Gutfeld: It’s Russia, Russia, Russia again

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] [LAUGHTER] >> STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! I WOULD BLUSH IF I HAD ANY BLOOD IN MY BODY. HAPPY THURSDAY EVERYONE. IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS SINCE CNN ANNOUNCED THEY ARE BRINGING BACK BRIAN STELTER, TWO DAYS AND ALREADY JAKE TAPPER HAS HAD TO BRING BACK HIS REFRIGERATOR LOCK. ONCE AGAIN THE BIDEN DOJ HAS FORMERLY ACCUSED RUSSIA OF ELECTION INTERFERENCE. I GUESS WHAT IS OLD IS NEW IF YOUR PRESIDENT HAS DEMENTIA. [LAUGHTER] LIZ CHENEY SAYS SHE IS VOTING FOR KAMALA HARRIS. >>> WELL THEN KAMALA HAS MY VOTE SAYS ONE MAN. THAT'S BENEDICT ARNOLD FOR ALL OF YOU NONHISTORY BUFFS. A LAS VEGAS WOMAN TOLD POLICE SHE STOLE AN EXPENSIVE CASKET CONTAINING A BODY BECAUSE SHE BLACKED OUT FROM DRINKING. BUT DON'T WORRY THE CORPSE WAS RETURNED SAFELY. [LAUGHTER] HUNTER BIDEN PLED GUILTY TO TAX EVASION. HE TRIED TO USE AN ALFORD PLEA WHICH WOULD ALLOW HIM TO PLEAD GUILTY WHILE MAINTAINING HIS INNOCENCE. SE WANTED TO TO HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. WHICH HE ALSO WROTE OFF ON HIS TAXES. [LAUGHTER] CALIFORNIA IS MULLING A BILL REQUIRING CARS TELLING DRIVERS WHEN THEY'RE SPEEDING. OPPONENTS SAY THERE'S NO NEED FOR THIS WHEN YOU CAN SIMPLY TRAVEL WITH YOUR WIFE. [LAUGHTER] BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO MY RIGHT DUDES? >> BRAVE MAN. >> Greg: WIVES HOT? WHAT CAN YOU DO WITH THEM. ALL RIGHT. DEMI MOORE SAID SHE RECENTLY RECOVERED FROM A PAINFUL CASE OF SHINGLES. THE 61-YEAR-OLD ACTRESS SAYS SHE SHARED THE NEWS JUST IN CASE THERE WERE ANY MEN WHO STILL THOUGHT OF HER WHEN. ACTOR JOAQUIN PHOENIX FACES QUESTIONS AS TO WHY HE DROPPED OUT OF A MOVIE WHERE HIS CHARACTER WOULD ENGAGE IN?! SCENES. PUBLICIST SAY HE WOULD HAVE TO PROVE HE'S NOT HOMOPHOBIC BY ROLLERBLADING. DO PEOPLE STILL DO THAT? AND A TRANSATLANTIC FLIGHT HAD TO MAKE AN UNPLANNED STOP IN NEW YORK TO GET ON A DIFFERENT PLANE BECAUSE A PASSENGER HAD DIARRHEA. THE PASSENGER PLACED ON THE NO FLIGHT LIST LOTS OF FLIES LIST. >> IT'S YOUR FAULT. YOU ENCOURAGED IT. >> Greg: SO STOP ME IF YOU'VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE. THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE AND THE FBI ANNOUNCED ANOTHER INVESTIGATION OF RUSSIAN INFLUENCE OF AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL POLITICS. THE DOJ CHARGE TO RUSSIAN EMPLOYEES OF RT, THE RUSSIA STATE RUN MEDIA OUTLET, WITH FUNDING A $10 MILLION SCHEME TO PUSH RIGHT WING VIEWPOINTS THAT HELP DONALD TRUMP GET ELECTED. THE DOJ SEIZED 32 INTERNET DOMAINS THAT THEY SAY MINUTE MICK LEGITIMATE U.S. OUTLETS ALLTO SPREAD INFORMATION. THAT DEI MIGHT BE BAD AND CRIME COMMITTED BY ILLEGALS IS HAPPENING. NOW HOLD ON A SECOND. THOSE TOPICS SOUND KIND OF FAMILIAR. IT'S LIKE THIS STUFF WE TALK ABOUT. HOW CONVENIENT IS THAT FOR OUR WEAPON EYES TO JUSTICE SYSTEM. EVERY SINGLE ISSUE WE COVER CAN NOW BE CHALKED UP TO RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION. AT LEAST THEY LEFT OUT THE RESTFUL BENEFITS OF RELAX HE HIM. SO RUSSIA PAID 10 MILLION BUCKS FOR STUFF YOU COULD HAVE GOT FROM ME FOR FREE. I WOULD'VE ONLY CHARGED SEVEN. 