Dax Shepard Shares His Thoughts on the Viral French Pole Vaulter

-Welcome back, everybody. You know, our first guest tonight from his work in shows like "Parenthood" and "Punk'd" and movies such as "CHiPs" and "Baby Mama." He's the host of the fantastic podcast "Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard," which is available through Wondery or wherever your -- you get your podcasts. [ Laughter ] Yeah, you wrote it right, Wally. I just kind of tripped over it. [ Laughter ] I feel like it's famously "wherever you get your podcast" and this is, "or wherever podcasts are available." [ Laughter ] Podcast store. [ Laughter ] Please welcome back to the show our very good friend Dax Shepard! [ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪ ♪♪ Look at us! Just a couple of guys who dress alike. -Just a couple guys that just chopped up a cord of wood. -Yours has got, like, a wood-cord texture. Mine does not, I feel like. I have a lot to say about this, but I need you to know, I was on my way to the bathroom backstage, and I looked up at the monitors and saw you were wearing that, and I was like, "This is borderline embarrassing for both of us." [ Laughter ] Like, I'm flattered 'cause you're stylish, but also embarrassing. And then, backstage, you guys were nice enough to give me... -Last time you were here. -Yeah. And guess what. We were both in suits, as we've always... [ Laughter ] We are always both in suits. -Yeah. Well, you're one of the nice people that, like, you've got some real money and then started dressing worse. And I really respect that. [ Laughter ] You made some real money. -If you don't use your real money to stop caring, what on Earth is the point? -What is the money for? -Why get it? -I had a good summer, but last summer I had a very nice summer because I saw you a ton last summer. -Yeah, we were together last summer. -Yeah. -We had as lovers have had. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] We had a summer together. -We had a summer together. Our kids interacted, our wives interacted. It was lovely. -Your father-in-law and I fell head over heels in love. -I mean, that's the true love story. -I text with him weekly. -Yeah. -Yes. -Everyone who comes into my orbit and meets my father-in-law just immediately leaves me for him. -Well, that's what being married to Kristen Bell is like. -Oh, right. -Yes! [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. -Everyone who's like, "Dax is so incredible." they just have to meet Kristen to be like, "He's not that great." -No, he's kind of average, by comparison. And he doesn't dress up anymore, which is unbecoming. -Heartbreaking. Um, but you guys -- So you guys were on the road this summer, as well? -Yes. So, the unfortunate thing is that our summer together was so spectacular that, this year, we went to Scandinavia, which is incredible. And we went to Iceland and Norway and Sweden and Denmark, which all in a car, driving around with two little kids. A thing I started noticing is that I think we discussed the Norwegians. -We discussed them. -Americans. I'm using the "we," informal, as us Americans. Because we would stop at the gas station and load up on snacks. It's a road trip. Throw them all on the counter. And my kids would be piling garbage on the counter. And I've got a couple thousand drinks, and I could see the proprietor was like, "You guys are disgusting." [ Laughter ] "You're so consumptive. You're everything that's wrong." It's weird to see a proprietor not want to sell the goods that are for sale. [ Laughter ] -No, they're like, "This business is built around everyone getting one thing." -"Come in and get the thing you need to stay alive for the next three hours, and then get another thing to stay alive." And we would go out to eat. And, two, we'd be ordering, and they would just straight say, "That's too much food." [ Laughter ] And I go, "Like, it's too much you think I can't eat it or are not allowed to get any more food?" And sometimes it was both. -Really? -Yes. -Would you be willing to, um... 'Cause I -- when I went to Scandinavia, what I was taken by is how much they hated the next country you were going to. Like, when we were in Denmark, they're like, "Where are you going to next?" We're like, "Sweden." They're like, "Why?" [ Laughter ] And then when you're in Sweden, "We're going to Finland." They're like, "Ugh." -Yeah. -Did you have a favorite? Start a war with your Scandinavian fans. [ Laughter ] -Uh, they're all so great. Everyone should go. Uh... [ Laughter ] -All right, I'll let you off the hook. -No, but, uh, they were great. And I would say Denmark was a little -- little more open to how much food we ordered. -Okay, got it. -So I'm just -- -So you're basically just judging countries... -I'm gonna give it to Denmark because we were allowed to order an appetizer and an entree without any mad-dogging or side glancing. -You were here last -- or, the last time we were talking was after the Tokyo Summer Olympics. -Oh, yeah, yeah. -And you were sharing that you have a long-running Olympic tradition, which is trying to find moments where athletes' genitals accidentally come out. [ Laughter ] -It's really important. We're abundantly clear that only male genitalia is on my radar. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] And historically -- and again, it's not even about gender. It's just funnier when it comes out. -It's great, but the gender is important here. -Yeah. -I'm a happily married man. I'm not doing this to any of the female athletes. -Oh, no, you're not peeping. -No. But if there is a dong bouncing around in a sprint, I'm going to love that. -Yeah. -I'm gonna rewind it. I'm gonna videotape it. I'm gonna send it to my friend Nate immediately if he hasn't already sent it to me. And we're gonna have a wonderful time. And I have -- this is a funny story -- for me, not the person. [ Laughter ] I was directing a movie. My computer died while we were about to go shooting. It had the script on it. It was a panic. I had an assistant at the time. She took it to the Max store, got a new computer, got everything transferred, and when I lifted up the computer -- this is for real -- the file was open of all my Olympic photos. [ Laughter ] Just 30 or 40 dongs in different state of bouncing. -Yeah. -And I was like, that's not a thing for a boss and an employee to have between them. And then I had to say, like, "Hey, just wanted to bring up that thing. It's a funny bit between me --" And she was like, "I don't really -- didn't want to see it. Don't need to know more about it. You got a file on your computer." But we did have a great offering. -I mean, this was -- I mean, it was one of the great moments of the Olympics was, I mean, this was a pole vaulter... [ Laughter ] ...and he just brought -- he brought it down. [ Cheers and applause ] The service that this man performed for his country and the world, I can't thank him enough. This was a -- this was a -- Sure, Simone -- unstoppable. -Yeah. What a beast. Uh, sure. Sha'Carri winning that 4 x 100. But this is the moment that historians will be talking about. -Yeah, I think so, too. -He only is -- It was too much to get over that bar. -Yeah. -Yeah. [ Laughter ] I mean, it's like -- I feel like the great -- People have an eye for talent. Like, even when he was like, you know, first started out, they're like, "On the plus side, guy's got all the skills. On the downside, one day, it's gonna bring down the bar." -Yes. [ Laughter ] A blessing and a curse. -A blessing and a curse. -He was blessed, and, also, it's gonna be tough for him to get himself and that thing over the bar. -Yeah. You know, this year -- And they were wonderful. My friends Kenan Thompson and Kevin Hart did a show on Peacock where they were, like, covering the Olympics. And I'm not in a position to offer this, but, like, I feel like the next Olympics, you should have your own Peacock show that's just like "Dax Shepard: Dong Watch." -Yeah. [ Laughter ] I mean, a nightly show. -Are you offering? -I'm offering, yeah. -Okay. Where do I sign? -All right, we'll get a contract together, and we'll be right back with more from Dax Shepard.