Armchair Anonymous: Grocery Store | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

welcome welcome welcome to armchair Anonymous I'm Dak Shephard I'm joined by Monica padman hello I'm going to be the first to admit I poo pooed this prompt I mean I didn't poo poo it I signed off on it but I had low expectations grocery stores yeah you were like what H what could happen at a grocery store boy was I wrong this was one of the most barn burner episodes we've had in forever it was really fun and lots of left turns left curve balls py violence injury and then a heartwarming story so this was this is a tricky one because you definitely should not listen to the first three stories but then the last story is very heartwarming so you can listen to that one so I don't know how you do this you can listen to the first one for sure well it has blood a small amount of blood sound like a lot of blood child of peril too [ __ ] just skip it it a great episode though it's a bummer you can't listen to it yeah we'll be back next week with some other great one before we go and turn loose the grocery store Stories We want to announce prompts and guess what we're going to do September and October at once we're going to cast a wider net we're going to flood Emma's inbox and make her crazy mhm okay so this is for September not that you need to know that tell us about a first day of school or lunchroom disaster tell us about a blessing and disguise tell us about an internship disaster tell us a crazy Church story now in October tell us a crazy convenience store story that's based on how a good grocery store was I've had a lot of convenience store stories that's hard to say I'm worried that it's just going to be you who writes in I might write in tell us about a horrible boss we love Horrible Boss they even made a couple movies about it yeah they did tell us about a social media fail these could hit all kinds spots tell us a crazy Hotel story so Hotel story social media a fail Horrible Boss convenience store crazy Church internship disaster blessing in disguise and first day of school or lunchroom disaster please write in we would love to talk to you and hear the juicy stories please enjoy grocery store debacles Hard Times come and go good times take them slow my life I had them both one say you got to know I'm keep on Shining hi hi this gorgeous Fort yeah what a cozy Fort you're in thank you all of our closets don't get good Wi-Fi so this was the best option it looks really cozy it feels like something I want to go take a nap in yeah you should consider keeping it in your house as a what do they call those rooms where you go to like if you're having a bad trip at a at a concert venue it's like a safe room or something yeah I will consider that okay where are you calling us from I am from San Diego oh wonderful many of our good friends are from the San Diego area were you involved in youth Christian theater I was oh my no way yes Christian Youth Theater CYT CT I used to work for them and choreograph for them for a long time yeah no oh my goodness so you know well the Russells uh unbelievable okay and you have a grocery store story on top of it I do have a grocery store story this story actually takes place in 2013 and at the time we were living in San Jose I have three daughters they were six four and 1 years old so I had just picked up my middle daughter Amber from ballet class and I had like an hour to spare I decided to check out the brand new shiny Market that was right next door to her ballet studio so I have my one-year-old in the baby seat in the cart and Amber is beside me and she's in her little pink leotard and tutu and she is walking beside me down the aisle and she's getting lots of compliments of how cute she's looking and she's like kind of dancing down the aisles and people are egging her on we get to the end of one of the aisles and I remember I turn for a second and it's the jellies and jams and I turn and like pick up a jar and all of a sudden I hear this crash happen and I thought the entire shelf of jam fell that's how bad the crash glass everywhere substances flying and I'm like what happened really quick you're in California is your like first thought earthquake or child I've been in several earthquakes it wasn't ground rumbling it was like a crash bang last flying everywhere happening so I look down the aisle a little way at the end of the aisle my daughter had danced into a display of wine they had put red wine white wines into like a tower display and she had crashed into it and the entire display had fallen over no and there was wine everywhere glass everywhere my daughter's like in the middle of the mess obviously we're making a big scene a crowd is gathering around us I'm in shock I have my cart and my one-year-old and I'm just stunned I don't know what to do and out of nowhere probably like six workers come gathering around us and they're like giving us towels and trying to dry off my daughter she's crying and ay sterical this whole time and one of them notices that my daughter's leg is cut it's bleeding pretty badly o really quick kind of confusing if there's red wine in the mix this doesn't make it the most obvious thing been here is it a cut or is it red wine you spilled your drink on yourself exactly so this is embarrassing to say but my first thought wasn't is my daughter okay my first thought was how am I going to pay for all this wine I think that's natural yeah cuz that is a lot and so