Colman Domingo | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert I'm Dak Shepard and I'm joined by Lily padman hello hello I think this actor is one of the most beautiful actors alive I would imagine a lot of people like myself probably discovered Coleman on Euphoria where he was what's her name on Euphoria uh Rue Rue Rue's like kind of sponsor in AA yeah he's incredible oh they have the most beautiful scenes in those uh in the diner which we talk about yeah stole my heart in that and then he's just continued every time he pops up I'm just blown away by him he is an Academy Award nominated actor he's a playwright and a director and you've seen him in the color purple fear of The Walking Dead Zola Euphoria rustling and now he has a new movie called Sing Sing which is really really really special uh it's such a cool movie and as you'll learn many of the casts are people that are really involved in the true story behind this movie sing sing it's just outstanding and he's so wonderful and sparkly and kind and lovely please enjoy Coleman Domingo oh and uh before we get into the episode we have a fun opportunity if you would like to go see sing sing this is a rare occurrence where a24 offered us anyone that listened to the episode and got intrigued that would want to go see the movie for free you can because you're an arm Cherry so we're going to do a story and in the story there'll be a link that you can follow if you want to go get free tickets to see Sing Sing do it or in our show description in our chair [Music] exper what hey how you doing what an entrance hi I've been practicing that please come up how's it how are you welcome how you doing great to meet you great to meet you too yeah what a special dude you are oh thanks man yeah yeah I don't know that I've been so moved by an actor long time thank you hi Mony hi what a dazzling outfit you're in oh thanks you know I almost wore some short shorts myself and now I'm kind of regreting we could have really bonded I was in jeans and I was like you know what I'm going to drop down the shorts I'm going to drop down the shorts I'm sitting in an attic with two lovely people it's hot as be chill exactly CH some leg today yeah yeah yeah are those just your legs or are we working on them cuz I destroy mine to get them to look almost as good as yours I got a bad hunch here just look like that dude I have terrible legs no no no no no no no I'm seeing a lot of station on the quadriceps mon are those good or bad legs they're great legs are they really they're like these long you know listen in My DNA I have some Nigerian Bloods so I think it's Nigerian that's what it is you know so you need some of that deck I don't know what percentage you I was very disappointed in my 23 and me I got nothing from Africa what did you get oh man a bunch of [ __ ] British and some no dark colors not even like Italy exactly I don't even have any Mediteranean Mediterranean no you're like white white no melanin none none okay cool no it's not cool I grew I grew up in Detroit it looked good I felt left out I mean sincerely there was this thing the babalo boat you ever heard of babalo Island in Detroit no we had this weird little theme park on an island in between Canada and Detroit and you had to take a boat there and it was one of the rare situations where all the black and white people were together cuz everyone goes to babble Island and I remember as a kid watching I was like all the black folks are dancing on the morning ride there there was like music I never saw white people dance unless they were [ __ ] hammer in [ __ ] face people dancing and don't look as it's not as sexy no it's not life affirming there's a history of people of color and dance and why we dance and to find life you know so I think it's all there which is why I'm always good for a good dance yeah yeah well I too grew up and love to dance like crazy but I just remember thinking like there's something there that I want that we don't seem to have and it's this living out loud fun it just look very attractive to me yeah that's like cultural right I feel like it's the way we're raised you know I grew up in Inner City West Philadelphia talk about expressive people they walk down the street with bravado and style and everything is external but we come from very modest backgrounds so it's like the way you find your way in the world and like the way you amplify is through the way you walk the way you dance the way you dress so I feel like all of that I'm not showing any of that today I am showing leg but I'm not giving you the full monty the full monty of it all I could the shorts are short I could give you the mon well let's just see how this goes may maybe you'll spread out a little bit and we'll see what's cracking down there I'm going to add a layer to it now this is the part I Bond deeply with folks from Detroit which is I think also in a world where there's a lot of trauma and a lot of low lows when the sun's out and the little bit of Joy peaks in you [ __ ] tackle it I think that's like part of the cycle it is for me it's this kind of swinging pendulum of like oh God please are here people are leaving in handcuffs people are bleeding [ __ ] it's sunny we're swimming let's go when it comes you need it and you grab it and you go all the way with it I think that's also in the mix that's also in the mix of like you saying place like Detroit I also say Philly Baltimore DC I feel like it's filled with people who are The Underdogs no one's checking for these people from these places but I think we Thrive and Survive by being the underdog like oh don't count me out cuz I'm like I'm a warrior because you're not thinking about me and I'm going to keep rising and keep Rising like Detroit Detroit has been rising for years but also has a stigma on it I love going to Detroit Detroit is one of my favorite places well it's definitely had all kinds of phases I was living down there in '93 when every building was condemned now was just down there there's [ __ ] farmers markets I did Whole Foods yes I did not think that was coming right was one of the people are like I don't know guys I think that's a rap on Detroit 93 page one re r on on Detroit yeah we need a page one throw out everything you've written so far yeah you're one of four and you're the third yeah oh yeah so who's above you my older brother Rick he's Derek Domingo and then Avery Domingo is my sister and then my younger brother who's Philip BS who is my mother and my stepfather okay so an older brother an older sister a younger brother what was your older brother like what was his Vibe and how much older he's got me by 9 years signant so yeah he was cool he and my sister they were the coolest Kids on the Block they look good they were athletic tough not tough very popular my older brother in particular was very much like how can I say this he wore I'm thinking of him like in the 70s he's born in 60 yeah exactly so I'm thinking of him wearing like gabardine trousers and being sexy and a ladies man everybody loved him he did gymnastics he was a painter Rick was very popular perfect name too for that guy Rick cool guy everybody my sister was the toughest one actually cuz she was a tomboy she was the only girl in the family she was tough I would actually get her to like beat up dudes from yes because I know from your story and just reading about you you're shy you have a lisp you're in Philly yeah I was messed up I'm worried about you listen I was worried about me I was a bookish kid I wasn't a cool kid I was very shy I stayed in the library I did everything that led to you possibly getting beat up I love books and reading and I was a teacher's pet because I did my homework and I Lov my teachers cuz they were the smartest people in the world they were nice to you they were very nice to me but then I felt kids were look at me like I was a Target to be honest all through even up until High School I was always known as being very shy and very quiet and people were like oh did you know you were extroverted and an actor not at all people knew me as I was in the library I was also in the school newspaper I didn't do plays I wasn't with the cool kids cuz also I felt like I went to a school I actually went to school with Will Smith no kidding in similar age in Phil yeah he's one year above but we went to high school together uhuh and do you remember him yeah I do he dated a friend of mine Gina Cooper when he was in school was she hot as she was totally hot she was unbelievable good he's always been crushing comforting exactly so there were the cool kids that went to the wind ballroom and saw Jazzy Jeff and Will Smith perform and all this is in high school they were actually starting to do things they were middle class families you know upper middle class and I was one of the kids that cut the bus oh hold on you got about nine strikes against you at this point I told you I was messed up everything everything about this man sitting across from you it's survival and it started really it's just like how to negotiate and navigate were you trying to be invisible yeah there's a picture of me in my Overbrook High School yearbook when I look at it I go through the yearbook people are looking through oh my gosh and they see me I have a big sweater on my shoulders are hunched and have glasses on I look like I'm trying to fade away You're a CIA operative trying to blend in yeah but I was an observer I realized now that that was part of my superpower I watched everything and I watched human behavior and I watch watched how cool kids operated I watched how the Nerds operated yeah you're never blinded by being on the inside of it you're actually constantly on the outside objectively looking at the math of it and how this works and and that person says this and they respond this way you're looking at all these things outside of your own experience because you're like I wish I had some of these qualities so then I had more to build on by the time I got to college at Temple University I became more extroverted it was an opportunity to become a different person and I start to work out cuz I was always super thin no kind of body again another like this is a very sad story isn't it da yeah like if you're Will Smith it's like let me get this straight you came out the gates you crushed it you never took Crush he was from a middle class family he had his own challenges of course as he I think his family life was a little rough was it obvious though even back then oh he's a star oh he was I didn't know like he was going to be an actor I knew him as a rapper he and Jazzy Jeff they were like the cool kids and all the cool kids went and followed them to the wind ball room and they performed I wasn't invited because I was not a cool kid and I couldn't even afford it Hall and notes are also from Philadelphia darl Hall's also winning singing contests around this era do you have any awareness of Daryl Hall at that time awareness yeah cuz he was the coolest they called them blue-eyed Soul absolutely there's so much soul that comes from Philly Philadelphia International records and you had American band stand that started there yeah and you're not far off that you're my brother's age you're 69 right November 69 say I'm not 69 years old what you doing your research by the way that's happened a few times lately because bad news you and I are approaching our birth year as ages I mean that ain't too far yeah that's kind of wild wait how old are you I was born in 75 I'm 49 okay cool you have a ways to go I do but we were just interviewing someone and I said my birth year and they were like you're not 75 but even the notion that that would get cloudy which is what just happened I said you're 69 me you're born in 69 right but let me tell you something has anybody told you about how good it's going to feel when you're 50 has that happened I read someone's account of kind of the storms have passed that's all I've heard do you love 50y listen I'm going to just on this okay yeah when I was a kid and probably that awkward kid that was trying not to get beat up I always thought I'd be my best when I was about 40 I was really turned on by older people that sounds weird I don't mean turned on no no I got you but I thought that I'd be better when I was 40 I was so awkward and I was looking and I thought older people had all the things figured out then I got to 40 and I'm like 40 is cool but then at the 50 and now I'm at 54 and nobody tells you the 50 you feel like I'm rocking this [ __ ] 50 feels good feels like you know some [ __ ] feels like you can say no to some [ __ ] you really do know yourself you know this operating system now you're actually clear about your choices about your time about your body and what you need what you don't need some woman who I did this tour of a plantation with last year she told me the most fascinating thing and I think that I've approached this earlier than she said I would she said so how old are you I said I'm 50 what 53 at the time she said oh you're in your storytelling season she said for a long time you're telling stories she said when you get to my age about 60 you move into your truth telling season and I was like what's that she says if someone says hey do you want to do that you just say no and I said with no qualifiers with no butt she said no youing say no that's it you stop the people pleasing it's more being very clear and she didn't say it in this callous way like you can't be concerned with other people's feelings but you're like that's basically it last night Monica and I had a debate for 35 minutes is hypothetic like what if David Letterman called me said I want you to come over for I worship him we want you to come over for dinner I'm going to dress up she's like will you dress up and I said absolutely not I don't like to dress up that's just truth telling season yeah yeah I'm not comfortable in a suit I want to enjoy myself at his house in a suit and she said well what if he's offended and I was like I mean that's on him I'm with Monica all right so I'm going have to coign so why do you think he has to dress up though okay okay oh god let's unpack this let's unpack it but she's 36 well okay you're still in your story I'm sorry she was born in 36 well okay it's a longer premise it got thwarted by the clothes but what I was actually trying to ask similarly cuz Dax has a very specific food regimen cuz he has arthritis he can't eat gluten he can't eat garlic there's a lot of things and I said what if Letterman invites you to dinner and he cooks and there's gluten in it well the whole thing's a mess it's a garli gluten it's a garlic bread party okay what do you do yeah I was like do you just eat some because he made it and he invited you over and he put all this thought and time and energy in what do you do and he said he won't eat it and I was shocked no listen Monica I think you have to tell him because you have so many dietary restrictions you have to set up the room absolutely I go God I see you've worked so hard on