Jon Stewart On First Harris & Trump's Debate | Hasanabi React

[Applause] yeah you ask them a question they just turn the tide and answer whatever they want to answer and now that we're returning to that was so crazy cuz it's like bro that's your strongest like that is the strongest issue that you have Beyond from the most trusted journalists at comedy Center and actually live Special Report The Daily Show presents indecision 2024 the first president the bit again now with 50% less oh man here's your host John Stewart k please sorry I have the I have a gate guy working on my working on my gate and my turrets and my turrets outside of my outside of my my compound the turrets in my gated community that I definitely live in I've too much so we ran out of bullets so he just like he has to put more Mo in the turrets you know regular regular rich people Chad is hassabi meing what do you think bro do you think I have actual turrets in my house yeah dude I have a moat too sometimes dude I can't tell if people are just like straight up at this point you got to be like 14 or something think that hi everybody hello welcome to the Daily Show my name is John S the second presidential debate has just wrapped up we are live well technically uh technically I guess this is the second presidential debate the first presidential debate of this matchup I can't wait to see who the winner will take on next I think we're coming to you live ladies and gentlemen the stakes couldn't be higher as we all try and figure out who will be the next president of Paul wiev MZ gang it's an exciting night for citizens of that esteemed Nation as the rest of us watch with great interest from the neighboring country of no one gives a a stand by the way if you have any friends in PA can you see if they can do anything about congestion pricing if you all right I forget but so far it seems like this presidential race is going to be a tight one the election now a dead heat separated by razor thin margins neck and neck feels like a jump ball race right now for all intents and purposes Horseshoes and hang grenades it's a it's a coin flip the tightest race in a generation as tight as it can get as tight as a tick as tight as a two- tight bathing suit in a twoo long car ride home from the beach that that seems very tight it's as tight as a teenage boy's pants during a Sydney Sweeny Film Festival like it's tighter than Sydney Sweeny's scheduling Windows given how busy she is with projects and in demand as a producer to say nothing of the anyway she's very talented of course with an election this tight it is important to build out a more diverse Coalition and recently Donald Trump has picked up the unexpected support of former Democrats RFK Jr and telsey Gabbert and might even have picked up one of Jeffrey Epstein's most esteemed former lawyers I am no longer a Democrat I am no longer a member of the democratic party this was not my party I just felt appalled when I watch the Democratic National Convention I can't associate myself oh I'm muted hey notice how Donald Trump is not running around being like Jeffrey Epstein's best friend and lawyer endorsed me recently I wonder why cuz that's what it sounds like when KLA Harris runs around being like cheny Endor me it's awesome with the party itself no wait don't go oh you're no longer in the Democratic party Al dtz well guess what Democrats don't want you anyway cuz the Democratic party has standards okay we don't last week former vice president Cheney endorsed vice president Harris would you excuse me one second I don't know what came over me anyway going into the debate one thing was I'm sorry you know what can you meet me over by camera one off seriously off you came this close to destroying the entire world we were this close closer than a teenage boy's pants and no I'm not going to have any fun with this and by the way who in God's name is that endorsement going to sway well I like the democrat's policy on child tax credits but are they bombing enough Middle Eastern countries I there's still some building standing someone should really do something I'm fine it's fine seriously though though that guy now obviously oh please what an aidite takedown obviously each candidate was going to have their goals and strategies for Kam Harris it was going to be quite a needle to thread she really wants to make sure that Americans know her backstory walk away understanding her policy stances make sure she needles Donald Trump gets him to lash out explose the flaws that she sees in him stays calm to be ready for all attacks she got like two minutes is there anything else there are some people who are worried that she might be overpreparing really after doing all that you know Trump was encouraged to take a simpler approach they expect some goting remarks from Harris they have stress to him over and over again do not respond if you're going to respond at all to use facial expressions not to actually go out there and say anything Kamala say everything Trump say nothing but here's what you do uh Mr former president if Kamala says something that surprises you you just go and if Kamala says something that makes you angry you just go and if Kamala says something that makes you feel