the workers come over and one of them notices that she's cut and they're like hey can you grab her and we'll wheel your other baby in the cart and we'll take you guys to the back so I pick her up they wheel us to the back room in the back room there's a first aid kit and I'm just quickly realizing that I think they think I'm might sue them because they just begin to shower us with gifts my daughter is handed this like organic bigger than her face chocolate chip cookie lollipops coloring books they're like what do you want you can have the store bandaging her up and so I'm just still shocked they finally get her cleaned up the cut isn't super bad doesn't need stitches or anything they just clean her up my daughter's actually more upset that her leotard has wine on it than the cut yeah you're worried about the money she's got some do tied up in these tights like everyone's straight to the merch exactly they get her cleaned up I just have a few items in my cart and they wheel us to the front of the checkout line they tell me I don't have to pay for anything in my cart wow they bag me all up they ask me if I need help and I'm like no I'm okay you guys have done enough I just want to leave at this point and get out of there so I take my baby and my four-year-old and we get to the car I had to change the clothes so I was able to change her and we get strapped in and I will never forget I was about ready to give her a lecture on maybe we should be more careful in the grocery stores and all this stuff and I turn around and look at her and her Cary about ready to give her my lecture and she's eating her ginormous organic chocolate chip cookie her reward and I said Amber did you learn anything today and she said it's okay to dance in grocery stores as long as it's not next to Wine yes she do to this day she is a dancer and so it was worth it she is now in high school and goes to a performing art booring school for dance oh no kidding wow incredible and is she a wino as well that'd be a great or she's sober she's afraid of one she not quite old enough but maybe one day we're working on it now not that you're a greedy little pig like me but after you realized all your groceries were free on the car ride home you're like [ __ ] I should have went harder kind of yes like I'm not done sh guys I think everyone has the shopping market sweep Stakes fantasy where you run through and fill up a card as fast as you can and that's virtually what you stumbled into get that Mary's organic chicken oh yeah a couple thousand dollars worth of chicken would have been weird if you would have bought some of the wine but did you happen to notice on subsequent trips there that they had learned a lesson like forget your daughter actually my daughter wanted to send like I'm sorry notes after so a couple days later she drew a little picture of her with with crashing bottles of wine all around and a little note that said I'm sorry and I went in and I actually found the manager that was helping bager up and I gave him the note and he hung it on his bulletin board in the back office they were super sweet but I did notice that there was no wine display on the end of the aisle not just for little dancing ballerinas but a lot of times people are on their phone kind of pushing their cart forward as they text like just a big pyramid of glass in an AIS is probably CS are already hard to navigate maneuver yeah I could imagine that going poorly I'm still kind of getting over the fact that I just randomly guessed if she was involved I helped found dyt in Santa Cruz oh no kidding and then when it started in San Diego Then I joined the team here as part of the directors oh my God so do you know Amy Russell Hansen Hansen not really but I do know she's related yeah to the wrestles but no I don't know her but I know she's friends with you guys so I've always kind of said by Third removal we're friends absolutely that's so fun yeah it's only one degree of separation really can I give a shout out really quick please my friend Michelle we're both armchair expert fans so I wanted to give her a shout out and it was her birthday this week too so happy birthday Michelle happy birthday so happy to have you great meeting you and thank you for telling us that great story thank you take care that's wild truly wild yeah the world simy simy is lazy Sim is hot for the summer yeah too hot behind the curtain the air was too strong for you in here and you went and fetched a sweatshirt and now are you regretting it no you're still cold mhm okay great my tea is cold everything's cold my heart is cold Morgan I think I bet it's Morgan Morgan but there's an I know there's too many letters for sure but there's no way it's morganan we'll find out why oh no Morgan Morgan Morgan boy hell we were just deciding exactly how to pronounce your name is it Morgan or Morgan it's just Morgan my mom just wanted to [ __ ] around with everyone I like a little twist my mom does to apparently where are you Morgan I know you like the guessing game sometimes oh you're clearly in a closet okay but there's jackets and stuff so it's a cold and V I want to say Minnesota but you don't have the accent I'm in a tank tap right now too oh so it's warm currently Utah Colorado that's a good guess wobby Colorado our final answer Buffalo oh I don't think I would have got I never would have okay so you're in Buffalo does your grocery store story take place in Buffalo it does not it takes place on the first day