Wooing Undecided Voters | Trump's Marijuana Plan | 1990s Porn Expert Mark Robinson

please have a seat everybody you're very kind welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host step colar ladies and gentlemen what do we looking at here how far away we are mere what 62 days from the election so mark your calendars and share your Xanax because as of today this race is neck and whatever this is can we show this on CBS thank you Harris is meting in most national polls which is nice but the swing States remain very very close and an average of 15% of likely voters say they have not firmly decided their choice how is that possible honey honey I can't decide for vacation should we go to the Four Seasons Resort in anguila or Dan shedow marus remember we stayed we stayed at Dan shadam maras for 4 years why did we leave Trump and Harris are both trying to woo these undecided voters but they're targeting different groups out there for example Harris is reportedly going after women of every stripe or as JD Vance calls them witch women shouldn't have stripes women should have babies all those stripes make it hard for me to find them in the tall grass kamla is also trying to reach young voters that is so important I am also reaching out to young people mostly to ask how do you do that thing on Uber where you add a stop I don't just go how do you does it go to a chip in his head how does he he's driving he can't look of course the biggest opportunity to win over undecided is the debate next Tuesday September 10th after which The Late Show will be live right there right here live boom bang is what we do yeah we'll have all the post debate news like who won who lost and did anyone get slimed I like to flip over Nickelodeon when it get slow one of Harris's goals is to remind voters of how unhinged the four years of Trump's presidency were so she's looking for ways to Rattle Trump that should be fun uh thank you for that question before I answer i' just like to say that I think we can all agree that the most memorable character in Silence of the Lambs was jod Foster also birds love windmills sharks are cool one toilet flush is enough for anyone in conclusion salad I do have one bone to pick about Harris's debate prep turns out the Trump standin she's using is a guy named Philipe rinus who also played a trump standin for Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election what are you thinking get him out of there he's cursed make him Pokemon go away vice president Harris if you really need someone to impersonate Trump for your debate prep have I got a guy for you I'm telling you he comes cheap this guy works totally cheap I'm telling you his Union too a man where a bar barely passible impression can barely say the words he's supposed to say in the prompter when he's doing the impression with no facts in his fingertips right one these ones right here which coincidentally are the entire impression right there they're open they're open they're closed now one of them's up here I don't even need a fat suit cuz I spent a week in Chicago Trump press secretary said the former president doesn't need traditional debate prep because he has proven to be one of the best Debaters in political history as evidence by his knockout blow to Joe Biden okay let's be clear Trump didn't deal The Knockout blow to Biden time did that okay it's like when dad say we had a baby you were there but pump your brakes someone else did a lot of work um Trump does plan on doing at least one traditional mock debate at marago and former Hawaii representative Tulsi gabard will play Harris now you might remember Tulsa gabard from her no you don't so both teams are in their corners getting ready but recently Trump suggested that he might back out so once again next Tuesday The Late Show will be live or not right after right after the debate or an all new episode of whatever's on CBS on Tuesdays I forget let's say tracker tracker he'll find out what's on Tuesdays FBI FBI it's probably an FBI it's most FBI FBI Most Wanted thank you tracker part of Trump's campaign plan is uh to outreach to Bros technically known as reach arounds so Trump has gone on a lot of podcasts lately yesterday he spoke to podcaster and cover model for tiny mouth monthly Lex fredman fredman asked uh Trump about his drug policy you posted recently about marijuana and uh that you're okay with it being legalized but it has to be done safely can you explain your policy there well I just put out a paper and first of all medical marijuana has been amazing it's got to be done in a very concerted lawful way you go into some of these places like in New York it's all it smells all marijuana he's right you're right everywhere you go he's not wrong it it does it smells like weed everywhere in New York it's gotten so bad it's almost impossible to smell the fresh hot urine almost completely covered it up Trump wax lyrical about the truth social platform I tell you it's uh truth is very powerful truth and it's my platform and it's been very powerful very very powerful goes everywhere I call it my typewriter you know that's actually my typewriter I call truth my typewriter and my typewriter I call my dishwasher and of course my dishwasher is now my cell phone hold on hold on I'm getting a call it's mug this is going to be a minute he always spills the tea hello then then Trump went deep how often do you think about your death if you're religious you have I I think a better feeling toward it you know you're supposed to go to heaven ideally not hell but you're supposed to go to heaven if you're good okay um as someone who taught Sunday school for a few years uh I got to say he kind of nailed it Heaven good hell not [Laughter] ideally mortality was clearly mortality was clearly on Trump's mind because he gave this bizarre answer to one of fredman's questions about Democrats what do you respect most about people who lean left who are Democrats themselves or of that persuasion progressives liberals and so on well I look I respect the fact that everybody's in there and you know to a certain extent life is what you do while you're waiting to die so you might as well do a good job as as Forest Gump said life is like a box of death you always you always know what you're going to get and that's dead that's from that Line's from Castaway poor guy his wife was a volleyball but while you're waiting to die you might as well kiss the ball her name was Wilson Rita Wilson very beautiful we miss you Tom but the real the real jaw-dropper came when Trump addressed the 2020 election I became president then the second time I got millions more votes than I got the first time I was told if I got 63 million which is what I got the first time you you you would win you can't not win and I got millions of more votes on that and uh lost by a whisker admitted it he admitted it on camera for everyone to see once again what did you do lost by a whisker okay okay so in other words you did not [Applause] when and and and and sir sir how have you been coping with the fact that you're a big old loser medical marijuana has been amazing outside of the presidential election there some other big races to watch namely the North Carolina governor's race where the Republican nominee is Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson and His record is not great he's a climate denier a holocaust denier and has pined for a return to the America where women couldn't vote yeah truly truly shocking that Trump did not pick him for VP well now a North Carolina news site is reporting that Robinson went to a porn shop nearly every day of the week in the '90s and early 2000s well of course you got to go every day otherwise you're not getting the freshest porn it's not like they refrigerate the stuff and again he went almost every day for over a decade I don't do anything almost every day for a decade Mark Robinson went to the porn store more regularly than I floss Robinson wasn't just window shopping the same report says that over the years Robinson bought hundreds of bootleg porn videos that's right hundreds of bootleg porn videos from the '90s and early 2000s I'm talking Armageddon laid tonight pulp friction and of course sex Toy Story surprisingly the theme song is also You've Got a Friend in Me there's oh but thank you we got a great show for you tonight my guests C 50 c Jackson and slow Hors star Jack L when we come back meanwhile join us [Applause] [Music]