sexy time so someone that says Trump has strong foreign policies in his better test to protect us especially since he says that all these world leaders would not be doing the things they're doing if he was in office how do you argue someone out of this opinion and persuade them to believe that it's not the greatest thing to say I mean that's a really difficult thing that you can parse through ultimately because these wars did happen under the Joe Biden Administration I guess the only thing you can point to is that given the bipartisan uh given the bipartisanship that comes with American forign for policy it was a lot of Trump's actions that caused the instability that led to October 7 you know both with his handling of Iran both with his handling of the Abraham Accords and handling of Israel just yeah another good thing you can ask them is or show them is how easy it was for KLA Harris to play to to tug on his heartstrings and make him mad right because it was it was super easy for it was super easy for KLA Harris to just like rip him to shreds and play like make him look like a fool so if that's the case if if she could do that then Vladimir Putin can do that tenfold you know especially because KLA Harris is a woman and Vladimir Putin is a man because you know if they're if they're already voting for Trump I assume they're a little bit misogynistic so you can do a you can weaponize that misogyny against uh against them or against Donald Trump you go oh yeah yeah so those were the goals both candidates have now entered the arena Biden and Trump did not greet each other and kamla oh wait you go she went for the handshake ladies and gentlemen what an incredible display of the awkward tension that happens when your son is dating a biracial girl and you meet her parents for the first time do iich as per tradition in American politics the first question is always asked by the most handsome person in a 10 to 15 M radius when it comes to the economy do you believe Americans are better off than they were 4 years ago go ooh first yaza oh yeah second answer the question Mr Vice President I imagine and have actually a plan to build what I call an opportunity economy my plan is to give a $50,000 tax deduction to Startup small businesses I intend on extending a tax cut for those families of $6,000 holy I really you think this would have gone no that was the first time and the last time the economy was addressing that debate yeah dude $50,000 for podcasters is not exactly a great solution to how much people are struggling still oh my God sh tax credit is good Trump still won the economy poll uh the economy CNN post debate poll yeah of course he did he doesn't have to say anything in a lot of these circumstances in a lot of these circumstances like all he has to do is look around just point to things okay I'm going to give such a nice credit when she passes that 50k back for wealthy streamers chat yeah if you just despise me and you are a if you despise me and you're liberal because I constantly on KLA Harris know that she is doing this for me and she's doing this for Michael from Pennsylvania who is a swing state voter in Pennsylvania it's in his name and he's not going to vote for KLA Harris okay I don't even live in a swing state and that's still a problem okay but that's an even larger problem because Michael from Pennsylvania is not going to vote for her and if she ends up winning he's still going to to take advantage of that and so am I okay just remember that remember that liberals I'm not voting for KLA as a philly voter also it's not looking too good Hey listen there are there are 33,000 Philadelphia voters in here right now Pennsylvania voters every single person in here is from Pennsylvania and every single person is saying KLA Harris we're not voting for you unless you change trajectory and stop the seems to me like maybe she should listen seems to me like maybe she should listen here's another reason why you know this is like not an anti-semitic position because if it was it would mean it would be a right-wing position and therefore the Democrats would be desperately trying to grab these voters okay because they only care about right-wing voters whether hypothetical whether imaginary there's always a right-wing guy out there that the Democrats need to win the votes of never to the left mind you God forbid you shut the up if you're a leftist we hate you we despise you the party doesn't want you but also if you don't vote for us you're a scumbag dreary Eerie the mistake on the leg let's go yeah but DT Trump isn't going to stop the war on either I don't understand yeah you don't understand okay you don't let me explain to you Trump is currently not the president okay and Trump is not a president that you can change the mind on unless you have like a couple trillion [ __ ] dollars right Mary mson certainly has 100 million that he gave to Donald Trump and he got she got her assurances that Trump will even Annex right or not the West Bank now having said that why do you vote for the Democratic party you probably aren't voting for the $50,000 in tax credits you think she will be better KLA Harris will be better than Donald Trump why would KLA Harris be better than