of my honeymoon my 29th birthday in Rome oh okay wait you got married right on your birthday and went on your honeymoon we got married June 29th so like 6 weeks ago and then when went to Italy 2 days after we got married wait so this story is new it's like from a month ago yeah exciting we rarely get him this fresh first of all congratulations on your nuptials and also congratulations on a great pick for a honeymoon Rome so I took some notes just cuz I'm like freaking out cuz I'm so excited and nervous and anxious and all the good things before I start I want to give a quick shout out to my sister cuz literally when you guys said the prompt of grocery store she texted me in all caps I was like Morgan you need to submit this so shout out to Alyssa how do she spell Alysa e l i SS okay she's got a Twist too I love it I love your mom me too so we're in Rome we got there like I said on my birthday so it was July 2nd that's Aon weekley's birthday you're j2c July 2 cancer huge amazing rare Club okay so we had just gone out to dinner my dad's from Italy so I've been there a couple times and it was Josh's my now husband's first time in Italy so we were super excited to be there we went out to dinner super nice dinner after that we're walking around I was like let's go to the Spanish Steps so we walked all the way up the Spanish Steps and I look at Josh and I was like oh I have to poop oh we love what this happens sure sure sure sure and if you're at the top of the Spanish Steps and you go to the left there's that little peninsula in a hotel right there maybe you could duck in there and are you the type of relationship where you guys talk about poops clearly oh yeah oh great he literally like lifts his leg up and farts on me it's disgusting wow Buffalo Michigan yeah real unfortunate for me Mich Midwest you know that kind of vibe so we had like a 20 to 30 minute walk back to the Airbnb so we're like okay let's start walking back I start like profusely sweating I'm like not okay I'm like okay let's start going into stores asking them if they have a bathroom we don't really know how like the public restrooms work it's really hard to find Andy can I ask you a quick question is this feeling just like oh I've got a poop or I am sick it sounds like with the sweating maybe SI but also it's very hot out so I don't know I didn't feel like sick I just knew I needed to get to a bathroom almost immediately great we went into like at least three places and everyone was like oh we don't have a restroom some people just straight up ignored us so we keep going oh and by the way I'm wearing a dress with bike shorts under that's important to the story so we're like walking I look at my GPS and I'm like okay we have 11 minutes left o and I look at him and I was like I cannot go on any longer dripping sweat I could hardly walk you having to pinch your butt cheeks and stuff yeah I was like nervous someone like squeak out it was not fun I've never [ __ ] my pants yeah in public at home once okay there we go but not in public so I was like I can't [ __ ] on the street right now like there's so many people like I can't do this I don't know what to do so I like run into this grocery store I'm like okay Josh help me ask people so I run to the back trying to look for a door to the bathroom and I'm asking people restocking the shelves and they're like I don't know I was like this is an emergency I need a bathroom so Josh was asking like the cashiers up front and at this point I was like there's no holding this so you know those plastic bags that you put fruit in sure yeah absolutely the see-through ones so I grab one of those cuz I'm like okay it's going to happen somewhere in here and I just want to be like Mindful and thoughtful to try to not make a mess wow it's desperate times yeah they call us for desperate measures oh yeah so I grabb one of those plastic bags I see this door in the back corner I feel like I like blacked out because I was so frantic but it was just like this little room and then I see another door so I run into that door and it was the cooler the walk-in cooler I like LIF my bug shorts off and I had explosive diarrhea in the bag wow into the sea-through bag you were able to contain it to the bag well let's find out okay I was not yeah there's no way oh my those bags are small I know I didn't know what else to do you're doing the best you can this is like asra responsible as you could get oh my God you're in the coolers all the fresh stuff's in there we're talking with potentially thousands of dollars in damaged goods okay so yeah so I just start having explosive diarrhea on the floor oh yeah I listened to another episode recently and you said whenever you start pooping pee just starts coming out well that's exactly what happened to me I just start peeing like just uncontrollably oh my God your body my body is just getting rid of literally everything it's betraying you betraying me in the cooler in the cooler okay when you guys say cooler you mean like refrigerator let's just say what it is a refrigerator it is a refrigerator yeah really quick did you let the door shut behind you I always have this panic and those things that you're going to get trapped yeah oh I slammed it I need a couple details did you at some point just jet Us in the bag and go [ __ ] it or did you keep trying to get everything in the bag I think the bag like fell out of my hand while I was [ __ ] like I think poop just hit it and it like just fell