about our profession it's like no matter what maybe you have 30 seconds of audience like approval that just Goodwill but after 30 seconds if you suck like you're [ __ ] right like it's like it's like okay well yeah you were great in that other thing but this is horrible and I'm out that's awesome that's just sort of like equalizing Factor the biggest lesson was watching Vince vaugh on Wedding Crashers and watching his willingness to fail I was blown away just his willingness to go I never seen anybody go for it like that ever before like Risk failing yeah yeah yeah why wouldn't you this is the place to do it yeah and so uh yeah Bob for sure Christian baalan an American hustle I remember like before I was so excited and terrified to work with him not really knowing like what it would be like and he was so loose and present and I was just like holy [ __ ] that was one of the best experiences acting with him that was one of those moments where I was like outside of myself watching the movie you know like you were saying like this movie is this movie is [ __ ] awesome yeah I can't look at this movie I'm in it's almost yeah yeah yeah it's like you're on the court while Jordan's like hitting some crazy yes exactly wait I'm on this team I'm actually playing [ __ ] okay but you know what Rooney Mara man her level of believability is nuts like she would like i' be in scenes with her and just like whoa she's incredible you're getting excited about acting all of a sudden like I'm getting excited well you're a great actor man you might have to get your Crow removed oh God that was your declaration I know I declared I'm done acting with this Crow tattoo can you see that well wow wow when did you get that this morning come on no I got it a week ago though I got it a week ago Saturday oh it's beautiful man I like it I like where you put it oh thank you thank you I remember when you got the cherry blossoms that's right that's right that's right you were there for that this has a cherry in its beak yeah I want to say something that nobody knows about you you are an incredible designer there you go he'll love this yeah yeah my worth saying this is worth saying this is worth saying because people wouldn't know this yeah but your apartment in Paris was so gorgeous I could not get over it and then Dax was like yeah he did it himself there's this wonderful woman stien in Paris who uh uh is a designer who I worked with in Paris who who really helped me out with a lot of that stuff but I do love to do it yeah well your New York apartment is equally gorgeous probably better and you were really you did that you have an aesthetic my man I do love that a lot like a lot I spend a lot of time thinking about stuff like that yeah like space and like environment and like where things go that's for sure it's a great escape you know what I love about visiting you is you're a guy who the fireplace is always going that's right dude it is he was going to like 6: am this morning I love it I love it and in your apartment in New York the fact that you can do I did that while I was there I had like three different fires I felt like in your honor like you'd be M if I wasn't having a fire here and it's so [ __ ] Pleasant it was raining the windows were open we had a fire oh I've had this realization I'm the same I love design and space and at one point I was like looking around and figuring out what to put here and what to do this and then I realize like oh it's cuz I don't feel in control right now and my brain goes to this is a space I can control I think there is definitely an aspect to that I mean I I put myself to sleep by like thinking about about how to organize space yeah like often yeah yeah it's kind of crazy yeah I think there is a lot of Truth in that and then the flip side is environment not just knowing that like one's environment just for me dictates my emotional state in a huge way and like just creating an environment that you can dwell in that's feels safe and warm has just endless dividends yeah I agree I want you to tell one funny story if you will and then we're going to let you go this has been [ __ ] awesome will you please tell the story when you invited your cousin out to LA and you you took him to a Premiere so so we're at Westwood my cousin Colin who came to Afghanistan with us I love him what a [ __ ] good guy yeah Colin campound a wonderful guy my older cousin grew up with I was very excited like there's this Premiere I don't I think I'd been to the shaft Premiere in New York years ago I never even I mean somehow got into like the nose bleeds up there but I had been to many premieres and it was the Babel Premiere in Westwood and I was like bro it's in aatu and Brad Pitt's in it and cap L Chad and that's you know he did morrice peros this going to be awesome it's a Premiere he's yeah so we go there we get out of the car like the red carpet never been on a red