Donald Trump well because she can listen she responds she listens to your demands okay well you make demands when you have the highest type of Leverage right before a goddamn election that is ass cheeks close to one another okay and it doesn't seem like she's listening right now so I don't know maybe she should what about abortion rights and the fact that women are dying because of lack of Health Care yeah that's a great question great question here's the answer last time this happened you could say what about abortion rights and the fact that you know immigrants are being uh evaporated at the border under Trump's objectively cruel and unusual policies notice how you're only saying abortion now and not the other thing it's because kamla is now on board with the other thing maybe next election cycle you'll be saying well you know she has to go to the center on abortion actually you won't say that she's going to win by the way for the liberals who are upset and scared she's going to win most likely that's my assessment still it's you know that's what I think and then she's not going to do about abortion because she can't because she's not going to win uh she's not going to win both the the House of Representatives and the Senate and then you're going to spend the entire time being like well what can she do she doesn't have the uh she doesn't have the Senate okay she doesn't have the Senate what can she do okay what can she do and it's like okay but then why' you vote for her and then we go back to the same problem then you're going to be like okay well uh it's because you didn't vote for her hard enough and then she'll use that again to run again in 2028 my God you know liberals yeah because I've been dealing with the same exact talking points for I mean I've been dealing with these exact same talking points for the past 10 years okay for the past 10 years I've been dealing with these exact same talking points professionally since 2016 and no I know these talking points hello Assan from 2027 if you're watching this clip are you bald yet did you beat Elder ring DLC yet are you still gaming I will not be balding by 2027 unless I stop taking propa for one reason or another I don't know you can't expect comma to go against the parliamentarian yep there you go oh Hassan even if we have majority how can you expect the president of the United States of America to whip the votes there's always is a spoiler you don't understand okay you don't get it we're one question in we're all millionaires oh my God Donald your response to the question is the economy better now than it was four years ago we have millions of people pouring into our country from prisons and jails from mental institutions and insane asylums they're dangerous they're at the highest level of they are taking over the towns they're taking over buildings they're going in violently ladies and gentlemen I just want to say after surviving the PTSD of the last presidential debate how unbelievably refreshing it is to go back to the same old nobody's going to answer any questions this is unbelievable we're back America is back yeah you ask him a question they just turn the tide and answer whatever they want to answer and now that we're returning to that was so crazy cuz it's like bro that's your strongest like that is the strongest issue that you have Beyond immigration what does your current look on the outcome of the election is it still the same or do you think something has changed in the debate even if slightly so no nothing like fundamentally nothing fundamentally changed because KLA Harris didn't fundamentally change any aspect of her her policies or the way she communicates certain things she just presented a really good case for how she is not Donald Trump and she is a a normal Democrat your ass is going to get deported under Donald Trump I don't think there this is something that I don't understand that liberals say like yeah okay I'll go somewhere else then I'm still going to serve you three minute ab breaks though no matter where I go all right I might be in New Zealand I might be in China okay probably not turkey but I'll still be serving 3 minute outbreaks at the top of the hour you still be like oh man this guy Rich socialist by the way okay it's an agenda 47 yeah I know dude what are you talking about I know no mention of minimum wage or Medicare for all means we're going to get major pump in her number we're not going to get a major pump in her numbers so far they're trying tocate by as close as they can relying on abortion only and even if they're not making much in the way of promises for it yeah I mean there's not really too much you can say she's going to say going to codify roie Wade why not turkey come on dog I think you know why not turkey you won't be broadcasting on Twitch from China bro you're absolutely wrong dude I I would be the white monkey of the Chinese Communist party they would let me do so much propaganda I they probably give me enough money so I can finally do the RT version for China okay me and Ben Norton dude me and Ben Norton baby out there doing the damn thing okay that's the method biggest mistake for me was just not learning Mandarin you know Assan forgets that certain