to the ground blasted it out of your hand it probably splashed it even further like made it all worse oh my God I was almost crying while pooping too cuz I'm like oh my God what am I doing this is so shameful I feel so bad what is my life what is happening so I'm like looking around to see if there's anything I can clean it up with any paper towels any towels of any sort obviously there's nothing in there so I'm like looking around I noticed I [ __ ] on some nice Italian cheese that was the only thing I hit everything else was farther back but there's cheese like right right near my butt oh my this is and by the way this is not to shame you cuz I love this that's weirdly the grossest combination I could hear is that there was like an age cheese with SH it was open why a big block of cheese no so it is a small like Bree all the bigger stuff were in the back but like I just looked around I was like yep I just [ __ ] on some cheese a Brie wheel I think I would have been so overwhelmed by my life I would have taken that Brie and just slammed It On The Ground squished it all up with BL it on the Brie yeah like oh my God you're so lucky I broke this Bree open look what was inside honestly like not a bad idea I really wish I would have done that you guys Sav the day guys I'm a hero and it's my birthday this was in oh I forgot that part what the [ __ ] that is so unfair really quick too not to drag this out too long but in a way you would think the worst part's over but it's not at all [ __ ] all over the place isn't even the beginning are going to try to sneak out okay we'll find out here we go so I'm like looking around obviously I [ __ ] all over the floor I peed all over the floor I [ __ ] on some cheese so I'm like take my bike shorts off and there's nothing to clean up with so I wiped my ass with my bike shorts natur left them in there and sprinted out no stop stop stop of course did you take the Brie oh no I wasn't touching that I would never touch that shitty Brie oh my God you had to I would have done the same thing it doesn't change anything if you stick around we still need an employee to get a mop and all kinds of stuff okay so you run out of the cooler and Josh is waiting at the second most door so he must have saw me like run in and I was like we need to leave immediately this is like a crime scene to me like I'm like guilty I'm shameful we need to leave so the first five minutes of our walk back to the Airbnb is just like silent I was like do you still love me you just married me do you want to continue being married to me I can't believe what I just did is this what 29 is freaking out about everything and then I found out that traveler's diarrhea is a thing yeah I've heard of it is this where you're constipated for a few days because of all the change and then finally your body's like we got to get all this out is that what happens I wasn't constipated at all because there's new bacterias and stuff in these other places that were're not used to well when I was on my EUR trip with my girlfriend Carrie when I was 19 every time we to get on a train and go to another city I would have like I guess anxiety about oh we going to get there we got to figure out a hosle and I got to use this map and there was no phones and so that was happening to me where every time we got somewhere I had diarrhea and one time in particular we got out at the train station in Switzerland and I ran to the bathroom and you had to be able to put whatever their currency was in the [ __ ] lock to get it open and there was about a 2T Gap at the top of the door but that was about 5 ft in the air and I had to jump up and go over the top of that thing and just made it to diarrhea in time well thank God you're so tall you could just that five fo easily so when you told him the whole thing was he kind of proud of you I don't think proud is the right word he was like if that ever happens again you just need to Sho yourself oh yeah yeah I'm trying to imagine there's going to be some judgmental people I don't condone that but some people will be judgmental right maybe they work at a grocery store and they're like God damn it this woman came in I would have have to clean that cheese salesman right now is mad whoever's mad and I'm trying to think what would they have done but I guess Josh your new husband's point maybe you just go in your pants yeah every time I've been in this situation I pull my pants down I don't want to F my pants so I guess it is selfish you should feel your pants and not someone else's but I'm not in any judgment whatsoever I would it on the same thing no one's thinking clearly you're panicked yeah I was so panicked it was so tough a little tiny more tipet I've had some poop issues in the past I went to Italy with em modium ready for me so after that happened I just kept taking em modium because I was so nervous it was going to happen again and then like five days later I almost passed out cu I was so concentrated because I took so much em modium oh God are you Crohn's adjacent or anything or IBS adjacent my friend who has IBS also thinks I have IBS but like nothing comes back there's something wrong a lot of women have it it's a very high percentage of women have IBS so you probably have it don't let those doctors tell you you don't have it yeah Monica would never let you have it well Morgan that was delightful yeah I loved that can he actually say hi yeah hi guys hi Jos it was nice to meet you both I'm a huge