this meal it looks delicious and I would love to eat it but I'm allergic to garlic and I'm allergic to this and tomorrow my wrists won't was all like [ __ ] you get out eat this dinner and get the [ __ ] out of my house I 18 hours on this this [Laughter] dick you're supp to be allergic to my foot your ass how about that how about that exactly how about that eat that [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out basically yeah how do you got to set it up though well exactly so it took him a minute to get to that speech originally it was just no I would never I wouldn't no I will not harm myself to make someone else happy I'm not going to like give myself swollen joints now let me get back to clothing though so you're already not going to eat the man's food yeah exactly and you're going to just show up in like a t-shirt and some booty shorts what are you doing I moving over to my side is what it sounds like you added booty shorts I've got to evaluate his comfort level with seeing me in booty shorts what if he's like I need you to arrive in booty shorts no problem I got it yeah yeah yeah yeah great like you can objectify me just don't make me uncomfortable don't make me unwell I told Monica's like I get somewhere with a suit I'm like I'm wearing a jacket no one would go somewhere to eat and keep their [ __ ] coat on but that is what a suit is you already have a shirt on but now you're also wearing a coat and there's a button do I have it on do I sling it over my [ __ ] chair no one else is doing that so wait you don't [ __ ] with suits I have to occasionally I got to go to premieres occasionally I got to go to events that require them for sure I was just wondering your disdain for like the level I'll wear them when I have to but not socially as a requirement of our friendship as a requirement of my job and my profession yeah I actually don't think that dinners unless they say please dress when was part of it well sort of he says in hypothetical he says I'm going to dress up everyone's going to dress up no pressure he's being nice about it great no pressure well the moment they said no pressure that's the qualifier though yeah but if everyone's doing it yo he said no pressure that's where it gets into the actual real stuff between Monica and I which is Monica grew up other in Georgia I did not I don't mind sticking out I think that is something cuz she and I people are looking to say you don't belong there ABS [ __ ] lutely you have to actually show them clothing and I talk about this all the time style people make lots of comments on the way I dress and it's all very conscious Behavior because I know I'm being watched even more so so I need to be more meticulous in the storytelling that I'm doing with clothes and it's cool if you love clothes like Monica loves clothes she loves shopping she loves Styles she reads the stuff that's awesome my thing's cars you're never going to see me show up in a [ __ ] car that's not stylish you'll always see me get out of something with 700 horse power period I ain't getting on anything with less power right right so that's just my thing yeah wait let's but let's go really quick back to yes being excluded people are standing in line to exclude you too yeah they weren't standing in line to exclude me I have my own story that I was white trash and I'm excluded from high society and people with money and so weirdly now the tattoos and now I wear t-shirts and I'm checking in the Four Seasons I love it it's kind of a [ __ ] you oh guess what I am here cuz I have this credit card in my hand tough [ __ ] so I've gone even a step and I get my own perverse joy out of like yeah yeah yeah I'm here cuz guess what sad news I have this credit card you know what's Wild though I feel like it works differently here in the states than it does abroad I just came from a long trip abroad where I did notice that the way I dress I mean they're still very old they thinking but as a black man walking into any five-star institution they have an whole idea about you and here you can walk in with tattoos whatever way and people like no you got money you stay here money is the thing money is the thing because that's America but you go to Europe and they're judging you so I had to dress up so they can understand the story walking in and that's the actual kernel of why I reject the whole thing because I do think the entire thing is based its origin story is we're Noble we don't work you work how do you know I'm Noble and you have to work well cuz I have these clothes [ __ ] thatth don't really mean anything it's just drag the origin premise of it I object to yeah I get it but it don't need to be that deep either I can also step back and go like I don't need to have that many issues about all this mostly I just am comfortable in this and I think if I'm going to be a guest at your place you would want me to be I want you to be comfortable you want to [ __ ] wear a Speedo at dinner come over it's funny I have different levels when I have dinner parties if I'm cooking dinner for like six hours and it's a beautiful French meal and I'm like you know what actually I'm gonna say I would love for you all to dress up tonight yeah yeah see I would say that yeah and I think that's fine people come over from my house and sweats and [ __ ] I'm like I've been in the kitchen for six hours you could put on some [ __ ] pants that's how I sort of feel because also I cook a lot too I do a lot of dinner parties so I think on the other side of it I mean Dax cooks really good spaghetti and he does throw spaghetti parties and you can eat it in the nude I don't give a [ __ ] loin claw however you want to eat it but as someone who cooks a lot and it's hard and sort of annoying but great and fun and it's a lot of like love you put into it for someone to come and then not eat it I was saying that would hurt my feelings to be honest I do side eye people if I've made a meal I think I make amazing meals and there's lots of veggies and things like that and for some reason a lot of people still don't eat a lot of veggies which annoys me but anyway I'll put a lot of veggies it could be a simple fish it could be a simple chicken or something but pretty simple because I'm cooking dinner for like 10 people when I look over and see a plate that's like halfway eaten I'm like [ __ ] your problem I know I am I can't even help myself you could try it right you know or like they're pushing all the tomatoes off to the side and everything cuz you know honestly listen me and my husband just came from Europe we don't eat a lot of cheese we don't eat a lot of sugar stuff like that but like go to France you're like you know we have cream you're like I'll take it I'm not going to [ __ ] you oat milk you don't have almond milk no you have what they're serving and then your stomach is [ __ ] up but you know what you're miserable and you're farting all day sorry you're not making love for the next two days the price you pay the diarrhea I brought is not bad though cuz you do drop a good 5 lbs yeah well that's true true you got to get those things moving okay but I do think this is sort of because we have had to say okay I'm just going to suck this up a lot in life things that feel wrong or bad it's just like well this is just the way it is so I'm going to have to deal with it you're very wise so I want to Loop you into something that's going on because it has to do with fashion what we just talked about so people are very mad at me right now what you do on the comments because I was talking basically about luxury fash I was talking about ores sorry and I talk about the row and I talk about the clothes I pick which is the exact same as the car or tracking into the Four Seasons it's I can have this now and so I'm going to and I didn't have it what's the comments I'm unrelatable now cuz I talk about this type of thing thing dax's bus is more relatable you say a Motel 6 to be like relatable I don't know but it's a change they've seen what did it used to be I want to know what the story used to be to them I guess I didn't I can sum it up really quick Monica started as a babysitter seven eight years ago and she's building that big house across the street from us [ __ ] yes right so it's great congratulations now what is relevant is yeah I have stuff I choose not to talk about a lot of the stuff I have that's pretty crazy you do though literally most of that episode was talking about your bus what's getting called out is my conversation about the bag what did you say about the bag that you I just learned about her as I listen to this podcast it's very interesting and yeah I want one $155,000 bag it's insane and why do you want the bag I want the bag because you have to be invited to have it and I was never the person invited to have the B so you want to have the bag as a status symbol or do you want the bag because you like the architecture of the bag well I do think the craftsmanship is incredible okay cool I don't think it's a stat symbol as much as a why do I feel like a therapist right here I'm just like so why do you want the I know we love it generally we're trying to do the same thing to the guest but this is a nice reversal well it's nice to get your take on this because my guess I don't know is that you could maybe relate and the same way you can relate to walking into a place where originally you would have been fully side-eyed and like why are you here and I still feel that when I walk into places like what's this little girl doing here and then when I take the bag off the shelf and I say I'm going to buy this that feels powerful I totally understand the thing that I really understand as I've downloaded what you're saying there's two things one is now that I could afford certain things I actually don't want it anymore sure which is wild I used to walk by this place and wish I could buy things in here and I walk and I'm like it's not my vibe anymore it's funny I've become a bit more simple in what I need actually I think the other stuff that I thought I needed was because I didn't have access or agency and I felt like it would make me feel like I made it or I did something or I'm making money but now I'm wearing just simple Converse we're both in Converse I want to point out a little simple fruit alom t-shirt I don't know but before I was like oh no I really need that $300 t-shirt now I don't but I have been known to do this if I'll go into a place that feels like that they're almost questioning that I'm there I've actually bought things out of spite that's how I exactly you know what no I'll take that back like I don't even make a big decision I'm like oh you know I like that bag I'll take that and they're like so surprised it's happening that quickly too and I'm like yeah you have a espresso do you have champagne I'll take all of it I want to go up I want go down Bo that up exactly I'm going to sit down and have you run around because I'm paying for the whole experience maybe there's something that I think I need to do not only for myself but also for other people that look like me so we're seen differently I think I'm going to join the chat which is yes you were previously looking for external things to confirm that you were worthy and valuable but then you gave that to yourself through your work yes and so that hole got filled by something substantive and so the other stuff's just not as shiny it really is it's fine I have a very similar thing like I coveted everything I grew up broke and for the last couple years I've kind of stopped buying stuff I don't really care I don't want anything for Christmas I like experiences I'll spend a lot of money on a great experience and so I'm that person I'll sit here and talk about Aman hotels till you blow in the face you throw up you know I mean and people like wow you'll spend that much money on the hotel I'm like ABS [ __ ] lutely because I feel like that's taken care of myself and I've worked hard for that I support you say I mean if this something that you desire Now isn't this America where you're supposed to want to Aspire that's what I thought there's a paradox of foot but they are everywhere and that is reality which is yes we are a country that the American dream is you can make anything out of yourself and accomplish great things we also hate rich people that's true the moment you become a billionaire suddenly you're like evil yes exactly you're a monster while I use your product I'm grateful you invented I'm also mad at you you made money from doing it it's all confusing isn't it wild it is but it is the Paradox that is the reality and you just decide whether you want to be conscious of it or not if you don't care then you live with the outcome of that and if you do care then you adjust I think it's important I naturally do it and maybe it's my relationship to social media I don't read a lot of the comments I I may post something put something out a point of view a slice of life and I don't read the comments it's almost not your business it isn't of course we all do it every so often I'll scroll down Twitter and one person can say something and you're like why are they being mean to me you go to their whole thing they got like 25 followers and they're mean everybody cuz they want to make noise and I feel like they're upset with their own lives too how can you find joy for someone else I'm just not someone who's going to post something mean about somebody especially somebody that I don't know I'm not either but I was your story is 3x mine but what felt to me like an attorney I was here for 9 years before I successfully got one of the auditions I went on right I couldn't do it and in that N9 years if you would have bumped into me I would have talked [ __ ] on everyone I would told you all these actors that are working that they don't deserve it that that guy is not a good actor and this person's not funny and yeah I was attacking people and I was insecure and I was fearful I wasn't going to make it and guess what my personality reflected that at times I'm not proud of who I was but then as I got fulfilled guess what I couldn't list 10 actors I think are bad anymore I just don't even notice I notice great actors I'll probably talk about that but I'm not looking for who I think doesn't deserve to be here anymore because I got here and so I'm good and if anyone else gets here even if it's by accident good for them like it ain't taken away from me so I have the luxury and the privilege to be kind of nice cuz my life worked out pretty good now that brings me into another topic kindness I've always believed and I think it's something that my family gave me if they've given me nothing else is a gift of understanding kindness and how to be kind to people and have to look after people how to speak well of people so maybe it's a part of a culture that I just don't understand cuz I've never been that way as an actor even when I was not successful even if I felt like I was on the outside I was like you know well someday that'll be me but also I want