Browse Transcripts

Category: Comedy

Our next guest is a member of congress who is doing everything he can to make c-span exciting have you all lost your minds donald trump opposes it because donald trump wants to be president because donald trump has 91 felony counts that he's facing and the only way that those go away and he is not held... Read more

Category: Comedy

Our next guest is yet another handsome man with the face of a greek god and skin like a baby dolphin is extremely animated new movie is called migration come on we got to get ready mac ready for what nothing just you know for our big super fun family migration what h bet you didn't see that coming are... Read more

Category: Comedy

Welcome to jimmy k live i am your guest host c nani thank you for coming this is my first time ever hosting a late night talk show never done it before i am so excited to be here what a super chill time to be doing a topical monologue on national television just sharing your personal opinions with millions... Read more

Category: Comedy

Our first guest tonight is a funny and talented comedian tickets for her alive and unwell tour are available at nikki glazer docomo welcome nikki [applause] glazer thank you so much for doing this you so good at this what never you the whole point to where i'm supposed to sit well as if there was anywhere... Read more

Category: Comedy

Is there pakistani porn mia khalifa mia khalifa she's not pakistani i bet do people you think yeah do you think people come up to her and go hey i thought you were great and butts and boobs four and she's like that wasn't me give me the plot of butts and boobs one and then i'll tell you how we got to... Read more

Category: Comedy

A few months ago i had the great honor of giving the commencement speech to cornell's graduating class of 2024 i did i don't know why they asked me i did not go to cornell past speakers have included presidents biden and clinton maya angelou and me the guy from hotb time machine 2o and while i gave... Read more

Category: Comedy

Our first guest tonight is a very talented man uh who joins an army of other very talented people including steve martin and martin short you can see season four of only murders in the building on hulu now please welcome kumel nan [applause] johnny wow wow very good to see you and i must say thank you... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

Okay greetings brothers and sisters i don't make videos here regularly anymore i used to make videos about hollywood celebrities dropping like flies here and then also things to do with sports and sometimes they they would crisscross because there was these athletes that would you know drop like flies... Read more

Category: People & Blogs

Everybody is looking for a good laugh and kevin hart never disappoints remember when kevin hart tried to give his kids the talk spoiler it went hilariously wrong or that time he wrestled a sumo wrestler let's just say size definitely matters and who could forget his epic roast of dwayne the rock johnson... Read more

Category: Comedy

I bought an eagle like just because i'm such a big football fan the philadelphia eagles are it's like everything to me so i bought an eagle it lives at my house i'm serious that's dude i got to i got if you google right now i know for a fact what are you talking about google it google it i don't want... Read more

Category: Music

You don't have peanut butter oh jy roll the last time he ate it stuck in his bell to rock and [music] roll last time he ate it oh how c [applause] every saw good buddies tiy and d that's why you don't like peanut butter oh jell [music] roll the last time he ate it stoke to his belly rock and roll Read more

Category: Entertainment

I was fired from this show uh a while ago but if you know don't look that up please welcome to watch mojo and today we're counting down our picks for the beefs conflicts and spats that the legendary nbc sketch show saturday night live is responsible for lauren i need to talk to you you can't let tina... Read more

Category: Sports

I had to call you because this miami hurricanes podcast we're playing your alma mo florida and the ratas y'all have beat the out of us before numerous times um i believe this is called uh what we call in the business a money game the money game where we get half a million dollars and then y'all get... Read more

Category: Comedy

One year [music] later one year later Read more

Category: Entertainment

♪ ♪ >> stephen: hey, welcome back, everybody. my first guest is an american you might know from his recent trip to paris. >> curry, over the double-team. oh! >> stephen: please welcome back to "the late show," four-time nba champion and now olympic gold medalist, steph curry! [cheers and applause] ♪... Read more

Category: Comedy

Justin i'm so sorry for pulling my support from you justin i love you i did it justin because my mps who are threatening to pull me down from a leadership position i can't do that next year justin when i lose elections and you lose elections after i get my full pension we can run away from canada from... Read more

Category: Sports

Um okay i wanted to talk about this this this is a couple of weeks maybe it's a week old or something the whole jack black kyle gast thing so they are both members of the tenacious d band and there was this video that went viral last week i'm going to play it there's a moment where uh jack black is... Read more

Category: Sports

The the tds has been bad for years uh even still um i think post the assassination attempt there's been quite a bit of media hypocrisy as far as like the left can be violent and have aggressive violent rhetoric like anyone from just random guy on the street to our our talking heads in news do you what... Read more

Category: Sports

Lauren i wanted to get your your thought do you think uh and alex jones has this theory as well do you think that the democrats are going to sweep in see i didn't think he was gonna biden was gonna endorse kamala when he when he said that he wasn't going to run again but do you think the democrats are... Read more

Category: Music

[music] there's a girl i find in my reflection she is smart and kind donate protection she's a war we are and she is waiting for you just around the b where every day you're a hero the lights of the dark you lead with your courage and dream with your starting now there's no room left for wondering got... Read more