fan of the podcast oh wonderful also a big fan of without a pedal oh thank you thank you 20 year anniversary coming up let me ask you when you were running around the grocery store and talking to different Italians what was your Panic level out of 10 I was at a 9.5 and the only reason probably I wasn't out of 10 is cuz I wasn't the one who had to poop yeah EXA but I was sweating just as bad I've been there before miror neurons are firing it's a situation where in some weird way you're supposed to protect your lady this is a very traumatic situation you need to protect her and there's not much you can do there isn't and I did not speak Italian which didn't help at the time everybody's staring at me and I'm just shouting bathroom and Italian over and over again and no nobody's G me anything well lovely meeting both of you such a great time nice meeting you too so nice meeting you guys and again when you get through something like that on day one of a honeymoon that's a good sign I'm very bullish about the long-term results of this Union I appreciate that all right well wonderful meeting both of you take care nice to meet you guys thank you so much all right bye bye well that was so fun it saying take care I never say that Ah that's a new yeah I'm giving that a shot oh that was wild that it was only a month ago can't believe it got on the cheese I know hearing those two words together I feel like I would have taken the cheese with me just out of you would have added theft to the but really but you know it's better cuz what if someone eats it they'll well that's the scary part when they got in I mean by the way what a terrible day at work for somebody I know they're like Philip uh go grab something out of the fridge and some guy just unsuspectingly thinks he's running to the the cooler to grab something he walks in he's like a mama mia papaia okay goad somebody had a diarrhea there it is yeah y [ __ ] I fre why did I think of that while we were talking to her this is the most perfect moment for in you got it in okay maybe we'll hear from a grocery store clerk from Italy I would hope I mean that's like remember that happened to us for the wolf yeah K wolves feel fake I would quit I would walk in there you would and I would walk right out put in my one minute's notice I would think this is an opportunity for me to really elevate my standing in this organization no you wouldn't I [Music] [Music] would hello while you're hitting record I'm going to tell you how beautiful your skin is are you noticing that too Monica it's like porcelain beautiful it is nice my wife is going to be so proud of me that you said that cuz she has been on my ass about taking better care of my skin as I get into my 30s now okay great and an ounce of prevention's truly worth a pound of cure and is that a basat reproduction behind you no it is definitely that style though I do a bunch of paintings stuff is that yours yeah it is one of my move again I love it oh it's very cool fairy BOS quat titled this one hangry cuz I'm one of those guys that when I get hungry I get pissed off and I'm a jerk so that's me when I haven't had breakfast have you ever been diagnosed with hypoglycemia I don't know all the men in my family we all get real angry when we're hungry so maybe there's a common theme there yeah maybe ask the doctor to do a glucose test okay you're glucose intolerance okay and then the last thing I just need to talk about before we talk about grocery stores is what a great Mickey's tea back when I was a drinker I would always make room for some Mickey for me opening day baseball was a great Mickey I have the same story I don't drink anymore I stopped drinking 6 years ago best decision I ever made in my life but I saw this shirt at like a thrift store a couple months ago and it immediately just brought me back to some good memories in college and I was like I'm rocking that shirt I don't care I love it vintage have you ever drank Mickey I haven't it's a very unique taste it's a malt liquor you're not missing anything Monica it's pretty nasty stuff Kenny no Mony he's always trying to get me to drink weird stuff he like forced me to drink Guinness in England on tap she's got to do that right I had one sip Guinness is actually kind of respectable I know Mickey's is like in college it's how quickly and affordably can I get drunk that's right oh is it like a Natty light well it's Malt Liquor so that alcohol contents higher like think Colt 45 oh wao okay I don't know what it is but it's probably like 6% alcohol instead of four so you can get pretty hammered for six Buck which is a win everyone drinks Mickey in the 40s although they do have these cute little 12 oz glass bottles anyways enough about Mickey so although kind of on topic grocery store that's where you would buy Mickey's Kenny hit us with your grocery store story yes so let me set the scene this is my junior year of college when this takes place I at the time am living in Glendora California so not too far I know it by Aza yep so I was going to isusa Pacific and I moved off campus and I moved to glendor which is just you know the next town over and because I was living off campus now had a girlfriend things are going well like I wanted a job off campus so I got a job at a local grocery store I'm the bagger I'm the bottom of the totem pole I'm cleaning trash bags cleaning the meat room just all the nasty stuff you do when you're 21 years old and you just need a job this story