10 MILLION IS ACTUALLY A PAY CUT, I KID. BUT TRUST ME, 10 MILLION BUCKS ISN'T MUCH IN TV. FOX SPENDS THAT EVERY WEEK ON HAIR AND MAKEUP. >> NOT ON ME. >> Greg: IT WAS 20 BUT THEN HERE ALTHOUGH LEFT. >> NEVER OVER. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] >> Greg: THEY ARCHLY HIRED A MIGRANT CREW TO LANDSCAPE HIS MUSTACHE. BUT SORRY GUYS, HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU. IT'S NOT RUSSIA DESTROYING OUR FAITH IN GOVERNMENT, IT'S OUR GOVERNMENT. TELLING US THAT TRUMP CAN'T BE PRESIDENT BECAUSE MOSCOW PREFERS HIM TO KAMALA. I KNOW RUSSIA DOESN'T WANT TO KAMALA, EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO EMBRACED KARL MARX THINK KAMALA IS TOO MUCH OF A MARXIST. THAT'S LIKE THE VIEW SAYING A BIG MACK IS TOO HIGH IN CALORIES. I DON'T WANT TOUGH OR INSTATE INTERFERE IN OUR ELECTIONS BUT MY DOGS INSTAGRAM HAS MORE INFLUENCE. ONE FAKE SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT ALLEGED TO A SPREAD A RUSSIAN LIES HAD ONLY SEVEN FOLLOWERS. IT WAS CALLED CNN CALIFORNIA. [LAUGHTER] THE ONLY HAD SEVEN FOLLOWERS, SEEMS PRETTY ACCURATE. MEANWHILE NOTICE WHAT MEDDLING EVILDOER WASN'T PART OF THE INDICTMENTS. IRAN WHO HACKED TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN AND TOOK OVER AMERICAN COLLEGES AND SPONSORED HAMAS WHICH KILLED U.S. CITIZENS. WHY TARGET RUSSIA AND NOT A RANDOM? IRAN TRIED TO KILL DONALD TRUMP. MEANWHILE CHINA'S ASSETS DROVE AROUND DEMOCRAT SENATORS. THEY SCREWED DEMOCRAT LIKE YOU SMELLS. AND THEY GET ON THE SENSE OF CHINESE INFLUENCES WITH AN HOUR LATER DEMOCRATS ARE HUNGRY FOR MORE. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] THE HARPER WITH CHINA IS FINDING A SPY THAT CAN STOMACH HIS ARE LOOKING AT THEIR FACE. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHATEVER THIS IS IN WHATEVER THE U.S. DOES ON OUR OWN? WE DO MORE DAMAGE TO OUR CITIZENS, SERIOUSLY DID RUSSIA COVER UP JOE'S DEMENTIA FOR FOUR YEARS? DID RUSSIA EXERCISE A SILENT COUP ONCE JOE'S ILLNESS WAS EXPOSED? DID RUSSIA PUSH MAIL-IN VOTING AND NO VOTER I.D., COMPLETELY DESTROYING EXIT POLLING AS A WAY TO GAGE A FAIR ELECTION? DID RUSSIA PUSH VOTING MACHINES OVER PAPER BALLOTS? DID RUSSIA FORCE RFK JR. TO STAY ON THE BALLOT AGAINST HIS WILL IN THE HOPES IT'LL HURT TRUMP? DID RUSSIA PAINT TRUMP AS HITLER AND PUSH HOAXES THAT PUT A TARGET ON HIS BACK? DID RUSSIA ELEVATE THE ONLY DEMOCRAT ON EARTH THAT MAKES YOU MISS JOE BIDEN? [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] AND IT DID RUSSIA AND THE WORST INTERFERENCE OF ALL, WEAPON EYES OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM IN A PERVERSION CALLED LAW FAIR, ALL TO A CHEERING AMERICAN MEDIA? I WILL TAKE FOREIGN INTERFERENCE OVER THIS DOMESTIC [BLEEP] ANY DAY. [APPLAUSE] MAYBE THAT'S WHY THE DEMS ARE SWEATING. EVEN WHEN COMES CHEATING THEY HATE COMPETITION. >> WHAT SLOCUM TONIGHT'S GUESS. FINANCIAL EXPERTS DEAD LAST ALPHABETICALLY. FINANCIAL HEATHER ZUMARRAGA. HE LOOKS LIKE A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR THAT GOT CAUGHT IN A STING? COMEDIAN