carpet before and I we get out of the car and there's like and I never seen at that point like there must have been 600 people they set bleachers up for people who don't know like they'll set bleachers up literally looks like it like the mummer's Day parade is the only thing we connected to in Philadelphia it's like what the [ __ ] is going on right and you feel that excitement right there's like cameras and like there's a line of like cameras of people asking you could see that I was like holy [ __ ] and like I'm buzzing I get out of the car my my cousin's right next to me and then I hear that they're like Brad Brad and like this like like this core this like wave of like Brad and I'm like holy [ __ ] dude [ __ ] Alias man I turn and I like wedding crashes I guess I didn't know man wedding crashes really made a stamp and I turn like rais my hand literally rais my hand full up totally proud and as I'm doing that I realize Brad pits behind me and like this Monica Erica situation in those S seconds when I turned and raised my hand I thought Brad why are they saying Bradley that go oh my God I already have a nickname so I turn around I see bread pit I low I have to lower my hand which is like a good 5T I have to lower my hand and my cousin is on the floor of the red carpet looking the color red like the red laughing so hard like his hat falling off on the on the carpet in the fetal position he couldn't stop laughing and then I start we were laughing so hard for like literally about 10 minutes they like escort us off the red carpet that is so oh man I think I told that story the other day on the on the show you told it in the Matt Damon episode oh in the Matt Damon episode oh really what a great guy how about how about Matt Damon dude like we talk about the most unsung actor I think he is the [ __ ] greatest actor did you see last duel I just saw last duel this [ __ ] dude is so great it's and everything have you ever seen the informant that's my favorite performance of his no no I didn't see that you must see the informant um my I brought it up while he was on here and he had said that um Soderberg thinks that's his best movie I would agree Soderberg thinks that's his best directorial he said it's the only movie that he wouldn't want to change anything after the fact like he's at total peace with that movie and if you haven't seen it it's it's incred it's incredible you're right he I'm sure he has an ego everyone's got an ego but seemingly the most egist movie star of all time as far as what he picks he picks to play Bland a lot or quiet or dorky and he's such a kick-ass dude I mean he's a [ __ ] and think about the diversity of stuff the versatility it's crazy man can you see I don't think you can see that high up well let me the camera hold on let me it's really important it is pretty important can you see it oh my gosh come on he kissed her head C he kissed her head he's the love of my life he's the love of her life he kiss I had no idea so I just I just sort of nonconnected said that whole like Diet tribe about Matt Damon and lo and behold there's him behind you guys there is that's her number one in a way that I don't even know I figur that bicep was yours that's hilarious that's Matt Damon oh no oh no he came in with guns blazing guns blazing the kind you and I like so did he come in recently yeah maybe like five months ago or something so did you see the last duel he's incredible in it I haven't seen it yet I'm dying to watch it because he and Ben wrote it together right yeah yeah and Adam Driver man he's the real deal he's a phenomenal actor he's a phenomenal actor oh man but I did a movie with him we're both from Michigan he was in the military I'm like oh this guy and I are going to get along great just yeah but you know what getting back to Monica you were talking about like do I find myself in those situations the way Dax is here here's what I and you tell me I you know this is the truth I think like the reason also why he and I got along so well is I went right into the Beta position of our friendship early on I just I I was comfortable there I loved it and I think that Adam my instinct is that Adam Driver is like I am not going to Beta to this [ __ ] and you can't Alpha to Dax I'm just really grateful that you said it like that so straightforward because that is my thought too that most people beta Dax in and yeah and I don't and sometimes that gets us into some trouble and it gets me feeling very like no one else will step up look that's probably what was confusing about the period where you were and are so Alpha to me professionally right in art everything's always been clear to me that's always been the like in terms of my life is like there like in art things are like if you don't like me I don't know what to tell you like I know what I think it's like you know it's so clear yeah and then but in personal relationships and intimacy and