takes place on a Saturday night I had a night shift so I was going to get off around 1 p.m. I had plans to go hang out with my girlfriend afterwards I don't really remember anything from from the shift this all takes place immediately after I clocked out so I see it's 10:00 I walk over to the little clock out machine punch in my numbers and I start to head towards our break room to grab my stuff and head out side note there's not two entrances some grocery stores have you know an entrance on either side of the store this one just has one entrance right in the middle of the store two very simple retractable glass doors that's the only way to get in and out of the grocery store our break room is right right next to the front entrance so as I'm almost to that door the retractable doors open and I see a man frantically running for his life sprinting into the store oh wow as he comes and just passes me like almost near brushes my shoulder I'm about to say to him something to the degree of excuse me sir no running in the store I'm gonna say something like that yeah but as I'm about to let those words come out of my mouth I noticed there's a cop chasing him ooh o tasty he runs past me and he gets to about the register still running when the cop enters the store and now the cop is right next to me this is all happening within 3 seconds so I kind of turn and I look to see what the hell is going on and as I look back to see what the guy's doing he reaches in his waist pulls a gun no and immediately starts unloading at the cop and I oh oh oh oh my okay like we need one second here talk about how quickly life can change it 3 seconds you're like very inconveniently standing next to the cop by accident oh my God I was headed out for the night going to have a good night and within 5 Seconds all hell has broken loose oh my Lord he's shooting at the cop but I'm right next to the cop so out of instinct I think I dropped to the floor out of training the cop C does the same so me and the cop hit the floor bullets are flying past us they're hitting the glass retractable doors so glass is going everywhere the ceiling tiles are starting to come down because he's shooting so rapidly the bullets are hitting some of the ceiling and there are Doritos flying everywhere wow because the cop and I are kind of hiding behind this Dorito chip display oh my God that I just put together yeah so it was my work that I kind of had this space to hide but if memory serves me Doritos aren't hard to shoot through not a yeah not bulletproof no eventually there's a lull in the guy shooting as soon as that happens the cop kind of pushes me down jumps up and the cop shoots back three or four times oh as soon as those shots were let off there was an eerie silence in the entire grocery store so at that point I looked to my right remembered there's the break room I got to get to some safety so I scooted on my butt across the little walkway somehow remembered the code and got into the break room to hide oh oh my Lord God so I get in the break room I'm checking myself I'm shaking I'm freaked out but I eventually realize I'm okay I don't think I got hit by anything there's no blood I'm okay I'm alive the funniest thing is the first thing I did was call my girlfriend and be like we can't hang out tonight I'm thinking I might be able to salvage that still at this point oh you want to hang yes of course yeah you're like I'm going to be five minutes late yeah something's come up don't worry babe but maybe you had the foresight to know like oh I'm going to be answering I'm going to be filling out some forms yeah so she's freaking out but I'm just continue to tell her like you may not hear from me for a couple hours but I'm alive so I look back out into the little window back into the grocery store tons of other cops are running in now so I got a bang on the door to tell them I'm in here I'm putting my hands up through the little tiny window so they can see they eventually find me they immediately pull me out of the door Pat me down make sure I am who I say I am and they pull me out and eventually take me off to the police station to answer all these questions and that is where I found out that this guy was not actually trying to rob the or anything he had been on a spree of a bunch of other thefts and doing all sorts of stuff all around Los Angeles for about the last week and they had been trying to find him and so they eventually found him driving down the street happened to be by the and he was just running away from the police and I don't know what he was going to do when he got into the grocery store but he was just running yeah he's panicked and if he's on a like a weekl long thing he might be in some kind of psychotic episode did the cop shoot him is that why there was silence did he hit his Target yes he did I didn't see that I was faed down in the Dorito display hiding so like like I'm thankful that I didn't really see what happened back behind me yeah the craziest part is I know bullets were close to me I know they were at me I don't know how close I don't know if he missed me by five feet or if he missed me by a millimeter I have no clue to this day yeah did the cop get shot no actually neither of us got shot so it's pretty crazy so that was the first part of the story which was my experience I want to tell you about the second part of the story which is somebody else's experience of this night yeah so I'm at the police station there's a bunch of us