to support people who are on the inside and who are doing things and when you lost roles of certain people and you saw their performance you weren't overly critical of it never but it's funny cuz honestly I get dudes left and right who are just like you know I was up for that role I can sit in a room with someone who I know that role was given to you cuz it was offered to me but I didn't but they will never know that cuz they don't need to know that but I feel like I get a lot of D it's more them than me I never felt like I'm in competition with anybody I'm in competition with myself yeah yeah I've lost the role to a couple different people where I end up having the privilege of meeting them and going like oh my God I saw it and thank God they hired you you're so much better than I was capable of being in it at the time I was like are you [ __ ] kidding you're hiring that guy when I saw I was like yeah good job guys you did the right right okay but I want to go through your story that was a fun fun detour you go to Temple journalism I'm just going to throw this out I think this is really weird ding ding ding so yesterday we interviewed Marian Jones remember yeah B's mother went to school for journalism you got a B's father and you went to Temple for journalism how Wild is that backtack days something in the chair Central American is in the chair stay tuned for more armchair expert if you [Music] dare okay so obviously you're not going to Temple to act you're going there to be a journalist you take as an elective and acting class and is it an immediate spark no my mom told me to take she I was taking matriculating classes and everything had to do with journalism she said but also you got to take something for fun I remember when I was a kid I went to the summer program and I had a couple acting classes I remember I had a great time with that and I thought well maybe I'll do that cuz it'll help get me out of my shell again I was very shy in high school so I was like I need a class maybe this would be fun and I took it it felt so good it felt so connected I love the research of it all I love the study of it I love imagining and what it would do to my imagination and then towards the end of the semester my teacher Chris he pulled me and this other young woman aside I wish I knew her name cuz we would rocket in class he said hey have you two ever thought about a career as an actor and we both looked she was like no she smiled I think she was like Oh I thought about it and I was like no like I didn't know what that was a career as an actor I don't know how people did that yeah right there was a rapper in my high school yeah exactly exactly but being an actor I was like I don't know he said I think you're very talented he actually used the word I think you're gifted and he said I'd be very curious if you follow the path what's so sweet is I've heard you talk about this the power of someone telling you you're gifted especially a young person those words in particular stayed with me to the point that I was taking classes off campus at the Walnut Street Theater school cuz I didn't want anybody to like steal my joy to be honest I was like oh I want to take some more classes and so I would take them at night after I was at Temple University I take take a couple classes invisibly I had this secret I wanted to be an actor but everything about me wasn't set up to be an actor I thought I wasn't cool I didn't think I was much to look at so I thought I don't want anybody to say I can't do it and then I moved to California soon after to San Francisco cuz I wanted to start a theater which is what I did really quick though can we add in moving to San Francisco from Philly instead of moving to New York to pursue theater it was all a life choice one of my closest buddies guy tally he moved to San Francisco he was like oh my God you're going to love it you should come out here I had another year to go in school but I was struggling because my parents just moved I was working two jobs my college was being paid for by me and grants and stuff and I couldn't maintain so I was going to take a semester off I was said well I'll come out to San Francisco for a while so there were three guys living in a studio apartment in the tender district and you're like wow this a city dude yeah so I moved to San Francisco and I thought really maybe just for like a semester a year and then go back to school and I fell in love it wasn't particularly because I was gay but I was like I need to move away from home to become this other thing gay can also represent people are going there to live out loud who they are for the first time forget the sexual component just people are going there to finally be who they are I think that's exactly it everything about San Francisco especially in the early 90s it percolated with politics and becoming a part of something and it's history of radical fairies and queer culture and Angela Davis I'm like yeah I want to go there there felt like infinite possibility to transform and become something else I started to plant the seeds of the person that's sitting across from you I became less shy I became more in my body I was doing holistic Retreats I was running around naked at Harbin Hot Springs I was doing massage I had grew my hair out I was skinny I start to believe I was hot you know what I mean what a summer cuz before I was wearing baggy clothes and trying to hide next you know I'm like n this is actually good I look back now I'm like I had a nice little twink body yeah yeah yeah yeah highly marketable I was pretty hot back then I didn't know it though isn't it funny cuz you never know when we look back we oh I wasn't so bad I know I was like oh I got a terrible body were you thin yeah I was thin and I want to be bigger I thought I had a gut I see pictures I didn't have a gut the same thing I look back I'm like this guy's great he's 6'2 you like he was fine he was a good looking kid right you do the same thing oh yeah yeah sometimes it's still like we all have pict of me too I do see some that reconfirm what I thought yeah I have pictures from yesterday where exactly of course Curr it always sucks it is good to cling on to that though maybe if you don't like something now in 10 years I'm probably going to look back and think it looks great yeah so just deal with it it's funny cuz I don't know why I'm talking about this but when people are changing their body so quickly when they're young I'm like give yourself a chance to grow into that nose it could be your superpower oh no totally I kind of had a breakthrough I was on a TV show Parenthood for six years and my father on the show is Craig T Nelson you know Craig te Nelson yeah I do I'm like watching myself when the show airs I'm like my God I can't believe they let me on TV I should not be dating that girl in the show this is a mixup but then at one point I'm looking at Craig te Nelson and I decide to look at him objectively the way I look at myself and I'm like yeah he's got big nose yeah his chin is this he's balding and I'm like oh yeah I don't see that I see Craig T Nelson this man is a [ __ ] Aura he's a spirit he's a thing he's specific and I like it and I am not looking at anything other than him and his totality and I'm very attracted to it and I was like yeah man you got to get there you're just this thing and you're uniquely the thing and you're projecting a thing I bet Craig team melson grew into that too yeah we're all human I'm sure he didn't just look in the mirror go yeah I'm the dude from polter guys when he was 15 when do you move to New York from San Francisco cuz I could see you making a whole life there and never leaving I moved from Philadelphia to San Francisco I was in San Francisco for 10 years 10 years you did like Nash Bridges and a little bit I played every idiot on Nash Bridges that was the only game in town you played multiple roles I did I came back every season with a different role and always always some dumb criminal doing something stupid kidnapping Don Johnson's daughter or something I was working out in a Coogi sweater you got to watch the episode yeah oh my God Customs fantastic but I was doing lots of regional theater and then I did everything I needed to do in San Francisco and it gave me a lot of really great gifts but I thought you know when you open up like the Samuel French plays and they show you the First cast and usually they're done at the public theater or the vineyard or something like that in New York I'm like I want to be there I want to do the first one here I am in San Francisco doing the third fourth production I want to be literally in the room where it happens originating it the room where it happens I know right a little Li Miranda there little Hamilton and so I moved to New York and I moved to New York at 35 something like that and were you having any stress about I should have already been a lead of something at this age were you having age stress I think I had age stress around 40 something a good 10 years ago it's not one of those stories of lore but it's true I was actually going to really leave the business cuz I thought I did everything I was supposed to do and now I was in my mid-40s and I thought this doesn't make any sense anymore I'm still living like I was 25 doing job to job I was succeeding to I was actually doing Broadway shows and being nominated for Tony's and going to the West End and I would always come back and thought like I was starting at zero and then I would pick up bartending shifts and I just thought it's not practical it doesn't make sense cuz I have friends who are attorneys and business people they have vacation homes yeah I'm still you know in my rent stabilized Department in Hell Kitchen hustling and I start look at the future this was about 43 44 and I thought I don't know if I can keep doing this I remember was a terrible couple weeks of constantly auditioning and auditioning and not getting anywhere and I just felt like I wasn't useful or anybody wanted what I was selling and I was like you know what I think I'm good I literally had a breakdown at a gym I don't know the real medical of a nervous breakdown but I felt like that's what I had or panic attack or something but it felt like a life attack of me making a breakthrough and a change and so I remember I went home and I was so distraught and I asked my husband said are you okay if I took a swing and did something else cuz I used to have this photography business on the side where I would do everyone's head shots I would do yours yeah i' be like if head shot usually cost 800 bucks i' charge you 400 I was undercutting and making a lot of money you know I was killing it so anyway so I really thought I would keep doing that and eventually have a portrait studio all that stuff that was my plan I had an Exit Plan cuz I thought like this makes sense and I have to depend on myself New York I there for 16 years and as you say you were in some hit musicals you were on Broadway it wasn't like I wasn't successful you're in a Spike Lee movie this is after I was in Lincoln with Spielberg this is after all of that if I were you I was thinking like yeah I got the shot and it's not turning into a sustainable life yeah I start to stack up working with all these people sod Berg Spielberg Ava deer you name it Lee Daniels and I was still making scale I still had to keep a bartending job somewhere yeah you're woring about your insurance am I going to make my sag Insurance minimums and [ __ ] I'm start to worry about being a grownup this part of the life as artist is really challenging for me and I just felt like I need to make another decision I know people who keep going with that and that's fine too but for me I was like I don't know if my heart can take it I felt like I was starting to become hardened in this industry and I thought I would rather not I start to become that person than I was they're not going to ever pay me they're not going to give me that role and that's the truth because that's the way it was and so I had to dismantle all of it and then suddenly through a series of events of changing managers changing agents pretty quickly everything changed but also I don't even think it was just my team team I think it was me I changed I would say no I'm not available for that audition because I've got to go do this that's important for my life oh they want you to drop everything and fly to LA and test for this I'm not available I can do it on Thursday but I have something that's important to my life on Wednesday so I sto doing that running around dropping everything and so I think there is an extraordinary power in no let's just say I think universally desperation is not attractive no it's not sexy at all no one likes it and it's hard to shake you are desperate the reality is I'm in a one-bedroom apartment in Santa Monica I'm walking into auditions I'm [ __ ] this Miller Light commercial is going to Make It or Break It for the year for me and they feel it and you can't even hide it it's all over your body yeah it's your pheromones are leaking this desperation and then it's a mental trick and you go I don't need it anymore and all of a sudden you enter the room differently you enter the room differently because you enter the room only with your work and the way you value yourself and they see it but also don't you think you have to at some point divorce yourself from the way how can I say this cuz you just had me thinking about some people that I would walk in the room with they were not as welcoming or supportive or nurturing they sort of treated you like [ __ ] or treated you just like another person or you're sitting in the lobby of an audition and you literally hear the assistant calling in everybody else for the role that you're auditioning for you can hear them making the same Choice you're about to make yeah and also you're like or I remember walking into one network and I literally saw everyone's head shot it was a horrible thing head every who you're sitting there you're like why would they do this to me so it was so psychologically undering and literally I start to say to my agent that I used to have I said you know I'm cool with not going in there anymore if they want me I'll do a self tape I started to put in some boundaries where I had some self-respect left I don't want to walk in already feeling like [ __ ] and be confirmed that I'm not [ __ ] and then not get the [ __ ] roll I'll tell you this cuz it's a terrible story but after an audition and this one casting director was not kind or warm and I literally looked her in the eye started heading out I took the sides crumbled them up threw them in the trash and walked out and I said I don't ever have to go into that office again I deserve to be treated better if I'm going to give my heart and be vulnerable and give my work work that I've prepared for maybe 8 hours for no fee yeah and I come in and I deliver and you can't even be kind I don't need to be here so I started to make those decisions that's when I knew I need