that's I'm like I'm at C or was at C with male relationships and then that changed a long time ago but when we first met I would idealize men oh for sure and look for father figures and mythologize men and then they disappoint me because all I've done is projected onto you who I want you to be oh my God as you're talking I've just figured it out I think not consciously but I think subconsciously I was aware of that and then I think when you became an enormous movie star I thought I didn't have a role for you in your life oh [ __ ] oh dude I think that's probably yeah you guys are so cute that's pretty heavy man that's got to be it I'm like well I don't know yeah what I there's much better men to idolized than me and now you have access to all of them I guess my role is ended oh God that's so humiliating to recognize no it's beautiful it's the same thing that's the through line if you think you're not enough you'll find ways to You'll evidence if my story is I don't have a role anymore and I'm not of value to him anymore then all I'll do is find proof of that exactly yeah so like oh I guess Leo Coopers new me who like if he's on the scene what the [ __ ] am I offering I mean I worship Leo too like what am I gonna what am I gonna do I don't have a lane and I just wanna yeah I want to have a role I love you look how [ __ ] cute you are it's insane wow well how about this though if that was the role and then you outgrew that as you should then what is my role I'm going to focus on on that it's just a confidant we have each other we trust each other we're lucky that we have uh enough similar experiences to relate to each other in ways that we feel free enough to share without judgment and um we trust each other's heart and soul enough to be willing to walk down life together and that's a blessing yeah that's what we are for each other today I've said it 10 times on here but I just want to say it in front of you you know people know about the episode day seven and it's just it's solely because of you you're the sole reason I decided to be honest M and so I thank you for that and I also thank you for being the person I listen to so in this weird Alpha Beta whatever thing was established 16 years ago I definitely seek your counsel and I trust you and I believe you and I need you and I'll will need you again is my guess and I hope you'll need me and I hope I can be there yes what a beautiful thing what a beautiful thing I love you love you too well gang the movie is called nightmare alley it's [ __ ] awesome I got to say I've thought about it all day long did you think about it yeah yeah it's like it's stuck with me I'm so glad like the stuff that makes it maybe like offputting at the initial drop like you're going to be cold is a dark story like life and then you earned it like you earned this experience I went on that ride it was gut-wrenching I hated scene you choose wrong I was there I was cold I was miserable and like all day long I've been thinking about the movie since I woke up it's also is so beautiful every single shot we were saying we wish there were nfts so we could own we could own images of the movie it's so beautiful one in particular of Coupe remember I said you should get that nft it was like a back lit kind of gorgeous sunset sitch and I was like oh that still is incredible all right well I love you this has been so fun I'm so glad that we finally did this I want to do in person next time so we can like grab each other and maybe wrestle a little [Laughter] bit thank love you guys what's my name Monica Monica Erica pad so fun Take Care thank you all right bye and now my favorite part of the show The fact check with my soulmate Monica padman good morning good morning it's morning time Morgan time oh that's fun what to get out of bed and then within 10 minutes be here you slept in your motor home I slept in the motor home in the driveway I'm going to tell you that when you sent the text yeah you said hey is everyone here just coming to in the moho I got scared oh you did yes scar me oh F druggy mhm oh yeah like the Soho Hotel yeah well here's what happened because it was the holidays the girls get to sleep with christon sure so then I was like I could sleep in the bedroom next to it it's got a ooler that's nice I like to stay cool you love that no TV in there oh okay right yeah so then it was like well I guess then may we go downstairs to that bedroom it's got a TV sure and then I was like if I'm going downstairs like man did I sleep good in the motor home in the dunes it's just such a cave not only are you in the motor home but then you can slide the door shut for the bedroom so then you're in a box that's fun you're in a coffin yeah now some I underestimated was I was able to sleep till like 9 in the dunes in the moho uhhuh and so underestimated the traffic noise I heard this morning so I got was up at 7 I was like oh this didn't pan out