there that night and we all have to give our statements can I ask really quick how busy was that at 10m at that time were there like eight people in line was there two not too busy there was about four of us staff and maybe 10 people in the store so there's you know 15 of us there at the police station they order us pizza they say it's going to be a long night hang out eat some pizza we're going to get you one at a time so during that time we are all kind of telling each other our stories and just being there for each other I see a man in his wife and there's two little kids with them I don't recognize these people I mean at least barkle conversation with them the family didn't live in California he was a professor and they were in Colorado isusa Pacific my college was wanting to interview him for a new job position oh boy yeah you see where this is going his wife does not want to take this job she tells me that night that she was freaked out because she had heard Los Angeles was dangerous he had assured her Glendora youa pretty safe area we're totally fine so they decided they're going to take the interview anyways they fly into Ontario airport and on their way to the hotel they decided hey let's stop and get some snacks before we get to the hotel oh my [ __ ] what a first impression as they're pulling up into the parking lot to go into the three bullets hit the side of their car oh my God the Strays exiting the grocery store exactly Bang Bang bang into the side of the car thankfully didn't penetrate and hit them it just kind of stuck in the side of the car so they had to go to the police station and give their testimony as well my guess is he did not take the job about a month later I see the cop I see him at a restaurant I walk over to him I'm like hey are you the guy that was in that shooting at and he immediately gets stiff and like who's asking so I tell him I was the kid on the floor with you and we hid behind the Doritos he immediately relaxed his me a big hug we talked for a long time and I was able to thank and be like thanks for kind of saving my life there yeah so the other great way this story wraps up is that the next semester at College I saw the professor and they took the job no way oh my God this guy must be a hell of a Salesman his wife my God I hope they paid him triple to come there if there's any Omen to not take a job if you're listening to the universe or you got to think about it the other way the worst it already that's how I would look at it like well nothing bad could possibly happen statistically to us ever again you're so lucky I'm so glad that you're okay that's a Bonker story Kenny that's a real Aaron Weekley story right there well was a banger yeah thank you for sharing that literally and figuratively of course yeah well where are you at now I'm in Sacramento so just up north from you guys sure sure very safe area hopefully safer than Glendora all right well great meeting you k for chatting good meeting you both as well thank you so much all right take care I knew grocery stores were going to deliver I did not expect we've got a shooting a [ __ ] don't go ahead ever think the ones I think are going to be good are going to be good and then they are like meat cute I ended up liking meat cute and you liked cooking and cookies cookie boy no you're not don't make you're not a cookie I was the cookie boy when n and I live together cookies Nate and I were just together and we were telling Aaron and Eric how every single night when we liveed together was cookie time and we would get in front of the TV with our glasses of milk and we would eat Oreos and dunk them in our milk and then we would do that until we were sick of those and then we would switch to chips of hoys for a few weeks I already know about that oh sorry I bored you hello Hi how are you what name do you want to use let's go with Leela okay Lea where are you right now I'm in San Diego visiting my parents but I live in Brooklyn normally that checks out you have an immediate Brooklyn Vibe I oh I'm so honored it's a compliment where does your grocery store story take place this story takes place on the east coast in the early '90s got to be a little bit vague about some things cuz you'll see okay it was around Springtime and my mom one day went to a grocery store that she had never been to before because she had coupons for liters of Pepsi for like 50 cents each got to go oh yeah and it was the right before we knew how bad soda is for you so she goes to this store grabs her Pepsis and as she was checking out at the register the young cashier woman starts talking kind of loudly to her cooworker about her personal life this gy was maybe 18 or 19 at the time and my mom is overhearing her saying oh my God I'm pregnant I don't know what to do about it I'm thinking maybe I should get an abortion and out of nowhere my mom just yells out no don't do that I'll take your baby wait what wait who are you serious wow I'm so serious talk about an Impulse buy at a grocery store it's a check out at a check out I went to get some cheap Pepsi and I ended up with a c and by the way of course she's doing it because when you are 18 and you found out you're pregnant you cannot think about any other thing no matter what you're doing the house could be Empire like holy [ __ ] I'm pregnant exactly yeah she was quite young to give you a little bit of context my parents were not in the market for a new baby at that time it's not like they were