Gutfeld: Donald Trump will put everything out there

[ ♪♪♪ ] >> Greg: I. I KNOW. I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME. HAPPY WEDNESDAY BRIAN STELTER RETURNING TO CNN THE NETWORK ALSO ANNOUNCED THE OFFICE, FOR A WILL BE OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY NOW THEY SAY HE HAD HIS HIRING IS A BOLD MOVE TO INCREASE WORKPLACE DIVERSITY BY ADDING UP POTATO AND WHO BETTER TO COVER BIDEN'S LAST DAYS THAN VEGETABLE. HE CLAIMED IT GETTING FIRED WAS THE BEST FOR FITTING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO THEM BETTER THAN MARRIAGE KIDS OR THE BACON NADIR HE SAID HE MOVED TO A HORSE FARM AFTER BEING FIRED BUT FINISHED EATING AND HE NOW RETURNS TO WORK. CNN STAFFERS EXPRESSED LITTLE PLEASURE IN HIS RETURN THIS TIME AROUND THE THEY HOPE HE GETS HIS OWN BATHROOM. HE WILL PUBLISH A RELIABLE SOURCES NEWSLETTER BUT ALSO A STREAMING SERVICE CNN PLUS SIZE 1 IS A BLOATED UNWATCHABLE MESS THE OTHER IS BRIAN STELTER. HE REPORTS HIS JOB AS CHIEF MEDIA ANALYST WHICH REQUIRES HIM TO WATCH LOTS OF TV PLAYING TO HIS SKILL SET IS SITTING. IT'S STRANGE THEY'D READ HIRE SOMEBODY TO YEARS AFTER FIRING HIM FOR A JOB ANYONE COULD DO WHY STELTER HE WAS WRONG ON EVERY MAJOR STORY TERRIBLE RATINGS THE ONLY PERSON WHO BENEFITS FROM THIS IS ME. THANK YOU CNN. IN OTHER NEWS SCIENTISTS DISCOVERED A DOUGHNUT-SHAPED REGION OF THE EARTH'S CORE WHERE SEISMIC WAVES TRAVEL MORE SLOWLY DID SOMEBODY SAY DONA? DOUGHNUT? WE WILL HAVE MORE ON HIM LATER GOD KNOWS YOU CAN PUT A LOT ON HIM. TRUMP IS NOT ONLY WILLING TO TALK ABOUT HIS POLICIES BUT HE WILL TALK TO ANYONE EVERYWHERE ANY TIME HE PUTS EVERYTHING OUT THERE ANSWER ANY QUESTION SO YOU KNOW WHO HE REALLY IS COMPARE THAT TO HARRIS IMAGINE IF THEY WERE REAL ESTATE AGENTS RIGHT TRUMP WOULD TAKE YOU ON MULTIPLE HOUSE TOURS SHOW YOU EVERY NOTE IN CRANNY THE SHOWERHEADS BASEMENT UTILITY ROOM AND THE SERVANTS AND TRIP WHICH ISN'T A EUPHEMISM. AND A MUDROOM. AND AS YOU GET NO MORE THAN YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW BEFORE MAKING AN OFFER COMPARE THAT TO HARRIS YOU JUST HAVE A SINGLE PICTURE ON THE WEBSITE AND IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE THIS AS TRUMP IS NOTHING WAITING TO HINE AS HE STANDS IN ANYTHING EVEN WHEN BULLETS ARE FLYING HE SOUGHT TO GET THE WORD IN. THE TRUMP VANCE TICKET IS DONE 37 INTERVIEWS COMPARED TO ONLY 1 FOR HARRIS AND TIM SO WHEREVER YOU STAND POLITICALLY THE FACT TRUMP WILL TELL US WHAT HE INTENDS TO DO AN OFFICE MAKES THEM RIGHT NOW THE FAR SUPERIOR CANDIDATE THAT ANDY DIDN'T BANG WILLIE BROWN. TRUTH THIS HARRIS IS BURDENED BY YOUR PAST WHETHER IT'S HELPING TO DESTROY SAN FRANCISCO A BANG UP JOB WITH THE SOUTH BORDER OR SHE FAKES PHONE CALLS LIKE 1 KM CALLS ME ASKING FOR MONEY. MEANWHILE WITH TRUMP DONALD SHOWED HIS USUAL FLAIR FOR NUANCE LIKE IS HER TO SHARE SOME MARXIST. HER FATHER IS A MARXIST. WHENEVER WE USED TERMS LIKE COMMUNISM FOR DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS SOME PEOPLE CALL YOU A FASCIST. >> THEY DO SO I FIGURE IT'S ALREADY THERE CALLED HIM A COMMUNIST THEY CALL ME WORSE THAN WHAT I CALL THEM THEN FRIEDMAN BRADY HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS. >> I HAD A LOT OF FRIENDS WHO ARE INDEPENDENT MANY OF WHOM LIKE YOUR POLICIES BUT THEY ARE TROUBLED BY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE 2020 ELECTION AND THE STATEMENTS ABOUT WIDESPREAD FRAUD WHAT CAN YOU SAY TO THOSE INDEPENDENT VOTERS TO HELP THEM DECIDE WHO TO VOTE FOR? >> I THINK THE ELECTION WAS A FRAUD AND MANY PEOPLE SAY THAT AND WHEN YOU CAN'T CHALLENGE AN ELECTION YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO CHALLENGE IT. >> Greg: TRUMP MIX A GOOD POINT JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T LET YOU PROVE SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T TRUE. THAT'S WHY UNTIL YOU COME TO MEASURE MY HEIGHT I STILL ASSERT I'M 5'7. WHAT ABOUT UFOS MANY ARE INTERESTED IN FOOTAGE OF UFOS. >> PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN THE FOOTAGE OF UFOS FOR EXAMPLE THE PENTAGON RELEASED A FEW VIDEOS AND THERE IS ANECDOTAL REPORTS FROM FIGHTER PILOTS SO A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WILL YOU HELP PUSH THE PENTAGON TO ACTUALLY RELEASE MORE FOOTAGE WHICH A LOT OF PEOPLE CLAIM IS AVAILABLE. >> I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT I KIND OF HAVE TO DO THAT. NOW IT'S NOT CLEAR IF TRUMP REALLY BELIEVES IN UFOS BUT HE SEES AS AN APOLITICAL ISSUE WHERE BEING CURIOUS IS A SURE WIN BECAUSE WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW IS OUR ANAL PROBES ALL THEY ARE CRACKED UP TO BE I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED ALIENS PROVE ME WRONG. TRUMP ALSO SUGGESTED HE WOULD RELEASE JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S ENTIRE CLIENT LIST. >> IT'S STRANGE FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE THE LIST OF CLIENTS THAT WENT TO THE ISLAND HASN'T BEEN MADE PUBLIC AND IT'S INTERESTING PROBABLY WILL BE AND YOU MAYBE MAY BE THOSE LIBERALS WHO CLAIM THEY WILL LEAVE THE COUNTRY IF TRUMP WINS ACTUALLY WILL. [ Cheering and Applause ] AND HE ALSO PONDERED GOD HE WONDERED IF HER COUNTRY IS MISSING A LOT OF RELIGION. >> OR COUNTRY'S MISSING A LOT OF RELIGION A MUCH BETTER PLACE WITH RELIGION IT WAS ALMOST A GUIDED RIGHT YOU WANT TO BE GOOD TO PEOPLE WITHOUT RELIGION THERE IS NO REAL GUARDRAILS. I HAD TO LIVE TO US GET BACK TO RELIGION, MORE RELIGION IN THE COUNTRY. >> PRAISING GOD'S BEATS WORSHIPING A GOLDEN COW. NOW I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE SOMEWHERE. HE ALSO ASKED TRUMP IF HE THOUGHT MUCH ABOUT DEATH I WONDER IF IT IS WHAT IT IS. >> IT IS WHAT IT IS. >> Greg: SAY THAT TO MY UROLOGIST EVERY MONTH. BUT YOU ALSO CAN'T ARGUE WITH HIS ASSESSMENT OF LIFE TO A CERTAIN EXTENT LIFE IS WHAT YOU DO WHILE YOU'RE WAITING TO THE SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO A GOOD JOB TAKE THAT ARISTOTLE IN-YOUR-FACE PLATO PRETTY MUCH SUMS UP THE MEETING OF LIFE IN HIS OWN WAY COMMON THOUGHTFUL NO POLITICAL [ Bleep ] may be harsh but just a billionaire every man the guy Americans relate to far more than what's become the Democrats look at their candidate which her party is happy to hide as trans parity would only reveal a vast nothingness. A CAREER HACK THE HIDES THE VIEWS AND LET A COUP AGAINST HER BOSS YET TRUMP THE KNOWN QUANTITY WHOSE THE RISK BUT GOD FOR BID YOU BE OBJECTIVE OVER HIM BECAUSE THAT WILL ONLY HELP HIM THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WHAT ARE WE 9 YEARS IN THE DONALD TRUMP AREA IN AMERICAN POLITICS STILL DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COVER AS OF THEIR OBJECTIVITY AND THEY ARE SO NUMBED BY THE HATE IF WE PLAY UP THE THREAD ENOUGH THEN WE DON'T HAVE TO BE OBJECTIVE IT'S A CIRCULAR LIVE ARGUMENT FOR RETARDED PEOPLE WHEN I TELL YOU BEING IN BIASES WRONG I'M BEING BIASED WHEN I SAY IT BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE BEING UNBIASED IS WRONG. YOU FOLLOW? >> NOPE. >> NEITHER DO I ALSO THE GUY THEY CLAIM AS AN UNFORESEEN DANGER WILL TALK TO ANYBODY WHO WILL LISTEN IT'S TRUMP WHO WENT AND TALKED TO LITTLE ROCK IT MAN WHO TOLD IN CHINA TO PAY UP AND TOLD MEXICO TO KNOCK IT OFF THAT LIST THE DONALD TRUMP WHO WOULD ACTUALLY TALK TO YOU AND NOT HAVE THE MEDIA DO IT FORUM. LET'S WELCOME TONIGHT'S GUESTS. HE'S A POLITICAL FORCE WHO GOT PICKED KICKED BY A HORSE. KNOWN BY 1 NAME LIKE SALMONELLA. AND EVEN AFTER COVID AUDIENCES INSIST HE WEARS A MASK JOE DEVITO. AND THE THEY DIDN'T VOTE FOR BIDEN AND STILL STAYED BLACK. CHARLIE CHARLIE CHARLIE YOU JUST CACKLE AWAY WHEN TRUMP TALKS WHY IS IT. IT'S A NATURAL... I FIND HIM HILARIOUS BUT PEOPLE LISTEN TO HIM AND STEEN COMES OUT. WE BOTH SPENT OUR LIVES IN THE MEDIA I SPENT MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE COVERING POLITICIANS FULL OF [ Bleep ] all the time and somebody comes along and says something true but now they say things which is better than a politician anything they say is a lie except this guy who says it's a fascinating interview with very intelligent people in the guy so confident in who he is wandering to areas and answer questions or if he had been the politician school and as you pointed out the problem was are you going to play the game or not and soon as he answers the quest knees playing the game the guy does not have to answer the question if that's not what we're looking for in politics than this won't work that's what we want in politics and what we need in politics Kennedy a. AND TO THEY ALL JUST APPLIED WHEN I SAY YOUR NAME. >> IT WASN'T THE GREAT POINT THERE. SO LEX FRIEDMAN FROM MIT A COMPUTER ENGINEER AND COMPUTER SCIENTIST DO YOU THINK HARRIS WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THE INTERVIEW? THIS ONLY 1 WAY TO FIND OUT AS THEY ARE NOW