cuz I can hear traffic Noise Okay but then I found my way back to sleep and then I woke up and it was virtually 10 well what's really funny is that I guess that goes to show how accustomed you are to the dunes because the dunes are so [ __ ] loud they're so loud the fact that the traffic here made you wake up but the Dune noise did not make you wake up is interesting it is a curious situation it's like the baby's womb you know that whole thing like that's why I like the moo the noises and stuff is kind of like the womb like it puts you to sleep yeah well I mean I think the real the real trick with the moho is when I'm in the dunes I have no worries like I don't have to get up I have to get up to ride right right you know I got to get up to have breakfast yeah so something about having nothing uh important the next day allows me to sleep just very deeply I told you I went one night without even going pee pee in the middle of the night out thece never happened to you it's been over a year since I got through a night without going we we like an Oldtimer I didn't go wee wee last night and I you never go wee we no I do in the middle of the night yeah you just as frequently a wake up to go Duty uh well that in the M sometimes that's rare that's but it does happen but isn't waking up to peee in the middle night also rare for you is I mean it depend I think my body just gets accustomed like if I if I do it one night then the next night it wants to do it again and then again yeah like last night you're habitual yeah yeah yeah I woke up and I was like I have to pee but I really don't want to get up so I just held it right went back to sleep there you go anyways it's a Al trick the motor home so I I wanted to see if I slept in it my driveway I'd have the same mental trick where it's like I got no worries other than this little box I'm in yeah spiraled pretty quick in my head within like two minutes oh really yeah I was like oh God where' it go that's not that seems red flaggy okay should I tell Kristen we have drug tests we should probably just do why not just do one yeah give it to me um yeah that's all the thought those are all the thoughts yeah I'll take it let's go I don't have have one cup of pee behind you I could pee in that one see if the uh pour that syrup out speaking of God we haven't talked about the Pea baby in a long time I know someone I sent it to you someone commented on a David fer episode of arm chaired and dangerous that they wanted the three of us to make a peab baby together that was such a nice compliment yeah yeah I hope David took it as such I just feel like a bad parent neglectful what is the state of that toilet over there been ripped has it been ripped out yet no it's still there oh my god with that peab baby's going on 3 years old the PE baby's going to be old by the time move in there I got to teas that PE baby to ride a bicycle yeah you really should because it can't be me no I'm not going to be teaching although a PE baby can't really get hurt because of its form cuz it's liquid so like hit a bush and giggle cuz the bush would pass through it and then it would reassemble on the other design so okay BTS behind the scenes beh BTC behind the curtain oh BTC oh BTC ding ding ding Bradley Terrence Cooper oh this is koopy uh oh my God yeah exactly BR bren's Trad grer uh we recorded with Bradley yesterday this was a very tight turnaround very quick turning so I only have facts from my brain oh you know what I mean like things I could remember that we needed to look up and really the only one was I wanted to pull up the video of the Today's Show when they announced his sexiest man alive oh that's a great idea cuz there's no way he's remembering that I mean correct I mean look I don't want to take away his feelings yeah I we're not saying he didn't feel that way or wasn't his interpretation of it exactly but I bet I would see it differently and then the irony that the guest we had on immediately after Bradley yesterday had a story about Bradley being the sexiest man alive and he did not think it was funny he thought it was very real and very appropriate he was not he was not saying it shouldn't have been him it should be Ryan Gosling he was like yeah it should be him and I'm scared that's right that's right what a sweetie what a specimen what a pie a sweetie pie what an S pie that was the only downside the motor home by the way was um not to keep bringing it back to the bus but I had these really high expectations of all the TV I was going to watch cuz I was going to be by myself yeah and I'm watching a couple shows by myself succession yeah as you know yep I'm behind yeah season two of The Great which I'm like can't wait to start yeah and I could not pull down the Wi-Fi signal out in the moho that I need it I don't know if something's going on with my Wi-Fi in the house but whatever it was I got out there with this whole plan I set