Chatters don't understand sarcasm and jokes it's fine I've given up to the clichs the standards of American political theater I think it's only fair if someone would do the honors of the first baseless at Homam she's a Marxist everybody knows she's a Marxist her father's a Marxist professor and economics and he taught her well but when you look at what she's done to our country oh she's about to be like let's just do this I'm going Toom boom she's about to a Marxist she's about to open up a can of ass Capal on Donald Trump lindsy Davis you better change the subject before the fingers on kamala's hand unite would you go to Israel good one yeah I'm trying to get assassinated dude that's a crazy thing to ask right now of all times too like I want to turn to the issue of abortion oh boy I'm not superstitious but this is where the wheels fell off for Biden he was asked about abortion and he remember how many like Israeli liberal zionists I debated on that issue alone oh just come to Israel bro then you'll see this is not a threat yeah no I I you know probably not the best idea for a you know Pro Palestinian Turkish American to go to Israel don't you think he somehow spun it into why are immigrants raping people and he ended with the classic phrase we'll never forget and that's when we finally beat Medicare they're feeling it too ladies and gentlemen as before President Trump you have the first crack at answering why you dry weade we've gotten what everybody wanted Democrats Republicans and and everybody else and every legal scholar wanted it to be brought back into the states and the states are vote this is one of the craziest ways that like it never it honestly what about Armenia no Armenia would welcome him with open arms you talking about I don't think there's any I have no beef with Armenia um if anything they'd be mad because they probably also think I'm like Pro Russia or something but that's it um so the thing I want to say is I really I it's been so long it's been so long that like Donald Trump hasn't been this prominent in front of our eyes that I just straight up forgot how much he lies dude like I I remember him lying all the time but never to this degree you know what I mean and I'm and and I'm reminded of it like no he was like this he was always like this but some of the that he lies about are so stupid like this argument like who is this for dog 75% of the country obviously considered roie Wade to remain the law of the land that's why the Supreme Court appointees that you put into the Supreme Court literally lied as well and said it's a super precedent and we will not overturn it like every single person straight up lied about this liberals did the same dumb back then too by the way oh my god do you remember liberals writing articles about like how Brett Kavanaugh is a great High School uh basketball coach for the girls and they wrote about how Amy Cony Barrett was actually a femon a feminist icon oh my Lord dude God damn I hate liberals so much well I guess they hated Brett kov more than Amy Kobe Bryant but aay voting and I did something that nobody thought was possible John Stewart from the I was watching this live times pikun uh what you just said yeah that's actually insanely false the majority of people wanted it you know what camel Harris camel Harris Can you address this with a bit more eloquence I have talked with women around our country you want to talk about this is what people wanted pregnant women who want to carry a pregnancy to term suffering from a miscare I literally look like like this is me in 20128 I swear to God this is me in 2028 okay this is some real America hours right here okay straight up no I hope I look like Sam Cedar instead of this this is me 20 years from now okay still doing an internet show still doing an internet show still yelling at lip tards marage being denied care in an emergency room because the healthc care providers are afraid they might go to jail and she's bleeding out in a car in the parking lot she didn't want that Holy she crushed that this is like this is like what this is like one of those Groundhog Day movies where you get to go back and fix the bad way that something happened earlier to the good way and then you learn Italian in the piano and then you get sad and then despondent and then you learn how to love yourself anyway Trump will now finally have to answer to his abortion policy you know what it reminds me of when they said they're going to get student loans terminated and it ended up being a total catastrophe you don't have an like that you can't Flex that brother like you're that comes with the recognition that that was actually a good thing and then the Supreme Court that you made 63 super majority Republican nuked it out of orbit like like how are you this person how are you this dense you know it's like oh yeah remember the good things that you tried to do for the American population and then like my Supreme Court ruined it and by the way anytime he says six brilliant Supreme Court Brave Supreme Court Justices uh you know bravely overturned roie Wade I am reminded that Trump has lost this step he's lost this game he no longer has he no longer balls okay he's got no juice because he should know