total strangers to adoption they couldn't have their own biological kids so actually my sister and I were both adopted at the time of this story I was seven my sister was five and my parents were in their 40s and they thought our family is complete and I also just want to add this was not a religious thing my mom was not is not religious this was not a pro-life thing at all she's in fact very Progressive wow this is great I mean truly an Impulse like I bet she felt like oh I'm hearing this for a reason exactly she says that she was possessed almost something Supernatural to get hold of her on that day she said the words just kind of came tumbling out of her mouth before she even knew what she was saying what was the reaction of this cashier cashier gal obviously very stunned but my mom was very calm after that you know she blurted this thing out and then just gave her her phone number and was like call me if you ever want to talk about anything wow wow and so she did call they began kind of a phone friendship where my parents but most my mom became someone this girl felt really comfortable talking to about her pregnancy her parents actually didn't even know that she was pregnant so she became The Confidant for this girl and it's not like they were trying to persuade her or anything I think my mom just really wanted to be an emotional support for her she began trusting them more and more and she could see that they were already raising two adopted kids successfully and so one day she was like okay let's do this wow oh wow and your mom still this whole time was like yeah I want this baby it wasn't like she was like uh oh she didn't get buyer remorse from the impulse body she didn't get buyer remorse my dad was totally on board amazing These are nice people I know so nice if Kristen comes home and says I adopted an unborn child at Gelson's I'm going to be like hold hold hold hold well it sounds like she may have done that with dogs before exactly Al go you already have all these dogs yes yes anyway so they got in touch with an op option agency of course they wanted to do it all by the books and yeah just a few months later I have a very vivid memory of opening up the garage door Mazda minivan rolling in with my brother in the car seat coming home the day that he was born god wow do you have any idea how the young woman's parents processed all this I don't I think it was still kept a secret so here's the craziest thing about this story actually if you can believe it it gets crazier mom is Vietnamese dad is French the young cashier woman Vietnamese and her boyfriend at the time/ bab daddy is French no way that is crazy I know isn't it wild kind of makes you believe in fate a little bit yes or and is your sister also vietmanese I can't say it correctly no offense intended yes we are both it's kind of a wild story but all because of some liters of Pepsi yeah was trying to save70 cents and how old's your brother now yeah that little baby baby's 32 now oh my God 32 has he ever sought to meet the woman in the G I don't believe so does he know the story oh yes we're all very aware of the story and I know every time I tell it I get the same exact reaction as you guys just what what if Lea and her sister knew they were adopted but he didn't they're like oh he's a boy he's too stupid though this how he out well or I mean I assume he knew he was adopted but in this fashion I didn't know but that's amazing right I love how you described a DEX of being like an impulse purchase like you get gum right at the top of the the end of the register yeah yeah maybe I will drink a Sprite Zero what is this product [Music] yeah that's a very beautiful story is really is your parents are great I think so too they did a good job so they're 72 now 73 and are there grand babies in the mix there are grand babies a I've got two nieces that I adore so much that I'm going to see later on today go swimming in their pool oh wonderful they're also two years apart like your girls and I just love seeing them interact at this young age of five and seven they got sass yes I look for the Sass fun well listen Lea this is a really important grocery store story for us to hear because the previous three have been horrific so this is a beautiful up one those have been upsetting yes and this is very life affirming well when I heard the prompt I was like it's my time to sh out yes this is great I'm so glad you wrote in thank you so much for having me this was so much fun yeah it was really nice meeting you good luck in Brooklyn how long have you been in Brooklyn I've been in Brooklyn for about nine years so I'm almost at my official New Yorker Mark I guess you don't need luck then it already worked out for you yeah I think so all right well take care thank you so much for telling us that bye- bye wow that was cool I'm Blown Away by grocery store I know you stand now I just want to do like a convenience store hardware well definitely Home Depot's got to have some well I [ __ ] my pants at Home Depot I could tell that story well those are great I'm really happy everyone wrote in keep writing in keep submitting your stories keep at it we'll talk soon all right love you love you do you want to sing a tune or something we have a theme song oh okay great we don't have a song for this new show so here I go go go where we going to ask some random questions and with the help of arm cherries we'll get some suggestions on the Fly rhy dish on the Fly rhy dis enjoy