THE TIME AS TO GETTING SICK OF HER SHTICK THAT WOULD BE A GREAT TIME TO GO ON A SHOW LIKE THAT AND ANSWER QUESTIONS. WHAT DID SHE KNOW ABOUT THE VISITOR LOGS AT EPSTEIN ISLAND WHAT DID SHE KNOW ABOUT ALIENS AND ABOUT ECONOMICS. THAT WOULD BE A WONDERFUL CHANCE DOING GOOD AT STIFLING THEIR LEFT AND PUTTING YOU'RE IN A PHYSICIAN WHERE THEY ARE COMFORTABLE THERE. AND TO EVERY TIME TRUMP IS AN HONEST INTERVIEW LIKE THAT AND TALKS ABOUT THINGS THAT SET YOU UP TO TALK ABOUT ANAL PROBES WHICH IS THE GIFT WE'VE ALL RECEIVED DOING SOMETHING LATER FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING. ANOTHER CHANCE FOR THEIR FAMILY TO DEFECT TO JOIN TEAM TRUMP. AND THAT'S WHAT THEY HEARD ABOUT WHICH IS HILARIOUS AND WHAT THEY TALKED ABOUT THAT FOR ANYBODY ELSE. SO THEY ALSO TALK ABOUT DRUGS WERE YOU SURPRISED BY TRUMP'S RESPONSE. AND THEY TALKED ABOUT MEDICAL MARIJUANA AND THE ONLY INTOXICANTS HE GETS NEAR THERE'S HAIRSPRAY HE AND INHALES BY MISTAKE. >> I THOUGHT IT WAS A GREAT INTERVIEW HE WAS CALM AND TALKED OVER POLICY HE WANTED TO. IT'S HILARIOUS WHERE HE WILL SAY WHAT ABOUT THE ALIENS IN TRUMP'S LECTURE YOU WANT TO SEE THAT NO PROBLEM. DID BIGFOOT TAKE A SHOT AT JFK I WILL TAKE A LOOK PLUS HE WOULD BE A 1 TERM PRESIDENT SO HE WILL LET ALL THAT COME OUT IF HE GETS ELECTED AGAIN. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED FROM THIS WAS COULD HARRIS SIT DOWN UNSCRIPTED IT CASUAL TALK LIKE THAT COULD SHE DO AN HOUR OR 15 MINUTES DUE TO MINUTES WITHOUT HAVING THEM SIT AROUND THE KEYS PETTING HER CAT. THAT'S WHAT WE LEARNED AND MAYBE THEY CAN ASK PLANO A PHONE WORKS DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU DON'T NEED TO HOLD IT NEXT YEAR HAD LIKE THAT. IF THE OBAMA'S ARE IN SPEAKERPHONE AND YOU'RE WEARING A MICROPHONE AND THERE'S A CAMERA IN FRONT OF YOU YOU DON'T NEED TO GO OH WHO'S THIS. TRUMP MIRRORS THE PEOPLE HE TALK TO LIKE HE BECAME A MORE RELAXED WITH LEX WHAT STUCK OUT FOR YOU SURE IS A GREAT SCIENTIST BUT FELT LIKE POURING WARM MILK OF GLASS -- 1 GLASS OF MILK WHEN HE TALKED. HE MIGHT BE A GENIUS BUT HE SOUNDED LIKE HE DOESN'T READ GOOD IN THIRD GRADE READING TO THE CLASS IS LIKE A TODAY GUYS SPOT IS GOING TO THE FARM AND THE FARM IS RED AND I'M LIKE YOU ARE A [ Bleep ] scientists I guess you didn't have time for speech Glassboro and what Trump did was hilarious because he did what I would do. NOBODY TALKS THIS SLOW AND THEY HAD A SLOW TALK OF BATTLE WHICH WAS EPIC I WOULD'VE JUST TAPPED OUT PROBABLY GOT PHYSICALLY AGGRESSIVE LIKE IF YOU DON'T SPEAK THE [ Bleep ] up I will kill you. IT WAS SO SLOW. >> YOU NEED TO DO THAT AT 1.5 SPEED. I JUST CAN'T EVER HAVE A FRIEND THAT TAKES FOREVER TO SPIT IT OUT. AND THAT JUST LIKE SPIT THAT BLEAKLY BATMAN ONLY 24 HOURS A DAY BUT TRUMP DID GREAT BUT HATE CURE CANCER COOL BUT DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. WELL DONE. SO EXCITED YC AND THEN WIDENED THE DOORS AND REINFORCED OF THE FLOORS