better than anyone else that the United States Supreme Court is universally despised right now it is it has its lowest approval rating historically so for you to tie yourself to that that while running away from JD Vance like what the are you doing the Supreme Court is basically perceived as JD Vance okay from the eyes of the Americans partially because of the things that they implemented that you now have to defend it's very odd that you are taking ownership over that student loan smoke bomb but we're settling into a rhythm here nice back and forth I got to give it to Trump he's sticking to his guns and he's not letting KLA Harris get under his skin I actually think she's not going to be able to needle him I'm I'm going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trump's rallies he will talk about windmills caused cancer and what you will also notice is that people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom oh he's just going to start taking off his ears be like that's it let's go folks the eagle has landed she has attacked what is Donald Trump's most cherished family member his rally crowds Donald he's thinking about how it's true and it makes him sad I don't think it made him sad I think it made him angry he did think about how it's true though for sure I think that was the pivotal point on the debate where from that point on he was like oh remember your training the question is about why you the bipartisan immigration bill you don't need to think about the other first let me respond is to the rallies she said people start leaving people don't go to her rallies son of a [ __ ] people don't leave my rallies we have the biggest rallies the most incredible rallies in the history of politics our country is being lost we're a failing nation in Springfield they're eating the dogs the people that came in they're eating the cats they're eating they're eating the pets of the people that live there what the just happened got these unbelievable rally people don't believe them eating dogs Springfield the immigrants are eating people's dogs which reminds me uh if I may for just a quick moment a quick reminder all the pet owners out there always remember to leash your dogs it's an important way to keep your dogs from fighting other dogs or being hit by a car or being eaten by your immigrant neighbors oh I'm sorry uh also off chanie uh I'm sorry you were saying I just want to clarify here you bring up Springfield Ohio and ABC News did reach out to the city manager there uh he told us like well everyone's having fun with the eating the dogs eating the cash [ __ ] but like dude I think it's sure it's funny but like I think there's something very scary underneath this okay and it is the fact that a story so unimaginably could gain prominence and legitimacy and and be seen as the God's honest truth in such a short period of time by tens of millions of Americans I think people don't get it they don't understand they're there are real foreseeable very negative consequences yeah I said very cool to every time the WR on this website choose to make up about marginalized people you're guaranteed to receive bomb threads this happened with Children's Hospitals this happened with children's hospitals and this uh is happening again uh in schools because they may [ __ ] up about trans people now is happening to Springfield over Haitians it's really up there have been no credible reports of specific claims of pets being harmed injured or abused by individuals within the Immigrant Community I've seen people on television let me just say here this is the people on television say my dog was taken and used for food so maybe he said that and maybe that's a good thing to say for a city manager I'm not taking this from Tel people are T their dog was eaten by the people that went there again the Springfield City manager says there's no evidence of that having spent some time in Springfield myself I believe I know what's happening here I believe Trump himself may be becoming one of Springfield's most famous residents and I believe we have some footage it's right in being old no one listens to you someone ate my dog and finally no debate with the former president would be complete without addressing the president former president's closing number of the Trump Show's first term Mr President on January 6th you told your supporters to March to the capital you said you would be right there with them is there anything you regret about what you did on that day it wasn't done by me it was done by others it would have never happened if Nancy Pelosi and the mayor of Washington did their jobs I wasn't responsible for security Nancy Pelosi was responsible she didn't do her job I had nothing to do with that other than they asked me to make a speech I showed up for a speech you spent two months riling up your base that our country had literally been stolen from them through fraudulent means that you could never even get a whiff of in a court of law and let and let your yourself just abused them you you pressed on you abused their trust you showed up for a speech you tweeted join me on January 6th it will be wild but suddenly now I was just a hired magician did it that's another very funny