to be out of this business yeah yeah yeah it just reminded me when you were saying that octavus Spencer has a great thing where she says thank them honey will you come back no but thank them honey hers is thank them honey I try to lock that in that's it thank it's that simple would we label one of these projects as the Breakthrough is it fear of Walking Dead can I tell you my experience with you what's your experience with me breaking through yes I've been in AA for 20 years so I watch Euphoria with a specific eye love it can't believe how good the show is and then you arrive live and I'm like I know this dude from the rooms this dude's in the program you're so stunning in that role thank you truly I'm like get the [ __ ] out this guy who just showed up I haven't met him yet you know everyone's established you're in a diner with her and I'm like please talk for three more hours new character I want to hear everything you got to say the way you're dealing with her I think there's this tendency to play all sobriety story lines is really sacran and [ __ ] lofty and emotional and it's not that it's Bare Bones cut the [ __ ] this is how it is I'm this way too [ __ ] it we're going to laugh at this it was spot on there was something that Sam levenson my show own writer director gave me he would place people who were actually in the program around me whether it was Marsha in that Diner scene she's got this one little scene where we talk to her I'm like Miss Mara and she turn around she's someone who's been in recovery for like I believe 17 years Mara and I we became friends you would tell me the wildest story got good stories wild story wild I'm like wild yeah you want some stories and she would tell them in such a sobering Manner and she's said listen to way she tells stories watch her her life experience I'd never been in recovery I'm sure I'm addicted to something cuz we all are it's all relative Sam had written it with such empathy and Clarity and just very natural I'm going to that one Diner episode which was really just Zen and I talking yeah cuz I put myself in my own rehearsal for because I understood when I got the text oh you're talking for an hour this is something where it just has to be in my bones and it has to be listening and responding there's no real performative nature to this in the reality of who you're playing this will have been the 13,000 time you've told this to somebody because you're working with people daily they all have the same problems and you know it and you got to look and just be honest there's no sacr attached to it no in that episode in particular which is why it was so potent was at the end of Co it was the first job back to work and so even all the protocols and everything we're just so nervous and we're just so glad to be there and so I feel like all of that went into you're probably taking your mask off right before action and now two humans get to talk which is rare we have that value attached to it like my God I can talk to somebody I feel like we're doing the work that we wanted the world to do after our summer of racial Reckoning can we just sit and be honest with each other and not blow the [ __ ] up can we just bear our souls to each other and just hold that for each other it's one of the most beautiful episodes also at the core that's Sam levenson and his questions about the world and you had done his movie prior I did assassination Nation yeah when I interview actors I think there's a lot of tells and when they have repeat business with people like you did three spiky things Sam has you on a movie then he brings you in for this thing I think that says more than any words could I think you're right you're good to work with you proved I can count on you and all I'm trying to do is figure out what problem I make go away when I'm directing so great I got Coleman here that's done there's a list of directors that that I know all you got to do is call I don't even even know what the role is it doesn't [ __ ] matter just call me I want to be in your mind I want to play on your sets I've told a couple directors I worked with like you do a Pizza Hut Commercial I'm in those residuals too you want to do an industrial about [ __ ] air condition units I'm there if you're there really the industrial I'm going to elevate you a bit more not the industrial if Mike Judge does an industrial I'll go back I promise if AO does an industrial I'll do it God did you start out doing Industrials I haven't done an industrial since the do they even exist anymore do they kaer perante and stuff like that like when I'm playing a doctor I did want it was the lowest point of my career it was like as Am Pm commercial do you know amm gas St absolutely they're like wwas yeah yeah it's not a commercial that's going to be on TV it's going to play in amms in the TV in the corner and the director's walking me through he like oh great now you're going to make yourself a slurpie great they're filming I'm making a slurpie great you take a sip of it oh you love it it's a great Sy all right now we're at the hot dog machine you make the hot dog go and put some ketchup mustard on great you can't wait to eat it but then you think you know what I'm going to play this hot dog like a harmonica Coleman this is reality look up and I go so I make the hot dog and I think I'm GNA play this hot dog like a harmonica and he goes yeah it's GNA be great and I I was like here we go and I started playing a goddamn hot dog like harmonica and my soul caught on fire and who was the director the director was Pike Jes was uh in Ru so yeah I see you in that now I notice you everywhere right then I'm watching be Street and I go like oh [ __ ] that's my dude I've been like squirely for years and nobody could put together that it was actually me which is kind of cool it's a real Testament to you too and then weirdly enough for me still having seen Euphoria having seen Beal having seen we had in some people for the color purple even in that interview I said you were my favorite part of that movie and I'm like oh my God again that's the dude and then learning about who you were personally today enormous departure what are you talking about a skinny kid shy list gay all these things you're literally a chameleon like you can be anything none of the you was seeping through but I then got curious so I watched Sing Sing two nights ago oh wow [ __ ] loved it thank you you do something that's just so rare and special I mean really man what a beautiful dude you are it's overwhelming so in saying you're playing a convict you're a convict who's also working in this program this RTD program and you're a playwright and you're an actor and you're compassionate and you're leading with love and you're breaking through to these dudes and I was thinking ironically this is probably the character that might most touch who you are I think you might be right there's a little slight of hand that's happening because I think the character that I was conscious of building that is based on someone who was wrongfully convicted of a crime that could be me who had aspirations when he was a kid of being a dancer but it's sort of gotten beaten out of him because he had to fight in tough streets on the inside he really did educate himself in such an extraordinary way he pretty much can be an attorney and he's a real dude a real dude John Divine G Whitfield and he's with us still oh yeah he's with us he's actually in the film he plays the guy who comes up with the book and who says hey I've been a fan of yours no way that's a little Cameo there I got to know him and he's just a cool dude a sweet guy and I felt like the idea of creating someone a character that still has Sweetness in there and to try to protect that and then be the leader of a program that is about healing well I'm getting emotional thing about this but the idea that in this dark space that is not really set up for your Rehabilitation you are being a revolutionary by coming together with these men vulnerability is wearly the bravest thing that can be done it's an act of Disobedience it's a trip it's Insanity to try to expose your vulnerabilities to people who are potentially going to pre on you and so when you know that about a character you know how to play it and you have to bring something a little closer to you and that vulnerability to shine through I was shooting that movie in between the color purple and Rustin actually oh really I was doing Color Purple when we were like H we're trying to find dates to do it and I'm like I have 18 days before I go back to pickup shots for Rusty and they're like we'll take them I'm like no we can't do it that but then I thought it felt right and I was already in a state coming off of Color Purple by the time I went to singing I was I think in a bit more of a raw state that I think was required I couldn't even do my work in my prep work the way I'm used to doing it of knowing everything and detailing and all that but I had to be in this other Flex State yeah you're used to control you like control I do I'm a research fiend and I feel like when I know a lot then I can liberate myself but guess what happens when you go to prison all your control is out the window yes so it's ideal sometimes life intervenes in these ways with roles I that's exactly it in the gift of a role or an experience as a creative I think a lot of times if you really look at it's brought to you when you really need it I know and I don't believe in anything yet I can't deny that that happens constantly I needed this experience at this time I had to be in a movie with a guy and we play arch nemesis in the movie and he auditioned and I straight up hated him again back to the rich thing I knew he was a rich kid he wanted to be off some great thing he was a part of he seemed entitled I didn't like him told the director I'm like I don't want to spend two months with that dude sat on it for a day I'm like I also don't ever want to be a part of someone not getting something so I got to take that back minimally for that cut to day two I fall in love with the dut he becomes one of my best friends but I've had that this is good though because literally I had a meeting with someone recently and this person everything about him was privileged and everything about him was like I don't like this dude and it turned me into the guy that I know know I can be sometimes where I'm like oh you think you're smart so you're a little [ __ ] so I fled up you know what I mean I was like I [ __ ] hate this dude but his work was actually really beautiful and I was like how did you make this work but you're also a privileged little dick right almost by the way on the other I'm mad at you I'm down with your work then I'm mad at myself yeah I keep watching this thing you did I hate your [ __ ] Gus but God you're good at it well it's life dude so I hated rich people growing up well lo and behold on a rich person I have kids that are growing up rich and what's crazy now is now I think I'm actually more impressed with Rich Kids who end up doing good work in a movie they didn't have to that's true I was hungry I wanted all the [ __ ] I was driven so weirdly I'm now on the other side where it's like I'll meet someone who grew up Ben Platt his dad is Mark platty own Wicked This dude should be a lazy [ __ ] he's out on Broadway ripping his chest open He's Got Talent like a [ __ ] though yes but in drive and pass I weird go like I'm not triggered that that grew up on a private I'm actually blown away I am I'm making I'm making room for all Lely yes but you know actually now I find that more impressive he didn't have to do [ __ ] so I don't know every time you get to hop into anyone's shoes you start just seeing a little different so what was the outcome though of you with the privilege dude whose work you couldn't deny I don't know yet you'll probably fall in love with him I recommend going to Starbucks soon as you get there that could be a r breakthrough that's what happened for us everything he saying was triggering to me and I don't know why but it just felt that he was so removed from certain experiences I have very wealthy friends but I feel that there's some commonality they show me their heart and their pain in some way but I felt like this person was looking at everything as an anthropological study yeah so how did you do that and you're like [ __ ] work my ass off how do you think anything happened so that was me I felt like a dick when we were having this meal together I was like why am I being a dick cuz he's wearing his wealth in such a way and I'm like I've got money now too right let me talk about my money my turn my turn my turn could you imagine I'm just back from a very long trip to Europe with my husband it is interesting what gets us though yeah it's telling you know I have some billionaire friends the first thing I always try to do is like I'm buying lunch I'm buying dinner I'm going to let you know that your money means nothing to me I'm not here for that yet I will take a week at your home with a butler I'll take that but I'm buying dinner land and you're playing we're stopping at McDonald's and that's on me that's on me don't you try to put out your credit card at Mickey let's balance the power here exactly the true statement now is that in that audition with that guy I don't know what he thought he was at that time I was like he thinks he's better than everyone he's entitled he's blah blah blah the truth is his presence made me feel less than I felt less than which is my problem yeah I don't now feel less than and it's not cuz I got money I don't feel less than anymore so those people magically they don't trigger me anymore I wonder why this guy triggered me let's have dinner tonight are annoying there are I didn't felt less than I just felt like I didn't like the way he was there was something I don't know let me be more specific I don't even know that I felt less than in that moment but it reminded me of a time when I definitely felt less than which is growing up he made me feel like I was an other yeah and I think that's the thing because he felt move from my experience in some way I don't walk through the world that way I feel like I have common language with anybody yeah you can relate to anyone I think so cuz also it's about being curious about people a myriad of people can be sitting in this room it's my job to find out what connects us if you're looking at someone like oh so you're tall white tattoo what's that life what's that life did you grow up in a single white trailer yes I did exactly almost like he's studying you or something it felt weird it felt awkward that's it but again like total benefit of now God knows what he felt like you might represent authenticity and he might be feeling fraudulent so people have different levels of social skills that's what I try to notice now I'm like maybe they're just not good at that you're very good at it you're very good at connecting you're very personable you're easy to talk to I think you take that for