up got the TV going hooked it up to you know couldn't do it so the whole point of you doing that was the lay bed and watch Telly yeah yeah but for some reason Netflix would work okay okay okay yeah Hulu was not working for me oh no yeah nor was HBO Go no HBO or I keep calling it that Max yeah HBO Max uh K's husband HBO Max well let me get into the the thing but when I selected something it just would never load I I just didn't have the power bummer yeah I don't know why I told you that but anyways One update you tell me stuff I know I tell you virtually everything I I wish I wish you told me everything everything like what what am I missing I don't know some stuff I'm sure okay so you should tell me more stuff and okay okay so more like historical stuff you think there's more stories I haven't yeah said I like knowing everything yeah do you think that's part of like wanting control like you'll feel safer if you have all the details course well I'll feel closer uh-huh yeah which is safer yeah yeah it's all the same it's all the same thing it's all the same great jumpsuit today it's a tie dye but it's it's not it's not sharp tie-dye it's cloudy tie dye it is it's from this brand called Upstate that I love that is a a female it's like a one woman show over there really yes oh man and I have a couple others of of hers um that are thicker but now they have this new lightweight line and I like it I want to see if you'll like this joke okay let's try it I don't know if you will but I got sent [ __ ] I wish I remember the name of it cuz it smells insane someone sent me a bag of coffee oh and it smells like there's chocolate in there and all I it smell you got to smell this package okay and then on the bottom it says 100% women owned awesome yeah and then I said and I showed Christen I said there's a hint of [ __ ] in every Cup oh oh my God oh my God when I make those jokes I'm expecting the worst and sometimes when they work I'm like really delighted I she liked it which I was relieved um I [ __ ] in every cup that was the like that was the tag commercial it was like just like a folders one like someone woke up they [ __ ] cold this morning and they got their coffee and then he just here's what it's like cuz I'm drinking coffee go hint a [ __ ] in every cup God oh God and it's like a really wholesome Grandpa like you trust it there's nothing even sexual about it it's just an observation and it's positive oh wow yeah that's funny you can really taste that hint can't you son he's like talk his son's visiting for the holidays wow okay yeah the sun's 45 so again everything's and uh the granddad's like it's great to have you home son you can really taste that [ __ ] can you oh God yeah that went too far it was bound to yeah yeah yeah I was trying to think of you have to cross the line to know let me see if I can come up with some with that that is kind of heartwarming and it could make the air okay so it's a father and son oh that's making the air okay ready you go MH taste that h a [ __ ] tastes delicious son it's great to have you home for the holidays yeah what do you think of that it's good it's like a throw away yeah I really try to throw it last time throw it again okay okay Bo you can taste that hint a [ __ ] son it's great to have you home for the holiday your mother and I have missed you so it's great to be sitting here drinking a warm cup of delicious coffee with you okay Dax thanks Dad C oh yeah yeah what happened um that was great that was a good ad lib but um you you forgot the tagline the tagline is the most important part what is what is it oh I'm sorry wait what what is it it's cuz you're dealing with an older actor old DE um it's what's the line oh what [ __ ] well at one point I said I can taste the [ __ ] but that went too far that went too far but he said there's a hint hint of [ __ ] in every cup yeah just like um what do they say with like notes [ __ ] notes like like a wine has um oh Cherry notes or something notes of [ __ ] you'd say yeah yeah yeah yeah you like notes of cherry tasting notes yeah a good flavor profile that's great okay great great we got it all right now just one last one I promise so this is the grandpa and the grandma and they've retired and they're sitting on the porch of their cabin in the in the West Virginia Mountains they're on a swing great even better they're on a swing overlooking their little Valley and he says um good coffee huh Ma yes I didn't think I'd like the hint of [ __ ] but it's delicious oh that's nice I I like the idea of including including a female voice yeah for a female on coffee yeah I was thinking that actually as a critique like there's too many men in this I know and I'm was probably being way too generic with the notion that men would want that hint but that's too limiting right yeah well um I guess that was that was fun a ding ding ding cuz acting directing son fetch me another cup of this