LOU PEREZ. TO THE BAR SHE CANNOT LEAD US NOW THAT SHE'S WITH FETUS. "NEW YORK TIMES" BEST-SELLING AUTHOR KAT TIMPF. AND HE'S NEVER AT HIDE AND SEEK. FORMER WORLD CHAMPION. HEATHER SO MANY INTERESTING ASPECTS TO THIS STORY. AND ONE ESSENCE IT RECALLS THE BOARD -- BOY WHO CRIED WOLF. YOU BEAT THAT THING INTO THE GROUND. >> ALL OVER AGAIN. >> Greg: EXACTLY. WHAT SAY YOU? >> IT'S ALWAYS BAD WHEN A FOREIGN AGENT METALS AND U.S. ELECTIONS BUT THE RUSSIA COLLUSION HOAX IN 2016, WHY NOT TRY IT ALL OVER AGAIN? I THINK IT SHOULD BE A REMINDER THAT THEY ARE NOT CALLING OUT CHINA BECAUSE IT HAS SMALL TO MINIMAL INTERFERENCE IN TERMS OF A MATERIAL IMPACT. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CALL OUT CHINA AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CALL OUT IRAN YOU WANT TO SINGLE-HANDEDLY ONLY CALL OUT RUSSIAN INTERFERENCE BECAUSE IT FITS YOUR POLITICAL NARRATIVE. THAT IS REALLY BIASED. WHAT DETERMINES, WHAT DEFINES INTERFERENCE? MILLIONS OF ILLEGALS GRANTING THE RIGHT TO VOTE, THAT IS ELECTION INTERFERENCE AND THAT IS INFLUENCE. COMING FROM ALL SIDES. >> Greg: AUDIENCE JUST TO RAISE A QUESTION, HOW DO WE KNOW THAT WASN'T RUSSIAN MISINFORMATION? >> YOU DON'T. [LAUGHTER] >> Greg: BECAUSE IT'S A TALKING POINT THAT IS PART OF THE DOJ SAYING TALKING POINTS LIKE THAT WERE RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION. SO WE WILL HAVE TO INVESTIGATE YOU HEATHER AFTER THE SHOW. LU IS AND IT KIND OF AMAZING HOW THE POINTS OF DISINFORMATION THAT YOU MIGHT HERE AT FOX NEWS? >> 1 THING I WANT TO SAY IS YOU SHOULD WATCH WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE THE REPUBLICANS ARE GOING TO NEED THE VOTES FROM THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS IF THEY'RE GOING TO WIN THIS THING. WE HAVE TO WORK ON THAT. I'M DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE THE DEJA VU AND THERE IS THIS TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW, FACEBOOK BASICALLY DECIDING THE ELECTION. I ALWAYS WANT TO ASK PEOPLE WHAT WAS THE POST THAT MADE YOU VOTE FOR DONALD TRUMP? WHAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT BROUGHT THAT ABOUT? BECAUSE YOU MENTIONED A BUNCH OF THE STUFF THAT THEY ARE COMMENTING ON. ONE OF THE CAUSES THAT THEY WANT WAS LOWERING PRESIDENT BIDEN'S CONFIDENCE RATING DOWN TO AT LEAST 29%. YOU'RE TELLING US THE RUSSIANS SOMEHOW GOT THAT BROUGHT BIDEN'S BRAIN THAT DID STUFF THAT NATURALLY LOWERED IT? THE SCARIEST THING AS YOU KNOW THIS WILL BE USED AS AN EXCUSE FOR CENSORSHIP. AND, YOU KNOW, IT IS SO FUNNY THAT IT'S COMING OUT AFTER MARK ZUCKERBERG COMES OUT AND SAYS THAT BIDEN ADMIN WAS PRESSURING US TO CENSOR OUR PLATFORMS. THEY WILL USE IT AGAIN FOR SURE. >> Greg: THESE ARE GREAT POINTS AND THE FACT THAT THE DISINFORMATION KAT, IS WHY IS IT NECESSARY WHEN THE INFORMATION IS THERE? I DON'T NEED A POST TO TELL ME THAT JOE BIDEN'S UNWELL. I DON'T NEED A POST TO TELL ME THAT CRIME IS UP OR THAT ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION IS RAMPANT. IT IS ALL THERE. IT IS AND AN EXCUSE TO CENTER. >> THANK YOU. I THINK FIRST OF ALL YOU'RE UNDER ARREST OR UNDERESTIMATING HOW