granted because that's just who you are and that's the way you go through life but a lot of people are lot people rough on the edges yeah and are hard and they struggle with how to communicate and be social maybe that's it maybe you just couldn't do it you know I'm walking in there big Hollywood good star gorgeous long legs load booty shorts on I mean it was intimidating maybe that was me yeah could have been you I love the way we reinterpret it now like it was all me you're theck I think we decided you're theck I'm the dick actually at the table I was the dick at lunch it's important to know who's the dick yeah yeah yeah it's hard to know one breakthrough moment I had is I was directing a movie my mom was doing craft service it was very lowbudget Family Affair and there was a PA on the thing and he was objectively had a terrible personality and we would come home every night and my mom would just unload about how condescending this kid was to her all day long so condescending and I just had this moment where I thought oh you know what's funny is I had title of director it's been established I am the boss there I'm number one so when that kid was being condescending to me it was easy for me to see he's got a terrible personality he certainly doesn't think he's above me we all know I'm at the top of this pyramid and I was like oh wow that's kind of a breakthrough same personality but if I weren't director yeah it would driven me crazy like it drove my mom crazy cuz she thought oh this kid thinks he's above me I'm craft service blah blah blah which is all our own story but just the dumb title of director made me just see oh this guy just has a bad Personality yeah it's not fun at parties probably don't have a lot of friends no one wants to date them that's where it ended right right right cuz I was director and I was like you got to walk through life and just convince yourself you're director and everyone's thing is just their thing that's a great way to put it but also that's a very generous way to put it as well too it's just like no you just have a [ __ ] personality and I'm more evolved it's not personal you're going to act this way to everybody not just me yeah what's the real history of the sing sing Story there's a AR program that started as sing sing I'm just ballparking like 10 years ago but it really is a rehabilitation through the arts program this guy Brent bule and a lot of members founded it but they started at sing saying of like putting on plays and I think the intention was not only put on plays but eventually what the idea of the practice of this does research teamwork putting your feet in someone else's shoes expressing emotion it became a tool for rehabilitation by the way I have all these sides to myself I would never show anyone cuz that's too dangerous but I get to do it as a character so I'm safe I have distance you can explore all of it and so they found that it's been a really great program and actually there's a less than 3% reincarceration rate amongst people who go through that program Wow versus I think the number of ISM hard word is in the 60s or 7 it's high very high this program works how did it come to you it came to me by the director Greg quedar and Clint Bentley they did the movie jockey a few years ago it was a beautiful film I saw that but also my agents were like oh I think you would really like these two guys they said they wanted to meet with you at some point they had this idea that they've been wrestling with for years but they hadn't figured it out and I was like can we set up a meeting I'm like cool let's set up a meeting why not so we had a zoom honestly they seem like almost too nice sure supicious I was like nobody's not nice embarassing that kind surely not in Hollywood so I was like okay but I suspicious they were like talking about what they wanted to do and why this program was important and all that and I was like okay two lovely white guys let's see what you're going to do and then they even talked about the model that they wanted to build this film off of of like making sure it's a community- based model we wanted to involve some members of the RTA that was formerly incarcerated in here as actors as co-writers and also make sure they also participate and success when it comes to building the equity and everything so the whole model was really like hm really you're going to be that generous you actually putting your money where your M full and kind about all of it truly in practice and they've never failed so far all the way through well one of the coolest parts of the movie the movie on itself is fantastic I would say there's two really predominant reasons but then you get to the end you're seeing footage of the real plays which is so heartwarming and then you're going through the credits and we find out virtually everyone in the mov save a few of you are the dudes from RTA so cool and you're seeing them as himself as himself as himself and then the cherry on the cake is like [ __ ] yeah these dudes got to be in a movie after all this a lot of them are producers on it it's really cool so the two things that are overwhelming about it are your performance and then who's your co-star Clarence Divine I Macklin what a name my goodness tell me about him so really quick the premise we meet you you're kind of the leader of this group you write you help direct you really connect with people side note Monica you'll love this just watching them do the dumb acting exercises you do and your K everyone get up and move your body we're walking in a circle now you're walking like a doing this it really brought me back to those exercises and I was like yeah this Pursuit is cool you got to get up and embarrass yourself and make yourself vulnerable but also to make yourself vulnerable in a maximum security PR it's kind of wild and then you meet Clarence Divine i m his character based on a version of himself who was a [ __ ] starter he's there [ __ ] dudes up he's driving in that was his path there they wanted to get some new members for a play and they thought oh this guy is a performer he's got all these attributes it's kind of cool and then you don't even know that this dude actually quotes Shakespeare he's actually really smart so we invite him to join the group he comes and checks it out and becomes a bit of a superstar but then he also has to fold himself into this group and sort of the ethos of the group and how do we protect it and make sure that this is a safe space to do this work he's having a real hard time taking the armor off yes and Coleman's character penetrates him in this most beautiful way you guys have a dust up and he calls you the nword at the end you've been taking it on the chin taking it on the chin you've been acquiescent you're trying to cool him down and deescalate and he says that and then you go hey we don't use that in here it's beloved they don't use the nword they're like we call each other Beloved the idea calling another man beloved in that place I mean that's re one sentence of the movie yeah I was like oh godamn to call someone beloved so wait that actor oh he's fantastic isn't he he's outrageous has he been in a lot of stuff no this is his first film he was really in yeah he was in s sing he went through the system and he's been out for years and doing incredible work with youth where he lives in Connecticut when Greg said we have an idea of someone who could be your co-star he went through the program we met and immediately it was fire we were like oh we can create many things for this and so we thought about the themes of Brotherhood I'm like no these two should be at odds and they should build to realizing they need each other I cannot believe that's his first movie because I was watching at first he's so authentically a bad [ __ ] his Swagger the way he walks around I feel like he's been ready for this for a long time he always says that he's so glad that he found this cuz it really has been sort of a life preser especially finding himself as an actor he needed this Outlet he's like if I had this Outlet before I went in would have never been in Oprah said in an interview everything that has built me as Oprah Winfrey in some way I'm paraphrasing is the same stuff where I could have been an incredible criminal it's the same mindset because you're so smart and you know how to work systems in many ways so it is that gift he was been given obviously this is the intention of the movie but you can't help but see it and think oh yeah we've got 2 million people sitting in cement boxes in the country and look a lot of them need to be there it's not safe for them to not be there and to hurt other people given that do we need to make it hell for them there do we need to be punitive do we need to remove them to keep people safe or are we there to make them suffer and be punitive and get revenge because I think we all know enough that there's a lot of predictable events in people's life that put them there so they already had the [ __ ] end of the stick in childhood which has landed them there and now they're there and should we just keep ratcheting the [ __ ] screws on all these people or should we attempt to help them find some Humanity in this impossible situation it it does feel like it's available to those who are ready for it and say help me be better and I need tools I think that's what RTA provides they look at it as something sacred you can't just easily get into RTA Clarence will tell you he had to not have any infractions for a solid year before he can get in there he had to do the work say I'm ready to be there cuz I need this I'm going to respect it and value it because it's something I want to change my life yeah stay tuned for more armchair expert if you [Music] dare I guess a better way for me to say it is when you see these people get to experience this little sliver of humanity and compassion and connection and vulnerability what you can't deny is all right they actually need it more than anybody absolutely yeah it's very moving it's fantastic thank you you've written a lot of stuff too you're a playright you've had a lot of stuff produced very impressive you're going to do Nat King Cole eventually yes that'll happen hopefully in another year or so I think that that's been pushed back a little just so we can build it the right way and you're playing Joe Jackson yeah in Michael yeah Antoine Anto fuka yeah when's that start we wrapped that oh you already did it oh I did it that was Joe Jackson and everything EXA can't wait to see your Joe Jackson you want to see what I look like yes I'll give you a sneak peek here yes yes you've been so busy you've been thing after thing after thing it's been a real auspicious time you had great frustration but now on the other side do you feel gratitude it happened later for you the things were always going to happen when they're supposed to happen I was just attached to being a working Act to be honest there was no way I could predict this success or even dream about it I don't know what that says about me did I have a limited imagination but I just thought I want to be a working actor and work on things that were important to me so wa in that while I mean dude I'm not sure I would know it was you definitely not oh my God isn't it wild what do you feel like when you would look in the mirror in your trailer wow does that look do all the work for you almost you have Prosthetics can I say something dicey you look lot lighter in that well he is lighter he is right so you would have full light lighter skin the makeup team and the Prosthetics team they did killer jobs I can't overact that I just have to let that happen you know what I mean you're like now I need to dial it back a little bit because that is uh that's a lot the look is doing a lot of the lifting for you did he make you box box isn't that Antoine's thing he makes the actor box he didn't make me box I'm sure he boxes I mean his body's ripped yeah yeah I think he's had many of the actors in the past box well now jealous yeah if I were you I might have a chip I'm going to call like why didn't I box why wasn't I good enough to box what do you think about what's your stereotype about me also I'm rich [ __ ] Rich I'm on my way to eat a very pricey meal I'm on my way to Air1 I SP $100 on a drink exactly well [ __ ] Coleman I'm so delighted that I got to meet you in person I'm such an enormous fan and I'm so excited that you're going to get to do all this stuff now thanks man and you're going to just stick around cuz you're so [ __ ] great this has been really lovely just like kicking them with you guys oh good you're wonderful you live in New York no I live here oh you do yeah you know I still give off New York I think that's what it is how long have you lived here 9 years really do you miss New York no you got a yard served my time I have a house in southeast LA and I just bought a house in Malibu so I like a peaceful existence I was plugged into the New York life for many years years it's like being on coke for a decade that's exactly it being on speed actually I literally lived at 43rd 9th Avenue you're plugged in you walk out of your house and well yeah I was tell people yeah I walked out of my building and something had happened I don't like that anymore I'm 54 I want to control my environment like I wake up early and go for walks [ __ ] weather's nice you don't have to wear 10 layers dinner parties short shorts half the year I got an invitation to go have a dinner at a farm you don't get that in New York no you it's a far lovely oh high why not you know what I mean it's that life now well [ __ ] if you're in La I can't wait to bump into you I'm going to be on high alert now yeah man well Coleman great meeting you everyone see sing sing and then everyone see Michael I think everyone will have the joy IA it was like once you fall in love with you you're like oh right that was him there he is too look over here so enjoy that ride be welcome back thank you I appreciate you Z thank you Monica I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode but we'll find out when my mom Mrs Monica comes in and tells us what was [Music] wrong okay so we're going to start this fact check with some updates for you guys yes we're going to Loop you in I see in the comments people have some Curiosities about our new deal at wry of course and so nothing's changing that's the big headline wherever you listen to our show and however you listen to it you will continue to listen to it just as you prefer to listen to it so that's the most important thing for armchair expert for armchair we are making some changes which we will also talk about right now but yes for armchair expert you can listen absolutely anywhere you currently listen y but but you're getting three really rad new offerings one is of course which we've already talked about video so we'll have video fact checks yes and then we will have video experts and that brings us to the next change which is instead of having wait two days between Monday