delicious coffee can't stay away from those subtle hits and flavor profiles delish and wholesome and Hearty strong are you going to say it really taste that [ __ ] okay there we go there we go okay pre usual we have wasn't worth we've spent 17 minutes on a bit yeah yeah yeah sorry it's all right I can go into accept mode um yeah you were stabbing your teeth with yeah yeah was it cuz you were getting nervous with this commercial getting anxiety and I bit off my tongue yeah I looked over there and you were basically stabbing the front of your teeth and I heard wood Shard breaking I wonder how many I could go through in a day of these toothpicks can we do one with you now sure those toothpicks have just a hint of dick instead of cinnamon flavor I you know let's try it I don't know let's flip the scrip I don't want to I don't want to I don't think that's okay God oh yeah there's a hint of dick in there not bad it's not as good it's not hint of Dick everything has a hint of dick that's why it's not exciting yeah it's true it's not novel it's not novel or proprietary it's not proprietary mm oh my God all right let's move on let's move on let's move on what's the next order of business well the the point is that I I tried to find that video but I can't find it I think it's an Curry cuz it probably doesn't exist correct so I looked at so he was sexiest man alive in 2011 so then I looked at Today's Show Oh around the date that they announce it yeah and so Meredith Vieira was there through June 2011 you really did your homework here this isn't this is one of the deepest Dives I've seen in some time and then Ann Curry okay was there June 200 11 to June 2012 it's really weird though when you're about like he was telling the story I wonder if you had this thought he's like he has a story that you already know the the punchline is is they were shocked that he had been named but soon as he starts saying it's Matt L sitting there it's like now my mind is completely distracted that yes same same yeah and then also going like in some weird way cuz I I I want to be against this is like well it's not really relevant whatever he said yeah oh oh you know what I'm saying cuz like yeah he doesn't want to give it up to another sexy he's got a whole racket going on like it's so complicated to hear his opinion on anything yeah for sure I know I did took a little detour at my head that's right like Matt low so much has changed yeah he might he should have just maybe even said the male host and then the female host said what yeah although whoever this female host is I would bet it's Ann Curry I'm pretty sure I think based on my research okay I'm sure an Curry is super attracted to Cooper I could almost count on know well I will say this this would have made him uncomfortable but you know this about him I've told you this about him I'm friends with a lot of famous people and really good-looking some really good-look ones Ashton Kutcher so good-look yes a bunch of good-looking ones and my friends know that I am friends with these certain people I've never had people just solicit an evening with one of my friends like Cooper I've never witnessed it where friends I've had over the years will just be like hey you let him know if he ever needs a safe port in a storm give him my number for their vulva for sexual activity okay they don't they didn't do that like with other friends I've had that are gorgeous he has a magnetism that I don't think he understands but he has to know well I bet he tells himself what I tell myself which is like he can date the girls he likes but because of this other thing like because of his the way he talks or his Charisma but that's all that's true I mean he his face is beautiful but it's like you that's exactly what you're just saying you Ashton's face is is perfect Flawless yes but what you're saying this magnetism it it isn't his face it's this whole thing whole thing it's the um it might be possible that c doesn't see it like women see it yeah you know I don't know people are we're all crazy yeah you're frustrated cuz you think he's objectively great looking and you're not which is you're telling yourself the exact same thing and you think it's Preposterous when he does it but you don't think it's Preposterous when you do it but I don't have evidence cuz you've never gone out to pursue all that no it's like like you're saying with him everyone's just like give him my number or whatever like that's not happening for me if it were well everyone in my life is is reaching out to me to tell me they're attracted to you as you know but the only other person I get as many texts about for love interest is you you and Cooper you guys are tied hate to tell you I got mamore the other day hunting me down on Instagram tell me his tour manager wants to take I mean literally I I receive an incoming request for you weekly you guys keep my phone busy I think we're