lie that Trump tells all the time God I love his deflections like it would be it would be really funny if it wasn't like also kind of terrifying that a lot of people believe this but like with abortion he just says oh all the legal Scholars wanted me to overturn roie Wade every American wanted me to do that actually it's like no that's not true and you know that that's not true and then with like January 6 he says Nancy Pelosi did January 6 but also all of the people that were arrested during January 6 which Nancy Pelosi did need to be released immediately because they're political prisoners and also antifa did January 6 except all of the people that were arrested were not antifa uh they were patriots and should be released like not a single part of this makes sense it's like it's like a child lying like you have a child's brain okay holy and the worst part about it is even though it doesn't make any dang sense hella people believe it they're like no that's actually no he's right Nancy Pelosi did do January 6 and also those guys are political prisoners even though they were following Nancy Pelosi's orders I didn't do anything I showed up with a hat and a rabbit and then the whole party went out of control and this is it ladies and gentlemen I I don't know if this debate's going to change anything I really don't people are awfully set in the manner that they view these proceedings what I think is a home run answer for one candidate someone else views as a Dodge or a lie or any of those other things in some ways it doesn't matter what they say anymore but one thing will always be true and it is the quality of the former president I respect respect the least whenever he is cornered and forced to face even the smallest of consequences for his own mendacity and scheming he reverts to the greatest Refuge of Scoundrels as Shaggy would say it wasn't me I did nothing wrong I just showed up they're the ones who went crazy this man who constantly professes to be your Champion yeah I mean they won't hear you dude they won't hear you okay I mean he's right but they won't hear you you also you know who's uh on the Trump train dude and this is why I'm definitely voting for Joe Biden Joseph Robin and Brandon that's right folks in the interest of experiencing true bipartisanship Joseph Robin and Brandon as a joke as a goof as a gaff but I will take it very seriously put on a Maga hat presidential hat presidential SE on it an autographic oh sure yeah you remember your name I don't remember my name I'm SL par you're an old par yeah I know man I'm an old guy and you're an old par right I know you would know about that why C being old oh I know all right I'm a young timer God he's so okay this is man he's good he this is why I used to say he's a good retail politician okay cuz this guy Riz bro that that's a that that is Riz okay he's good when he's got it he's got it okay that is that's cute like straight up I mean he's a genocider the piece of but in terms of like retail politics he's doing it that's why I'm voting for him that's why I'm voting for him that's why I'm writing his name okay you know he reminds me of the guys I grew up with it was always one in the neighborhood damn he just called him out in the entire room what the he reminds me of the guys I grew up with there's always one in the neighborhood that's crazy there you go man got I need I need that that hat you want My Autograph hell no you know my name it on come on I ain't going that far there we go yeah dude dude dude this is this is why I'm voting for him because I believe that the only way that you can be bipartisan as a Democrat is if you are literally a republican okay and that's why I'm voting for Joseph Robin and BR I heard your messages all the Liberals in the chat they keep telling me about harm reduction lesser evil voting like in order for the Democrats to win they have to become Republicans the closer you are to being a republican which is literally just saying like I'm riding with uh Trump okay it's the most it's the most Republican you can get I'm tired of seeing Hogs I'm tired of seeing Hogs say that Biden did this because he's mad at KLA for overthrowing him yeah hey I'm proud of you now remember no eating dogs and cats hey they're good thank you they're good I genely don't understand why I did this because he's just trying to be cute he's just having a fun time he should have never put the Hat on though because it's a power play to give a trump supporter the presidential hat but like putting on the Trump hat is so stupid okay but also at the same time it's not stupid for him because he's a Democrat and Democrats want to Republicans they want to suck Republic rep they want to be Republicans remember that they love Republicans they want them voting for the Democratic party they want to advance Republican policies okay it's a swastika no it's not dude shut up and even if it is like you know you can make the same argument about the Democratic party to hey hell yeah brother maybe he's a big Hank pecker fan yeah yeah brother hell yeah he's got my vote he's got my vote let me tell you ring in Biden he's got good smarts cuz he's Pro Trump I hope you like how' you get another hat there though what do you mean