and experts now it'll be Wednesday so now you can go every other day so Monday celebrity Wednesday expert Friday we party hard blow it out with armchair Anonymous yeah and then third and this one excites me truly the most you can now listen to the show starting September 1st you can join wandry plus and you can listen to the show completely ad free yes and a week early so these are all just I think think fun wonderful add-ons that are going to just make armchair elevated it that much better yes I agree yeah you have the option for ad free if you pay for wry plus you get the the episodes a week early that's awesome there'll be a period of time where you can try this all out for free as well which is exciting yep yep and for the other shows we are making some changes because we're of the move our other umbrella shows will not be on this feed which means you won't be naturally placed into your pocket basically right so you're going to have to go and subscribe to synced independently and subscribe to flightless independently exactly if you want to uh remain with those shows and you can start that when can they start that hopefully by the following week week from today I mean we'll have it up before September 1st it's not gonna be up by Monday I got you I got you I got you okay by the 26th before they leave the AR Universe we will have new feeds up so I really strongly strongly urge you to go ahead and search out synced and flightless And subscribe to those and they'll come through independently to you there is going to be some changes with flightless bird if you want to hear about those you'll go listen to flightless bird you'll hear about those sync is going to move to Thursdays great we'll take that spot yeah um in case you guys do like having every day you'll have something every day so yeah just go just type it in you just type in sync uh s y n c d you'll you'll continue to get that you'll subscribe there or I type synced to you often you spell it wrong every time do I yeah which worries me a little bit which is why we should it's s y n c e d you add an H I do that's not how it's spelled huh no no h wow why do I add an h and why does CCH yeah that would be cinch i n c h e d i weirdly know how to spell cinched I I think a few other people have spelled it wrong too so it's not just you but even getting to the first two letters are always a struggle for me I always wanted to I think sync is spelled Psy like psychology yes I have to strongly fight the urge to type PSY and often I start by typing Psy that's interesting weird right sync sounds psychological and it is well it is and it is and it is and reminder we do fun stuff over there we chitchat Liz and I Liz Plank and I it's a party it's really fun we answer fun questions from um listeners which is great I'm occasionally a guest I pop your opinions in there yeah I bowl through like a loud entitled mail and drop some opinions and that you've done that always by invitation always By Invitation that is absolutely correct and you're always invited um but anyway yeah so those so those are our updates and now we'll sort of get into our regular nothing Fe only bonus stuff coming in this new phase yeah okay so now we're going to move into our regular programming programming our house keeping is now concluded okay great we just had a very exciting first impression first look first look of the new video recording space it looks really good Rob put it together and it looks incredible and there's lots of treats and pop outs very Rob with the thoughtful gifts so we each have our own corner of the new space yeah and you have your own corner and inside of it is a a cute little cartoon of tailor writing a sandwich well that's a PL that's a celebrities on sandwiches account uhhuh um I love that that like sent he sent us a ton I I ordered the Dax one yeah cuz there's one of you there's one of Kristen okay I didn't even know I was one like that wasn't done just for us that's an existing bit of art they did I have Donald Glover on a sandwich in my kitchen right now oh my gosh for years I feel anointed that I was included you should be it's a big yeah and you're a chili dog I think oh yeah they try to make it to the sandwich that the person loves yeah I mean there's debate on whether hot dogs a sandwich we won't get caught up on that sure sure sure wow wow wow there's a new painting mhm we should save that okay that's A's few Easter egg and some people really because Lincoln had entered with her drawing of the Ted seers people really were mad I didn't post it well guess what that's now on display there it is behind me yeah in my corner yeah and you have a corner and I have a corner it was really cool it's cool it's going to be um and you're scared we're scared we're scared I'm scared but I'm in acceptance mode uhhuh yeah yeah sometimes you just got to accept the life you have that's right and be grateful for it be so grateful for it but also I I do think sometimes sometimes I I mean I do have so much gratitude but sometimes I bucket that a tiny bit because I think trying to be delicate okay be delicate take your time I think sometimes take your socks off when I am it's hot yeah take it there we go I was teasing but you really did need to take those off iow I knew intuitively that you needed to get rid of those they're also a 1-in sock for The Listener so it's not like it was a wool sock up to the knees it was a one inch sock their bomas is no longer a sponsor but would love for them to return because I do love that we're still with them even though they've deserted us exactly we're still loyal it's a it's a nice thick sock though it's a great walking sock yeah and that's what I did I walked yes so I needed a thick sock anyway I think sometimes we can Short change our feelings a little bit actual feelings because we're just like well I should just I should be grateful I need to have gratitude just forget it right and and that's not really I think it's evolved and cool but I actually don't think it's effective because your feelings are still there they stick around yeah and then they just keep bubbling and bubbling so you really have to have real peace and acceptance I think before you can have gratitude well we have to well as I've been told you have to invite them in observe them experience them and then move on yeah yeah exactly yeah is that what ex what you already were saying do you feel like I no I think that was sort of similar yeah you're just supposed to observe your feelings you're not supposed to ignore them yeah and you're not supposed to indulge them you're just supposed to observe them yeah I feel this way yeah and I won't feel this way forever and uh and I think for me it's good to know like why I feel it and that's it okay well long story short when we were down there we did a little test fire of all the cameras yes and then we almost got into a fact check yeah we had to stop ourselves and so we already earmarked some stuff before this even started mhm and one of them is delayed gratification I was asked to remind you and now I'm doing that okay all right so a couple nights ago I stayed up till 3:00 a.m. okay naughty girl yeah uhoh well first of all I couldn't sleep and then I thought what should I do about this I'm going to take matters into my own hands I'm going to watch TV a little bit sure which is what they say not to do you know well I've heard different things the one I'm in favor of is like fighting it makes it worse yeah enjoy it okay I'm up let's watch TV or read something fun exactly and stop thinking about the fact that you're supposed to be sleeping and that'll generally lead to sleep yeah I think reading would be better the best yeah I don't think they think light is good for Sleep blue they they love blue light for sleep they like red light yeah I know I know they hate do they they like red light right that's like a thing they hate blue light with your TV primarily I guess or your device my device it was a computer uh oh you were watch why would you watch on your so this is where we're heading okay now I'm actually reluctant to even say this because I feel her off personally offended that none of these people have been on the show so it's I I don't want to shout it out but I can't not I love only murders in the building so much yes yes and I I always have but they're also a sponsor so we can you can shout them out and good yeah we read an ad for it so that's good this is also just it's I love it I just love it and the fourth season's coming out mhm and I got sent the screenies and I told myself I wasn't going to watch them cuz I love it so much and I want watch it real time it comes out at the end of August I think so soon mhm but then when I was killing time yeah at midnight yeah I was like maybe I should just put on an episode uh oh okay okay I can see the slippery slope yeah I want to add one thing too while we're talking about it because we had been watching the boys ahead of schedule uhhuh uh one of our favorite shows on Amazon we had screeners and then we had started one on that streaming device where you can watch things early and all of a sudden I was like oh I actually I think it's out now like I think it's actually now out and I think all of them are out so we went over to I'm like let's go over to the real feed on Amazon and the quality is infinitely better cuz you're always getting a non-color corrected not fully sound mixed yeah and it's fine cuz you love the show but there's a huge leap up once it goes to broadcast yes yeah that show on screeners I've watched where they don't even have special effects yet so there was that like penish where she goes inside it that was just like what it looked like on set oh oh interesting that's kind of cool that's like BTS mhm um anyway so I started it okay and I watched it all oh I watched the whole thing I went to bed at like 315 you watched it all in one sitting yeah wa congrats except two things that's like I just want to say to parallel it with drugs that's like that's a rack smoking night that's like not just snorting we're g to we're going to Dance with the Devil tonight it felt like it it felt and then at like 1:30 in the middle of my my binge I went and I ate a bunch of pretzels oh wow I don't even like pretzels little rat I I I was I was it was like a midlife crisis kind of okay your parents had just left or they were about to leave they they left that day they left that morning yeah interesting so maybe I felt like I'm a kid again I'm a naughty kid on my own now get out of your parents I'll watch TV till cream at 4 a.m. yeah I'm I'm going to reclaim myself as my own person maybe that is why probably not um um well the timing is interesting they left and then you couldn't go to sleep maybe well I have not I've not been sleeping well at all so it's not new but but also I think I am I was sad that they left okay great I mean not great but yes also great yeah I do feel like better than being happy they left yeah when they left I felt like oh that was really nice and grounding actually yeah so then they left and so maybe that maybe that did play a part in it I don't know yeah anyway I watched all the screeners but they did me dirty do you know about did me dirty yeah okay yeah okay it's hard to know but yes I do know what being done dirty is okay well I'm just trying to figure out where we separate mhm yeah that's smart for the most part unfortunately we don't separate that much yeah and I unfortunately for me well I was going to say in an even meaner probably more accurate critique would be like I'm a little better than my age oh no and you're a little worse than your age dad why are you doing this I didn't know I mean I think that's the actual facts god I think I'm a little more dialed in than most 49y olds yeah yeah I just for probably because we interview young people and I have young kids whatever the case and then you might be like you might be more like testing at like 39 but for your awareness of cool new um acronym s you're not in a week and a a week in a week okay but right now you're 36 37 is old like old to know the vernacular that's fair I think I'm doing better than oh think you're doing better than your average 37y old okay I do I do all right great okay anyway um they did me dirty um I think they left the last episode off they sent seven episodes oh yeah there's probably no way it's seven the way it's unraveling I think there's one more yeah okay so now uhuh uhhuh I've [ __ ] myself over two times one is now I have nothing to look forward to which I already was like excited to have some weekly show to look forward to y and now I have to wait so long well although that could be a great excuse to rewatch which would be nice I will because that's what I did to myself with Fallout I got some screeners to do the interview and then we were out yeah and I had just had to wait and that was rough there's 10 episodes of season 4 coming God I have three more that's better that's better much better okay you're only halfway through the season in a way I'm going to rewat 70% through the season but I'm rewatch them all tonight s okay do they drop they drop those weekly yeah uhhuh okay it's so good I love that show so much is this season great this season The Season's great they're always great they just put me in thought Mar short was coming out what happened I know he's not we're friendly Martin Short I don't have his number I guess we're not that friendly oh boy I guess that would that's a good indicator it is a great indicator that we're not really friends well I'm friendly with Selena Gomez too in that way because you're DM or just how oh I just like her a lot no and I bought rare beauty products okay I have hung out with him I did spend a week in the summer with him one time in Canada and then I I have seen you know Selena and I have um mutual friends you do who I can't say why I think that mutual friend would be flattered no it's a secret or you're nervous the mutual friend shouldn't have told anyone they were friends okay Liz no no no no but I love I love her we love her we love her dock yes I love her makeup yeah and I love we're all in yeah we're all in what how was the next day so that was Wednesday night so then what did you wake up at I was so tired and I had I had a meeting at 10 uhoh or 9:30 I had a meeting okay it's all a blur go on um I had a bunch of meetings and I had to look alive yeah and you were struggling yeah I was struggling a little bit but it was worth it then I started to do it last night again but I didn't I stopped myself sort what were you gonna do last night I started that Presumed Innocent sure Jake Jill or Jakey G Jake G JG JG Jers he's great in that show of course he's great in everything did you notice his sunglass thing in the first couple episodes like wears them like around his no I know I did notice that I thought I was going to call be a call back later but doesn't it was just a weird choice that he made yeah he wears them in his button down like mid cool he maybe that's that could be a new gen Z