similar you and CP yeah yeah well one thing I can yeah what you're both master assimilators uhhuh I think he maybe has the ability to be what the other person wants uhhuh well like he said I mean he said like he's beta to you uhhuh and I'm sure that's something that's you know subconsciously he knows that's what you need that's where I disagree with you like you you had this moment of deep satisfaction when he had the same opinion of say the Adam Driver interaction as you would have maybe it came off like I was thinking about I don't know anything about the Adam Driver thing I right right but you had a generalized yeah I I believe that your easiest relationships are people who are beta to you but you know you and I well we've talked about this before we you and I like the term alpha beta for you means something a little different than it means to me so like will AR Net's very Alpha yeah and we were great friends but I have Lanes like I have the fist fighting Lane specifically and there's a subtext of that between men and so for Cooper I just think Cooper prioritized that aspect a lot that I physically what that was my lane and I'm not looking for beta I'm just who I am I know you know what I'm saying like I'm not I'm not I'm actually not trying to be Alpha doing anything I'm just like proceeding through life the way I am and then some people find comfort in that Eric Eric's like oh my God I love that I don't have to pick where to eat you always know what you want to do and so in some weird way that's a alpha Dynamic that I'm saying let's eat here yeah but a lot of it I think is like it's not as stat toy as maybe I don't think it's status okay I I do not think it's status but I'm just incredibly decisive I know exactly what I want to do all the time I want to do it and I have a bunch of different hobbies and I usually invite people to my hobbies and my Explorations right so I think that that is a dynamic that is you could call Alpha but like Kutcher's super Alpha and he was the alpha the whole time and still even when I worked on Punk or I worked on the ranch like he's the boss he's number one he's best looking he's all these things and that way he's Alpha but he too knows it's not going to be a fun fist fight so men just have this weird the fist fight thing is is is often present in the equation it more than it should be but it is but even that's not the case because there are alphas who aren't the toughest mhm so it's I just think it's really a complicated concept it is a complicated concept it's just my observation that yeah that your easiest relationships are ones in which you're the alpha I don't think you're choosing that I I'm not saying you're doing anything here I but I and when I approach Adam I'm not trying to Alpha him I'm literally going oh my god dude you're from [ __ ] cold water like no one's from cold water I happen to spend a ton of time there as a kid these are all like oh my God you know cold water none of that's happening yeah but I I'm not talking about that I'm not even honestly I'm not even talking about the relationship level of Ashen I mean I know you guys are close but I mean like your your people people uhhuh but Kristen's not beta to me and you're not beta to me so yeah I'm just a very Alpha person you're a very Alpha person Kristen's a very Alpha person don't you think the those relationships are not your easiest relationships oh they're not easiest no exactly that's what I'm saying yeah yeah I I think you also respect people who are also Alpha like I don't I don't think you're like uh like I can't have that okay good that's what I was fearful that you thought like I tried to myself with beta people no I don't think that at all I but I think that Dynamic presents itself a lot because you are very strong in Alpha and and people know that that's an easy that that makes the relationship nice and easy and you can have a nice little bow on top of it sure something we me and you don't have and something I don't think you and Kristen have yes yes yes yes and I would say me and her are probably the only ones who are who are not actively like you make all the decisions you do whatever yeah yeah and my mom yeah yeah she's a tough customer yeah uhhuh yeah so I don't know it's just all it's it's interesting yeah but I was going to say we're similar design design yeah yeah yeah yeah big time Big Time when he said that he like can put himself to sleep by like thinking I'm like God that's so me I just imagine like can I put this here and then buy roll playing with your furniture and your decoration yeah I don't I certainly don't do that you don't have a need from what I can tell a need for like spatial control no that's interesting cuz I think you you do need a lot of control but it doesn't present itself like that for you it's also like when I lived by myself at my house I had a lot of opinions on everything yeah and then when Kristen