HUGE IT IS. THAT'S A LOT OF THINGS YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH TO SAY. >> Greg: EXACTLY. >> FOR A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE THERE ABLE TO FULL OUT THERE RUSSIAN FOLDER OF [BLEEP] AND DOES THAT OFTEN USE THAT AGAIN. >> Greg: REPURPOSE. >> HOW GREAT DOES IT FEEL THE REPURPOSE? >> Greg: IN BETWEEN THE FIVE AND THIS SHOW. >> IN AREA OF LIFE IT'S WHY DO YOU DO THIS WORK AGAIN, WE'VE ALREADY GOT THE RUSSIAN STUFF SO I THINK FOR SOME PEOPLE IT'S THE SAME PLAYBOOK BUT I THINK IT'S AN EXCUSE TO CENSOR AND THERE'S A LOT OF EXCUSES TO CENSOR BUT THERE'S OBVIOUSLY NO SUCH THING AS DISINFORMATION THE WAY THE GOVERNMENT SAYS IT BECAUSE IT IS GOVERNMENT INFORMATION IN THE GOVERNMENT IS EITHER WRONG OR LYING A LOT. IT'S TO SAY THAT GOVERNMENT IS THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO LIE OR BE WRONG RIGHT? >> Greg: NOBODY TYRUS IS SAYING THE GOVERNMENT CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THAT IS? YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD ME WHAT INFORMATION IS. >> ACCORDING TO WHO? >> TO BE FAIR WE JUST FOUND OUT WHAT A WOMAN IS SO GIVE US SOME TIME ON THE INFORMATION. >> Greg: HAVE WE? I STILL NEED PROOF. [LAUGHTER] >> HAVE KNOWN THAT LITTLE SECRET FOR A LONG TIME. I THINK TODAY IS A HISTORIC DAY. TODAY IS THE PANIC BUTTON. THERE WERE TWO STORIES THAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT LATER BUT HUNTER BIDEN'S MOVE, THERE MOVE, I THINK THE WHEELS ARE COMING OFF AND THINK WE CAN'T WIN. SO HE PLED GUILTY TODAY SO WE COULD GET HIS PARDON, BECAUSE IF SHE DOESN'T WHEN SHE CAN'T PARDON HIM. >> Greg: RIGHT. >> SO THAT PANIC IS GOING DOWN. THE RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION, LO AND BEHOLD OUR BALLISTIC MISSILES ARE BEING USED BY UKRAINE TO SHOOT AT RUSSIA SO I'M SURE THERE WILL BE PAYBACK COMING OUR WAY OR AN EXCUSE FOR US TO GET MORE INVOLVED. THEY ARE PANICKING TODAY SO PRESIDENT TRUMP PROBABLY HAD ONE OF THE BEST INTERVIEWS OF HIS CAREER TODAY, WHEN HE WAS SPEAKING TO THE ECONOMIST OF NEW YORK WHERE HE WAS ANSWERING QUESTIONS ON ECONOMY AND THEY WERE HITTING HIM WITH REAL QUESTIONS. SHE CAN GO TO THE PLAYBOOK AND SAY HE'S A RUSSIAN ASSET AGAIN AND SO THEY ARE PANICKING. IT'S ALL COMING OUT AND ALL GUNS ARE COMING OUT NOW. LITERALLY TO TRY TO SAVE THE SELECTION FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE TERRIFIED. TODAY WAS A BIG DAY. EVERYTHING WAS CONNECTED AND ALWAYS THINK ABOUT WHY THIS AND THE OTHER, THAT IS WHAT TODAY WAS ABOUT THEY ARE OFFICIALLY WORRIED. >> Greg: WE'VE GOT TO MOVE ON BUT. [APPLAUSE] EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT IN THE DISINFORMATION LIST WAS SOMETHING THAT WE TALKED ABOUT AND WE EXPRESSED A PERSPECTIVE THAT THEY SAID WAS DISINFORMATION. IT IS ABOUT CENSORING. IT IS INCREDIBLE THAT THEY EVEN SAID THIS, IT MEANS THAT ANYTHING THAT I SAY AND ANYBODY SAYS HERE COULD BE RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION. AND THEY WILL ONLY BE RIGHT HALF OF THE TIME. [LAUGHTER] UP NEXT WALZ OWN KIN HOPES HE WON'T WIN. [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]