thing we don't know about he probably saw a guy who he was modeling his character after who did that yeah exactly that's probably what happened and no one knows except for that original guy why it's like that just like I only know the friend of a friend that's right it's cool to know things only you know but I want to say he's on I just want to applaud that like I think um Roadhouse is like the biggest most stream Movie awesome enormous hit yeah on streaming and then that thing is constantly number two on Apple I think that thing has done extremely well as as well as well as well as well well I that's going to be the new catchphrase by the way as well as well as well oh hello hello hello God it's it's Bob dur calling yeah what do we need to sell oh he says that yeah he's trying he's going to like you know he's got to mount uh a legal defense after he gets you know incarcerated at post the show yeah there's all this footage of him in the jail cell talking to his wife and he's like what's happening and and the Hampton do we have that house still she's like yeah it and he's like what is the market good and she's like Bob yeah it's like 3x it's probably worth like 30 or $40 million she's like oh okay he has no idea if he has a house that's wife oh wow I all I can say and do you are you familiar enough with the song um you had to be a big shot didn't you had to the Billy Joel song I do um she is the woman in that song she's like a scener in Manhattan and she has made it through I applaud her she's a Survivor okay and she has like been weirdly married to Bob Durst and managing his life on the sidelines but not with him it's very interesting this is so interesting this is like the this is the women who own Tigers yeah mhm it's the same mentality gelle gazelle whoever was with gain yeah exactly there's something very now let's be clear I'm not comparing Bob der's wife to gilain she was a criminal she aided in all of this yeah so I just want to be clear about that but but yeah these people who can dance with like a real dark character and get what they want I know I find it very fascinating and like what have they told themselves that's really what I want to know what have they told themselves to to justify all this and to fulfill them yeah well to me of course it's easy to be judgmental on the outside of New York but clearly La is the same way and it has its own crazy heighten culture oh yeah uh and status is so on display yeah but definitely when I'm watching the during and I'm watching the wife and it's you know real estate family worth billions old New York stuff yeah there is a whole tier of people who are just like they're socialite they're actually socialites like theyve found a way to be wealthy and then they just go to restaurants and they go to different things and art showings and they just to get in the paper at something once in a while it's so fascinating to me yeah like they hope that page six will be whispering about them or something but but then why would she if she's in that group why would she attach herself to Robert first I mean she's got does she already have it I don't think she came with her own money oh I see I I see again maybe she'll ass me maybe she was but no no this is all alleged this is what I think these are just my thoughts we don't know anything fact but one would let's put it another way I have a very hard time coming up with an explanation for why one would be linked to a um convicted murderer and someone who did was acquitted of a murder but admitted to a murder yeah if you stick with someone who's murdered multiple people and financial gains not part of the motivation I'm even more confused about you then so this is maybe even my most generous yeah exactly I guess at what the motiv a tangible answer that's not like psychologically it's interesting like that's a little creepy but probably might be more accurate yeah okay that just reminded me that we had a really interesting question on synced a few episodes ago I forget when that I wonder what your opinion is on this it's just very thought-provoking okay great someone wrote in um that they have been dating someone for a little while and they really really like this person if was like a really healthy relationship really good very respectful all these things and then her friends came to her and they said that they found out that he was on the sex offender registry okay so she confronted him about it and he told her hold on one second though I'm already intrigued by like have you ever had friends that went to look at a that's already really there's so much already there I know which crazy history that her friends feel that protective of her like or they got a vibe from him it's just already quite interesting that they on their own went and searched the sex registry for the new boyfriend maybe like he had a Vibe or something either he had a Vibe or even if someone had a Vibe do you think you your next move would be like I'm going to go to the people I will say especially nowadays because of social media people do really intense deep Dives they frequent those sites okay I don't know about those sides have you ever searched to find out no me neither but I also don't I'm not as D like I could maybe okay um so she confronted him about it and he told her that he did finger a 15year old okay when he was I forget the age and it seems important it does 60 see if I can find it let me see if I can find that specific one that was from like two lists ago I think two two or three okay so when he was 20 he fingered a 15-year-old he met through Facebook okay yeah so he when he he was 20 yeah and um he went to jail oh my God right isn't that what it says on there yeah he went to jail for 3 months and did six months of group therapy then four years of individual therapy so the question was basically can I still date him yeah and my answer was yes yeah same okay I wondered if you cuz you you have some sensitivity around well there's a few things like going on that and I'm of course giving the greatest benefit of the doubt but I I can at least craft a narrative where it's like okay it's not like you you met her coming out of her ninth grade class right so like first of all sure you're like you see someone and in the age Gap 20 to5 it's not like that people look that different right but he knew it says he knew he knew yeah he he knowingly did do it she said he said that to her the reason I said it was okay is because of the way he's handling it yeah I agree like he did the time he did the the therapy he's honest about it and not lying and not being defensive he's just he's telling her I mean Liz was a little bit like he should have told her but I was like how is he going to I mean I get I think he should have told her but I don't know about the timeline exactly yeah yeah you want to give it you want to probably be given a fair Shake I think so too I'm not like probably on a first date telling a girl I tried to rub 7-Eleven and I drove drunk seven nights a week and I had the X amount of sexual partners like that all that's all to come yeah that's like a slow bur yeah I'm not leading with the laundry list of terrible things I've done yeah yeah anyway I just thought I wondered what if you had a if you were going to have a different take but yeah I guess if I'm being dead honest what I'm TR probably trying to assess in that situation is like do I think this person's a pedophile because do I think pedophilia is easily treated with a few months in jail and then I don't no and if it's a 30-year-old and a 12-year-old like to me it's just like very black and white okay this is like you're attracted to young people when you're 15 and 20 I would be hesitant to label that pedophilia right I would not advise someone to date a pedophile no no no yeah it's still a thing it's still bad like I'm not I'm not saying what is the question is not what he did was bad or not bad right correct that is bad um and illegal which is why he went to jail but I think for me I think people can redeem themselves yeah but I but you're right I mean if there's like a pth it doesn't seem like a pathology to me 15 and 20 is a a really bad uh decision and he shouldn't have but it doesn't sound like a sexual deviant yeah a pattern well that's what I said is it seed forward with a little you have more information and knowledge so now if you go on his Instagram and he's 30 and he's following a bunch of uh 18year olds then I'm like yeah yeah we got this might be an issue yeah well I had an incredible couple days and um I got invited to go to the Kelly Slater surf ranch cool which is in the middle of the state it's not on the ocean oh and it was I think originally like one of these water ski parks where they do competitive water ski jumps and [ __ ] in the middle of the [ __ ] desert yeah so they took over that facility and they they still have like a little wakeboarding mini Lake but then next to that is this huge Basin and it's 700 uh yards long so it's seven football fields long W and this huge train car basically moves down a track being pulled by a cable and it creates a wave wow and you can set it at different waves yeah so it can be a perfect competition six foot wave with a barrel at this Zone and then the notes going to Barrel over there it's really fascinating then there's an intermediate wave if you're learning did he invent it he did did he patent like oh yeah yeah wow that's so cool and um it took years like this was a Hu he he's been on this for like 20 years I think they've now been there's more there's one in Dubai they're building one in in Texas um maybe somewhere else and then there's now compete groups that make these things but I've never served ever were you scared I mean I went into it like really owning up to everybody around I don't know what I'm doing I was like really cuz my goal was to be able to accept Direction and advice and coaching and so I have a bad pattern of acting like I know how to do everything before I do it sure and then can fake a lot of that stuff I can pick stuff up kind of quickly and then I've I've passed some Chasm where now I can't ask for advice because I was already posing as someone that knew what they were doing whatever so I went into it completely like I've never done this and I I'll likely suck and let's go and um I did good the the first wave I got up the intermediate wave and I wrote it for a while and um and then it progressed on day two I started writing the the CT waves they call it so like the six foot tall waves and um I mean mostly I have to say there is this dude there a a tahan dude who's like a very famous big wave surfer and kind of Lifestyle Surfer the most like attractive being like tahan big strong friendly and this dude would be on a surfboard lying down and he would time it perfectly so right as I'm entering the wave and trying to stand up he would reach out and hold my surfboard while it was wiggly so I could and a couple of times Monica I was falling off I fell off yeah and he grabbed me in the air and stuck me back on the my God how cool it was oh my God uh yeah it was incredible this guy is incredible I fell in love with him and so the first two days I was definitely getting a lot of help too from mana and um but then the last day yesterday I did a session in the morning it was just me and I did I surfed a bunch and it was it really fun it was really fun it's such a special place you're in like I had my own little Airstream oh fun yeah for like lodging you're in the Airstream the food was really delicious it was a really special lucky uh three days I couldn't believe I got to be there it was yeah I think people really dream of going to this place like Surfers what's cool about is when they have they can have a competition there and then every Surfer gets the same wave so like when you're trying to judge these Surfers out in the ocean the you're judging them on different waves yeah so it's very cool in that way it kind of standardizes the compe but um I got um I was humiliated with how fatigued my shoulders and triceps got I mean I couldn't do the last session which was really hard for me to admit I had done the morning one and my arms hurt so bad when I got out that I had to like go to my Airstream and eat a leave but I was like I was moaning as I went like I felt like i' had been in a motorcycle I that's how like [ __ ] fatigue well you don't use those muscles in that way at all and then it's not even just the paddling it's that you're laying on this board you of your head pulled up so you're like doing a crab kind of so you're paddeling as hard as you can but your heads up and yeah it's really intense yeah so I felt really uh unathletic and weak and should be discarded by Society because I ran out of uh Endurance by the end got it and uh are you going to surf here now ever it's interesting I was like this is like the greatest privilege and gift to have gotten this experience and probably ruins me wanting to Surf because if I go surf now like I liked it for sure it's a very cool feeling if I go out to Malibu there's going to be 20 people on the wave you're competing for the wave I don't know how to read the ocean like I don't know which one I should attempt you're paddling if I was fatigued on this wave you know you're like paddling out to the break yeah it's so much more intense which not saying it won't do it it just I'm aware of the fact that it was a very dreamy version I got to do yeah and so I'm not sure I I'll tell you this if I ever get invited back there I will be there in two two shakes fun of a lamb's tail it was just fun and novel and it was something completely new that I've never tried yeah that's awesome yeah did anyone drown no one drowned I have videos of me and I am so stiff at the end of the night they would put together like highlights of the day and everyone gathers around and you're eating dinner and it's fun and they're cutting to people and people look awesome surfing and when you look at me every single time I look stiff as a tu four I'm up and I'm doing it but I am so stiff and I'm like I have got to get loose because I know the key to motorcycle riding is like you got to be Loosey Goosey like you're like a spaghetti noodle on that thing you can't be tight anywhere and I'm like I got to loosen up but oh anyways cool well that's fun I'm glad you got to do that okay so this is for col man Coleman Domingo reminder to people that if you want to see this movie free yes yes yes yes you can one of the many fringe benefits of listening to armchair expert yes um bless your heart thank you may you rest in heaven with our one and true love knock on would please our Lord and savior you join him and walk hand in hand again my God okay um okay so you can see sing sing for free if you are an arm Cherry uh they'll be a dedicated link and uh we'll put it on stories but we'll also put it in the show notes and um you can enter your email and location and you can redeem a free ticket and see sing sing at a theater look at this so awesome was our first