came in I was like this is a lane that's going to be just we're going to battle so much unless I get out of the way yeah and I largely have and it's gone better for me I mean I have the occasional like what the [ __ ] is this thing this is like so fashioned forward no function why is this here I I'll have those occasional thoughts but or even weirder you know my my triggers all from being 14 yeah or I'll see something I'm like everyone has that like I get bummed that this is like that's funny that we're we're in the [Music] in the middle of a trend yeah that we've succumbed to some Trend that'll piss me off certain like slogans on paintings will piss me off they like work hard or whatever I'm like yeah everyone's got to work hard post oh goodness oh my goodness yeah and my deep internal fear that I'd be caught trying to actually play the game and then I'd be doing it wrong yeah I mean that's the real fear is like if I participate the thing everyone's doing but I get it wrong and everyone else got it right I'd rather just not participate than I won't look stupid just reject it before it can reject you that's right yeah yeah I can I so deep I can do that like even like I like I told you I had a I had a pair of Z cabari maybe two and I never had Jordy well I did end up having jordis like in 11th grade some I got all A's or whatever yeah but I had Nik escapes which were really nice okay they were 100 bucks but they weren't Jordans okay and because I couldn't really keep up with Jordan game I was like I'm betting on these shoes no one has these and I'm wearing car heart overall to schoool yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so I'm afraid I can't get the other stuff exactly right yeah it's sweet this is fun this is more like a therapy session than a fact check that's we do but the episode was kind of a therapy session so yeah um yes there was a lot of longing gazes oh right that the listener W that the listener won't see um yeah I wonder if you can see the look like if you can feel the look on Cooper's face at any point cuz there's a couple times it was really sweet yeah he he did he was giving you a lot of special sweet looks yeah you guys have a special thing it's not do and you know what's crazy is I don't I did not put everything together until that interview what was always being suggested to me by the few people I would include in like the trials of being friends yeah I think many people thought it was about him ascending in popularity and that being hard for me yeah and which ironically is the case but it wasn't for the reason that I think people were suggesting like that you were jealous yes or that I couldn't handle being beta number two number two career-wise oh I see and that never felt right to me right I was just like I know that's the obvious thing and if I'm doing a four step that's you know and I have fear status it's all right there but I just in my heart did that wasn't it yeah but it was that I didn't think I had a role for him anymore it was a fear that like well if Leonardo's on the scene I don't have a role I'm like I was a stepping stone towards some other greatness and now I'm useless yeah but not like oh he thinks he's a hot shot or you know he thinks he's so big or none of that ever happened yeah but but definitely well I guess my time is done fears happened but it's never true my guess is for him you were safe you were in a box you were already there you were already his best friend he's not replacing you there's just this additional stuff happening but you feel replaced because I don't see him much yeah which is probably for other factors yeah and in his head I'm sure he's like wait but you where did you go because you were always supposed to be there you're permanent yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I hope you could hear that oh yeah it wasn't I felt I've felt that way for the last couple years since we reconnected over the kid stuff that's good yeah well I'm grateful you have them I'm grateful that there's there's people who you can hear uhuh and respect it's good there's a lot I got a good handful that's good yeah you're in that list thanks you Kristen Tom Hansen Cooper there's a lot of people I'm afraid [Laughter] of my mom I'll lay something out for my mom sometimes and she'll go yeah I can understand why you feel that way do you think it's possible blank and then after do you think it's possible the truth's [Laughter] coming yeah um Al righty well it's it's it's after Thanksgiving so I've done today will be my fourth day of gift guide oh wow I hope you guys been following oh my God you're really this is so weird we're like um we're living in the future you're like writing checks that your future self is going to have to cash that's right boxing myself in sometimes you got to sometimes you got to put yourself in a box you do your best work got to well I love you love you [Music]