giveaway we're moving more into the zone of Oprah and Ellen now we're finally giving stuff away it's not our stuff but it wasn't their stuff let's be honest that's true yeah so I feel fine yeah fine fine about it try to give some more stuff away soon too if people give us stuff to give you um yes but check that out yeah and check Coleman out um and fun fact Easter egg on Thursday we have another person who's involved in sing sing so we got a whole Sing Sing wink wink for yeah it's kind of an incarceration week yeah it is oh also I want to throw this out here just CZ um it's a very kind of landmark thing so tomorrow is August 20th M and that is the 20y year anniversary of Without a Paddle separate to that I've been in a weird um Sim phase where I a lot of people lately have been bringing up without Appel to me like I hadn't heard about it in a while people and then like just back to back to back I ran into people that brought up without a pedal so anyways yes um tomorrow is a 20 year anniversary it's a very uh important anniversary for me that really starts the beginning of of you know incredible fun life in movies and TV yeah and um and so I'm I'm I am planning something special if you're Without a Paddle Super Fan I'm trying to put together something special to commemorate this and what's probably happening for people who loved without a pedal is I it always made me feel old cuz I as you know I would run into people CU it was always young people who loved it and then they would tell me when they were a kid they liked it and I was a old person already but now these people it's kind of a [ __ ] you back to them to go like that was 20 years ago guys so I'm kind of getting even too which is always good yeah but they weren't babies they weren't newborns they weren't they were like 12 but now they have to admit that oh they're 32 yeah yeah age it'll get you it gets all of us it'll get you good I've been thinking about my age lately in so far as I do you remember when we would see like posts that's like reminder Brad Pitt's 50 now I'll never forget when mcau culan posted like hey guys I'm 40 today sorry or like something something or or hey do you want to feel old I turned 40 today oh okay okay which is pretty good yeah so I just it's always Brad Pit whenever he enters a new decade and I certainly and mind you he's only 10 years older than I am or maybe a little more or less whatever and I all those numbers seem pretty big to me when Brad was hitting those like oh my God Brad's 50 yeah now he's 60 yeah and I was like oh wow yeah it's a thing whether you want it to be or not I know I'm I feel that way too my birthday's coming up yeah I've been thinking a lot about it have you good or bad things bad things bad things it's not even bad things there was a meme I saw that said Monica padman you're getting old no it just said if you have a friend who's a Virgo check in on them it's their birthday month then they're probably very anxious which is good and um yeah to me it's weird because when we all think about age we fear that what it will do is make us think about what we haven't accomplished yet yeah but that's not really the feeling I I feel I feel very proud and happy with what I've accomplished uhuh where I'm at in life and I also feel very optimistic about my future as well yeah but it's just that we're closer to death okay that's what it is for you there is a limited time here yeah it's F night yeah and it's obvious and shorter it's important for us to forget that dayto day but as a birthday approaches you do start realizing oh wow like I'm 37 years in now I'm edging closer ever closer to the Finish Line yeah now see I don't have that because I feel really quite youthful like even trying to Surf this week it's I wasn't like oh I would have picked this up better when I was 25 I don't think that I I'm like yeah I'm um I'm I'm in it so my day-to-day experiential uh version of of my age is like nothing it's I'm never feeling old I'm never feeling lazy or lethargic or disinterested or any of those things it's really just me stepping outside of what the what I think the perception of me is as I get older oh yeah yours is how see you yeah I'm probably more distracted by that aspect of it well in some ways it we're the beginning of what you said is the same thing I'm saying like I feel 25 like I I feel young yeah and I feel that I look young it's nothing like that it's just I feel this way but the reality is I'm getting closer to the halfway point surely I like being here I'd like to be here for a long time and that makes me a little upset yeah once you know that you will there'll be less ahead of you than is behind you which is definitely where I'm at like I'm no well okay the greatest case scenario I'm hitting 100 but that's a really great case scenario I think it could happen so even at that this year I'd go okay well there's more behind me than in front of me no halfway but on the day one of my birthday I'll have tipped it well maybe you can live to be 101 okay tell me more we don't know what's going to happen with medicine we don't we don't so um okay he we talked about dinner parties and that was a fun conversation and he was saying something about making veggies that he makes a lot of veggies and that made me wonder how many people like veggies sure so according to a 2021 survey this is by people People magazine yeah okay 75% of Americans consider themselves reformed vegetable lovers and say they enjoy eating vegetables more now than when they were children well that the survey also found that 68% of respondents say vegetables are being used in more innovative ways and 52% say that this has made them vegetable Fanatics oh my God more than half of people are vegetable Fanatics yeah I'm not seeing that if I can just be honest as I travel through the world I'm at restaurants that's not what I see and now recounting french fries as a vegetable no right no well we're not right that's crazy okay but the there's a new on another thing a doc um the poll reveals American's favorite and most hated vegetables okay okay um oh potatoes got to be number one right okay I'm going to be candid that this is from Fox News okay okay a new survey asked 2,000 us residents to identify their favorite vegetable and a new and the new king of veggies is potato nope but you're kind of on the right track is quinoa no that's it's a grain no what is it corn oh sure I know and like I don't really count that right yeah okay crack well by the way whether it's your favorite vegetable or not everyone's eating more corn than they're eating anything else cuz it's so subsidizing is in everything cracking the top three along with corn which is 91.4% of survey respondents said they were among vegetables that they liked were potatoes mhm um it's the best one barely missing out on the number one spot with 91.2% approval okay it's not the best one I love loaded baked potato more than anyone potatoes all grotten I love potatoes scal potatoes I would never include it as a vegetable to me that does is not a vegetable of course in your like um nice cooked meal at home where you invite friends over yeah but french fries are the best thing in the world we would agree actually what I prefer a loaded baked potato over a french fries what what about the cross french fry at Emmy square that thing is like an explosion I don't even remember it wow and I remember the broccoli salad sad day that is great a sad day yeah that's so great that's delicious a waffle fry right that you're talking it's a waffle fry oh yeah I like I like them but I don't I want a load to baked potato a scallop potato I also love I love a potato chip but french fries aren't my favorite I mean I love a French who doesn't love a french fries MacDonald's french fries yes I agree that if any I'm picking that yeah okay carrots and tomatoes are tied for third to 89% that makes sense except tomatoes are a fruit I know but we're going to say they're a vegetable no cuz Okay I can't in good conscience I mean they they are counting it but um oo another one I'm like onions sure but not the eat more just as a flavoring you almost have to have onion and things for them to taste like anything but no one's eating that on its own except for in Wala Wala Washington where they have the wala wala onion festival and you eat them like apples wala wala sweet onions sweet onions never done it but I've always been intrigued by it okay what if people hook up at the Walla Wala sweet onion Festival it seems a little dicey but if they're all eating it that's fine okay onions and green beans both at 87% where's broccoli on this list okay this exactly beets oh here's the we're going to hear from the oh wait wait wait sorry according to the results our most hated veggie is the turnup sure it's terrible that's why it's got a t and an R they were trying to make it sound as close to terrible as they could it's kind of an aatopia it is okay beats is 26% radishes 23% oh these are least liked beats well knows I don't like beats yeah period yeah even though I and you don't have to sound off in the comments cuz we already heard from everyone know we know that people are upset about they can know that I'm forcing them down yeah cuz I know they're healthy radishes brussels sprouts so this is all negative which is we love Brussels spr I would argue those people just haven't have really well prepared Brussels sprout well that's what the beat people said about me yes that's true okay but brussels sprouts can be made way better than beads I agree I agree that's my favorite vegetable yeah it's a good one broccoli is my fav broccoli is up there for me too I love it yours I like broccoli I love tomatoes no I love potatoes what I don't want to count Tomatoes okay okay I love tomatoes too if I really counting them I would pick that I love iceberg lettuce are you counting that as a vegetable barely I just had a wedge last night again oh yum there's nothing better than a wedge in my opinion it's so good I would love it if it wasn't blue cheese I know you don't love blue cheese and I but if it's a ranch dressing on it I'll with blue cheese crumbles no you want cheddar cuz I just ordered you feta I could do feta feta is a nice option okay so you love you love Iceberg love Iceberg love tomatoes potato tomato you just want to keep saying yeah I'm going to keep it in there cuz that was on the list okay and uh and brussel sprout done correctly or as we in the laau household always said muscle brout right um I like them yeah what about Peas I love peas I'm ambivalent about them okay you know what I like is when they're dotting something else like I get a there's an Indian rice mix that will often they'll add peas to the yellow rice love it pop pop little pop yeah I love a pea pop in a salad yeah that's fun mhm yeah that's I agree okay okay this was brought to you by vegetables we are supported by vegetables hello hello hello time to eat your veggies God okay America's favorite now I'm at the list I was reading and now I'm at the list so I'm just going to go through quickly okay all right favorite America's favorite vegetables 2019 in order corn potatoes carrots tomatoes onion green beans cucumbers broccoli cabbage peas hello peas okay least favorite in order turnup beets radish brussels sprouts ARA choke that's a problem I understand it again if you don't do an art of Choke well they're terrible but if you do them good they're the best are these people thinking about the canned ones who knows or the leaves and they didn't learn to eat the meat they thought you were supposed to swallow that whole knows eat a yuck they thought eat a yucka basically okay love artichokes okay eggplant yeah agreed gross no I love eggplants I like I like a good cooked EG I just bought one from a farmers market I'm so excited to Mush City it's so mushy you're mush City the only good thing about the eggplant is the Emoji that came out of it have you ever had a good eggplant Parmesan like a good good eggplant parmesan I don't like it I've tried it many times especially when I was vegan okay I guess I'm switching to eggplant Parmesan yeah but you have to like I'm just doing no parmesan now is you have to roast the [ __ ] out of them like really most people don't Alison Tom me that Alison Roman yeah um you got to turn it into a goo oh I [ __ ] love it actually she put a eggplant pasta up recently that was so good I'm making it tonight now that you now that we're talking about this okay okay butternut squash I've had it good I've had it good we went through a period of time where we would order a salad from a specific place and that I do love I love this salad and it had had beets and it had butternut squash and so I would say no beets and the butternut squash I would say sure of course and I would pick around the butternut squash every time time MH yeah okay zucchini I love zucchini oh well but when are you ever eating zucchini unless it's deep fried no no I I cook with it all the time or pickled I've never had pickled zucchini but I've had fried zucchini and I like but I like every single thing I've ever had that was fried okay then mushrooms which I love I love them but I know they're polarizing they are polarizing and I agree the texture is dicey it's like what you would imagine biting into a brain is like people are really obsessed with texture I'm one of them oh yeah and then if we had video people could have seen my face they will start seeing your face and your eye rolls I'm going to get them under control they'll see all the daggers you shoot my way and they'll see why maybe yeah okay I'm still going to probably cover my face when I do Impressions even for the audience I think it's too much for them too yeah okay asparagus is the last one I also love asparagus I do too it's great okay but it does have I understand it your PE smell yeah whatever y I like that cuz it's like I know it worked I know it made its way through that is fun yeah you get that direct connection same with when Beats make your PE and pink I have been scared by I think a lot of people have you think you have internal bleeding cuz your [ __ ] is blood red you're like oh my god did I eat a sharp object and you're like no I had beads I wonder how many people have gone to the hospital cuz they ate beads 16,000 a year okay um I found no evidence that um Antoine fuka the director Este steam director he brought up the boxing thing and I think cuz he's done like he did like Southpaw so he probably made them box tank movie with Brad Pit and Peña and I think those guys had to box not pit was excluded I think from the boxing but oh interesting well maybe he wanted a certain body type or something he he does like boxing this director does but I didn't find anything that said he makes all his actors box okay and that's it that was everything not very many facts for Coleman beautiful guy great episode I really loved his energy I was smitten with him yeah me too as I am with his work as an actor all right love you I love you I love you I love you love you bye [Music]